The 'In or Out Game' in Fandom (and at LiveJournal)

[charliemc]

I'm fascinated by what I tend to think of as the 'In or Out Game.' This is something I so often see taking place in various fandoms -- as well as right here at LiveJournal...

So what motivates it? (And what precisely is it?)

Let's take the imaginary case of Jane Doesmore, shall we?

Comments

[anonymous]

Here via metafandom.
Thank you for that reflection :)
I think that most of the time, the Jane you talk about are a little more sensitive than the others, so it's not necessarily a way of saying they want someone stroking their ego, it's just they take everything personnaly. Also, they see everything big, so being less involved in a fandom must be, in some way "wrong" for them... They need to be entirely involved, that's how they work.
At least, that's what I think ;-)

[bluecove]

Here via metafandom

Good post. You're so right about many people who "announce" they're leaving when what they really want is someone (or a lot of someones) to ask them not to.

Oh, and I remember Kukla, Fran and Ollie! Kukla was a clown puppet, Ollie was dragon puppet, and Fran was a human. Good thing you didn't pair her with anyone! ;)

[mistressmarilyn]

Very thoughtful post. I wish more people could learn the balance you describe, and learn they can be fans all their lives. Many of the Janes are young and just learning to mix fandom with careers, love lives and even families. This is a phenomenon we in non-profits encounter in trying to recruit volunteers in the early-to-mid-20s.

When the Janes get a little older and desire more creative outlets, they'll hopefully come back to fandom (instead of putting it away as one of those "childish things"). And maybe then they'll have discovered some balance (and some appreciation for the 'older' fen who have integrated their passionate fandoms with their busy, successful lives.

I find your sympathy refreshing (and touching)!

Here via metafandom.

[kittykmae]

Mmm, I think I have to disagree with some of the things you've said

My reply to Jane (and I know her well!)

[fatjoey]

Dear Jane:

Don't make promises you can't keep. If you want to get out of your fandom, do it and stop your whining. There is always someone to take your place (unless you've managed to drive everyone else away, like the overbearing church volunteer who just has to chair every bake sale).

And, uh, here's what you're begging for in your many irritating posts about leaving fandom and deleting your journal: Thank you, Jane, so much for your invaluable contributions to fandom. In your short life, you've certainly managed to make a difference in many people's lives. And no doubt many people will miss you.

Or at least some.

(Well, one or two who aren't sockpuppets you created yourself to fawn over you.)

One last note: Goodbye and good riddance.

FatJoey

Joey, Joey, Joey...

[charliemc]

You're so bad, you're good.

I understand where you're coming from, of course.

The particular 'Jane' you're speaking of? The strange thing is that I think she could easily have ended up a really close friend. I always think it's interesting that she has so many of the same interests all of us do, for example. And she's passionate about things. (She reminds me a lot of Debbie, from way, way back...)

Anyway, I love you for your own passion, Joey. You're the best!