#7: Symphony of the Heart
Prompt: #7
Title: Symphony of the Heart
Pairing: Chen/Liyin
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 7.862
Summary: Jongdae enters Ahn Eak-Tai with the expectation to polish his artistic skills and stepping towards his brighter future. What he does not expect is that school has more teaching in store than you intend it to.
When Jongdae stepped through the front door of the Ahn Eak-Tai School of Arts he felt that he had taken the next big step towards a great future. After applying for the school he had been invited to audition, which he passed with only slight nervousness and now he was here: ready to polish his skills. The Ahn Eak-Tai School of Arts had famous graduates whose names were in the mouth of people all over the world and Jongdae strove to join their company. He was by no means delusional to think everyone graduating from this institution would become a name, but he was confident to end as one of the lucky.
To give their students the opportunity to focus properly on Art, the Ahn Eak-Tai School of Arts had a dormitory system and Jongdae had been informed that every freshman was assigned to rooming with an upperclassman. Jongdae directed his steps to House 4, second floor, left apartment. He had moved most of the things he needed to the place already, but had yet to meet his roommate, Cho Kyuhyun. Of course he was curious about what kind of person he was, but mainly he wanted someone who did not care about his daily piano practice and was not too much of a spoil sport.
“You must be Jongdae. Welcome to the madness.” Kyuhyun greeted Jongdae from the kitchen when he opened to door to their shared apartment. Jongdae nodded and shuffled inside.
“We need to set down some rules first, I’m sure you agree. This place must be cleaned regularly and I don’t like it too dirty so I’d like to draw up a plan for it if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, not at all.” Jongdae replied and joined him the kitchen, putting food and drinks into the fridge.
They worked out a cleaning plan very fast and Jongdae found out that Kyuhyun was a senior in the music department, the instrument of his choice the clarinet. They agreed that they did not need set practice time and could play whenever. For a second Jongdae contemplated asking to play together, but he understood Kyuhyun, as senior, had to offer first.
Gladly they hit off very well and Jongdae was confident in saying he even found something like a friend in his roommate. He caught himself only starting to practice when Kyuhyun had stopped his, because the older had a very endearing style of playing and Jongdae enjoyed listening. Sometimes they spent time gaming together and since neither of them was the type to go out, Jongdae soon learned to appreciate the wit and sarcasm of his roommate. It almost made him sad to know that the year after he would have a new person to share the apartment with.
After 3 months of school Jongdae was sure to have made the right choice in choosing to go to Ahn Eak-Tai School of Arts. He was surrounded by people like him who loved art and needed to express it. As far as the musical part of classes was concerned, Jongdae was doing just fine. He enjoyed scales analysis and musical theory. Piano classes were more relaxing than challenging and his individual lessons with his appointed teacher Shik were pleasant. He felt that his teacher understood which compositions fitted him best and gave him pieces he enjoyed practicing. He received few pointers on his speed and realized soon that he did not need much additional practice aside from his daily stint. It irked him that a few of his classmates struggled with piano class appointments.
Truth be told, the piano had always been his confidence. From the moment he was grown enough to sit on the piano stool, Jongdae’s fingers had loved to play tunes on the white and black keys. His parents had realized his abilities early on and he had received special lessons from the age of 6. At 8 he already had been on several shows and even in a drama for an episode. With age he continued loving to play, more shows were visited and he had played for the CEO of Lotte even, recently. Jongdae liked showing what he could do and it was natural to him for receive praise for his abilities.
Problems arose for Jongdae when the non-musical classes had less good results. His first tests had not exactly the best grading and when he looked at his average after the first three months, he had to admit he was in trouble. Being too focused on his piano had made all of his marks suffer and he realized with gritted teeth that he had to up his game if he wanted to graduate with proper marks in all subjects.
“Kyuhyun, I need your help.” Jongdae casually told his roommate while they watched a variety show in his room.
“How exactly?” Kyuhyun replied with his mouth full of potato chips.
“I need help with a few classes. My grades are not that great.”
“Little genius is having problems with simple functions?” Kyuhyun teased.
“Well, Math is a bit of a problem, but I also fail History and have troubles with History of Music at times.” Jongdae admitted and fetched the bag from Kyuhyun’s hands.
“Look, I can help you with Math, no big deal, but History is not my best subject either. Although, I have a junior with whom I do chamber music pieces. She is the top of her class in History.”
“Could you ask her to help me? I would pay her for it of course.”
“You know, she’s such a nice girl, she’d probably tutor you in exchange for piano lessons instead of money. She told me once that she learned it as a child but gave up again very fast. I had the feeling she has a few regrets about it.”
“That would be no problem. Will you ask her?”
“I will. But I guarantee nothing.”
That was how Zhang Liyin came into Kim Jongdae’s piano focused life.
.
“Liyin!”
It was very unusual of Kyuhyun to make a commotion whatsoever in the hallway and by the pleased tone in his voice Jongdae could make out that his roommate was honestly pleased to see their guest. It baffled Jongdae when he opened the door and got hit with a wall of Chinese, Kyuhyun and Liyin speaking quietly. He only understood basics and Kyuhyun’s fluency took him by surprise. More surprising was the young woman with the slightly husky but nonetheless smooth tone standing in the door to their kitchen. Jongdae had expected a cutesy girl in colorful skirts, but his future tutor wore a simple dark summer dress with few highlights stitched into the fabric. It looked classy and gave her a mature aura. Clearly she was older than him. To say he was merely intrigued would be a lie.
“Uhm, hi.”
He greeted Liyin and she turned to him with a shy smile.
“Hello Jongdae. Ready to start?”
Well, her Korean was not bad. Jongdae wondered how long she had been in Korea already.
“Kyuhyun told me your history marks are a mess so I prepared you a quiz to get an idea where your basics are and how we can go about with each topic. I also made one for history of music since you expressed you lack there too.” Liyin explained while they settled in his room.
Jongdae shuddered at the thought of quizzes, but they were certainly a practical way to recognize his weak points and analyze which periods were his problems. A pained look must have struck his face, because Liyin laughed lightly and glanced over to the piano.
“Don’t worry, you will just have to do one today. I suggest you just solve the questions to the first half of the topics and then we go on about you teaching me the piano. How does that sound?”
“Sounds good.” Jongdae agreed and prayed the quiz was not so hard so they could proceed to the piano lessons soon.
.
Soon her learned that Zhang Liyin was every bit beautiful than shy. Every time Jongdae leaned over to point at sentences in his history book, she pulled away. Usually Jongdae would not mind, but strangely he felt dared. He was not that bad looking and took care of his hygiene. Having Liyin shift away from him hurt his ego and so he put extra afford to smell nice when she came over each week and wore clean clothes. Kyuhyun poked fun at him for it, but Jongdae found himself not caring. She was so nice and sweet and he wanted her to feel comfortable around him. More than once he considered asking what he could do to make her feel less tense around him, but he worried she would shy further away. Instead he preached himself to have patience. Time would help them grow closer; he simply had to hold his impatience in check. Just, it was so hard when she laughed at his jokes airily or when strands of her hair slid from where she had tugged them behind her ears and covered her face while she bent slightly over his piano. She fitted right into his room and he wanted to fit right next to her in the picture.
.
“I will never learn this.” Jongdae complained and threw his pen onto the damned history book. “Why does it matter what caused the economic plight? People just revolted.”
Liyin sighed and flicked his forehead, taking him by surprise with the sudden closeness and contact of skin. Clearly she did not approve of his behavior so much that she had overcome her usual shyness.
“Ouch. Would you stop that?”
“No. I know that is does not matter to you, but it mattered to the people and was a reason why they rose against their rulers. That’s why.”
“But I still don’t understand how all those factors caused exactly that reaction.”
Liyin sighed heavily and automatically his gaze was drawn to the creamy skin of her chest as it heaved. Mentally he scolded himself, he was here to improve his marks and not add another distraction. She stood up and sat down on his piano bench, gesturing him to sit down beside her. Hesitantly he joined her, staring in surprise when she laid her fingers on the keys, their arms touching in process.
“Remember how playing certain chords create a hit song? It might be a bad comparison, but just imagine this. C major is the desire to live a carefree life. A minor is the dissipation of the nobility. D minor is the Economic misery and G major is the military showing support to seize the power.”
She looked for the keys on his piano and pressed them one by one before sloppily playing them together. Jongdae did not move one centimeter and watched her fascinated and pleased. The force she used to press the keys had improved since the previous time.
“Together they create the reaction of people overthrowing the ruler. It’s that simple, you see?”
And Jongdae saw. Or rather, he heard.
“Liyin, you are a genius.” He breathed out and stared at her with wide eyes. She blinked at him.
“Am I?”
“Absolutely. Everything makes sense now.”
He laid his hands on the keys, playing the chords while mumbling the context to himself. He faintly heard Liyin giggle at his side. She had not moved away from him.
“If associating keys and chords helps you understand history then I am almost sure your problem in the subject will be solved in no time.” She noted and grabbed her notepad, scribbling down several words.
“I will look for pieces and see to fit events of the periods into them. You can do this, Jongdae.”
She looked so excited and blissed, he immediately believed her.
Maybe it was also the fact that she pressed her thigh against his without flinching.
.
Eventually his marks improved. Jongdae was relieved and grateful towards Liyin, he did not think without her this would have been possible. Their discovery of a useful learning method for him had saved him, really and he used it for other subjects as well, realizing with the right means and motivation he could easily keep general subjects and musical subjects balanced.
“Here, this is for you.” Liyin told him when she left after helping him prepare for an upcoming test and held a card out to him. Jongdae gave her a surprised look before taking the piece of paper from her extended hand.
“You have worked hard and I want you to have a night of enjoyment, no studying and no performing yourself. The first orchestra is holding a concert night and I would be very happy if you were in the audience. I heard you play so many times; I thought it is time I give that back to you.”
“Thank you.” Jongdae replied genuinely and studied the ticket, looking for area, row and seat.
“Oh, I chose a seat where you get a clear sound from the violin.” Liyin said bashfully and Jongdae dared to nudge her gently, smiling when she nudged back.
“You are always so considerate, do you know that? Do you even have less sweet sides to you?”
“Maybe…” she said cheekily and picked up her bag from the floor. Jongdae blinked surprised. Now this was a new side to her. With an occupied mind he accompanied her to the door, serving as support when she tried to wriggle into her heels.
“I let you in on something.” Liyin said, turning around in the building’s hallway.
“I bet you look hot in a suit. Do me the favor, wear one.”
Jongdae still stared in shock when the clicking of her heels had long muted.
.
Liyin had personally invited him to her performance. Jongdae still did not quite grasp it when he waited outside the concert hall, tugging at the collar of his white shirt with the hand which was not gripping a bouquet for Liyin. Why he was nervous he did not know, at least he could tell the reason for his excitement, however. Tonight he would hear Liyin breathe her music.
Over the time of being tutor and student for each other, Jongdae had only ever played for her and with her, but never had he come into the pleasure of Liyin with her instrument, the violin. Undoubtedly she was talented for piano and Jongdae hoped he could play a duet with her someday, but it was not the same. If the violin was Liyin’s natural, then her true musical beauty would reveal when the bow met the strings.
Jongdae found his place relatively fast and it confused him a little when not one of his seat neighbors revealed to be there for Liyin. He had thought her parents to come by, or friends, but when the lights dimmed it dawned him that Liyin’s friends ultimately meant one person tonight: Kim Jongdae.
Liyin stood as the conductor entered and with a little bashfulness Jongdae realized that she was the concert master. Embarrassingly he had always assumed she was a mere student in her field without a particular role. Jongdae was entirely baffled and a little ashamed about his rude assumption. He should have asked, after all they had spent plenty of time over the last weeks.
His eyes stayed glued on Liyin and he braced himself when she rose for the violin solo. He longed to know how skilled she was to have earned her position in the orchestra.
The first note rang through the hall, setting a whole violin quartet off to play in Jongdae’s heart. Liyin looked possibly blissed as she made her violin sing a melancholic tune. It caused Jongdae both a musical boner and amplified his attraction towards his tutor. She took his breath away. Never before had he heard a musician express such sadness, the emotion raw and vibrating on every string of Jongdae’s nerves. He was enticed, thoroughly and finally. The evening was spent in wonder for him, his hearing sharpening to the sound of the violins. It was as if Liyin had known that he would want to hear the violins best once he had heard her.
Still astonished he congratulated Liyin on her performance when she finally came into the foyer after the end of the concert.
“You are absolutely incredible.” Jongdae complimented her and noted with satisfaction the rosy color rising in her cheeks when he held the flowers out to her.
“Thank you so much. Those are lovely!” Liyin exclaimed and Jongdae wanted to say so much, wanted to monologue a praise on her expression and the emotions he had felt, her superb technique and how well-deserved she was the concert master. Instead he stood in front of her and just inhaled her presence.
His tongue was tied.
“I was right.”
“Excuse me?” Jongdae asked, Liyin’s statement confusing him.
“I said that I was right. You look hot in a suit.” Liyin repeated with a broad smile and Jongdae swore it had him slightly flustered.
“Thank you. Also, thank you for the ticket, I really enjoyed myself and the seat was so well chosen, I had the perfect-“
In that moment someone stepped behind Liyin and cleared his throat, Liyin turning around immediately. The words died in Jongdae’s throat.
“Liyin, I was wondering if you wanted to come out for drinks with the rest of the orchestra, Teacher Cho has given us permission to celebrate thoroughly tonight.”
Henry Lau, out of everyone, had to interrupt them. As if he sensed that Jongdae did not approve of his sudden presence, Henry peaked around Liyin and settled his eyes on him.
“Hello Jongdae.”
“Hello Henry.”
“You guys know each other?” Liyin inquired surprised, turning half back to Jongdae.
“He’s my junior in piano.” Henry explained and Jongdae narrowed his eyes at how Henry stressed his position in their loose relationship.
“Ah, right.” Liyin nodded and tilted her head at Henry.
“Actually I wanted to go for some coffee with Jongdae and hear his thoughts about tonight.”
Something swelled in Jongdae’s chest, the fact that Liyin placed importance on his opinion making his brain run fast for analysis.
“He can come with us, I’m sure some of the girls will love partying with our school’s resident piano genius.” Henry shrugged and grinned teasingly. If eyes could throw daggers, Jongdae’s would.
“Is that okay with you?” Liyin asked him and even though Jongdae knew it was a bad idea, that he would be a stranger and probably not get to speak to Liyin all that much, he agreed.
“Fine. How do we get there?”
.
Liyin was completely unaware of it, but Jongdae and Henry had a small competition running among them since Jongdae entered Ahn Eak-Tai. Judging by how often Henry poked fun at Jongdae’s television history, one would feel inclined to think Henry felt threatened by Jongdae’s pre-school fame, but it was something different. They tended to come out on top at the monthly piano division scores, sometimes Henry on top and sometimes Jongdae.
Perhaps calling their competition small was a lie. They both strove to work as professional musician after graduation and they were each other’s biggest rival. If you asked Jongdae then Henry could relax some more, because Henry was also one of the top students in the violin division and like Liyin in the first orchestra of the school. It seemed though that this was not enough. Jongdae was at the point that Henry’s presence was a sole disturbance to him and everything about the older student got him riled up in a matter of seconds. They really had enough things to rub each other with in the wrong way.
Unfortunately Liyin now joined those things. More so, she became a main factor.
-
“Lucky you, Liyin never gave me a ticket to see the first orchestra.” Kyuhyun complained and threw a paper ball at Jongdae, missing him by mere centimeters.
“It was a reward for working hard and improving my marks.” Jongdae defended himself and threw the ball back. Kyuhyun caught it with ease.
“She tutored me before and I never got rewards.”
“Well, maybe you weren’t a very obedient student.” Jongdae suggested and dodged the flying paper. Kyuhyun shook his head and sighed. Then he grinned challenging at Jongdae.
“You got it bad for her. Whatever she says, you become a puppy called by its owner.”
Jongdae looked at his roommate and figured, whatever, he was not going to deny it.
“Yeah.”
He hit Kyuhyun right in his surprised face when he threw it back to him.
“Do something about it then.”
“I can’t. She’s my senior and I doubt she sees me as more than a friend. Who is going to tutor me if she says no?”
Kyuhyun snorted at him.
“Then be a chicken. You only get things in this world if you take the initiative.”
“Did you not just call me a puppy?” Jongdae said cheekily. “Besides, why aren’t you in the first orchestra? Your clarinet scores are astronomic.”
Kyuhyun fidgeted with his pants then sighed.
“I might have riled up Teacher Cho one time too many over the years. And I don’t want him to be accused of bias again for putting his son into the orchestra, so I stepped back after the éclat last year.”
“Wait, what?”
Kyuhyun sighed heavily and aimed the paper ball at Jongdae’s waste bin.
“There was a student who wanted into the first orchestra badly and my father told him he wasn’t ready yet. I think it was an act of revenge, because he went to his parents who then gathered other students who had been refused a place in the orchestra and complained to the board of administration. They accused him of disadvantaging students in favor of his own son. I figured they would end up asking me to pull out and offer special treatment in another way and I didn’t want that. It would have hurt my father and my own pride, so I made things easier for everyone by stepping down. They did re-auditions with an independent jury, but that student still didn’t make it. He left the school by now, thank God. Else I would probably have broken his nose at some point. At least Liyin had a chance to shine again and was chosen as concert master.”
“Wow.” Jongdae said. “That’s massive. I didn’t know he was your father or about any of that.”
“I know.”
“If it helps, I think you deserved that spot.”
“Thanks Jongdae, coming from your high standards I really appreciate it.”
Jongdae wrestled him down and they fought until he hit his nose against the piano stool.
.
“Know what’s funny?” Henry said to Jongdae during piano classes. “You’re such a snob, but I swear around Liyin you’re such a good little boy.”
“I’m sorry, are you jealous?” Jongdae bit back “I always knew you loved me, but this is straight out obsession.”
“Didn’t you know? I’m the president of Ahn Eak-Tai’s Kim Jongdae fanclub.” Henry retorted and promptly paused playing because he forgot to turn his sheet page.
“See, you make me lose my key.”
Jongdae snorted, because despite being lame that was actually funny.
“Tell my apologies to your violin for your lusting after the piano man.”
“I think she’s okay, she still gets more action than you. Does Liyin even notice you or have you not passed fetus phase yet?”
Jongdae wanted to strangle Henry so badly.
“She’s slow with realizing that someone likes her, you know.”
“And you’re telling me that why?” Jongdae finished his piece and turned to Henry curiously.
“There are guys in this school who know and like her longer than you do.”
“Yet they failed thus far, my chances are good to be honest.” Jongdae smirked challenging. Henry narrowed his eyes.
“I’m warning you, junior, don’t get in my way.”
.
Jongdae did not want it to be a challenge, a competition, but Henry’s warning fueled him. He wanted Liyin, even more so now than before.
“What is Henry to you, actually?” he pressed as he taught Liyin a piece on the piano. Since her work was mostly done they had went over to intensify Liyin’s piano lessons. She lifted her hands and gave him a curious look.
“Why?”
“I’m curious. You two seem very familiar with each other.”
“So do Kyuhyun and I and you never ask about him.” Liyin pointed out and laid her fingers on the keys again, sloppily playing the tune again.
“That’s because I know Kyuhyun.”
“I see.” Liyin said absent-mindly.
“Liyin, come on. I just want to know.”
With a sigh she stopped playing and turned to him, her thigh pressed firmly against his.
“We entered the school in the same year, we are practice partners for violin and he was the one to practically dragging me to orchestra auditions, because he told me I’m better than I think.”
“Well, you are.”
“Don’t interrupt me.” Liyin frowned at him. Jongdae immediately shut his mouth and made a zip motion above his lips.
“We both have Chinese parents and he understands a lot about the struggles I went through here with the language and prejudices a few students made me face. He is someone I can confide in. Does that answer your question?”
“Yeah.” Jongdae mumbled and thought for a moment. Not that he liked it, but he gave Henry kudos for going the friendship way and trying to win Liyin’s affections. The concept did not promise success however, so Jongdae ruled it out for himself. Yet he wondered if there were more feelings on Liyin’s side for Henry.
“Why do you want to know, really? Henry told me that you two don’t get along very well.”
“That’s an understatement.” Jongdae snorted and turned the scores. “I am his favorite teasing object. Every day he goes on joking about my fame and how stuck up I am. I understand that he feels threatened, but he goes on my nerves.”
“Hold your tongue there.” Liyin said sharply and Jongdae blinked at her. Never had she snapped at him like this.
“What?”
“Someone has to tell you this eventually and I am going to be that one, because I think coming from me you might accept it at least a little. I am not sure if you realize but you do come off as arrogant and above all of this. When was the last time you put effort into analyzing and practicing a piece? This all seems a game to you, just another school, just another boring step stone to your brilliant career as famous pianist. Can you blame other students for not liking you? I have seen Henry work hard all those years; his scores come from bleeding and suffering for the music. Your scores come from playing around and if you ever look at his technique scores, then he’s always above you. This school offers you great teachers to improve your skills and you are brilliant, no denying, but you are not polished at all yet. Carrying yourself with the air you do just creates enemies and will make you lonely.”
First Jongdae stared at her wide-eyed, and then anger rose in him. The words hit, they hurt him and if he had expected them, then from anyone but Liyin. His vision turned red.
“I am not arrogant.” He hissed and rose from the piano stool, grabbing the scores and throwing them around the room. Liyin just blinked at him.
“Not in the core, no, but you act like it and this can’t continue.”
“You say that like you know me, like you know anything I come from or like you actually care about me.”
A look crossed Liyin’s face, one that, if Jongdae was not so angry, would have made him take back his words immediately. However, he was so riled up and angry he could not stop himself. Slowly she stood up and grabbed her bag, making her way to the door.
“I think we need to stop tutor sessions. You are not willing to listen and learn.”
“I am-“
“No, stop. Don’t say anything further. If you don’t realize when people want to help you, then I can’t make you.” Liyin held a hand out to keep him at distance and marched into the hallway, quickly slipping into her shoes without asking him to step close as leaning post.
“Liyin, look, I-“
She closed the door into his face.
.
“Did somebody ever tell you that you are an idiot?”
“You did, just now.” Jongdae bit back at Kyuhyun who shook his head at him in disappointment.
“Can I repeat it?”
“Get out.”
.
It took Jongdae until the next day to chew on it. The first few hours he had dismissed every word, laughed at their ridicule and sworn not to care, but he woke up the next morning feeling nerveless and more exhausted than before sleep. He tried playing to keep himself together, but Chopin’s scores bore into the back of his brain with the nagging thought that he had, in fact, never actually analyzed the score properly. Contrary to all his classmates, his scores were barely covered in any scribbles, he usually played after a general analysis, but he did not place much importance on the deeper impact or intention of the composer.
He had been indulged in his music, but he had played mostly for himself and not for the piece. Playing the piano had been doing music for his satisfaction and he had been perfectly satisfied with his skills, also glad that everything seemed easy and he could laze through the year. But, a piece of composition was not to make the artist shine, it was his task as musician to make the piece shine. The pianist was the means, the music the result.
Liyin was right.
He was ridiculous. Yes, he had great marks in music related subjects, but all his talent was nothing if he did not love the music more than his own halo. Along the years he had lost the passion accompanying him at the start, the fascination with the notes and the music he created. It was the lost innocence of a child and he needed to gain it back. He could play around, but appreciate the music foremost and show people he loved every piece, every note, every key he pressed.
In a school where everyone loved music, he was grotesque. No one needed someone just present to distinguish himself for his own satisfaction. People did not find him arrogant, because he was talented, they found him arrogant, because he took what he had for granted.
Liyin, shy and introverted Liyin who preferred mostly solitude and peace, had been the only one daring to let him know it was time to stop. Only Liyin had been brave to show him is limits. Only Liyin cared enough for him on the long run, only Liyin had acted in his interest by not joking about his fame, but by showing him genuine honesty.
And he had hurt her.
.
“Kyu?”
“Yeah?” Kyuhyun said, putting down his clarinet. Jongdae had interrupted him in the middle of practice.
“Am I that terrible?”
Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow at him and then smiled fondly. Jongdae felt a fracture of relief at the action.
“Sometimes. I don’t mind it, because you appreciate music in the end and you care about skills. But the people in piano division find you terrible, I’m not going to hide that from you.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Jongdae replied with a sigh and ruffled his hair. “I suck, I know.”
“No you don’t. You are brilliant, but unruly. Look, I am unruly too, but I know when it’s better for me to comply. Try it, it’s not half as bad and you learn from it.”
“I’ll consider it.” Jongdae mumbled and moved to close the door again.
“Hey, wait.”
Jongdae peered back into the room. Kyuhyun held his clarinet up.
“Want to play something together?”
.
Jongdae was prepared. Everything was thoroughly organized and set up and waiting for the main person. He was waiting for Liyin.
It had been two weeks since they had fought, two weeks of her continuing to walk when their eyes met in the hallway, two weeks of rarely seeing her, let alone speaking to her. Two weeks of missing her terribly, while repenting.
One week had passed since he had swallowed his pride and asked Henry for help with technique. One week had passed since Teacher Shik had given him technically complicated pieces by his own request. He found himself enjoying the challenge and also minor improving his technique.
Almost each day of those two weeks he had practiced one piece over and over and on Thursday he had entrusted a letter to Kyuhyun who then passed it on to Liyin. And now he was waiting in his empty flat, his empty room and crossed his fingers.
He rammed his knee against the underside of the piano when he stood in hurry at the door bell ringing. With a low curse he hobbled to the door, a sigh of relief passing his lips when it revealed Liyin on the other side.
“Here I am. You wanted to talk.”
“Come in.” Jongdae gestured past him and took a step back to let her in. He walked back to his room before her and sat down on his piano stool. The room was cleaned, neat, and light flooded through it.
Liyin stood awkwardly in the middle of the room and looked at him expectantly.
“So?”
“Sit here with me.” Jongdae patted the place next to him on the piano stool. She looked at him with skepticism, but slid right into place. Jongdae laid his fingers on the keys and closed his eyes.
“Just listen.”
He pressed the keys, forte slowing into piano and back to fortissimo, trying to convey his emotions with every note and here she was, close to him again, beautiful as ever and smelling even more overwhelming than he remembered. He poured his love into every key, not daring to open his eyes and hoped, desperately hoped she understood the whirlwind and the peace she set off in him through every fortissimo and pianissimo, understood how numb he felt when she was not there. He let the piece fade out with a soft pianissimo and took a deep breath before opening his eyes again. Yet, he dared not casting a look to his side.
“Thank you and I’m sorry.” Jongdae began and took his hands from the keys, staring at them. “If you hadn’t said anything I probably wouldn’t have realized the magnitude of my idiocy and continued being insufferable.”
“You are not insufferable.” Liyin quietly said and Jongdae looked up, studying her face. A small smile tugged at her lips.
“I was.” He insisted. “How you had any patience with me is a miracle but I am glad you had. You are probably the only person that really tried to know me and understand me despite being so…so me. I shouldn’t have said the things I said and I hurt you, I am sorry.”
Liyin laughed lightly, music in Jongdae’s ears, and placed a hand on his forearm.
“You don’t need to apologize twice. I accepted the first apology already.”
“Really?” Jongdae asked and slowly pulled his arm back under her touch until his palm slid into hers and set all his nerves on alert, before finally her fingers entwined with his.
“Really.” Liyin repeated and smiled at him. He could barely breathe at the connection of their hands and the fact that she had forgiven him so easily, that she did not hate him.
“I never heard this piece.” She said casually and pressed her palm closer to his. Jongdae cleared his throat and played a few chords with his free hand to cover his embarrassment and excitement.
“Schumann composed it for his later wife Clara when he started to develop romantic feelings for her. It is called Chiara, after his term of endearment for her.”
“And you memorized and played this for me?” Liyin wondered and Jongdae nodded, brushing his thumb over the back of her hand.
“It was the composition I found the best to express what I feel without making it all about me. But if you ask me, I will play anything for you that you want to hear. Your request is my command.”
Liyin chuckled and then she grinned cheekily, a slightly mischievous spark in her eyes as she leaned closer.
“My request is your command, yes? Then, may I acquire a kiss?”
.
“Are you flying home for your birthday?” Jongdae asked into the nest of Liyin’s hair at the beginning of February. She shook her head and continued playing piano on his left ribcage.
“Are they coming here then?”
“Doesn’t seem like it. My father has a fixed contract in the assembly of the New York Philharmonic and Mom is probably somewhere in Europe on her Winter Classics soloist tour.”
“They what?” Jongdae exclaimed.
Ten minutes later he learned that his girlfriend was used to celebrating her birthday on her own, because her famously acclaimed female Chinese violinist mother and her long-time professional father were usually too busy.
“But it is your birthday and don’t they want to know how much their daughter improved within the last year?”
Liyin shrugged at him and continued the Three Bears song on his chest.
“They never forced me to pick up a violin and at first it was hard to learn, but eventually I understood the priority of performance. Everything became easier when I defined technique as tool to express emotion. My parents sent me here on my wish, because I wanted to profit from different teachers and methods.”
“So you have been a child genius?” Jongdae pushed and Liyin gave him her trademark disapproving frown. Oh-uh.
“Like you, you mean? You would think that with parents like mine, but no. I always worked hard to be better than I am, just like Henry.”
“Henry again.” Jongdae growled displeased. The jealousy would never quite subside, especially since Jongdae turned out to be worse at violin than Liyin on the piano. Far, far worse.
Liyin flicked his forehead before kissing the red mark.
“You are impossible.”
“As impossible as your chances to become concert master were?”
Liyin hit him with a pillow and rolled on top of him, settling comfortable on his hips. Dating for a couple of weeks still had him wondering how he managed to make him like her. She was incredible, she could have a guy her age, could have Henry who excelled well in two musical instruments and dancing, Jongdae grudgingly found out, but here she was. Liyin was in his room, in his bed, on top of him and she wanted nobody but him.
Truth to be told in this particular position he was a little conflicted and tempted. Her body was warm and soft when she pressed against him and they had been making out mostly, but nothing had gone underneath. His thoughts and desires acquired effort to control at times, he respected her too much.
Yet, he wanted to learn how to play her body like the keys on a piano forte, wanted to understand how soft or strong to press for a sigh or gasp and which accords to play to bring her to oblivion, study her pleasure like a piece of Schumann to unveil her beauty. He wanted to read her and discover her from the first bar of flushed cheeks to the last bar of her slowing pants. He desired to know how to make her vocals go from piano to fortissimo to forte fortissimo and a delicious fortepiano when her peak subsided to satisfying fatigue. To Jongdae she was a human masterpiece.
A masterpiece he died to play.
“What are you doing?” Liyin asked when he slid his hands over her thighs and up her stomach. He sat up slightly while covering her clothed breasts with his palms and gave her a soft kiss.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, but don’t distract, you’re being sneaky.”
Jongdae hummed and squeezed softly, the rush of air escaping her lips touching his skin.
“I’m touching you. I want to make you feel good. Let me?”
Liyin poked his stomach and laughed.
“At least you’re asking.”
“I would never-“
“Yes yes, I know Jongdae. But I’m not made of glass and I am your girlfriend.”
“That does not mean you automatically consent.” Jongdae protested and Liyin smiled before giving him a long kiss.
“You can stop being a gentleman after you helped me out of this dress, okay?”
“Okay.” Jongdae breathed excited and pulled down the zipper on the right side. Then he watched her slide the dress over her head, giving him a chance to appreciate every centimeter of revealed skin. A flush crawled over her body, from her cheeks down her chest and Jongdae leaned in, trailing kisses down her neck.
She tugged his shirt over his head, breaking the contact momentary and Jongdae latched his lips to the swell of her breasts once the barrier was out of the way. Liyin spared him the struggle with her bra and removed it on her own. He covered everything in his reach with his lips and palms, relishing in the soft sighs he pulled from Liyin’s lips.
It shot straight to his groin when she started rocking against him. A moan tore from his throat and he pushed his hips up against her. Her breath hitched and he did it again, eager to meet every grinding down with a push of his. They were pressed so close not a piece of paper could fit between them.
“I want to touch you more.” Jongdae pleaded with a suggestive caress down her stomach and Liyin nodded. They shifted awkwardly until Jongdae could lay her down and for a moment he just observed her in awe, spread out under him.
Liyin was beautiful to him, from the bow of her collarbones to the mole on her right hip and down to her small ankles. Jongdae did not know where to start, the person he simultaneously desired and respected exposed and vulnerable to him. Her trust and that she wanted him that much too made pride and appreciation wash over his body.
Slowly he lowered himself, connecting his lips with hers while his fingertips curiously explored the skin of her inner thighs, dragging closer to her core before sliding back down. He was teasing, he knew, but judging by her little twitches she enjoyed his ministrations and that was exactly what he wanted. Eventually she nudged him gently and he pressed his fingers to her crotch. Liyin gasped into his mouth and he grinned against her lips, rubbing gently while she lifted her hips into his touch.
Jongdae teased her like that for a while, busying his lips with her collarbones and her nipples before he pulled back and hooked his fingers into the hem of her underwear. Liyin stared at him, lost for a moment before she realized he asked for permission again and nodded.
Jongdae dragged the piece of fabric down and when he turned his attention back to her, she had closed her thighs shyly. He did not push, instead he placed a kiss to her left knee and further down, coaxing her legs open again. She needed to be assured it would feel good if she let him do this.
His bit his lips at the dark curls revealed to him and he licked where the hem of Liyin’s underwear had left marks on her skin. She sucked in her breath and he stared up, her cheeks flushed and glowing, but her eyes staring right back at him.
“You will have to guide me a little.” Jongdae admitted hoarsely “I am not an expert in this.”
“Okay.” Liyin whispered.
Jongdae watched her as he began to caress her, noting every spot that made her jerk her hips and he circled her clit, rubbing gently when she arched into his touch and encouraged him to keep going. He continued, picking up every hitched breath, every pant and every moan and daringly slid his fingers deeper, pressing gently. Liyin canted her hips up at him, pleasure striking her face and this time he did not wait.
A low moan chimed through the room when he sank his finger deeper into her and Liyin looked so disheveled Jongdae’s chest rumbled at the knowledge it was all his doing.
“Feeling good?” he inquired softly as he began to move and she nodded, biting down on her lower lip.
“Jongdae, could you…”
“Yes?” he replied eagerly, wanting her to continue. “What is it? What do you want me to do?”
“Could you…put your mouth…” she trailed off and it hit Jongdae that she was too shy, too embarrassed to form her desire clearly. He was not entirely sure what she wanted, but he would make a good guess.
He entwined his free hand with hers and dove between her legs. When she pushed into his face he knew he had figured right and sucked gently at her clit, her hand squeezing his tighter.
Jongdae loved her ferociously like that until she let out a hoarse scream, tremor shaking her body and went numb under him right after. He pulled away from her slowly, kissing his way back up her body and smiled. Her bliss rivaled the one he had seen when she played violin.
“That was…” she gasped at him with wide eyes. Jongdae grinned and rested his body on top of hers. He was still in his pants and he was hard, but that could wait for another time.
“I agree.” he noted and Liyin stroke his back gently, sharing a kiss with him.
“What about you?” she asked after a while and he felt her shifting under him.
“Later.” Jongdae replied and nuzzled her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. “Let me catch my breath.”
She hummed in agreement and closed her eyes. After a few minutes they both dozed off.
.
If you had told Jongdae before going to Ahn Eak-Tai that there would be something that would rule out piano as priority in his life, he would have laughed. But Ahn Eak-Tai changed him, made him appreciate his talent again, rearranged his views, his self-perception and reevaluate his goals.
Sure, he stilled aimed to become a world famous pianist, but it was no longer his mere goal. What he wanted, and maybe that was greedy, was a person by his side that understood his love for music, a person that breathed music just as he did. If he ever owed Ahn Eak-Tai something, then it was this knowledge.
Because for the first time Jongdae found something he enjoyed more than performing music on a piano and it was performing love to the beauty going by the name of Zhang Liyin.
Title: Symphony of the Heart
Pairing: Chen/Liyin
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 7.862
Summary: Jongdae enters Ahn Eak-Tai with the expectation to polish his artistic skills and stepping towards his brighter future. What he does not expect is that school has more teaching in store than you intend it to.
When Jongdae stepped through the front door of the Ahn Eak-Tai School of Arts he felt that he had taken the next big step towards a great future. After applying for the school he had been invited to audition, which he passed with only slight nervousness and now he was here: ready to polish his skills. The Ahn Eak-Tai School of Arts had famous graduates whose names were in the mouth of people all over the world and Jongdae strove to join their company. He was by no means delusional to think everyone graduating from this institution would become a name, but he was confident to end as one of the lucky.
To give their students the opportunity to focus properly on Art, the Ahn Eak-Tai School of Arts had a dormitory system and Jongdae had been informed that every freshman was assigned to rooming with an upperclassman. Jongdae directed his steps to House 4, second floor, left apartment. He had moved most of the things he needed to the place already, but had yet to meet his roommate, Cho Kyuhyun. Of course he was curious about what kind of person he was, but mainly he wanted someone who did not care about his daily piano practice and was not too much of a spoil sport.
“You must be Jongdae. Welcome to the madness.” Kyuhyun greeted Jongdae from the kitchen when he opened to door to their shared apartment. Jongdae nodded and shuffled inside.
“We need to set down some rules first, I’m sure you agree. This place must be cleaned regularly and I don’t like it too dirty so I’d like to draw up a plan for it if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, not at all.” Jongdae replied and joined him the kitchen, putting food and drinks into the fridge.
They worked out a cleaning plan very fast and Jongdae found out that Kyuhyun was a senior in the music department, the instrument of his choice the clarinet. They agreed that they did not need set practice time and could play whenever. For a second Jongdae contemplated asking to play together, but he understood Kyuhyun, as senior, had to offer first.
Gladly they hit off very well and Jongdae was confident in saying he even found something like a friend in his roommate. He caught himself only starting to practice when Kyuhyun had stopped his, because the older had a very endearing style of playing and Jongdae enjoyed listening. Sometimes they spent time gaming together and since neither of them was the type to go out, Jongdae soon learned to appreciate the wit and sarcasm of his roommate. It almost made him sad to know that the year after he would have a new person to share the apartment with.
After 3 months of school Jongdae was sure to have made the right choice in choosing to go to Ahn Eak-Tai School of Arts. He was surrounded by people like him who loved art and needed to express it. As far as the musical part of classes was concerned, Jongdae was doing just fine. He enjoyed scales analysis and musical theory. Piano classes were more relaxing than challenging and his individual lessons with his appointed teacher Shik were pleasant. He felt that his teacher understood which compositions fitted him best and gave him pieces he enjoyed practicing. He received few pointers on his speed and realized soon that he did not need much additional practice aside from his daily stint. It irked him that a few of his classmates struggled with piano class appointments.
Truth be told, the piano had always been his confidence. From the moment he was grown enough to sit on the piano stool, Jongdae’s fingers had loved to play tunes on the white and black keys. His parents had realized his abilities early on and he had received special lessons from the age of 6. At 8 he already had been on several shows and even in a drama for an episode. With age he continued loving to play, more shows were visited and he had played for the CEO of Lotte even, recently. Jongdae liked showing what he could do and it was natural to him for receive praise for his abilities.
Problems arose for Jongdae when the non-musical classes had less good results. His first tests had not exactly the best grading and when he looked at his average after the first three months, he had to admit he was in trouble. Being too focused on his piano had made all of his marks suffer and he realized with gritted teeth that he had to up his game if he wanted to graduate with proper marks in all subjects.
“Kyuhyun, I need your help.” Jongdae casually told his roommate while they watched a variety show in his room.
“How exactly?” Kyuhyun replied with his mouth full of potato chips.
“I need help with a few classes. My grades are not that great.”
“Little genius is having problems with simple functions?” Kyuhyun teased.
“Well, Math is a bit of a problem, but I also fail History and have troubles with History of Music at times.” Jongdae admitted and fetched the bag from Kyuhyun’s hands.
“Look, I can help you with Math, no big deal, but History is not my best subject either. Although, I have a junior with whom I do chamber music pieces. She is the top of her class in History.”
“Could you ask her to help me? I would pay her for it of course.”
“You know, she’s such a nice girl, she’d probably tutor you in exchange for piano lessons instead of money. She told me once that she learned it as a child but gave up again very fast. I had the feeling she has a few regrets about it.”
“That would be no problem. Will you ask her?”
“I will. But I guarantee nothing.”
That was how Zhang Liyin came into Kim Jongdae’s piano focused life.
.
“Liyin!”
It was very unusual of Kyuhyun to make a commotion whatsoever in the hallway and by the pleased tone in his voice Jongdae could make out that his roommate was honestly pleased to see their guest. It baffled Jongdae when he opened the door and got hit with a wall of Chinese, Kyuhyun and Liyin speaking quietly. He only understood basics and Kyuhyun’s fluency took him by surprise. More surprising was the young woman with the slightly husky but nonetheless smooth tone standing in the door to their kitchen. Jongdae had expected a cutesy girl in colorful skirts, but his future tutor wore a simple dark summer dress with few highlights stitched into the fabric. It looked classy and gave her a mature aura. Clearly she was older than him. To say he was merely intrigued would be a lie.
“Uhm, hi.”
He greeted Liyin and she turned to him with a shy smile.
“Hello Jongdae. Ready to start?”
Well, her Korean was not bad. Jongdae wondered how long she had been in Korea already.
“Kyuhyun told me your history marks are a mess so I prepared you a quiz to get an idea where your basics are and how we can go about with each topic. I also made one for history of music since you expressed you lack there too.” Liyin explained while they settled in his room.
Jongdae shuddered at the thought of quizzes, but they were certainly a practical way to recognize his weak points and analyze which periods were his problems. A pained look must have struck his face, because Liyin laughed lightly and glanced over to the piano.
“Don’t worry, you will just have to do one today. I suggest you just solve the questions to the first half of the topics and then we go on about you teaching me the piano. How does that sound?”
“Sounds good.” Jongdae agreed and prayed the quiz was not so hard so they could proceed to the piano lessons soon.
.
Soon her learned that Zhang Liyin was every bit beautiful than shy. Every time Jongdae leaned over to point at sentences in his history book, she pulled away. Usually Jongdae would not mind, but strangely he felt dared. He was not that bad looking and took care of his hygiene. Having Liyin shift away from him hurt his ego and so he put extra afford to smell nice when she came over each week and wore clean clothes. Kyuhyun poked fun at him for it, but Jongdae found himself not caring. She was so nice and sweet and he wanted her to feel comfortable around him. More than once he considered asking what he could do to make her feel less tense around him, but he worried she would shy further away. Instead he preached himself to have patience. Time would help them grow closer; he simply had to hold his impatience in check. Just, it was so hard when she laughed at his jokes airily or when strands of her hair slid from where she had tugged them behind her ears and covered her face while she bent slightly over his piano. She fitted right into his room and he wanted to fit right next to her in the picture.
.
“I will never learn this.” Jongdae complained and threw his pen onto the damned history book. “Why does it matter what caused the economic plight? People just revolted.”
Liyin sighed and flicked his forehead, taking him by surprise with the sudden closeness and contact of skin. Clearly she did not approve of his behavior so much that she had overcome her usual shyness.
“Ouch. Would you stop that?”
“No. I know that is does not matter to you, but it mattered to the people and was a reason why they rose against their rulers. That’s why.”
“But I still don’t understand how all those factors caused exactly that reaction.”
Liyin sighed heavily and automatically his gaze was drawn to the creamy skin of her chest as it heaved. Mentally he scolded himself, he was here to improve his marks and not add another distraction. She stood up and sat down on his piano bench, gesturing him to sit down beside her. Hesitantly he joined her, staring in surprise when she laid her fingers on the keys, their arms touching in process.
“Remember how playing certain chords create a hit song? It might be a bad comparison, but just imagine this. C major is the desire to live a carefree life. A minor is the dissipation of the nobility. D minor is the Economic misery and G major is the military showing support to seize the power.”
She looked for the keys on his piano and pressed them one by one before sloppily playing them together. Jongdae did not move one centimeter and watched her fascinated and pleased. The force she used to press the keys had improved since the previous time.
“Together they create the reaction of people overthrowing the ruler. It’s that simple, you see?”
And Jongdae saw. Or rather, he heard.
“Liyin, you are a genius.” He breathed out and stared at her with wide eyes. She blinked at him.
“Am I?”
“Absolutely. Everything makes sense now.”
He laid his hands on the keys, playing the chords while mumbling the context to himself. He faintly heard Liyin giggle at his side. She had not moved away from him.
“If associating keys and chords helps you understand history then I am almost sure your problem in the subject will be solved in no time.” She noted and grabbed her notepad, scribbling down several words.
“I will look for pieces and see to fit events of the periods into them. You can do this, Jongdae.”
She looked so excited and blissed, he immediately believed her.
Maybe it was also the fact that she pressed her thigh against his without flinching.
.
Eventually his marks improved. Jongdae was relieved and grateful towards Liyin, he did not think without her this would have been possible. Their discovery of a useful learning method for him had saved him, really and he used it for other subjects as well, realizing with the right means and motivation he could easily keep general subjects and musical subjects balanced.
“Here, this is for you.” Liyin told him when she left after helping him prepare for an upcoming test and held a card out to him. Jongdae gave her a surprised look before taking the piece of paper from her extended hand.
“You have worked hard and I want you to have a night of enjoyment, no studying and no performing yourself. The first orchestra is holding a concert night and I would be very happy if you were in the audience. I heard you play so many times; I thought it is time I give that back to you.”
“Thank you.” Jongdae replied genuinely and studied the ticket, looking for area, row and seat.
“Oh, I chose a seat where you get a clear sound from the violin.” Liyin said bashfully and Jongdae dared to nudge her gently, smiling when she nudged back.
“You are always so considerate, do you know that? Do you even have less sweet sides to you?”
“Maybe…” she said cheekily and picked up her bag from the floor. Jongdae blinked surprised. Now this was a new side to her. With an occupied mind he accompanied her to the door, serving as support when she tried to wriggle into her heels.
“I let you in on something.” Liyin said, turning around in the building’s hallway.
“I bet you look hot in a suit. Do me the favor, wear one.”
Jongdae still stared in shock when the clicking of her heels had long muted.
.
Liyin had personally invited him to her performance. Jongdae still did not quite grasp it when he waited outside the concert hall, tugging at the collar of his white shirt with the hand which was not gripping a bouquet for Liyin. Why he was nervous he did not know, at least he could tell the reason for his excitement, however. Tonight he would hear Liyin breathe her music.
Over the time of being tutor and student for each other, Jongdae had only ever played for her and with her, but never had he come into the pleasure of Liyin with her instrument, the violin. Undoubtedly she was talented for piano and Jongdae hoped he could play a duet with her someday, but it was not the same. If the violin was Liyin’s natural, then her true musical beauty would reveal when the bow met the strings.
Jongdae found his place relatively fast and it confused him a little when not one of his seat neighbors revealed to be there for Liyin. He had thought her parents to come by, or friends, but when the lights dimmed it dawned him that Liyin’s friends ultimately meant one person tonight: Kim Jongdae.
Liyin stood as the conductor entered and with a little bashfulness Jongdae realized that she was the concert master. Embarrassingly he had always assumed she was a mere student in her field without a particular role. Jongdae was entirely baffled and a little ashamed about his rude assumption. He should have asked, after all they had spent plenty of time over the last weeks.
His eyes stayed glued on Liyin and he braced himself when she rose for the violin solo. He longed to know how skilled she was to have earned her position in the orchestra.
The first note rang through the hall, setting a whole violin quartet off to play in Jongdae’s heart. Liyin looked possibly blissed as she made her violin sing a melancholic tune. It caused Jongdae both a musical boner and amplified his attraction towards his tutor. She took his breath away. Never before had he heard a musician express such sadness, the emotion raw and vibrating on every string of Jongdae’s nerves. He was enticed, thoroughly and finally. The evening was spent in wonder for him, his hearing sharpening to the sound of the violins. It was as if Liyin had known that he would want to hear the violins best once he had heard her.
Still astonished he congratulated Liyin on her performance when she finally came into the foyer after the end of the concert.
“You are absolutely incredible.” Jongdae complimented her and noted with satisfaction the rosy color rising in her cheeks when he held the flowers out to her.
“Thank you so much. Those are lovely!” Liyin exclaimed and Jongdae wanted to say so much, wanted to monologue a praise on her expression and the emotions he had felt, her superb technique and how well-deserved she was the concert master. Instead he stood in front of her and just inhaled her presence.
His tongue was tied.
“I was right.”
“Excuse me?” Jongdae asked, Liyin’s statement confusing him.
“I said that I was right. You look hot in a suit.” Liyin repeated with a broad smile and Jongdae swore it had him slightly flustered.
“Thank you. Also, thank you for the ticket, I really enjoyed myself and the seat was so well chosen, I had the perfect-“
In that moment someone stepped behind Liyin and cleared his throat, Liyin turning around immediately. The words died in Jongdae’s throat.
“Liyin, I was wondering if you wanted to come out for drinks with the rest of the orchestra, Teacher Cho has given us permission to celebrate thoroughly tonight.”
Henry Lau, out of everyone, had to interrupt them. As if he sensed that Jongdae did not approve of his sudden presence, Henry peaked around Liyin and settled his eyes on him.
“Hello Jongdae.”
“Hello Henry.”
“You guys know each other?” Liyin inquired surprised, turning half back to Jongdae.
“He’s my junior in piano.” Henry explained and Jongdae narrowed his eyes at how Henry stressed his position in their loose relationship.
“Ah, right.” Liyin nodded and tilted her head at Henry.
“Actually I wanted to go for some coffee with Jongdae and hear his thoughts about tonight.”
Something swelled in Jongdae’s chest, the fact that Liyin placed importance on his opinion making his brain run fast for analysis.
“He can come with us, I’m sure some of the girls will love partying with our school’s resident piano genius.” Henry shrugged and grinned teasingly. If eyes could throw daggers, Jongdae’s would.
“Is that okay with you?” Liyin asked him and even though Jongdae knew it was a bad idea, that he would be a stranger and probably not get to speak to Liyin all that much, he agreed.
“Fine. How do we get there?”
.
Liyin was completely unaware of it, but Jongdae and Henry had a small competition running among them since Jongdae entered Ahn Eak-Tai. Judging by how often Henry poked fun at Jongdae’s television history, one would feel inclined to think Henry felt threatened by Jongdae’s pre-school fame, but it was something different. They tended to come out on top at the monthly piano division scores, sometimes Henry on top and sometimes Jongdae.
Perhaps calling their competition small was a lie. They both strove to work as professional musician after graduation and they were each other’s biggest rival. If you asked Jongdae then Henry could relax some more, because Henry was also one of the top students in the violin division and like Liyin in the first orchestra of the school. It seemed though that this was not enough. Jongdae was at the point that Henry’s presence was a sole disturbance to him and everything about the older student got him riled up in a matter of seconds. They really had enough things to rub each other with in the wrong way.
Unfortunately Liyin now joined those things. More so, she became a main factor.
-
“Lucky you, Liyin never gave me a ticket to see the first orchestra.” Kyuhyun complained and threw a paper ball at Jongdae, missing him by mere centimeters.
“It was a reward for working hard and improving my marks.” Jongdae defended himself and threw the ball back. Kyuhyun caught it with ease.
“She tutored me before and I never got rewards.”
“Well, maybe you weren’t a very obedient student.” Jongdae suggested and dodged the flying paper. Kyuhyun shook his head and sighed. Then he grinned challenging at Jongdae.
“You got it bad for her. Whatever she says, you become a puppy called by its owner.”
Jongdae looked at his roommate and figured, whatever, he was not going to deny it.
“Yeah.”
He hit Kyuhyun right in his surprised face when he threw it back to him.
“Do something about it then.”
“I can’t. She’s my senior and I doubt she sees me as more than a friend. Who is going to tutor me if she says no?”
Kyuhyun snorted at him.
“Then be a chicken. You only get things in this world if you take the initiative.”
“Did you not just call me a puppy?” Jongdae said cheekily. “Besides, why aren’t you in the first orchestra? Your clarinet scores are astronomic.”
Kyuhyun fidgeted with his pants then sighed.
“I might have riled up Teacher Cho one time too many over the years. And I don’t want him to be accused of bias again for putting his son into the orchestra, so I stepped back after the éclat last year.”
“Wait, what?”
Kyuhyun sighed heavily and aimed the paper ball at Jongdae’s waste bin.
“There was a student who wanted into the first orchestra badly and my father told him he wasn’t ready yet. I think it was an act of revenge, because he went to his parents who then gathered other students who had been refused a place in the orchestra and complained to the board of administration. They accused him of disadvantaging students in favor of his own son. I figured they would end up asking me to pull out and offer special treatment in another way and I didn’t want that. It would have hurt my father and my own pride, so I made things easier for everyone by stepping down. They did re-auditions with an independent jury, but that student still didn’t make it. He left the school by now, thank God. Else I would probably have broken his nose at some point. At least Liyin had a chance to shine again and was chosen as concert master.”
“Wow.” Jongdae said. “That’s massive. I didn’t know he was your father or about any of that.”
“I know.”
“If it helps, I think you deserved that spot.”
“Thanks Jongdae, coming from your high standards I really appreciate it.”
Jongdae wrestled him down and they fought until he hit his nose against the piano stool.
.
“Know what’s funny?” Henry said to Jongdae during piano classes. “You’re such a snob, but I swear around Liyin you’re such a good little boy.”
“I’m sorry, are you jealous?” Jongdae bit back “I always knew you loved me, but this is straight out obsession.”
“Didn’t you know? I’m the president of Ahn Eak-Tai’s Kim Jongdae fanclub.” Henry retorted and promptly paused playing because he forgot to turn his sheet page.
“See, you make me lose my key.”
Jongdae snorted, because despite being lame that was actually funny.
“Tell my apologies to your violin for your lusting after the piano man.”
“I think she’s okay, she still gets more action than you. Does Liyin even notice you or have you not passed fetus phase yet?”
Jongdae wanted to strangle Henry so badly.
“She’s slow with realizing that someone likes her, you know.”
“And you’re telling me that why?” Jongdae finished his piece and turned to Henry curiously.
“There are guys in this school who know and like her longer than you do.”
“Yet they failed thus far, my chances are good to be honest.” Jongdae smirked challenging. Henry narrowed his eyes.
“I’m warning you, junior, don’t get in my way.”
.
Jongdae did not want it to be a challenge, a competition, but Henry’s warning fueled him. He wanted Liyin, even more so now than before.
“What is Henry to you, actually?” he pressed as he taught Liyin a piece on the piano. Since her work was mostly done they had went over to intensify Liyin’s piano lessons. She lifted her hands and gave him a curious look.
“Why?”
“I’m curious. You two seem very familiar with each other.”
“So do Kyuhyun and I and you never ask about him.” Liyin pointed out and laid her fingers on the keys again, sloppily playing the tune again.
“That’s because I know Kyuhyun.”
“I see.” Liyin said absent-mindly.
“Liyin, come on. I just want to know.”
With a sigh she stopped playing and turned to him, her thigh pressed firmly against his.
“We entered the school in the same year, we are practice partners for violin and he was the one to practically dragging me to orchestra auditions, because he told me I’m better than I think.”
“Well, you are.”
“Don’t interrupt me.” Liyin frowned at him. Jongdae immediately shut his mouth and made a zip motion above his lips.
“We both have Chinese parents and he understands a lot about the struggles I went through here with the language and prejudices a few students made me face. He is someone I can confide in. Does that answer your question?”
“Yeah.” Jongdae mumbled and thought for a moment. Not that he liked it, but he gave Henry kudos for going the friendship way and trying to win Liyin’s affections. The concept did not promise success however, so Jongdae ruled it out for himself. Yet he wondered if there were more feelings on Liyin’s side for Henry.
“Why do you want to know, really? Henry told me that you two don’t get along very well.”
“That’s an understatement.” Jongdae snorted and turned the scores. “I am his favorite teasing object. Every day he goes on joking about my fame and how stuck up I am. I understand that he feels threatened, but he goes on my nerves.”
“Hold your tongue there.” Liyin said sharply and Jongdae blinked at her. Never had she snapped at him like this.
“What?”
“Someone has to tell you this eventually and I am going to be that one, because I think coming from me you might accept it at least a little. I am not sure if you realize but you do come off as arrogant and above all of this. When was the last time you put effort into analyzing and practicing a piece? This all seems a game to you, just another school, just another boring step stone to your brilliant career as famous pianist. Can you blame other students for not liking you? I have seen Henry work hard all those years; his scores come from bleeding and suffering for the music. Your scores come from playing around and if you ever look at his technique scores, then he’s always above you. This school offers you great teachers to improve your skills and you are brilliant, no denying, but you are not polished at all yet. Carrying yourself with the air you do just creates enemies and will make you lonely.”
First Jongdae stared at her wide-eyed, and then anger rose in him. The words hit, they hurt him and if he had expected them, then from anyone but Liyin. His vision turned red.
“I am not arrogant.” He hissed and rose from the piano stool, grabbing the scores and throwing them around the room. Liyin just blinked at him.
“Not in the core, no, but you act like it and this can’t continue.”
“You say that like you know me, like you know anything I come from or like you actually care about me.”
A look crossed Liyin’s face, one that, if Jongdae was not so angry, would have made him take back his words immediately. However, he was so riled up and angry he could not stop himself. Slowly she stood up and grabbed her bag, making her way to the door.
“I think we need to stop tutor sessions. You are not willing to listen and learn.”
“I am-“
“No, stop. Don’t say anything further. If you don’t realize when people want to help you, then I can’t make you.” Liyin held a hand out to keep him at distance and marched into the hallway, quickly slipping into her shoes without asking him to step close as leaning post.
“Liyin, look, I-“
She closed the door into his face.
.
“Did somebody ever tell you that you are an idiot?”
“You did, just now.” Jongdae bit back at Kyuhyun who shook his head at him in disappointment.
“Can I repeat it?”
“Get out.”
.
It took Jongdae until the next day to chew on it. The first few hours he had dismissed every word, laughed at their ridicule and sworn not to care, but he woke up the next morning feeling nerveless and more exhausted than before sleep. He tried playing to keep himself together, but Chopin’s scores bore into the back of his brain with the nagging thought that he had, in fact, never actually analyzed the score properly. Contrary to all his classmates, his scores were barely covered in any scribbles, he usually played after a general analysis, but he did not place much importance on the deeper impact or intention of the composer.
He had been indulged in his music, but he had played mostly for himself and not for the piece. Playing the piano had been doing music for his satisfaction and he had been perfectly satisfied with his skills, also glad that everything seemed easy and he could laze through the year. But, a piece of composition was not to make the artist shine, it was his task as musician to make the piece shine. The pianist was the means, the music the result.
Liyin was right.
He was ridiculous. Yes, he had great marks in music related subjects, but all his talent was nothing if he did not love the music more than his own halo. Along the years he had lost the passion accompanying him at the start, the fascination with the notes and the music he created. It was the lost innocence of a child and he needed to gain it back. He could play around, but appreciate the music foremost and show people he loved every piece, every note, every key he pressed.
In a school where everyone loved music, he was grotesque. No one needed someone just present to distinguish himself for his own satisfaction. People did not find him arrogant, because he was talented, they found him arrogant, because he took what he had for granted.
Liyin, shy and introverted Liyin who preferred mostly solitude and peace, had been the only one daring to let him know it was time to stop. Only Liyin had been brave to show him is limits. Only Liyin cared enough for him on the long run, only Liyin had acted in his interest by not joking about his fame, but by showing him genuine honesty.
And he had hurt her.
.
“Kyu?”
“Yeah?” Kyuhyun said, putting down his clarinet. Jongdae had interrupted him in the middle of practice.
“Am I that terrible?”
Kyuhyun raised an eyebrow at him and then smiled fondly. Jongdae felt a fracture of relief at the action.
“Sometimes. I don’t mind it, because you appreciate music in the end and you care about skills. But the people in piano division find you terrible, I’m not going to hide that from you.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Jongdae replied with a sigh and ruffled his hair. “I suck, I know.”
“No you don’t. You are brilliant, but unruly. Look, I am unruly too, but I know when it’s better for me to comply. Try it, it’s not half as bad and you learn from it.”
“I’ll consider it.” Jongdae mumbled and moved to close the door again.
“Hey, wait.”
Jongdae peered back into the room. Kyuhyun held his clarinet up.
“Want to play something together?”
.
Jongdae was prepared. Everything was thoroughly organized and set up and waiting for the main person. He was waiting for Liyin.
It had been two weeks since they had fought, two weeks of her continuing to walk when their eyes met in the hallway, two weeks of rarely seeing her, let alone speaking to her. Two weeks of missing her terribly, while repenting.
One week had passed since he had swallowed his pride and asked Henry for help with technique. One week had passed since Teacher Shik had given him technically complicated pieces by his own request. He found himself enjoying the challenge and also minor improving his technique.
Almost each day of those two weeks he had practiced one piece over and over and on Thursday he had entrusted a letter to Kyuhyun who then passed it on to Liyin. And now he was waiting in his empty flat, his empty room and crossed his fingers.
He rammed his knee against the underside of the piano when he stood in hurry at the door bell ringing. With a low curse he hobbled to the door, a sigh of relief passing his lips when it revealed Liyin on the other side.
“Here I am. You wanted to talk.”
“Come in.” Jongdae gestured past him and took a step back to let her in. He walked back to his room before her and sat down on his piano stool. The room was cleaned, neat, and light flooded through it.
Liyin stood awkwardly in the middle of the room and looked at him expectantly.
“So?”
“Sit here with me.” Jongdae patted the place next to him on the piano stool. She looked at him with skepticism, but slid right into place. Jongdae laid his fingers on the keys and closed his eyes.
“Just listen.”
He pressed the keys, forte slowing into piano and back to fortissimo, trying to convey his emotions with every note and here she was, close to him again, beautiful as ever and smelling even more overwhelming than he remembered. He poured his love into every key, not daring to open his eyes and hoped, desperately hoped she understood the whirlwind and the peace she set off in him through every fortissimo and pianissimo, understood how numb he felt when she was not there. He let the piece fade out with a soft pianissimo and took a deep breath before opening his eyes again. Yet, he dared not casting a look to his side.
“Thank you and I’m sorry.” Jongdae began and took his hands from the keys, staring at them. “If you hadn’t said anything I probably wouldn’t have realized the magnitude of my idiocy and continued being insufferable.”
“You are not insufferable.” Liyin quietly said and Jongdae looked up, studying her face. A small smile tugged at her lips.
“I was.” He insisted. “How you had any patience with me is a miracle but I am glad you had. You are probably the only person that really tried to know me and understand me despite being so…so me. I shouldn’t have said the things I said and I hurt you, I am sorry.”
Liyin laughed lightly, music in Jongdae’s ears, and placed a hand on his forearm.
“You don’t need to apologize twice. I accepted the first apology already.”
“Really?” Jongdae asked and slowly pulled his arm back under her touch until his palm slid into hers and set all his nerves on alert, before finally her fingers entwined with his.
“Really.” Liyin repeated and smiled at him. He could barely breathe at the connection of their hands and the fact that she had forgiven him so easily, that she did not hate him.
“I never heard this piece.” She said casually and pressed her palm closer to his. Jongdae cleared his throat and played a few chords with his free hand to cover his embarrassment and excitement.
“Schumann composed it for his later wife Clara when he started to develop romantic feelings for her. It is called Chiara, after his term of endearment for her.”
“And you memorized and played this for me?” Liyin wondered and Jongdae nodded, brushing his thumb over the back of her hand.
“It was the composition I found the best to express what I feel without making it all about me. But if you ask me, I will play anything for you that you want to hear. Your request is my command.”
Liyin chuckled and then she grinned cheekily, a slightly mischievous spark in her eyes as she leaned closer.
“My request is your command, yes? Then, may I acquire a kiss?”
.
“Are you flying home for your birthday?” Jongdae asked into the nest of Liyin’s hair at the beginning of February. She shook her head and continued playing piano on his left ribcage.
“Are they coming here then?”
“Doesn’t seem like it. My father has a fixed contract in the assembly of the New York Philharmonic and Mom is probably somewhere in Europe on her Winter Classics soloist tour.”
“They what?” Jongdae exclaimed.
Ten minutes later he learned that his girlfriend was used to celebrating her birthday on her own, because her famously acclaimed female Chinese violinist mother and her long-time professional father were usually too busy.
“But it is your birthday and don’t they want to know how much their daughter improved within the last year?”
Liyin shrugged at him and continued the Three Bears song on his chest.
“They never forced me to pick up a violin and at first it was hard to learn, but eventually I understood the priority of performance. Everything became easier when I defined technique as tool to express emotion. My parents sent me here on my wish, because I wanted to profit from different teachers and methods.”
“So you have been a child genius?” Jongdae pushed and Liyin gave him her trademark disapproving frown. Oh-uh.
“Like you, you mean? You would think that with parents like mine, but no. I always worked hard to be better than I am, just like Henry.”
“Henry again.” Jongdae growled displeased. The jealousy would never quite subside, especially since Jongdae turned out to be worse at violin than Liyin on the piano. Far, far worse.
Liyin flicked his forehead before kissing the red mark.
“You are impossible.”
“As impossible as your chances to become concert master were?”
Liyin hit him with a pillow and rolled on top of him, settling comfortable on his hips. Dating for a couple of weeks still had him wondering how he managed to make him like her. She was incredible, she could have a guy her age, could have Henry who excelled well in two musical instruments and dancing, Jongdae grudgingly found out, but here she was. Liyin was in his room, in his bed, on top of him and she wanted nobody but him.
Truth to be told in this particular position he was a little conflicted and tempted. Her body was warm and soft when she pressed against him and they had been making out mostly, but nothing had gone underneath. His thoughts and desires acquired effort to control at times, he respected her too much.
Yet, he wanted to learn how to play her body like the keys on a piano forte, wanted to understand how soft or strong to press for a sigh or gasp and which accords to play to bring her to oblivion, study her pleasure like a piece of Schumann to unveil her beauty. He wanted to read her and discover her from the first bar of flushed cheeks to the last bar of her slowing pants. He desired to know how to make her vocals go from piano to fortissimo to forte fortissimo and a delicious fortepiano when her peak subsided to satisfying fatigue. To Jongdae she was a human masterpiece.
A masterpiece he died to play.
“What are you doing?” Liyin asked when he slid his hands over her thighs and up her stomach. He sat up slightly while covering her clothed breasts with his palms and gave her a soft kiss.
“I love you.”
“I love you too, but don’t distract, you’re being sneaky.”
Jongdae hummed and squeezed softly, the rush of air escaping her lips touching his skin.
“I’m touching you. I want to make you feel good. Let me?”
Liyin poked his stomach and laughed.
“At least you’re asking.”
“I would never-“
“Yes yes, I know Jongdae. But I’m not made of glass and I am your girlfriend.”
“That does not mean you automatically consent.” Jongdae protested and Liyin smiled before giving him a long kiss.
“You can stop being a gentleman after you helped me out of this dress, okay?”
“Okay.” Jongdae breathed excited and pulled down the zipper on the right side. Then he watched her slide the dress over her head, giving him a chance to appreciate every centimeter of revealed skin. A flush crawled over her body, from her cheeks down her chest and Jongdae leaned in, trailing kisses down her neck.
She tugged his shirt over his head, breaking the contact momentary and Jongdae latched his lips to the swell of her breasts once the barrier was out of the way. Liyin spared him the struggle with her bra and removed it on her own. He covered everything in his reach with his lips and palms, relishing in the soft sighs he pulled from Liyin’s lips.
It shot straight to his groin when she started rocking against him. A moan tore from his throat and he pushed his hips up against her. Her breath hitched and he did it again, eager to meet every grinding down with a push of his. They were pressed so close not a piece of paper could fit between them.
“I want to touch you more.” Jongdae pleaded with a suggestive caress down her stomach and Liyin nodded. They shifted awkwardly until Jongdae could lay her down and for a moment he just observed her in awe, spread out under him.
Liyin was beautiful to him, from the bow of her collarbones to the mole on her right hip and down to her small ankles. Jongdae did not know where to start, the person he simultaneously desired and respected exposed and vulnerable to him. Her trust and that she wanted him that much too made pride and appreciation wash over his body.
Slowly he lowered himself, connecting his lips with hers while his fingertips curiously explored the skin of her inner thighs, dragging closer to her core before sliding back down. He was teasing, he knew, but judging by her little twitches she enjoyed his ministrations and that was exactly what he wanted. Eventually she nudged him gently and he pressed his fingers to her crotch. Liyin gasped into his mouth and he grinned against her lips, rubbing gently while she lifted her hips into his touch.
Jongdae teased her like that for a while, busying his lips with her collarbones and her nipples before he pulled back and hooked his fingers into the hem of her underwear. Liyin stared at him, lost for a moment before she realized he asked for permission again and nodded.
Jongdae dragged the piece of fabric down and when he turned his attention back to her, she had closed her thighs shyly. He did not push, instead he placed a kiss to her left knee and further down, coaxing her legs open again. She needed to be assured it would feel good if she let him do this.
His bit his lips at the dark curls revealed to him and he licked where the hem of Liyin’s underwear had left marks on her skin. She sucked in her breath and he stared up, her cheeks flushed and glowing, but her eyes staring right back at him.
“You will have to guide me a little.” Jongdae admitted hoarsely “I am not an expert in this.”
“Okay.” Liyin whispered.
Jongdae watched her as he began to caress her, noting every spot that made her jerk her hips and he circled her clit, rubbing gently when she arched into his touch and encouraged him to keep going. He continued, picking up every hitched breath, every pant and every moan and daringly slid his fingers deeper, pressing gently. Liyin canted her hips up at him, pleasure striking her face and this time he did not wait.
A low moan chimed through the room when he sank his finger deeper into her and Liyin looked so disheveled Jongdae’s chest rumbled at the knowledge it was all his doing.
“Feeling good?” he inquired softly as he began to move and she nodded, biting down on her lower lip.
“Jongdae, could you…”
“Yes?” he replied eagerly, wanting her to continue. “What is it? What do you want me to do?”
“Could you…put your mouth…” she trailed off and it hit Jongdae that she was too shy, too embarrassed to form her desire clearly. He was not entirely sure what she wanted, but he would make a good guess.
He entwined his free hand with hers and dove between her legs. When she pushed into his face he knew he had figured right and sucked gently at her clit, her hand squeezing his tighter.
Jongdae loved her ferociously like that until she let out a hoarse scream, tremor shaking her body and went numb under him right after. He pulled away from her slowly, kissing his way back up her body and smiled. Her bliss rivaled the one he had seen when she played violin.
“That was…” she gasped at him with wide eyes. Jongdae grinned and rested his body on top of hers. He was still in his pants and he was hard, but that could wait for another time.
“I agree.” he noted and Liyin stroke his back gently, sharing a kiss with him.
“What about you?” she asked after a while and he felt her shifting under him.
“Later.” Jongdae replied and nuzzled her neck, inhaling her sweet scent. “Let me catch my breath.”
She hummed in agreement and closed her eyes. After a few minutes they both dozed off.
.
If you had told Jongdae before going to Ahn Eak-Tai that there would be something that would rule out piano as priority in his life, he would have laughed. But Ahn Eak-Tai changed him, made him appreciate his talent again, rearranged his views, his self-perception and reevaluate his goals.
Sure, he stilled aimed to become a world famous pianist, but it was no longer his mere goal. What he wanted, and maybe that was greedy, was a person by his side that understood his love for music, a person that breathed music just as he did. If he ever owed Ahn Eak-Tai something, then it was this knowledge.
Because for the first time Jongdae found something he enjoyed more than performing music on a piano and it was performing love to the beauty going by the name of Zhang Liyin.