[LJI Exhibit A: Week 3] Angry Feminist Bitch Calls Shenanigans on Jerkface Young Man

[cheshire23]

[Warning: domestic violence]

I'm angry. Really angry.

This wasn't what I thought I was going to write about, and I wish I wasn't writing it.

But here it is:

A young woman who is very dear to me just walked out on her boyfriend of several years, with their baby in tow.

And, as is so often the case when this sort of thing happens, and has been

Comments

[lrig_rorrim]

As a girl-child who was raised by her father after a divorce, I just have to say: yes yes yes. There are all these weird and stupid conceptions about what being a "father" entails, and for some reason "parenting" isn't really in there? People used to give my dad ENORMOUS amounts of grief because he didn't just get married again right away so I'd "have a mom". I don't hear a lot of single moms getting that treatment, you know? It's generally considered kind of stupid to jump into a relationship and commit yourself and your kid/s to it just so there's a warm body around, in fact. Dads can be parents. Should be, in fact.

And I'm really glad your guy is so awesome. The idea is to have a partner who shares the journey and the load and makes life better for you - so many people have got this weird gender-warfare view of marriage that just makes me cringe.

[cheshire23]

Yeah. I just...if you feel tons of contempt for your partner and everything your partner is...why?

Also, involved dads are awesome. As it turned out, there were different life stages that each of my parents were better at - Mom was awesome with preschool through elementary school, while Dad was (much) better with both me as a very little baby and me as a teenager. Especially when I turned out to be a queer teenager - he was much more equipped to deal with the whole me-coming-out thing and in retrospect, had been dropping hints that he knew for at least a year beforehand.

[jensi08]

She will be so much happier and so will the child...this was such a good piece and made so much sense. It hit home with me since I am a parent.

[halfshellvenus]

I'm reading all these entries where shenanigans are something fairly negative, and that's honestly not what I associate with that word at all.

Be that as it may... I'd have thought we'd be past this by now, when so many dads do far more than their dads ever did. But apart from lingering sexism, there's also the prolonged adolescense thing that seems so prevalent now. The Dad described above is stuck in it (and worse), and many new mothers would probably like to be, but can't choose that over their kids. The same choice the dads should be making, too.

HOW is being a self-serving ass and hitting your girlfriend remotely her fault, though? I hate that you're hearing that as often as you do!

In this case, I guess... breathe, breathe, and celebrate the fact that this woman finally left. It might have taken longer than it should have, but she did it. Thank goodness.

[sevarem]

I'm probably going to get shit from someone for this, but...

I never not showered when our baby was born. I was already struggling with horrific PPD, and one of the things that helped was a daily shower. It was imperative to me that I showered. I absolutely refused to be one of those mothers who complain about not being able to take a shower for days on end because they've had a new baby.

Our baby? Was demanding as a newborn. As all newborns are. The reason I survived...?

Was because my husband stepped the fuck up. Not because I asked him to or begged him to, but because he is the other half of this parenting duo and it's his responsibility, along with mine, to care for the child we willingly created together.

[dreamsreflected]

my first marriage/child rearing experience was very much as described here "too young and abusive and both in need of some counseling" my second attempt, is with a rock star, who like yours doesn't believe he's a rock star, just a dad who loves his babies, and mine :)