[Super Junior] Vanilla is the World's Most Popular Flavor, R, Humor/Romance, KiHae
I swore I would never write again - or at least not for a very long time, since I was so burned out. Turns out the best way to make me write was to stick me back in school, take away my free time, make me stressed and never caffeinated enough to not be tired, and voila - I will start writing as a means of coping and procrastinating. This prompt/premise as given to me by swingingstars (♥) and the length is a result of (1) my insanity, (2) my ridiculous KiHae bias, (3) my inability to decide between humor, fluff, or sex, or (4) all of the above. :|
Also, unrelated unless she wants it, happy birthday to my favorite naninande! ♥ You know you are well-worth a gold star, bb.
Vanilla is the World's Most Popular Flavor
(or, Why You Should Talk to Your Significant Other Before Spicing Up Your Sex Life)
Super Junior (M), Kibum/Donghae, others, R, 5085 words
Donghae is afraid his and Kibum's sex life is too boring, so he does something about it.
Donghae slides off Kibum and nestles into his side with a sigh. He pats Kibum's flushed face affectionately, feeling warm and languid in the afterglow as he loses the fight to keep his eyes open. Kibum murmurs something incomprehensible and turns his head, kissing Donghae's palm softly. He drags the sheets back over their sweaty bodies as they both sink into a doze.
"Love you," Donghae mumbles into Kibum's shoulder.
"Love you, too."
--
Donghae's never really questioned his and Kibum's relationship because he doesn't bother wasting his time questioning things that feel so natural and right. He's never really thought much about the sexual aspect of their relationship either - at least not once he got over the initial "I want you but how does this even work?" part. It was sex. With Kibum. It was automatically great and high on Donghae's list of Things That Are Awesome.
He continues happily not questioning things until Eunhyuk makes an offhand comment one day, and then Donghae suddenly can't stop wondering and doubting.
It happens like this:
"I can't believe you haven't seen me for three weeks and all you want to do the first night I'm back is jack off to porn. Can't we at least go out?"
Eunhyuk colors rapidly and throws a pillow at him. "I am not watching porn! I just want to make a cyworld post, okay? It'll take, like, five minutes. If you can't even wait that long, why don't you go call up your boyfriend and have phone sex or something?" Then he makes a face. "Wait! I take it back! I don't want to hear you having phone sex."
Donghae just laughs at him. "Whatever, we don't do things like that. Pervert."
Eunhyuk turns his back on him, tapping away at his laptop as he pulls up cyworld. He scoffs. "What, phone sex is perfectly normal. You must have the most boring sex life ever - not," he adds quickly and emphatically, "that I want to hear about it. At all. Ever."
Donghae flings the pillow right back at Eunhyuk, catching him across the back of the head. He raises his arms in triumph as Eunhyuk grumbles, and sinks back onto the bed to wait for his best friend to finish checking his fancafe obsessively. But the words sneak back into his consciousness, uncoiling something uncertain and unpleasant in his stomach. You must have the most boring sex life ever.
Stupid, he thinks, because his sex life with Kibum is awesome, thank you very much. It's sex. With Kibum. How could it not be awesome?
But it's true that they don't do much...besides having sex. Which is great. The sex is great and Donghae will staunchly defend it until his death.
It's always in a bed, though. Always somewhere private - which makes sense, of course, since they're idols and they're not exactly going to broadcast it to the world. They can hardly have sex in a public place.
Donghae imagines Kibum groping him under a table, while the world passes by unawares. He shudders a little.
Okay, so that's hot. But still inadvisably stupid.
And maybe phone sex just isn't their thing. Kibum's busy. Donghae's busy. Sometimes they can hardly find the time to call each other and talk for two minutes; how much more difficult would it be to find the time - and privacy - to have phone sex?
And so they don't use...toys... Donghae recalls some of the pornos he's watched. No toys. No bondage. No food or feathers or any of that.
So his and Kibum's sex life entails mostly just plain old sex, but that doesn't mean they're boring! It just means they are both hot enough that they don't need any extra stimulants. ...right? They don't have to resort to any of that cheesy, overblown porno stuff in order to make sex hot...
Oh god.
Donghae stares blankly across Eunhyuk's room, unaware of the half-hard state of his cock.
What if Kibum secretly thinks their sex life is boring but has never said anything? Donghae knows that Kibum is the more experienced of the two of them and it's never been an issue before, but Donghae's never really spent that much time thinking about it. It's entirely too possible that the entire problem has gone over his head because he's so oblivious - even Donghae knows that he can be oblivious about things. Very obvious things.
And so the questioning begins.
--
It makes sense that he needs a basis for comparison. Donghae is afraid that maybe his sex life with Kibum has gotten a bit - he flinches at the word, his male pride vastly displeased - stale. Boring. Vanilla. But he's not certain. Maybe this is normal. He can't imagine that everyone is into handcuffs and whipped cream, after all. The only way to know for sure if his sex life is par for the course or - another wince - sadly lacking is to conduct a survey.
A very subtle survey, because there is enough of his dignity on the line already.
Donghae can do subtle. He is all over subtle like white on rice and sexiness on Kibum. His thoughts are momentarily derailed by thoughts of sexy Kibum, panting over him, eyes dilated and dark, mouth swollen and red from Donghae's teeth-
Donghae pulls himself together and sets about finding a notepad and a pen. Armed and satisfied, he leaves his room and spots his first prey lounging on the couch in front of the TV. There's a bounce in his step as he crosses the room.
"So I totally heard you and Heechul fucking last night," he says, flopping onto the couch on top of Hankyung's feet. Subtle and nonchalant. He's good.
Hankyung starts and stares at him, expression blank with confusion.
Donghae grins blithely. He is subtle like a ninja, he thinks to himself in triumph.
"What are you talking about, Donghae?"
"Sounded like you were pretty into it. Did he tie you up or something?"
Hankyung continues staring at him.
"Blindfolds?" Donghae tries. He wonders briefly if Hankyung understands the words. "Handcuffs?" When he is met again only with Hankyung's incredulous look, he adds desperately, "Siwon?"
Hankyung blinks and blurts out, "What? There's no way you could've heard him, he was-" He stops himself immediately and flushes dark red. Donghae finds himself doing the staring, curious because it is rare to see Hankyung so off-guard and flustered - at least when Heechul isn't around.
Then the implications of Hankyung's words sink in. "Oh. Oh!" he gasps.
Hankyung, Heechul, and Siwon? With Siwon...presumably...gagged?
Suddenly, Donghae feels as if his sex life is indeed most inadequate. He drops his gaze to the notepad in his hands, dismayed.
--
He determines almost immediately that he needs another sample for the survey because Hankyung is in no way representative of standards of the norm, not if he's sleeping with Heechul. As much as Donghae loves Heechul, he hastens to add, then wonders why he bothered, since he's the only one who can hear his own thoughts.
Kyuhyun doesn't look away from his game as Donghae interviews him. It works out for the best because Donghae is fairly certain he's getting honest answers, since Kyuhyun hasn't yet managed to divide his attention away enough from Starcraft to attempt to be sly or misleading.
Donghae starts out with a basic question, because he still hasn't figured this one out.
"Are you sleeping with Sungmin or Zhou Mi?"
Sometimes he thinks it's one, but then he'll see Kyuhyun with the other and all his theories crumple. There is just so much smiling and touching and little flirty comments - everywhere! It's utterly frustrating, being unable to pin one down so he can properly tease Kyuhyun as a good hyung should. He leans forward on his chair, pen poised above his notepad in anticipation of the answer.
Kyuhyun makes a frustrated little noise and clicks his mouse rapidly. "Fuck," he yells, and then says, "Both of them."
Donghae falls off his chair.
--
There's no getting around it, it seems. Donghae is glum as he tosses his notepad back onto his desk and drops back onto his bed to stare at the ceiling. Apparently everyone's sex lives are more interesting than his and Kibum's. And apparently threesomes are the way to go. The new fad. The wave of the future. There will probably be CFs for them soon, filled with cheery models and a catchy tune and lots of bright colors. Everyone wants one!
Donghae thinks about Kibum and thinks about sex and wonders who Kibum might be interested in having a threesome with.
Ten minutes later he's got his hand shoved down his boxers, jeans undone, jerking off frantically as he muffles his moans into his pillow. In his mind, Kibum kisses him deeply, thrusting his tongue into Donghae's mouth in time to the thrusts of his hips. Donghae can feel himself unraveling as heat floods him and he arches off the bed, coming into his hand.
He lies there for a bit, boneless and catching his breath, and wonders if it's possible to share that. Donghae is usually sweepingly generous, particularly with his own feelings, but a selfish part of him doesn't want anyone to touch Kibum, to see him frenzied and out-of-control with desire - imperfect, brooding, hot. No one but him.
Then his mind conjures up the image of Kibum's mouth wrapped around a soft, perky breast, and his fingers stroking between two pale, trembling thighs. Donghae's cock twitches in interest and he buries his face back in the pillow.
He probably needs to talk to Kibum if they're going to have a threesome.
--
"So what kind of girl do you like, Kibummie?"
Donghae offers Kibum a half-grin over his drink and tries not to fidget as Kibum downs the rest of the beer, sets the can on the table, and stares at Donghae.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I'm just curious," he says evasively and hurriedly gulps his soju. It is quite possible he's not drunk enough for this conversation. Kibum reaches over and pours him another shot and then refills his own glass. Donghae licks his lips nervously and tries for another smile. "Big chest? Long hair? Long legs, like Kyuhyunnie?"
Kibum gives him a look that is both exasperated and fond. Donghae's heart flips a little bit. Kibum always indulges him, whether he's asking strange questions out of the blue or acting like a hyperactive five year old or giggling over dirty jokes. His socked foot nudges Kibum's under the table and Kibum smiles at him like he can't help it.
"I like long hair. Legs are nice. Chest is nice." He shrugs. "I mean, no preference, really. If she's pretty, she's pretty. It's not like she has to meet specific qualifications."
Donghae isn't sure if that's at all helpful in his quest of narrowing down someone to have a threesome with. In fact, he's fairly certain it's quite the opposite of helpful. Kibum has pretty much eliminated only ugly girls, without giving any criteria for what separates "pretty" from "ugly". So he has really, in point of fact, eliminated no one at all.
"I mean, what about a girl would make you want to sleep with her?" Donghae persists, because he is subtle like a ninja and tenacious like a...tenacious thing.
Kibum's smile fades. "What do you mean?"
"Like, you know. What makes a girl sexually attractive to you?"
"Why are you asking this, Donghae?"
"I just want to know!"
Kibum knocks back his shot without waiting for Donghae. "Are you trying to tell me you're interested in a girl?" He sounds slightly bitter.
Donghae gapes at him. He has no idea where that came from. "No! What? Kibummie!" He flails his hands, because this conversation is not going at all the way he wanted it to. "I just want to know what kind of girl you would want to sleep with! I'm okay with whatever! If you like her, so will I! I promise. I just want it to be good for you." Kibum has to know that Donghae's okay with this, the idea of a threesome. Okay, so he's not thrilled, but for the sake of his and Kibum's relationship, he's willing to compromise. Their sex life needs excitement and spicing up, and Donghae will get them excitement and spicing up, damn it.
Kibum catches one of his flailing hands and holds it tight. "Hyung," he says, "hyung... Are you saying you want... That we should...?"
Donghae makes a face at him. "I just want some excitement and spicing up!" he half-shouts at last, because he will be damned if he lets his and Kibum's relationship go to pieces just because he hasn't tried hard enough.
Kibum's expression becomes unreadable. "I...see."
Donghae links their fingers and sighs. "I hope you do," he pouts. "All those limbs aren't going to be easy to sort out."
--
It comes down to choosing between someone they know and a stranger they'll never know. It's not a hard choice in the end, because someone they know will at least have the wherewithal to keep it quiet.
Donghae is then left with the task of trying to figure out which SNSD member Kibum likes best. He bites his lip and goes to Heechul.
--
Heechul has no idea. "We don't exactly sit around and talk about girls, you know." He ruffles Donghae's hair, grinning. "Yah, I can't believe you guys are actually going to have a threesome. Let me know if you need any tips." He leers a bit.
Donghae moans and buries his face in Heechul's shoulder, clutching at his hyung in his best impression of a limpet. "Shut up, I'm so nervous. I. What if I can't get it up? I'm still not sure if I'm okay with sharing him. What if he wants me to fuck her? Is that better or worse than letting him fuck her?"
Heechul pats his back comfortingly. "I guess it's different when it's all guys. And when all of you want it. Don't cry on my shirt."
Donghae pulls his head back and sets his jaw. "I want it. I do!"
And he does want it. To make Kibum happy, if nothing else. And that was well worth putting up with any anxieties.
--
Kibum has been giving him funny looks lately, like he wants to say something but doesn't know how to. Donghae keeps waiting, but Kibum never says anything. They don't see each other as often as they'd like anyway, because Kibum's filming schedule is hectic and Donghae is still flying back and forth between China and Korea on a weekly basis. He's exhausted and his dreams make him wake up sticky and even more exhausted.
When he catches a free moment alone with Kibum, he can barely find the energy to do more than smile at him and sleep on him. Kibum presses kisses to his mouth softly.
"Are you sure you want," he asks quietly, stroking his hand along Donghae's arm.
Donghae's head fits neatly under Kibum's chin and his eyelids are heavy, but his heart jumps at Kibum's words. "Yes," he says decisively. "Yes, I do. I'm sure." He won't let Kibum doubt him. He has to let Kibum know that it's okay with him.
Kibum kisses him again and sighs, "All right," into his mouth.
--
Donghae ends up asking Yuri because she's beautiful, glamorous, and open-minded. She is also completely inexplicable in the way of all women, Donghae realizes, as she laughs at him and says that he's asking the wrong girl. "I promise I'll find you someone," she tells him, and he believes her, but now he's regretting trusting her at all.
In no world can it be a good idea to ask your ex-girlfriend to participate in a threesome with your boyfriend. Particularly a threesome that might involve Kibum touching Jessica. Or Jessica touching Kibum. And Donghae having to watch.
"Why did you even agree to this?" Donghae demands of her as he manfully resists the urges to strangle Yuri, lock Jessica into a closet well out of Kibum's reach, or cry.
She just smiles at him, far more nonchalant than he could ever hope to achieve. "You're hot. He's hot. Sex is hot." Her delicate brow arches in a blatant question: how could the combination thereof be anything less than Awesome?
For all that they broke up due to their differences, Donghae sometimes finds that Jessica's code - and her logic, in particular - matches too exactly to his.
To say that this is going to be the most awkward threesome in history is probably understating it. Donghae is gloomy for the rest of the week, listening to depressing songs on his iPod and ignoring the questioning looks Henry and Ryeowook give him.
--
"Um," says Donghae as he holds Kibum's hips down and laps at his throat. "Can we&mdash? Um, how about, next week? Friday? Here."
Kibum moans and the sound vibrates against Donghae's lips, sending tingles down his spine. "Yes," Kibum says, "yes, yes, that's fine, Donghae." He fumbles with unsteady hands to pull Donghae closer, and that is the end of conversation.
--
Minho is sitting on the edge of Kibum's bed, long legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankles. Donghae is almost always happy to see him - but this is one of the rare occasions where he'd rather not. In fact, he's not sure what Minho's doing here at all.
"Hi Minho," Jessica says from beside him, smiling.
"Noona," he says and dips his head. He's giving her a weighing look, as if he's trying to figure something out. Jessica tugs on Donghae's sleeve and hisses into his ear,
"What's he doing here? I didn't agree to a foursome. I mean, sure, he's pretty, but you can't just spring these things on me, oppa."
Donghae will never understand women. "I don't know! I didn't invite him! I didn't invite you." He abandons her to Minho's quizzical look and flees the bedroom in search of Kibum. He finds him in the bathroom, topless and wearing only a pair of low-slung jeans. Kibum's leaning over the counter, arms spread and hands gripping the edges with his head bowed. Donghae's mouth goes dry as he takes in the broad expanse of Kibum's back, smooth skin shifting as Kibum sighs and stands back.
Their eyes meet in the mirror.
"Donghae," Kibum says and turns around. His expression is slightly strained, but there's a soft look in his eyes.
Donghae's stomach dips in anxiety. "I. Hi." He swallows hard.
"Are you okay?"
No, Donghae wants to shout. I want our sex life to be exciting but I don't want to share you. I want to keep you to myself. I want to touch you all over. I want love you forever. He runs a hand nervously through his hair, tongue wetting his lips. "What is Minho doing here?" he finally asks.
Kibum stares at him. "...I thought, that is, weren't we going to- I mean. You said you wanted to-"
"I, yes, yes!" Donghae hurries to reassure him. "I'm not backing out! We can still do it. Totally! I just...thought..." He trails off nervously, unsure of where they had gotten their wires crossed. Had Kibum wanted to sleep with Minho? And here Donghae thought all along that their third would be a girl! Was he wrong in assuming that? Should he not have? He panics slightly. Siwon, Hankyung, and Heechul were all guys. Kyuhyun, Zhou Mi, and Sungmin were all guys... Maybe he has fucked up.
He turns wide, worried eyes on Kibum. "I brought Jessica," he says lamely.
Kibum looks like he's just been socked in the solar plexus. "Jessica? You want to sleep with-" He breaks off, shaking his head. "Jesus, Donghae, if you'd wanted to get back with her, you could've just said so! I...would've let you go."
It's like all the air rushes out of Donghae's lungs at once.
"What are you talking about?"
"Is that all this threesome talk was about, hyung?" Kibum's voice is low and steady. "You just wanted an excuse to sleep with her again?"
Donghae's mouth opens and closes soundlessly. He doesn't even know how to begin answering that. "No," he finally bursts out. "No! How the hell did you get that idea, Kibummie? Why would you think that? I don't even want her to be here - Yuri shoved her at me!" He can hear his voice rising in agitation, his accent becoming more pronounced as he continues babbling. "What the fuck? I thought you wanted- Everyone is- I didn't want you to get bored."
Kibum stares.
"I thought you wanted a threesome!" Donghae shouts.
"I thought you wanted a threesome!"
"That's why Jessica is here!"
"That's why Minho is here. I - I thought you'd want to do it with someone, I mean, you seem to love him. Since apparently I'm not good enough."
Donghae feels like tearing his hair out. "What? What? When did I ever say that?"
"You seemed to want a threesome so badly. I didn't think I was that bad in bed." Kibum crosses his arms and glares. "You seemed to enjoy yourself, but maybe you were just faking."
His boyfriend is crazy. There's no getting around it. "I do enjoy myself," he snaps back. "I enjoy the fucking hell out of everything we do. The only reason I was asking for a threesome is so you wouldn't think our sex life is boring and, like, leave me!" He tries not to wince at the last bit there, holding onto his indignation and not the part of him terrified of what he would ever do if Kibum stopped wanting him. He will tie himself up with a purple feather boa and try out any number of battery-operated toys if that's what it takes to keep Kibum around.
Kibum doesn't look like he wants to leave Donghae; rather, he looks like he wants to grab Donghae and shake some sense into him. He visibly restrains himself. "When did I ever say our sex life was boring?" he asks at last. "What gave you that idea?"
The anger drains out of him. Donghae sags against the bathroom wall, uncertainty blooming.
"We never...do anything kinky. Like, not even phone sex... And everyone else is having threesomes, I thought maybe we should too..."
"Oh Donghae," is all Kibum says.
"I just don't want you to get bored of me," Donghae tells the floor.
Kibum reaches out and grasps him by the shoulders. His hands are big and warm, slightly dry, as he pulls Donghae close and wraps his arms around him. "Hyung," he breathes into Donghae's hair, "whoever put that idea into your head is an idiot." He doesn't say anything else - no further confessions of feelings that Kibum has always struggled to express verbally. He doesn't need to. Donghae has learned to read Kibum over the years and the way Kibum is looking at him, holding him, speaks volumes more.
It seems like he's the one who's been a bit of an idiot. "You like our sex life?" he asks hesitantly, just to check. "Just the way it is?"
Kibum raises an eyebrow and it is lucky that Donghae has mastered the art of deciphering the language of the brows, because it seems like everyone is speaking it lately. Kibum's reads: It's you. It's sex.
Donghae finds himself smiling foolishly. "It is all sorts of Awesome," he murmurs and kisses Kibum. He has always thought so.
Two minutes later, he detaches his mouth from Kibum's, panting a little. "So this means I don't have to share, right?" Because this has been eating away at him for a while. Donghae still feels guilty about it but it's Kibum. Donghae doesn't mind if other people look - everyone should appreciate how hot Kibum is - but oh he does hate the idea of anyone else getting to touch.
Particularly Jessica, who looked far too pleased at the prospect.
And as much as Donghae loves the kid, Minho is really too much of a slut to trust. Who knows where he's been?
Kibum laughs softly at Donghae's question and rocks their hips together suggestively in response. "No sharing," he confirms, eyes flashing dark and intent. Donghae moans and grabs the back of Kibum's neck, jerking him forward into another kiss.
They don't make it out of the bathroom.
--
Half an hour later, they're dripping water on the floor as they finally re-enter the bedroom. They ended up in the shower to clean up and now Donghae is back in his jeans, commando, because he really didn't want to put on dirty underwear. His black t-shirt is snug and slightly damp. Kibum is back in his jeans as well, still shirtless but now with a towel draped around his neck. Donghae kind of wants to lick off the droplets of water sliding down his throat.
There is nothing, he is quite happy to report, at all wrong with their sex life. It is quite healthy, active, and plenty goddammned exciting.
"You're an idiot," Kibum tells him affectionately.
"I was willing to tie myself up with a purple feather boa and let you do whatever you wanted to me," Donghae says cheerfully in the spirit of full disclosure.
"That was something I could've lived my entire life without hearing," Minho says dryly.
Donghae and Kibum stop just inside the bedroom. They'd forgotten about their...guests. Minho is sitting cross-legged on the bed, one arm extended and hand held in Jessica's. She's painting his nails. Minho doesn't look bothered.
"I'm guessing we're not doing the threesome anymore?" Jessica doesn't sound particularly upset. "I told Minho we could've just left earlier but this works too." She holds out Minho's hand for their inspection, smiling with a satisfied air at the pearl pink gracing his nails. "Once his nails dry we're going out for coffee."
"Great?" Donghae ventures. Inside, he is reeling at the thought of his favorite dongsaeng going out with his ex-girlfriend. It is, he decides at last, infinitely preferable to his boyfriend sleeping with his ex-girlfriend. Donghae breaks out into a grin. "Great! I'm glad you hit it off! Your nails look great, Minho!"
Jessica laughs at him like she knows exactly what he's thinking. Minho smiles a little too.
"Too bad though," he remarks. "I was looking forward to making hyung scream."
Kibum's killing look speaks volumes as he loops an arm around Donghae's waist. "Feel free to leave anytime."
Minho's smile widens into a smirk. "Oh I didn't mean Donghae-hyung. I've already made him scream. I meant you."
"It's not like that!" Donghae yelps immediately. "I was being tickled!"
Kibum looks at him speculatively and then the corner of his mouth lifts. Donghae gets a sinking feeling in his stomach just as Kibum attacks, fingers reaching out to tickle any part of Donghae he can reach - and he can reach quite a bit considering Donghae is pressed up against him.
Donghae yelps again and wriggles away, laughing as he backs into the bed and tumbling onto it, narrowly missing Jessica. She exclaims in surprise as Kibum follows him, eliciting shouts and helpless giggles. At some point, Minho's hands end up on him too, teasing the sensitive skin of his underarm. And then Jessica, using all the unfair knowledge of an ex, gets him right behind the knees, which makes him jerk and flop around on the bed like a fish out of water, gasping for air between gales of laughter.
"Stop! This - isn't - fair!" He manages to get a hold of Kibum's hair, sliding his hand into the wet locks to cup the back of his head. "Kibummie!" he protests, nipping at Kibum's lower lip. Kibum's laughter puffs against his mouth.
Donghae is only dimly aware of Jessica and Minho removing themselves rapidly from the bed and then from the room. "Nothing more awkward than watching your ex-boyfriend start getting it on with his current boyfriend," he overhears Jessica telling Minho cheerfully. "Coffee? Your treat."
But Kibum's mouth is warm against his jaw, his ear, and Donghae is finally catching his breath again. He lets his consciousness narrow down to only Kibum, his long lashes and his damp breath and the curve of his bare shoulder in Donghae's vision. He sighs. There is nothing he wants right now except Kibum...and that's something he's had for a while now. He shouldn't have let Eunhyuk's comment get to him. Donghae has everything he needs, familiar and comforting, exciting and breath-stealing, all in Kibum.
--
You're an idiot and watch too much porn! >:(( Donghae texts Eunhyuk.
유-유??? is the reply.
My sex life is waaaay more exciting than yours will ever be!!
After a moment's consideration, Donghae adds six other recipients to the text before pressing send.
Eunhyuk is the first to respond. TMI!!!!!!!
Heechul's only sends back a series of "kekeke"s. Siwon and Hankyung don't respond.
Zhou Mi's text is laughingly formal for what it is attempting to express, which is, in essence: Why are we even comparing this??
From Kyuhyun: Pics or it didn't happen.
The best text is definitely Sungmin's though, which ironically follows immediately after Kyuhyun's. He sends a picture of Kyuhyun in his Gee wig and a skirt, with Zhou Mi caught halfway into the frame armed with an oversized make-up case.
Donghae is torn between laughing and being grateful that his sex life is exciting in a hot way, and not in a faintly disturbing way. Still, he keeps the photo for future blackmail purposes. And very carefully does not think about Kibum in a skirt.
--
"Of course, we can always try phone sex or handcuffs if you'd like. I'm not opposed to spicing up our sex life, as long as it's just us." Donghae can practically hear Kibum's smirk through the phone. What a bastard. He knows there's nothing Donghae can do about it, being in China.
Donghae thinks about it for a bit, squirms in his seat, and says casually, "So I was thinking about getting a nipple piercing."
He hears the sudden roughness of Kibum's breath and grins victoriously.
He is obviously a pro at spicing up the sex life. No threesome needed!
Donghae considers awarding himself a gold star for his proficiency at subtlety, tenacity, and outright awesome.
--
Started: 2009.01.11
Finished: 2009.01.12
Also, unrelated unless she wants it, happy birthday to my favorite naninande! ♥ You know you are well-worth a gold star, bb.
Vanilla is the World's Most Popular Flavor
(or, Why You Should Talk to Your Significant Other Before Spicing Up Your Sex Life)
Super Junior (M), Kibum/Donghae, others, R, 5085 words
Donghae is afraid his and Kibum's sex life is too boring, so he does something about it.
Donghae slides off Kibum and nestles into his side with a sigh. He pats Kibum's flushed face affectionately, feeling warm and languid in the afterglow as he loses the fight to keep his eyes open. Kibum murmurs something incomprehensible and turns his head, kissing Donghae's palm softly. He drags the sheets back over their sweaty bodies as they both sink into a doze.
"Love you," Donghae mumbles into Kibum's shoulder.
"Love you, too."
--
Donghae's never really questioned his and Kibum's relationship because he doesn't bother wasting his time questioning things that feel so natural and right. He's never really thought much about the sexual aspect of their relationship either - at least not once he got over the initial "I want you but how does this even work?" part. It was sex. With Kibum. It was automatically great and high on Donghae's list of Things That Are Awesome.
He continues happily not questioning things until Eunhyuk makes an offhand comment one day, and then Donghae suddenly can't stop wondering and doubting.
It happens like this:
"I can't believe you haven't seen me for three weeks and all you want to do the first night I'm back is jack off to porn. Can't we at least go out?"
Eunhyuk colors rapidly and throws a pillow at him. "I am not watching porn! I just want to make a cyworld post, okay? It'll take, like, five minutes. If you can't even wait that long, why don't you go call up your boyfriend and have phone sex or something?" Then he makes a face. "Wait! I take it back! I don't want to hear you having phone sex."
Donghae just laughs at him. "Whatever, we don't do things like that. Pervert."
Eunhyuk turns his back on him, tapping away at his laptop as he pulls up cyworld. He scoffs. "What, phone sex is perfectly normal. You must have the most boring sex life ever - not," he adds quickly and emphatically, "that I want to hear about it. At all. Ever."
Donghae flings the pillow right back at Eunhyuk, catching him across the back of the head. He raises his arms in triumph as Eunhyuk grumbles, and sinks back onto the bed to wait for his best friend to finish checking his fancafe obsessively. But the words sneak back into his consciousness, uncoiling something uncertain and unpleasant in his stomach. You must have the most boring sex life ever.
Stupid, he thinks, because his sex life with Kibum is awesome, thank you very much. It's sex. With Kibum. How could it not be awesome?
But it's true that they don't do much...besides having sex. Which is great. The sex is great and Donghae will staunchly defend it until his death.
It's always in a bed, though. Always somewhere private - which makes sense, of course, since they're idols and they're not exactly going to broadcast it to the world. They can hardly have sex in a public place.
Donghae imagines Kibum groping him under a table, while the world passes by unawares. He shudders a little.
Okay, so that's hot. But still inadvisably stupid.
And maybe phone sex just isn't their thing. Kibum's busy. Donghae's busy. Sometimes they can hardly find the time to call each other and talk for two minutes; how much more difficult would it be to find the time - and privacy - to have phone sex?
And so they don't use...toys... Donghae recalls some of the pornos he's watched. No toys. No bondage. No food or feathers or any of that.
So his and Kibum's sex life entails mostly just plain old sex, but that doesn't mean they're boring! It just means they are both hot enough that they don't need any extra stimulants. ...right? They don't have to resort to any of that cheesy, overblown porno stuff in order to make sex hot...
Oh god.
Donghae stares blankly across Eunhyuk's room, unaware of the half-hard state of his cock.
What if Kibum secretly thinks their sex life is boring but has never said anything? Donghae knows that Kibum is the more experienced of the two of them and it's never been an issue before, but Donghae's never really spent that much time thinking about it. It's entirely too possible that the entire problem has gone over his head because he's so oblivious - even Donghae knows that he can be oblivious about things. Very obvious things.
And so the questioning begins.
--
It makes sense that he needs a basis for comparison. Donghae is afraid that maybe his sex life with Kibum has gotten a bit - he flinches at the word, his male pride vastly displeased - stale. Boring. Vanilla. But he's not certain. Maybe this is normal. He can't imagine that everyone is into handcuffs and whipped cream, after all. The only way to know for sure if his sex life is par for the course or - another wince - sadly lacking is to conduct a survey.
A very subtle survey, because there is enough of his dignity on the line already.
Donghae can do subtle. He is all over subtle like white on rice and sexiness on Kibum. His thoughts are momentarily derailed by thoughts of sexy Kibum, panting over him, eyes dilated and dark, mouth swollen and red from Donghae's teeth-
Donghae pulls himself together and sets about finding a notepad and a pen. Armed and satisfied, he leaves his room and spots his first prey lounging on the couch in front of the TV. There's a bounce in his step as he crosses the room.
"So I totally heard you and Heechul fucking last night," he says, flopping onto the couch on top of Hankyung's feet. Subtle and nonchalant. He's good.
Hankyung starts and stares at him, expression blank with confusion.
Donghae grins blithely. He is subtle like a ninja, he thinks to himself in triumph.
"What are you talking about, Donghae?"
"Sounded like you were pretty into it. Did he tie you up or something?"
Hankyung continues staring at him.
"Blindfolds?" Donghae tries. He wonders briefly if Hankyung understands the words. "Handcuffs?" When he is met again only with Hankyung's incredulous look, he adds desperately, "Siwon?"
Hankyung blinks and blurts out, "What? There's no way you could've heard him, he was-" He stops himself immediately and flushes dark red. Donghae finds himself doing the staring, curious because it is rare to see Hankyung so off-guard and flustered - at least when Heechul isn't around.
Then the implications of Hankyung's words sink in. "Oh. Oh!" he gasps.
Hankyung, Heechul, and Siwon? With Siwon...presumably...gagged?
Suddenly, Donghae feels as if his sex life is indeed most inadequate. He drops his gaze to the notepad in his hands, dismayed.
--
He determines almost immediately that he needs another sample for the survey because Hankyung is in no way representative of standards of the norm, not if he's sleeping with Heechul. As much as Donghae loves Heechul, he hastens to add, then wonders why he bothered, since he's the only one who can hear his own thoughts.
Kyuhyun doesn't look away from his game as Donghae interviews him. It works out for the best because Donghae is fairly certain he's getting honest answers, since Kyuhyun hasn't yet managed to divide his attention away enough from Starcraft to attempt to be sly or misleading.
Donghae starts out with a basic question, because he still hasn't figured this one out.
"Are you sleeping with Sungmin or Zhou Mi?"
Sometimes he thinks it's one, but then he'll see Kyuhyun with the other and all his theories crumple. There is just so much smiling and touching and little flirty comments - everywhere! It's utterly frustrating, being unable to pin one down so he can properly tease Kyuhyun as a good hyung should. He leans forward on his chair, pen poised above his notepad in anticipation of the answer.
Kyuhyun makes a frustrated little noise and clicks his mouse rapidly. "Fuck," he yells, and then says, "Both of them."
Donghae falls off his chair.
--
There's no getting around it, it seems. Donghae is glum as he tosses his notepad back onto his desk and drops back onto his bed to stare at the ceiling. Apparently everyone's sex lives are more interesting than his and Kibum's. And apparently threesomes are the way to go. The new fad. The wave of the future. There will probably be CFs for them soon, filled with cheery models and a catchy tune and lots of bright colors. Everyone wants one!
Donghae thinks about Kibum and thinks about sex and wonders who Kibum might be interested in having a threesome with.
Ten minutes later he's got his hand shoved down his boxers, jeans undone, jerking off frantically as he muffles his moans into his pillow. In his mind, Kibum kisses him deeply, thrusting his tongue into Donghae's mouth in time to the thrusts of his hips. Donghae can feel himself unraveling as heat floods him and he arches off the bed, coming into his hand.
He lies there for a bit, boneless and catching his breath, and wonders if it's possible to share that. Donghae is usually sweepingly generous, particularly with his own feelings, but a selfish part of him doesn't want anyone to touch Kibum, to see him frenzied and out-of-control with desire - imperfect, brooding, hot. No one but him.
Then his mind conjures up the image of Kibum's mouth wrapped around a soft, perky breast, and his fingers stroking between two pale, trembling thighs. Donghae's cock twitches in interest and he buries his face back in the pillow.
He probably needs to talk to Kibum if they're going to have a threesome.
--
"So what kind of girl do you like, Kibummie?"
Donghae offers Kibum a half-grin over his drink and tries not to fidget as Kibum downs the rest of the beer, sets the can on the table, and stares at Donghae.
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"I'm just curious," he says evasively and hurriedly gulps his soju. It is quite possible he's not drunk enough for this conversation. Kibum reaches over and pours him another shot and then refills his own glass. Donghae licks his lips nervously and tries for another smile. "Big chest? Long hair? Long legs, like Kyuhyunnie?"
Kibum gives him a look that is both exasperated and fond. Donghae's heart flips a little bit. Kibum always indulges him, whether he's asking strange questions out of the blue or acting like a hyperactive five year old or giggling over dirty jokes. His socked foot nudges Kibum's under the table and Kibum smiles at him like he can't help it.
"I like long hair. Legs are nice. Chest is nice." He shrugs. "I mean, no preference, really. If she's pretty, she's pretty. It's not like she has to meet specific qualifications."
Donghae isn't sure if that's at all helpful in his quest of narrowing down someone to have a threesome with. In fact, he's fairly certain it's quite the opposite of helpful. Kibum has pretty much eliminated only ugly girls, without giving any criteria for what separates "pretty" from "ugly". So he has really, in point of fact, eliminated no one at all.
"I mean, what about a girl would make you want to sleep with her?" Donghae persists, because he is subtle like a ninja and tenacious like a...tenacious thing.
Kibum's smile fades. "What do you mean?"
"Like, you know. What makes a girl sexually attractive to you?"
"Why are you asking this, Donghae?"
"I just want to know!"
Kibum knocks back his shot without waiting for Donghae. "Are you trying to tell me you're interested in a girl?" He sounds slightly bitter.
Donghae gapes at him. He has no idea where that came from. "No! What? Kibummie!" He flails his hands, because this conversation is not going at all the way he wanted it to. "I just want to know what kind of girl you would want to sleep with! I'm okay with whatever! If you like her, so will I! I promise. I just want it to be good for you." Kibum has to know that Donghae's okay with this, the idea of a threesome. Okay, so he's not thrilled, but for the sake of his and Kibum's relationship, he's willing to compromise. Their sex life needs excitement and spicing up, and Donghae will get them excitement and spicing up, damn it.
Kibum catches one of his flailing hands and holds it tight. "Hyung," he says, "hyung... Are you saying you want... That we should...?"
Donghae makes a face at him. "I just want some excitement and spicing up!" he half-shouts at last, because he will be damned if he lets his and Kibum's relationship go to pieces just because he hasn't tried hard enough.
Kibum's expression becomes unreadable. "I...see."
Donghae links their fingers and sighs. "I hope you do," he pouts. "All those limbs aren't going to be easy to sort out."
--
It comes down to choosing between someone they know and a stranger they'll never know. It's not a hard choice in the end, because someone they know will at least have the wherewithal to keep it quiet.
Donghae is then left with the task of trying to figure out which SNSD member Kibum likes best. He bites his lip and goes to Heechul.
--
Heechul has no idea. "We don't exactly sit around and talk about girls, you know." He ruffles Donghae's hair, grinning. "Yah, I can't believe you guys are actually going to have a threesome. Let me know if you need any tips." He leers a bit.
Donghae moans and buries his face in Heechul's shoulder, clutching at his hyung in his best impression of a limpet. "Shut up, I'm so nervous. I. What if I can't get it up? I'm still not sure if I'm okay with sharing him. What if he wants me to fuck her? Is that better or worse than letting him fuck her?"
Heechul pats his back comfortingly. "I guess it's different when it's all guys. And when all of you want it. Don't cry on my shirt."
Donghae pulls his head back and sets his jaw. "I want it. I do!"
And he does want it. To make Kibum happy, if nothing else. And that was well worth putting up with any anxieties.
--
Kibum has been giving him funny looks lately, like he wants to say something but doesn't know how to. Donghae keeps waiting, but Kibum never says anything. They don't see each other as often as they'd like anyway, because Kibum's filming schedule is hectic and Donghae is still flying back and forth between China and Korea on a weekly basis. He's exhausted and his dreams make him wake up sticky and even more exhausted.
When he catches a free moment alone with Kibum, he can barely find the energy to do more than smile at him and sleep on him. Kibum presses kisses to his mouth softly.
"Are you sure you want," he asks quietly, stroking his hand along Donghae's arm.
Donghae's head fits neatly under Kibum's chin and his eyelids are heavy, but his heart jumps at Kibum's words. "Yes," he says decisively. "Yes, I do. I'm sure." He won't let Kibum doubt him. He has to let Kibum know that it's okay with him.
Kibum kisses him again and sighs, "All right," into his mouth.
--
Donghae ends up asking Yuri because she's beautiful, glamorous, and open-minded. She is also completely inexplicable in the way of all women, Donghae realizes, as she laughs at him and says that he's asking the wrong girl. "I promise I'll find you someone," she tells him, and he believes her, but now he's regretting trusting her at all.
In no world can it be a good idea to ask your ex-girlfriend to participate in a threesome with your boyfriend. Particularly a threesome that might involve Kibum touching Jessica. Or Jessica touching Kibum. And Donghae having to watch.
"Why did you even agree to this?" Donghae demands of her as he manfully resists the urges to strangle Yuri, lock Jessica into a closet well out of Kibum's reach, or cry.
She just smiles at him, far more nonchalant than he could ever hope to achieve. "You're hot. He's hot. Sex is hot." Her delicate brow arches in a blatant question: how could the combination thereof be anything less than Awesome?
For all that they broke up due to their differences, Donghae sometimes finds that Jessica's code - and her logic, in particular - matches too exactly to his.
To say that this is going to be the most awkward threesome in history is probably understating it. Donghae is gloomy for the rest of the week, listening to depressing songs on his iPod and ignoring the questioning looks Henry and Ryeowook give him.
--
"Um," says Donghae as he holds Kibum's hips down and laps at his throat. "Can we&mdash? Um, how about, next week? Friday? Here."
Kibum moans and the sound vibrates against Donghae's lips, sending tingles down his spine. "Yes," Kibum says, "yes, yes, that's fine, Donghae." He fumbles with unsteady hands to pull Donghae closer, and that is the end of conversation.
--
Minho is sitting on the edge of Kibum's bed, long legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankles. Donghae is almost always happy to see him - but this is one of the rare occasions where he'd rather not. In fact, he's not sure what Minho's doing here at all.
"Hi Minho," Jessica says from beside him, smiling.
"Noona," he says and dips his head. He's giving her a weighing look, as if he's trying to figure something out. Jessica tugs on Donghae's sleeve and hisses into his ear,
"What's he doing here? I didn't agree to a foursome. I mean, sure, he's pretty, but you can't just spring these things on me, oppa."
Donghae will never understand women. "I don't know! I didn't invite him! I didn't invite you." He abandons her to Minho's quizzical look and flees the bedroom in search of Kibum. He finds him in the bathroom, topless and wearing only a pair of low-slung jeans. Kibum's leaning over the counter, arms spread and hands gripping the edges with his head bowed. Donghae's mouth goes dry as he takes in the broad expanse of Kibum's back, smooth skin shifting as Kibum sighs and stands back.
Their eyes meet in the mirror.
"Donghae," Kibum says and turns around. His expression is slightly strained, but there's a soft look in his eyes.
Donghae's stomach dips in anxiety. "I. Hi." He swallows hard.
"Are you okay?"
No, Donghae wants to shout. I want our sex life to be exciting but I don't want to share you. I want to keep you to myself. I want to touch you all over. I want love you forever. He runs a hand nervously through his hair, tongue wetting his lips. "What is Minho doing here?" he finally asks.
Kibum stares at him. "...I thought, that is, weren't we going to- I mean. You said you wanted to-"
"I, yes, yes!" Donghae hurries to reassure him. "I'm not backing out! We can still do it. Totally! I just...thought..." He trails off nervously, unsure of where they had gotten their wires crossed. Had Kibum wanted to sleep with Minho? And here Donghae thought all along that their third would be a girl! Was he wrong in assuming that? Should he not have? He panics slightly. Siwon, Hankyung, and Heechul were all guys. Kyuhyun, Zhou Mi, and Sungmin were all guys... Maybe he has fucked up.
He turns wide, worried eyes on Kibum. "I brought Jessica," he says lamely.
Kibum looks like he's just been socked in the solar plexus. "Jessica? You want to sleep with-" He breaks off, shaking his head. "Jesus, Donghae, if you'd wanted to get back with her, you could've just said so! I...would've let you go."
It's like all the air rushes out of Donghae's lungs at once.
"What are you talking about?"
"Is that all this threesome talk was about, hyung?" Kibum's voice is low and steady. "You just wanted an excuse to sleep with her again?"
Donghae's mouth opens and closes soundlessly. He doesn't even know how to begin answering that. "No," he finally bursts out. "No! How the hell did you get that idea, Kibummie? Why would you think that? I don't even want her to be here - Yuri shoved her at me!" He can hear his voice rising in agitation, his accent becoming more pronounced as he continues babbling. "What the fuck? I thought you wanted- Everyone is- I didn't want you to get bored."
Kibum stares.
"I thought you wanted a threesome!" Donghae shouts.
"I thought you wanted a threesome!"
"That's why Jessica is here!"
"That's why Minho is here. I - I thought you'd want to do it with someone, I mean, you seem to love him. Since apparently I'm not good enough."
Donghae feels like tearing his hair out. "What? What? When did I ever say that?"
"You seemed to want a threesome so badly. I didn't think I was that bad in bed." Kibum crosses his arms and glares. "You seemed to enjoy yourself, but maybe you were just faking."
His boyfriend is crazy. There's no getting around it. "I do enjoy myself," he snaps back. "I enjoy the fucking hell out of everything we do. The only reason I was asking for a threesome is so you wouldn't think our sex life is boring and, like, leave me!" He tries not to wince at the last bit there, holding onto his indignation and not the part of him terrified of what he would ever do if Kibum stopped wanting him. He will tie himself up with a purple feather boa and try out any number of battery-operated toys if that's what it takes to keep Kibum around.
Kibum doesn't look like he wants to leave Donghae; rather, he looks like he wants to grab Donghae and shake some sense into him. He visibly restrains himself. "When did I ever say our sex life was boring?" he asks at last. "What gave you that idea?"
The anger drains out of him. Donghae sags against the bathroom wall, uncertainty blooming.
"We never...do anything kinky. Like, not even phone sex... And everyone else is having threesomes, I thought maybe we should too..."
"Oh Donghae," is all Kibum says.
"I just don't want you to get bored of me," Donghae tells the floor.
Kibum reaches out and grasps him by the shoulders. His hands are big and warm, slightly dry, as he pulls Donghae close and wraps his arms around him. "Hyung," he breathes into Donghae's hair, "whoever put that idea into your head is an idiot." He doesn't say anything else - no further confessions of feelings that Kibum has always struggled to express verbally. He doesn't need to. Donghae has learned to read Kibum over the years and the way Kibum is looking at him, holding him, speaks volumes more.
It seems like he's the one who's been a bit of an idiot. "You like our sex life?" he asks hesitantly, just to check. "Just the way it is?"
Kibum raises an eyebrow and it is lucky that Donghae has mastered the art of deciphering the language of the brows, because it seems like everyone is speaking it lately. Kibum's reads: It's you. It's sex.
Donghae finds himself smiling foolishly. "It is all sorts of Awesome," he murmurs and kisses Kibum. He has always thought so.
Two minutes later, he detaches his mouth from Kibum's, panting a little. "So this means I don't have to share, right?" Because this has been eating away at him for a while. Donghae still feels guilty about it but it's Kibum. Donghae doesn't mind if other people look - everyone should appreciate how hot Kibum is - but oh he does hate the idea of anyone else getting to touch.
Particularly Jessica, who looked far too pleased at the prospect.
And as much as Donghae loves the kid, Minho is really too much of a slut to trust. Who knows where he's been?
Kibum laughs softly at Donghae's question and rocks their hips together suggestively in response. "No sharing," he confirms, eyes flashing dark and intent. Donghae moans and grabs the back of Kibum's neck, jerking him forward into another kiss.
They don't make it out of the bathroom.
--
Half an hour later, they're dripping water on the floor as they finally re-enter the bedroom. They ended up in the shower to clean up and now Donghae is back in his jeans, commando, because he really didn't want to put on dirty underwear. His black t-shirt is snug and slightly damp. Kibum is back in his jeans as well, still shirtless but now with a towel draped around his neck. Donghae kind of wants to lick off the droplets of water sliding down his throat.
There is nothing, he is quite happy to report, at all wrong with their sex life. It is quite healthy, active, and plenty goddammned exciting.
"You're an idiot," Kibum tells him affectionately.
"I was willing to tie myself up with a purple feather boa and let you do whatever you wanted to me," Donghae says cheerfully in the spirit of full disclosure.
"That was something I could've lived my entire life without hearing," Minho says dryly.
Donghae and Kibum stop just inside the bedroom. They'd forgotten about their...guests. Minho is sitting cross-legged on the bed, one arm extended and hand held in Jessica's. She's painting his nails. Minho doesn't look bothered.
"I'm guessing we're not doing the threesome anymore?" Jessica doesn't sound particularly upset. "I told Minho we could've just left earlier but this works too." She holds out Minho's hand for their inspection, smiling with a satisfied air at the pearl pink gracing his nails. "Once his nails dry we're going out for coffee."
"Great?" Donghae ventures. Inside, he is reeling at the thought of his favorite dongsaeng going out with his ex-girlfriend. It is, he decides at last, infinitely preferable to his boyfriend sleeping with his ex-girlfriend. Donghae breaks out into a grin. "Great! I'm glad you hit it off! Your nails look great, Minho!"
Jessica laughs at him like she knows exactly what he's thinking. Minho smiles a little too.
"Too bad though," he remarks. "I was looking forward to making hyung scream."
Kibum's killing look speaks volumes as he loops an arm around Donghae's waist. "Feel free to leave anytime."
Minho's smile widens into a smirk. "Oh I didn't mean Donghae-hyung. I've already made him scream. I meant you."
"It's not like that!" Donghae yelps immediately. "I was being tickled!"
Kibum looks at him speculatively and then the corner of his mouth lifts. Donghae gets a sinking feeling in his stomach just as Kibum attacks, fingers reaching out to tickle any part of Donghae he can reach - and he can reach quite a bit considering Donghae is pressed up against him.
Donghae yelps again and wriggles away, laughing as he backs into the bed and tumbling onto it, narrowly missing Jessica. She exclaims in surprise as Kibum follows him, eliciting shouts and helpless giggles. At some point, Minho's hands end up on him too, teasing the sensitive skin of his underarm. And then Jessica, using all the unfair knowledge of an ex, gets him right behind the knees, which makes him jerk and flop around on the bed like a fish out of water, gasping for air between gales of laughter.
"Stop! This - isn't - fair!" He manages to get a hold of Kibum's hair, sliding his hand into the wet locks to cup the back of his head. "Kibummie!" he protests, nipping at Kibum's lower lip. Kibum's laughter puffs against his mouth.
Donghae is only dimly aware of Jessica and Minho removing themselves rapidly from the bed and then from the room. "Nothing more awkward than watching your ex-boyfriend start getting it on with his current boyfriend," he overhears Jessica telling Minho cheerfully. "Coffee? Your treat."
But Kibum's mouth is warm against his jaw, his ear, and Donghae is finally catching his breath again. He lets his consciousness narrow down to only Kibum, his long lashes and his damp breath and the curve of his bare shoulder in Donghae's vision. He sighs. There is nothing he wants right now except Kibum...and that's something he's had for a while now. He shouldn't have let Eunhyuk's comment get to him. Donghae has everything he needs, familiar and comforting, exciting and breath-stealing, all in Kibum.
--
You're an idiot and watch too much porn! >:(( Donghae texts Eunhyuk.
유-유??? is the reply.
My sex life is waaaay more exciting than yours will ever be!!
After a moment's consideration, Donghae adds six other recipients to the text before pressing send.
Eunhyuk is the first to respond. TMI!!!!!!!
Heechul's only sends back a series of "kekeke"s. Siwon and Hankyung don't respond.
Zhou Mi's text is laughingly formal for what it is attempting to express, which is, in essence: Why are we even comparing this??
From Kyuhyun: Pics or it didn't happen.
The best text is definitely Sungmin's though, which ironically follows immediately after Kyuhyun's. He sends a picture of Kyuhyun in his Gee wig and a skirt, with Zhou Mi caught halfway into the frame armed with an oversized make-up case.
Donghae is torn between laughing and being grateful that his sex life is exciting in a hot way, and not in a faintly disturbing way. Still, he keeps the photo for future blackmail purposes. And very carefully does not think about Kibum in a skirt.
--
"Of course, we can always try phone sex or handcuffs if you'd like. I'm not opposed to spicing up our sex life, as long as it's just us." Donghae can practically hear Kibum's smirk through the phone. What a bastard. He knows there's nothing Donghae can do about it, being in China.
Donghae thinks about it for a bit, squirms in his seat, and says casually, "So I was thinking about getting a nipple piercing."
He hears the sudden roughness of Kibum's breath and grins victoriously.
He is obviously a pro at spicing up the sex life. No threesome needed!
Donghae considers awarding himself a gold star for his proficiency at subtlety, tenacity, and outright awesome.
--
Started: 2009.01.11
Finished: 2009.01.12