#198: Sunsets
Prompt: #198
Title: Sunsets
Pairing: Jongdae/Minseok
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: genderswitch, virgin sex, fingering, tribbing
Word Count: 5792 words
Summary: Jungah sees sunsets differently, whether on the horizon or in someone else’s eyes..
Author’s Note: Their ages are canon, but no honorifics are used. I had so much fun writing this; thanks a lot for the prompt, recipient!
Jungah swore she acquiesced to sharing a room with Minseo only because of the distance between the apartment and her school. She barely even knew Minseo, let alone unaware of the fact that they go to the same school.
The first time Jungah ever initiated a conversation with Minseo took place in the school bus, where the two shared a seat at the very end, behind everyone else.
Minseo was seated by the window, her eyes listlessly observing everything the bus passes by. She's wearing the standard issue earphones that come with a smartphone, the cord loosely hanging off her chest until it ends where her hands meet - on top of her backpack that's laid across her lap.
Beside her, Jungah hears a familiar set of guitar noises coming out of Minseo's earphones, the latter obviously in too deep in the song she's listening to. Her eyes, however, reflecting off of the large window beside them, shows no trace of reaction to the song whatsoever. Perhaps she knows the song so well that her subconscious no longer thinks about the possibility of ever reviving that feeling of hearing it for the first time. Had that been Jungah, she would find her fingers tapping rhythmically against the soft material of her backpack, mimicking the beat of the song, regardless of the genre.
Is it only when the bus plays a soft tune, announcing their next stop, does Minseo think of removing one side of her earphones to listen - and for Jungah to take the opportunity to initiate a conversation.
"What were you listening to?" she asks, Minseo looks at Jungah with wide eyes, the answer should have been immediate but she loses her grasp on it as soon as their eyes meet.
"Kings--," Minseo's words are suddenly interrupted by the bus driver stepping onto the brakes abruptly, causing her to fall slightly on her side and onto Jungah's chest. To others, the act would have seemed a bit too exaggerated, but to Minseo, she didn't see it coming at all.
Minseo realizes the situation and collects herself almost instantly; coiling up her earphones neatly and holding them together with a small clip, setting it aside in her backpack. Just as everyone was getting ready to alight from the bus, she and Jungah both stand up, waiting for everyone else to alight before they would. Minseo courteously bows in apology, "I'm very sorry, I should have held myself to prevent that from happening," she says, her voice slightly quivering in embarrassment.
Jungah notices Minseo's ears turning into a light shade of pink from the embarrassment she feels, and giggles pointedly at her. "Don't think too much about it, I'm glad I caught you in time," she replies, her eyes turning into thin crescents. When the two of them are left remaining in the bus, Jungah sidestepped out of her way to allow Minseo to alight first before she would.
When the two of them have successfully alighted from the bus, Minseo takes a quick glance at her watch and is overcome with panic instantly. "I'm late, oh no!" she says, running up the stairs and into the school halls. It's too late when Jungah realizes Minseo has never answered her question back in the bus.
Later that afternoon, just as the two end their classes at the same time, it's only natural for them to ride the same bus on the way home.
As Jungah eagerly awaits Minseo's arrival, she's taken the liberty of saving her seat, right by the window, still at the back of the bus.
"You're here," Minseo says, standing right in front of Jungah, with the latter's bag placed strategically on Minseo's seat to prevent anyone from stealing the spot she's saved just for her roommate. "Thank you for saving my spot," she says meekly, a flush of pink immediately running along her cheeks.
The bus drives away further from the school just as Minseo finds herself settling into her seat and retrieving her earphones from her backpack. Almost as if she were preparing for a ceremony, her hands free her earphones from the neat coil she has formed it into earlier today and takes a quick glance at the sides of the earphones almost systematically, before putting them into her ears snugly.
Before Minseo finds herself falling deep within the trance that is her music, she notices Jungah watching her intently, like an observer would during a science experiment. "Is there something wrong?" Minseo asks.
Jungah takes the right side of Minseo's earphone and inserts it in her ear. "Nope, I just hope you'd share whatever it is you're listening to," she replies. Minseo smiles upon hearing Jungah's response, her fingers swiftly searching the contents of her iPod for a good song to play - just to keep Jungah interested on the ride home.
“What song did you have in mind?” Minseo asks curiously, eyeing Jungah’s expression if it might have changed from clueless to excitement. Seconds pass, but it only seems Jungah is persistent in returning Minseo’s stare. “DId you want indie pop? Or something smooth like dream pop or shoegaze?”
The older of the two laughs as Jungah blushes in embarrassment. “Please, just listen as you normally would; pretend I’m not beside you - sharing an earphone,” she replies. She didn’t want to admit that she knew absolutely none of those genres Minseo had mentioned. It almost made her feel as if she were a snob, not that she intentionally wanted to be ignorant about certain genes and songs she has never heard of.
Minseo jolts upon the realization that she had never answered Jungah’s question from earlier this morning. “I know just the perfect song to play,” there is a spark in her eyes that Jungah catches almost immediately.
It must have been the same song she was trying to decipher earlier that morning. It had the same melodious guitar tune that immediately caught Jungah’s attention. “Was this--”
“You were asking what this song was, right?” Minseo confirms, eyeing Jungah’s reaction.
Jungah is speechless, Minseo merely laughs at his obvious reactions. “Stay Out of Trouble by Kings of Convenience. I found the introduction of the song to be quite hypnotic; I loved it at first listen.”
Stay out of trouble, stay in touch. Try not to think about me too much.
The melody was haunting, that was one thing. The lyrics, however, they were told in a way that would be difficult to be spoken out with the normal tone. It was deep - too deep, for that matter. Lyrics that haven’t struck a chord within Jungah just yet; she considers herself as too young to understand all this.
Maybe in the future, she would - she hopes, she would.
The bus ride back home felt longer than it really did. Jungah feels lucky that she lives with Minseo; asking for more suggestions from her wouldn’t be too much of a problem.
They’re dropped off at a bus stop just opposite the very same one they waited at this morning. It’s a short distance from their place, situated right beside small convenience stores to serve the girls’ needs at any point in time.
“Perfect, we’re here, I’m itching for some tea,” Minseo says, unconsciously unplugging her share of the earphones, and handing her iPod for Jungah to hold.
Before Jungah gets to react, Minseo rushes to the nearby coffee shop to buy herself some ‘tea’, as she says. Jungah’s barely known Minseo for long, but as far as the former’s aware; Minseo’s excessively picky when it comes to her tea. There must be only a few places in mind that serve the perfect tea for her liking.
By now, the song they had been listening to when they boarded the bus on the way home had been long past due. Jungah remembers casually listening to everything that came after that one song, surely some of them had piqued her interest. Alas, it is when she belatedly realizes that she had been too hesitant in asking Minseo more about the songs that had been playing and if there was anything else that had a similar sound.
Strike one, Jungah.
The young girl stands outside the coffee shop while waiting for Minseo to come out with her long-awaited cup of tea. She’s certainly taken the time to browse through the contents of Minseo’s iPod, just to check whether they have any artists they’re mutually interested in.
She scrolls, and the scrolling continues along slowly until Jungah gets to the very end of Minseo’s library only to find out that she barely recognizes any of them - save for one or two, but the familiarity is bleak and merely limited to the name of the group. (She only remembers reading about them in a music blog, but even that was under the radar.)
A few minutes later, and Minseo emerges from the coffee shop feeling victorious, judging by the smile plastered on her face and the way she approaches Jungah in such a cute manner - far different from what the latter has seen all day. “I got my teeeeeaaa!” her voice turns into a squeal halfway, reminding Jungah how Minseo could be so innocent - even with the smallest things.
The two walk back to the entrance of their apartment. “Great, what did you get?”
“It’s an earl grey tea latte, but everyone loves to call it London Fog, for some reason,” Minseo replies, one hand holding the warm paper cup filled with tea, the other fumbling for her fob key somewhere in her pockets.
Minseo has a frequent habit of leaving her Spotify on through the night. Her starred playlist remains filled with various artists Jungah has never heard of, but finds their names familiar - she recalls seeing them in Minseo’s iPod from the other day.
It is past midnight when the two of them - in their shared bed - cannot seem to sleep. Just a few meters away from them is Minseo’s laptop playing an acoustic rendition of Iron and Wine’s Flightless Bird, American Mouth. The only light source is coming from the sheer curtains by the windowsill.
The two young ladies are staring up at the ceiling as the song plays in the background. The song serves as the perfect accompaniment for the thoughts of one, and the other trails her thoughts based on the song.
“I’ve always wanted to go on a trip,” Jungah says, the song oddly makes him think about a radio station playing something similar to this on a long ride to somewhere far away from the city. She feels something tugging at her chest; the eagerness to drive off to somewhere distant bringing her senses to life.
“Why not? I know of a place where we can stay for the weekend.” Minseo’s voice manages to perk up even within the confines of the dark room. It sends shivers along Jungah’s spine as she prays Minseo doesn’t feel it along the bedsheets as well.
Jungah holds out her left pinky, setting it above them so Minseo can see. “Pinky swear we’ll do it. We can take turns on the drive.”
Minseo curls her pinky finger around Jungah’s tightly, their pale skin is bright against the dark of the ceiling before them like white stars on the dark sky. “Pinky promise.”
The road trip to Minseo’s vacation house happens a few months after they’ve made the promise to one another. As expected, the preparations were meticulous down to the music that would end up playing on the car’s radio all throughout the trip.
The intro to Lianne La Havas’ Tokyo plays in tune to the way Minseo’s car runs at 80 km/h on the expressway. Jungah taps her fingers on the armrest on her side of the door, the smooth soulful beats enhancing the vacation feel of the drive.
“Tell me again, you’ve always had this place and never told me about it?” Jungah chides in, the wind from outside forces her hair in different directions, most of them ending up on her face.
Minseo’s car is relatively small, but just enough for the two girls to fit in their things for the weekend road trip. A small car, however, only means there isn’t that much space that separates the two front seats from one another.
One hand remains stationary on the steering wheel, the other resting on the gear shift. “Okay,” Minseo says, waving her hand - the one on the gear shift - just to get Jungah to calm down. “Technically it’s my parents’, but they’re not exactly around and they’ve given me permission to use it whenever I feel like running away from the confines of the city.”
Jungah could only laugh in response, Minseo sighs against the steering wheel as the laughter reverberates on the walls of the car. “Running away from the confines of the city, girl, that’s deep.”
“Metaphorically, and literally speaking,” because it is a four-hour drive from where they live. “Stop laughing, as if you don’t have your own place where you go to just so you can run away from everything.”
Jungah falls silent as Minseo continues to drive with Halsey’s Drive playing in the background. There are no cars on the road before them, and it’s early in the morning when they’re making their way to Minseo’s vacation house.
It is when Jungah clutches Minseo’s hand that’s on the gear shift that gets the latter’s blood running cold. “What are you--”
“I’m just giving you my answer to the question you asked me,” Jungah says, her smile causes Minseo’s hold on the steering wheel to loosen. “You are that one place I go to when I want to run away from everything.”
All we do is drive, all we do is think about the feelings that we hide, all we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign.
“Jungah, you don’t mean it, don’t you.”
“I mean every word.”
California never felt like home to me, until I had you on the open road and now we’re singing.
Minseo is lucky the road is bare before her. The moment she and Jungah shared lips in a gentle kiss, she almost loses her ability to distinguish between the gas and brake pedals. There’s always the slight chance of the car crashing, yet she already feels her heart exploding into minuscule parts.
When their lips break contact, the car is still running at 80 km/h. Minseo feels her heart rate must be around twice as much.
When they reach the vacation house, Minseo conveniently parks the car just outside the garage. She turns off the engine, all whilst sighing heavily from the long drive.
Ever since she and Jungah kissed, the two have been quiet for the remainder of the trip. St. Lucia’s Elevate has been playing softly on the stereo as Minseo exits the expressway and ends up along a solitary residential area.
“Minseo?” The silence has been making Jungah deaf for far too long. “I’m sorry, that was too rash, I shouldn’t have - I didn’t think you shared the same feelings-”
“Stop. Jungah, please,” there is more sighing against the smooth leather that runs along the steering wheel. “Please don’t make this awkward for me - for us.”
The realization hits Jungah when she recalls that they’ll be sharing the vacation home for the next few days. Their relationship would be walking on thin ice at this point, anything is possible so long as they tread the path carefully. The last thing they’d rather have right now would be a horrible experience accompanying this trip that they’ve always wanted.
“Just,” Minseo says, trying to hide the fact that she’s beginning to choke up on her words. “I need some space, Jungah. I hope we can also take this time to sort out our things,” her voice is flat, lifeless; Jungah’s never encountered this side of her best friend before.
Minseo steps out of the car almost immediately, leaving Jungah within the confines of the unlit car.
Strike two, Jungah.
The rest of the afternoon was spent on the two of them in separate rooms, arranging their clothes and settling themselves in for the weekend. It has never occurred to Jungah to think about what they would be doing here in Minseo’s vacation house even for a mere three days.
It was later that evening when Minseo took the liberty to cook dinner for the two of them. Jungah had never recalled Minseo cooking dinner either; it would usually be the two of them buying large amounts of take-out and rationing them out for a week, at most two. Risky and unsanitary as it was, it did manage to sustain them for weeks on end.
Jungah followed the sounds of knife on a wooden chopping board, as well as the occasional high-heat searing only to see Minseo casually dressed in a shirt and a pair of cropped capris.
“What’s for dinner?” Keeping the conversation just to a bare minimum, Jungah hopes she doesn’t end up treading in uncharted territory - no, not after what had happened in the car on the way here earlier. “I don’t recall you buying ingredients earlier, either, have those been there the whole time?”
The station in which Minseo chose to kept herself busy on stands in the middle of an open kitchen, rather quite unusual for a vacation house that’s barely had any signs of use. However, the marble countertop seems to be easily maintaining its pristine quality after such heavy use. Her hands and wrists are as pale as the marble countertop where the large chopping block rests. Her knife, titanium-coated, is a stark contrast to the whole set; its blade a deep shade of grey.
Minseo doesn’t look up at Jungah, her eyes focused on carefully fabricating a handful of baby carrots. “Stocks are always refilled here, even when we’re not around. It gives us the security of knowing there’s a place we can go in case we have to leave the city on extenuating circumstances.”
Jungah takes her seat just on the other side of the standalone bar as she observes Minseo’s careful, minimal yet calculated movements. She may not know a thing about cooking, but her instincts immediately tell her Minseo’s cooking up something really good for dinner when she sees it.
They finally manage to patch things between them over a long talk during dinner, at which point a suitable amount of liquor and good music had accompanied the wonderful meal Minseo had cooked up for the two of them,
“I know this is a little bit awkward for,” Minseo says, a hand lazily waving around her fork in mid-air, “us, since - you know.”
Jungah cleanly sets aside her cutlery and pushes the plates slightly away from her. “We can work this out, I know we can. I have faith in this - us.”
“Jungah, we can try this out. I’m totally fine with it, I just never thought you would actually push through with the two of us being an actual thing.”
There are flashbacks, to Jungah having moments where she would be extra clingy around Minseo, and times when she would go past the boundaries between friends and initiate intimacy. Minseo had been open and supportive throughout their whole friendship. However, she hadn’t thought about the possibility of Jungah eventually leaving the invisible demarcation line between them. The thought of it all sends heat pooling around her ears.
Minseo sets her fork down, her voice suddenly stern. “We can try this out, Jungah. I’d love to see what happens.”
“This isn’t an experiment, though, Minseo. Please, don’t make it sound like it is one.”
“I-I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to react at a situation like this. I don’t know how to explain it to you, but the emotions I’m feeling right now; they’re all a mix of different ones and I just can’t seem to choose which prevails over the other. I’ve always felt that you liked me all this time, ever since you moved in to my place.”
Jungah blushes at Minseo’s words. Slowly standing up and approaching the other end of the table where the young girl sits. Jungah captures Minseo’s face between her hands, cradling it gently like a delicate package. “I can’t promise you anything, Minseo. I am absolutely sure of one thing, however. I will always be with you, always.”
Minseo visibly shivers at Jungah’s words, the other merely smiles at the fact knowing there is some truth to it, though Minseo may not be able to grasp it as soon as she hears it.
“Come on, let’s clean this up; I’ll prove it to you.”
There is an immediate removal of clothes when Jungah and Minseo enter their shared room. Stripped down to just their shirts and panties, Minseo finds herself shoved down on the bed right when Jungah crawls closer towards her, their legs brushing slightly, and she tries to hide the shock when she realizes how wet she’s become in mere moments.
Jungah giggles on top of Minseo as her hips gyrate slightly, and Minseo is quick to respond; her back arching slightly almost as if it were a reflex movement.
“Be honest, you’ve never done this before, have you?” Jungah whispers, her breath hot along Minseo’s cheeks down to her neck. Sweat quickly forms around Minseo’s forehead just as she finds herself exhaling loudly through her mouth. The room immediately turns stuffy; the need for her to free herself of her shit is imminent.
Minseo’s ‘no’ is slightly breathy just as Jungah ghosts her fingers along the waistband of the former’s panties. Her fingers slowly make their way into Minseo’s folds, her wetness tempting her to get her to come quickly. The way Minseo says no, however, gets Jungah thinking about allowing her friend to take her sweet time to savor the feeling, despite the pain.
One finger finds itself inside Minseo’s folds, the young girl under her squirming at the foreign sensation. “Relax,” Jungah whispers. Her finger slowly curls as her thumb moves over to Minseo’s clit. Her fingers slowly shake as Minseo’s breathing turns ragged and the moans that spill from her mouth are beautiful; her voice filling in the room slowly.
“Please,” Minseo says. Jungah looks up to her as she slowly inserts another finger in her pussy. Slick juices are coating Jungah’s fingers very well until she finds herself easily pushing in her fingers in a swift motion. Beneath her, Minseo’s back arches from a myriad of sensations flowing within her. “More, Jungah,” her voice is insistent despite the unfamiliarity of it all.
When Jungah feels that Minseo’s already close to her first orgasm, she quickly pulls her fingers out, earning a soft whine from Minseo. As she pulls down her own underwear, Minseo peers over to what Jungah has in store for her. Jungah scoots closer towards Minseo, their pussies inches from one another. Jungah begins gyrating slowly on Minseo’s pussy, at which the other responds the same as she did previously, with two fingers inside her.
“Fuck, Jungah,” Minseo almost yells out. She immediately forgets she still has her shirt on when Jungah slips herself inside Minseo’s shirt, their pussies still in contact with one another, as she thrusts back in reflex with Jungah’s movements.
Jungah leaves her hands along Minseo’s slides when she’s cramped inside Minseo’s shirt. The two kiss gently despite the kind of sex they’re having. Minseo arches her back further whilst Jungah’s lips make their way down her neck down to her chest, her lips latching onto a nipple as her thrusts become erratic.
Minseo’s moans slowly increase in volume as her thrusts in return are also erratic. Jungah overstimulates Minseo’s clit with her thumb as she rides out her own orgasm, with the other’s hips stuttering from her own orgasm as well.
With a flop to the side, Jungah crawls closer to Minseo and nudges herself along the juncture between her neck and shoulder as the two drift into sweet sleep.
When Jungah wakes up the next morning, a smile creeps along her face knowing that everything that has been said and done the night before rang with truth, and no one can deny her that.
Beside him, Minseo wakes up groaning softly. The sun bleeds in from the thin curtains as light slowly falls along the young girl’s face down to her arms, the thin follicles of hair illuminating softly at a distance.
“Morning,” Jungah’s voice is dry, as always. The way she greets Minseo is almost as if she feels the need to add a term of endearment just in case, but the words fail and she can’t think of a good name to give to Minseo; so the morning greeting is left hanging. “Slept well?”
She doubts Minseo would notice anyways.
Minseo’s phone sits on the bedside table. Jungah figured if she slept better with songs from her playlist, she would probably fare better at waking up while listening to the same songs as well. “Dumb analogy,” she thinks, but it just might work.
The young girl beside Jungah only answers with a soft groan and a failed attempt at hiding herself under her pillow just to keep herself away from the sunlight. The soft sounds of Jamie XX’s Loud Places fills the room, and Minseo could only respond with more half-asleep groaning. “You’re horrible, you use my one weakness against me.”
“Good morning to you too, my dear.”
The familiar smell of breakfast quickly fills the air as Jungah takes the liberty of cooking breakfast for the two of them, in exchange for Minseo taking care of the dinner last night. It’s made just the way she likes her breakfast - more on rustic and nostalgic of home, in contrast to Minseo’s sophisticated techniques.
“I hope you like bacon steak and eggs, because that’s what we’re having,” Jungah’s voice croons, her voice is just as tempting as the food they’re about to eat. By now, Minseo is awake and slightly hungover from last night’s events. In Jungah’s case, she’s fine - perfectly fine. Rather, euphoric at the fact that she’s done this to her best friend.
Plates are placed in front of Minseo on their dining table and her face is nothing short of shocked. “I didn’t know you could cook, let alone prepare a meal like this,” her voice still dry from the sleep, immediately remedying it with downing a glass of water. “Thank you, Jungah.”
“Just because you can cook better than me, doesn’t give you the automatic right to underestimate my skills,” Jungah says, laughing softly. Her laughs are light-hearted, quickly filling the room and making Minseo laugh on reflex. It’s early in the morning and the two of them are more than happy to be sharing a meal such as this.
It’s an odd sight for them to not be sharing much of a conversation as they eat their breakfast. After all, meals are most definitely better when accompanied by good conversations. However, in this case, it only seems right that Jungah and Minseo are far more comfortable with one another in the arms of silence; appreciating each other’s presence instead of allowing words to prevail over them.
The familiar scene of eating breakfast together is no stranger for the two of them. Living under the same roof for years only means running into one another in the middle of a meal to be inevitable. Ever since then, the two have made an agreement to eat together everyday - it’s the only chance for the two of them to catch up on one another. They don’t share the same classes, either; they would rather focus on their studies as opposed to chat in the middle of classes, in the event that they do share some.
For most of the time they’ve spent sharing a place together, they’ve lived either on regular take-outs, or Minseo cooking for the two of them, especially on special occasions. The only time Jungah’s ever considered cooking would be whenever she was alone at home, or times where Minseo would be too sick to cook for the two of them. Either way, the rustic feel of Jungah’s cooking would always be a crowd pleaser - or in this case, roommate pleaser - as opposed to the usual luxurious feel.
On the drive back home, the two stick to their promise made in a dark room, with music to make Minseo fall asleep seamlessly. Jungah drives Minseo’s car, running at 110km/h down the same expressway they’ve been on just a while ago. Minseo’s by the shotgun seat, scrolling along her phone, choosing what to play next.
Regardless of who’s driving the car, Minseo always has control of the music that flows through the stereo speakers. Just as they’re passing by layovers, Local Natives’ Mt. Washington begins to play; the vocals seemingly haunting to the ears.
Minseo turns down the volume, and it immediately gets Jungah’s attention. “Is there something wrong? You don’t usually turn down music you enjoy hearing.”
“I need to tell you something, I just don’t know how to put the words together, though.”
“We have a long ride ahead of us, might as well try your best. I’m listening.”
“You see,” Minseo starts off, mildly stuttering in the process - from the fear or the excitement, Jungah’s not sure. “I’m not exactly sure if we’ll work out - as a thing, you know?”
Jungah’s about to react, violently, before Minseo stops the younger girl by holding her hand. “I know what you’re going to say - we, no, I, haven’t done this before, so who am I to call it quits before it even happens, or before it even has any chance of developing?”
The idea of Minseo calling it quits as early as now gives Jungah the image of a young child planting a small seed one day, hoping it turns out into a large tree after quite some time. However, the very next day the child kills it - pulls out the seed, or something along those lines. Before anything even happens, she’s already given up.
“Minseo, you said so yourself, though. You wanted to try this out; you wanted to see what would happen!”
“--And I do! I actually do want to know what happens, Jungah. But then, there’s that fear of the unknown, you know? I’m scared, Jungah. I’m scared.”
In just a span of two days, Jungah has seen far too many sides of Minseo’s personality, most of which she has no idea how to react to. Fear is a normal kind of paranoia that can seep into anyone’s minds and corrupt their way of thinking. However, it’s the fear of the unknown - the uncertainty that exists like a spot on the corner of a person’s peripheral vision - that gets shivers running down her spine, bringing a trail of goosebumps along her wrists.
“Jungah, talk to me, please.”
“Did you have anything else to say?”
“Jungah.”
“Was it the sex? Was there something you didn’t like in particular? Talk to me, Minseo, I don’t want to leave you with no choice at this point.”
The car swiftly turns towards the direction of a nearby layover. Minseo looks over to Jungah, the latter looking severely bothered at the immediate turn of events. The wheels screech at the abrupt brake before an empty diner. Jungah puts the gear shift on park and pulls up the handbrake, all while getting the intense urge to step out of the car and walk away from it - from Minseo.
“Jungah, it was none of those; you know me. I wouldn’t let you go because of something like that. i understand that was precious to you; you gave yourself to me, and it’s only right that I should respect every fibre of that.”
The engine is finally turned off; they key still remains in the ignition, however. “Why, though? You could at least consider the chance of letting me wait. Minseo, we live in the same place, you know I wouldn’t mind.”
“Please,” Minseo’s voice is desperate, almost like a child pleading to her parents. Jungah’s not exactly sure what to do at this point; they’re only halfway through the drive back to their place and the disappointment that hangs over them is too heavy to disregard. “Jungah, talk to me.”
“Minseo, you can drive yourself home. I think I need some time on my own.”
The younger of the two has her hands on the door handle when Minseo stops her, grabbing her by the wrist. “No, wait. I can drive, you don’t have to leave like this. How can I be sure that you’ll be coming home?”
“You should know that by now.”
It is almost midnight when Minseo tries to sit outside by the front porch, patiently waiting for Jungah to come home. After the misunderstanding they had back at the layover, Jungah proceeded to leave Minseo to drive back home on her own. Not knowing that the drive back home was too excruciating for the latter to even go through; the pain enough to leave her crying by the front seat for a good hour and a half before the looming sunset eventually forced her to return to the empty expressway.
Hands are covering her mouth as she softly whispers ‘please come home’ several times, a mantra that would eventually get her anxious every time someone were to cross their front porch in hopes of it being Jungah all along.
The air outside grows colder the deeper the night becomes. It isn’t until Jungah struggles with getting through the gate of their own place almost two hours later. She stumbles through the grass, clearly intoxicated and probably at the risk of not remembering how she got herself home in the first place. Minseo takes no time in assisting the young girl back into their shared room.
“I’m sorry you had to put yourself through this.”
Two years later, Minseo and Jungah are still sharing a place. There has been plenty of improvement since the last time they’ve crossed the boundary between friends and being intimate. Since then, the two remained good friends, but circumstances has limited itself to just that.
It is inevitable to think that Jungah might still be pining for Minseo, and the same probably applies vice-versa. However, an invisible force ultimately hinders the two of them from ever advancing from mere friends. In fear of losing something more between them, they don’t take the risk. Sometimes it’s only rational to think about how much the risk outweighs the actual prize. In this case, the risk was far too much.
Then again, there’s always the inevitable hand-holding whenever they’re together, and they can’t deny the other the simple pleasures.
Title: Sunsets
Pairing: Jongdae/Minseok
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: genderswitch, virgin sex, fingering, tribbing
Word Count: 5792 words
Summary: Jungah sees sunsets differently, whether on the horizon or in someone else’s eyes..
Author’s Note: Their ages are canon, but no honorifics are used. I had so much fun writing this; thanks a lot for the prompt, recipient!
Jungah swore she acquiesced to sharing a room with Minseo only because of the distance between the apartment and her school. She barely even knew Minseo, let alone unaware of the fact that they go to the same school.
The first time Jungah ever initiated a conversation with Minseo took place in the school bus, where the two shared a seat at the very end, behind everyone else.
Minseo was seated by the window, her eyes listlessly observing everything the bus passes by. She's wearing the standard issue earphones that come with a smartphone, the cord loosely hanging off her chest until it ends where her hands meet - on top of her backpack that's laid across her lap.
Beside her, Jungah hears a familiar set of guitar noises coming out of Minseo's earphones, the latter obviously in too deep in the song she's listening to. Her eyes, however, reflecting off of the large window beside them, shows no trace of reaction to the song whatsoever. Perhaps she knows the song so well that her subconscious no longer thinks about the possibility of ever reviving that feeling of hearing it for the first time. Had that been Jungah, she would find her fingers tapping rhythmically against the soft material of her backpack, mimicking the beat of the song, regardless of the genre.
Is it only when the bus plays a soft tune, announcing their next stop, does Minseo think of removing one side of her earphones to listen - and for Jungah to take the opportunity to initiate a conversation.
"What were you listening to?" she asks, Minseo looks at Jungah with wide eyes, the answer should have been immediate but she loses her grasp on it as soon as their eyes meet.
"Kings--," Minseo's words are suddenly interrupted by the bus driver stepping onto the brakes abruptly, causing her to fall slightly on her side and onto Jungah's chest. To others, the act would have seemed a bit too exaggerated, but to Minseo, she didn't see it coming at all.
Minseo realizes the situation and collects herself almost instantly; coiling up her earphones neatly and holding them together with a small clip, setting it aside in her backpack. Just as everyone was getting ready to alight from the bus, she and Jungah both stand up, waiting for everyone else to alight before they would. Minseo courteously bows in apology, "I'm very sorry, I should have held myself to prevent that from happening," she says, her voice slightly quivering in embarrassment.
Jungah notices Minseo's ears turning into a light shade of pink from the embarrassment she feels, and giggles pointedly at her. "Don't think too much about it, I'm glad I caught you in time," she replies, her eyes turning into thin crescents. When the two of them are left remaining in the bus, Jungah sidestepped out of her way to allow Minseo to alight first before she would.
When the two of them have successfully alighted from the bus, Minseo takes a quick glance at her watch and is overcome with panic instantly. "I'm late, oh no!" she says, running up the stairs and into the school halls. It's too late when Jungah realizes Minseo has never answered her question back in the bus.
Later that afternoon, just as the two end their classes at the same time, it's only natural for them to ride the same bus on the way home.
As Jungah eagerly awaits Minseo's arrival, she's taken the liberty of saving her seat, right by the window, still at the back of the bus.
"You're here," Minseo says, standing right in front of Jungah, with the latter's bag placed strategically on Minseo's seat to prevent anyone from stealing the spot she's saved just for her roommate. "Thank you for saving my spot," she says meekly, a flush of pink immediately running along her cheeks.
The bus drives away further from the school just as Minseo finds herself settling into her seat and retrieving her earphones from her backpack. Almost as if she were preparing for a ceremony, her hands free her earphones from the neat coil she has formed it into earlier today and takes a quick glance at the sides of the earphones almost systematically, before putting them into her ears snugly.
Before Minseo finds herself falling deep within the trance that is her music, she notices Jungah watching her intently, like an observer would during a science experiment. "Is there something wrong?" Minseo asks.
Jungah takes the right side of Minseo's earphone and inserts it in her ear. "Nope, I just hope you'd share whatever it is you're listening to," she replies. Minseo smiles upon hearing Jungah's response, her fingers swiftly searching the contents of her iPod for a good song to play - just to keep Jungah interested on the ride home.
“What song did you have in mind?” Minseo asks curiously, eyeing Jungah’s expression if it might have changed from clueless to excitement. Seconds pass, but it only seems Jungah is persistent in returning Minseo’s stare. “DId you want indie pop? Or something smooth like dream pop or shoegaze?”
The older of the two laughs as Jungah blushes in embarrassment. “Please, just listen as you normally would; pretend I’m not beside you - sharing an earphone,” she replies. She didn’t want to admit that she knew absolutely none of those genres Minseo had mentioned. It almost made her feel as if she were a snob, not that she intentionally wanted to be ignorant about certain genes and songs she has never heard of.
Minseo jolts upon the realization that she had never answered Jungah’s question from earlier this morning. “I know just the perfect song to play,” there is a spark in her eyes that Jungah catches almost immediately.
It must have been the same song she was trying to decipher earlier that morning. It had the same melodious guitar tune that immediately caught Jungah’s attention. “Was this--”
“You were asking what this song was, right?” Minseo confirms, eyeing Jungah’s reaction.
Jungah is speechless, Minseo merely laughs at his obvious reactions. “Stay Out of Trouble by Kings of Convenience. I found the introduction of the song to be quite hypnotic; I loved it at first listen.”
Stay out of trouble, stay in touch. Try not to think about me too much.
The melody was haunting, that was one thing. The lyrics, however, they were told in a way that would be difficult to be spoken out with the normal tone. It was deep - too deep, for that matter. Lyrics that haven’t struck a chord within Jungah just yet; she considers herself as too young to understand all this.
Maybe in the future, she would - she hopes, she would.
The bus ride back home felt longer than it really did. Jungah feels lucky that she lives with Minseo; asking for more suggestions from her wouldn’t be too much of a problem.
They’re dropped off at a bus stop just opposite the very same one they waited at this morning. It’s a short distance from their place, situated right beside small convenience stores to serve the girls’ needs at any point in time.
“Perfect, we’re here, I’m itching for some tea,” Minseo says, unconsciously unplugging her share of the earphones, and handing her iPod for Jungah to hold.
Before Jungah gets to react, Minseo rushes to the nearby coffee shop to buy herself some ‘tea’, as she says. Jungah’s barely known Minseo for long, but as far as the former’s aware; Minseo’s excessively picky when it comes to her tea. There must be only a few places in mind that serve the perfect tea for her liking.
By now, the song they had been listening to when they boarded the bus on the way home had been long past due. Jungah remembers casually listening to everything that came after that one song, surely some of them had piqued her interest. Alas, it is when she belatedly realizes that she had been too hesitant in asking Minseo more about the songs that had been playing and if there was anything else that had a similar sound.
Strike one, Jungah.
The young girl stands outside the coffee shop while waiting for Minseo to come out with her long-awaited cup of tea. She’s certainly taken the time to browse through the contents of Minseo’s iPod, just to check whether they have any artists they’re mutually interested in.
She scrolls, and the scrolling continues along slowly until Jungah gets to the very end of Minseo’s library only to find out that she barely recognizes any of them - save for one or two, but the familiarity is bleak and merely limited to the name of the group. (She only remembers reading about them in a music blog, but even that was under the radar.)
A few minutes later, and Minseo emerges from the coffee shop feeling victorious, judging by the smile plastered on her face and the way she approaches Jungah in such a cute manner - far different from what the latter has seen all day. “I got my teeeeeaaa!” her voice turns into a squeal halfway, reminding Jungah how Minseo could be so innocent - even with the smallest things.
The two walk back to the entrance of their apartment. “Great, what did you get?”
“It’s an earl grey tea latte, but everyone loves to call it London Fog, for some reason,” Minseo replies, one hand holding the warm paper cup filled with tea, the other fumbling for her fob key somewhere in her pockets.
Minseo has a frequent habit of leaving her Spotify on through the night. Her starred playlist remains filled with various artists Jungah has never heard of, but finds their names familiar - she recalls seeing them in Minseo’s iPod from the other day.
It is past midnight when the two of them - in their shared bed - cannot seem to sleep. Just a few meters away from them is Minseo’s laptop playing an acoustic rendition of Iron and Wine’s Flightless Bird, American Mouth. The only light source is coming from the sheer curtains by the windowsill.
The two young ladies are staring up at the ceiling as the song plays in the background. The song serves as the perfect accompaniment for the thoughts of one, and the other trails her thoughts based on the song.
“I’ve always wanted to go on a trip,” Jungah says, the song oddly makes him think about a radio station playing something similar to this on a long ride to somewhere far away from the city. She feels something tugging at her chest; the eagerness to drive off to somewhere distant bringing her senses to life.
“Why not? I know of a place where we can stay for the weekend.” Minseo’s voice manages to perk up even within the confines of the dark room. It sends shivers along Jungah’s spine as she prays Minseo doesn’t feel it along the bedsheets as well.
Jungah holds out her left pinky, setting it above them so Minseo can see. “Pinky swear we’ll do it. We can take turns on the drive.”
Minseo curls her pinky finger around Jungah’s tightly, their pale skin is bright against the dark of the ceiling before them like white stars on the dark sky. “Pinky promise.”
The road trip to Minseo’s vacation house happens a few months after they’ve made the promise to one another. As expected, the preparations were meticulous down to the music that would end up playing on the car’s radio all throughout the trip.
The intro to Lianne La Havas’ Tokyo plays in tune to the way Minseo’s car runs at 80 km/h on the expressway. Jungah taps her fingers on the armrest on her side of the door, the smooth soulful beats enhancing the vacation feel of the drive.
“Tell me again, you’ve always had this place and never told me about it?” Jungah chides in, the wind from outside forces her hair in different directions, most of them ending up on her face.
Minseo’s car is relatively small, but just enough for the two girls to fit in their things for the weekend road trip. A small car, however, only means there isn’t that much space that separates the two front seats from one another.
One hand remains stationary on the steering wheel, the other resting on the gear shift. “Okay,” Minseo says, waving her hand - the one on the gear shift - just to get Jungah to calm down. “Technically it’s my parents’, but they’re not exactly around and they’ve given me permission to use it whenever I feel like running away from the confines of the city.”
Jungah could only laugh in response, Minseo sighs against the steering wheel as the laughter reverberates on the walls of the car. “Running away from the confines of the city, girl, that’s deep.”
“Metaphorically, and literally speaking,” because it is a four-hour drive from where they live. “Stop laughing, as if you don’t have your own place where you go to just so you can run away from everything.”
Jungah falls silent as Minseo continues to drive with Halsey’s Drive playing in the background. There are no cars on the road before them, and it’s early in the morning when they’re making their way to Minseo’s vacation house.
It is when Jungah clutches Minseo’s hand that’s on the gear shift that gets the latter’s blood running cold. “What are you--”
“I’m just giving you my answer to the question you asked me,” Jungah says, her smile causes Minseo’s hold on the steering wheel to loosen. “You are that one place I go to when I want to run away from everything.”
All we do is drive, all we do is think about the feelings that we hide, all we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign.
“Jungah, you don’t mean it, don’t you.”
“I mean every word.”
California never felt like home to me, until I had you on the open road and now we’re singing.
Minseo is lucky the road is bare before her. The moment she and Jungah shared lips in a gentle kiss, she almost loses her ability to distinguish between the gas and brake pedals. There’s always the slight chance of the car crashing, yet she already feels her heart exploding into minuscule parts.
When their lips break contact, the car is still running at 80 km/h. Minseo feels her heart rate must be around twice as much.
When they reach the vacation house, Minseo conveniently parks the car just outside the garage. She turns off the engine, all whilst sighing heavily from the long drive.
Ever since she and Jungah kissed, the two have been quiet for the remainder of the trip. St. Lucia’s Elevate has been playing softly on the stereo as Minseo exits the expressway and ends up along a solitary residential area.
“Minseo?” The silence has been making Jungah deaf for far too long. “I’m sorry, that was too rash, I shouldn’t have - I didn’t think you shared the same feelings-”
“Stop. Jungah, please,” there is more sighing against the smooth leather that runs along the steering wheel. “Please don’t make this awkward for me - for us.”
The realization hits Jungah when she recalls that they’ll be sharing the vacation home for the next few days. Their relationship would be walking on thin ice at this point, anything is possible so long as they tread the path carefully. The last thing they’d rather have right now would be a horrible experience accompanying this trip that they’ve always wanted.
“Just,” Minseo says, trying to hide the fact that she’s beginning to choke up on her words. “I need some space, Jungah. I hope we can also take this time to sort out our things,” her voice is flat, lifeless; Jungah’s never encountered this side of her best friend before.
Minseo steps out of the car almost immediately, leaving Jungah within the confines of the unlit car.
Strike two, Jungah.
The rest of the afternoon was spent on the two of them in separate rooms, arranging their clothes and settling themselves in for the weekend. It has never occurred to Jungah to think about what they would be doing here in Minseo’s vacation house even for a mere three days.
It was later that evening when Minseo took the liberty to cook dinner for the two of them. Jungah had never recalled Minseo cooking dinner either; it would usually be the two of them buying large amounts of take-out and rationing them out for a week, at most two. Risky and unsanitary as it was, it did manage to sustain them for weeks on end.
Jungah followed the sounds of knife on a wooden chopping board, as well as the occasional high-heat searing only to see Minseo casually dressed in a shirt and a pair of cropped capris.
“What’s for dinner?” Keeping the conversation just to a bare minimum, Jungah hopes she doesn’t end up treading in uncharted territory - no, not after what had happened in the car on the way here earlier. “I don’t recall you buying ingredients earlier, either, have those been there the whole time?”
The station in which Minseo chose to kept herself busy on stands in the middle of an open kitchen, rather quite unusual for a vacation house that’s barely had any signs of use. However, the marble countertop seems to be easily maintaining its pristine quality after such heavy use. Her hands and wrists are as pale as the marble countertop where the large chopping block rests. Her knife, titanium-coated, is a stark contrast to the whole set; its blade a deep shade of grey.
Minseo doesn’t look up at Jungah, her eyes focused on carefully fabricating a handful of baby carrots. “Stocks are always refilled here, even when we’re not around. It gives us the security of knowing there’s a place we can go in case we have to leave the city on extenuating circumstances.”
Jungah takes her seat just on the other side of the standalone bar as she observes Minseo’s careful, minimal yet calculated movements. She may not know a thing about cooking, but her instincts immediately tell her Minseo’s cooking up something really good for dinner when she sees it.
They finally manage to patch things between them over a long talk during dinner, at which point a suitable amount of liquor and good music had accompanied the wonderful meal Minseo had cooked up for the two of them,
“I know this is a little bit awkward for,” Minseo says, a hand lazily waving around her fork in mid-air, “us, since - you know.”
Jungah cleanly sets aside her cutlery and pushes the plates slightly away from her. “We can work this out, I know we can. I have faith in this - us.”
“Jungah, we can try this out. I’m totally fine with it, I just never thought you would actually push through with the two of us being an actual thing.”
There are flashbacks, to Jungah having moments where she would be extra clingy around Minseo, and times when she would go past the boundaries between friends and initiate intimacy. Minseo had been open and supportive throughout their whole friendship. However, she hadn’t thought about the possibility of Jungah eventually leaving the invisible demarcation line between them. The thought of it all sends heat pooling around her ears.
Minseo sets her fork down, her voice suddenly stern. “We can try this out, Jungah. I’d love to see what happens.”
“This isn’t an experiment, though, Minseo. Please, don’t make it sound like it is one.”
“I-I’m sorry, I just don’t know how to react at a situation like this. I don’t know how to explain it to you, but the emotions I’m feeling right now; they’re all a mix of different ones and I just can’t seem to choose which prevails over the other. I’ve always felt that you liked me all this time, ever since you moved in to my place.”
Jungah blushes at Minseo’s words. Slowly standing up and approaching the other end of the table where the young girl sits. Jungah captures Minseo’s face between her hands, cradling it gently like a delicate package. “I can’t promise you anything, Minseo. I am absolutely sure of one thing, however. I will always be with you, always.”
Minseo visibly shivers at Jungah’s words, the other merely smiles at the fact knowing there is some truth to it, though Minseo may not be able to grasp it as soon as she hears it.
“Come on, let’s clean this up; I’ll prove it to you.”
There is an immediate removal of clothes when Jungah and Minseo enter their shared room. Stripped down to just their shirts and panties, Minseo finds herself shoved down on the bed right when Jungah crawls closer towards her, their legs brushing slightly, and she tries to hide the shock when she realizes how wet she’s become in mere moments.
Jungah giggles on top of Minseo as her hips gyrate slightly, and Minseo is quick to respond; her back arching slightly almost as if it were a reflex movement.
“Be honest, you’ve never done this before, have you?” Jungah whispers, her breath hot along Minseo’s cheeks down to her neck. Sweat quickly forms around Minseo’s forehead just as she finds herself exhaling loudly through her mouth. The room immediately turns stuffy; the need for her to free herself of her shit is imminent.
Minseo’s ‘no’ is slightly breathy just as Jungah ghosts her fingers along the waistband of the former’s panties. Her fingers slowly make their way into Minseo’s folds, her wetness tempting her to get her to come quickly. The way Minseo says no, however, gets Jungah thinking about allowing her friend to take her sweet time to savor the feeling, despite the pain.
One finger finds itself inside Minseo’s folds, the young girl under her squirming at the foreign sensation. “Relax,” Jungah whispers. Her finger slowly curls as her thumb moves over to Minseo’s clit. Her fingers slowly shake as Minseo’s breathing turns ragged and the moans that spill from her mouth are beautiful; her voice filling in the room slowly.
“Please,” Minseo says. Jungah looks up to her as she slowly inserts another finger in her pussy. Slick juices are coating Jungah’s fingers very well until she finds herself easily pushing in her fingers in a swift motion. Beneath her, Minseo’s back arches from a myriad of sensations flowing within her. “More, Jungah,” her voice is insistent despite the unfamiliarity of it all.
When Jungah feels that Minseo’s already close to her first orgasm, she quickly pulls her fingers out, earning a soft whine from Minseo. As she pulls down her own underwear, Minseo peers over to what Jungah has in store for her. Jungah scoots closer towards Minseo, their pussies inches from one another. Jungah begins gyrating slowly on Minseo’s pussy, at which the other responds the same as she did previously, with two fingers inside her.
“Fuck, Jungah,” Minseo almost yells out. She immediately forgets she still has her shirt on when Jungah slips herself inside Minseo’s shirt, their pussies still in contact with one another, as she thrusts back in reflex with Jungah’s movements.
Jungah leaves her hands along Minseo’s slides when she’s cramped inside Minseo’s shirt. The two kiss gently despite the kind of sex they’re having. Minseo arches her back further whilst Jungah’s lips make their way down her neck down to her chest, her lips latching onto a nipple as her thrusts become erratic.
Minseo’s moans slowly increase in volume as her thrusts in return are also erratic. Jungah overstimulates Minseo’s clit with her thumb as she rides out her own orgasm, with the other’s hips stuttering from her own orgasm as well.
With a flop to the side, Jungah crawls closer to Minseo and nudges herself along the juncture between her neck and shoulder as the two drift into sweet sleep.
When Jungah wakes up the next morning, a smile creeps along her face knowing that everything that has been said and done the night before rang with truth, and no one can deny her that.
Beside him, Minseo wakes up groaning softly. The sun bleeds in from the thin curtains as light slowly falls along the young girl’s face down to her arms, the thin follicles of hair illuminating softly at a distance.
“Morning,” Jungah’s voice is dry, as always. The way she greets Minseo is almost as if she feels the need to add a term of endearment just in case, but the words fail and she can’t think of a good name to give to Minseo; so the morning greeting is left hanging. “Slept well?”
She doubts Minseo would notice anyways.
Minseo’s phone sits on the bedside table. Jungah figured if she slept better with songs from her playlist, she would probably fare better at waking up while listening to the same songs as well. “Dumb analogy,” she thinks, but it just might work.
The young girl beside Jungah only answers with a soft groan and a failed attempt at hiding herself under her pillow just to keep herself away from the sunlight. The soft sounds of Jamie XX’s Loud Places fills the room, and Minseo could only respond with more half-asleep groaning. “You’re horrible, you use my one weakness against me.”
“Good morning to you too, my dear.”
The familiar smell of breakfast quickly fills the air as Jungah takes the liberty of cooking breakfast for the two of them, in exchange for Minseo taking care of the dinner last night. It’s made just the way she likes her breakfast - more on rustic and nostalgic of home, in contrast to Minseo’s sophisticated techniques.
“I hope you like bacon steak and eggs, because that’s what we’re having,” Jungah’s voice croons, her voice is just as tempting as the food they’re about to eat. By now, Minseo is awake and slightly hungover from last night’s events. In Jungah’s case, she’s fine - perfectly fine. Rather, euphoric at the fact that she’s done this to her best friend.
Plates are placed in front of Minseo on their dining table and her face is nothing short of shocked. “I didn’t know you could cook, let alone prepare a meal like this,” her voice still dry from the sleep, immediately remedying it with downing a glass of water. “Thank you, Jungah.”
“Just because you can cook better than me, doesn’t give you the automatic right to underestimate my skills,” Jungah says, laughing softly. Her laughs are light-hearted, quickly filling the room and making Minseo laugh on reflex. It’s early in the morning and the two of them are more than happy to be sharing a meal such as this.
It’s an odd sight for them to not be sharing much of a conversation as they eat their breakfast. After all, meals are most definitely better when accompanied by good conversations. However, in this case, it only seems right that Jungah and Minseo are far more comfortable with one another in the arms of silence; appreciating each other’s presence instead of allowing words to prevail over them.
The familiar scene of eating breakfast together is no stranger for the two of them. Living under the same roof for years only means running into one another in the middle of a meal to be inevitable. Ever since then, the two have made an agreement to eat together everyday - it’s the only chance for the two of them to catch up on one another. They don’t share the same classes, either; they would rather focus on their studies as opposed to chat in the middle of classes, in the event that they do share some.
For most of the time they’ve spent sharing a place together, they’ve lived either on regular take-outs, or Minseo cooking for the two of them, especially on special occasions. The only time Jungah’s ever considered cooking would be whenever she was alone at home, or times where Minseo would be too sick to cook for the two of them. Either way, the rustic feel of Jungah’s cooking would always be a crowd pleaser - or in this case, roommate pleaser - as opposed to the usual luxurious feel.
On the drive back home, the two stick to their promise made in a dark room, with music to make Minseo fall asleep seamlessly. Jungah drives Minseo’s car, running at 110km/h down the same expressway they’ve been on just a while ago. Minseo’s by the shotgun seat, scrolling along her phone, choosing what to play next.
Regardless of who’s driving the car, Minseo always has control of the music that flows through the stereo speakers. Just as they’re passing by layovers, Local Natives’ Mt. Washington begins to play; the vocals seemingly haunting to the ears.
Minseo turns down the volume, and it immediately gets Jungah’s attention. “Is there something wrong? You don’t usually turn down music you enjoy hearing.”
“I need to tell you something, I just don’t know how to put the words together, though.”
“We have a long ride ahead of us, might as well try your best. I’m listening.”
“You see,” Minseo starts off, mildly stuttering in the process - from the fear or the excitement, Jungah’s not sure. “I’m not exactly sure if we’ll work out - as a thing, you know?”
Jungah’s about to react, violently, before Minseo stops the younger girl by holding her hand. “I know what you’re going to say - we, no, I, haven’t done this before, so who am I to call it quits before it even happens, or before it even has any chance of developing?”
The idea of Minseo calling it quits as early as now gives Jungah the image of a young child planting a small seed one day, hoping it turns out into a large tree after quite some time. However, the very next day the child kills it - pulls out the seed, or something along those lines. Before anything even happens, she’s already given up.
“Minseo, you said so yourself, though. You wanted to try this out; you wanted to see what would happen!”
“--And I do! I actually do want to know what happens, Jungah. But then, there’s that fear of the unknown, you know? I’m scared, Jungah. I’m scared.”
In just a span of two days, Jungah has seen far too many sides of Minseo’s personality, most of which she has no idea how to react to. Fear is a normal kind of paranoia that can seep into anyone’s minds and corrupt their way of thinking. However, it’s the fear of the unknown - the uncertainty that exists like a spot on the corner of a person’s peripheral vision - that gets shivers running down her spine, bringing a trail of goosebumps along her wrists.
“Jungah, talk to me, please.”
“Did you have anything else to say?”
“Jungah.”
“Was it the sex? Was there something you didn’t like in particular? Talk to me, Minseo, I don’t want to leave you with no choice at this point.”
The car swiftly turns towards the direction of a nearby layover. Minseo looks over to Jungah, the latter looking severely bothered at the immediate turn of events. The wheels screech at the abrupt brake before an empty diner. Jungah puts the gear shift on park and pulls up the handbrake, all while getting the intense urge to step out of the car and walk away from it - from Minseo.
“Jungah, it was none of those; you know me. I wouldn’t let you go because of something like that. i understand that was precious to you; you gave yourself to me, and it’s only right that I should respect every fibre of that.”
The engine is finally turned off; they key still remains in the ignition, however. “Why, though? You could at least consider the chance of letting me wait. Minseo, we live in the same place, you know I wouldn’t mind.”
“Please,” Minseo’s voice is desperate, almost like a child pleading to her parents. Jungah’s not exactly sure what to do at this point; they’re only halfway through the drive back to their place and the disappointment that hangs over them is too heavy to disregard. “Jungah, talk to me.”
“Minseo, you can drive yourself home. I think I need some time on my own.”
The younger of the two has her hands on the door handle when Minseo stops her, grabbing her by the wrist. “No, wait. I can drive, you don’t have to leave like this. How can I be sure that you’ll be coming home?”
“You should know that by now.”
It is almost midnight when Minseo tries to sit outside by the front porch, patiently waiting for Jungah to come home. After the misunderstanding they had back at the layover, Jungah proceeded to leave Minseo to drive back home on her own. Not knowing that the drive back home was too excruciating for the latter to even go through; the pain enough to leave her crying by the front seat for a good hour and a half before the looming sunset eventually forced her to return to the empty expressway.
Hands are covering her mouth as she softly whispers ‘please come home’ several times, a mantra that would eventually get her anxious every time someone were to cross their front porch in hopes of it being Jungah all along.
The air outside grows colder the deeper the night becomes. It isn’t until Jungah struggles with getting through the gate of their own place almost two hours later. She stumbles through the grass, clearly intoxicated and probably at the risk of not remembering how she got herself home in the first place. Minseo takes no time in assisting the young girl back into their shared room.
“I’m sorry you had to put yourself through this.”
Two years later, Minseo and Jungah are still sharing a place. There has been plenty of improvement since the last time they’ve crossed the boundary between friends and being intimate. Since then, the two remained good friends, but circumstances has limited itself to just that.
It is inevitable to think that Jungah might still be pining for Minseo, and the same probably applies vice-versa. However, an invisible force ultimately hinders the two of them from ever advancing from mere friends. In fear of losing something more between them, they don’t take the risk. Sometimes it’s only rational to think about how much the risk outweighs the actual prize. In this case, the risk was far too much.
Then again, there’s always the inevitable hand-holding whenever they’re together, and they can’t deny the other the simple pleasures.