Indirect Confession
Title: Indirect Confession
Author: Viv
Genre: romance/drama/fluff
Rating: PG
Fandom: Slam Dunk book - manga
Pairing: Ruhana
Disclaimer: I just wish.
Summary: “What’s wrong, kitsune?” [standalone. Set during Rukawa and Sakuragi’s second year at Shohoku.]
It was rather strange, wasn’t it?
You and him alone in the gym, after an exhausting after-school practice, and not fighting though no one was there to prevent the two of you from doing so.
While everyone else had barely left only a few minutes earlier, he was already standing over you, scowling down at your slumped form on the floor.
There was silence. Complete and utter silence.
And then you slowly stood up and turned your back to him, quietly walking away towards the locker room.
He didn’t take long to follow you.
“Oi! What’s your problem?”
What was your problem?
What were you supposed to answer to that? That lately, you hadn’t been able to concentrate on the game? That lately, you had a hard time sleeping? That lately, all you could think of was him?
That he was the problem?
Shit, no, that couldn’t be.
You opened your locker, refusing to answer - it’s not as if you could anyway - as you took out a towel and wiped the sweat off of your face and neck before sitting down on the bench behind you. Your face tilted forward and when you felt his gaze settling back on you, your eyes fell shut.
“What’s wrong, kitsune?”
His time his voice seemed to have lost its earlier harshness and suddenly you felt a warm presence settling down beside you.
“Rukawa? What it is?”
“Why do you care?”
Nothing answered your question.
Finally you reopened your steel blue eyes and looked at him, your voice cold and - what was that - scornful?
“Why do you care?”
You watched on as your teammate looked away, frowning.
“I don’t. But you’ve been missing most of your shots and got smacked a few times by the ball. Your defence has been weak too! Ryocchin and me are usually currently the only ones to be able to go through you but this week even the first years had no problem at all. You’re always distracted and tired. Youhei, Kuwata, Haruko-san and I’ve also been watching you in class. Everyone’s quite surprised that you’re awake now and- ”
“Why do you care?”
“I just said I don’t! It’s just that you’re part of this team and Ryocchin is our captain and one of my closest friends. He has enough things to worry about as it is and I don’t want you to become a burden to him.”
“So- ”
“And you’re part of this team and as much as the tensai hates to say this, the team needs you. The first years look up to us and Ryocchin, Kaku, Shioza, Yasu, Sasa, Ishii, Kuwa and even Ayako-san, Haruko-san and especially the old man are counting on the two of us to take Shohoku to the Interhigh finals again this year. That means you being concentrated when we play basketball.”
You didn’t reply.
“Look, I already told you I don’t care about you. But I do care about the team and we all have the same dream. I don’t want us to lose everything we’ve done so far because of a stupid kitsune who can’t play anymore...”
Your heart made a painful ‘thump’ as you watched as the redhead standing up and heading for his locker before you lowered your gaze back to the floor. Sakuragi grabbed his bag and turned to leave.
“My grandfather gave me a basketball when I was seven, for my birthday. He was the one who taught me how to play.”
You felt, rather than saw, your red-headed rival pause at the door, his back still to you. Still, you knew you had all of his attention.
“He’d come to pick me up each day after school and would take me to a public court nearby. We’d play for two hours before coming home. My dad would then scowl grandfather for taking away some of my precious time to study. I knew dad was only half-serious though, he just thought I was too spoiled by his family.”
Your smile was brief and bittersweet, and you still refused to look at the other boy.
“When I was twelve... we found out grandfather had cancer and was terminally ill. He had known for a few years but had kept it to himself. Only grandmother knew about it. He fainted when we were on our way to the court and was rushed to the hospital. That’s how we found out. He passed away when I was thirteen, a week after he had seen me play in my ‘real’ first match ever. I was an average player, but he was still proud of me.
“After grandfather died, dad and mom both encouraged me to keep playing basketball for my grandfather. Even my mom’s parents and grandmother insisted I continue. I had wanted to quit, but my mom took over for grandfather and took me to the court and helped me trained whenever I had no afterschool training. Dad took me on the week-ends. I think that’s when I learned to love basketball.
“So then I trained as much as I could to become the best player on the court. I dedicated myself completely to basketball and nothing else. I guess that’s when I became quite… antisocial. Ayako-sempai was on the girls’ team of our school back then and was always teasing me for distracting her teammates. I still don’t know why though.”
At that you frowned before shaking your head.
“I became captain of the team on my last year. I knew then that I was on the right path. My teammates looked up at me, even if I completely lacked of social skills. My family kept supporting me and my parents attended all my games until- until- ”
Your voice suddenly broke and your hands fisted themselves as you tried to keep yourself from shaking.
A warm hand dropped on your shoulder and your eyes, hidden by dark bangs, widened briefly. You looked up to find Sakuragi sitting beside you again, staring straight ahead.
He quickly pulled his hand away and you looked down at your clenched hands on your knees.
Your heart had almost flown out of your chest for a moment.
“My parents were in a car crash the summer before I entered Shohoku,” you whispered, “Dad died instantly. My mom died the next day in the hospital. I saw her slip away under my very own eyes. I couldn’t do anything. Not a thing. I was an orphan at fifteen.
“I came to Shohoku because this is where my grandfather attended school. I lived with dad’s sister during my first year here. Then I moved out after right after the interhigh last summer. It turns out my parents had set a bank account for me when I was one year old and had saved up quite a small fortune for me, with my grandparents on both sides regularly adding to the savings over the years. All the money that I had received as gifts for birthdays and holidays were also there.
“I didn’t want to become a burden to my aunt and her family so I found myself an apartment before leaving for the All-Japan training camp. Still, the entire family made me promise to keep them updated at least weekly.”
You shook your head, grinning inwardly at yourself.
“And you know what? Even though I had realized that I had fallen in love with basketball when I was thirteen, it wasn’t until my first year at Shohoku, during our game against Kainan, that I had realized how much more basketball meant to me. Basketball was my life, my life.”
Sakuragi remained quiet for a moment, and then let out a confused sigh.
“Why are you telling me all of this?”
Your mouth opened but nothing came out.
You closed it when it hit you; you didn’t know.
“And what do you mean, basketball was your life? Isn’t it still is, kitsune?”
Your brain still refused to give you a proper answer, for you had not even realized your use of past tense right there.
You had no idea why you had basically told him the story of your life. Why him of all people. You hadn’t known what you had wanted to accomplish by telling him all of this.
And so you said the only thing that came to mind.
“Do’ahou.”
“Rukawa! Why you- ”
“I don’t know.”
“… What?”
You looked up at the soft tone of his voice and were startled to find yourself staring into deep chocolate orbs. A flicker of worry seemed to glint in his warm eyes and your breath caught in your throat.
‘So… beautiful. Do’ahou, don’t you know this is only your fault that I keep doubting myself now?’
You froze at your train of thoughts.
And suddenly, you knew. You knew what this all meant.
The way your eyes would stray in his direction before each shot you made, the way his loud and bordering-on-lunatic laugh distracted you, how his smiles made your heartbeat accelerate and how your breath caught in your throat at just the sight of him sweating in a game.
You knew why you had confided in him.
You finally knew where you were heading, what you were trying to say.
“Kitsune! Say something!”
“I think I’ve just realized something else.”
“And?”
“Basketball was my life. And it probably still is.”
“Tell me something the tensai doesn’t know.”
You voice lowered to a murmur.
“If I had to choose between basketball and you, then I would give up on basketball.”
“Give on up basketball? Kitsune! You can’t think of- Wait…”
The redhead’s eyes widened adorably in disbelief and he started stuttering.
“To choose between basketball and me… you’d give up on basketball… so that would mean… me?”
You nodded.
“You mean…”
“Do’ahou.”
A soft blush appeared on his cheeks and you couldn’t help but look on fondly at your companion. Nothing answered you for a moment.
His reply came out in a low voice.
“I never had the chance to know my mother. She passed away when I was two. And my dad passed away from a heart attack. It was my fault… Had I called for an ambulance instead of running to the clinic and gotten ambushed by a gang, he would have most probably been alive today. I was thirteen when I became an orphan.”
A sad, bitter smile graced his lips.
“The only family I had was my dad’s parents. Grandpa took care of selling the house I lived in and grandma found me an apartment so that I could continue my life here, because they lived in Tokyo. They regularly deposit money in a bank account at my name so that I can live comfortably enough.
“Grandma told me that dad had started saving up some money for me the day he had learned that my mom was pregnant with me. Apparently it’s quite a large sum, with grandpa and an uncle of mine living in Canada now adding a bit of their own, but I won’t be touching any of it until I turn eighteen and start university.”
He shrugged but then the expression his face brightened.
“Back at Wako High, I got into a lot of fights. Takamiya, Ookusu and Noma were always backing me up. They were known the infamous ‘three Stooges’, much to their chagrin. Youhei Mito came during our last year there. For the first month we hated each other’s guts. I guess it was because he got into a lot of fights too and we saw one another as rivals. Takamiya, Ookusu and Noma stayed out of our feud.”
Sakuragi’s expression then darkened.
“Then one day I found Youhei cornered by a gang from another school. He had knocked out five of them but there were three others and one of them had a knife. I saw that Yohei was too weak to fight anymore so I decided to help him out, without thinking. I did manage to knock out those remaining guys but somewhere in the fight, I saw the guy with the knife lunge at Yohei.
“So I instinctively pushed Yohei out of the way but got a deep cut at the stomach. But the tensai that I am still managed to give him one final headbutt and he fainted before I passed out too.
“When I woke up, I was at the hospital. It turns out that Yohei had dragged me all the way there. As far as I knew, we instantly left our grudges behind and became friends. Yohei would later become my best friend and the person who understood me best. I still have a scar from that fight.”
A soft chuckled escaped the redhead’s lips.
“The rest of my guntai took him in quickly and soon we were like fingers of a hand; inseparable. We all decided to attend Shohoku together. They love to gang up on me and make me their laughing stock, but I know that deep down they care. Like when Mitchy’s gang came, my guntai came to help me out. And since I was part of the basketball club, they did what they could to help out the team too. They were there to help me train too.
“I couldn’t ask for better friends. Even if they laughed at me when I told them I would join the basketball club, they came at almost every practice and to every single game to support me-
“- Even if they knew that my reason for playing basketball could’ve been considered immature and almost stupid… I know I haven’t been exactly very quiet about that.
“Kitsune… I started playing basketball for Haruko Akagi.”
You tensed, feeling your heart flinch at the sudden hurt and pain numbing your mind.
“But then… during our match against Sannoh, I finally realized it. I think Yohei and the guntai were to first to notice.”
You blinked at him in confusion as he fidgeted under your intense stare.
“That I had truly fallen in love with basketball… and that you were always why I would push myself to progress and you were the sole reason why I kept playing and refused to give up.”
Your sapphire eyes watched him, searching his face for clues to better understand him.
‘No, he doesn’t actually mean…’
“Idiot. I started playing basketball because of Haruko-san, but I stayed because of you. Don’t you understand? I stayed because of you and only you.”
And suddenly time seemed to stop for you as his indirect confession - as if yours was much more direct than his! - finally sunk in through your fogged mind.
And wait! Was it just you or was he much closer than a second ago?
“Stupid fox. Stop gaping and kiss me already.”
A soft press of lips on lips and the kiss was short and chaste but sweet and warm and hinted at a promise of many more to come.
When he moved back, smiling dazedly, the blush on his cheeks had only but intensified. He then chuckled at the stunned expression that was still on your pale face.
“Rukawa.”
“…”
“Kaede.”
“…”
And then he punched your shoulder hard.
From which you quickly recovered and retaliated by tackling him to the floor and kissing him hard.
Your do’ahou and you could only laugh, cheeks stained crimson, when you eventually parted for air.
You lovingly ran your fingers through his short silky soft red hair.
“Aishiteru, Hanamichi.”
“I love you too, kitsune.”
And for the first time since you were thirteen, you felt free and you smiled a true smile.
---
September 26, 2005
Author: Viv
Genre: romance/drama/fluff
Rating: PG
Fandom: Slam Dunk book - manga
Pairing: Ruhana
Disclaimer: I just wish.
Summary: “What’s wrong, kitsune?” [standalone. Set during Rukawa and Sakuragi’s second year at Shohoku.]
It was rather strange, wasn’t it?
You and him alone in the gym, after an exhausting after-school practice, and not fighting though no one was there to prevent the two of you from doing so.
While everyone else had barely left only a few minutes earlier, he was already standing over you, scowling down at your slumped form on the floor.
There was silence. Complete and utter silence.
And then you slowly stood up and turned your back to him, quietly walking away towards the locker room.
He didn’t take long to follow you.
“Oi! What’s your problem?”
What was your problem?
What were you supposed to answer to that? That lately, you hadn’t been able to concentrate on the game? That lately, you had a hard time sleeping? That lately, all you could think of was him?
That he was the problem?
Shit, no, that couldn’t be.
You opened your locker, refusing to answer - it’s not as if you could anyway - as you took out a towel and wiped the sweat off of your face and neck before sitting down on the bench behind you. Your face tilted forward and when you felt his gaze settling back on you, your eyes fell shut.
“What’s wrong, kitsune?”
His time his voice seemed to have lost its earlier harshness and suddenly you felt a warm presence settling down beside you.
“Rukawa? What it is?”
“Why do you care?”
Nothing answered your question.
Finally you reopened your steel blue eyes and looked at him, your voice cold and - what was that - scornful?
“Why do you care?”
You watched on as your teammate looked away, frowning.
“I don’t. But you’ve been missing most of your shots and got smacked a few times by the ball. Your defence has been weak too! Ryocchin and me are usually currently the only ones to be able to go through you but this week even the first years had no problem at all. You’re always distracted and tired. Youhei, Kuwata, Haruko-san and I’ve also been watching you in class. Everyone’s quite surprised that you’re awake now and- ”
“Why do you care?”
“I just said I don’t! It’s just that you’re part of this team and Ryocchin is our captain and one of my closest friends. He has enough things to worry about as it is and I don’t want you to become a burden to him.”
“So- ”
“And you’re part of this team and as much as the tensai hates to say this, the team needs you. The first years look up to us and Ryocchin, Kaku, Shioza, Yasu, Sasa, Ishii, Kuwa and even Ayako-san, Haruko-san and especially the old man are counting on the two of us to take Shohoku to the Interhigh finals again this year. That means you being concentrated when we play basketball.”
You didn’t reply.
“Look, I already told you I don’t care about you. But I do care about the team and we all have the same dream. I don’t want us to lose everything we’ve done so far because of a stupid kitsune who can’t play anymore...”
Your heart made a painful ‘thump’ as you watched as the redhead standing up and heading for his locker before you lowered your gaze back to the floor. Sakuragi grabbed his bag and turned to leave.
“My grandfather gave me a basketball when I was seven, for my birthday. He was the one who taught me how to play.”
You felt, rather than saw, your red-headed rival pause at the door, his back still to you. Still, you knew you had all of his attention.
“He’d come to pick me up each day after school and would take me to a public court nearby. We’d play for two hours before coming home. My dad would then scowl grandfather for taking away some of my precious time to study. I knew dad was only half-serious though, he just thought I was too spoiled by his family.”
Your smile was brief and bittersweet, and you still refused to look at the other boy.
“When I was twelve... we found out grandfather had cancer and was terminally ill. He had known for a few years but had kept it to himself. Only grandmother knew about it. He fainted when we were on our way to the court and was rushed to the hospital. That’s how we found out. He passed away when I was thirteen, a week after he had seen me play in my ‘real’ first match ever. I was an average player, but he was still proud of me.
“After grandfather died, dad and mom both encouraged me to keep playing basketball for my grandfather. Even my mom’s parents and grandmother insisted I continue. I had wanted to quit, but my mom took over for grandfather and took me to the court and helped me trained whenever I had no afterschool training. Dad took me on the week-ends. I think that’s when I learned to love basketball.
“So then I trained as much as I could to become the best player on the court. I dedicated myself completely to basketball and nothing else. I guess that’s when I became quite… antisocial. Ayako-sempai was on the girls’ team of our school back then and was always teasing me for distracting her teammates. I still don’t know why though.”
At that you frowned before shaking your head.
“I became captain of the team on my last year. I knew then that I was on the right path. My teammates looked up at me, even if I completely lacked of social skills. My family kept supporting me and my parents attended all my games until- until- ”
Your voice suddenly broke and your hands fisted themselves as you tried to keep yourself from shaking.
A warm hand dropped on your shoulder and your eyes, hidden by dark bangs, widened briefly. You looked up to find Sakuragi sitting beside you again, staring straight ahead.
He quickly pulled his hand away and you looked down at your clenched hands on your knees.
Your heart had almost flown out of your chest for a moment.
“My parents were in a car crash the summer before I entered Shohoku,” you whispered, “Dad died instantly. My mom died the next day in the hospital. I saw her slip away under my very own eyes. I couldn’t do anything. Not a thing. I was an orphan at fifteen.
“I came to Shohoku because this is where my grandfather attended school. I lived with dad’s sister during my first year here. Then I moved out after right after the interhigh last summer. It turns out my parents had set a bank account for me when I was one year old and had saved up quite a small fortune for me, with my grandparents on both sides regularly adding to the savings over the years. All the money that I had received as gifts for birthdays and holidays were also there.
“I didn’t want to become a burden to my aunt and her family so I found myself an apartment before leaving for the All-Japan training camp. Still, the entire family made me promise to keep them updated at least weekly.”
You shook your head, grinning inwardly at yourself.
“And you know what? Even though I had realized that I had fallen in love with basketball when I was thirteen, it wasn’t until my first year at Shohoku, during our game against Kainan, that I had realized how much more basketball meant to me. Basketball was my life, my life.”
Sakuragi remained quiet for a moment, and then let out a confused sigh.
“Why are you telling me all of this?”
Your mouth opened but nothing came out.
You closed it when it hit you; you didn’t know.
“And what do you mean, basketball was your life? Isn’t it still is, kitsune?”
Your brain still refused to give you a proper answer, for you had not even realized your use of past tense right there.
You had no idea why you had basically told him the story of your life. Why him of all people. You hadn’t known what you had wanted to accomplish by telling him all of this.
And so you said the only thing that came to mind.
“Do’ahou.”
“Rukawa! Why you- ”
“I don’t know.”
“… What?”
You looked up at the soft tone of his voice and were startled to find yourself staring into deep chocolate orbs. A flicker of worry seemed to glint in his warm eyes and your breath caught in your throat.
‘So… beautiful. Do’ahou, don’t you know this is only your fault that I keep doubting myself now?’
You froze at your train of thoughts.
And suddenly, you knew. You knew what this all meant.
The way your eyes would stray in his direction before each shot you made, the way his loud and bordering-on-lunatic laugh distracted you, how his smiles made your heartbeat accelerate and how your breath caught in your throat at just the sight of him sweating in a game.
You knew why you had confided in him.
You finally knew where you were heading, what you were trying to say.
“Kitsune! Say something!”
“I think I’ve just realized something else.”
“And?”
“Basketball was my life. And it probably still is.”
“Tell me something the tensai doesn’t know.”
You voice lowered to a murmur.
“If I had to choose between basketball and you, then I would give up on basketball.”
“Give on up basketball? Kitsune! You can’t think of- Wait…”
The redhead’s eyes widened adorably in disbelief and he started stuttering.
“To choose between basketball and me… you’d give up on basketball… so that would mean… me?”
You nodded.
“You mean…”
“Do’ahou.”
A soft blush appeared on his cheeks and you couldn’t help but look on fondly at your companion. Nothing answered you for a moment.
His reply came out in a low voice.
“I never had the chance to know my mother. She passed away when I was two. And my dad passed away from a heart attack. It was my fault… Had I called for an ambulance instead of running to the clinic and gotten ambushed by a gang, he would have most probably been alive today. I was thirteen when I became an orphan.”
A sad, bitter smile graced his lips.
“The only family I had was my dad’s parents. Grandpa took care of selling the house I lived in and grandma found me an apartment so that I could continue my life here, because they lived in Tokyo. They regularly deposit money in a bank account at my name so that I can live comfortably enough.
“Grandma told me that dad had started saving up some money for me the day he had learned that my mom was pregnant with me. Apparently it’s quite a large sum, with grandpa and an uncle of mine living in Canada now adding a bit of their own, but I won’t be touching any of it until I turn eighteen and start university.”
He shrugged but then the expression his face brightened.
“Back at Wako High, I got into a lot of fights. Takamiya, Ookusu and Noma were always backing me up. They were known the infamous ‘three Stooges’, much to their chagrin. Youhei Mito came during our last year there. For the first month we hated each other’s guts. I guess it was because he got into a lot of fights too and we saw one another as rivals. Takamiya, Ookusu and Noma stayed out of our feud.”
Sakuragi’s expression then darkened.
“Then one day I found Youhei cornered by a gang from another school. He had knocked out five of them but there were three others and one of them had a knife. I saw that Yohei was too weak to fight anymore so I decided to help him out, without thinking. I did manage to knock out those remaining guys but somewhere in the fight, I saw the guy with the knife lunge at Yohei.
“So I instinctively pushed Yohei out of the way but got a deep cut at the stomach. But the tensai that I am still managed to give him one final headbutt and he fainted before I passed out too.
“When I woke up, I was at the hospital. It turns out that Yohei had dragged me all the way there. As far as I knew, we instantly left our grudges behind and became friends. Yohei would later become my best friend and the person who understood me best. I still have a scar from that fight.”
A soft chuckled escaped the redhead’s lips.
“The rest of my guntai took him in quickly and soon we were like fingers of a hand; inseparable. We all decided to attend Shohoku together. They love to gang up on me and make me their laughing stock, but I know that deep down they care. Like when Mitchy’s gang came, my guntai came to help me out. And since I was part of the basketball club, they did what they could to help out the team too. They were there to help me train too.
“I couldn’t ask for better friends. Even if they laughed at me when I told them I would join the basketball club, they came at almost every practice and to every single game to support me-
“- Even if they knew that my reason for playing basketball could’ve been considered immature and almost stupid… I know I haven’t been exactly very quiet about that.
“Kitsune… I started playing basketball for Haruko Akagi.”
You tensed, feeling your heart flinch at the sudden hurt and pain numbing your mind.
“But then… during our match against Sannoh, I finally realized it. I think Yohei and the guntai were to first to notice.”
You blinked at him in confusion as he fidgeted under your intense stare.
“That I had truly fallen in love with basketball… and that you were always why I would push myself to progress and you were the sole reason why I kept playing and refused to give up.”
Your sapphire eyes watched him, searching his face for clues to better understand him.
‘No, he doesn’t actually mean…’
“Idiot. I started playing basketball because of Haruko-san, but I stayed because of you. Don’t you understand? I stayed because of you and only you.”
And suddenly time seemed to stop for you as his indirect confession - as if yours was much more direct than his! - finally sunk in through your fogged mind.
And wait! Was it just you or was he much closer than a second ago?
“Stupid fox. Stop gaping and kiss me already.”
A soft press of lips on lips and the kiss was short and chaste but sweet and warm and hinted at a promise of many more to come.
When he moved back, smiling dazedly, the blush on his cheeks had only but intensified. He then chuckled at the stunned expression that was still on your pale face.
“Rukawa.”
“…”
“Kaede.”
“…”
And then he punched your shoulder hard.
From which you quickly recovered and retaliated by tackling him to the floor and kissing him hard.
Your do’ahou and you could only laugh, cheeks stained crimson, when you eventually parted for air.
You lovingly ran your fingers through his short silky soft red hair.
“Aishiteru, Hanamichi.”
“I love you too, kitsune.”
And for the first time since you were thirteen, you felt free and you smiled a true smile.
---
September 26, 2005