Dream A Little Bigger, Darling - The Inception Fic Writer's Guide to Firearms, Pt 3
Today I bring a fresh installment of my gun tutorial. This brings us up to Part 3, and this one is about holstering and concealed carry. It's pretty elaborate, which means there will be a Part 4 after this.
Parts 1 and 2 linked for those who missed them.
Now that we’re actually done talking about the mechanics and types of guns, we can start talking about carrying guns.
You know that scene in Inception? When Cobb washes up on the shores of Limbo, and that’s the first time we ever see him? When the guard flips the tail of his jacket up, it reveals his Beretta Px4 Storm stuck in his waistband. That is not an optimal solution, or a long-term solution at all, for reasons I’ll elaborate on below.
For the most part, shoulder-fired weapons (rifles, shotguns) go on slings, and handguns go in holsters.
Holsters
A holster is pretty much a sleeve made to hold a gun, secured to your person by various means, and designed so as to ensure both weapon retention - that is, that your gun doesn’t fall out - and easy access for when you have to draw your gun. They tend to be made of stiff material so that they don’t collapse when you draw your gun (else reholstering the firearm would be a complete pain in the butt).
Holsters are made of various materials; leather is the most popular, followed by ballistic nylon and molded Kydex. In my opinion leather’s the most stylish, but that’s just my opinion.
Holsters come in several flavors depending on who’s using them.
Duty Holsters
Duty holsters are the kind you see on your friendly neighborhood police officers. They’re designed for open carry and tend to have better retention than other holsters so an officer can’t have his sidearm snatched away from him while he’s subduing a suspect. While the higher retention does make such an event more difficult, it could also make quick-draw more difficult.
Tactical/Military Holsters
This is what you see on squaddies or GIs, usually made of nylon, usually matching the uniform’s camo color.
Concealment Holsters
These holsters are the ones I’ll be spending the most time talking about because extractors don’t usually carry openly (for reasons I’ll elaborate on below). They’re designed to be worn under clothing, holding the firearm close to the body, and the holster itself will often disguise the shape of the gun. Because of how close the firearm is held to the wearer’s skin concealment holsters often have broad surfaces so as to make carrying more comfortable and prevent chafing, and are also designed to protect the gun from sweat and dirt.
Sporting Holsters
There’s a lot of these out there, ranging from the quick-draw ones used for shooting competitions, to the kinds hunters carry their enormous revolvers on in bear country. Competitive sports tend to have the most specialized holsters for the simple reason that everyone wants to optimize their equipment with regards to the rules of the game, so they’re probably a category I’d rather gloss over here.
Now that we have holsters, how are we going to wear them?
You can choose to carry your guns openly, which is called open carry, or you can carry them hidden, which is called concealed carry.
Open carry generally happens when you’re on a fishing or hunting trip in bear-infested territory, when you’re a uniformed police officer or when you’re a military servicemember on duty. It tends to attract attention if you’re in an urban area, and a police officer can tell you to put that damned thing away if you distress the public too much. (And no, cops are much less likely to be intimidated by someone carrying a large firearm; they’ll just call for backup. SWAT backup. Nobody wants SWAT backup in their face; SWAT gets to play with all the big guns I’ve been describing in the earlier chapters. And then you’ll either get tased, or shot, and then charged with a felony if you survive.)
Since extractors are generally the kind of people who don’t want to attract any police attention whatsoever, they are most likely to carry their firearms concealed.
Is that your sidearm, Arthur, or are you just awfully glad to see me?
Concealing a firearm is easier said than done; guns have very distinctive shapes, and their outlines can often be seen through clothing. When a gun you are carrying is seen through clothing, it is called printing and is generally a really bad thing if you don’t want anyone to notice your firearm. Individuals who carry concealed have several methods of dealing with this and the methods tend to include a combination of dressing right, using the right holster, and carrying in the right location. But first, let’s talk about where you can put your holsters.
Holster location for open carry
Outside the waistband, on the belt: These holsters are called belt holsters; one normally wears the holster high behind the hip, on the side of one’s gun hand.
Thigh holsters: Popular with the military and the police, as the hand naturally hangs around that location, making drawing quick and natural.
Chest holsters: Also often seen with military types, and also hunters; the holster is clipped either to MOLLE-compatible vests or other chest carriers. Chest holsters are easier to draw from than belt holsters when the wearer is seated in a vehicle.
Holster location for concealed carry
Outside the waistband, on the belt (OWB): It is possible to conceal a firearm in such a holster, but it’s rather likely to print. They tend to be more common for open carry purposes, however.
Inside the waistband, on the belt (IWB): The holster in this case is clipped to the belt, but tucked inside the trousers in a similar position as with the outside-waistband holster. I like inside waistband holsters because some of them give you the option of tucking your shirt over the gun, thus concealing it even better.
Shoulder holsters: The classic plainclothes detective holsters, which distribute the weight of the gun and the magazines across your shoulders. They can be quite comfortable, but you have to be wearing a jacket constantly for true concealed carry. There is also the issue of cross draw - which may mean you have less time to actually line your sights up on your target in a dangerous situation.
The belly band: A broad elastic belt, kind of like a girdle, that holds a holster very close to the body. Normally worn under an untucked shirt to facilitate drawing, although if you really wanted to keep the neat three-piece suit you could wear it low on your hips over your shirt-tails, and under your trousers.
Pocket holsters: For very compact guns, especially backup pieces. The gun slides into the holster, which has a side with a nap that goes on the side facing out. It disguises the shape of the gun, and the napped surface helps the holster stay in place when drawing from a pocket holster.
Groin holsters: Please don’t giggle too hard at this. Groin holsters are basically sort of like an apron-pouch for the gun, which usually also holds a couple spare magazines. It’s worn low on the hips beneath the belt line. Usually quite comfortable, and you don’t generally have wardrobe concerns when carrying like this, but access to the gun for quick-draw can be a bit of a problem.
EDIT: Someone asked me of the safety of the groin holster; isn't it unsafe to have a firearm down near the family jewels?
In the case of a groin holster like Safecarry or Thunderwear (*groaaan*) your firearm is, while in carry, assumed to be in Condition Two or Condition One. Note also how all the holsters actually cover the trigger and the trigger guard of the firearm.
In such a situation, it would take an act of God or a horrible accident for the firearm to go off.
Also in the case of such holsters the gun is not pointed at the family jewels; it is pointed straight down at the ground, and in any super-rare accidental discharge it probably would NOT injure the shooter. Startle the shit out of him, maybe graze his leg, sure.
Now, carrying there is going to be a wee bit dangerous if you're an idiot, carry in Condition Zero, and don't observe trigger discipline, at which point you deserve to shoot yourself in the nuts.
(Also note, Mel abuses understatement yet again. It is more than a wee bit dangerous. It is fucking dangerous and if you do this you're a goddamn hazard to yourself and everyone around you. TRIGGER DISCIPLINE. GUN SAFETY. OBSERVE IT.)
Ankle holsters: Excellent for small backup guns; not so much for larger ones. It can be fairly comfortable if it fits the wearer well, and generally has decent concealment, but it also has the slowest draw of all these options, which may be fairly dangerous in some situations.
Other Concealed Carry Options
Some concealed carry holsters are designed to be mounted inside briefcases, day planners, purses, so on so forth. This isn’t an optimal solution, as you can be forced to leave your gun behind, and you do, you’re screwed if you need it. However, if you’re wearing something as slinky as Mal’s evening gown in the palace dream, a purse holster may be the best option for any kind of concealment. (Or bring a date who can carry a smaller sidearm in an ankle or pocket holster under his tuxedo.)
Holster Considerations for Women
Now, a lot of guns stuff is written for guys, which means folks who want to give Ariadne a gun, or write pre-movie fic with Mal carrying might wonder how it works for them. Here’s some things I’ve noticed.
A woman’s narrower waist and wider hips often cause a belt holster, where the gun is holstered behind the right/left hip, to make the gun (more precisely, the hammer of the gun) dig into the ribcage or the muscles of the back. That can leave a nasty bruise after a long day of carrying. The solution for that is to get a custom holster canted away from the waist.
The breasts may actually be an advantage or a disadvantage with regards to a shoulder rig, as the curves tend to distract viewers from actually noticing the holster or the magazines. However, one has to consider the issue of ergonomics. Someone like Ariadne wouldn’t have much trouble drawing from a shoulder holster, but … an individual like myself with DDs sometimes has trouble reaching across her own damn chest to get the gun out. Yeah. Neither Ariadne nor Mal have that problem, but you might want to consider the problems of a large bustline for any female OC extractors you may want to write.
Wardrobe Considerations for Concealed Carry
If a character is carrying inside the waistband they’re going to have to increase their waist size by an inch to half an inch just to give the holster clearance. This starts becoming an issue when you consider the kind of tailoring Arthur runs around in.
In Silence of the Lambs it is noted that federal agents often weighted their suit jacket hems with washers to make sure their jackets swung away cleanly in a draw; nowadays I’d imagine someone like Arthur using a high-density plastic or ceramic to weight his jacket hems, because metal washers would make for an entertaining afternoon at the metal detector in the event that he is not carrying (say, in the airport of a country that does not allow firearms, whilst flying under his own name.)
If your suit jacket fits very closely due to tailoring (Arthur, we’re looking at you) the bulge of a holster under the arm can be visible, and even if the gun doesn’t print that would be a giveaway.
Belts are going to have to be fairly sturdy to support the weight of a holster; yes, wearing suspenders is probably not going to be a great idea if you’re carrying anything on a OWB or IWB holster. Sharp-eyed fans may notice that in the hotel dream level Arthur draws from behind his hip, before he charges into room 528; but when he takes his suit jacket off he’s not wearing a belt… or a holster. Since that scene took place in a dream one can assume the draw motion was part of him dreaming a gun into existence.
I guess theoretically he could be wearing his holster on something like a belly band, over his shirt-tails but below the belt/waistband line, so fic writers who want him wearing suspenders and carrying a gun behind the right hip in the real world do have this option open to them.
Female characters have other wardrobe considerations; a skirt means ankle holsters are probably not a good idea, and the lighter fabrics women wear can make printing a concern. I don’t have a concealed carry permit for various reasons, but I would probably get around the problem by dressing in layers; an untucked shirt over a camisole with an inside-waistband holster is pretty decent concealment and is how I dress most of the time anyway.
The way Ariadne dresses in the movie would make it fairly easy for her to conceal a holstered gun on herself, provided the gun was small enough; she’s got a fairly petite frame so something like a full-size Glock 17 would actually show against her hip.
Why carrying in the small of the back is such a bad idea.
Some of you will note that I have not described carrying a gun in a holster over the small of the back, above. That is because it is a bad idea. If you wind up in a fight and get knocked onto your back by your opponent, your weight against the gun could fracture your spine. Spinal fractures lead to potential paralysis, which means you’re probably going to get your ass kicked/killed in said fight.
Don’t. Just don’t.
What do you do when you have a gun and no holster?
You could stick your gun in your waistband, but it’s more likely to print, as a holster helps disguise the distinctive shape of a firearm. You’ve also got a decent chance of it falling out or down if you’re moving a lot, depending on how your clothes fit.
If your gun is small enough you could stick it in a pocket; my husband carried his Makarov like that for a while before we both wound up in college (and thus stopped carrying concealed, as campuses are no-gun zones). He did complain about the front sight wearing holes in the pockets themselves, and that made it more likely to print against the surface of his jeans.
In general if an extractor type is prepared, they’ve probably got a suitable holster for the gun they’re carrying, and it’s just more comfortable, and trust me, when you’re carrying a firearm all the time, comfort counts.
Conditions of Carry
Now we have the holsters picked out, and the method of concealment. But we first have to figure out which condition we’re carrying the handgun in. The five conditions of carry were designed by Jeff Cooper, the father of modern firearms technique, and are as follows:
Condition Four: Chamber empty, no magazine, hammer down. This is generally used for long-term storage; few people carrying concealed would actually do anything like this, because it would waste precious time in a dangerous situation. Cobb carries his Beretta in this condition in the elevator in Limbo, when he’s going up to meet Mal, and I suspect it’s because he dreamed the gun up unloaded for safety’s sake.
Condition Three: Chamber empty, full magazine in place, hammer down. This is the safest carry condition for firearms without external hammers, such as the Glock. It’s also the preferred carry condition of the Israeli armed forces, if I recall correctly. You have to rack the slide to actually chamber a round and cock the hammer if you fire, but I grant you mega style points if you can do it in the same movement as your draw.
Note: Not all Glock owners actually carry in Condition 3. Explanation further down.
Condition Two: A round chambered, full magazine in place, hammer down. You have to cock the hammer before you actually can fire the gun. This is applicable mostly to double-action firearms with a decocker-type safety, that cannot be carried safely in Condition One due to the lack of a thumb safety. (SIGs, Makarovs, Beretta 92)
Condition One: A round chambered, full magazine in place, hammer cocked, safety on. This is what Clarice Starling describes as “cocked and locked” in Hannibal. The only thing you need to do to be able to fire your gun in this condition is to draw it and disengage the thumb safety. You can carry a USP, a Browning Hi-Power, the CZ-75 or the 1911 like this.
Extra-Special Note On Why Glocks Are Special, Again
So, Condition 3 is safer for a Glock, but someone like Arthur might not want to have to carry his gun without a round in the chamber. Because the Glock lacks an external safety and an external hammer, it cannot be decocked. However, the striker pin isn't fully cocked until the trigger is pulled, so it's not so much Condition 0, but more dangerous than Condition 1. Really, I'd describe it more as Condition 0.75, and I distrust it, which is another reason why I don't like tupperware Glocks.
Condition Zero: A round chambered, full magazine in place, hammer cocked, safety off.
Don’t do this. Really. The only people I’d trust to do this correctly would be the SAS, and that’s because they actually do carry their Browning Hi-Powers in Condition Zero.
Gun Accessories
Nowadays one can get shit-tons of accessories for one’s guns. Note: not all of those accessories are 100% useful - sometimes I get the feeling that as long as you make something matte black and call it “tactical” gunbunnies will buy it. Don’t believe me? Behold! The tactical cupholder.
Nevertheless here’s a brief breakdown of things you can add on, aftermarket, to your firearm.
Suppressors
I already covered these guys in the “Silencers Aren’t” section in Part 1.
Scopes
These generally go on rifles, or large hunting-size revolvers. They allow the shooter more accuracy over long distances, and the targeting reticles are often marked to allow easy rangefinding. A good scope is expensive as all get out; I seem to recall someone telling me that the ACOG on Arthur’s SCAR-L is about four thousand dollars. That’s nearly a semester of college financial aid for me.
Aftermarket Sights
Aftermarket sights come in several varieties; some are simply adjustable, others are night sights. Night sights are, frankly, really effing nifty. They are self-luminous in the dark; the Browning Hi-Power on my nightstand is equipped with them, and when I turn the lights out and look at the sights, they glow a faint green without actually being bright enough to screw with my night vision or give me away. Very helpful for lining up your sights on targets in the dark. I’m told that they glow like that because of tiny amounts of tritium, which is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen that takes a fairly long time to decay completely, thus providing a good source for the glow.
Laser Sights
Ahh the ever-popular Hollywood laser sights. If you hear something like a breeze by your ear, it’s me taking a deep breath to start this rant. Now, repeat after me, snipers do not use laser sights. Laser light is extremely coherent, but it, too, diffuses in the distances snipers routinely operate at. Moreover, even if you could make a laser that coherent, why the everloving hell would you give your position away with that little red dot?
Laser sights go on handguns and are more often used by police departments for intimidation value - it encourages a perp to surrender when he sees about fourteen or fifteen little red dots on his center of mass.
It’s theoretically possible to trick out a gun with a grip laser, a guide rod and a Picatinny rail laser to get that Predator targeting triangle effect, but my dear husband informs me that at least one of the lasers (the guide rod, he thinks) would be blinking, as that saves power and improves visibility. This is, in my opinion, like getting a Honda Civic and putting an enormous spoiler on it and claiming it goes faster.
In Inception Cobb does not use a laser sight with his Blaser R93 LRS2 when he’s shooting merrily away in the snow level, and I think if he had I would have walked out of the theater in disgust.
Taclights
Taclights are actually quite handy. You can get little ones on a handgun, and much bigger ones on a rifle or a shotgun. What they do is save you having to hold a flashlight in your off-hand. Taclights also tend to be ridiculously bright - like 400 lumens - and thus will blind opponents who are unprepared for you turning the thing on, giving you a window of time to shoot them before they shoot you. Needless to say, this is also going to give your location away for miles with good visibility if you’re trying to sneak around in the dark. What’s also neat is you can get grips with a pressure-pad in them so that the taclight comes on when you hold the grip the right way.
Grenade Launchers
The grenade launchers which would count as accessories here, as opposed to weapons in their own right like Eames’ Milkor MGL would be the underbarrel grenade launchers you see mounted on service rifles. The US military uses currently the M203, which is a single-shot 40mm grenade launcher and it is slated for replacement in the near future, with the M320. They do what it says on the tin - they launch grenades. Good for area-of-effect shrapnel rain when rifle shots aren’t doing the job.
Grips
Grips are a very common aftermarket addition to an off-rack handgun; you can get ergonomic grips, rosewood grips, ebony grips, ivory grips (if you’re willing to break the CITES regulations or get fossil ivory). I’ve been threatening to cast a pair of pink resin grips with Hello Kitty on them for a 1911. See what those blokes at the range say after that.
If you think a gun is too plain for a flamboyant character, you could try giving them something really flashy - like mother-of-pearl grips. I think Eames could rock that, don’t you think?
Stocks
You can replace the grip panels on a handgun, and you can replace the stock on a rifle or a shotgun. There are several reasons to do so. Guns that come with a fixed stock can be hard to maneuver with in tight places; swapping it out for a collapsible or folding stock may be a better option. Moreover, collapsible stocks are adjustable, which may be quite a benefit if you’re someone built like Ariadne trying to use a rifle sized for someone like Eames.
This section was so big that I had to split it in two; so Part 4 will contain the actual techniques of shooting, Hollywood gunfights vs RL gunfights, and legality issues.
- Mel
EDIT: Part 4 is up!
Parts 1 and 2 linked for those who missed them.
Now that we’re actually done talking about the mechanics and types of guns, we can start talking about carrying guns.
You know that scene in Inception? When Cobb washes up on the shores of Limbo, and that’s the first time we ever see him? When the guard flips the tail of his jacket up, it reveals his Beretta Px4 Storm stuck in his waistband. That is not an optimal solution, or a long-term solution at all, for reasons I’ll elaborate on below.
For the most part, shoulder-fired weapons (rifles, shotguns) go on slings, and handguns go in holsters.
Holsters
A holster is pretty much a sleeve made to hold a gun, secured to your person by various means, and designed so as to ensure both weapon retention - that is, that your gun doesn’t fall out - and easy access for when you have to draw your gun. They tend to be made of stiff material so that they don’t collapse when you draw your gun (else reholstering the firearm would be a complete pain in the butt).
Holsters are made of various materials; leather is the most popular, followed by ballistic nylon and molded Kydex. In my opinion leather’s the most stylish, but that’s just my opinion.
Holsters come in several flavors depending on who’s using them.
Duty Holsters
Duty holsters are the kind you see on your friendly neighborhood police officers. They’re designed for open carry and tend to have better retention than other holsters so an officer can’t have his sidearm snatched away from him while he’s subduing a suspect. While the higher retention does make such an event more difficult, it could also make quick-draw more difficult.
Tactical/Military Holsters
This is what you see on squaddies or GIs, usually made of nylon, usually matching the uniform’s camo color.
Concealment Holsters
These holsters are the ones I’ll be spending the most time talking about because extractors don’t usually carry openly (for reasons I’ll elaborate on below). They’re designed to be worn under clothing, holding the firearm close to the body, and the holster itself will often disguise the shape of the gun. Because of how close the firearm is held to the wearer’s skin concealment holsters often have broad surfaces so as to make carrying more comfortable and prevent chafing, and are also designed to protect the gun from sweat and dirt.
Sporting Holsters
There’s a lot of these out there, ranging from the quick-draw ones used for shooting competitions, to the kinds hunters carry their enormous revolvers on in bear country. Competitive sports tend to have the most specialized holsters for the simple reason that everyone wants to optimize their equipment with regards to the rules of the game, so they’re probably a category I’d rather gloss over here.
Now that we have holsters, how are we going to wear them?
You can choose to carry your guns openly, which is called open carry, or you can carry them hidden, which is called concealed carry.
Open carry generally happens when you’re on a fishing or hunting trip in bear-infested territory, when you’re a uniformed police officer or when you’re a military servicemember on duty. It tends to attract attention if you’re in an urban area, and a police officer can tell you to put that damned thing away if you distress the public too much. (And no, cops are much less likely to be intimidated by someone carrying a large firearm; they’ll just call for backup. SWAT backup. Nobody wants SWAT backup in their face; SWAT gets to play with all the big guns I’ve been describing in the earlier chapters. And then you’ll either get tased, or shot, and then charged with a felony if you survive.)
Since extractors are generally the kind of people who don’t want to attract any police attention whatsoever, they are most likely to carry their firearms concealed.
Is that your sidearm, Arthur, or are you just awfully glad to see me?
Concealing a firearm is easier said than done; guns have very distinctive shapes, and their outlines can often be seen through clothing. When a gun you are carrying is seen through clothing, it is called printing and is generally a really bad thing if you don’t want anyone to notice your firearm. Individuals who carry concealed have several methods of dealing with this and the methods tend to include a combination of dressing right, using the right holster, and carrying in the right location. But first, let’s talk about where you can put your holsters.
Holster location for open carry
Outside the waistband, on the belt: These holsters are called belt holsters; one normally wears the holster high behind the hip, on the side of one’s gun hand.
Thigh holsters: Popular with the military and the police, as the hand naturally hangs around that location, making drawing quick and natural.
Chest holsters: Also often seen with military types, and also hunters; the holster is clipped either to MOLLE-compatible vests or other chest carriers. Chest holsters are easier to draw from than belt holsters when the wearer is seated in a vehicle.
Holster location for concealed carry
Outside the waistband, on the belt (OWB): It is possible to conceal a firearm in such a holster, but it’s rather likely to print. They tend to be more common for open carry purposes, however.
Inside the waistband, on the belt (IWB): The holster in this case is clipped to the belt, but tucked inside the trousers in a similar position as with the outside-waistband holster. I like inside waistband holsters because some of them give you the option of tucking your shirt over the gun, thus concealing it even better.
Shoulder holsters: The classic plainclothes detective holsters, which distribute the weight of the gun and the magazines across your shoulders. They can be quite comfortable, but you have to be wearing a jacket constantly for true concealed carry. There is also the issue of cross draw - which may mean you have less time to actually line your sights up on your target in a dangerous situation.
The belly band: A broad elastic belt, kind of like a girdle, that holds a holster very close to the body. Normally worn under an untucked shirt to facilitate drawing, although if you really wanted to keep the neat three-piece suit you could wear it low on your hips over your shirt-tails, and under your trousers.
Pocket holsters: For very compact guns, especially backup pieces. The gun slides into the holster, which has a side with a nap that goes on the side facing out. It disguises the shape of the gun, and the napped surface helps the holster stay in place when drawing from a pocket holster.
Groin holsters: Please don’t giggle too hard at this. Groin holsters are basically sort of like an apron-pouch for the gun, which usually also holds a couple spare magazines. It’s worn low on the hips beneath the belt line. Usually quite comfortable, and you don’t generally have wardrobe concerns when carrying like this, but access to the gun for quick-draw can be a bit of a problem.
EDIT: Someone asked me of the safety of the groin holster; isn't it unsafe to have a firearm down near the family jewels?
In the case of a groin holster like Safecarry or Thunderwear (*groaaan*) your firearm is, while in carry, assumed to be in Condition Two or Condition One. Note also how all the holsters actually cover the trigger and the trigger guard of the firearm.
In such a situation, it would take an act of God or a horrible accident for the firearm to go off.
Also in the case of such holsters the gun is not pointed at the family jewels; it is pointed straight down at the ground, and in any super-rare accidental discharge it probably would NOT injure the shooter. Startle the shit out of him, maybe graze his leg, sure.
Now, carrying there is going to be a wee bit dangerous if you're an idiot, carry in Condition Zero, and don't observe trigger discipline, at which point you deserve to shoot yourself in the nuts.
(Also note, Mel abuses understatement yet again. It is more than a wee bit dangerous. It is fucking dangerous and if you do this you're a goddamn hazard to yourself and everyone around you. TRIGGER DISCIPLINE. GUN SAFETY. OBSERVE IT.)
Ankle holsters: Excellent for small backup guns; not so much for larger ones. It can be fairly comfortable if it fits the wearer well, and generally has decent concealment, but it also has the slowest draw of all these options, which may be fairly dangerous in some situations.
Other Concealed Carry Options
Some concealed carry holsters are designed to be mounted inside briefcases, day planners, purses, so on so forth. This isn’t an optimal solution, as you can be forced to leave your gun behind, and you do, you’re screwed if you need it. However, if you’re wearing something as slinky as Mal’s evening gown in the palace dream, a purse holster may be the best option for any kind of concealment. (Or bring a date who can carry a smaller sidearm in an ankle or pocket holster under his tuxedo.)
Holster Considerations for Women
Now, a lot of guns stuff is written for guys, which means folks who want to give Ariadne a gun, or write pre-movie fic with Mal carrying might wonder how it works for them. Here’s some things I’ve noticed.
A woman’s narrower waist and wider hips often cause a belt holster, where the gun is holstered behind the right/left hip, to make the gun (more precisely, the hammer of the gun) dig into the ribcage or the muscles of the back. That can leave a nasty bruise after a long day of carrying. The solution for that is to get a custom holster canted away from the waist.
The breasts may actually be an advantage or a disadvantage with regards to a shoulder rig, as the curves tend to distract viewers from actually noticing the holster or the magazines. However, one has to consider the issue of ergonomics. Someone like Ariadne wouldn’t have much trouble drawing from a shoulder holster, but … an individual like myself with DDs sometimes has trouble reaching across her own damn chest to get the gun out. Yeah. Neither Ariadne nor Mal have that problem, but you might want to consider the problems of a large bustline for any female OC extractors you may want to write.
Wardrobe Considerations for Concealed Carry
If a character is carrying inside the waistband they’re going to have to increase their waist size by an inch to half an inch just to give the holster clearance. This starts becoming an issue when you consider the kind of tailoring Arthur runs around in.
In Silence of the Lambs it is noted that federal agents often weighted their suit jacket hems with washers to make sure their jackets swung away cleanly in a draw; nowadays I’d imagine someone like Arthur using a high-density plastic or ceramic to weight his jacket hems, because metal washers would make for an entertaining afternoon at the metal detector in the event that he is not carrying (say, in the airport of a country that does not allow firearms, whilst flying under his own name.)
If your suit jacket fits very closely due to tailoring (Arthur, we’re looking at you) the bulge of a holster under the arm can be visible, and even if the gun doesn’t print that would be a giveaway.
Belts are going to have to be fairly sturdy to support the weight of a holster; yes, wearing suspenders is probably not going to be a great idea if you’re carrying anything on a OWB or IWB holster. Sharp-eyed fans may notice that in the hotel dream level Arthur draws from behind his hip, before he charges into room 528; but when he takes his suit jacket off he’s not wearing a belt… or a holster. Since that scene took place in a dream one can assume the draw motion was part of him dreaming a gun into existence.
I guess theoretically he could be wearing his holster on something like a belly band, over his shirt-tails but below the belt/waistband line, so fic writers who want him wearing suspenders and carrying a gun behind the right hip in the real world do have this option open to them.
Female characters have other wardrobe considerations; a skirt means ankle holsters are probably not a good idea, and the lighter fabrics women wear can make printing a concern. I don’t have a concealed carry permit for various reasons, but I would probably get around the problem by dressing in layers; an untucked shirt over a camisole with an inside-waistband holster is pretty decent concealment and is how I dress most of the time anyway.
The way Ariadne dresses in the movie would make it fairly easy for her to conceal a holstered gun on herself, provided the gun was small enough; she’s got a fairly petite frame so something like a full-size Glock 17 would actually show against her hip.
Why carrying in the small of the back is such a bad idea.
Some of you will note that I have not described carrying a gun in a holster over the small of the back, above. That is because it is a bad idea. If you wind up in a fight and get knocked onto your back by your opponent, your weight against the gun could fracture your spine. Spinal fractures lead to potential paralysis, which means you’re probably going to get your ass kicked/killed in said fight.
Don’t. Just don’t.
What do you do when you have a gun and no holster?
You could stick your gun in your waistband, but it’s more likely to print, as a holster helps disguise the distinctive shape of a firearm. You’ve also got a decent chance of it falling out or down if you’re moving a lot, depending on how your clothes fit.
If your gun is small enough you could stick it in a pocket; my husband carried his Makarov like that for a while before we both wound up in college (and thus stopped carrying concealed, as campuses are no-gun zones). He did complain about the front sight wearing holes in the pockets themselves, and that made it more likely to print against the surface of his jeans.
In general if an extractor type is prepared, they’ve probably got a suitable holster for the gun they’re carrying, and it’s just more comfortable, and trust me, when you’re carrying a firearm all the time, comfort counts.
Conditions of Carry
Now we have the holsters picked out, and the method of concealment. But we first have to figure out which condition we’re carrying the handgun in. The five conditions of carry were designed by Jeff Cooper, the father of modern firearms technique, and are as follows:
Condition Four: Chamber empty, no magazine, hammer down. This is generally used for long-term storage; few people carrying concealed would actually do anything like this, because it would waste precious time in a dangerous situation. Cobb carries his Beretta in this condition in the elevator in Limbo, when he’s going up to meet Mal, and I suspect it’s because he dreamed the gun up unloaded for safety’s sake.
Condition Three: Chamber empty, full magazine in place, hammer down. This is the safest carry condition for firearms without external hammers, such as the Glock. It’s also the preferred carry condition of the Israeli armed forces, if I recall correctly. You have to rack the slide to actually chamber a round and cock the hammer if you fire, but I grant you mega style points if you can do it in the same movement as your draw.
Note: Not all Glock owners actually carry in Condition 3. Explanation further down.
Condition Two: A round chambered, full magazine in place, hammer down. You have to cock the hammer before you actually can fire the gun. This is applicable mostly to double-action firearms with a decocker-type safety, that cannot be carried safely in Condition One due to the lack of a thumb safety. (SIGs, Makarovs, Beretta 92)
Condition One: A round chambered, full magazine in place, hammer cocked, safety on. This is what Clarice Starling describes as “cocked and locked” in Hannibal. The only thing you need to do to be able to fire your gun in this condition is to draw it and disengage the thumb safety. You can carry a USP, a Browning Hi-Power, the CZ-75 or the 1911 like this.
Extra-Special Note On Why Glocks Are Special, Again
So, Condition 3 is safer for a Glock, but someone like Arthur might not want to have to carry his gun without a round in the chamber. Because the Glock lacks an external safety and an external hammer, it cannot be decocked. However, the striker pin isn't fully cocked until the trigger is pulled, so it's not so much Condition 0, but more dangerous than Condition 1. Really, I'd describe it more as Condition 0.75, and I distrust it, which is another reason why I don't like tupperware Glocks.
Condition Zero: A round chambered, full magazine in place, hammer cocked, safety off.
Don’t do this. Really. The only people I’d trust to do this correctly would be the SAS, and that’s because they actually do carry their Browning Hi-Powers in Condition Zero.
Gun Accessories
Nowadays one can get shit-tons of accessories for one’s guns. Note: not all of those accessories are 100% useful - sometimes I get the feeling that as long as you make something matte black and call it “tactical” gunbunnies will buy it. Don’t believe me? Behold! The tactical cupholder.
Nevertheless here’s a brief breakdown of things you can add on, aftermarket, to your firearm.
Suppressors
I already covered these guys in the “Silencers Aren’t” section in Part 1.
Scopes
These generally go on rifles, or large hunting-size revolvers. They allow the shooter more accuracy over long distances, and the targeting reticles are often marked to allow easy rangefinding. A good scope is expensive as all get out; I seem to recall someone telling me that the ACOG on Arthur’s SCAR-L is about four thousand dollars. That’s nearly a semester of college financial aid for me.
Aftermarket Sights
Aftermarket sights come in several varieties; some are simply adjustable, others are night sights. Night sights are, frankly, really effing nifty. They are self-luminous in the dark; the Browning Hi-Power on my nightstand is equipped with them, and when I turn the lights out and look at the sights, they glow a faint green without actually being bright enough to screw with my night vision or give me away. Very helpful for lining up your sights on targets in the dark. I’m told that they glow like that because of tiny amounts of tritium, which is a radioactive isotope of hydrogen that takes a fairly long time to decay completely, thus providing a good source for the glow.
Laser Sights
Ahh the ever-popular Hollywood laser sights. If you hear something like a breeze by your ear, it’s me taking a deep breath to start this rant. Now, repeat after me, snipers do not use laser sights. Laser light is extremely coherent, but it, too, diffuses in the distances snipers routinely operate at. Moreover, even if you could make a laser that coherent, why the everloving hell would you give your position away with that little red dot?
Laser sights go on handguns and are more often used by police departments for intimidation value - it encourages a perp to surrender when he sees about fourteen or fifteen little red dots on his center of mass.
It’s theoretically possible to trick out a gun with a grip laser, a guide rod and a Picatinny rail laser to get that Predator targeting triangle effect, but my dear husband informs me that at least one of the lasers (the guide rod, he thinks) would be blinking, as that saves power and improves visibility. This is, in my opinion, like getting a Honda Civic and putting an enormous spoiler on it and claiming it goes faster.
In Inception Cobb does not use a laser sight with his Blaser R93 LRS2 when he’s shooting merrily away in the snow level, and I think if he had I would have walked out of the theater in disgust.
Taclights
Taclights are actually quite handy. You can get little ones on a handgun, and much bigger ones on a rifle or a shotgun. What they do is save you having to hold a flashlight in your off-hand. Taclights also tend to be ridiculously bright - like 400 lumens - and thus will blind opponents who are unprepared for you turning the thing on, giving you a window of time to shoot them before they shoot you. Needless to say, this is also going to give your location away for miles with good visibility if you’re trying to sneak around in the dark. What’s also neat is you can get grips with a pressure-pad in them so that the taclight comes on when you hold the grip the right way.
Grenade Launchers
The grenade launchers which would count as accessories here, as opposed to weapons in their own right like Eames’ Milkor MGL would be the underbarrel grenade launchers you see mounted on service rifles. The US military uses currently the M203, which is a single-shot 40mm grenade launcher and it is slated for replacement in the near future, with the M320. They do what it says on the tin - they launch grenades. Good for area-of-effect shrapnel rain when rifle shots aren’t doing the job.
Grips
Grips are a very common aftermarket addition to an off-rack handgun; you can get ergonomic grips, rosewood grips, ebony grips, ivory grips (if you’re willing to break the CITES regulations or get fossil ivory). I’ve been threatening to cast a pair of pink resin grips with Hello Kitty on them for a 1911. See what those blokes at the range say after that.
If you think a gun is too plain for a flamboyant character, you could try giving them something really flashy - like mother-of-pearl grips. I think Eames could rock that, don’t you think?
Stocks
You can replace the grip panels on a handgun, and you can replace the stock on a rifle or a shotgun. There are several reasons to do so. Guns that come with a fixed stock can be hard to maneuver with in tight places; swapping it out for a collapsible or folding stock may be a better option. Moreover, collapsible stocks are adjustable, which may be quite a benefit if you’re someone built like Ariadne trying to use a rifle sized for someone like Eames.
This section was so big that I had to split it in two; so Part 4 will contain the actual techniques of shooting, Hollywood gunfights vs RL gunfights, and legality issues.
- Mel
EDIT: Part 4 is up!