musebyquotes | 1.4. Teddy Pendergrass quote
1.4. "Life didn't promise to be wonderful."
- Teddy Pendergrass
Co-written with headofoncology
[Follows THIS, THIS and THIS]
“Chase? I know this is hard, but I need to know you’re understanding what I’m saying,” Wilson said quietly, leaning forward on his desk to try and draw Chase’s attention back. He suspected he lost the Aussie to his inner thoughts about three minutes ago. “Would you like a few minutes? I can get you a coffee or some water?”
Chase blinked and dragged his eyes away from the Zen garden sitting on the edge of the desk and looked back up at Wilson. “Sorry,” he mumbled and sat back in the seat.
Wilson nodded in understanding and splayed his hand across the new and yet marked file. So far, it only contained the Oncology admission form Chase had filled out and a half annotated page of clinical notes. He would be lying if he didn’t admit to being shocked to receive Chase’s phone call requesting a consult. In fact, Wilson had wrongly assumed initially that it had been for a patient of Chase’s or perhaps a friend. He had nearly choked on his coffee when the younger doctor admitted it was for himself and of course House had been hanging around in his office like a blow fly and immediately sported that ‘I don’t know who you’re talking to but I know it’s going to be interesting’ look. Wilson hadn’t alluded to his friend that it was Chase on the phone. That was the last thing Chase needed, especially after House had already tried to hijack him when he had been in the ICU. “We really do need to take these tests ASAP. Today, preferably. They’ll be able to tell us if there is a likelihood of cancer cells or if it’s just something else. But if it’s cancer, we need to act as soon as we can,” he repeated now he seemed to have Chase’s attention again.
Chase ran his fingers over his lips and shifted restlessly in the consult chair. “What tests?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you. I just haven’t had much sleep.” Actually, he felt like he wouldn’t ever sleep well again.
“Blood tests, ultrasound and CT can,” Wilson told him again, picking up the pad of pathology request forms. “Is today okay for you? Chase, maybe you would feel better at another hospital? You know all the staff here. They’re going to know you’re an Oncology patient as soon as I order these tests. Perhaps that is added stress you don’t need right now. This is a time you really need to focus on yourself, not worrying what’s going through the grapevine.”
“The grapevine’s never bothered me. The fucking lump on my ball, however, yeah… that’s worrying me. So just do whatever the fuck you need, Wilson, and the sooner the better. The quicker this is over with, the quicker the stress will stop and I can be at home with my wife and baby daughter, just like I should be,” Chase said, the anger grabbing him before he had a chance to stop it. He hesitated, closing his eyes with a small shake of his head. “I’m sorry. This is just… I’m sorry. The tests, whatever is needed, let’s just do it and get it over with. And before you tell me that the tests could only be the start, you don’t need to. I’m well fucking aware and that is stressing me. I don’t care what people say about me, alright? I just care that I might not be here to see my daughter’s first birthday.”
Wilson watched Chase, though it was empathy in his eyes, not sympathy. “You also don’t need me to tell you that testicular cancer is treatable and one of the-”
“No,” Chase cut in. “I don’t need you to tell me. I don’t need you to tell me anything until we know what we’re dealing with here. If it’s testicular cancer… if it’s just testicular cancer,” he elaborated, his eyes damp as he stared at Wilson helplessly. “You don’t need me to tell you how my father died, that fucking bastard.”
Wilson just nodded and picked up his fountain pen. Chase really didn’t need to be treated like any other Oncology patient. He was a doctor too, just like Wilson, and he did know. He didn’t need it all spelt out for him unless he asked for it. He was also a friend who had come to Wilson for some help and understanding. This wasn’t just another new Oncology admission and Wilson knew it. It hurt and it hit very close to home. “I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t have to wait too long in Radiology,” he promised and stood up with Chase’s file under his arm to go and get the process started. He gestured to the phone on his desk. “Call your wife if you need to. She’s probably waiting to hear from you.” He rounded the desk and patted Chase softly on the back before grabbing his pager and leaving Chase alone for the moment.
Chase looked at the phone but made no move to reach for it. He just dropped his gaze to his hands in his lap, catching sight of his wedding ring. He swallowed and turned the gold band around his finger anxiously, the metal slipping easily against his sweaty skin. There was something to be said in the power of suggestion because right at that moment, he felt like nothing but ill and weak.
Rogue [justalilcontact] referenced with permission
Word Count | 910
- Teddy Pendergrass
Co-written with headofoncology
[Follows THIS, THIS and THIS]
“Chase? I know this is hard, but I need to know you’re understanding what I’m saying,” Wilson said quietly, leaning forward on his desk to try and draw Chase’s attention back. He suspected he lost the Aussie to his inner thoughts about three minutes ago. “Would you like a few minutes? I can get you a coffee or some water?”
Chase blinked and dragged his eyes away from the Zen garden sitting on the edge of the desk and looked back up at Wilson. “Sorry,” he mumbled and sat back in the seat.
Wilson nodded in understanding and splayed his hand across the new and yet marked file. So far, it only contained the Oncology admission form Chase had filled out and a half annotated page of clinical notes. He would be lying if he didn’t admit to being shocked to receive Chase’s phone call requesting a consult. In fact, Wilson had wrongly assumed initially that it had been for a patient of Chase’s or perhaps a friend. He had nearly choked on his coffee when the younger doctor admitted it was for himself and of course House had been hanging around in his office like a blow fly and immediately sported that ‘I don’t know who you’re talking to but I know it’s going to be interesting’ look. Wilson hadn’t alluded to his friend that it was Chase on the phone. That was the last thing Chase needed, especially after House had already tried to hijack him when he had been in the ICU. “We really do need to take these tests ASAP. Today, preferably. They’ll be able to tell us if there is a likelihood of cancer cells or if it’s just something else. But if it’s cancer, we need to act as soon as we can,” he repeated now he seemed to have Chase’s attention again.
Chase ran his fingers over his lips and shifted restlessly in the consult chair. “What tests?” he asked. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t ignoring you. I just haven’t had much sleep.” Actually, he felt like he wouldn’t ever sleep well again.
“Blood tests, ultrasound and CT can,” Wilson told him again, picking up the pad of pathology request forms. “Is today okay for you? Chase, maybe you would feel better at another hospital? You know all the staff here. They’re going to know you’re an Oncology patient as soon as I order these tests. Perhaps that is added stress you don’t need right now. This is a time you really need to focus on yourself, not worrying what’s going through the grapevine.”
“The grapevine’s never bothered me. The fucking lump on my ball, however, yeah… that’s worrying me. So just do whatever the fuck you need, Wilson, and the sooner the better. The quicker this is over with, the quicker the stress will stop and I can be at home with my wife and baby daughter, just like I should be,” Chase said, the anger grabbing him before he had a chance to stop it. He hesitated, closing his eyes with a small shake of his head. “I’m sorry. This is just… I’m sorry. The tests, whatever is needed, let’s just do it and get it over with. And before you tell me that the tests could only be the start, you don’t need to. I’m well fucking aware and that is stressing me. I don’t care what people say about me, alright? I just care that I might not be here to see my daughter’s first birthday.”
Wilson watched Chase, though it was empathy in his eyes, not sympathy. “You also don’t need me to tell you that testicular cancer is treatable and one of the-”
“No,” Chase cut in. “I don’t need you to tell me. I don’t need you to tell me anything until we know what we’re dealing with here. If it’s testicular cancer… if it’s just testicular cancer,” he elaborated, his eyes damp as he stared at Wilson helplessly. “You don’t need me to tell you how my father died, that fucking bastard.”
Wilson just nodded and picked up his fountain pen. Chase really didn’t need to be treated like any other Oncology patient. He was a doctor too, just like Wilson, and he did know. He didn’t need it all spelt out for him unless he asked for it. He was also a friend who had come to Wilson for some help and understanding. This wasn’t just another new Oncology admission and Wilson knew it. It hurt and it hit very close to home. “I’ll do my best to make sure you don’t have to wait too long in Radiology,” he promised and stood up with Chase’s file under his arm to go and get the process started. He gestured to the phone on his desk. “Call your wife if you need to. She’s probably waiting to hear from you.” He rounded the desk and patted Chase softly on the back before grabbing his pager and leaving Chase alone for the moment.
Chase looked at the phone but made no move to reach for it. He just dropped his gaze to his hands in his lap, catching sight of his wedding ring. He swallowed and turned the gold band around his finger anxiously, the metal slipping easily against his sweaty skin. There was something to be said in the power of suggestion because right at that moment, he felt like nothing but ill and weak.
Rogue [justalilcontact] referenced with permission
Word Count | 910