Consumerism Wins Again!!
The Man sez: This was a goober day. Dr. Yeh was pleased that the cortisone shot worked yet would not give me the second one. And he seemed rather uninterested in the ENORMOUS BULGE ON MY WRIST!!! Dr. Yeh, I used to love you so much. You listened to my concerns when other doctors dismissed them. You fixed my middle finger! But now this betrayal? Why? Why, Dr. Yeh? After everything we've been through... I said "Hey, since the shot worked before, why even bother with pills?" That's my general feeling. Pills are just part of the run-around, maybe to send some profits to his pals at Astra-Zenica or whatever and ensure a repeat visit. Vacay in Saint-Tropez, anyone? I stopped short of getting up in his face and fuckin' demanding a cortisone shot. It's hard to be emphatic when you know exactly the intensity of the pain you're signing up for. He says the bump, which is much squishier now, is a cyst of some sort. Nothing he can do about it... except for injecting some cortisone and he sure as hell wouldn't be doing that. On the plus side, I get to wear a wrist brace. I pretend I'm in an emo band and make tortured faces at myself in the rear view mirror when I'm driving. NOT!! (entirely)
My ESOL/Special Ed presentation was aces. I was worried that I wouldn't have enough to fill up my 10-15 minutes and felt a little naked without a powerpoint (Professor Schnapp said she wasn't impressed by them in the slightest and my lumpy wrist didn't feel up to it anyway) Um, this may seem unrelated, but I think I figured out how I got tha trigga finger. See, I'm typing no more or less than I ever had, but the keyboard is normally someplace more ergonomic than my lap. In fact, the tray broke just a little while before the first unexplained finger swelling incident occurred last winter. Maybe it's just coincidence, but I know it sure as hell isn't from my increased activity as a gun hobbyist. Or lobbyist. Anyway, my SpEd class always promises hilarity. First came the girl who said her mother blamed her brother's autism on an MRI. No, what she meant was the MMR vaccination. Then came the guy who asked our guest speaker, a school psychologist in Baltimore County, how schools could "dumb down" curriculum and expectations for, say, the retarted boy, and not his classmates. Jesus. Just in case you ever totally lose your common sense, I feel I should point out that Special Educators are pretty humorless people when it comes to disabled children. Retard jokes? Bad idea. So try and watch your comments around that group of people. I'll save the detailed reenactment for our next heart-to-heart. PS I love Alice and most of her friends. And the Crapton. Memories.
I'm finally eligible for an upgrade from Cingular. I have been more than ready to ditch the blue piece of adorable shit I've been toting around like a goddamn overgrown preschooler. We've had both good and bad times, Blue. Mainly bad, since you have suckass reception even with the updated SIM chip. And I'm ready to admit that I, Miss Cameras-and-pretty-colors-are-nice-but-I-have-a-cell-phone-to-make-phone-calls, have been consumed by consumerism. I want this.
I want it fuckin' bad. Maybe even bad enough to drop $200 bucks. I'd prefer not, but I WANT A PRETTY PHONE TOO!!! I WANT THE PRETTIEST PHONE, GOD DAMN IT! I want the Motorola v3 RAZR in limited edition black anodized aluminum with the quad band and the 4x zoom and the litium ion battery and the pretty pretty prettyness. I don't even like flip phones. That's how badly I want this phone. It's a thing of wonderment. If Black Beauty were written today, it wouldn't be about a horse. It would be about this phone. I'm sure that if I had it, I'd probably drop it on the floor, get it scratched up, ruin the battery, and still manage to never understand how to use all the features. That's not the point, is it? We don't buy two pairs of the same pink ballet slipper sneakers with the cute criss-crossy elastic because we need them. We buy them so we have a spare pair and you don't. If someone has a Motorola v3 RAZR in limited edition black anodized aluminum with the quad band and guuuuuh gadgetry overload! that they would be willing to sell to me at a fair price, HOLLA BACK! Fuckin' eBay is no help. Except that my user ID is 'morrislouisateyourface' and that consistantly amuses me. And my mom needs a new phone since she melted hers. My mother... confounds logic.
Oh man, I was watching this really awesome program on Roman pleasure ships on the History Channel (it's Rome week - HUZZAH!!) when my mom says in her whiney tired mom voice "Isn't there anything else on tv besides educational programs?" I told her I'd have to report her to the teachers union for misconduct. Now bring on the recently downloaded Gabby La La! Let us drink milk til the cows indeed come home!!