Because I Want/Wanted To (part one)
Title: Because I Want/Wanted To (Part 1 of ?) (Story 3 of 7)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Changmin/ Eun Sun (orginal character)
Summery: "Could I call you mine and could you call me yours?"....It's Valentine's Day, so now Kim Changmin has 24 hours to win the heart of the girl he loves. Will he succeed?
A/N: HI, I believe it's my first time posting here ^^.Like stated up above this is the third story of a series I am writing. So while your reading, if you get confused or curious about some of the things Changmin refers to, like why his last name is 'Kim', then feel free to read the first two stories... or just ask me. Enjoy.
For those who are already familiar with the seriers.... I'm happy to see you and ENJOY!
Story one found here (It's Yoosu)
Story two found here (It's Jaeho)
I woke up in a way that I have never woken up before, I woke up feeling nervous.
Today was the day. Today was the day I have been waiting for since... last year. Last year, Bae Eun Sun had a boyfriend, and it was on Valentine’s Day that he had chosen to break up with her.
*memory*
“I’m so sorry, Eun Sun, and to have this happen on today of all days.” I said to her while rubbing her back. We were sitting on one of the benches in front of the school.
“I guess it was bound to happen, things haven’t been going so well between us lately, and as for today...”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I just hope that someday, someone can make my Valentine’s Day one I can be happy to remember.”
“I hope so too.” She smiled for the first time since he dumped her that morning. I got to see her first smile as a single woman.
*end memory*
I might have just agreed with her back then, but things were different now. Today, I plan to make her hopes come true.
The car ride to school was pretty quiet what with Xiah actually falling back to sleep, and Mom up in front doing his history homework. Tsk. Tsk. So this gave me time to think about what I was about to do this morning in my A - Block class.
It took me months to come up with the perfect way to ask her to be my Valentine, which would of course translate into asking her to be my girl. My idea revolved around the object I gently folded up and placed in my pocket before I had left the house today. That object was a tissue. But not just any tissue, this tissue had a poem on it that I had written to Eun Sun, in it, I explain that I had fallen for her the first time that we ever talked and I ask her to be my Valentine. I don’t know exactly what it says, I’ve been afraid to look at it since I wrote it a couple of months ago, I’m afraid I’m going to see how dumb it sounds and then be too afraid to give it to her. I thought it was good when I wrote it... so hopefully that thought/fact still stands true now. I might not remember what I wrote, but I do remember the first time we talked. It was in seventh grade, it was during math class, and I did something that changed my love life forever.
I sneezed.
*memory*
I sneezed. I closed my eyes during the sneeze, when I opened them there was a tissue in front of my face. The owner of that tissue was Bae Eun Sun.
“Here.” She said.
“Thanks.” I said.
“You're welcome.” She said.
*end memory*
It was the first time we had ever talked. I had kept the tissue for a whole week before Mom found it under my pillow and threw it out, something I am still miffed at him about. But today is different. Today I was going to make this a Valentine’s Day Eun Sun will never forget. And it started with giving her a tissue in return for the one she gave me on that fateful day.
“It’s not that pretty.” My senses slammed back to reality. Dad was next to me, staring in the same direction I was.
“What?”
“You’ve been staring at the side of the school lovingly, for the past three, five minutes, and I have to agree with your br... mother, it’s not that pretty.” He said. When did we arrive at school? I don’t even remember getting out of the car. Mom smiled brightly for being called out for what he was, my mother. Yes, it was out. Since December, the whole school (except for the teachers, who already knew) had to deal with the surprising news that the parents of the Kim “brothers”, were in fact, two of the Kim “brothers”. At first, no one wanted to believe it, but as more and more copies of my mom’s essay got spread around, the more people had to accept it as the truth. Of course, that “little” show of affection Mom and Dad just HAD to share at Heechul hyung’s Christmas party, did help people in realizing how true it all was. Either that, or they were thinking some incestuous thoughts... gross.
I personally don’t care if everyone thought about it, I only cared about what my friends thought. In truth, my friends... no, my best friend, Siwon, thought it was all a joke, but in the end I was finally able to convince him... he knows I wouldn’t... that I can’t, ever carry on a joke for too long, so when I was still saying “Yes, Jaejoong hyung is actually my Mom and Yunho hyung is my Dad.” after a month, he finally caved into the truth the only way he knew how.
“So shouldn’t you call them Jaejoong uma and Yunho appa?” With a joke, a very lame joke, if I might add, and I might, and so I did, my best friend accepted the truth. I don’t know if I was more happy about finally being able to let it all out, or the fact that I hadn’t lost any friends over it. I want to say it’s the latter, but there are just some days where it’s a toss up. And it does, I won’t kid you, feel great to be able to call Mom and Dad by their rightful names in public. Though it’s been taking some time to get use to.
So yeah, school was different in the sense that now I could say “hi” to my mom and dad like I do at home (the downside to this is now sometimes Mom calls me “Minnie”... in front of others! I’m just grateful my friends haven’t heard it yet.). And of course, everyone that wasn’t at the party did somehow find out the news, come that Tuesday morning. And yes, I was bombarded with tons of questions... but really, the gawking and the whispering behind my back, and the stalking, and the staring, and that annoying thing where you walk in a room and everyone shuts up!.... yeah all that, it lasted a good couple of months, and is now beginning, okay, so it started about a week ago, to quiet down... to get back to normal.
I guess Mom and Dad gave up on me because when I came to this time around, I noticed I was still in the parking lot, next to our car, all by myself. Great parenting skills, guys, leave your kid outside in the cold, where, due to his daydreaming, he ran the risk of freezing to death! But, then I realized that I WAS still outside and class could start any minute now since I have no idea how long I’ve been out here. So I shook my head of all my anti - parents thoughts, and ran inside.
I then ran to my locker. But slowed as I got there. People were still in the hallways so I wasn’t late or anything, which is good. I arrived at my locker only to find Siwon leaning against it, and he was talking to Kibum.
“Hey guys.” I said. Siwon moved so I could get to my locker.
“Where have you been, I saw your parents and Xiah hyung walk by like two minutes ago?” He said/asked.
“In the parking lot, mentally preparing for today.” I said cheerfully.
He just rolled his eyes, and said, “Oh geez.”
“Why, what’s today?” Kibum asked, Siwon just deadpanned.
“You mean he hasn’t talked your ear off about it yet, about his oh so wonderful plan to woo the woman he loves?”
“Oh that, sheesh, I’ve heard it so many times I guess for a second there, I thought it happened already.” He and Siwon laughed at my expense. But I didn’t care, not even their teasing could dampen my mood today. Not today.
Siwon and I then waved Kibum goodbye as we headed to our first class, World History (honors). It was also the only class of the day that I shared with Eun Sun, though we did have the same lunch period. So I planned on giving her the tissue now, that way, she could be my Valentine all day, WOOT! We walked into class and I noticed she wasn’t there yet. I went over to my desk to sit down and wait. Siwon sat in his desk next to me and after we were settled, the rest of the kids who were in the room migrated to our desks, the results of being popular. So immediately the chatting began among my friends, but I barley paid attention as I kept my eye on the door. I took the tissue out and laid it flat on my desk, making sure not to read what I had written. Then I folded it in two. I then folded it in four. Two minutes later I had to sit on my hands to keep from touching it again.
Then she entered. She walked right up to the teacher and asked him something. I watched her hands as she moved them around in little circles as she spoke.
I was so involved in my sight seeing I hadn’t seen Kyuhyun come right up to the side of my desk.
I didn’t hear him sneeze.
I didn’t hear him ask for my tissue.
But I did hear Siwon’s loud “No!”. I looked over, but it was too late. The tissue was already in Kyuhyun’s hand, crinkled and used. But! But I really don’t remember what I wrote, and I know it was good!!
There was no longer any tissue to give her.
Kyuhyun just froze, wondering what he did wrong.
“Choi Si Won, why is it that you felt the need to yell one minute before the start of class?” The teacher asked. Siwon knew better then to tell the truth, what with Eun Sun standing right next to the teacher.
“I’m sorry, Seongsaengnim, it was nothing.” He said. When the teacher turned his attention away, Siwon said to Kyuhyun. “Do you what you just did?”
“No.”
“That was Min’s present to Eun Sun you just ruined.” Kyuhyun’s mouth fell open. He opened the tissue again, made a disgusted face, and closed it back up. He then turned to me. I was still staring at the place the tissue had been, hoping it would trigger a jump back in time, to before Kyuhyun came over.
“I’m so sorry, Changmin, I didn’t realize this was “that” tissue. But I did ask if I could use it, and you didn’t say “no”.”
“He didn’t say “yes”, either.” Siwon interjected. Kyuhyun lowered his head, and said he was sorry again, and slowly made his way back to his own seat. It wasn't until I heard the “BEEEP” telling me that class had begun that it finally clicked. My gift for her... is gone. Months of trying to come up with the perfect way to tell her how I feel... all gone, ruined.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” I yelled and slammed my head against the desk. The teacher didn’t bother asking what was wrong this time. I could feel everyone’s, including her eyes, on me, but I didn’t care. I didn’t pick my head back up until I heard the “beeep” that signaled the end of class. Not that it mattered, the only thing we did in class, was review what was going to be on the Chapter Test on Monday. I looked up and saw that Siwon was next to me, next to my desk, finger in mid air and in “poking” position.
“Oh good, you’re up.”, He said, as he retracted his hand. “While you were moping, Kyuhyun and I came up with a another way you can get Eun Sun.” Kyuhyun decided to show himself then. I knew he didn’t mean to do anything wrong, but that didn’t make me NOT want to hit him any less.
“Yeah, I got the idea after you yelled that high pitched, “No” of yours.” He said.
“I was very nice.” Siwon added. Okay, he complemented me, where was he going with this, he is usually only VERY nice to me when he wants a favor, or when he wants me to... sing. Kyuhyun just nodded in agreement to his statement.
“You think I should sing, don’t you?”
“I think you should serenade her.” Was Siwon’s reply.
“But, I don’t have anything planned, what am I suppose to sing?”
“I don’t know, she’s your girl, sing whatever you want, sing whatever song reminds you of her.” He said. A song that reminds me of her. I had in a song in mind.
“Do you have a song?”
“Maybe.” He stared at me for a few seconds.
“It’s real mushy, isn’t it?”
“NO!... not really.”
“But I bet it’s sung by a boy band, right?”
“They’re not a boy band, they play their own instruments!”
He just flared his nose at me and asked. “Who?”
“Oh... Hanson.” He pressed his lips together to suppress a grin. He failed.
“So every time you see her, you feel like... “mmmboping”.”
“It’s not that song, you idiot.”
“Well, sing of bit of it for me, and I’ll tell you if you should sing it, or not.” He said. He really does like to hear me sing. He even had me sing in front of a grocery store one time, and he just held this tin cup thing, and people actually started giving us money. And he did buy me a candy bar with it... though he also bought himself two.
I looked at the clock on the classroom wall. We still had about eight minutes left of our ten minute break.
“Fine, I’ll sing you the first part and the chorus.” He then sat down in one of the desks and waited. I also noticed that the girls who had taken their time to gather their belongings before, had now run out the door. They came back with a bunch of girls in tow. Great, I had to perform for the masses.
WAIT, I love performing, this must be a sign of good things to come. I cleared my throat and began.
Well every single time I see you I start to feel this way
It makes me wonder if I am ever gonna feel this way again.
There's a picture
Tearin
In the back of my head
I see it over and over
I wanna hold you and love you
In my arms and then
I wanna need you
Cuz I need to be with you till the end
Then I hear myself reply you’ve got to hold it in this time, tonight
If only
I had the guts to feel this way,
If only
you’d look at me and want to stay,
If only
I could take you in my arms and say,
I wont go
Cuz I need you
Please don’t go
Cuz I need you now.
I finished. There was lots of clapping afterwards. I bowed. Then looked to Siwon to see if he approved of my choice of song.
“Man, if she doesn’t go with you after this, I’ll be your damn Valentine for the day.” I just covered my mouth with both my hands and did my signature laugh. Guess he approved. As my happy audience left, Siwon dug into his pocket and took out a piece of ... candy.
“Here, eat this, for luck.” At first I didn’t get it, I mean, it was cough drop. But, then I happily took it. Yes, the last thing I needed was my voice to crack while I sang, and a cough drop will keep my throat moist. I popped it into my mouth.
“All right, lets do this!” I said. And then the three of us left the room. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. It was really gonna happen, I was going to sing my love to Eun Sun.
*********************************
On to the next part
Rating: PG
Pairing: Changmin/ Eun Sun (orginal character)
Summery: "Could I call you mine and could you call me yours?"....It's Valentine's Day, so now Kim Changmin has 24 hours to win the heart of the girl he loves. Will he succeed?
A/N: HI, I believe it's my first time posting here ^^.Like stated up above this is the third story of a series I am writing. So while your reading, if you get confused or curious about some of the things Changmin refers to, like why his last name is 'Kim', then feel free to read the first two stories... or just ask me. Enjoy.
For those who are already familiar with the seriers.... I'm happy to see you and ENJOY!
Story one found here (It's Yoosu)
Story two found here (It's Jaeho)
I woke up in a way that I have never woken up before, I woke up feeling nervous.
Today was the day. Today was the day I have been waiting for since... last year. Last year, Bae Eun Sun had a boyfriend, and it was on Valentine’s Day that he had chosen to break up with her.
*memory*
“I’m so sorry, Eun Sun, and to have this happen on today of all days.” I said to her while rubbing her back. We were sitting on one of the benches in front of the school.
“I guess it was bound to happen, things haven’t been going so well between us lately, and as for today...”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I just hope that someday, someone can make my Valentine’s Day one I can be happy to remember.”
“I hope so too.” She smiled for the first time since he dumped her that morning. I got to see her first smile as a single woman.
*end memory*
I might have just agreed with her back then, but things were different now. Today, I plan to make her hopes come true.
The car ride to school was pretty quiet what with Xiah actually falling back to sleep, and Mom up in front doing his history homework. Tsk. Tsk. So this gave me time to think about what I was about to do this morning in my A - Block class.
It took me months to come up with the perfect way to ask her to be my Valentine, which would of course translate into asking her to be my girl. My idea revolved around the object I gently folded up and placed in my pocket before I had left the house today. That object was a tissue. But not just any tissue, this tissue had a poem on it that I had written to Eun Sun, in it, I explain that I had fallen for her the first time that we ever talked and I ask her to be my Valentine. I don’t know exactly what it says, I’ve been afraid to look at it since I wrote it a couple of months ago, I’m afraid I’m going to see how dumb it sounds and then be too afraid to give it to her. I thought it was good when I wrote it... so hopefully that thought/fact still stands true now. I might not remember what I wrote, but I do remember the first time we talked. It was in seventh grade, it was during math class, and I did something that changed my love life forever.
I sneezed.
*memory*
I sneezed. I closed my eyes during the sneeze, when I opened them there was a tissue in front of my face. The owner of that tissue was Bae Eun Sun.
“Here.” She said.
“Thanks.” I said.
“You're welcome.” She said.
*end memory*
It was the first time we had ever talked. I had kept the tissue for a whole week before Mom found it under my pillow and threw it out, something I am still miffed at him about. But today is different. Today I was going to make this a Valentine’s Day Eun Sun will never forget. And it started with giving her a tissue in return for the one she gave me on that fateful day.
“It’s not that pretty.” My senses slammed back to reality. Dad was next to me, staring in the same direction I was.
“What?”
“You’ve been staring at the side of the school lovingly, for the past three, five minutes, and I have to agree with your br... mother, it’s not that pretty.” He said. When did we arrive at school? I don’t even remember getting out of the car. Mom smiled brightly for being called out for what he was, my mother. Yes, it was out. Since December, the whole school (except for the teachers, who already knew) had to deal with the surprising news that the parents of the Kim “brothers”, were in fact, two of the Kim “brothers”. At first, no one wanted to believe it, but as more and more copies of my mom’s essay got spread around, the more people had to accept it as the truth. Of course, that “little” show of affection Mom and Dad just HAD to share at Heechul hyung’s Christmas party, did help people in realizing how true it all was. Either that, or they were thinking some incestuous thoughts... gross.
I personally don’t care if everyone thought about it, I only cared about what my friends thought. In truth, my friends... no, my best friend, Siwon, thought it was all a joke, but in the end I was finally able to convince him... he knows I wouldn’t... that I can’t, ever carry on a joke for too long, so when I was still saying “Yes, Jaejoong hyung is actually my Mom and Yunho hyung is my Dad.” after a month, he finally caved into the truth the only way he knew how.
“So shouldn’t you call them Jaejoong uma and Yunho appa?” With a joke, a very lame joke, if I might add, and I might, and so I did, my best friend accepted the truth. I don’t know if I was more happy about finally being able to let it all out, or the fact that I hadn’t lost any friends over it. I want to say it’s the latter, but there are just some days where it’s a toss up. And it does, I won’t kid you, feel great to be able to call Mom and Dad by their rightful names in public. Though it’s been taking some time to get use to.
So yeah, school was different in the sense that now I could say “hi” to my mom and dad like I do at home (the downside to this is now sometimes Mom calls me “Minnie”... in front of others! I’m just grateful my friends haven’t heard it yet.). And of course, everyone that wasn’t at the party did somehow find out the news, come that Tuesday morning. And yes, I was bombarded with tons of questions... but really, the gawking and the whispering behind my back, and the stalking, and the staring, and that annoying thing where you walk in a room and everyone shuts up!.... yeah all that, it lasted a good couple of months, and is now beginning, okay, so it started about a week ago, to quiet down... to get back to normal.
I guess Mom and Dad gave up on me because when I came to this time around, I noticed I was still in the parking lot, next to our car, all by myself. Great parenting skills, guys, leave your kid outside in the cold, where, due to his daydreaming, he ran the risk of freezing to death! But, then I realized that I WAS still outside and class could start any minute now since I have no idea how long I’ve been out here. So I shook my head of all my anti - parents thoughts, and ran inside.
I then ran to my locker. But slowed as I got there. People were still in the hallways so I wasn’t late or anything, which is good. I arrived at my locker only to find Siwon leaning against it, and he was talking to Kibum.
“Hey guys.” I said. Siwon moved so I could get to my locker.
“Where have you been, I saw your parents and Xiah hyung walk by like two minutes ago?” He said/asked.
“In the parking lot, mentally preparing for today.” I said cheerfully.
He just rolled his eyes, and said, “Oh geez.”
“Why, what’s today?” Kibum asked, Siwon just deadpanned.
“You mean he hasn’t talked your ear off about it yet, about his oh so wonderful plan to woo the woman he loves?”
“Oh that, sheesh, I’ve heard it so many times I guess for a second there, I thought it happened already.” He and Siwon laughed at my expense. But I didn’t care, not even their teasing could dampen my mood today. Not today.
Siwon and I then waved Kibum goodbye as we headed to our first class, World History (honors). It was also the only class of the day that I shared with Eun Sun, though we did have the same lunch period. So I planned on giving her the tissue now, that way, she could be my Valentine all day, WOOT! We walked into class and I noticed she wasn’t there yet. I went over to my desk to sit down and wait. Siwon sat in his desk next to me and after we were settled, the rest of the kids who were in the room migrated to our desks, the results of being popular. So immediately the chatting began among my friends, but I barley paid attention as I kept my eye on the door. I took the tissue out and laid it flat on my desk, making sure not to read what I had written. Then I folded it in two. I then folded it in four. Two minutes later I had to sit on my hands to keep from touching it again.
Then she entered. She walked right up to the teacher and asked him something. I watched her hands as she moved them around in little circles as she spoke.
I was so involved in my sight seeing I hadn’t seen Kyuhyun come right up to the side of my desk.
I didn’t hear him sneeze.
I didn’t hear him ask for my tissue.
But I did hear Siwon’s loud “No!”. I looked over, but it was too late. The tissue was already in Kyuhyun’s hand, crinkled and used. But! But I really don’t remember what I wrote, and I know it was good!!
There was no longer any tissue to give her.
Kyuhyun just froze, wondering what he did wrong.
“Choi Si Won, why is it that you felt the need to yell one minute before the start of class?” The teacher asked. Siwon knew better then to tell the truth, what with Eun Sun standing right next to the teacher.
“I’m sorry, Seongsaengnim, it was nothing.” He said. When the teacher turned his attention away, Siwon said to Kyuhyun. “Do you what you just did?”
“No.”
“That was Min’s present to Eun Sun you just ruined.” Kyuhyun’s mouth fell open. He opened the tissue again, made a disgusted face, and closed it back up. He then turned to me. I was still staring at the place the tissue had been, hoping it would trigger a jump back in time, to before Kyuhyun came over.
“I’m so sorry, Changmin, I didn’t realize this was “that” tissue. But I did ask if I could use it, and you didn’t say “no”.”
“He didn’t say “yes”, either.” Siwon interjected. Kyuhyun lowered his head, and said he was sorry again, and slowly made his way back to his own seat. It wasn't until I heard the “BEEEP” telling me that class had begun that it finally clicked. My gift for her... is gone. Months of trying to come up with the perfect way to tell her how I feel... all gone, ruined.
“NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” I yelled and slammed my head against the desk. The teacher didn’t bother asking what was wrong this time. I could feel everyone’s, including her eyes, on me, but I didn’t care. I didn’t pick my head back up until I heard the “beeep” that signaled the end of class. Not that it mattered, the only thing we did in class, was review what was going to be on the Chapter Test on Monday. I looked up and saw that Siwon was next to me, next to my desk, finger in mid air and in “poking” position.
“Oh good, you’re up.”, He said, as he retracted his hand. “While you were moping, Kyuhyun and I came up with a another way you can get Eun Sun.” Kyuhyun decided to show himself then. I knew he didn’t mean to do anything wrong, but that didn’t make me NOT want to hit him any less.
“Yeah, I got the idea after you yelled that high pitched, “No” of yours.” He said.
“I was very nice.” Siwon added. Okay, he complemented me, where was he going with this, he is usually only VERY nice to me when he wants a favor, or when he wants me to... sing. Kyuhyun just nodded in agreement to his statement.
“You think I should sing, don’t you?”
“I think you should serenade her.” Was Siwon’s reply.
“But, I don’t have anything planned, what am I suppose to sing?”
“I don’t know, she’s your girl, sing whatever you want, sing whatever song reminds you of her.” He said. A song that reminds me of her. I had in a song in mind.
“Do you have a song?”
“Maybe.” He stared at me for a few seconds.
“It’s real mushy, isn’t it?”
“NO!... not really.”
“But I bet it’s sung by a boy band, right?”
“They’re not a boy band, they play their own instruments!”
He just flared his nose at me and asked. “Who?”
“Oh... Hanson.” He pressed his lips together to suppress a grin. He failed.
“So every time you see her, you feel like... “mmmboping”.”
“It’s not that song, you idiot.”
“Well, sing of bit of it for me, and I’ll tell you if you should sing it, or not.” He said. He really does like to hear me sing. He even had me sing in front of a grocery store one time, and he just held this tin cup thing, and people actually started giving us money. And he did buy me a candy bar with it... though he also bought himself two.
I looked at the clock on the classroom wall. We still had about eight minutes left of our ten minute break.
“Fine, I’ll sing you the first part and the chorus.” He then sat down in one of the desks and waited. I also noticed that the girls who had taken their time to gather their belongings before, had now run out the door. They came back with a bunch of girls in tow. Great, I had to perform for the masses.
WAIT, I love performing, this must be a sign of good things to come. I cleared my throat and began.
Well every single time I see you I start to feel this way
It makes me wonder if I am ever gonna feel this way again.
There's a picture
Tearin
In the back of my head
I see it over and over
I wanna hold you and love you
In my arms and then
I wanna need you
Cuz I need to be with you till the end
Then I hear myself reply you’ve got to hold it in this time, tonight
If only
I had the guts to feel this way,
If only
you’d look at me and want to stay,
If only
I could take you in my arms and say,
I wont go
Cuz I need you
Please don’t go
Cuz I need you now.
I finished. There was lots of clapping afterwards. I bowed. Then looked to Siwon to see if he approved of my choice of song.
“Man, if she doesn’t go with you after this, I’ll be your damn Valentine for the day.” I just covered my mouth with both my hands and did my signature laugh. Guess he approved. As my happy audience left, Siwon dug into his pocket and took out a piece of ... candy.
“Here, eat this, for luck.” At first I didn’t get it, I mean, it was cough drop. But, then I happily took it. Yes, the last thing I needed was my voice to crack while I sang, and a cough drop will keep my throat moist. I popped it into my mouth.
“All right, lets do this!” I said. And then the three of us left the room. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. It was really gonna happen, I was going to sing my love to Eun Sun.
*********************************
On to the next part