A Hole In The Wall That Surrounds Me
Title: A Hole In The Wall That Surrounds Me
Author: cherry916
Beta: moviegeek03
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Even though Jared has a rare phobia of being tied up he assured Jensen he was going to be fine. Of course that is before he actually has to face the scene and he seems to be in way over his head.
A/N: This is for ash48 who gifted me with extra icon space earlier which you can see I went bananas with so I promised her a fic for it and I really hope she likes this.
This gif was made by a fabulous young lady over on tumblr known as: mcakeface I am holding no claim over it.
It started out like any normal day for Jared.
He untangled himself from his bed and sheets and made his way to the bathroom. Same routine of taking a piss, showering, patting his hair down to some semblance of normal and throwing on clothes.
Of course everything would be normal if he wasn’t silently freaking out.
Sitting on the toilet in the bathroom, he took in a shaky breath as he read the scene over and over again.
‘For this scene we tie Sam up’
This little sentiment wouldn’t bother a respectable actor. Wouldn’t bother Jensen…Jared thought gloomily.
Of course Jared had to be in the small percentage of people with Merinthophobia-fear of being bound or tied up.
It was so much easier early on in season 1 because then the ropes were fake, and he only had to do a take for maybe 5 minutes then he was done. Sure he got worked up about it and his skin itched for probably days where the rope had touched him, but after that he didn’t really have to worry about it.
‘With duct tape’
That was the part that scared him. Worse than ropes or any other bonding agent…he feared duct tape. Ok yeah that sounds highly corny and lame especially coming from a man of his stature, however duct tape constricted you. Its sticky substance bonded to your skin and wouldn’t give an inch if he tried. Just the thought of them putting duct tape on him made his skin crawl. He shivered and rolled up the script setting it on the counter. Standing up, he glanced into the mirror and silently prepared himself for the scene to come.
Suddenly a loud bang on the door made him jump. His heart thudded until he heard Jensen’s voice.
“Are you done primping in the mirror princess? I need to take a leak!”
Jensen sounded highly pissed but Jared had to admit Jensen was adorable when he was all sleepy eyed in the mornings and stumbled around until he had his coffee.
“Yes dear,” Jared muttered sarcastically while checking himself in the mirror one last time.
Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the script and opened the door to his boyfriend rubbing his eyes all drowsily. A fond smile grew on his face and he couldn’t resist leaning in to give Jensen a quick peck on the lips.
“Hmmm,” Jensen hummed. “Thank you…but what was that for?”
“For being adorable.” Jensen rolled his eyes and tried to pull Jared in for another kiss. But a huge hand to his face stopped him from his pursuits.
“No you have morning breath; kissy time will resume after you brush your teeth,” Jared said sternly while smiling as Jensen gave him a bitch face and huffed.
“And don’t forget to floss!” Jared chimed in as Jensen headed into the bathroom.
“Shut up Mr. Clean!”
“Yes dear.” Jared said just to annoy Jensen.
“And stop calling me dear!”
Snickering to himself, Jared almost forgot about the upcoming scene today and why he was so tense in the first place. His smile slipped and a frown appeared in its place. God how was he suppose to get through this?
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Jared jumped and turned around to see Jensen leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom. He had a knowing look on his face and Jared just wanted to punch it off his cute little face. “Jesus Jensen! Stop sneaking up behind me like that!”
“Jay…”
“Don’t,” Jared warned. He didn’t want Jensen to pity him or feel sorry for him. He just wanted to get through the damn scene and be done with it. Add to it the fact that half the crew members didn’t know of his phobia…he didn’t want any of them thinking different of him for it.
“C’mere,” Jensen stated while wiggling his fingers toward himself. Jared huffed but obliged him nonetheless. He sunk into Jensen’s arms and breathed shakily. He could feel Jensen’s strong arm holding him around the waist while his other hand gently stroked his hair.
“It’ll be ok. I’ll be there with you the whole time,” Jensen cooed softly.
“I know,” Jared whispered. “But I don’t want to freak out in front of everyone.”
“Baby, you won’t freak out and if you do, who cares?” Jensen replied.
Jared slumped and closed his eyes. He cared is what he wanted to say, but he knew Jensen was right. It didn’t matter what those people thought, not really. All that mattered to Jared was Jensen.
Sighing, he unwound himself from Jensen’s grasp and put on a slightly confident smile. It was definitely sturdier than he felt right now since he was positive that a small breeze could blow him over. Yet the smile reassured Jensen, who smiled back and allowed his worried look to vanish.
“Ya see…you’ll do fine today. I know you will.”
Jared grinned a little and let Jensen kiss him. Afterwards, Jensen was off getting ready so they could go to set.
Jared gulped and prayed that the day would go over smoothly.
Of course in good ol’ Jared fashion, nothing went right. The coffee Cliff buys for them on their way there get’s spilt. Then they have to spend ten minutes at a gas station cleaning it off the seats. After that, when they were getting back in the car, Jensen accidentally slammed his finger in the door which led Jared to spend five minutes fussing over it and tending to it.
So to put it mildly Jared wasn’t in a good mood.
“We’re here guys! You better get your assess to wardrobe or Kripke will have your heads,” Cliff warned as he pulled into the lot and stopped the car.
Jared wasted no time in opening the door of the SUV and bolting to the wardrobe and makeup trailer. He knew Jensen was right behind him the entire time.
In the craziness, Jensen didn’t really get a chance to talk to Jared before his scene. Jensen ended up stuck getting his makeup done while Jared prepped for the scene.
Jared felt his heart thud as he moved into the room where a table sat. Everything looked so daunting and scary, as “Supernatural” should, but it just made Jared feel overwhelmed.
Jake Abel was sitting in one of the chairs off to the left, as well as their guest star who played his sister, playing his mother-whoa that was certainly loaded.
He gave a small wave to him and received one in return.
“Alright Jared, hop up on the table!” one of the PA’s shouted, making Jared jump slightly. With his legs trembling, he carefully slid on the table and laid down.
“We’re going to get the tape out and tie you down for the scene.” This time there was a new voice, one he didn’t recognize. It was really hard to look up while lying down, but Jared could make out that the guy was in his late twenties and had this weird look in his eyes that made Jared uncomfortable. Looking to the side he sighed when he noticed Jensen was nowhere in sight. Damn him and his pretty boy face. Jared thought bitterly. It always takes longer for Jensen to get his makeup and hair done.
The guy busily strapped him down with duct tape and rope. Jared tried not to shudder in revulsion when he felt the sticky substance across his chest, constricting him, binding him. Swallowing, Jared asked, “How long is this shot going to take?”
The guy looked surprised that Jared had said anything and stopped what he was doing. “What?”
“How long will this shot take?”
The guy smirked and tightened the duct tape even more. “So long as you don’t screw the shot up, it shouldn’t take long.”
Jared swallowed and tried not to let panic well up inside him.
The guy looked sideways to see if anyone was watching then he bent down low and whispered in Jared’s ear. “Though I really do hope you screw up. You look fucking hot all bound like this.”
Jared’s eyes snapped open but with one last tug on the ropes circulating his wrists, the guy was gone.
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Jared chanted in his mind while his chest heaved with the effort to calm down, however Jared couldn’t shake what the guy said.
“Alright we’re on in 3.” Phil yelled to everyone on set.
Jared watched shakily as Jake and the guest actor who was playing his mom-Jared feels bad for not knowing her name but he was too freaked out about this scene to really comprehend anything else-made their way on set.
At first the scene started out normally. Jake recited his lines, the mom recited hers, Jared his…then a few mishaps happened.
One of the lighting guy’s bulbs accidentally blew so they spent ten minutes getting another one and putting it into place. Then after that Jake stumbled and almost took a head dive to the floor. Everyone was laughing at the potential of it being in the gag reel but Jared was just sweating.
He could feel his wrists chafing as he tugged on them frantically. All of the sudden it seemed as if the room was spinning.
“Hey Jared, are you ok man? You don’t look so good.” He heard Jake whisper but all he could do was gasp for air like a fish would if it was out of water.
“Hey guys I think we need to untie Jared…he ain’t looking so hot!”
Jared’s eyeballs rolled until almost the whites were showing. “Jensen…” he whispered.
“Jensen?” Jake repeats. “Hey anyone know where Jensen is?”
After that Jared wasn’t sure what happened. He heard raised voices and Jake’s voice still shouting, but then he completely blanked for a few moments.
When he came to, he wasn’t strapped down on the table anymore. He was instead in his trailer and laying on something soft. Moaning he opened his eyes to see Jensen’s beautiful face peering down at him. His green eyes shined with worry and concern and so much fucking love it made Jared’s heart burst.
“Hey…” Jared croaked.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jensen asked softly, carding his fingers through Jared’s hair, a nervous habit of his.
“Like shit. What happened?” Jared questioned confusedly as he tried to sit up. Jensen’s hand pushed him firmly back to the couch, stopping him from moving.
“You freaked out and sorta fainted.”
That got his attention. “What?!?”
Jensen snickered, and at the moment Jared really wanted to strangle him.
“Calm down. I told them you got too hot and you passed out from the heat…which really your sweating helped me pull that story off.”
Jared breathed a sigh of relief and settled back onto the couch. “You’re such a great boyfriend, you know that?”
The smile that Jensen produced was worth the effort of stroking Jensen’s ego. “I know I am. Now Phil gave you some time to chill out so we have about an hour before we go back on.”
Jared frowned. “Will you be there?” he asked hopefully.
A guilty expression splashed across Jensen’s face and Jared hated that he put it there. “Yeah I will and I’m sorry I wasn’t there baby. Jeannie took one look at my finger and made me go see the on-set doctor.” Jensen waved his now wrapped up finger around.
“What did the doctor say about it?”
Jensen chuckled. “I jammed it but it should be fine in a few days.”
After that silence lapsed between them. Jared calmed down enough that his eyes began to droop again. He thought of today and how he has come to realize how much Jensen meant to him and how he couldn’t function without this man in his life.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you too,” Jensen replied, adding a kiss to Jared’s lips for extra emphasis.
Suddenly Jared remembered something from this little ordeal and the moment was just too good to pass it up. “Hey Jen…?”
“Yeah Jay?”
“You know that one new P.A…what’s his name?” Jared began with a wicked smirk on his face.
“Yeah his name is Paul. I had lunch with him yesterday…why?” Jensen asked uneasily.
Jared smiled brightly and said, “Oh nothing…except he hit on me when he was tying me up.”
“What!?”
Jared laughed as Jensen shrieked like a mad man. He enjoyed watching Jensen rant and rave at his expense.
He snuggled into the couch and let Jensen’s angry rambling put him to sleep.
The End
Author: cherry916
Beta: moviegeek03
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Even though Jared has a rare phobia of being tied up he assured Jensen he was going to be fine. Of course that is before he actually has to face the scene and he seems to be in way over his head.
A/N: This is for ash48 who gifted me with extra icon space earlier which you can see I went bananas with so I promised her a fic for it and I really hope she likes this.
This gif was made by a fabulous young lady over on tumblr known as: mcakeface I am holding no claim over it.
It started out like any normal day for Jared.
He untangled himself from his bed and sheets and made his way to the bathroom. Same routine of taking a piss, showering, patting his hair down to some semblance of normal and throwing on clothes.
Of course everything would be normal if he wasn’t silently freaking out.
Sitting on the toilet in the bathroom, he took in a shaky breath as he read the scene over and over again.
‘For this scene we tie Sam up’
This little sentiment wouldn’t bother a respectable actor. Wouldn’t bother Jensen…Jared thought gloomily.
Of course Jared had to be in the small percentage of people with Merinthophobia-fear of being bound or tied up.
It was so much easier early on in season 1 because then the ropes were fake, and he only had to do a take for maybe 5 minutes then he was done. Sure he got worked up about it and his skin itched for probably days where the rope had touched him, but after that he didn’t really have to worry about it.
‘With duct tape’
That was the part that scared him. Worse than ropes or any other bonding agent…he feared duct tape. Ok yeah that sounds highly corny and lame especially coming from a man of his stature, however duct tape constricted you. Its sticky substance bonded to your skin and wouldn’t give an inch if he tried. Just the thought of them putting duct tape on him made his skin crawl. He shivered and rolled up the script setting it on the counter. Standing up, he glanced into the mirror and silently prepared himself for the scene to come.
Suddenly a loud bang on the door made him jump. His heart thudded until he heard Jensen’s voice.
“Are you done primping in the mirror princess? I need to take a leak!”
Jensen sounded highly pissed but Jared had to admit Jensen was adorable when he was all sleepy eyed in the mornings and stumbled around until he had his coffee.
“Yes dear,” Jared muttered sarcastically while checking himself in the mirror one last time.
Taking a deep breath, he grabbed the script and opened the door to his boyfriend rubbing his eyes all drowsily. A fond smile grew on his face and he couldn’t resist leaning in to give Jensen a quick peck on the lips.
“Hmmm,” Jensen hummed. “Thank you…but what was that for?”
“For being adorable.” Jensen rolled his eyes and tried to pull Jared in for another kiss. But a huge hand to his face stopped him from his pursuits.
“No you have morning breath; kissy time will resume after you brush your teeth,” Jared said sternly while smiling as Jensen gave him a bitch face and huffed.
“And don’t forget to floss!” Jared chimed in as Jensen headed into the bathroom.
“Shut up Mr. Clean!”
“Yes dear.” Jared said just to annoy Jensen.
“And stop calling me dear!”
Snickering to himself, Jared almost forgot about the upcoming scene today and why he was so tense in the first place. His smile slipped and a frown appeared in its place. God how was he suppose to get through this?
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Jared jumped and turned around to see Jensen leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom. He had a knowing look on his face and Jared just wanted to punch it off his cute little face. “Jesus Jensen! Stop sneaking up behind me like that!”
“Jay…”
“Don’t,” Jared warned. He didn’t want Jensen to pity him or feel sorry for him. He just wanted to get through the damn scene and be done with it. Add to it the fact that half the crew members didn’t know of his phobia…he didn’t want any of them thinking different of him for it.
“C’mere,” Jensen stated while wiggling his fingers toward himself. Jared huffed but obliged him nonetheless. He sunk into Jensen’s arms and breathed shakily. He could feel Jensen’s strong arm holding him around the waist while his other hand gently stroked his hair.
“It’ll be ok. I’ll be there with you the whole time,” Jensen cooed softly.
“I know,” Jared whispered. “But I don’t want to freak out in front of everyone.”
“Baby, you won’t freak out and if you do, who cares?” Jensen replied.
Jared slumped and closed his eyes. He cared is what he wanted to say, but he knew Jensen was right. It didn’t matter what those people thought, not really. All that mattered to Jared was Jensen.
Sighing, he unwound himself from Jensen’s grasp and put on a slightly confident smile. It was definitely sturdier than he felt right now since he was positive that a small breeze could blow him over. Yet the smile reassured Jensen, who smiled back and allowed his worried look to vanish.
“Ya see…you’ll do fine today. I know you will.”
Jared grinned a little and let Jensen kiss him. Afterwards, Jensen was off getting ready so they could go to set.
Jared gulped and prayed that the day would go over smoothly.
Of course in good ol’ Jared fashion, nothing went right. The coffee Cliff buys for them on their way there get’s spilt. Then they have to spend ten minutes at a gas station cleaning it off the seats. After that, when they were getting back in the car, Jensen accidentally slammed his finger in the door which led Jared to spend five minutes fussing over it and tending to it.
So to put it mildly Jared wasn’t in a good mood.
“We’re here guys! You better get your assess to wardrobe or Kripke will have your heads,” Cliff warned as he pulled into the lot and stopped the car.
Jared wasted no time in opening the door of the SUV and bolting to the wardrobe and makeup trailer. He knew Jensen was right behind him the entire time.
In the craziness, Jensen didn’t really get a chance to talk to Jared before his scene. Jensen ended up stuck getting his makeup done while Jared prepped for the scene.
Jared felt his heart thud as he moved into the room where a table sat. Everything looked so daunting and scary, as “Supernatural” should, but it just made Jared feel overwhelmed.
Jake Abel was sitting in one of the chairs off to the left, as well as their guest star who played his sister, playing his mother-whoa that was certainly loaded.
He gave a small wave to him and received one in return.
“Alright Jared, hop up on the table!” one of the PA’s shouted, making Jared jump slightly. With his legs trembling, he carefully slid on the table and laid down.
“We’re going to get the tape out and tie you down for the scene.” This time there was a new voice, one he didn’t recognize. It was really hard to look up while lying down, but Jared could make out that the guy was in his late twenties and had this weird look in his eyes that made Jared uncomfortable. Looking to the side he sighed when he noticed Jensen was nowhere in sight. Damn him and his pretty boy face. Jared thought bitterly. It always takes longer for Jensen to get his makeup and hair done.
The guy busily strapped him down with duct tape and rope. Jared tried not to shudder in revulsion when he felt the sticky substance across his chest, constricting him, binding him. Swallowing, Jared asked, “How long is this shot going to take?”
The guy looked surprised that Jared had said anything and stopped what he was doing. “What?”
“How long will this shot take?”
The guy smirked and tightened the duct tape even more. “So long as you don’t screw the shot up, it shouldn’t take long.”
Jared swallowed and tried not to let panic well up inside him.
The guy looked sideways to see if anyone was watching then he bent down low and whispered in Jared’s ear. “Though I really do hope you screw up. You look fucking hot all bound like this.”
Jared’s eyes snapped open but with one last tug on the ropes circulating his wrists, the guy was gone.
Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Jared chanted in his mind while his chest heaved with the effort to calm down, however Jared couldn’t shake what the guy said.
“Alright we’re on in 3.” Phil yelled to everyone on set.
Jared watched shakily as Jake and the guest actor who was playing his mom-Jared feels bad for not knowing her name but he was too freaked out about this scene to really comprehend anything else-made their way on set.
At first the scene started out normally. Jake recited his lines, the mom recited hers, Jared his…then a few mishaps happened.
One of the lighting guy’s bulbs accidentally blew so they spent ten minutes getting another one and putting it into place. Then after that Jake stumbled and almost took a head dive to the floor. Everyone was laughing at the potential of it being in the gag reel but Jared was just sweating.
He could feel his wrists chafing as he tugged on them frantically. All of the sudden it seemed as if the room was spinning.
“Hey Jared, are you ok man? You don’t look so good.” He heard Jake whisper but all he could do was gasp for air like a fish would if it was out of water.
“Hey guys I think we need to untie Jared…he ain’t looking so hot!”
Jared’s eyeballs rolled until almost the whites were showing. “Jensen…” he whispered.
“Jensen?” Jake repeats. “Hey anyone know where Jensen is?”
After that Jared wasn’t sure what happened. He heard raised voices and Jake’s voice still shouting, but then he completely blanked for a few moments.
When he came to, he wasn’t strapped down on the table anymore. He was instead in his trailer and laying on something soft. Moaning he opened his eyes to see Jensen’s beautiful face peering down at him. His green eyes shined with worry and concern and so much fucking love it made Jared’s heart burst.
“Hey…” Jared croaked.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” Jensen asked softly, carding his fingers through Jared’s hair, a nervous habit of his.
“Like shit. What happened?” Jared questioned confusedly as he tried to sit up. Jensen’s hand pushed him firmly back to the couch, stopping him from moving.
“You freaked out and sorta fainted.”
That got his attention. “What?!?”
Jensen snickered, and at the moment Jared really wanted to strangle him.
“Calm down. I told them you got too hot and you passed out from the heat…which really your sweating helped me pull that story off.”
Jared breathed a sigh of relief and settled back onto the couch. “You’re such a great boyfriend, you know that?”
The smile that Jensen produced was worth the effort of stroking Jensen’s ego. “I know I am. Now Phil gave you some time to chill out so we have about an hour before we go back on.”
Jared frowned. “Will you be there?” he asked hopefully.
A guilty expression splashed across Jensen’s face and Jared hated that he put it there. “Yeah I will and I’m sorry I wasn’t there baby. Jeannie took one look at my finger and made me go see the on-set doctor.” Jensen waved his now wrapped up finger around.
“What did the doctor say about it?”
Jensen chuckled. “I jammed it but it should be fine in a few days.”
After that silence lapsed between them. Jared calmed down enough that his eyes began to droop again. He thought of today and how he has come to realize how much Jensen meant to him and how he couldn’t function without this man in his life.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you too,” Jensen replied, adding a kiss to Jared’s lips for extra emphasis.
Suddenly Jared remembered something from this little ordeal and the moment was just too good to pass it up. “Hey Jen…?”
“Yeah Jay?”
“You know that one new P.A…what’s his name?” Jared began with a wicked smirk on his face.
“Yeah his name is Paul. I had lunch with him yesterday…why?” Jensen asked uneasily.
Jared smiled brightly and said, “Oh nothing…except he hit on me when he was tying me up.”
“What!?”
Jared laughed as Jensen shrieked like a mad man. He enjoyed watching Jensen rant and rave at his expense.
He snuggled into the couch and let Jensen’s angry rambling put him to sleep.
The End