(Untitled)

[cherry_chan]

I miss eating at tables. I miss sitting in chairs at tables eating dinner. I miss finding memories at random in my room. I miss the sense of home that has never come back since the hurricane. I miss the friends I drove away, and the future I think I killed. I think every day about horrible things, and sometimes, I just don't think I will survive

Comments

[wwiinngg]

liz, i have a lot of faith in you. you made me a damn good mix and you're one of the only journalers i still read. please be okay. please keep holding on.

[cherry_chan]

it is just difficult sometimes. I like to write about the difficulties of existence in case I am actually in danger. kind of like.. double checking, you know? an actual cry for attention.

I'm glad you liked my mix CD! I worked really hard on it. and my journal. I work really hard on that, too. I work really hard, so I don't think there is anything life threatening to worry about, babe.

[ghostgolem]

i'm sorry. let the rehumanization begin?!

[cherry_chan]

not that simple, though, right? I can stop thinking in stereotypes, possibly, but I can't make others do it. and being a stereotype is a powerful thing, it gives you a sense of identity and dictates your activities and feelings. The more complicated the stereotype, the more tempting it is to spend our lives by somebody elses guidelines, in a world where there is no growth, only horrible stagnation.

but yes. rehumanize. don't be sorry, because I've made mistakes, and I'm going to celebrate that as part of who I am and learn from them.