I wrote my way out of Hell. I wrote my way to revolution--I was louder than the crack in the bell.

[cherie_morte]

Hello, lovely livejournal friends. Long time, no post. Not gonna make up excuses or promise to do better--I was in a depressive rut re: fandom for the better part of 2015 and I hope it's over but maybe it won't be, anyway, as you can tell, I've been a joy to be around and you're all very lucky I was AWOL. XD

Comments

[deirdre_c]

185K! That's amazing, bb!! That's probably the total of all I've written, ever, lol

This was the year I pretty much decided to quit signing up for challenges, or at least exchanges, too. I got tired of feeling like I was always under pressure and owing things and hurry, hurry, hurry. *sigh* It's hard, because if you don't have a challenge deadline out there, it's easy not to produce anything, but on the other hand, OH THE BLISS of not feeling the stress.

That said, I think everyone in fandom--at least the cool people we hang out with!!--understands that this is just a hobby and it's meant to be fun and when time runs out, sometimes things don't get finished, no biggie. ♥ (Except SBP. There the rule is iron-clad: none shall pass. *g*)

Now I'm off to keep making my way through the xmas exchange masterlist. Can't wait until I get to Castaways! \o/

[cherie_morte]

Baaah. It's the second least productive year since I got into this fandom, but I guess at least it's not the least. XD

So you would say it DID work? I'm strongly considering, but then I worry that I never get anything done without a deadline, so I'll just stop finishing anything ever.

Haha, at least I have never failed at SBP. That shall be my legacy. Put that on my tombstone. "R.I.P. This Bitch. Her porn was always timely."

I really hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for helping me figure out which direction to go in. :D

[deirdre_c]

So you would say it DID work?

The good news: yes, I am much less stressed-out by fandom stuff! :)

The bad news: I haven't written a single thing this entire fall (since my last thing signed-up-for got posted). :(

I think the key for me, going forward, will be to sign up for things (Big Bang before the May1 deadline, spn-cinema type challenges) where no one is depending upon you if you flake, and resist things like reversebang or exchanges like springfling where you know the artists/giftees/mods will be in a bind if you don't produce. (BUT I'VE NEVER NOT DONE SPRINGFLING ;___;)

Timely porn. What better legacy?

[cherie_morte]

I think that's what I'm going to do, at least for a few months to make sure I have my groove back. I mean, after I finish RBB which I already committed to. Like, it'll suck not to have art for fics as often, but at least I won't feel as much like a piece of shit.

You are my guardian porn mermaid. <33333

[milly_gal]

185K?!?! *faints*

Welcome back honey, I hope this year is a better fit :D

[cherie_morte]

LOL, my second least productive writing year, but at least I wrote 70K more than last year.

Thanks, sweetie. I hope so, too. :/

[milly_gal]

O_O Are you a machine?! ;)

[cherie_morte]

I am but a humble trash.

[deanshot]

You were really missed last year. It was very strange not to see posts from you but I can understand that you were feeling down.

185 thousand plus words, my eyes literally fell out of my head when I saw the final tally.

Don't worry about trying to force your big bang, it will come to you when you least expect it and I will read it when ever you do finish because let's face it, YOU, MY DEAR ARE EXCELLENT WITH THE STORYTELLING SKILLS, (sorry for the capslock).

I know I have a few of your fics to catch up on which I will over the weekend because your stories never fail to amaze.

I hope 2016 will be much better for you sweetie.

*hugs* ❤❤❤

[cherie_morte]

<333 It's nice to know anyone even noticed I was gone, haha.

I think it's going to be a very cool story once it's done, but it's much, much more complicated than most of the things I write (which are variations on the theme J1 was pretty, J2 was pretty too, they touch butts). This one actually has, like, a PLOT and STUFF THAT NEEDS TO BE RESOLVED. Way too much effort required, tbh. :P

All joking aside, I am so touched by your sweet words about my writing. ♥ I really hope that you enjoy the stories you have on your list to read!

*hugs tight*

[de_nugis]

I'm pretty sure I beat you in the letting people down category, so there!

I hope things look up for you fannishly this year, but don't beat yourself up about it, whatever happens.

I don't think I'll ever go back to the more central areas of SPN fandom, but I'm hoping to be more productive on the margins.

Happy 2016 to you in all areas of life.

[cherie_morte]

Man, I can't even be the best at being the worst?!

Yeah, I hope so. But I definitely plan to account for the possibility that I won't be as productive as I am used to being, and stop signing up for things where anyone else will be let down if I just can't pull it out.

Happiest 2016 to you, darling. <333

[blythechild]

Thank god you posted this story round-up! I was about to go to various comms and ask embarrassing, leading questions about "Gonna Take You To Glory" (whose title I couldn't remember, along with WHO wrote it, WHERE it had been posted, for WHAT challenge, and even if it was a SPN fic or an RPF one... *facepalm* all I remembered was 'smut' and 'glory hole'). Now I can pretend I knew all along and just read it without greater judgment from fandom at large ;)

Also... I cannot wait for you to finish Sensory Overload, honey, because I'm dying to find out what happens next. DYING. TO. That was some cherry world-building... ♥

[cherie_morte]

Hahahaha, there we go! At least one person profited from the time I spent on this, other than myself. I'm so happy you enjoyed that filth-ridden story, which was one of my favorites to write all year.

YOUR SUPPORT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME. Seriously, your kind words about this story helped me pull my head out of my ass with it so much. It's definitely going to get done and when it is you will be one of the first to know. <333

[blythechild]

You can't tell, but right now I'm twirling in my office chair with Sensory Overload anticipation. It is exquisite to behold...

[cherie_morte]

It's all the better in my head because I am picturing the part where you twirl too hard and fall over. :')