#524: Something Like A Storm
Prompt: #524
Title: Something Like A Storm
Pairing: Jongdae/Jongin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: reference to past injury, scars, insomnia, talk about sex, language
Word count: 5,370 words
Summary: A pizza delivery boy shows up at Jongin’s front door, claiming he’s here to sleep with him.
Author's note: A huge thank you to the prompter for this wonderful prompt! I fell in love with it instantly and was desperate to read Banana Yoshimoto’s book. I wasn’t able to read it before I began writing this fic so I couldn't work in elements of the novel like I wanted to. I hope you’ll like the story, anyway! Last but not least, my love to A for letting me ramble on about this fic at inconvenient times and for just being the most wonderful friend in general ❀ and to lovely E for helping me get closer to the finish line ❀
Maybe all this time I’ve been waiting for something like this. Something like a storm.
Mabuchi Kou, ‘Ao Haru Ride’
Crack!
Jagged spears of lightning lit up the sky, making it flash bright-dark-bright-dark like strobe lights. The wild, elemental beauty of a lightning storm never failed to move Jongin. But the wonder never lasted longer than a few moments and then the bone-deep fear would come rushing in-suffocating him. Every single time.
Fingers trembling, he turned away from the window-scolding himself for even looking out. He knew it always ended badly so why did he keep staring out at storms when they happened? It was the dumbest thing, seriously? He needed to stop doing it.
Trying to ignore how badly his hands were shaking and how much his shoulder hurt, Jongin sank down onto the sofa. The pizza delivery guy was four minutes late and it was no surprise in this weather. He felt bad for the guy, having to drive through the torrential rain. The idea of anyone being out in the rain, exposed to lightning, made Jongin shudder with anxiety. What if something happened to the pizza guy? He knew he shouldn't have agreed to host movie night at his place, but Sehun and Baekhyun were human bulldozers who always managed to talk him into agreeing to everything.
"We've already paid for the pizza! It should arrive at 7.30 and we'll be there maybe ten minutes later? It's Friday night, you can sleep in tomorrow. Come on, dude, you don't even have to leave the apartment. You can wear PJs! It'll be fun."
Jongin had found himself nodding reluctantly-like a prisoner on death row. One day he'd actually say no to them. Today wasn't the day, but one day. As the lightning streaked across the sky one more time, the doorbell rang. Then the doorbell cut off abruptly as a dramatic clap of thunder made the windows rattle and hum.
Slightly freaked out, Jongin peered through the peephole. There was a thin man in the doorway holding what looked like-
A pizza box?!
The emergency lights were dim but Jongin could make out enough to see that the man was drenched. Jongin didn't want anyone witnessing his irrational fear of thunderstorms, but after what had happened to him all those years ago, he could not allow anyone to walk out into a thunderstorm. Not when he could offer shelter. Sighing, he slid the latch and turned the doorknob. By the time he pulled the door open, the power trip had been reversed and the building lights were back on.
"Hi," the young man smiled. With a wide mouth and boyish good looks, he had the kind of approachable face and laugh lines under his eyes that made people feel at ease, and maybe even a little happier. He had straight hair that was longish in the fringe, the rain-beaded tips touching equally wet thick eyelashes. "Sorry, I got a little damp on the way here," he apologized as he swiped water off his cheeks with a soggy white sleeve.
"I, um-you should come in and dry off. How much do I owe you for the pizza?" Jongin stepped backwards to let the man into his apartment.
"Pizza? I'm not sure I understand?" he looked utterly confused but walked in gratefully. "Is it okay if I leave my shoes here?" he asked politely and Jongin nodded. Gingerly, he toed off sodden black Chucks before pushing them together neatly against the wall.
"The pizza you're carrying, how much do I owe you for it?"
"Nothing?" He was smiling again and clearly bemused.
"But you're the delivery guy and I need to pay you for the pizza. Isn't that how it works?" Jongin was beginning to feel like maybe he shouldn't have let the man in. Was he delusional?
"Oh, no, I'm not the pizza guy! I'm Jongdae," he said like this somehow mysteriously explained everything.
"But why do you have my pizza?"
"They asked me to help them deliver it. Your friends, Sehun and Baekhyun? I think they've already paid for it? They were waiting for me downstairs and asked me to bring this up for you since I was on the way to your apartment anyway," Jongdae held the pizza box out towards him and Jongin took it in a daze. What the hell was going on? He wasn't sure what this was all about yet, but he was sure of one thing-Sehun and Baekhyun were responsible for everything. He was going to kill their conniving asses!
"Okay, never mind the pizza. Why were you on your way to my apartment?" Jongin's skin was buzzing with an odd mixture of excitement and dread.
"Oh, I'm here to sleep with you, of course. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Excuse me?!" Jongin choked out-only just managing to stop himself from dropping the entire box of pizza.
"You're having trouble sleeping. And I'm here to help," the man smiled.
Trouble sleeping?
And suddenly it came to him...the conversation he'd had with Sehun and Baekhyun by the water cooler three days ago. That had to be it.
☂
"Dude, you look. Like. Shit," Sehun gave Jongin an appraising look as he pressed the red-lit button and waited for his coffee mug to fill.
"I didn't really need the reminder, Sehunnie, but thanks," Jongin said tiredly. He wished he could have injected some sarcasm into that statement, but he was just too exhausted from yet another night of disturbed sleep to come up with anything remotely clever.
He glared into his coffee. It wasn't strong enough. The coffee was never strong enough for how tired he felt in the mornings. How tired he felt all day, really.
"Insomnia again? You need to get laid, Kim Jongin. So bad," Baekhyun announced with confidence.
"Shut up, Baek. It's too early for this."
"It's two in the afternoon! How many hours did you get last night?"
"I don't know. Three and a half, maybe four hours?"
"And the night before?"
"Three? Three and a half? I don't even know. I just know I feel like death."
"This can't go on." Sehun shook his head, looking like he was actually worried, for once, about something other than his game scores on Pillars of Eternity.
"I've tried everything. I stopped drinking coffee after 3pm. I use a lavender scented pillow. I take chamomile tea after dinner instead of coffee like I used to. And I make sure I don't shower late at night because that's supposed to stimulate the senses and I DO NOT NEED THAT. I do deep breathing and muscle relaxation exercises. Run a warm bath. I'm in bed by ten with the lights off and I lie there. And lie there. For hours. And I fall asleep eventually but I'll wake up four to five times during the night and goddammit, I just want to be able to sleep all through the night. For fucking once. I'm just so tired," Jongin folded his arms on the break room table-his cheek resting on them like they were a pillow.
"That list is hella long. Have you seriously been doing all these things?" Baekhyun looked incredulous.
"Yeah," Jongin flopped on the chair, letting his head slide onto the table with a dull thud.
"Dude, you're going about this all wrong. You need to add getting laid to that anti-insomnia list of yours. I am so serious about this."
"Not everything is about sex, Baek," Jongin groaned. "Anyway, I'm so tired at this point I'm pretty sure I couldn't even get it up anyway."
"That's why you need someone to HELP you," Baekhyun’s voice was laced with innuendo as he mimed a hand job.
"I'm not letting a stranger touch my dick!" Jongin managed to summon just enough energy to lodge an outraged protest.
"Is there anyone you know who would touch your dick in the interest of helping you get a good night's sleep?"
"NO!"
"I could probably find someone who would be willing to h-" Baekhyun said animatedly.
"No way, Baek. No way. I don't need to sleep that badly,"
"Just one date, come on,"
"No."
"It could be fun, Jongin. I mean think about how well you'd sleep after, you know, you got lucky." Sehun grinned at him for a split second, just before he launched into total science geek mode. "According to French researchers, when men orgasm, the cerebral cortex gets switched off. Then the cingulate cortex and the amygdala send a message to the rest of the brain, telling it to remove all sexual desire. And the brain does this by releasing sleep-inducing chemicals which include serotonin and opioids. Do you see?" Sehun enjoyed reciting scientific facts in a confident rush of words that often left Jongin's brain reeling. His friend's photographic memory was a truly fearsome thing. Sehun loved science but he possibly loved sharing scientific knowledge even more than he actually loved science itself. It was really too bad 85% of it went right over Jongin's head most days.
"No, I don't see. I can barely remember my name, Sehun. I can't science right now."
"Dude, it basically means you have sex, you come, then your brain knocks you out right after. PERFECT SOLUTION to all your insomnia problems," Baekhyun piped up helpfully.
"I'm not having this conversation," Jongin groaned just before they heard their supervisor yelling at them to get their asses back to their workstations. Sehun and Baekhyun didn't say anything but their eyes were filled with a kind of smug mischief that made Jongin nervous. Very very nervous.
☂
And then Jongin was transported back to his apartment, where he stood two feet away from a half-drowned young man with a Papa Luigi's pizza delivery in his hand-a young man who had just told Jongin he was here to sleep with him.
As another vicious flash of lightning struck the ground and the building lights went out again, Jongin wondered how much worse the day could possibly get.
⚡⚡⚡
It’s been twenty minutes. Why the hell isn’t the power back, you douches? Jongin shook his head as he placed tea lights on chipped saucers around the kitchen. Jongdae had been holding a torchlight for him while he hunted for the candles but he switched it off now that Jongin had lit the tealights. With only five dancing flames to illuminate the area, it was dim in an almost intimate way. Shadows moved along Jongdae’s face, caressing high cheekbones and strong jaw. He really was very attractive. Not that Jongin was in any way attracted to him.
"I just want you to know that I have nothing to do with this. I'm assuming Sehun and Baekhyun told you to come here. But I just want to make it clear that this wasn't my idea and I definitely do not expect you to sleep with me. So when the rain and the lightning stops, you're free to go," Jongin's words tumbled out of his mouth in an awkward flood and he regretted them the moment he'd unleashed them.
Jongdae sat across from him, taking a careful, tidy bite of Mexican Green Wave. If Jongin got nothing else out of this night's debacle, at least he'd get some free pizza-because Sehun and Baekhyun were totally paying for the fucking thing. My favorite flavor too, he thought to himself as he took his first taste of the pizza-the jalapeño and green peppers tantalizing on his tongue.
"Well," Jongdae chewed thoughtfully, "the thing is...I've been contracted to sleep here so I can't actually go anywhere until I do that. People from work will come pick me in the morning, in front of the building. And I have to be here or I don't get paid. I need the money so...can I stay? I don't really want to sleep outside the building, and I'll have to if you say no, because there's no way the security guard is going to be cool with me sleeping in the foyer." Jongdae watched him from across the table-his eyes quiet, anticipating.
Jongin's head was practically yelling itself hoarse in its eagerness to make him say NO! NO FUCKING WAY! But Jongdae looked so young and lost in the borrowed t-shirt and trackpants that were at least two sizes too big for him...and there was a storm and lightning and thunder and everything. Jongin would be the worst kind of asshole if he turned him out. He knew he was going to regret this in the morning, though. So Fucking Bad.
"I don't sleep with strangers!" Jongin said in panicked tones, holding his hands up in alarm.
"You make it sound like I'm here to have sex with you," Jongdae sounded a little offended.
"Isn't that why you're here? I mean just this afternoon, Sehun and Baekhyun were talking about how sex was the foolproof, ultimate answer to all my insomnia problems. And then they send you here tonight. What else was I supposed to think?!"
"I'm a SLEEP PROSTITUTE, not the other kind of prostitute. There's a subtle difference? I'm just here to help you sleep. Like just lie down beside you and sleep. No one is whipping out their dick tonight, I assure you."
“I didn't know there was any other kind of prostitute?"
"Well, my company offers only platonic services-strictly no sex. Maybe your friends didn't read the company profile properly when they hired me," Jongdae chuckled, “But once they called the agency, someone would have told them in no uncertain terms that there would be no sex at all.”
“Well. At least they’re not complete and utter shits then,” Jongin admitted grudgingly. “Still though, they should totally have asked if it was okay with me to have a complete stranger show up on my doorstep saying he was here to sleep with me. I mean seriously? Pizza or no pizza.”
“Maybe they didn’t think it was necessary since it’s not the other kind of sleep. Like I said, our services are strictly platonic,” Jongdae was chuckling again and it was a warm velvety sound. Jongin was annoyed by how much he liked it.
"What kind of platonic services exactly?" Jongin asked as he chewed on a slice of jalapeño.
"There are lonely people with all kinds of problems these days and there's something for everyone," Jongdae explained as he reached for another slice of pizza. "For example, there are people who just want a stranger to listen to their problems and be their friend for the night. There are companionship prostitutes for that."
"But why would you want to tell your problems to a stranger?"
"Because a stranger is paid to just listen and not judge. It's cheaper than therapy but a lot more comforting, in my opinion."
"There are people who miss home cooked food but hate to cook or don't know how to. My company has gourmet prostitutes who can come to your place, cook you a meal from scratch, do the dishes, then leave. Those are just a few examples. If you like having people read things to you, you can hire a reader prostitute. Music prostitutes who sing and play an instrument for you are very popular. But the company has a very strict policy that services are always provided on a non-sexual, one-on-one basis. That's non-negotiable."
"Why use the term prostitute then? Most people would assume you're providing sexual services."
"I don't really know? The system's been in place for years. I need the money so I don't rock the boat. It's not every day you find a job that pays you to sleep."
"Are there a lot of you? Sleep um..."
"Prostitutes?"
"I'm sorry but I really don't like that word."
"Yeah, there are at least eight of us on the team. I guess a lot of people have trouble sleeping these days," he shrugged.
"How does it work though? What do you do to help a person sleep? I mean clearly orgasm isn't on your list of strategies but what do you do? Shit, I did not just say that. I didn't mean to actually say that,"
"It's okay," Jongdae laughed and his mouth had this way of tilting up at the corners-it was like staring at pure joy, Jongin thought.
"How do I delete myself, oh my God?" If the floor could have opened up beneath his feet, Jongin would have gladly let it swallow him up.
"There's no need for such drastic measures!" Jongdae was grinning again, the laugh lines crinkling his face in the most attractive manner. Jongin really needed him to stop smiling and laughing and distracting him. He had to be calm so he could sleep and Jongdae was not calming him.
"So anyway, we just basically lie in bed with our clients, because having another person's warmth nearby and hearing them breathe is supposed to help calm you. More effective than a sleeping pill and much kinder on the kidneys."
"But what if a sleep um...person's snoring keeps the clients awake?"
"Nah, that won’t ever happen because a sleep prostitute doesn't snore. It's one of the criteria of employment: the candidate must not snore. There was a special part of the interview where we had to sleep overnight in an observation room, and candidates who snored were eliminated. The interviewer said we were supposed to help clients sleep, not keep them awake.”
“So hypothetically, you'd just lie there next to me and that would help me sleep?” Jongin eyed him suspiciously, but at this point, he was so exhausted from days of sleeplessness that he was willing to consider anything.
“Basically. So what do you say, Jongin? Let me do my job? After all your friends have hired me to help you; might as well let me try.”
Jongin's eyeballs stung from overuse, from being active for so much of the day. They needed recharging, Jongin thought as he blinked his dry eyes. And somewhere in the back of his skull, there was the low, persistent hammering of a headache and his limbs felt sluggish and achy. And of course there was the other thing-the storm always set off the pain.
I just want to sleep. I want to sleep so bad I'll try anything at this point. ANYTHING.
"Okay," he said in the end. Grudgingly.
"I know you're skeptical and totally weirded out about letting a complete stranger into your bed but I promise you that I will help you get a good night's sleep. And no one even has to take any clothes off. Just trust me," Jongdae's expression was deadpan, like he was talking about the weather.
"NO TALK OF CLOTHES COMING OFF!"
"That's what I said," he chuckled. Again. It was the most maddening sound.
"Just so we're clear," Jongin tried his hardest to frown but if Jongdae was intimidated, he was doing a very good job of hiding it.
"We are on the same page, don't worry. There will be no exposing of dicks. Scout's honor."
"You-"
But the rest of Jongin's words were swallowed up as a violent flash of lightning sundered the wet sky. Jongin's hands shook under the table at the impact. Violently. The tea lights flickered-some almost going out. They seemed to mirror his soul.
There would be no sleep for Jongin tonight-not with this kind of lightning. As the rain came down in torrents and the lightning and thunder continued to rip up the night, Jongin decided it was probably a good thing he had company. He could only hope that Jongdae couldn't see how shaken he was.
⚡⚡⚡
Jongin had called Baekhyun twenty minutes earlier, all outraged that they'd sent a total stranger to sleep with him. Laughing, his friend had assured Jongin that he and Sehun had checked the place out and signed an insurance policy "against theft and violation of client's person". Baekhyun insisted that he had friends who had used sleep prostitutes from this company, "they come highly recommended, so for God's sake, Jongin just use the guy and get some fucking sleep already! Sehun and I are worried okay? Just fucking sleep, ohmygod."
Despite Baekhyun's assurances, Common Sense and Self Preservation were still giving Jongin a lengthy list of reasons why he shouldn't be sleeping with a someone he'd never laid eyes on until hours ago. But his doubts were fast becoming overwhelmed by fatigue. Sadly, Jongin knew all too well that fatigue didn't necessarily mean he would fall asleep any time in the next few hours. And he knew that the stormy weather and an extra body in the room was just going to raise his anxiety levels through the roof.
Goodbye, sleep, he sighed, before glancing thoughtfully at the slim, slightly fragile looking young man on the other end of the mattress. Well, if nothing else, at least the electricity was back up. The alarm clock on the bedside table told him it was 10.05 PM. He wondered how long it would take before he actually fell asleep. Then he wondered how many times he would wake up through the course of the night and sighed.
I really hope you are a human sleeping pill like you say you are, Jongdae.
"So...we just...lie next to each other?"
"It's pretty uncomplicated, yup. You sleep where you usually sleep and I take the other side. And I won't touch you...um inappropriately or anything." Jongdae was chuckling again, what the hell?
"Are you laughing at me?"
"No, I'm not. I just find it really endearing that you look so wary of me when you have 4 inches of height and 15 pounds on me. I really am as harmless as I look, I swear. This is my job. I'm here to help you sleep. Let me do my job."
"I'm just-" Jongin shrugged, feeling helpless.
"Why don’t you lie down, Jongin," and there was something calming and reassuring about his voice that had Jongin climbing onto the bed. A few seconds later, a much slimmer, much smaller body settled itself beside him-the mattress sinking beneath the unaccustomed weight.
"So...we just lie here and I'll fall asleep?"
"Well, you're a ball of stress right now so it might take a few minutes," Jongdae turned towards him. He was smiling again, dammit. "Say, do you usually sleep with the light on?"
Maybe it was because he was tired or maybe like Jongdae had said earlier, it was sometimes easier to talk to strangers about things that you didn't want people in your life knowing about. Whichever was the reason, Jongin began telling him that he always left the lights on when there was a storm.
"Am I allowed to ask why? You don't have to answer but I hope you will," Jongdae's voice and eyes were quiet and neutral but somehow...caring and Jongin found himself opening up a box of memories he had kept stashed away for years. The memories sometimes forced their way out and haunted his dreams but he'd never actually spoken of them in eight years.
"I don't do well with storms. It's been storm season the last few weeks and that's the main reason I haven't been sleeping well. Sehun and Baekhyun, my dumb friends who hired you, they don't know anything about this."
"They won't find out from me."
Jongin thanked him but he'd already known that Jongdae wouldn't tell anyone what he heard tonight. There was just something about him-Jongin just knew he could be trusted with his secrets.
"When I was sixteen, I was out on the beach with my best friend Lu Han. The storm came real sudden-no warning at all. It was just drizzling at the start, so we were running towards some nearby caves for shelter. Lu Han was further ahead, he'd always been the better runner because he played soccer. Then, the lightning just came out of nowhere, y'know? So the world kinda lit up and then there was this dull ache in my shoulder and I was falling forward. I heard Lu Han calling my name but that's all I could remember. Other than the pain. The next thing I knew, I was in hospital with fractal scars on my left shoulder and a red mark my left foot. The doctors had some fancy name for it: keraunographic markings or something."
"I know what they are. They're also called arborescent erythema."
"How do you even know this?" Jongin watched him with an almost hysterical curiosity. Jongdae couldn't have...?
"I've been struck by lightning too, Jongin. I don't like the medical terms though. I just call my scars lightning flowers."
"You...call your scars? You mean you still have them? But doesn't skin feathering usually fade after a few days or weeks?"
"Technically, yes. But mine never have. Did yours fade?"
Too shocked to speak, Jongin slowly pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt to expose pale pink, fern-leaf patterns that branched out and clung to the skin of his left shoulder. Jongin had always found them ugly and that was why he never wore anything sleeveless or went swimming. And he avoided the beach most especially. Also, explaining was tiresome and really, no one needed to know what had happened other than his family and Lu Han. His best friend had picked up a small fractal scar of his own on his right thigh, from a ground strike, but his scar had faded a few days later-like it was supposed to. Jongin didn't understand why his scar hadn't faded. He hated it.
“That’s...I’m-” and for the first time since Jongdae had entered Jongin's apartment, he was rendered speechless.
"You hate it, don't you? Yeah, me too," Jongin muttered, pulling his sleeve down hastily.
"No, don't!" Jongdae protested, his hand shooting out to grab Jongin's wrist, to stop him from covering up the scar. “I can understand why you might hate it, but it’s just beautiful to me.”
“Anything but beautiful, you mean?” Jongin snorted, but he didn’t remove Jongdae’s hand.
“Can I touch it?”
“Why would you want to?”
“Because it’s pretty. And because I want to know if it feels like my scar.”
Closing his eyes, Jongin dragged his sleeve up and braced himself for Jongdae’s touch. When it came, it was like butterfly kisses--soft and fluttery, intimate. Jongdae’s fingertips went over the satiny bumps on his skin and Jongin heard him whisper: it feels just like mine.
“I wish I could just wake up one morning and find it gone.” He opened his eyes to find Jongdae staring at him, his face mere inches away.
“But it’s a part of you. It would be like losing a part of yourself.”
“I don’t consider it a part of me. I just want it to go away.”
“Does it hurt? Your scar? Does it hurt when there’s lightning?”
“Yes. It’s hurting now.” Absentmindedly, Jongin rubbed the scar.
“Mine used to hurt too, at the beginning. When it first happened, I hated it and I wanted it to disappear and it hurt every time there was a storm. But after a while, I got used to it and even learned to find the beauty in it. I don’t try to hide it from people anymore and they usually just ask the one time and then they never refer to it again. And once I accepted that I was going to be stuck with it for life, and that I was okay with that? The pain kinda went away. It’s been years since my scar stopped hurting.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with it,” Jongin sighed.
"You can take as long as you need, Jongin. But it's kinda nice not having to deal with the throbbing every time there's a lightning storm." They still lay side-by-side on the bed, thunder rumbling outside the window, and Jongdae gave him an encouraging smile before asking if he could show Jongin his scar. Just as Jongin had done, Jongdae pulled up his oversized sleeve to expose an almost identical network of lacy pink scars over his right shoulder. Jongdae’s fractal scar covered the exact same part of the shoulder as Jongin’s, just on the other shoulder.
“This looks so much like mine,” Jongin said in wonder as his fingers reached out and skated over the curly pink ridges. They felt just the same as his and while he had always found his scars unattractive, he found Jongdae’s beautiful.
“We’re practically a matched set,” Jongdae grinned, and for the first time that evening, Jongin smiled back.
“I can’t believe there’s someone else like me out here in this world,” Jongin turned and lay on his side so he they could face each other.
“Maybe our scars didn’t fade for a reason.”
“You mean like we were supposed to find each other? Like soulmates or some shit like that?” Jongin watched him curiously.
“Well, I don’t know if I believe in soulmates and shit, but...I think you’re cute and I think you’d be great company when you’re not like a deer caught in the headlights because some dude showed up on your doorstep saying he was here to sleep with you.”
“Did you just fucking insult me?” Jongin burst into surprised laughter.
“Trust me, you’ll know when I’m trying to insult you,” he said cheekily and they both shared a laugh.
For the next half hour, they just chatted about nothing in particular and Jongin thought it was a really nice change from him lying alone in the dark, tangled in his blankets as he spent hours trying to fall asleep and getting nowhere. But eventually, the sleep deprivation of the past week caught up with him and he found his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Maybe he was so sleepy he wasn’t thinking straight, or maybe he just liked the boy beside him--the boy like him who had "lightning flowers" on his skin--but Jongin wrapped his hand around Jongdae’s before he snuggled closer into his pillow. So tired.
As he drifted off, he heard Jongdae’s voice singing him a lullaby. Was it a lullaby? It didn’t sound like one but it was nice. So…nice. And Jongdae’s voice was just so dreamy...
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
Even his almost-asleep state, Jongin could tell that the lyrics were kind of strange. But Jongdae’s voice was so nice and his hand so warm and secure in his, and that was good enough for him. Then Jongin slept and slept and slept till morning--only waking up because Jongdae roused him at 7.25 AM.
“Jongin, the company vehicle is picking me up in five minutes so, I have to go. Company policy. But if you’re free this afternoon, we could hang out? Just go on a date, you know? Two guys spending time together. Would you want to?”
“Yes, I would. I’d like that a lot.”
Grinning, Jongdae gave Jongin’s hand a squeeze. Then they exchanged phone numbers and quick goodbyes, and for a moment, it looked like Jongdae was thinking about kissing him. But the moment passed and suddenly, Jongin was alone in the room. He still felt sleepy, he realized, but it was just a normal kind of sleepy--not the bone tiredness that had plagued him in recent weeks. Jongdae hadn’t been joking when he’d promised Jongin a good night’s sleep. The pillow he’d slept on still had a slight indentation from where his head had been, and Jongin smiled as he took the pillow and hugged it.
See you this afternoon, Jongdae, he thought as he yawned and went back to sleep.
⚡⚡⚡
Title: Something Like A Storm
Pairing: Jongdae/Jongin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: reference to past injury, scars, insomnia, talk about sex, language
Word count: 5,370 words
Summary: A pizza delivery boy shows up at Jongin’s front door, claiming he’s here to sleep with him.
Author's note: A huge thank you to the prompter for this wonderful prompt! I fell in love with it instantly and was desperate to read Banana Yoshimoto’s book. I wasn’t able to read it before I began writing this fic so I couldn't work in elements of the novel like I wanted to. I hope you’ll like the story, anyway! Last but not least, my love to A for letting me ramble on about this fic at inconvenient times and for just being the most wonderful friend in general ❀ and to lovely E for helping me get closer to the finish line ❀
Maybe all this time I’ve been waiting for something like this. Something like a storm.
Mabuchi Kou, ‘Ao Haru Ride’
Crack!
Jagged spears of lightning lit up the sky, making it flash bright-dark-bright-dark like strobe lights. The wild, elemental beauty of a lightning storm never failed to move Jongin. But the wonder never lasted longer than a few moments and then the bone-deep fear would come rushing in-suffocating him. Every single time.
Fingers trembling, he turned away from the window-scolding himself for even looking out. He knew it always ended badly so why did he keep staring out at storms when they happened? It was the dumbest thing, seriously? He needed to stop doing it.
Trying to ignore how badly his hands were shaking and how much his shoulder hurt, Jongin sank down onto the sofa. The pizza delivery guy was four minutes late and it was no surprise in this weather. He felt bad for the guy, having to drive through the torrential rain. The idea of anyone being out in the rain, exposed to lightning, made Jongin shudder with anxiety. What if something happened to the pizza guy? He knew he shouldn't have agreed to host movie night at his place, but Sehun and Baekhyun were human bulldozers who always managed to talk him into agreeing to everything.
"We've already paid for the pizza! It should arrive at 7.30 and we'll be there maybe ten minutes later? It's Friday night, you can sleep in tomorrow. Come on, dude, you don't even have to leave the apartment. You can wear PJs! It'll be fun."
Jongin had found himself nodding reluctantly-like a prisoner on death row. One day he'd actually say no to them. Today wasn't the day, but one day. As the lightning streaked across the sky one more time, the doorbell rang. Then the doorbell cut off abruptly as a dramatic clap of thunder made the windows rattle and hum.
Slightly freaked out, Jongin peered through the peephole. There was a thin man in the doorway holding what looked like-
A pizza box?!
The emergency lights were dim but Jongin could make out enough to see that the man was drenched. Jongin didn't want anyone witnessing his irrational fear of thunderstorms, but after what had happened to him all those years ago, he could not allow anyone to walk out into a thunderstorm. Not when he could offer shelter. Sighing, he slid the latch and turned the doorknob. By the time he pulled the door open, the power trip had been reversed and the building lights were back on.
"Hi," the young man smiled. With a wide mouth and boyish good looks, he had the kind of approachable face and laugh lines under his eyes that made people feel at ease, and maybe even a little happier. He had straight hair that was longish in the fringe, the rain-beaded tips touching equally wet thick eyelashes. "Sorry, I got a little damp on the way here," he apologized as he swiped water off his cheeks with a soggy white sleeve.
"I, um-you should come in and dry off. How much do I owe you for the pizza?" Jongin stepped backwards to let the man into his apartment.
"Pizza? I'm not sure I understand?" he looked utterly confused but walked in gratefully. "Is it okay if I leave my shoes here?" he asked politely and Jongin nodded. Gingerly, he toed off sodden black Chucks before pushing them together neatly against the wall.
"The pizza you're carrying, how much do I owe you for it?"
"Nothing?" He was smiling again and clearly bemused.
"But you're the delivery guy and I need to pay you for the pizza. Isn't that how it works?" Jongin was beginning to feel like maybe he shouldn't have let the man in. Was he delusional?
"Oh, no, I'm not the pizza guy! I'm Jongdae," he said like this somehow mysteriously explained everything.
"But why do you have my pizza?"
"They asked me to help them deliver it. Your friends, Sehun and Baekhyun? I think they've already paid for it? They were waiting for me downstairs and asked me to bring this up for you since I was on the way to your apartment anyway," Jongdae held the pizza box out towards him and Jongin took it in a daze. What the hell was going on? He wasn't sure what this was all about yet, but he was sure of one thing-Sehun and Baekhyun were responsible for everything. He was going to kill their conniving asses!
"Okay, never mind the pizza. Why were you on your way to my apartment?" Jongin's skin was buzzing with an odd mixture of excitement and dread.
"Oh, I'm here to sleep with you, of course. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"Excuse me?!" Jongin choked out-only just managing to stop himself from dropping the entire box of pizza.
"You're having trouble sleeping. And I'm here to help," the man smiled.
Trouble sleeping?
And suddenly it came to him...the conversation he'd had with Sehun and Baekhyun by the water cooler three days ago. That had to be it.
☂
"Dude, you look. Like. Shit," Sehun gave Jongin an appraising look as he pressed the red-lit button and waited for his coffee mug to fill.
"I didn't really need the reminder, Sehunnie, but thanks," Jongin said tiredly. He wished he could have injected some sarcasm into that statement, but he was just too exhausted from yet another night of disturbed sleep to come up with anything remotely clever.
He glared into his coffee. It wasn't strong enough. The coffee was never strong enough for how tired he felt in the mornings. How tired he felt all day, really.
"Insomnia again? You need to get laid, Kim Jongin. So bad," Baekhyun announced with confidence.
"Shut up, Baek. It's too early for this."
"It's two in the afternoon! How many hours did you get last night?"
"I don't know. Three and a half, maybe four hours?"
"And the night before?"
"Three? Three and a half? I don't even know. I just know I feel like death."
"This can't go on." Sehun shook his head, looking like he was actually worried, for once, about something other than his game scores on Pillars of Eternity.
"I've tried everything. I stopped drinking coffee after 3pm. I use a lavender scented pillow. I take chamomile tea after dinner instead of coffee like I used to. And I make sure I don't shower late at night because that's supposed to stimulate the senses and I DO NOT NEED THAT. I do deep breathing and muscle relaxation exercises. Run a warm bath. I'm in bed by ten with the lights off and I lie there. And lie there. For hours. And I fall asleep eventually but I'll wake up four to five times during the night and goddammit, I just want to be able to sleep all through the night. For fucking once. I'm just so tired," Jongin folded his arms on the break room table-his cheek resting on them like they were a pillow.
"That list is hella long. Have you seriously been doing all these things?" Baekhyun looked incredulous.
"Yeah," Jongin flopped on the chair, letting his head slide onto the table with a dull thud.
"Dude, you're going about this all wrong. You need to add getting laid to that anti-insomnia list of yours. I am so serious about this."
"Not everything is about sex, Baek," Jongin groaned. "Anyway, I'm so tired at this point I'm pretty sure I couldn't even get it up anyway."
"That's why you need someone to HELP you," Baekhyun’s voice was laced with innuendo as he mimed a hand job.
"I'm not letting a stranger touch my dick!" Jongin managed to summon just enough energy to lodge an outraged protest.
"Is there anyone you know who would touch your dick in the interest of helping you get a good night's sleep?"
"NO!"
"I could probably find someone who would be willing to h-" Baekhyun said animatedly.
"No way, Baek. No way. I don't need to sleep that badly,"
"Just one date, come on,"
"No."
"It could be fun, Jongin. I mean think about how well you'd sleep after, you know, you got lucky." Sehun grinned at him for a split second, just before he launched into total science geek mode. "According to French researchers, when men orgasm, the cerebral cortex gets switched off. Then the cingulate cortex and the amygdala send a message to the rest of the brain, telling it to remove all sexual desire. And the brain does this by releasing sleep-inducing chemicals which include serotonin and opioids. Do you see?" Sehun enjoyed reciting scientific facts in a confident rush of words that often left Jongin's brain reeling. His friend's photographic memory was a truly fearsome thing. Sehun loved science but he possibly loved sharing scientific knowledge even more than he actually loved science itself. It was really too bad 85% of it went right over Jongin's head most days.
"No, I don't see. I can barely remember my name, Sehun. I can't science right now."
"Dude, it basically means you have sex, you come, then your brain knocks you out right after. PERFECT SOLUTION to all your insomnia problems," Baekhyun piped up helpfully.
"I'm not having this conversation," Jongin groaned just before they heard their supervisor yelling at them to get their asses back to their workstations. Sehun and Baekhyun didn't say anything but their eyes were filled with a kind of smug mischief that made Jongin nervous. Very very nervous.
☂
And then Jongin was transported back to his apartment, where he stood two feet away from a half-drowned young man with a Papa Luigi's pizza delivery in his hand-a young man who had just told Jongin he was here to sleep with him.
As another vicious flash of lightning struck the ground and the building lights went out again, Jongin wondered how much worse the day could possibly get.
⚡⚡⚡
It’s been twenty minutes. Why the hell isn’t the power back, you douches? Jongin shook his head as he placed tea lights on chipped saucers around the kitchen. Jongdae had been holding a torchlight for him while he hunted for the candles but he switched it off now that Jongin had lit the tealights. With only five dancing flames to illuminate the area, it was dim in an almost intimate way. Shadows moved along Jongdae’s face, caressing high cheekbones and strong jaw. He really was very attractive. Not that Jongin was in any way attracted to him.
"I just want you to know that I have nothing to do with this. I'm assuming Sehun and Baekhyun told you to come here. But I just want to make it clear that this wasn't my idea and I definitely do not expect you to sleep with me. So when the rain and the lightning stops, you're free to go," Jongin's words tumbled out of his mouth in an awkward flood and he regretted them the moment he'd unleashed them.
Jongdae sat across from him, taking a careful, tidy bite of Mexican Green Wave. If Jongin got nothing else out of this night's debacle, at least he'd get some free pizza-because Sehun and Baekhyun were totally paying for the fucking thing. My favorite flavor too, he thought to himself as he took his first taste of the pizza-the jalapeño and green peppers tantalizing on his tongue.
"Well," Jongdae chewed thoughtfully, "the thing is...I've been contracted to sleep here so I can't actually go anywhere until I do that. People from work will come pick me in the morning, in front of the building. And I have to be here or I don't get paid. I need the money so...can I stay? I don't really want to sleep outside the building, and I'll have to if you say no, because there's no way the security guard is going to be cool with me sleeping in the foyer." Jongdae watched him from across the table-his eyes quiet, anticipating.
Jongin's head was practically yelling itself hoarse in its eagerness to make him say NO! NO FUCKING WAY! But Jongdae looked so young and lost in the borrowed t-shirt and trackpants that were at least two sizes too big for him...and there was a storm and lightning and thunder and everything. Jongin would be the worst kind of asshole if he turned him out. He knew he was going to regret this in the morning, though. So Fucking Bad.
"I don't sleep with strangers!" Jongin said in panicked tones, holding his hands up in alarm.
"You make it sound like I'm here to have sex with you," Jongdae sounded a little offended.
"Isn't that why you're here? I mean just this afternoon, Sehun and Baekhyun were talking about how sex was the foolproof, ultimate answer to all my insomnia problems. And then they send you here tonight. What else was I supposed to think?!"
"I'm a SLEEP PROSTITUTE, not the other kind of prostitute. There's a subtle difference? I'm just here to help you sleep. Like just lie down beside you and sleep. No one is whipping out their dick tonight, I assure you."
“I didn't know there was any other kind of prostitute?"
"Well, my company offers only platonic services-strictly no sex. Maybe your friends didn't read the company profile properly when they hired me," Jongdae chuckled, “But once they called the agency, someone would have told them in no uncertain terms that there would be no sex at all.”
“Well. At least they’re not complete and utter shits then,” Jongin admitted grudgingly. “Still though, they should totally have asked if it was okay with me to have a complete stranger show up on my doorstep saying he was here to sleep with me. I mean seriously? Pizza or no pizza.”
“Maybe they didn’t think it was necessary since it’s not the other kind of sleep. Like I said, our services are strictly platonic,” Jongdae was chuckling again and it was a warm velvety sound. Jongin was annoyed by how much he liked it.
"What kind of platonic services exactly?" Jongin asked as he chewed on a slice of jalapeño.
"There are lonely people with all kinds of problems these days and there's something for everyone," Jongdae explained as he reached for another slice of pizza. "For example, there are people who just want a stranger to listen to their problems and be their friend for the night. There are companionship prostitutes for that."
"But why would you want to tell your problems to a stranger?"
"Because a stranger is paid to just listen and not judge. It's cheaper than therapy but a lot more comforting, in my opinion."
"There are people who miss home cooked food but hate to cook or don't know how to. My company has gourmet prostitutes who can come to your place, cook you a meal from scratch, do the dishes, then leave. Those are just a few examples. If you like having people read things to you, you can hire a reader prostitute. Music prostitutes who sing and play an instrument for you are very popular. But the company has a very strict policy that services are always provided on a non-sexual, one-on-one basis. That's non-negotiable."
"Why use the term prostitute then? Most people would assume you're providing sexual services."
"I don't really know? The system's been in place for years. I need the money so I don't rock the boat. It's not every day you find a job that pays you to sleep."
"Are there a lot of you? Sleep um..."
"Prostitutes?"
"I'm sorry but I really don't like that word."
"Yeah, there are at least eight of us on the team. I guess a lot of people have trouble sleeping these days," he shrugged.
"How does it work though? What do you do to help a person sleep? I mean clearly orgasm isn't on your list of strategies but what do you do? Shit, I did not just say that. I didn't mean to actually say that,"
"It's okay," Jongdae laughed and his mouth had this way of tilting up at the corners-it was like staring at pure joy, Jongin thought.
"How do I delete myself, oh my God?" If the floor could have opened up beneath his feet, Jongin would have gladly let it swallow him up.
"There's no need for such drastic measures!" Jongdae was grinning again, the laugh lines crinkling his face in the most attractive manner. Jongin really needed him to stop smiling and laughing and distracting him. He had to be calm so he could sleep and Jongdae was not calming him.
"So anyway, we just basically lie in bed with our clients, because having another person's warmth nearby and hearing them breathe is supposed to help calm you. More effective than a sleeping pill and much kinder on the kidneys."
"But what if a sleep um...person's snoring keeps the clients awake?"
"Nah, that won’t ever happen because a sleep prostitute doesn't snore. It's one of the criteria of employment: the candidate must not snore. There was a special part of the interview where we had to sleep overnight in an observation room, and candidates who snored were eliminated. The interviewer said we were supposed to help clients sleep, not keep them awake.”
“So hypothetically, you'd just lie there next to me and that would help me sleep?” Jongin eyed him suspiciously, but at this point, he was so exhausted from days of sleeplessness that he was willing to consider anything.
“Basically. So what do you say, Jongin? Let me do my job? After all your friends have hired me to help you; might as well let me try.”
Jongin's eyeballs stung from overuse, from being active for so much of the day. They needed recharging, Jongin thought as he blinked his dry eyes. And somewhere in the back of his skull, there was the low, persistent hammering of a headache and his limbs felt sluggish and achy. And of course there was the other thing-the storm always set off the pain.
I just want to sleep. I want to sleep so bad I'll try anything at this point. ANYTHING.
"Okay," he said in the end. Grudgingly.
"I know you're skeptical and totally weirded out about letting a complete stranger into your bed but I promise you that I will help you get a good night's sleep. And no one even has to take any clothes off. Just trust me," Jongdae's expression was deadpan, like he was talking about the weather.
"NO TALK OF CLOTHES COMING OFF!"
"That's what I said," he chuckled. Again. It was the most maddening sound.
"Just so we're clear," Jongin tried his hardest to frown but if Jongdae was intimidated, he was doing a very good job of hiding it.
"We are on the same page, don't worry. There will be no exposing of dicks. Scout's honor."
"You-"
But the rest of Jongin's words were swallowed up as a violent flash of lightning sundered the wet sky. Jongin's hands shook under the table at the impact. Violently. The tea lights flickered-some almost going out. They seemed to mirror his soul.
There would be no sleep for Jongin tonight-not with this kind of lightning. As the rain came down in torrents and the lightning and thunder continued to rip up the night, Jongin decided it was probably a good thing he had company. He could only hope that Jongdae couldn't see how shaken he was.
⚡⚡⚡
Jongin had called Baekhyun twenty minutes earlier, all outraged that they'd sent a total stranger to sleep with him. Laughing, his friend had assured Jongin that he and Sehun had checked the place out and signed an insurance policy "against theft and violation of client's person". Baekhyun insisted that he had friends who had used sleep prostitutes from this company, "they come highly recommended, so for God's sake, Jongin just use the guy and get some fucking sleep already! Sehun and I are worried okay? Just fucking sleep, ohmygod."
Despite Baekhyun's assurances, Common Sense and Self Preservation were still giving Jongin a lengthy list of reasons why he shouldn't be sleeping with a someone he'd never laid eyes on until hours ago. But his doubts were fast becoming overwhelmed by fatigue. Sadly, Jongin knew all too well that fatigue didn't necessarily mean he would fall asleep any time in the next few hours. And he knew that the stormy weather and an extra body in the room was just going to raise his anxiety levels through the roof.
Goodbye, sleep, he sighed, before glancing thoughtfully at the slim, slightly fragile looking young man on the other end of the mattress. Well, if nothing else, at least the electricity was back up. The alarm clock on the bedside table told him it was 10.05 PM. He wondered how long it would take before he actually fell asleep. Then he wondered how many times he would wake up through the course of the night and sighed.
I really hope you are a human sleeping pill like you say you are, Jongdae.
"So...we just...lie next to each other?"
"It's pretty uncomplicated, yup. You sleep where you usually sleep and I take the other side. And I won't touch you...um inappropriately or anything." Jongdae was chuckling again, what the hell?
"Are you laughing at me?"
"No, I'm not. I just find it really endearing that you look so wary of me when you have 4 inches of height and 15 pounds on me. I really am as harmless as I look, I swear. This is my job. I'm here to help you sleep. Let me do my job."
"I'm just-" Jongin shrugged, feeling helpless.
"Why don’t you lie down, Jongin," and there was something calming and reassuring about his voice that had Jongin climbing onto the bed. A few seconds later, a much slimmer, much smaller body settled itself beside him-the mattress sinking beneath the unaccustomed weight.
"So...we just lie here and I'll fall asleep?"
"Well, you're a ball of stress right now so it might take a few minutes," Jongdae turned towards him. He was smiling again, dammit. "Say, do you usually sleep with the light on?"
Maybe it was because he was tired or maybe like Jongdae had said earlier, it was sometimes easier to talk to strangers about things that you didn't want people in your life knowing about. Whichever was the reason, Jongin began telling him that he always left the lights on when there was a storm.
"Am I allowed to ask why? You don't have to answer but I hope you will," Jongdae's voice and eyes were quiet and neutral but somehow...caring and Jongin found himself opening up a box of memories he had kept stashed away for years. The memories sometimes forced their way out and haunted his dreams but he'd never actually spoken of them in eight years.
"I don't do well with storms. It's been storm season the last few weeks and that's the main reason I haven't been sleeping well. Sehun and Baekhyun, my dumb friends who hired you, they don't know anything about this."
"They won't find out from me."
Jongin thanked him but he'd already known that Jongdae wouldn't tell anyone what he heard tonight. There was just something about him-Jongin just knew he could be trusted with his secrets.
"When I was sixteen, I was out on the beach with my best friend Lu Han. The storm came real sudden-no warning at all. It was just drizzling at the start, so we were running towards some nearby caves for shelter. Lu Han was further ahead, he'd always been the better runner because he played soccer. Then, the lightning just came out of nowhere, y'know? So the world kinda lit up and then there was this dull ache in my shoulder and I was falling forward. I heard Lu Han calling my name but that's all I could remember. Other than the pain. The next thing I knew, I was in hospital with fractal scars on my left shoulder and a red mark my left foot. The doctors had some fancy name for it: keraunographic markings or something."
"I know what they are. They're also called arborescent erythema."
"How do you even know this?" Jongin watched him with an almost hysterical curiosity. Jongdae couldn't have...?
"I've been struck by lightning too, Jongin. I don't like the medical terms though. I just call my scars lightning flowers."
"You...call your scars? You mean you still have them? But doesn't skin feathering usually fade after a few days or weeks?"
"Technically, yes. But mine never have. Did yours fade?"
Too shocked to speak, Jongin slowly pulled up the sleeve of his t-shirt to expose pale pink, fern-leaf patterns that branched out and clung to the skin of his left shoulder. Jongin had always found them ugly and that was why he never wore anything sleeveless or went swimming. And he avoided the beach most especially. Also, explaining was tiresome and really, no one needed to know what had happened other than his family and Lu Han. His best friend had picked up a small fractal scar of his own on his right thigh, from a ground strike, but his scar had faded a few days later-like it was supposed to. Jongin didn't understand why his scar hadn't faded. He hated it.
“That’s...I’m-” and for the first time since Jongdae had entered Jongin's apartment, he was rendered speechless.
"You hate it, don't you? Yeah, me too," Jongin muttered, pulling his sleeve down hastily.
"No, don't!" Jongdae protested, his hand shooting out to grab Jongin's wrist, to stop him from covering up the scar. “I can understand why you might hate it, but it’s just beautiful to me.”
“Anything but beautiful, you mean?” Jongin snorted, but he didn’t remove Jongdae’s hand.
“Can I touch it?”
“Why would you want to?”
“Because it’s pretty. And because I want to know if it feels like my scar.”
Closing his eyes, Jongin dragged his sleeve up and braced himself for Jongdae’s touch. When it came, it was like butterfly kisses--soft and fluttery, intimate. Jongdae’s fingertips went over the satiny bumps on his skin and Jongin heard him whisper: it feels just like mine.
“I wish I could just wake up one morning and find it gone.” He opened his eyes to find Jongdae staring at him, his face mere inches away.
“But it’s a part of you. It would be like losing a part of yourself.”
“I don’t consider it a part of me. I just want it to go away.”
“Does it hurt? Your scar? Does it hurt when there’s lightning?”
“Yes. It’s hurting now.” Absentmindedly, Jongin rubbed the scar.
“Mine used to hurt too, at the beginning. When it first happened, I hated it and I wanted it to disappear and it hurt every time there was a storm. But after a while, I got used to it and even learned to find the beauty in it. I don’t try to hide it from people anymore and they usually just ask the one time and then they never refer to it again. And once I accepted that I was going to be stuck with it for life, and that I was okay with that? The pain kinda went away. It’s been years since my scar stopped hurting.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay with it,” Jongin sighed.
"You can take as long as you need, Jongin. But it's kinda nice not having to deal with the throbbing every time there's a lightning storm." They still lay side-by-side on the bed, thunder rumbling outside the window, and Jongdae gave him an encouraging smile before asking if he could show Jongin his scar. Just as Jongin had done, Jongdae pulled up his oversized sleeve to expose an almost identical network of lacy pink scars over his right shoulder. Jongdae’s fractal scar covered the exact same part of the shoulder as Jongin’s, just on the other shoulder.
“This looks so much like mine,” Jongin said in wonder as his fingers reached out and skated over the curly pink ridges. They felt just the same as his and while he had always found his scars unattractive, he found Jongdae’s beautiful.
“We’re practically a matched set,” Jongdae grinned, and for the first time that evening, Jongin smiled back.
“I can’t believe there’s someone else like me out here in this world,” Jongin turned and lay on his side so he they could face each other.
“Maybe our scars didn’t fade for a reason.”
“You mean like we were supposed to find each other? Like soulmates or some shit like that?” Jongin watched him curiously.
“Well, I don’t know if I believe in soulmates and shit, but...I think you’re cute and I think you’d be great company when you’re not like a deer caught in the headlights because some dude showed up on your doorstep saying he was here to sleep with you.”
“Did you just fucking insult me?” Jongin burst into surprised laughter.
“Trust me, you’ll know when I’m trying to insult you,” he said cheekily and they both shared a laugh.
For the next half hour, they just chatted about nothing in particular and Jongin thought it was a really nice change from him lying alone in the dark, tangled in his blankets as he spent hours trying to fall asleep and getting nowhere. But eventually, the sleep deprivation of the past week caught up with him and he found his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Maybe he was so sleepy he wasn’t thinking straight, or maybe he just liked the boy beside him--the boy like him who had "lightning flowers" on his skin--but Jongin wrapped his hand around Jongdae’s before he snuggled closer into his pillow. So tired.
As he drifted off, he heard Jongdae’s voice singing him a lullaby. Was it a lullaby? It didn’t sound like one but it was nice. So…nice. And Jongdae’s voice was just so dreamy...
When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You're so fuckin' special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
Even his almost-asleep state, Jongin could tell that the lyrics were kind of strange. But Jongdae’s voice was so nice and his hand so warm and secure in his, and that was good enough for him. Then Jongin slept and slept and slept till morning--only waking up because Jongdae roused him at 7.25 AM.
“Jongin, the company vehicle is picking me up in five minutes so, I have to go. Company policy. But if you’re free this afternoon, we could hang out? Just go on a date, you know? Two guys spending time together. Would you want to?”
“Yes, I would. I’d like that a lot.”
Grinning, Jongdae gave Jongin’s hand a squeeze. Then they exchanged phone numbers and quick goodbyes, and for a moment, it looked like Jongdae was thinking about kissing him. But the moment passed and suddenly, Jongin was alone in the room. He still felt sleepy, he realized, but it was just a normal kind of sleepy--not the bone tiredness that had plagued him in recent weeks. Jongdae hadn’t been joking when he’d promised Jongin a good night’s sleep. The pillow he’d slept on still had a slight indentation from where his head had been, and Jongin smiled as he took the pillow and hugged it.
See you this afternoon, Jongdae, he thought as he yawned and went back to sleep.
⚡⚡⚡