The Future Freaks Me Out

Feb 24, 2009 22:57

I don't know what other women my age think about when they daydream about their futures. No matter where my daydreams start, they all end up coming around to The Choice. It goes like this ( Read more... )

foreign service, men, future

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Comments 12

thisispoki February 25 2009, 06:06:08 UTC
Are you saying that your choice of "perfect man" would be completely separate from your job/life goals? I don't think you'll find someone perfect for you who wouldn't be willing to travel half way around the world to be with you.

The other view to the chick-flick would be something like Romancing The Stone, where perfect man is someone met in the jungle.

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cheerfulstoic February 25 2009, 14:43:23 UTC
Yeah, I know it's unrealistic. This hypothetical was set up for maximum heart-wrenching effect, which requires some improbabilities. This is a nasty side effect of being the queen of worst-case scenarios.

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marstheinfomage February 25 2009, 15:02:41 UTC
somehow i think that "would you be willing to travel to a third-world country for me?" come up as a question long before he becomes The One :)

otherwise find a man who already lives in one, so "leave this hellhole? sure!", even if it's to a slightly different hellhole :P

in practice the career-vs-life question is much more likely to come up for you when you miss a period

Homer Simpson: "But New York is a hellhole, Marge, and you *know* how I feel about hellholes!"

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cheerfulstoic February 25 2009, 15:48:30 UTC
This is what birth control is for.

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marstheinfomage February 25 2009, 16:20:28 UTC
well yes, but i mean after you find the Perfect Man, there is a chance that he would like to see a bunch of little CheerfulStoics running around, at some point

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cheerfulstoic February 25 2009, 18:12:17 UTC
Entirely possible, but I intend to make that decision myself rather than having biology make it for me.

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magnificentme February 25 2009, 23:44:46 UTC
I offer an amendment:

"My idea of later has room for regret: a bored corporate wife filling time with some meaningless job, or a heartbroken FSO alone in Africa with her cat."... stuck in quarantine.

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nightowl13 February 26 2009, 20:01:50 UTC
This may be an unfair assessment (guys, feel free to tell me if it is) but it really bothers me that guys don't have to think about this kind of thing.

"I just got a fantastic job halfway around the globe, of course my adoring wife will relocate away from her job, friends, family and life; I don't even have to think twice about it!" or even "My lovely wife just became pregnant with our as-yet-gender-unknown offspring; what a perfect opportunity for her to be a housewife and me to in no way be forced to even consider changing my life or aspirations at all!"

Even with as much progress as has been made in the feminist movement, it's still the assumption that the woman is the one who will be forced to make The Choice and that woman should be the one to change her life to suit things if they change, not the guy.

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cheerfulstoic February 26 2009, 22:04:35 UTC
It has been that way, more or less, but I think it's starting to change. A big part of the "who gets priority" decision is about flexibility. Previously women were housewives or worked at relatively low-level, low-paying common jobs without much of a career track that could be easily replaced in another city. Especially as the college ratios start to tip in women's favor and women start getting better jobs, it will be more common to find couples where the woman is the main breadwinner and her career takes precedence. And, increasingly, you find couples where both partners have demanding high-level jobs and they do their best to even out the sacrifices.

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anonymous February 27 2009, 02:50:09 UTC
Your father said that I have the perfect job AND the perfect man! W.S.

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cheerfulstoic February 27 2009, 03:01:05 UTC
If only we could all be so lucky!

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