The trip and the notebook

[chenaya]

The drive on Wednesday to Nehalem to my dad's trailer was gorgeous - gorgeous and harrowing. The trees over Hwy 26 were heavily flocked with snow - to the point where they leaned over the highway and it looked like a Christmas card - one of those ones with the glitter on it to be “snow”. It was one of the most beautiful things/drives I’ve ever

Comments

[ftemery]

I'm thinking about how we find out our parents are really people just like us, and how shocking that is, as we've only ever seen them as "mom" or "dad". IMO, what you're feeling is normal, but upsetting. I don't think you can do a thing to make him happy.It seems we can help others far or distant to us, but not those closest. I'm glad you're talking to his doctor.

WOW, what a drive that must have been.

Emery

[chenaya]

Well, you know - I've always seen them as people, just not as people who readily share their adult feelings with their "kid". I don't see it as shocking that dad had a love-life, or dated ladies or drank. I just see it as feelings he'd never share, unfortunately.

The thing I'm upset with is just how down he is and has been. How many times he writes about crying and feeling like he has nothing to live for. It hurts me for him to hurt that much, but as much as I tried to get him to move closer he never would.

Yeah, it was a real hair-raiser, that drive. A few times I lost traction and slid around pretty good which was bad - especially on the down-slope of a mountain pass. Fortunately I learned to drive in Denver many, many years ago, so even though I no longer drive a stick-shift I can downshift the truck enough to kill the forward momentum without using the brakes and causing a spin or uncontrolled slide.

I do not plan to do that again for awhile though.

[mierandra]

If he's actually lonely, even if he can't admit it, do you think that if he's not allowed to go back home and does end up needing to go into a care facility that maybe he'll actually settle in reasonably well? Sometimes people fight change even when it's good for them.

*hugs* You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers, dear. Drive careful on those roads.

[meandering]

*tighthug*

After my mom suffering with ALS, I'm not sure that I wouldn't want my mind to go before my body. Hrm.