All That I Have 2/2
Title: All That I Have
Summary: Tag to Abandon all Hope. Sam and Dean are both grieving but Dean's grief seems to foreshadow Sam's pain. Limp Sam/Guilty protective Dean/ Helpful Bobby
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have
Dean stepped out into the open air and winced as the sun hit him full force. How long had the kid been sitting out here anyway? It didn't take long to find Sam because he was asleep on the ground. He cursed silently because he had no friggin' clue how long Sam had been out here to begin with. "Sammy." He called out as he watched his brother blink his eyes open slowly, shielding away from the sun. Alright definitely time to go inside and cool down.
He stepped forward and was about to call his name out again but Sam started to stare off into the distance focusing on something he couldn't see. "Sam what are you doing?" He asked worried at his brother's strange behavior.
"Who are you?"
He froze as he heard the question asked but it wasn't asked to him. What the hell is wrong with Sam? "Sam what are you talking about?" He tried again but Sam began to scoot away as if trying to get away from something but he had no energy to do so but watch in shock at what he didn't know.
"No, no, no, no."
He watched in horror as Sam's body tumbled to the side hitting the dirt. "Sammy!" He yelled spurring into action as he skidded next to his limp body. He turned him over and pulled him up onto his lap shielding him from the hot sun as he began an assessment. Sam's face was burnt red as were his hands and forearms. His face was dry of all sweat, his shirt was soaked but he guessed it was from previous amounts of sweat. He felt sick as he realized what was wrong. Sam wasn't just going loony he was hallucinating. That was a sure sign of one thing…heat stroke. Sam passed out from a heat stroke because you were in there drinking your pains away. He swallowed some of the alcohol down as it threatened to emerge it made him physically sick that while he was in there getting wasted Sam sat out here in the hot sun till he literally passed out.
"It'll be ok." He promised as he swiped away Sam's bangs. Maybe things weren't ok at the moment but he had a job to do.
Ok first thing's first I got to get his temperature down. Dean then tugged Sam's non-compliant body up with him as he slung him over his shoulder. "Thank God Sam decided to sit in front of the house." He prayed silently to himself.
He burst through the doors as Bobby wheeled over to him quickly.
"What happened?"
"He passed out from the heat; we need to get his temperature down now!" He commanded as he laid Sam down on the couch and began stripping him of all clothes except his boxers. "Sorry Sammy you'll thank me later."
"I got the water ready Dean."
"Alright!" He yelled back as he picked Sam up again slinging him on his shoulder. He dashed into the bathroom almost hitting Sam's head on impending objects along the way. He saw that Bobby had the water all ready so he settled Sam into the luke-warm water.
"No co…cold." Sam stuttered out.
Dean bent down as Bobby handed him a wash cloth. "Shhh its ok it'll feel better soon." He cooed as Sam's struggle to get out lessened and he settled letting the water cool his fevered skin. He drug the wash cloth along his chest and rung it out over his face getting a grimace of discomfort from Sam. He sighed in relief as he realized it had been too close.
"How's he doing?" Bobby asked as he was wheeling his arms exhausted. The things you do for family.
"Better the fever's going down drastically." He stated as he felt Sam's forehead although still hot it wasn't as hot as he felt outside. He made it in time. The finality of the words hit hard, if he would have had one more shot or one more beer Sam could have possibly died outside in a haze of hallucinated dreams. Though he never did check Sam's temperature before he knew it must have been pushing 100 or more he got there on time, he saved Sam. He stared at the limp body in the tub and really stopped to think of how radically different his perspectives are from Sam. Sam has a right to grieve just like he did though he doesn't agree with the choice of his actions he see's the reasoning behind them. It's bringing up so many memories right after dad died. He thought to himself as he remembered the many night's he would drink till he made himself sick and he had no clue where Sam was and back then he had no care. Hell while he was drinking earlier he had no care where Sam was. Had he receded that much? He sighed as he continued to drag the wash cloth across Sam's fevered body.
"I think you can take him out now."
Bobby's voice shook him out of a daze as he stopped cooling Sam down with the rag. Boy was he glad Bobby was here or have been a wreck…hell he already is.
"Alright Sammy time to get out." He said softly as he pulled gently at his arm to elevate him enough so he can hook his arm behind his back. He put both hands beneath Sam's armpits as he hefted him up. He listened to the water drain and thanked Bobby was there to guide him.
"Here Dean."
He looked around to see a towel and he gradually took it and reminded himself to worship Bobby like a king. He tried his best to dry Sam off with one hand since it's hard enough balancing a 200 plus pound brother. Sam was no where near coherent to help or hear the quiet words of comfort and forgiveness but he needed to ask he needed to beg forgiveness.
He looked around again as he spotted what he was looking for a fresh new pair of boxers. "Boy am I gonna have blackmail on you." His quip died on his lips as he starred at Sam's limp body in his hands. How could I have let this happen?
He quickly slipped the old pair off and put the new one on as Sam began slipping down back into the tub he hadn't even removed him from yet. "Whoa no more baths for you pal." He quickly caught him as he dragged him out of the tub and did the normal regime of slinging him over his shoulder.
He walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom they were sharing. He saw Bobby already had everything ready even down to the ice-packs. Damn that man is a God.
He gently laid Sam down in the bed as he began positioning the ice-packs in various places. He pulled the cover up and fell back onto the chair that magically got put their.
"How?" He asked as he leaned into the comfortable upholstery.
"I'm legless not helpless. Anyway you did all you could do, Sam's temperature should come down in an hour or so." Bobby quickly added as he saw Dean look at Sam guiltily.
"I know, but I mean damn it Bobby you were right."
"When am I never right?" He joked but quieted as Dean shot him daggers. "Ok I was right and you were wrong but we all make mistakes Dean it's what makes us human. I'm as much at fault as you are. I saw Sam sitting out their a while ago I should have ordered him to get his ass inside."
"I shouldn't make mistakes where Sam is concerned though. I should be better, if I'm alive for one reason and that one reason only is too keep Sam safe then why am I screwing up so much?" Dean yelled as he stood again, he dropped his earlier thoughts but this happening had raised them to the extreme. He never thought this hard on something before he never pondered 'what if's' so much.
"I…" Bobby stopped as he watched Sam begin to stir in sleep probably from the yelling. He thanked Dean's loud mouth as he didn't want to answer that he didn't have an answer. He wasn't the one that could tell Dean it was going to be all better that was Sam's gig.
"Sammy." Dean quickly quieted as he went to his brother and felt his forehead relived that it was now just warm. They were under the radar it wasn't as serious a situation as it was before. "You with me?" He asked as Sam turned in his sleep.
"Hot, Hell, Luc'fr." Sam mumbled as he tried to get away from Lucifer but he was trapped he had a hold of his hand.
"Sammy you're just dreaming open your eyes." He said horror stricken. Who knew three words mumbled out of your brother's mouth can send you into a spiral of fear?
Sam's eyes popped open as he started to breathe heavy, trying to vain to get his hand back.
"Sammy calm down it's just me. Just breathe Sam, breathe." He coached as Sam started to hyperventilate.
"Dean?" Sam asked but winced as his voice sounded terrible. What happened? Was Dean in Hell again too?
"Yeah, Sam you moron you passed out from heat stroke. What were you thinking sitting out there in the hot sun?" He interrogated as Sam gave him a perplexed look.
"Heat stroke?" Wasn't he suppose to be in Hell? Wait heatstroke, people hallucinate from heatstroke. So all of that had been a hallucination. Just a dream, a dream.
"Yeah heat stroke. Why the hell did you sit out there all day?" Dean asked as Sam began to calm down his breathing evening. Should I say something like you scared me to death? Or I'm sorry I didn't protect you? He didn't even know the right words to say, to tell the truth there probably were none. There wasn't even anything he could say to make this right not in his mind anyway. This incident wouldn't be going away for a long time, of course it's going to get buried pretty quickly out of our normal conversations but in the my mind it's getting stored up there for awhile till I finally learn to get things right.
"I'm sorry." He blurted out before Sam had a chance to respond. Better to get it over with then get caught up on it later. That's one lesson I at least learned pretty damn well. "I know I've been an ass lately and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you need." A lone tear escaped as his quickly wiped it away.
"What? You're sorry, why are you apologizing?" Sam asked in confusion. Didn't Dean know he screwed up; he was the one that killed two innocent people.
"I just told you why dumbass, are you going deaf on me." Dean joked as Sam continued to stare at him like he had two heads. Ok best if we change the subject before Sam asked more questions. "Sam you thirsty, I'm sure you are?"
"Sure." He replied as he noted Dean's tactic of quickly changing the subject. Why was Dean apologizing? Yeah he heard but it doesn't make any sense, doesn't starting the apocalypse ring any bells.
There is a darkness deep in you
A frightening magic I cling to
Bobby watched the two from afar and was happy that Sam was ok and talking he gave them both a good scare. He also was mad that dumb and dumber didn't realize that each one was blaming themselves for the events that went down. So when Dean tried to apologize Sam looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He really wanted to smack the tar out of both and make them see but it's something they had to do on their own. "Damn idgits." He muttered to himself as he wheeled into his room.
Give me a chance to hold on
Give me a chance to hold on
Give me a chance to hold on
Just give me something to hold onto
The early morning rose fast as it hit Dean in the eyes he turned over trying to cover his eyes but quickly bobbed his head up as he remembered the previous day's events.
"Sam?" He questioned as he looked at the other bed noticing it was empty. "Sammy?"
He began to panic as his voice rose. He hopped out of bed and went to the bathroom and pounded on the door. "Sam you in there?"
"Yes I'll be out in a minute, geez."
"It's ok just checking." He sighed as he trudged into the kitchen finding Bobby reading the paper.
"Sleep well princess." Bobby teased as he could see the worry lines still there.
"Bite me."
"I'll take that as a no. So how's Sam?" Bobby asked as he read boring articles in the paper.
"Don't know yet haven't seen him with my own two eyes." He retorted as he smelled the coffee brewing. He heard the creak of the bathroom door open and the familiar shuffle of his brother's footsteps.
"Good morning." Sam said as he made his way into the kitchen his hair dripping wet.
"Why are you such a ball of sunshine all of the sudden?" Dean asked suddenly as Sam's smiley face greeted him instead of the gloomy brooding face he normally got. He also looked a lot better; his face wasn't flushed with fever it held something better…sun burn. He grinned at the torment.
"Nothing just saying good morning would you rather the phrase fuck off instead." Sam grumbled back as he poured himself a cup of coffee wincing as moving his hands hurt to due to sun burn. His forearms were still sore as well. It even hurt to smile, to just clench his jaw hurt. In reality this sucked.
"Sorry I asked but I prefer good morning just to let you know." Dean joked as he took a sip of coffee.
"Why are you so quiet Bobby?"
"Just enjoying the show is all." Bobby smiled as he knew this is how this would stay they wouldn't let each other know their true feelings. He couldn't tell them either because well because they had too figure it out. They had to grow up and learn these things they had to get back into synch.
"Hey Sam." Dean asked as Sam sat down in the chair trying to get comfortable.
"Yeah?" Sam grimily replied as each tug of his mouth hurt.
"Look on the Brightside you'll have a killer tan after you start to peel." Dean smiled as Sam began to frown but quickly regretted it as it aggravated is sun burn.
"You know I hate you."
"I love you too." Dean smiled as Sam began to smile but instantly regretted it as it tugged at the sunburn around his mouth. Though nothing was said he felt like it opened up new doors for himself and Sam. It sure taught him one hell of a lesson. Never leave Sam out in the sun because he'll get a killer tan and leave older brother looking like a ghost. He smiled to himself as he looked over at his sibling. This is how it's suppose to be Sammy you an me against the world even if it's the sun.
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear now you are all that I have
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear now you are all that I have
The End
Sorry for not posting them all together. I've had a pretty crazy day today so part two had to wait a little
Summary: Tag to Abandon all Hope. Sam and Dean are both grieving but Dean's grief seems to foreshadow Sam's pain. Limp Sam/Guilty protective Dean/ Helpful Bobby
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear 'cause you are all that I have
Dean stepped out into the open air and winced as the sun hit him full force. How long had the kid been sitting out here anyway? It didn't take long to find Sam because he was asleep on the ground. He cursed silently because he had no friggin' clue how long Sam had been out here to begin with. "Sammy." He called out as he watched his brother blink his eyes open slowly, shielding away from the sun. Alright definitely time to go inside and cool down.
He stepped forward and was about to call his name out again but Sam started to stare off into the distance focusing on something he couldn't see. "Sam what are you doing?" He asked worried at his brother's strange behavior.
"Who are you?"
He froze as he heard the question asked but it wasn't asked to him. What the hell is wrong with Sam? "Sam what are you talking about?" He tried again but Sam began to scoot away as if trying to get away from something but he had no energy to do so but watch in shock at what he didn't know.
"No, no, no, no."
He watched in horror as Sam's body tumbled to the side hitting the dirt. "Sammy!" He yelled spurring into action as he skidded next to his limp body. He turned him over and pulled him up onto his lap shielding him from the hot sun as he began an assessment. Sam's face was burnt red as were his hands and forearms. His face was dry of all sweat, his shirt was soaked but he guessed it was from previous amounts of sweat. He felt sick as he realized what was wrong. Sam wasn't just going loony he was hallucinating. That was a sure sign of one thing…heat stroke. Sam passed out from a heat stroke because you were in there drinking your pains away. He swallowed some of the alcohol down as it threatened to emerge it made him physically sick that while he was in there getting wasted Sam sat out here in the hot sun till he literally passed out.
"It'll be ok." He promised as he swiped away Sam's bangs. Maybe things weren't ok at the moment but he had a job to do.
Ok first thing's first I got to get his temperature down. Dean then tugged Sam's non-compliant body up with him as he slung him over his shoulder. "Thank God Sam decided to sit in front of the house." He prayed silently to himself.
He burst through the doors as Bobby wheeled over to him quickly.
"What happened?"
"He passed out from the heat; we need to get his temperature down now!" He commanded as he laid Sam down on the couch and began stripping him of all clothes except his boxers. "Sorry Sammy you'll thank me later."
"I got the water ready Dean."
"Alright!" He yelled back as he picked Sam up again slinging him on his shoulder. He dashed into the bathroom almost hitting Sam's head on impending objects along the way. He saw that Bobby had the water all ready so he settled Sam into the luke-warm water.
"No co…cold." Sam stuttered out.
Dean bent down as Bobby handed him a wash cloth. "Shhh its ok it'll feel better soon." He cooed as Sam's struggle to get out lessened and he settled letting the water cool his fevered skin. He drug the wash cloth along his chest and rung it out over his face getting a grimace of discomfort from Sam. He sighed in relief as he realized it had been too close.
"How's he doing?" Bobby asked as he was wheeling his arms exhausted. The things you do for family.
"Better the fever's going down drastically." He stated as he felt Sam's forehead although still hot it wasn't as hot as he felt outside. He made it in time. The finality of the words hit hard, if he would have had one more shot or one more beer Sam could have possibly died outside in a haze of hallucinated dreams. Though he never did check Sam's temperature before he knew it must have been pushing 100 or more he got there on time, he saved Sam. He stared at the limp body in the tub and really stopped to think of how radically different his perspectives are from Sam. Sam has a right to grieve just like he did though he doesn't agree with the choice of his actions he see's the reasoning behind them. It's bringing up so many memories right after dad died. He thought to himself as he remembered the many night's he would drink till he made himself sick and he had no clue where Sam was and back then he had no care. Hell while he was drinking earlier he had no care where Sam was. Had he receded that much? He sighed as he continued to drag the wash cloth across Sam's fevered body.
"I think you can take him out now."
Bobby's voice shook him out of a daze as he stopped cooling Sam down with the rag. Boy was he glad Bobby was here or have been a wreck…hell he already is.
"Alright Sammy time to get out." He said softly as he pulled gently at his arm to elevate him enough so he can hook his arm behind his back. He put both hands beneath Sam's armpits as he hefted him up. He listened to the water drain and thanked Bobby was there to guide him.
"Here Dean."
He looked around to see a towel and he gradually took it and reminded himself to worship Bobby like a king. He tried his best to dry Sam off with one hand since it's hard enough balancing a 200 plus pound brother. Sam was no where near coherent to help or hear the quiet words of comfort and forgiveness but he needed to ask he needed to beg forgiveness.
He looked around again as he spotted what he was looking for a fresh new pair of boxers. "Boy am I gonna have blackmail on you." His quip died on his lips as he starred at Sam's limp body in his hands. How could I have let this happen?
He quickly slipped the old pair off and put the new one on as Sam began slipping down back into the tub he hadn't even removed him from yet. "Whoa no more baths for you pal." He quickly caught him as he dragged him out of the tub and did the normal regime of slinging him over his shoulder.
He walked out of the bathroom and into the bedroom they were sharing. He saw Bobby already had everything ready even down to the ice-packs. Damn that man is a God.
He gently laid Sam down in the bed as he began positioning the ice-packs in various places. He pulled the cover up and fell back onto the chair that magically got put their.
"How?" He asked as he leaned into the comfortable upholstery.
"I'm legless not helpless. Anyway you did all you could do, Sam's temperature should come down in an hour or so." Bobby quickly added as he saw Dean look at Sam guiltily.
"I know, but I mean damn it Bobby you were right."
"When am I never right?" He joked but quieted as Dean shot him daggers. "Ok I was right and you were wrong but we all make mistakes Dean it's what makes us human. I'm as much at fault as you are. I saw Sam sitting out their a while ago I should have ordered him to get his ass inside."
"I shouldn't make mistakes where Sam is concerned though. I should be better, if I'm alive for one reason and that one reason only is too keep Sam safe then why am I screwing up so much?" Dean yelled as he stood again, he dropped his earlier thoughts but this happening had raised them to the extreme. He never thought this hard on something before he never pondered 'what if's' so much.
"I…" Bobby stopped as he watched Sam begin to stir in sleep probably from the yelling. He thanked Dean's loud mouth as he didn't want to answer that he didn't have an answer. He wasn't the one that could tell Dean it was going to be all better that was Sam's gig.
"Sammy." Dean quickly quieted as he went to his brother and felt his forehead relived that it was now just warm. They were under the radar it wasn't as serious a situation as it was before. "You with me?" He asked as Sam turned in his sleep.
"Hot, Hell, Luc'fr." Sam mumbled as he tried to get away from Lucifer but he was trapped he had a hold of his hand.
"Sammy you're just dreaming open your eyes." He said horror stricken. Who knew three words mumbled out of your brother's mouth can send you into a spiral of fear?
Sam's eyes popped open as he started to breathe heavy, trying to vain to get his hand back.
"Sammy calm down it's just me. Just breathe Sam, breathe." He coached as Sam started to hyperventilate.
"Dean?" Sam asked but winced as his voice sounded terrible. What happened? Was Dean in Hell again too?
"Yeah, Sam you moron you passed out from heat stroke. What were you thinking sitting out there in the hot sun?" He interrogated as Sam gave him a perplexed look.
"Heat stroke?" Wasn't he suppose to be in Hell? Wait heatstroke, people hallucinate from heatstroke. So all of that had been a hallucination. Just a dream, a dream.
"Yeah heat stroke. Why the hell did you sit out there all day?" Dean asked as Sam began to calm down his breathing evening. Should I say something like you scared me to death? Or I'm sorry I didn't protect you? He didn't even know the right words to say, to tell the truth there probably were none. There wasn't even anything he could say to make this right not in his mind anyway. This incident wouldn't be going away for a long time, of course it's going to get buried pretty quickly out of our normal conversations but in the my mind it's getting stored up there for awhile till I finally learn to get things right.
"I'm sorry." He blurted out before Sam had a chance to respond. Better to get it over with then get caught up on it later. That's one lesson I at least learned pretty damn well. "I know I've been an ass lately and for that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be what you need." A lone tear escaped as his quickly wiped it away.
"What? You're sorry, why are you apologizing?" Sam asked in confusion. Didn't Dean know he screwed up; he was the one that killed two innocent people.
"I just told you why dumbass, are you going deaf on me." Dean joked as Sam continued to stare at him like he had two heads. Ok best if we change the subject before Sam asked more questions. "Sam you thirsty, I'm sure you are?"
"Sure." He replied as he noted Dean's tactic of quickly changing the subject. Why was Dean apologizing? Yeah he heard but it doesn't make any sense, doesn't starting the apocalypse ring any bells.
There is a darkness deep in you
A frightening magic I cling to
Bobby watched the two from afar and was happy that Sam was ok and talking he gave them both a good scare. He also was mad that dumb and dumber didn't realize that each one was blaming themselves for the events that went down. So when Dean tried to apologize Sam looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He really wanted to smack the tar out of both and make them see but it's something they had to do on their own. "Damn idgits." He muttered to himself as he wheeled into his room.
Give me a chance to hold on
Give me a chance to hold on
Give me a chance to hold on
Just give me something to hold onto
The early morning rose fast as it hit Dean in the eyes he turned over trying to cover his eyes but quickly bobbed his head up as he remembered the previous day's events.
"Sam?" He questioned as he looked at the other bed noticing it was empty. "Sammy?"
He began to panic as his voice rose. He hopped out of bed and went to the bathroom and pounded on the door. "Sam you in there?"
"Yes I'll be out in a minute, geez."
"It's ok just checking." He sighed as he trudged into the kitchen finding Bobby reading the paper.
"Sleep well princess." Bobby teased as he could see the worry lines still there.
"Bite me."
"I'll take that as a no. So how's Sam?" Bobby asked as he read boring articles in the paper.
"Don't know yet haven't seen him with my own two eyes." He retorted as he smelled the coffee brewing. He heard the creak of the bathroom door open and the familiar shuffle of his brother's footsteps.
"Good morning." Sam said as he made his way into the kitchen his hair dripping wet.
"Why are you such a ball of sunshine all of the sudden?" Dean asked suddenly as Sam's smiley face greeted him instead of the gloomy brooding face he normally got. He also looked a lot better; his face wasn't flushed with fever it held something better…sun burn. He grinned at the torment.
"Nothing just saying good morning would you rather the phrase fuck off instead." Sam grumbled back as he poured himself a cup of coffee wincing as moving his hands hurt to due to sun burn. His forearms were still sore as well. It even hurt to smile, to just clench his jaw hurt. In reality this sucked.
"Sorry I asked but I prefer good morning just to let you know." Dean joked as he took a sip of coffee.
"Why are you so quiet Bobby?"
"Just enjoying the show is all." Bobby smiled as he knew this is how this would stay they wouldn't let each other know their true feelings. He couldn't tell them either because well because they had too figure it out. They had to grow up and learn these things they had to get back into synch.
"Hey Sam." Dean asked as Sam sat down in the chair trying to get comfortable.
"Yeah?" Sam grimily replied as each tug of his mouth hurt.
"Look on the Brightside you'll have a killer tan after you start to peel." Dean smiled as Sam began to frown but quickly regretted it as it aggravated is sun burn.
"You know I hate you."
"I love you too." Dean smiled as Sam began to smile but instantly regretted it as it tugged at the sunburn around his mouth. Though nothing was said he felt like it opened up new doors for himself and Sam. It sure taught him one hell of a lesson. Never leave Sam out in the sun because he'll get a killer tan and leave older brother looking like a ghost. He smiled to himself as he looked over at his sibling. This is how it's suppose to be Sammy you an me against the world even if it's the sun.
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear now you are all that I have
It's so clear now that you are all that I have
I have no fear now you are all that I have
The End
Sorry for not posting them all together. I've had a pretty crazy day today so part two had to wait a little