[fic] Professor
Title: Professor
Characters: Jim/Bones
Genre: humor, fluff, crack
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jim drags McCoy off to a classroom to satisfy a fantasy, but complications arise.
Warnings: smut, crack, some minor oocness for comedic effect.
Author's Notes: I am struck with the realization of why I prefer to write Kirk/Spock and not much else... Jim/Bones, they steal my story and start to bicker incessantly at each other... This was supposed to be porny it ended up just being silly. *sigh*
Unbeta'd as usual
"I don't know how you keep talking me into these things..." Bones grumbled, glancing back and forth in the empty hallway.
"Come on. This one's clear." Jim said, punching in the override code he'd screwed out of a security guard the second day of classes two years ago. They really should update those more often. Bones had no reason to be this nervous about role playing in an empty classroom. Lunch had just started. It would be a solid hour before any classes started up and that was assuming the professor got there on time.
"Why can't we just do this in our room? We live in the same room. There's nothing to worry about. No one would think it odd seeing us together in our room because it's our room!" Bones hissed, following Jim into the empty classroom.
"Quit whining. We'll be done and gone long before anyone gets back. Or are you trying to get a detention, Cadet?"
Bones resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He always felt silly whenever they were satisfying Jim's more vanilla kinks. "No, Professor. I promise, I'll be good," Bones said breathlessly, sliding into a desk at the front row.
"Bones." Jim sighed, exasperated. "Can't you take this seriously?"
"No. This is ridiculous, and we're going to get caught."
"We won't get caught. We have plenty of time. I promise I'll let you do anything you want to me when we get back. I'll even wear that nurse costume."
"You like wearing that nurse costume."
"So?"
"Alright fine. I'll think of something later. Let's just get this over with."
Jim grinned. Bones always protested at first but he warmed up to things quickly. "Cadet, did you finish last night's homework assignment?"
"No, Professor."
Jim paused. "And why not?"
"Because I thought you might let me do a little something different instead." Bones said, leering at Jim.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Oh, just some extra credit."
"I'll see you after class."
"I'd prefer to give it to you now."
Jim shivered. His exhibitionist side loved this. "Alright. Come to the front of the class."
Bones stood, striding up into Jim's space where he was leaning against the desk.
"What is it you intended to give me?"
"This, Professor," Bones said into Jim's ear. They were close enough now that Jim could feel the heat of Bones' body through their uniforms as Bones slid to the floor in front of him. They didn't touch. Bones leaned back, his knees spread open for Jim to see his erection through the red fabric as he arched his neck and reached for Jim's hips. He stopped before undoing Jim's pants, hands resting almost weightlessly against Jim's pelvis. "Is this an acceptable alternative credit?"
Jim's knuckles creaked where he was gripping the desk. "I don't know, Cadet. You have a lot of missed work to make up for."
"I know," Bones said, opening Jim's pants and sliding them down. Jim's cock sprang free, hips fidgeting to resist the urge to thrust against Bones' cheek.
"I'll leave it up to the class to decide."
Bones head whipped around, forgetting and remembering they were at the front of an empty classroom. He turned back and nipped at the head of Jim's cock. Kissing and licking until drool dribbled down the length diverting along a vein as Jim moaned.
"Fuck, Bone-, Cadet, Take it in your mouth. Yes, now-" Jim cut himself off, biting his lip as Bones beat him to his own direction, cupping and rolling his balls.
Bones hummed, bobbing and stroking Jim's cock with his lips and tongue. The steady throb between his own legs starting to grow distracting from his task. He reached down and adjusted himself only to nearly choke on Jim's dick when the other man pressed his shin against him.
"Like that?" Jim smirked. "Want your professor's cock so bad? Taste so good you'd hump my leg?"
Bones groaned, nodding as much as he could around the thick heat in his mouth.
"Well too bad." Jim pulled his leg away, panting at the sight of Bones anxiously bucking and whimpering at his feet. "Only good cadets who- do their homework get to- cum," Jim grunted, hips rocking in and out of Bones mouth as he felt his balls begin to tighten.
Bones snorted, reaching between his thighs to rub frantically.
"Oh no you don't." Jim snarled, pushing Bones to the floor. He bent down, grabbing the front of his uniform. "I think someone needs a little punishment. Needs to learn to respect authority."
Bones snorted at the irony in that statement, letting Jim manhandle him over the desk. "Fuck, J- Professor. Please- Fuck, what was that?"
Jim froze, digging around his erection for the lube in his pocket. They looked together at the door. They couldn't see through the blind pulled down over the window, but there were muffled voices in the hall. "Fuck, what? Jim, I told you we'd be caught." Bones rasped, tugging at his clothes, frantically looking around the room for a way to explain their presence.
Jim frowned, grabbing Bones by the elbow and yanking him into the office in the back of the classroom. "We aren't going to get caught. Fuck, whose classroom is this?"
"How should I know?" Bones hissed, pulling his arm back from Jim so he could shut the door behind them. "Whoever it is decided to set up class half an hour early."
"Shut up, it might not even be a teacher." Jim said, peeking carefully under the rolling blind covering the small window. "Shit, of all the classes. It's Uhura and that Vulcan."
"Who and who?"
"The Xenolinguistics major I told you about? And that Vulcan. What's-his-name. He's Pike's first officer."
"Spock?! We're dead. We're hiding in Spock's office. We're going to be expelled."
"What? You can't be expelled for trespassing."
"In case you forgot, we weren't just 'trespassing.'"
"They don't have proof of that. Now, shut up, Uhura's leaving."
They crouched silently around their small gap to the outside world, watching Spock flip through the notes on his PADD.
Jim snorted. "Like he even needs those, I bet he's got the whole damn semester's worth of lessons memorized."
"Shh! Is he sniffing?"
They watched as Spock tilted his head back and looked back and forth across the room.
"Do vulcans have a good sense of smell?"
"They didn't mention it in my med classes. Not that they would. Damn green-blooded bastards refuse to tell us, their doctors, anything about them so we might, I don't know, save their lives?!"
"Shh."
They watched silently. Time creeping along at an aching crawl as Spock went to the board to write up the class' notes.
"Shit, we can't even watch the class from here. This is going to be boring."
"Just be glad he's too OCD to leave any of his supplies in his office." Bones griped, standing and stretching his back.
Jim hummed distractedly, craning his neck to get a look at what Spock was doing. "There, see? He's sniffing again."
Bones sighed, leaning forward. "Where? I can't see around your fat head."
Jim pushed back to give Bones a better view, stifling a laugh as the other man groaned, rocking his hips into his ass. "You're kidding. You're still hard?"
"And you're not?" Bones grumbled, backing away from the door to stand behind the desk.
Jim turned to look at him. "Of course I am. I'm just surprised you are too."
"Not like it does me any good. We're stuck here until his class ends."
Jim turned back to glance through their small gap. "Jeez, his students are just as anal. He's already got one showing up for class. Wait, is that Uhura? I thought she just left... oh this is good. Bones, get over here; take a look at this."
"No, I'm not falling for that."
"Suit yourself, but they're doing exactly what we were just doing."
"What?"
Jim stepped back to let Bones look.
"No they're not. They're holding hands. That doesn't mean anything."
"It does with a vulcan. Their hands are an erogenous zone. They're making out in the middle of the classroom."
"You would know that."
"Shut up, and budge over. This is great."
"You watch. I'm going to sit over there and work on praying us a way out of here." Bones said, flopping into the chair behind the desk. He sat grumpily, watching Jim's ass wiggle excitedly back and forth as he watched the two in the other room.
"Damn, why'd they stop? Oh, there's a student. Ho-shit Uhura's sitting down in the front of the class. She really is his student. Kinky bastard."
"Like you can talk. You were just enacting that very same fantasy, and now you're watching them like some voyeuristic pervert."
"Just because I am one doesn't mean I can't call it on someone else." Jim turned, sticking his tongue out at Bones.
Bones just rolled his eyes, wishing he had something to do to pass the time. About thirty minutes later - according to his watch - he was considering mentally going over the names of the bones in the vertebral octopus species of Thargon IV - just to give him something to do - when he noticed Jim wasn't watching Spock's class anymore. "What?"
"Just thinking."
"I'm not going to like what you're going to say next, am I?"
"Since we're stuck here anyway, let's continue where we left off?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"We're trapped in the office of the most anal-retentive teacher on the staff, waiting for his hour long language lab to finish while you're asking me to suck you off and you're confused when I say 'no?'"
"I'm hard; you're here, there's a desk."
"Not winning me over."
"Fine, I'll just jerk off."
"What?!" Bones yelped. They both froze, listening for any sign that the class outside had heard. "Fuck, Jim, you can't jerk off here. He'll catch us."
"No, he won't. You yourself just said he's too OCD to leave anything he needs in his office. He'll go immediately from this class to whatever research Starfleet has him doing this semester."
"You can't be sure of that. Wait Jim- what if he does his research here. Jim, fuck." Bones groaned, trying unsuccessfully to push Jim's hands away from his pants. "What if he smells it?"
"We'll be long gone. He'll have no proof."
"You said that before, oh... Jim."
Jim looked up, sucking almost idly on the head of Bones' cock. "Hmm?" He popped off. "Do you still want me to stop?"
"Fuck you."
"If you'd like."
"Dammit, Jim. I'm a doctor not-"
"You're not a doctor yet."
Bones hit him over the head.
"Ow."
"I am so a doctor. Now shut up and suck me."
Jim grinned, leaning back down and taking Bones into his mouth. He sucked hard, relishing the strangled noises Bones was trying to conceal. Pulling Bones' hips closer to the edge of the chair, Jim licked and bobbed. He pulled off, stroking Bones while he mouthed his way towards the man's balls. There was a vein part way down his length that never failed to make Bones scream when they were alone in their room. Jim found it and sucked.
Bone bucked and writhed, shoving his own fist into his mouth to keep from outright howling. He pushed Jim away from him. "Fuck me, please."
"Thank God." Jim sighed, standing and shoving at his pants while Bones rushed to get his own down. Jim slicked his fingers and pressed two into Bones turning them excitedly as he got Bones ready.
"Shit, Jim. Slow down... and don't forget the condom."
"The what? Fuck. Bones we never use condoms anymore."
"Please tell me you have one."
"No. Shit. Why do we need one?" Jim whined.
"I'm not walking back to our dorms with a leaky anus."
"Oh, gross, Bones."
"You see why I want you to use a condom?"
"Alright, fine. Do you have one?"
"Why would I have one? You said you had everything."
"I didn't know we needed a condom."
"You should always have a condom on you."
"You don't have one either."
Bones glared at Jim.
"Can't you just... I don't know... ignore it?"
"No."
"Shit." Jim looked down at their respective erections. They looked lonely.
The door opened making them both jump to cover themselves as they ducked under the desk.
"For the first time in the history of my career," Spock said to the room in general. "I have had to release a class early. When you are quite finished, please leave and don't break anything." He rapped his knuckles on the desktop, and both men underneath flinched. "We shall never mention this again."
Spock turned and strode out of the room. The door shut behind him with a soft click.
"Fuck that was terrifying," Jim gasped, grabbing Bones by the front of his uniform and yanking him into a rough kiss. They rubbed uncomfortably against each other in the small confine underneath the desk until Bones pulled away.
"What's he talking about early? His class ended two minutes ago," Bones said, glancing at his watch.
"Yeah and we've been making out for three."
"You mean he..."
"Yup."
They both laughed, crawling out from under the desk and standing up. Bones frowned when he saw Jim's growing grin. "What are you so happy about?"
"Look." Jim pointed at the desk. There was a single square package sitting in the middle of the synthetic wood. The telltale ring of the contents making it painfully obvious what was inside, even without the obnoxiously large lettering across the front saying 'CONDOM.'
"I don't believe it."
"Believe it, Cadet. I think someone was in need of punishment?"
"Professor." Bones groaned, trying desperately not to laugh as Jim snatched up the condom and manhandled him across the desk.
*~*~*~*~*
Spock sat silently in his classroom listening to the two overzealous young men usurping access to his office. He had work out for grading, but he couldn't in good faith say that was what he was doing.
He winced at a particularly loud thump. Loud enough he suspected even human ears would have heard it, and he was glad he let his class out early. When he'd first entered he'd suspected something amiss, but because he could not pinpoint why he felt something had happened he had ignored the feeling. Now that his ears were attuned to them, Spock could hear every sound they made. If he closed his eyes he could strain his nose to smell them too.
Spock ignored the distracting heat in his gut and marked another question he was grading. This must be what humans talked about when they referred to sex. All the activities he had done with Uhura had not been nearly so - There was a loud gasp from the other room, and the smell got suddenly more potent. - enticing. He would have to discuss this with her.
A cautious head poked out of his office. Spock put down his work and turned to face it.
"Were the facilities satisfactory?"
The head disappeared to be quickly replaced by another with a significantly larger grin. "Yes, thank you. You should try them yourself some time with Uhura."
"Jim!" The other hissed. The second head, Jim, was yanked back into the office, and there was a short scuffle.
The first head popped out again. "Right, uh. Thank you for your time. We did not mean to intrude. We'll just be going now."
The first head - Spock could now guess from the names he'd heard earlier this was 'Bones.' - proceeded past him and out of the classroom with Jim hopping along beside him, ear firmly clamped between two fingers.
Spock listened to their voices bickering down the hallway until they were out of earshot. He turned back to his task and resumed his work at a much more satisfactory efficiency rating. However, he did make note to take Jim's advice in the near future.
-fin-
Characters: Jim/Bones
Genre: humor, fluff, crack
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Jim drags McCoy off to a classroom to satisfy a fantasy, but complications arise.
Warnings: smut, crack, some minor oocness for comedic effect.
Author's Notes: I am struck with the realization of why I prefer to write Kirk/Spock and not much else... Jim/Bones, they steal my story and start to bicker incessantly at each other... This was supposed to be porny it ended up just being silly. *sigh*
Unbeta'd as usual
"I don't know how you keep talking me into these things..." Bones grumbled, glancing back and forth in the empty hallway.
"Come on. This one's clear." Jim said, punching in the override code he'd screwed out of a security guard the second day of classes two years ago. They really should update those more often. Bones had no reason to be this nervous about role playing in an empty classroom. Lunch had just started. It would be a solid hour before any classes started up and that was assuming the professor got there on time.
"Why can't we just do this in our room? We live in the same room. There's nothing to worry about. No one would think it odd seeing us together in our room because it's our room!" Bones hissed, following Jim into the empty classroom.
"Quit whining. We'll be done and gone long before anyone gets back. Or are you trying to get a detention, Cadet?"
Bones resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He always felt silly whenever they were satisfying Jim's more vanilla kinks. "No, Professor. I promise, I'll be good," Bones said breathlessly, sliding into a desk at the front row.
"Bones." Jim sighed, exasperated. "Can't you take this seriously?"
"No. This is ridiculous, and we're going to get caught."
"We won't get caught. We have plenty of time. I promise I'll let you do anything you want to me when we get back. I'll even wear that nurse costume."
"You like wearing that nurse costume."
"So?"
"Alright fine. I'll think of something later. Let's just get this over with."
Jim grinned. Bones always protested at first but he warmed up to things quickly. "Cadet, did you finish last night's homework assignment?"
"No, Professor."
Jim paused. "And why not?"
"Because I thought you might let me do a little something different instead." Bones said, leering at Jim.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Oh, just some extra credit."
"I'll see you after class."
"I'd prefer to give it to you now."
Jim shivered. His exhibitionist side loved this. "Alright. Come to the front of the class."
Bones stood, striding up into Jim's space where he was leaning against the desk.
"What is it you intended to give me?"
"This, Professor," Bones said into Jim's ear. They were close enough now that Jim could feel the heat of Bones' body through their uniforms as Bones slid to the floor in front of him. They didn't touch. Bones leaned back, his knees spread open for Jim to see his erection through the red fabric as he arched his neck and reached for Jim's hips. He stopped before undoing Jim's pants, hands resting almost weightlessly against Jim's pelvis. "Is this an acceptable alternative credit?"
Jim's knuckles creaked where he was gripping the desk. "I don't know, Cadet. You have a lot of missed work to make up for."
"I know," Bones said, opening Jim's pants and sliding them down. Jim's cock sprang free, hips fidgeting to resist the urge to thrust against Bones' cheek.
"I'll leave it up to the class to decide."
Bones head whipped around, forgetting and remembering they were at the front of an empty classroom. He turned back and nipped at the head of Jim's cock. Kissing and licking until drool dribbled down the length diverting along a vein as Jim moaned.
"Fuck, Bone-, Cadet, Take it in your mouth. Yes, now-" Jim cut himself off, biting his lip as Bones beat him to his own direction, cupping and rolling his balls.
Bones hummed, bobbing and stroking Jim's cock with his lips and tongue. The steady throb between his own legs starting to grow distracting from his task. He reached down and adjusted himself only to nearly choke on Jim's dick when the other man pressed his shin against him.
"Like that?" Jim smirked. "Want your professor's cock so bad? Taste so good you'd hump my leg?"
Bones groaned, nodding as much as he could around the thick heat in his mouth.
"Well too bad." Jim pulled his leg away, panting at the sight of Bones anxiously bucking and whimpering at his feet. "Only good cadets who- do their homework get to- cum," Jim grunted, hips rocking in and out of Bones mouth as he felt his balls begin to tighten.
Bones snorted, reaching between his thighs to rub frantically.
"Oh no you don't." Jim snarled, pushing Bones to the floor. He bent down, grabbing the front of his uniform. "I think someone needs a little punishment. Needs to learn to respect authority."
Bones snorted at the irony in that statement, letting Jim manhandle him over the desk. "Fuck, J- Professor. Please- Fuck, what was that?"
Jim froze, digging around his erection for the lube in his pocket. They looked together at the door. They couldn't see through the blind pulled down over the window, but there were muffled voices in the hall. "Fuck, what? Jim, I told you we'd be caught." Bones rasped, tugging at his clothes, frantically looking around the room for a way to explain their presence.
Jim frowned, grabbing Bones by the elbow and yanking him into the office in the back of the classroom. "We aren't going to get caught. Fuck, whose classroom is this?"
"How should I know?" Bones hissed, pulling his arm back from Jim so he could shut the door behind them. "Whoever it is decided to set up class half an hour early."
"Shut up, it might not even be a teacher." Jim said, peeking carefully under the rolling blind covering the small window. "Shit, of all the classes. It's Uhura and that Vulcan."
"Who and who?"
"The Xenolinguistics major I told you about? And that Vulcan. What's-his-name. He's Pike's first officer."
"Spock?! We're dead. We're hiding in Spock's office. We're going to be expelled."
"What? You can't be expelled for trespassing."
"In case you forgot, we weren't just 'trespassing.'"
"They don't have proof of that. Now, shut up, Uhura's leaving."
They crouched silently around their small gap to the outside world, watching Spock flip through the notes on his PADD.
Jim snorted. "Like he even needs those, I bet he's got the whole damn semester's worth of lessons memorized."
"Shh! Is he sniffing?"
They watched as Spock tilted his head back and looked back and forth across the room.
"Do vulcans have a good sense of smell?"
"They didn't mention it in my med classes. Not that they would. Damn green-blooded bastards refuse to tell us, their doctors, anything about them so we might, I don't know, save their lives?!"
"Shh."
They watched silently. Time creeping along at an aching crawl as Spock went to the board to write up the class' notes.
"Shit, we can't even watch the class from here. This is going to be boring."
"Just be glad he's too OCD to leave any of his supplies in his office." Bones griped, standing and stretching his back.
Jim hummed distractedly, craning his neck to get a look at what Spock was doing. "There, see? He's sniffing again."
Bones sighed, leaning forward. "Where? I can't see around your fat head."
Jim pushed back to give Bones a better view, stifling a laugh as the other man groaned, rocking his hips into his ass. "You're kidding. You're still hard?"
"And you're not?" Bones grumbled, backing away from the door to stand behind the desk.
Jim turned to look at him. "Of course I am. I'm just surprised you are too."
"Not like it does me any good. We're stuck here until his class ends."
Jim turned back to glance through their small gap. "Jeez, his students are just as anal. He's already got one showing up for class. Wait, is that Uhura? I thought she just left... oh this is good. Bones, get over here; take a look at this."
"No, I'm not falling for that."
"Suit yourself, but they're doing exactly what we were just doing."
"What?"
Jim stepped back to let Bones look.
"No they're not. They're holding hands. That doesn't mean anything."
"It does with a vulcan. Their hands are an erogenous zone. They're making out in the middle of the classroom."
"You would know that."
"Shut up, and budge over. This is great."
"You watch. I'm going to sit over there and work on praying us a way out of here." Bones said, flopping into the chair behind the desk. He sat grumpily, watching Jim's ass wiggle excitedly back and forth as he watched the two in the other room.
"Damn, why'd they stop? Oh, there's a student. Ho-shit Uhura's sitting down in the front of the class. She really is his student. Kinky bastard."
"Like you can talk. You were just enacting that very same fantasy, and now you're watching them like some voyeuristic pervert."
"Just because I am one doesn't mean I can't call it on someone else." Jim turned, sticking his tongue out at Bones.
Bones just rolled his eyes, wishing he had something to do to pass the time. About thirty minutes later - according to his watch - he was considering mentally going over the names of the bones in the vertebral octopus species of Thargon IV - just to give him something to do - when he noticed Jim wasn't watching Spock's class anymore. "What?"
"Just thinking."
"I'm not going to like what you're going to say next, am I?"
"Since we're stuck here anyway, let's continue where we left off?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"We're trapped in the office of the most anal-retentive teacher on the staff, waiting for his hour long language lab to finish while you're asking me to suck you off and you're confused when I say 'no?'"
"I'm hard; you're here, there's a desk."
"Not winning me over."
"Fine, I'll just jerk off."
"What?!" Bones yelped. They both froze, listening for any sign that the class outside had heard. "Fuck, Jim, you can't jerk off here. He'll catch us."
"No, he won't. You yourself just said he's too OCD to leave anything he needs in his office. He'll go immediately from this class to whatever research Starfleet has him doing this semester."
"You can't be sure of that. Wait Jim- what if he does his research here. Jim, fuck." Bones groaned, trying unsuccessfully to push Jim's hands away from his pants. "What if he smells it?"
"We'll be long gone. He'll have no proof."
"You said that before, oh... Jim."
Jim looked up, sucking almost idly on the head of Bones' cock. "Hmm?" He popped off. "Do you still want me to stop?"
"Fuck you."
"If you'd like."
"Dammit, Jim. I'm a doctor not-"
"You're not a doctor yet."
Bones hit him over the head.
"Ow."
"I am so a doctor. Now shut up and suck me."
Jim grinned, leaning back down and taking Bones into his mouth. He sucked hard, relishing the strangled noises Bones was trying to conceal. Pulling Bones' hips closer to the edge of the chair, Jim licked and bobbed. He pulled off, stroking Bones while he mouthed his way towards the man's balls. There was a vein part way down his length that never failed to make Bones scream when they were alone in their room. Jim found it and sucked.
Bone bucked and writhed, shoving his own fist into his mouth to keep from outright howling. He pushed Jim away from him. "Fuck me, please."
"Thank God." Jim sighed, standing and shoving at his pants while Bones rushed to get his own down. Jim slicked his fingers and pressed two into Bones turning them excitedly as he got Bones ready.
"Shit, Jim. Slow down... and don't forget the condom."
"The what? Fuck. Bones we never use condoms anymore."
"Please tell me you have one."
"No. Shit. Why do we need one?" Jim whined.
"I'm not walking back to our dorms with a leaky anus."
"Oh, gross, Bones."
"You see why I want you to use a condom?"
"Alright, fine. Do you have one?"
"Why would I have one? You said you had everything."
"I didn't know we needed a condom."
"You should always have a condom on you."
"You don't have one either."
Bones glared at Jim.
"Can't you just... I don't know... ignore it?"
"No."
"Shit." Jim looked down at their respective erections. They looked lonely.
The door opened making them both jump to cover themselves as they ducked under the desk.
"For the first time in the history of my career," Spock said to the room in general. "I have had to release a class early. When you are quite finished, please leave and don't break anything." He rapped his knuckles on the desktop, and both men underneath flinched. "We shall never mention this again."
Spock turned and strode out of the room. The door shut behind him with a soft click.
"Fuck that was terrifying," Jim gasped, grabbing Bones by the front of his uniform and yanking him into a rough kiss. They rubbed uncomfortably against each other in the small confine underneath the desk until Bones pulled away.
"What's he talking about early? His class ended two minutes ago," Bones said, glancing at his watch.
"Yeah and we've been making out for three."
"You mean he..."
"Yup."
They both laughed, crawling out from under the desk and standing up. Bones frowned when he saw Jim's growing grin. "What are you so happy about?"
"Look." Jim pointed at the desk. There was a single square package sitting in the middle of the synthetic wood. The telltale ring of the contents making it painfully obvious what was inside, even without the obnoxiously large lettering across the front saying 'CONDOM.'
"I don't believe it."
"Believe it, Cadet. I think someone was in need of punishment?"
"Professor." Bones groaned, trying desperately not to laugh as Jim snatched up the condom and manhandled him across the desk.
*~*~*~*~*
Spock sat silently in his classroom listening to the two overzealous young men usurping access to his office. He had work out for grading, but he couldn't in good faith say that was what he was doing.
He winced at a particularly loud thump. Loud enough he suspected even human ears would have heard it, and he was glad he let his class out early. When he'd first entered he'd suspected something amiss, but because he could not pinpoint why he felt something had happened he had ignored the feeling. Now that his ears were attuned to them, Spock could hear every sound they made. If he closed his eyes he could strain his nose to smell them too.
Spock ignored the distracting heat in his gut and marked another question he was grading. This must be what humans talked about when they referred to sex. All the activities he had done with Uhura had not been nearly so - There was a loud gasp from the other room, and the smell got suddenly more potent. - enticing. He would have to discuss this with her.
A cautious head poked out of his office. Spock put down his work and turned to face it.
"Were the facilities satisfactory?"
The head disappeared to be quickly replaced by another with a significantly larger grin. "Yes, thank you. You should try them yourself some time with Uhura."
"Jim!" The other hissed. The second head, Jim, was yanked back into the office, and there was a short scuffle.
The first head popped out again. "Right, uh. Thank you for your time. We did not mean to intrude. We'll just be going now."
The first head - Spock could now guess from the names he'd heard earlier this was 'Bones.' - proceeded past him and out of the classroom with Jim hopping along beside him, ear firmly clamped between two fingers.
Spock listened to their voices bickering down the hallway until they were out of earshot. He turned back to his task and resumed his work at a much more satisfactory efficiency rating. However, he did make note to take Jim's advice in the near future.
-fin-