muses_w_remotes: 4.8.
4.8. "The great advantage of having a reputation for being stupid: People are less suspicious of you."
| Four Weddings and a Funeral
[Co-written with justalilcontact. Final part of Chase's Bachelor Party Plot]
As Rogue followed the police officer to the cells, she tried to think of everything she'd experienced with Chase that she hadn't experienced before. She now knew what it was like to have her love reciprocated without question, she was engaged to be married, she was pregnant, but she also knew what it was like to lose a child, she'd lived with someone for several months, and she'd even been on a tropical holiday.
Now Rogue could add bailing out her fiancé after he was arrested for indecent exposure and drunk and disorderly behaviour. Remy was still at the front desk filling out all the paperwork and providing the actual bail money. Rogue had to remember to pay him back as soon as she could. $5000 wasn't something that she carried around, but apparently Remy did. She wasn't about to ask any questions, she was just grateful to him for being a real friend when she and Chase needed it.
The cop snickered to himself as he pointed at one of the cells. "You got a visitor, Doctor Dundee. Your fiancée’s here to bail you out." He glanced at Rogue from over his shoulder and smirked at her. Rogue just rolled her eyes. She wasn't quite seeing the funny side of all this yet.
Chase was sitting on the edge unstable jail cot with his aching, throbbing head in his hands. The scratchy grey blanket was wrapped around his waist and the too-small police department t-shirt was creased and hitched up a little near his hip, but he hadn't really noticed that. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot, hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions from when it had apparently been in pigtails, but he couldn't remember that either.
His fiancée? Fuck. Just fuck.
He wasn't sure he could lift his head without vomiting. He wasn't sure he wanted to for fear of what Rogue might do or say. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd been this hung over. Everything hurt and now a shamed guilt surged through him, even though he had no clue why he was supposed to be ashamed. But he also didn't think staying in that slumped position was going to do him any good either. He swallowed to wet his dry throat and then lifted his head to look at her. Saying something would've been a good start, but he seemed to have left his brain and voice wherever he'd left his clothes.
Rogue stepped up to the cell and gripped the bars with her bare hands. She'd forgotten to grab a pair of gloves when she'd rushed to get dressed. She desperately wanted to be by the Doc's side, have some physical contact to assure herself he was okay.
"Oh, sugar..." she murmured as her brown eyes looked him over.”You look like shit."
"You don't like?" Chase asked hoarsely, blinking to try and focus on her. The booze was still raging through his system and he couldn't help but wonder what he'd been drinking... or taking/smoking/sniffing. "I was going for the petty crim look. Apparently I nailed it."
It was impossible for her to be angry with him. Any chastising she might have launched into disappeared the moment she saw how pathetic he looked. How he was already feeling was no doubt punishment enough. "The grey blanket's an interestin' choice. Practicin' for when you're wearin' that kilt?"
Chase looked down and then stopped with a pained grunt as his head spun from the small movement. He squeezed his eyes shut while the dizziness somewhat passed and then tentatively opened them again, his movements almost like someone had hit a slow motion button on him. "Wearing it authentically, too. Lachlan would be proud," he mumbled. "Holy... fuck..." he cursed.
"What happened to ya, Doc?" Rogue asked softly. She turned her head to see where the cop was, ready to start begging him to open the cell for her. She wanted to take care of her fiancé. She also wanted to dunk his head in cold water to see if maybe it would liven him up a bit. "I thought you were supposed to be havin' fun, not gettin' arrested. Though I guess for some people the two ain't mutually exclusive."
Chase only just realised the cop was standing there then. His eyes lingered on the man for a moment and then turned back to Rogue. "I don't remember any of it," he said slowly. "So, I made it to the party, yeah? At least that's something. Do you know if I had a good time?"
The cop snorted and then sniggered. "You didn't get here for riding a Merry-Go-Round, bud. We were taking bets on whether your missus would actually show up to bail you out."
Rogue's lip curled back as she regarded the cop. "Why wouldn't I show up, officer? It's gonna take more than indecent exposure and drunk and disorderly behaviour to make me forget about him."
She looked back at Chase and sighed. "You made it, and I think you were havin' a pretty good time up until you apparently left the party. I ain't sure what happened then. I could only get Lachlan's voicemail, and Remy left the party when he knew you were gone."
The cop twirled his keys as he regarded Rogue for a moment. He snorted again and then shook his head as he unlocked the cell to let her in. "You hang on to this one, buddy," he advised. "I've seen chicks take blokes like you for everything in situations like yours. Not many can get their cock out for the whole world and still hang on to his woman."
Chase looked at the cop but didn't say anything. What he really wanted to do was thump the arsehole for referring to Rogue as one, a chick, and two 'his woman'. Fucking disrespectful bastard. The only reaction that came was a slight tightening of Chase's lips as he swallowed in disgust. "Remy. I want to smack him and hug him all at the same time," he admitted tiredly.
Rogue had half a mind to smack the officer herself, but she had no wish to wind up in one of the other cells and be held for assaulting a cop. She rushed in to Chase's cell, and as she sat down beside him she flashed the cop her sweetest smile, chock full of Southern charm. Best to keep him on their side.
She combed her fingers through the Doc's hair and tried to smooth the unruly locks. "Yeah, he gets that reaction a lot from people. I don't think he'd really take offense." She leaned in to brush a kiss to his temple. "What am I gonna do with ya, Doc?"
"Put me down?" Chase suggested as he carefully touched his temple. It pounded just at the soft pressure. "Why don't you want to shout at me or something? I expected shouting, maybe even a slap or two. I'd deserve it, you know. I don't exactly know why I'd deserve it, but my location right now pretty much dictates that."
Rogue's lips twisted into a wry smile. "You probably ain't seen a mirror yet, but trust me when I say you look like you're sufferin' enough. I don't need to yell at ya when I don't even know what you've done 'sides flash a cop car. Why would I yell at ya about that? Everyone does somethin' crazy once in a while. See, if you were in here for murderin' someone, or for doin' somethin' really, really stupid then I'd yell at ya."
"Ironically? This is the second time in my life I've landed in a jail cell for flashing a cop car," Chase said with a faint laugh. "Kind of goes beyond stupid. This time, I'm never drinking again. I really mean it this time."
He rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm sorry. How could you want to marry such a dickhead?"
She stroked her hand down his back and her eyes softened at his question. "Where's the fun in marryin' someone borin' and safe? I only want one person, sugar. You."
Chase looked at her in awe and then gave his head a small shake. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't deserve you, but I'm glad I've winged it somehow. I love you. You know that, right? I'll never stop."
"Oh, I know," she whispered with a grin. "You're stuck with me for good, Doc. Once that ring's on my finger, I ain't ever lettin' go." She glanced over at the cop to see if he was paying attention before she leaned in close so only Chase could hear her. "And just between you and me, once that ring is on your finger, your cock's never allowed to be seen by another police officer ever again."
Chase winced and then gave her a small, sheepish smile. "I'm allowed to get arrested, just not for flashing my assets?" He exhaled again. "The whole sympathetic pregnancy thing? It has absolutely nothing on how I feel right now."
"Yeah, you can get arrested," Rogue giggled. "Just not for flashin'! I'm the only one you'll be able to flash after next weekend." She pressed a kiss to his shoulder, and nodded. "I can imagine. You really do look like shit, Doc. I ain't ever seen you this bad."
Chase closed his eyes to try and analyse exactly how he was feeling. All he could tap into was 'PAIN!' and 'SICK!' He made sure the cop wasn't listening, which he wasn't, probably hopeful Rogue wouldn't start snogging her beloved fiancé or something. "I think I took something. I feel half high, but not in a good way. Kind of like I've had a bad hit." He screwed his nose up and groaned. "Oh god, House was there..."
Rogue's face darkened, and she frowned. "House? HOUSE?"
Chase pushed his fingers into the edge of his hair with a small pained moan at the increase in her tone. "Maybe he didn't show up? I just remember Lachlan saying he was coming... shit..."
"Can you yell in a whisper?" he asked meekly.
"Sorry, sugar," Rogue replied automatically. Her tone said she was anything but apologetic though. She was going to murder that cripple. No one would miss him, right? She didn't care if he'd managed to save Lachlan's life, or whatever it was Chase had told her. The Doc's ex-boss was a dead man. "He'll be lucky if he ever breathes again."
Chase just made a small muffled noise of agreement from behind his hand. "Can we go home now?" he asked. "That is, if you still want to marry someone with a criminal record."
Rogue looked at him. "You're marryin' someone with killer skin. I think I can handle marryin' someone with a criminal record." She glanced up the corridor, and saw Remy waiting for them. It had to have meant he was done organising the bail.
Her gaze flicked to the cop, and she raised her eyebrows. He just waved his hand and gave her a wink. Rogue huffed out a breath and once again used all her strength not to smack him around.
She stood up, and placed her hand on Chase's shoulder. She was still unsure of her control while she was pregnant, and didn't dare risk taking his hand in hers. "Come on then, Hamburglar."
Chase snorted softly, a laugh coming out somewhere behind it. "I'm never having another Bachelor party again. Ever. That means you're stuck with me forever." He managed to get to his feet, but stumbled, almost dropping the blanket and going toppling to the floor. It took a few long moments to get his bearings. "And I claim the toilet for all of tonight," he added, shooting her small smirk.
- dontdotricks & drcampbell referenced with permission. Not binding on any House muses.
Words | 1,974
| Four Weddings and a Funeral
[Co-written with justalilcontact. Final part of Chase's Bachelor Party Plot]
As Rogue followed the police officer to the cells, she tried to think of everything she'd experienced with Chase that she hadn't experienced before. She now knew what it was like to have her love reciprocated without question, she was engaged to be married, she was pregnant, but she also knew what it was like to lose a child, she'd lived with someone for several months, and she'd even been on a tropical holiday.
Now Rogue could add bailing out her fiancé after he was arrested for indecent exposure and drunk and disorderly behaviour. Remy was still at the front desk filling out all the paperwork and providing the actual bail money. Rogue had to remember to pay him back as soon as she could. $5000 wasn't something that she carried around, but apparently Remy did. She wasn't about to ask any questions, she was just grateful to him for being a real friend when she and Chase needed it.
The cop snickered to himself as he pointed at one of the cells. "You got a visitor, Doctor Dundee. Your fiancée’s here to bail you out." He glanced at Rogue from over his shoulder and smirked at her. Rogue just rolled her eyes. She wasn't quite seeing the funny side of all this yet.
Chase was sitting on the edge unstable jail cot with his aching, throbbing head in his hands. The scratchy grey blanket was wrapped around his waist and the too-small police department t-shirt was creased and hitched up a little near his hip, but he hadn't really noticed that. His eyes were swollen and bloodshot, hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions from when it had apparently been in pigtails, but he couldn't remember that either.
His fiancée? Fuck. Just fuck.
He wasn't sure he could lift his head without vomiting. He wasn't sure he wanted to for fear of what Rogue might do or say. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd been this hung over. Everything hurt and now a shamed guilt surged through him, even though he had no clue why he was supposed to be ashamed. But he also didn't think staying in that slumped position was going to do him any good either. He swallowed to wet his dry throat and then lifted his head to look at her. Saying something would've been a good start, but he seemed to have left his brain and voice wherever he'd left his clothes.
Rogue stepped up to the cell and gripped the bars with her bare hands. She'd forgotten to grab a pair of gloves when she'd rushed to get dressed. She desperately wanted to be by the Doc's side, have some physical contact to assure herself he was okay.
"Oh, sugar..." she murmured as her brown eyes looked him over.”You look like shit."
"You don't like?" Chase asked hoarsely, blinking to try and focus on her. The booze was still raging through his system and he couldn't help but wonder what he'd been drinking... or taking/smoking/sniffing. "I was going for the petty crim look. Apparently I nailed it."
It was impossible for her to be angry with him. Any chastising she might have launched into disappeared the moment she saw how pathetic he looked. How he was already feeling was no doubt punishment enough. "The grey blanket's an interestin' choice. Practicin' for when you're wearin' that kilt?"
Chase looked down and then stopped with a pained grunt as his head spun from the small movement. He squeezed his eyes shut while the dizziness somewhat passed and then tentatively opened them again, his movements almost like someone had hit a slow motion button on him. "Wearing it authentically, too. Lachlan would be proud," he mumbled. "Holy... fuck..." he cursed.
"What happened to ya, Doc?" Rogue asked softly. She turned her head to see where the cop was, ready to start begging him to open the cell for her. She wanted to take care of her fiancé. She also wanted to dunk his head in cold water to see if maybe it would liven him up a bit. "I thought you were supposed to be havin' fun, not gettin' arrested. Though I guess for some people the two ain't mutually exclusive."
Chase only just realised the cop was standing there then. His eyes lingered on the man for a moment and then turned back to Rogue. "I don't remember any of it," he said slowly. "So, I made it to the party, yeah? At least that's something. Do you know if I had a good time?"
The cop snorted and then sniggered. "You didn't get here for riding a Merry-Go-Round, bud. We were taking bets on whether your missus would actually show up to bail you out."
Rogue's lip curled back as she regarded the cop. "Why wouldn't I show up, officer? It's gonna take more than indecent exposure and drunk and disorderly behaviour to make me forget about him."
She looked back at Chase and sighed. "You made it, and I think you were havin' a pretty good time up until you apparently left the party. I ain't sure what happened then. I could only get Lachlan's voicemail, and Remy left the party when he knew you were gone."
The cop twirled his keys as he regarded Rogue for a moment. He snorted again and then shook his head as he unlocked the cell to let her in. "You hang on to this one, buddy," he advised. "I've seen chicks take blokes like you for everything in situations like yours. Not many can get their cock out for the whole world and still hang on to his woman."
Chase looked at the cop but didn't say anything. What he really wanted to do was thump the arsehole for referring to Rogue as one, a chick, and two 'his woman'. Fucking disrespectful bastard. The only reaction that came was a slight tightening of Chase's lips as he swallowed in disgust. "Remy. I want to smack him and hug him all at the same time," he admitted tiredly.
Rogue had half a mind to smack the officer herself, but she had no wish to wind up in one of the other cells and be held for assaulting a cop. She rushed in to Chase's cell, and as she sat down beside him she flashed the cop her sweetest smile, chock full of Southern charm. Best to keep him on their side.
She combed her fingers through the Doc's hair and tried to smooth the unruly locks. "Yeah, he gets that reaction a lot from people. I don't think he'd really take offense." She leaned in to brush a kiss to his temple. "What am I gonna do with ya, Doc?"
"Put me down?" Chase suggested as he carefully touched his temple. It pounded just at the soft pressure. "Why don't you want to shout at me or something? I expected shouting, maybe even a slap or two. I'd deserve it, you know. I don't exactly know why I'd deserve it, but my location right now pretty much dictates that."
Rogue's lips twisted into a wry smile. "You probably ain't seen a mirror yet, but trust me when I say you look like you're sufferin' enough. I don't need to yell at ya when I don't even know what you've done 'sides flash a cop car. Why would I yell at ya about that? Everyone does somethin' crazy once in a while. See, if you were in here for murderin' someone, or for doin' somethin' really, really stupid then I'd yell at ya."
"Ironically? This is the second time in my life I've landed in a jail cell for flashing a cop car," Chase said with a faint laugh. "Kind of goes beyond stupid. This time, I'm never drinking again. I really mean it this time."
He rubbed his hands over his face. "I'm sorry. How could you want to marry such a dickhead?"
She stroked her hand down his back and her eyes softened at his question. "Where's the fun in marryin' someone borin' and safe? I only want one person, sugar. You."
Chase looked at her in awe and then gave his head a small shake. "I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't deserve you, but I'm glad I've winged it somehow. I love you. You know that, right? I'll never stop."
"Oh, I know," she whispered with a grin. "You're stuck with me for good, Doc. Once that ring's on my finger, I ain't ever lettin' go." She glanced over at the cop to see if he was paying attention before she leaned in close so only Chase could hear her. "And just between you and me, once that ring is on your finger, your cock's never allowed to be seen by another police officer ever again."
Chase winced and then gave her a small, sheepish smile. "I'm allowed to get arrested, just not for flashing my assets?" He exhaled again. "The whole sympathetic pregnancy thing? It has absolutely nothing on how I feel right now."
"Yeah, you can get arrested," Rogue giggled. "Just not for flashin'! I'm the only one you'll be able to flash after next weekend." She pressed a kiss to his shoulder, and nodded. "I can imagine. You really do look like shit, Doc. I ain't ever seen you this bad."
Chase closed his eyes to try and analyse exactly how he was feeling. All he could tap into was 'PAIN!' and 'SICK!' He made sure the cop wasn't listening, which he wasn't, probably hopeful Rogue wouldn't start snogging her beloved fiancé or something. "I think I took something. I feel half high, but not in a good way. Kind of like I've had a bad hit." He screwed his nose up and groaned. "Oh god, House was there..."
Rogue's face darkened, and she frowned. "House? HOUSE?"
Chase pushed his fingers into the edge of his hair with a small pained moan at the increase in her tone. "Maybe he didn't show up? I just remember Lachlan saying he was coming... shit..."
"Can you yell in a whisper?" he asked meekly.
"Sorry, sugar," Rogue replied automatically. Her tone said she was anything but apologetic though. She was going to murder that cripple. No one would miss him, right? She didn't care if he'd managed to save Lachlan's life, or whatever it was Chase had told her. The Doc's ex-boss was a dead man. "He'll be lucky if he ever breathes again."
Chase just made a small muffled noise of agreement from behind his hand. "Can we go home now?" he asked. "That is, if you still want to marry someone with a criminal record."
Rogue looked at him. "You're marryin' someone with killer skin. I think I can handle marryin' someone with a criminal record." She glanced up the corridor, and saw Remy waiting for them. It had to have meant he was done organising the bail.
Her gaze flicked to the cop, and she raised her eyebrows. He just waved his hand and gave her a wink. Rogue huffed out a breath and once again used all her strength not to smack him around.
She stood up, and placed her hand on Chase's shoulder. She was still unsure of her control while she was pregnant, and didn't dare risk taking his hand in hers. "Come on then, Hamburglar."
Chase snorted softly, a laugh coming out somewhere behind it. "I'm never having another Bachelor party again. Ever. That means you're stuck with me forever." He managed to get to his feet, but stumbled, almost dropping the blanket and going toppling to the floor. It took a few long moments to get his bearings. "And I claim the toilet for all of tonight," he added, shooting her small smirk.
- dontdotricks & drcampbell referenced with permission. Not binding on any House muses.
Words | 1,974