[merlin] of dreams and lies - uther/morgana || plus: new layout ♥
I changed the layout, well, not the layout actually, just messed up a bit with it and changed the header ♥ which means the tag list link is now up there cause there's no sidebar anymore. quote in the header refers to Helga Hufflepuff's chocolat card and quotes in top bar are from Merlin (excalibur and gwen). charmingways just needed a new look. I may be posting icons soons, I'm working slowly as I have too many presents to make for xmas.
Anyway, sometimes I *pretend* I can write in English... so... this came out. Hopefully it will be worthy enough not to make me embarrased. lol. Also, I fail at writing summaries. Just in case... you'll find it after the spanish part, you still have time to run LOL.
**
((Cambié el layout! Bueno, solo el header y jugueteé (¿) un poco con los codes ♥ Necesitaba un cambio, así que: charmingways ♥ Ah, tengo muchas cositas para hacer para navidad. Trataré de postear algo antes de todas formas <3.))
**
Fandom: Merlin
Characters: Uther/Morgana. If you squint you might find sth else, but blink and you'll miss them.
Title: Of dreams and lies.
Rating: PG13
Warnings: pretentious writing? lol Spoilers from episodes 7&8.
Word Count: 829 words
Summary: She waits for the potions to have an effect on her. She prays for a sleep without dreams. Goes along the times of The gates of Avalon until past The beggining of the end.
Notes: Thanks to eviinsanemonkey for beta-ing it. ♥
She squints to the grounds of the castle, looking for any sign of Arthur or the gorgeous girl that will kill him. She knows; she is sure of it. What she can’t decide is which she is more afraid of, Arthur dying or her being aware of it. As memories of her last talk with Uther come to her mind, she decides it is none of the above what scares her the most.
*
She enters Arthur’s chambers as if they were her own. He is sitting at the edge of his bed, he tilts his head when he hears her, then drops it back into his hands with an ‘oh, it’s you’ that she can barely hear.
“Oh, it’s me,” she answers back.
She walks in silence to the window, her eyes staring, unfocused, at the sky. She can hear him, slowly speaking, waiting for her laughs, her mocking. She doesn’t have any. She just watches time go by.
With Arthur safe, there’s one less thing to worry about.
*
She waits for the potions to have an effect on her. She prays for a sleep without dreams. She believes in Gaius, she always has, and yet, she finds herself trembling in doubt, in fear. She can only expect the worst.
*
She walks to Uther the next day. Vivid dreams, scenes of fighting and war dancing in her head. She can feel the tiredness in her eyes. Uther can see it as well. He doesn’t say a word and invites her to sit at the table.
They eat in silence. She can feel his eyes on her every time she is not watching. Wondering, worrying, arguing with himself. She doesn’t say anything either.
There’s nothing she could actually tell him anyway.
*
Even though she hides in her room the next days, she isn’t able to avoid reality. Dreams won’t go, fears won’t disappear, and she isn’t alone. Gwen stares at her, worry in her eyes, careful touches in her manners. ‘You’ll be fine’ she whispers.
She wants to argue, but there’s that lingering smile on the maid lips that she doesn’t want erased. Not by her hand, not by her nightmares.
*
Arthur is extremely understanding. Sometimes it scares her, knowing how much he can affect her, with his ways, with his words. She will not say so aloud, though. He watches her as she slowly walks away from her routines. She eats alone, walks alone, talks less. He doesn’t question her.
He knows, even if he isn’t aware of it. She just wishes it was the nightmares he knew about.
*
She avoids Uther for days, weeks, and then she finally sits at the table with him again. He questions her about her health, she promises she and Gaius are taking care of it. He trusts Gaius, too, more than she will ever acknowledge.
When he says he’s worried, her heart stops. And, though at first she cannot look at him, when blue eyes find the green, she can see the concern behind the statement. She smiles and promises again that it is nothing and that she will visit Gaius again this afternoon.
What she doesn’t say is that there’s no other reason but him for her to keep trying to erase something she can’t help. Lies will always be on her lips as long as she fears the outcome.
Unthinkable scenarios fill her mind. She doesn’t say another word until she is done. She leaves the place with whispered goodbyes.
*
She breaks a little every time she sees him, every time she dreams. She breaks a little more every time she simply thinks about it.
He will never care enough. It only takes a little boy to show her that much.
*
She remembers those days as faint memories in her head, as a veil that came across her life. She remembers the fear, the hate, the pain, and the unstoppable frustration.
She remembers Merlin and the hope in his eyes, she remembers Arthur and his loyalty to what it is right, she remembers Gwen with her cautionary words and her worried looks, and she remembers the boy; so like her, so lost.
And yet, she tries to forget what she can feel the most, the burning touch in her neck as Uther pushed her away, the glaring eyes shouting betrayal, the disappointment, the fury, the bumping fear in his eyes, in his voice.
All she can really remember, as a black slash of pain, is his face rejecting her.
*
She faces him one night. Her gown on, the castle asleep. She crawls to his side and waits for him to open his eyes. She whispers ‘I’m sorry’, though she doesn’t mean it and she gets a fragile smile as a reward. She feels like five again and yet, had never felt so grown up.
Lies forgotten, hands forever tied.
All she can ask is to spend this night in his arms.
Anyway, sometimes I *pretend* I can write in English... so... this came out. Hopefully it will be worthy enough not to make me embarrased. lol. Also, I fail at writing summaries. Just in case... you'll find it after the spanish part, you still have time to run LOL.
**
((Cambié el layout! Bueno, solo el header y jugueteé (¿) un poco con los codes ♥ Necesitaba un cambio, así que: charmingways ♥ Ah, tengo muchas cositas para hacer para navidad. Trataré de postear algo antes de todas formas <3.))
**
Fandom: Merlin
Characters: Uther/Morgana. If you squint you might find sth else, but blink and you'll miss them.
Title: Of dreams and lies.
Rating: PG13
Warnings: pretentious writing? lol Spoilers from episodes 7&8.
Word Count: 829 words
Summary: She waits for the potions to have an effect on her. She prays for a sleep without dreams. Goes along the times of The gates of Avalon until past The beggining of the end.
Notes: Thanks to eviinsanemonkey for beta-ing it. ♥
She squints to the grounds of the castle, looking for any sign of Arthur or the gorgeous girl that will kill him. She knows; she is sure of it. What she can’t decide is which she is more afraid of, Arthur dying or her being aware of it. As memories of her last talk with Uther come to her mind, she decides it is none of the above what scares her the most.
*
She enters Arthur’s chambers as if they were her own. He is sitting at the edge of his bed, he tilts his head when he hears her, then drops it back into his hands with an ‘oh, it’s you’ that she can barely hear.
“Oh, it’s me,” she answers back.
She walks in silence to the window, her eyes staring, unfocused, at the sky. She can hear him, slowly speaking, waiting for her laughs, her mocking. She doesn’t have any. She just watches time go by.
With Arthur safe, there’s one less thing to worry about.
*
She waits for the potions to have an effect on her. She prays for a sleep without dreams. She believes in Gaius, she always has, and yet, she finds herself trembling in doubt, in fear. She can only expect the worst.
*
She walks to Uther the next day. Vivid dreams, scenes of fighting and war dancing in her head. She can feel the tiredness in her eyes. Uther can see it as well. He doesn’t say a word and invites her to sit at the table.
They eat in silence. She can feel his eyes on her every time she is not watching. Wondering, worrying, arguing with himself. She doesn’t say anything either.
There’s nothing she could actually tell him anyway.
*
Even though she hides in her room the next days, she isn’t able to avoid reality. Dreams won’t go, fears won’t disappear, and she isn’t alone. Gwen stares at her, worry in her eyes, careful touches in her manners. ‘You’ll be fine’ she whispers.
She wants to argue, but there’s that lingering smile on the maid lips that she doesn’t want erased. Not by her hand, not by her nightmares.
*
Arthur is extremely understanding. Sometimes it scares her, knowing how much he can affect her, with his ways, with his words. She will not say so aloud, though. He watches her as she slowly walks away from her routines. She eats alone, walks alone, talks less. He doesn’t question her.
He knows, even if he isn’t aware of it. She just wishes it was the nightmares he knew about.
*
She avoids Uther for days, weeks, and then she finally sits at the table with him again. He questions her about her health, she promises she and Gaius are taking care of it. He trusts Gaius, too, more than she will ever acknowledge.
When he says he’s worried, her heart stops. And, though at first she cannot look at him, when blue eyes find the green, she can see the concern behind the statement. She smiles and promises again that it is nothing and that she will visit Gaius again this afternoon.
What she doesn’t say is that there’s no other reason but him for her to keep trying to erase something she can’t help. Lies will always be on her lips as long as she fears the outcome.
Unthinkable scenarios fill her mind. She doesn’t say another word until she is done. She leaves the place with whispered goodbyes.
*
She breaks a little every time she sees him, every time she dreams. She breaks a little more every time she simply thinks about it.
He will never care enough. It only takes a little boy to show her that much.
*
She remembers those days as faint memories in her head, as a veil that came across her life. She remembers the fear, the hate, the pain, and the unstoppable frustration.
She remembers Merlin and the hope in his eyes, she remembers Arthur and his loyalty to what it is right, she remembers Gwen with her cautionary words and her worried looks, and she remembers the boy; so like her, so lost.
And yet, she tries to forget what she can feel the most, the burning touch in her neck as Uther pushed her away, the glaring eyes shouting betrayal, the disappointment, the fury, the bumping fear in his eyes, in his voice.
All she can really remember, as a black slash of pain, is his face rejecting her.
*
She faces him one night. Her gown on, the castle asleep. She crawls to his side and waits for him to open his eyes. She whispers ‘I’m sorry’, though she doesn’t mean it and she gets a fragile smile as a reward. She feels like five again and yet, had never felt so grown up.
Lies forgotten, hands forever tied.
All she can ask is to spend this night in his arms.