I Don't Wanna Grow Up [10/?]
Title: I Don't Wanna Grow Up
Author: chemicalspidey
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: PG
Summary: AU Gerard is mentally incapable of looking after himself as he has the mind of a child. Frank is his best friend and carer. Gerard has no sense of right and wrong, and will literally do anything for Frank.
Disclaimer: All lies.
Warnings: Mental illness
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9
Frank awoke the next morning with the previous nights events heavy on his mind. More than anything in the world he wanted to curl back up under his quilt and forget everything that had happened. He was exhausted, taking care of Gerard was beginning to take its toll on him. The weight of the venomous things he had said had settled on him overnight and the guilt had begun to torment him.
Outside the sun was shining, brightening the usually dim streets. It bathed the litter-covered streets in light, making them seem almost beautiful. It seemed cruel that the sun would shine on a day when Frank felt his mood could not be any worse. He wanted the rest of the world to feel as miserable as he did. He rolled over, turning away from the window and the weather which seemed to be mocking him.
Gerard wasn’t lying next him.
For a moment, his heart stopped, his movements stilled and his eyes stayed fixated on the spot where Gerard should have been, as if willing him to appear. The his senses returned.
He sprung out of bed and hurried around the apartment, calling Gerard’s name, his mind going into desperate overdrive. Regret surged through him, he had known how sensitive Gerard was, he had known he was being cruel. He had listened to Gerard’s sobs until the early hours of the morning while pretending to be asleep. He had pulled away when Gerard tried to nuzzle into him. He had convinced himself that what he was doing was right, that it would help Gerard in the long run, that he had to be cruel to be kind. He had always reacted badly to stress.
And now Gerard was gone and he could no longer keep on telling himself that it was for the best.
He walked back into the bedroom with the empty hope that Gerard would be there, tucked in bed. It was hopeless, he knew, but panic did strange things to his common sense
Continuing to amble around the apartment, he repeatedly checked the same places, his voice getting more and more hysterical as he called out Gerard’s name, feeling more and more terrified every time he said it. Somehow he always ended up in the bedroom. Gerard should’ve been there, he couldn’t accept that he wasn’t.
He repeated this routine several times until could no longer deny the fact that Gerard was gone, and it terrified him. He slumped onto the couch and with shaking hands dialled Brian’s number. Brian, who had been right all along. Brian who had warned Frank not to be too harsh towards Gerard. Brian who, after speaking to him a only few times, seemed to know Gerard better than Frank did. Brian who would of taken better care of Gerard. Brian who Frank still, despite the circumstances, felt a ridiculous amount of jealousy towards.
He only had to mutter, “he’s gone,” before Brian was instructing him what to do. Call his parents, he could have tried to go back to them. He would send out the other employees to search for Gerard. To stay put, don’t doing anything stupid, he’ll be over shortly.
Call Gerard’s parents. How could he? He had resented them so much for neglecting Gerard, spoke so low of them. He was a hypocrite. He couldn’t.
***
Brian had done it for him.
“Mrs Way? I’m Brian, Frank’s friend. I’m afraid something has happened-”
A loud melodramatic cry from Gerard’s Mother as Brian explained that Gerard was missing. And then his Father, demanding to know the details, demanding that they call the police, he knew Frank was untrustworthy right from the start. All while Frank squeezed eyes shut tightly, willing it all to go way, trying to stop the tears from falling as grief finally caught up with him. Wondering when he became so weak.
They went to look for Gerard in Brian’s car then. Frank desperately trying to think where Gerard could possibly be. Gerard didn’t know the area very well. The only place Gerard had shown any interest in was the strip clubs with their tacky neon signs. They were shut in the day, lights turned off, Gerard wasn’t there.
Gerard couldn’t have gone far on foot and the neighbourhood was made up a back alleys and decrepit buildings. Frank couldn’t stop images of Gerard curled on the grimy floor of a back street somewhere awash with blood, shaking with fear as he was mercilessly attacked. There was no doubt in Frank’s mind that it would become a reality unless they found Gerard by nightfall. Though after several calls from Ray and Bob, the other employees, explaining they had searched most of the neighbourhood and still not found him, Frank’s hope was wearing very thin.
***
Gerard was cold. He knew he should of worn a jacket. When he was younger and his Mother still loved him she had never let his brother or him leave the house with out a coat.
Now he had the shivers, and it made him feel sad. He wasn’t going to go back home though, not yet anyway. He wasn’t quite sure if he knew how to get back anyway and his Spidey sense wasn’t working. He had always thought that his Mother would have loved him again had he done something to make her really happy, to make her stop being angry with him, like get her that nice dress she always said she wanted. He was determined that he wouldn’t lose his Frankie the same way, even if it meant being a little bit cold. He needed to make Frankie love him again and he knew what he was going to do.
A/N: It seems ridiculously short chapters after really long waits is becoming my thing. I'm so sorry once again. Thank you so much to anybody who still reads and comments this, I'm not sure if I would at the rate I get these updates out. Love you all so much xxx
Author: chemicalspidey
Pairing: Frank/Gerard
Rating: PG
Summary: AU Gerard is mentally incapable of looking after himself as he has the mind of a child. Frank is his best friend and carer. Gerard has no sense of right and wrong, and will literally do anything for Frank.
Disclaimer: All lies.
Warnings: Mental illness
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9
Frank awoke the next morning with the previous nights events heavy on his mind. More than anything in the world he wanted to curl back up under his quilt and forget everything that had happened. He was exhausted, taking care of Gerard was beginning to take its toll on him. The weight of the venomous things he had said had settled on him overnight and the guilt had begun to torment him.
Outside the sun was shining, brightening the usually dim streets. It bathed the litter-covered streets in light, making them seem almost beautiful. It seemed cruel that the sun would shine on a day when Frank felt his mood could not be any worse. He wanted the rest of the world to feel as miserable as he did. He rolled over, turning away from the window and the weather which seemed to be mocking him.
Gerard wasn’t lying next him.
For a moment, his heart stopped, his movements stilled and his eyes stayed fixated on the spot where Gerard should have been, as if willing him to appear. The his senses returned.
He sprung out of bed and hurried around the apartment, calling Gerard’s name, his mind going into desperate overdrive. Regret surged through him, he had known how sensitive Gerard was, he had known he was being cruel. He had listened to Gerard’s sobs until the early hours of the morning while pretending to be asleep. He had pulled away when Gerard tried to nuzzle into him. He had convinced himself that what he was doing was right, that it would help Gerard in the long run, that he had to be cruel to be kind. He had always reacted badly to stress.
And now Gerard was gone and he could no longer keep on telling himself that it was for the best.
He walked back into the bedroom with the empty hope that Gerard would be there, tucked in bed. It was hopeless, he knew, but panic did strange things to his common sense
Continuing to amble around the apartment, he repeatedly checked the same places, his voice getting more and more hysterical as he called out Gerard’s name, feeling more and more terrified every time he said it. Somehow he always ended up in the bedroom. Gerard should’ve been there, he couldn’t accept that he wasn’t.
He repeated this routine several times until could no longer deny the fact that Gerard was gone, and it terrified him. He slumped onto the couch and with shaking hands dialled Brian’s number. Brian, who had been right all along. Brian who had warned Frank not to be too harsh towards Gerard. Brian who, after speaking to him a only few times, seemed to know Gerard better than Frank did. Brian who would of taken better care of Gerard. Brian who Frank still, despite the circumstances, felt a ridiculous amount of jealousy towards.
He only had to mutter, “he’s gone,” before Brian was instructing him what to do. Call his parents, he could have tried to go back to them. He would send out the other employees to search for Gerard. To stay put, don’t doing anything stupid, he’ll be over shortly.
Call Gerard’s parents. How could he? He had resented them so much for neglecting Gerard, spoke so low of them. He was a hypocrite. He couldn’t.
***
Brian had done it for him.
“Mrs Way? I’m Brian, Frank’s friend. I’m afraid something has happened-”
A loud melodramatic cry from Gerard’s Mother as Brian explained that Gerard was missing. And then his Father, demanding to know the details, demanding that they call the police, he knew Frank was untrustworthy right from the start. All while Frank squeezed eyes shut tightly, willing it all to go way, trying to stop the tears from falling as grief finally caught up with him. Wondering when he became so weak.
They went to look for Gerard in Brian’s car then. Frank desperately trying to think where Gerard could possibly be. Gerard didn’t know the area very well. The only place Gerard had shown any interest in was the strip clubs with their tacky neon signs. They were shut in the day, lights turned off, Gerard wasn’t there.
Gerard couldn’t have gone far on foot and the neighbourhood was made up a back alleys and decrepit buildings. Frank couldn’t stop images of Gerard curled on the grimy floor of a back street somewhere awash with blood, shaking with fear as he was mercilessly attacked. There was no doubt in Frank’s mind that it would become a reality unless they found Gerard by nightfall. Though after several calls from Ray and Bob, the other employees, explaining they had searched most of the neighbourhood and still not found him, Frank’s hope was wearing very thin.
***
Gerard was cold. He knew he should of worn a jacket. When he was younger and his Mother still loved him she had never let his brother or him leave the house with out a coat.
Now he had the shivers, and it made him feel sad. He wasn’t going to go back home though, not yet anyway. He wasn’t quite sure if he knew how to get back anyway and his Spidey sense wasn’t working. He had always thought that his Mother would have loved him again had he done something to make her really happy, to make her stop being angry with him, like get her that nice dress she always said she wanted. He was determined that he wouldn’t lose his Frankie the same way, even if it meant being a little bit cold. He needed to make Frankie love him again and he knew what he was going to do.
A/N: It seems ridiculously short chapters after really long waits is becoming my thing. I'm so sorry once again. Thank you so much to anybody who still reads and comments this, I'm not sure if I would at the rate I get these updates out. Love you all so much xxx