Litany (in which certain things are crossed out) [3/8]
Chapter 1: http://chimerari.livejournal.com/22336.html
Chapter 2: http://chimerari.livejournal.com/22696.html
Shou takes them to all the forgotten towns, the ones where you can chat up the waitresses and get free apple pies; the ones that don’t attract trouble and don’t go look for them either.
The ones where they could drift in and out without people asking too many questions.
It’s freeing, driving from one place to another, just a nameless stranger. For as long as he could remember Shou has lived here and there, for months at a time, doing odd jobs, some legal some not. The road has always been in his bones.
Travelling with someone else though, that’s new.
It’s not the most convenient thing in the world. Small matters like personal space suddenly become more apparent, and really fucking annoying at times. After countless mornings and afternoons stuck in a tight space, it’s like the theatre of too much information--- the abrupt, overwhelming awareness that no one’s showered in the last week; or that they really should have stayed away from beans at lunch time. It’s disturbing, to say the least, when you become that well acquainted with someone else’s bodily function.
They can go on for days without bumping into another human being, let alone a working bathroom. One time Tora comes looking because Shou is apparently, taking too long in there. Shou barely has time to wash the stickiness off his hand, feeling like an awkward teenager being caught by his clueless sibling. Shou’s just glad that he’s at least alone in there, or he’ll have one hell of an explanation to give.
Naturally, Tora needs to be educated on the cardinal sin of interrupting a man and his down time.
More often than not, they end up camping out at night. Where there is nothing around them but miles and miles of bare ground, and the occasional foxes with shrewd eyes passing through. Tora gives him betrayed looks when Shou claims the backseat all to himself and leave Tora to sleep propped up at the front. But hey, not as if Tora can fit horizontally into the car by any stretch of imagination, that’s Shou’s theory and he’s sticking to it.
He still sleeps in bouts and fits, snaps awake every couple of hours, ears perked and eyes darting around him---his body going into defence mode whenever he’s in an unfamiliar environment. Tora, on the other hand, slumbers away peacefully throughout the night, not even a twitch. Shou sometimes wonders if Tora dreams at all, or if his brain tries to compensate at night, filling in the large chunks of blank in his life.
Either way, Shou envies him for it.
Hindsight is the worst indulgence a man can have -
He thinks about it, just getting in the car and drive away without Tora.
There is no good reason for two of them to stick together; Tora is hardly a useful partner in crime. Without him, Shou could move faster, squirrel a bit more money away, maybe move into the cities and lay low for a while.
All he needs to do is to walk away.
On the other hand, it’s a lonely business, being on the run. Having someone to talk to is a welcome relief; even if Tora hardly contributes more to a conversation than the sky overhead. He at least appears to listen. Shou doesn’t know how much he actually understands, but that’s not the point. The point is being able to turn around and say dude, did you see that, while you’re stuck on an endless stretch of road, chasing the sun.
He’s still thinking about it a month later, while he’s smiling that particular smile at the curvy redhead who works at the bar. The smile that gets him free shots from bartenders up and down the country, this one included. She’s not stingy with her pour, and Shou is getting pleasantly buzzed; the air around him turning nectar-heavy and just the right side of too warm. His eyes start to linger at where her hair spills over the V of her top---she’s not wearing a bra---maybe he should ask what time she gets off, hmmm, gets off, fancy that.
‘Abandoned by your friend already?’
Shou replies intelligently, ‘Huh?’
She juts out her chin; Shou turns to look at where she’s pointing. Sure enough, the spot next to him is empty. And he’s pretty sure Tora was there to start with.
‘Nature’s call, maybe?’
‘For the last half an hour?’ She lifts one sculpted eyebrow.
‘Hey, a man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.’
Shou frowns inwardly. Then decides whatever, he ain’t no babysitter, Tora can take care of himself for one goddamn night.
5 minutes later he’s peering into the bathroom, blinking away the harsh florescent lights. One stall is closed; he taps on it once and gets a heart-felt fuck off in return. Okay, not Tora then.
He checks the dingy hallway, none, nada, nothing but his own swaying shadow.
Weird. Maybe he’s gone outside for some fresh air?
The one lone lamp next to the bar entrance flickers. Shou spots the car easily, no sign of Tora.
He doubts he’s had that much to drink, but he can feel the beginning of a headache growing behind his eyes like a physical thing, so he ends up informing the lamp of all the physical harm he’s going to inflict on Tora, slowly and painfully, as soon as he finds him.
Christ in a bucket, as if he doesn’t have enough problems already. Shou flails about for the door handle and gives it a violent jerk, Damn morons and their complete lack of common sense.
The car streaks out of the parking lot like a scolded cat.
He’s so lost in the thoughts running through his head (kidnapped, got lost, knifed in the gut by a druggie), when a figure appears, whited out in the glare of his headlights. Automatically, Shou slams on the brakes and spins the wheel, the back end of the Mustang fishtailing on the sandy road.
"What the fuck, man?" Shou hollers, leaping from the car and stalking over to the figure in three quick strides (who else would stand in the middle of a dark, desolate road?). He grabs a fistful of Tora’s shirt and takes a wild swing. It connects with a dull thud, Tora stumbles sideways, face shadowed.
They’re both breathing heavily by the time they lock eyes. Shou flexes his fingers, unsure of what to do next. He is shaken and enraged, overwhelmed by the fact this person, this stranger he went through the trouble of smuggling out, could so carelessly wander off without so much as a by your leave.
This is beyond un-fucking-grateful. This is...Shou pulls him in by the lapel and shakes him once, hard.
‘The hell do you think you’re doing?!’
Tora stares back with dark eyes, he looks uncertain, almost confused. A bruise already forming along his left cheek. Shou throws his hands up,
‘Son of a--, do you ever think? With that thing between your ears? Don’t answer that, of course you don’t.’ He starts pacing; Tora gawps like he’s from another planet, unaccustomed to all these earthling emotions. Which, he sort of is, ha bloody ha.
The silence just pours gasoline on Shou’s temper; He takes one more step towards Tora, who doesn’t even have the wits to back away in self-protection. Shou can feel the tension coiling up; some part of him really wants to work it loose on Tora’s stupid face.
In the end he snaps,
‘Get in the damn car.’
Tora does.
Shou throws himself into the driver’s seat angrily, and Tora has to scramble for purchase before Shou peels out, tires shrieking.
He goes through the gears in exactly 30 mile increments, at 120 he can’t even feel the road beneath him anymore, just his heart pushing against his ribcage.
Tora’s face is white, well, whiter than usual when they eventually slow down. Shou breathes out a whistling sign.
‘Okay, okay, next time, if, I don’t know, the little voices in your head tell you to go somewhere, tell me first.’
He doesn’t wait for an answer, just snatches up his tooth brush and storms off.
Before Shou falls into an exhausted sleep that night, he thinks he might have heard a hesitant sorry from the front seat.
Or it could be the residual alcohol talking.
The first time they stay at a motel posh enough to have a working TV, the little talking box almost freaks Tora out.
Shou comes back from food hunt to find Tora desperately trying to open the TV up, lines of frustration showing on his forehead.
He hasn’t laughed that much in a long time.
Later, when he’s still wheezing, Shou reassures him in between fresh bouts of giggles that no, there are no thumb-sized humans trapped inside, Tora’s conscience is clear.
Tora doesn’t look convinced, but he’s successfully distracted by the wonders of glazed donuts.
It’s the small things that fascinate him, like that one time, a butterfly lands on his right knee when they’re sitting shoulder to shoulder in a grassy field. Shou snorts, saying something about the poor bug mistaking Tora for a flower. Tora just keeps absolutely still, even his breathing starts to come in little shallow puffs. His fingers twitch in his lap, wanting to reach out but not daring to risk it.
It flutters away after a while, a little dot of colour drifting up and up. Tora follows it with his eyes, mouth slightly ajar.
Shou senses disappointment in the ensuring silence, he coughs awkwardly, and pats him on the shoulder.
‘Dude, it’s a butterfly, they don’t make for good pets, yeah?’
Tora looks over, mouthing the word silently. Shou grins, ‘Buuutterfly, yep, all the little girls love them. Come on princess, we’ll find you a pony next, how’s that?’
At this rate, it won’t be long before Shou can write a whole book on How to Reintroduce Aliens into Human society.
It gets frustrating at times though; there are things one simply cannot explain to an outsider, not with words anyways. Like the sunset reflected off the top of a skyscraper like the vibration of a motorbike underneath your skin, like the feel of another body moving against your own, whether in violence or passion, the same rush of heat it brings.
You can’t explain any of that if you haven’t lived it.
A/N: My computer came back to me yesterday, and guess what? the screen was cracked by the delivery company...;;_;; so now I'll have to wait for them to collect it again and sends it away for repair...
in the mean time, thank god for school libraries, the local library can't process word document for some reason, so I have to jump on a bus every time I want to get some work done
Chapter 2: http://chimerari.livejournal.com/22696.html
Shou takes them to all the forgotten towns, the ones where you can chat up the waitresses and get free apple pies; the ones that don’t attract trouble and don’t go look for them either.
The ones where they could drift in and out without people asking too many questions.
It’s freeing, driving from one place to another, just a nameless stranger. For as long as he could remember Shou has lived here and there, for months at a time, doing odd jobs, some legal some not. The road has always been in his bones.
Travelling with someone else though, that’s new.
It’s not the most convenient thing in the world. Small matters like personal space suddenly become more apparent, and really fucking annoying at times. After countless mornings and afternoons stuck in a tight space, it’s like the theatre of too much information--- the abrupt, overwhelming awareness that no one’s showered in the last week; or that they really should have stayed away from beans at lunch time. It’s disturbing, to say the least, when you become that well acquainted with someone else’s bodily function.
They can go on for days without bumping into another human being, let alone a working bathroom. One time Tora comes looking because Shou is apparently, taking too long in there. Shou barely has time to wash the stickiness off his hand, feeling like an awkward teenager being caught by his clueless sibling. Shou’s just glad that he’s at least alone in there, or he’ll have one hell of an explanation to give.
Naturally, Tora needs to be educated on the cardinal sin of interrupting a man and his down time.
More often than not, they end up camping out at night. Where there is nothing around them but miles and miles of bare ground, and the occasional foxes with shrewd eyes passing through. Tora gives him betrayed looks when Shou claims the backseat all to himself and leave Tora to sleep propped up at the front. But hey, not as if Tora can fit horizontally into the car by any stretch of imagination, that’s Shou’s theory and he’s sticking to it.
He still sleeps in bouts and fits, snaps awake every couple of hours, ears perked and eyes darting around him---his body going into defence mode whenever he’s in an unfamiliar environment. Tora, on the other hand, slumbers away peacefully throughout the night, not even a twitch. Shou sometimes wonders if Tora dreams at all, or if his brain tries to compensate at night, filling in the large chunks of blank in his life.
Either way, Shou envies him for it.
Hindsight is the worst indulgence a man can have -
He thinks about it, just getting in the car and drive away without Tora.
There is no good reason for two of them to stick together; Tora is hardly a useful partner in crime. Without him, Shou could move faster, squirrel a bit more money away, maybe move into the cities and lay low for a while.
All he needs to do is to walk away.
On the other hand, it’s a lonely business, being on the run. Having someone to talk to is a welcome relief; even if Tora hardly contributes more to a conversation than the sky overhead. He at least appears to listen. Shou doesn’t know how much he actually understands, but that’s not the point. The point is being able to turn around and say dude, did you see that, while you’re stuck on an endless stretch of road, chasing the sun.
He’s still thinking about it a month later, while he’s smiling that particular smile at the curvy redhead who works at the bar. The smile that gets him free shots from bartenders up and down the country, this one included. She’s not stingy with her pour, and Shou is getting pleasantly buzzed; the air around him turning nectar-heavy and just the right side of too warm. His eyes start to linger at where her hair spills over the V of her top---she’s not wearing a bra---maybe he should ask what time she gets off, hmmm, gets off, fancy that.
‘Abandoned by your friend already?’
Shou replies intelligently, ‘Huh?’
She juts out her chin; Shou turns to look at where she’s pointing. Sure enough, the spot next to him is empty. And he’s pretty sure Tora was there to start with.
‘Nature’s call, maybe?’
‘For the last half an hour?’ She lifts one sculpted eyebrow.
‘Hey, a man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do.’
Shou frowns inwardly. Then decides whatever, he ain’t no babysitter, Tora can take care of himself for one goddamn night.
5 minutes later he’s peering into the bathroom, blinking away the harsh florescent lights. One stall is closed; he taps on it once and gets a heart-felt fuck off in return. Okay, not Tora then.
He checks the dingy hallway, none, nada, nothing but his own swaying shadow.
Weird. Maybe he’s gone outside for some fresh air?
The one lone lamp next to the bar entrance flickers. Shou spots the car easily, no sign of Tora.
He doubts he’s had that much to drink, but he can feel the beginning of a headache growing behind his eyes like a physical thing, so he ends up informing the lamp of all the physical harm he’s going to inflict on Tora, slowly and painfully, as soon as he finds him.
Christ in a bucket, as if he doesn’t have enough problems already. Shou flails about for the door handle and gives it a violent jerk, Damn morons and their complete lack of common sense.
The car streaks out of the parking lot like a scolded cat.
He’s so lost in the thoughts running through his head (kidnapped, got lost, knifed in the gut by a druggie), when a figure appears, whited out in the glare of his headlights. Automatically, Shou slams on the brakes and spins the wheel, the back end of the Mustang fishtailing on the sandy road.
"What the fuck, man?" Shou hollers, leaping from the car and stalking over to the figure in three quick strides (who else would stand in the middle of a dark, desolate road?). He grabs a fistful of Tora’s shirt and takes a wild swing. It connects with a dull thud, Tora stumbles sideways, face shadowed.
They’re both breathing heavily by the time they lock eyes. Shou flexes his fingers, unsure of what to do next. He is shaken and enraged, overwhelmed by the fact this person, this stranger he went through the trouble of smuggling out, could so carelessly wander off without so much as a by your leave.
This is beyond un-fucking-grateful. This is...Shou pulls him in by the lapel and shakes him once, hard.
‘The hell do you think you’re doing?!’
Tora stares back with dark eyes, he looks uncertain, almost confused. A bruise already forming along his left cheek. Shou throws his hands up,
‘Son of a--, do you ever think? With that thing between your ears? Don’t answer that, of course you don’t.’ He starts pacing; Tora gawps like he’s from another planet, unaccustomed to all these earthling emotions. Which, he sort of is, ha bloody ha.
The silence just pours gasoline on Shou’s temper; He takes one more step towards Tora, who doesn’t even have the wits to back away in self-protection. Shou can feel the tension coiling up; some part of him really wants to work it loose on Tora’s stupid face.
In the end he snaps,
‘Get in the damn car.’
Tora does.
Shou throws himself into the driver’s seat angrily, and Tora has to scramble for purchase before Shou peels out, tires shrieking.
He goes through the gears in exactly 30 mile increments, at 120 he can’t even feel the road beneath him anymore, just his heart pushing against his ribcage.
Tora’s face is white, well, whiter than usual when they eventually slow down. Shou breathes out a whistling sign.
‘Okay, okay, next time, if, I don’t know, the little voices in your head tell you to go somewhere, tell me first.’
He doesn’t wait for an answer, just snatches up his tooth brush and storms off.
Before Shou falls into an exhausted sleep that night, he thinks he might have heard a hesitant sorry from the front seat.
Or it could be the residual alcohol talking.
The first time they stay at a motel posh enough to have a working TV, the little talking box almost freaks Tora out.
Shou comes back from food hunt to find Tora desperately trying to open the TV up, lines of frustration showing on his forehead.
He hasn’t laughed that much in a long time.
Later, when he’s still wheezing, Shou reassures him in between fresh bouts of giggles that no, there are no thumb-sized humans trapped inside, Tora’s conscience is clear.
Tora doesn’t look convinced, but he’s successfully distracted by the wonders of glazed donuts.
It’s the small things that fascinate him, like that one time, a butterfly lands on his right knee when they’re sitting shoulder to shoulder in a grassy field. Shou snorts, saying something about the poor bug mistaking Tora for a flower. Tora just keeps absolutely still, even his breathing starts to come in little shallow puffs. His fingers twitch in his lap, wanting to reach out but not daring to risk it.
It flutters away after a while, a little dot of colour drifting up and up. Tora follows it with his eyes, mouth slightly ajar.
Shou senses disappointment in the ensuring silence, he coughs awkwardly, and pats him on the shoulder.
‘Dude, it’s a butterfly, they don’t make for good pets, yeah?’
Tora looks over, mouthing the word silently. Shou grins, ‘Buuutterfly, yep, all the little girls love them. Come on princess, we’ll find you a pony next, how’s that?’
At this rate, it won’t be long before Shou can write a whole book on How to Reintroduce Aliens into Human society.
It gets frustrating at times though; there are things one simply cannot explain to an outsider, not with words anyways. Like the sunset reflected off the top of a skyscraper like the vibration of a motorbike underneath your skin, like the feel of another body moving against your own, whether in violence or passion, the same rush of heat it brings.
You can’t explain any of that if you haven’t lived it.
A/N: My computer came back to me yesterday, and guess what? the screen was cracked by the delivery company...;;_;; so now I'll have to wait for them to collect it again and sends it away for repair...
in the mean time, thank god for school libraries, the local library can't process word document for some reason, so I have to jump on a bus every time I want to get some work done