[Entry 5] Texts and Angel Feathers [8/9]

[baekmesomeyeol]

Chanyeol was all too familiar with the feeling of a bleak Christmas Eve.

Kris had texted him earlier that day, but Chanyeol ignored it for his own sanity. Today was Christmas Eve. Today was his and Baekhyun’s day.

Chanyeol wasn’t sure how he managed to end up on top of the roof to Baekhyun’s old apartment, but when he was met with the familiar layout of the roof, he found he didn’t care. Chanyeol stood at the top of the roof and took in a deep breath, allowing the cold winter wind to blow through his hair, as though it was blowing all of his problems away.

Chanyeol stayed on the rooftop for a while, just reveling in his and Baekhyun’s old spot before exiting the building and slowly walking toward his house. As he walked past the familiar scenery, he felt a little more light-hearted. The old flower shop that he used to go to for roses to give to Baekhyun was still open. The playground where they had first met was lively and full of children playing with other children. Chanyeol stopped for a second and smiled, hoping those children would make the best friend of a lifetime here, before he continued on his journey. He wandered through the familiar path of bare trees that lined the walkway, but the empty space beside him was all too noticeable as he pulled his scarf over his nose before turning into his neighborhood and entering his house shortly after.
His mother wasn’t home. He was used to this by now.

Chanyeol started a fire in his fireplace and made a cup of hot chocolate before he curled up under a blanket on the couch, grasping the warm mug as though it was his only sense of warmth in a dreary winter.

Chanyeol pushed his glasses up on his nose as his eyes scanned through the words of his book for about half an hour before he yawned and set his mug and the book aside. Chanyeol stood and returned to his room to change into his pajamas, but as he opened his door to return to his couch, he noticed a small, familiar white feather lying at the tips of his toes. A little startled to find one at his house, he picked it up wearily, before noticing another one lying not too far away. Chanyeol frowned as he walked toward that one and quickly discovered a path of the feathers leading through the house.
Chanyeol followed the trail slowly, staring at the feathers on the ground and wondering why these feathers would suddenly choose now to appear, but as he reached the end of the trail, he noticed small, pale toes that definitely weren’t there before.

A little alarmed that someone else had entered his house and was lying down feathers, Chanyeol looked up hastily, but his eyes widened as he was met with a small, angelic face, beautiful dark brown eyes, unmistakable brown hair, and a shy smile that he could never forget.

For what felt like minutes, the two stood there staring at each other as though they were wondering if they were having hallucinations, before the angelic boy broke the silence.

“Hi.”
The soft whisper of the boy’s voice twirled around Chanyeol, tickling his skin and sending pleasurable shivers throughout it. How much he missed that sensation. How much he missed Baekhyun.

All of his logical thought flew out the window as he ran toward the petite angel and enveloped him in his arms. “You’re real right?” Chanyeol practically cried. “You’re actually here, right?”
Baekhyun laughed his happy laughter. Chanyeol reveled in the sound. How could I ever let something like this go?

“Whoa, miss me much?”

Chanyeol took in a deep breath and squeezed Baekhyun a bit tighter as his eyes began to flood with joyful tears. “Too much. Way too much.”

Baekhyun’s angelic laugh escaped his lips again.

Chanyeol sighed and wiped at the corner of his eyes with his wrist. “You’re such an idiot.”

Baekhyun smiled softly. “I’m sorry.”

Chanyeol’s eyes gazed over Baekhyun, and his breath escaped in a stream of questions. “How did you get here? How did you find me? How come you’re...”

Baekhyun’s laughter cut him off. “It’s long story that I don’t think I should tell.” Even though I’m breaking all the rules anyways.

Chanyeol gasped and chose to change the subject as he noticed something surprising. “What is this? You have wings!”

Baekhyun’s eyes turned into happy little crescents as Chanyeol ran his fingers along the soft, elegant, white feathers and marveled at the touch. “Of course! They mean I’m officially an angel now.”
Chanyeol smirked teasingly. “You don’t need wings to make you an official angel - you were one before.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and hit Chanyeol’s arm playfully. “I show up for the first time in a year and all you can say are these cheesy lines?” He laughed along with Chanyeol and muttered, “You’re the idiot here.”

Chanyeol’s laughter died out slowly and he continued rubbing the feathers on Baekhyun’s wings as he was reminded of the white feathers he had been finding all along. “So it was you? Those feathers really were you?”

Baekhyun laughed a little. “It was actually an accident that they were left behind and that you started finding them.”

Chanyeol smiled. “Well you were always clumsy, so that’s believable.” Chanyeol’s smile softened as he finished. “But it’s okay. They were like little reminders that you were still there with me.”
They held each other’s gaze as a comfortable silence filled the room. Chanyeol opened his mouth to say something else, but he felt like he couldn’t as all of his emotions flooded his senses and filled his mind.

Baekhyun chose to speak instead. “I read your texts.”

Chanyeol’s breath hitched and he held Baekhyun at an arm’s length away. “… You did?”

Baekhyun nodded. “All of them.”

Before Chanyeol could open his mouth to complain or explain, Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and pushed himself up to the tips of his toes, leaning into Chanyeol to capture his lips in his own.

Chanyeol was surprised by the sudden act at first, but as his mind caught up to him, his eyelids slowly fluttered closed and tingles spread throughout his skin as a passionate fire rekindled itself in his chest. His hands ran through Baekhyun’s hair, and his fingers curled in the back of his shirt as he reveled in the touch of how real Baekhyun felt. Of how soft his lips were, or how sweet his scent was. How long had he been waiting for this to happen…

Baekhyun pulled away slightly and held their foreheads together. “And I missed you so much too.”
Chanyeol’s arms slowly wound around Baekhyun’s waist, and as he pulled them closer together, both realized that this was the position they should have always been in.

Yes. All is right with the world.

At that moment, Baekhyun didn’t care about what would happen. All of his insecurities and worries about punishment disappeared. He just knew that being in Chanyeol’s arms like this… This was the best thing he could ever wish for.

The two stayed together like this for a minute or two, just enjoying each other’s presence, the warmth of the other’s bodies, Chanyeol’s pulse in his temples, or Baekhyun’s breath on his skin. The silence was broken by Chanyeol’s whisper.

“I love you so much.”

Baekhyun smiled softly, refusing to acknowledge that no matter how much Chanyeol loved him or how much Baekhyun loved him back, they couldn’t be together anyways. Baekhyun didn’t want to think about that right now. He had to enjoy the few fleeting moments they had together as much as he could. He took in a deep breath, inhaling Chanyeol’s scent that he missed so much.

“I love you so much more.”

They pulled their foreheads away from each other and held each other close. Chanyeol ran his hand through Baekhyun’s hair and down the side of his face before releasing a choked up sob. “I thought I’d never get to see your beautiful eyes again.”

Baekhyun’s eyes crinkled at the edges as he gave off the saddest smile he could give. You shouldn’t have been able to. “You have the pictures…”

“But they’re nothing like the real ones. You have such beautiful eyes.”

Baekhyun’s fingers tightened in Chanyeol’s shirt. “You have such dazzling ears.”
Chanyeol laughed, making Baekhyun’s heart flutter. The two smiled to each other and pulled into another small kiss.

Chanyeol pulled away after a few seconds with a shocked look on his face. “Hold on… hold on…” He mumbled as he tore away from Baekhyun’s grasp and ran down the hallway, leaving Baekhyun standing, dazed in the middle of his living room. Baekhyun heard Chanyeol muttering something unintelligible and throwing stuff around his room until his footsteps hurried back downstairs and toward Baekhyun.

He approached Baekhyun slowly with a small box behind his back.

“So I know I’m a year late…”

Baekhyun’s eyes widened.

“… But I’ve been meaning to give this to you for a while now.”

Chanyeol told Baekhyun to close his eyes as he took one of Baekhyun’s hands and opened the box. Baekhyun felt nothing besides the warm touch of Chanyeol’s fingers, and then the cold touch of something small and metallic slipping onto his ring finger.

Baekhyun opened his eyes and looked down to his hand, gaping at the small, silver ring Chanyeol slid onto his finger.

“Merry Christmas, Baek.”

Baekhyun stared in awe. Chanyeol decided to speak up because it seemed like his princess was rendered speechless. “They’re couple rings, I guess, even though we weren’t really a couple.” Chanyeol held up his own hand, showing off the same ring on his finger. “Xiumin and I were talking about them last year, and I saw these and I thought they were perfect so…”

Baekhyun’s mind came back as he heard the name ‘Xiumin.’ He smiled a little. Minseok, you devious little cupid bastard. Minseok was obviously working hard to get the two of them together if he managed to convince Chanyeol to get couple rings. Baekhyun’s eyes drew up to Chanyeol’s shy face.

“So…” Chanyeol mumbled softly, “… do you like it?”

Baekhyun could do nothing more than throw his arms around Chanyeol and capture his lips in a soft kiss.

“You are so perfect. I love you, Chanyeol. I love you so much.”

It was always like this.

Chanyeol picked up Baekhyun bridal style and they laughed together as Chanyeol led them over to the couch, where Baekhyun curled up on Chanyeol’s lap as Chanyeol’s arms wrapped around his waist. Baekhyun nuzzled his nose into Chanyeol’s neck, reveling in the warmth and Chanyeol’s scent, as the two escaped into tales of the past year without the other, and how much they spent thinking about each other and what they did during their time apart. As they continued talking, they planted small, chaste kisses on the other’s unsuspecting lips, cheek, forehead, nose, neck, or any other place that they could think to peck at random moments in time, which always made the other blush a little or give a small kiss back.

Baekhyun was always like this.

As minutes turned into hours, they continued recalling old memories and just basked in each other’s presence. Baekhyun wanted to capture each moment and keep it forever. The way his giant’s eyelids fluttered drowsily at his words made his heart flutter. He was charmed by the way Chanyeol’s lips curled up into an endearing smile whenever Baekhyun yawned. Being with Chanyeol felt more like heaven than Haven ever did. Baekhyun wanted to get used to this. He wanted to stay with Chanyeol forever.

And he wanted them to always be like this.
Baekhyun leaned into Chanyeol’s chest as their conversation died out. The sound of Chanyeol’s heartbeat resonated in his ears, and he sighed sleepily, sinking into his position. This is how it should be. Baekhyun suddenly recalled the night before the accident, when they lay on the couch in a similar position, and Baekhyun was thinking about how beautiful Chanyeol looked half asleep and the thought of his soft, pink lips.

A small smile graced Baekhyun’s lips as he sat up and turned toward Chanyeol, who glanced down to him over his glasses with half-lidded eyes. Baekhyun slowly slid his hands up to Chanyeol’s glasses and slid the frames off him before folding the glasses and placing them on the sofa beside them. With no further warning, Baekhyun leaned upward and captured the other’s lips again. Chanyeol’s arms slowly tightened a little around Baekhyun’s waist as he leaned down further and Baekhyun pushed himself up. Baekhyun’s senses were overwhelmed. The world felt like it paused around them just to allow the two of them to enjoy this moment. Tingles danced down Baekhyun’s spine when he sank into Chanyeol’s lap as Chanyeol’s hushed, delighted moans created a melody that matched his heart’s rhythmic beat as it pounded steadily against his chest, leaving Baekhyun with a giddy, light-headed feeling. As he drew closer to him, the familiar scent of Chanyeol’s aroma filled his mind, and the heat of his arms around his waist calmed him into a state of serenity and peace.

Baekhyun felt safe in Chanyeol’s arms like this. He was in a completely different world that only held the two of them. There were no worries in this world when he was with Chanyeol. There was no uncertainty, no pain, and no sorrow. Just… Chanyeol. And that was all Baekhyun needed.

Chanyeol readjusted Baekhyun’s position as they both released a small moan into the other’s mouth before slowly pulling away each other. Chanyeol leaned over slowly to trail small kisses down Baekhyun’s neck and Baekhyun nuzzled his nose into the warmth of the crook of Chanyeol’s neck and pressed small pecks against the underside of his jaw. Baekhyun ran his fingers through Chanyeol’s soft hair as he leaned over to kiss Chanyeol’s temple before Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun further into his lap and intertwined their fingers as he drew the boy in for another kiss. Baekhyun’s fingers fit perfectly in the spaces between Chanyeol’s, and the connection of their lips were like puzzle pieces that were made for each other and never meant to be separated.

It was bliss. Sheer bliss.

Their kiss was soft. It was full of love. It wasn’t rushed or desperate, nor was it lusty or guilty. It was… perfect.

“Baek… Baek!”

Baekhyun pulled away suddenly at a tug in his hair and a harsh whisper near his ear from a voice that was undeniably Jongdae’s. “We have to go. Now. Or else they’re going to send people in.”
Baekhyun looked to Jongdae as he stood up slowly, pulling his hands away from Chanyeol’s. Feeling as though they were missing something from the loss of connection, both shuddered a little from how cold their hands felt without the other’s. Baekhyun curled his fingers to get rid of the feeling and shook his head quickly. “But…”

“Baek now! Say your goodbyes!”

Baekhyun looked back to Chanyeol’s confused face with frustrated tears starting to pool in his eyes. “But… but there’s so much more I still want to do with you…”
Jongdae groaned as Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun’s hands and kissed his knuckles. “We still can…”
Jongdae growled from Baekhyun’s side. Baekhyun shook his head and wiped away his tears with his wrist, realizing how serious he should be about this. “I can’t, Chanyeol. I have to go…”

“… Go where?”

“Back.”

“Forever?”

Baekhyun looked away.

Chanyeol stood slowly and ran a hand through his hair cautiously. He took a moment to think before he sighed. “Do you… have to…?”

The regret, the longing, the pain in Chanyeol’s soft voice made Baekhyun shatter on the inside.
Baekhyun allowed a small, apologetic smile to grace his lips, but as he stared into Chanyeol’s sad eyes, his smile fell as his eyes filled with tears. He gasped twice softly, squeaking a little as he tried to keep his tears from falling, but they rolled down his cheeks anyway. Baekhyun felt the world crash around him as pain shot through every part of his being. It hurt. It hurt so badly having to leave him again like this.

Chanyeol blinked twice and pulled the boy into a tight hug. Chanyeol couldn’t help but notice how nicely that Baekhyun fit tucked in his arms underneath his chin as Baekhyun hid his face in Chanyeol’s chest. He balled up his fists in Chanyeol’s shirt, crying into the cloth as Chanyeol whispered softly into his ear to soothe him.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” Baekhyun mumbled into Chanyeol’s shirt amidst his tears. “I don’t want to leave you…”

Chanyeol put his finger underneath Baekhyun’s chin and smiled softly, wiping away his tears with his thumb. “It’ll be okay, right? It’ll all be okay…” Neither of them believed that, but they both refused to acknowledge it.

Chanyeol’s smile didn’t fade as he said, “At least I got to see you this time, right?” He put his hand over Baekhyun’s heart. “And I’ll always be with you. Right here.” Baekhyun’s frown remained as he glanced away, and Chanyeol leaned downward to kiss away Baekhyun’s frown. “You should smile more often. You were always so beautiful when you smiled.”

Baekhyun slowly nodded with a small, remorseful smile. “Thank you, Chanyeol. For everything.”
Chanyeol smiled softly in response as Baekhyun disappeared.
Then he slid to the floor and cried into his knees. It felt like he was losing him a second time.

---------------

Baekhyun received a letter from an anxious-looking Jongdae the next morning.

He hesitantly took it from Jongdae with shaky hands as he read it aloud.

‘Byun Baekhyun,

You are invited to a meeting with the council to discuss an issue that has come up recently. Your attendance is required. Guards will be sent to retrieve you in the evening.
Signed, Fate and Destiny.’

A formal invitation. And an escort. That definitely wasn’t good.

---------------

Jongdae paced the room nervously while Baekhyun sat on his bed with his head in his hands, and Minseok sat next to him, rubbing his back. Baekhyun sniffed as he looked up to Minseok. “I’m sorry for getting you two in potential trouble.”

Minseok smiled softly. “The smile on your face - and on Chanyeol’s - is well worth anything Fate could do to us now.”

Baekhyun didn’t fake a smile as he looked back down. The two remained in their silence, drowning out Jongdae’s constant worrying.

-------

A knock on their door surprised all three of them, as though they weren’t expecting it. Jongdae stared at the door with a horrified look; Baekhyun didn’t look up. Minseok walked toward the door slowly and opened it. Two large men dressed completely in black stood on the other side.

“We are here for Byun Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun looked upward.

Jongdae and Minseok glanced to him as he stood slowly and gave them both a small smile.
Baekhyun walked toward the door slowly. The silence was deafening.
He stopped in front of the men and gave a sigh before waving with an uncertain look on his face. Baekhyun turned to walk away from the house, but one of the men spoke up.

“Oh… Jongdae? Minseok?” The other two looked up. “The council would like to see you two as well.”

-------

The men had put chains on Baekhyun’s wrists to restrain him and threatened to tighten them periodically, especially whenever he started getting hard to control.

Baekhyun wanted to keep his composure while the guards were leading him to the council room, but he also wanted to shout at them for taking Jongdae and Minseok too. Baekhyun didn’t want them to get in trouble - he was the only one that had done anything wrong.

The council doors opened with a loud groan.

Baekhyun was pushed into the room and fell to his knees. “Byun Baekhyun?” Baekhyun shuddered at the sound of his name and flinched when the chains clenched on the skin on his wrists.
He glanced upward, met by the emotionless face of Luhan. Behind him sat everyone else on the council.

The large, ivory pillars and gold drapes on the walls of the room seemed more daunting than they were the previous times that Baekhyun had come to the council room. The silence in the large, empty circular room made the hairs on the back of Baekhyun’s neck stand up as his eyes locked onto Luhan’s.

Luhan’s face remained hard as he spoke softly. “This is the third time you’ve been in this room since becoming a guardian angel.”

Baekhyun stared at Luhan silently as Jongdae and Minseok walked up to either side of Baekhyun.
A voice from behind Luhan boomed. “Do the three of you know why you’re here?” Jongdae and Minseok nodded. Baekhyun’s eyes were still fixated on Luhan’s. There was something in them that he couldn’t understand.

“A punishment has yet to be determined for all of you, but -”

A slight look of worry and panic crossed Luhan’s face as he blinked and looked away. Baekhyun’s ears finally caught up to the conversation. “Wait, for all of us?” Baekhyun asked as he shuffled to his feet. Minseok and Jongdae glanced to him as he tried to step forward. “The two of them don’t deserve a punishment, or at least that’s one as extensive as mine - they haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Baekhyun, there’s-”

“No, there’s no justification for this! I’m the only one that did anything against your rules. I pressured them into it, so they don’t-”

“Byun Baekhyun!” Baekhyun winced and stumbled in pain as the restraints tightened on his wrists, but he kept speaking.

The guards stepped forward to silence him, but a woman from the council waved her hand as if to stop them.

Another person from the council shouted, “Boy, your punishment will get worse if you continue to speak.”

“Do whatever you want to me! I don’t care! Do you want my wings?!” Baekhyun shouted as he turned around, showing his back to the council as he spread out his wings and bent over, giving them the
perfect view of his outstretched feathers. “Take them! Rip them off!”

“Baekhyun, please…” Luhan pleaded softly, but the girl from the council stood.

“No… let him speak.” Baekhyun glanced up to the girl, who smiled a little. “I want to hear him speak.”
Baekhyun stood up straight and turned around quickly, blinking as a he took a step back. He opened his mouth to say something, but he just mumbled awkwardly, “Just please… don’t hurt my friends…”
Another person stood and said, “Actually, we’re done here. The council is going to convene and discuss this to decide your punishment.”

The guards tugged on Baekhyun’s chains to pull him and the others out of the room. Baekhyun took another glance at Luhan’s distressed expression before he was shoved out the door.

-------

“What did you just do?” Jongdae hissed as he continued pacing the hallway. They had been out here for at least five minutes, and none of them had the guts to speak until Jongdae broke the silence. “You didn’t have to freak out like that!”

“It just… It just sort of happened…”

“Baekhyun, you didn’t have to fight for us - we already knew something would happen,” Minseok added.

“But I don’t want you guys to get hurt. You don’t need this…”

“But now your punishment is going to be worse and -”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t need you getting hurt for something stupid that I did.”

Minseok opened his mouth to speak, but Luhan poked his head out of the door. “Will the three of you enter?”

Minseok, Jongdae, and Baekhyun glanced to each other before following Luhan into the room.

-------

Baekhyun took a deep breath as he closed the door behind him. “Is it just you?” Luhan nodded softly, turning his back to the three of them as he walked to the middle of the room. “I thought the entire council would tell me.”

“It’s more of my own matter anyway. Fate gave the order… I just have to carry it out.” Luhan paused and turned back to the three of them, eyes glancing over each of their heads before settling on Baekhyun. “Because yours is the most extensive, Baekhyun, I’m going to tell you first.”
Baekhyun swallowed thickly. “There’s no need for any formalities you may have prepared. Just tell me about it.” Luhan gave him a concerned glance, but Baekhyun reassured him, “It’s fine.”

“No, Baek, it’s not fine. You won’t be fine.”

Baekhyun cringed. “Am I being put out of Haven?”

Luhan frowned. “No.”

The response caught Baekhyun by surprise, but he wasn’t able to speak as Luhan spoke softly instead. “There’s been a meeting about what to do with you…” Luhan paused as he walked toward Baekhyun and frowned. “I tried to vouch for you, but I couldn’t do much... I told them that you were such a great asset to my team and how irreplaceable you were and that it was just incidents with Park Chanyeol that got you in trouble.

“Fate said she realized that, so she wouldn’t ban you.” Luhan paused as if to calm himself down. “She said that she has to take away the root of the problem or something you value the most, and in this case it’s convenient for her because they’re the same thing… and I know it’s something that is going to destroy you inside.” He glanced to Baekhyun with an apprehensive frown and spoke cautiously. “I… I have to erase your memories of Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun stared at Luhan in a mix between horror, shock, and denial. “B-but I thought-”

“They decided to do something different.” Luhan quickly looked away. “It seems as though something as simple as banning you wouldn’t be enough. Because your contact with Chanyeol is such a distraction to you and a hindrance to Fate’s plans, we have to do this.” He paused. “Not to mention, you shouldn’t have your memories of him anyway.”

Baekhyun stared at Luhan before sliding to his knees. “B… bu-but… but…”

“The erasing of your memory will occur tomorrow morning at sunrise.” Luhan cut him off quickly, obviously not able to deal with his friend’s pain. “You will also no longer be Mr. Park’s guardian angel. Fate will assign you to a different position.”

Luhan didn’t meet his eyes as he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun stared at Luhan before dropping his eyesight to the floor, and as it unfocused, he put his fingers to his temples and shook his head slowly. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.

Luhan paused before he turned to Minseok and Jongdae and said, “The council has decided that Baekhyun will shoulder the majority of the punishment. With a potential job change and the loss of his memory, Fate decided that it would be better than kicking him out and losing someone who seems so valuable.” He took a deep breath. “Even so, you two will not be punished, but you must know that you cannot exchange items with anyone again.” They nodded. Luhan continued. “To be sure that Baekhyun will not gain back his lost memory, you two will also have your memories of everything dealing with Chanyeol erased as well, also so you two don’t shoulder the burden of… the past.” Minseok nodded slowly, but Jongdae turned to Baekhyun who was still on the floor, gaping at the tile, too shocked to actually cry. Jongdae watched as a single tear slowly rolled down his cheek.

Jongdae bit his lip. Maybe having his wings ripped off would have been better than this.

Jongdae looked back up to Luhan and whispered, “Is there nothing I can do…?”

Luhan shook his head slowly. “Fate has decided.”

Jongdae’s eyesight lowered back to Baekhyun. “You’re pretty much killing him as it is.”
Luhan looked away. “I know.”

Baekhyun remained silent, still staring at the floor.

A couple of seconds of near silence ensued.

Luhan knelt down to Baekhyun and held his face in his hands. “Baek… I can’t change your sentence, and I apologize for that… but is there anything I can do to lessen the pain?”
Baekhyun’s eyesight rose slowly and barely met Luhan’s eyes. His voice came out in a soft, shaky whisper. “Can I see him one more time?”

“I can’t allow you to go down… but I can escort you to The Observatory.”

-------

Baekhyun sat at the edges of the clouds of The Observatory, watching Chanyeol and his mother. He had forgotten it was Christmas. He noticed his own mother was there, singing carols along with them. Chanyeol’s smile was heavenly. It was brighter than the star on top of their tree and the lights strung around their house.

Baekhyun whispered softly, “This is the happiest I’ve seen him. That’s the brightest he’s smiled in a year.”

Luhan put his hand on his shoulder and sat down next to Baekhyun. “Because of you.”
Baekhyun’s eyes were downcast.

Luhan sighed. “I’m not trying to reprimand you because what you did was wonderful… The smile on his face and how happy he is…” Luhan glanced to Baekhyun and said softly, “… But that’s not what a guardian angel is sent to do.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond.

“… Why did you do it in the first place? Especially when I know you were warned.”
In response, Baekhyun whispered, “I thought I was fighting off demons.”
Luhan turned to him and spoke slowly. “Pain is a demon.” Baekhyun glanced to him. “Loss is a demon. Struggle, heartache, sorrow… those are demons. Love… love is not, even if you perceive it to be-”

“Well then why?” Baekhyun wanted to shout. “Why is it holding me back, and why can’t I find happiness or why… why is love a demon to me? Why will love always be my demon?”

Luhan’s eyes strayed away from Baekhyun.

Baekhyun frowned and looked back to Chanyeol. “That’s why I don’t understand. I don’t understand demons, or I don’t understand love…” He paused. “This wasn’t even true love! This type of love could cause pain or suffering. Aren’t those demons? Shouldn’t I protect him from that?” Baekhyun brought his hands to his head. “Chanyeol didn’t even want Kris-”

“I know, but you’re not a matchmaker, Baekhyun!” Luhan quickly paused to compose himself as he noticed Baekhyun’s wide eyes, startled from his outburst. “And you know that. We both know that you did this because you didn’t want Chanyeol to suffer, but you also wanted him to notice you. To love you. What you did was directly against the twins’ orders anyways.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips and drew his knees up to his chest. “I’m supposed to listen to my heart because my eyes can deceive me, right? Well I don’t know what to believe anymore…”

“But you’re not supposed to let your own feelings corrupt your logic. Maybe Chanyeol was supposed to learn from this experience. Maybe Fate had something planned to do with the result of this. Rules are rules, and love is love, whether you disagree with it or not, so you have no right to mess with it or ruin it.” Baekhyun’s arms tightened around his legs as he hid his face in his knees. Luhan sighed. “So if love isn’t a demon, what were you fighting?”

Baekhyun paused before opting to answer. “… Fate.” Luhan blinked curiously as Baekhyun uncoiled himself from his position with a sigh. “Don’t you ever get an urge to fight the system? When there’s something you disagree with, don’t you want to make others understand?” A small smile graced his features. “Maybe that’s what love is. A system that no one understands. Maybe Fate, or Destiny, or even the matchmakers don’t understand. They just blindly do it.” Baekhyun closed his eyes. “Maybe that’s why sometimes I just can’t explain the crazy things I’d do or why I don’t care what I’ll lose for love.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Luhan’s lips before turning into a pout. “Love, huh?”

Baekhyun glanced upward and nodded slowly.

The other guardian glanced away. “I’m sorry, but I’m about to make you forget about your love.”

Baekhyun turned to look back down to Chanyeol. “It’s okay. Because I know he’ll be thinking about me until the day he dies too. And maybe just a bit after then.”

Luhan laughed softly. “I don’t think Fate realized what she was dealing with when she put you two together and when she tried to separate you.”

Jongdae watched them from afar before deciding to return home. While Baekhyun was busy watching Chanyeol for the last time, Jongdae had some unfinished business to take care of.

---------------

“Byun Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun glanced upward silently. He’d been waiting in dread for this moment.
Luhan and a tall woman stood across the waiting room, standing by an open door. 
Baekhyun glanced to Minseok, who gave him a pat on the back and a small comforting smile. Baekhyun stood slowly. His legs felt like lead as he dragged himself toward the open door.
The walk seemed to take forever.

Luhan and the woman ushered him into the stark white room with blinding white lights and led him toward a small white chair. Baekhyun sat down in the chair slowly, and the girl placed small electrodes on his temples and strapped him into the chair. Luhan stayed by the door with a frown on his face as the woman finished.

“Ready?”

Luhan raised his hand in protest as he walked toward Baekhyun.

He pulled two small pieces of paper out of his pocket and handed them to Baekhyun. Baekhyun glanced up. “I know I’m not a messenger,” Luhan started, “but I felt like it’d be the easiest for me to give them to you so… here.”

Baekhyun took both pieces of paper out of Luhan’s hands and opened the first one.
‘B
aekhyun-ssi,
This isn’t protocol, but I couldn’t help but write to you.
I understand why you’re in this situation, and I want you to know two things. First, I want to apologize. Perhaps it was an error on my and Fate’s part which forced you to keep your memories of the past life. Perhaps it was an unplanned gift. I have no authority to stop this punishment from happening to you. I fought with Fate about it, but it seems that it just has to be done. You know the rules - what Fate says stands.

Also, I want you to know that I understand where you’re coming from. You’re not alone in this. I’ve seen your relationship with Chanyeol blossom. It was beautiful and pure. It was one of the ones that I thought would be perfect. Too perfect. It was a mistake to allow your death to come too soon. It was a mistake that ruined something that shouldn’t have been tainted. I wanted Fate to fix it, but she had other plans.

I thought it was amazing to watch you interact with Chanyeol again after a year. I thought it was beautiful when you stood up for your friends. You were shouldering a burden that you knew you couldn’t carry alone. Your wings trembled as you held them out in front of us... I could see it. There are never happy endings for everyone. You probably know that better than anyone. I’m so proud of you for giving up everything for Chanyeol’s happiness. You’ve always had this sense of protecting everyone, haven’t you? You’ve been a guardian angel even before you became one. You have an unmatchable courage that I couldn’t help but want to protect.

When you spread your wings for us, all I saw was beauty, purity, and something irreplaceable. I don’t want to lose that.

Baekhyun-ssi, if I may, when this ordeal ends, can I offer you a position as my right hand guardian angel?

Your response needn’t be rushed. And by the way, that ring Chanyeol gave you is beautiful. You’re lucky Fate didn’t see it to take it away. I would have let you keep it anyway.

--  Destiny’

Baekhyun stared at the letter in silence before glancing down to the ring. He spun it around on his finger, feeling whole. It was as though Chanyeol was there right beside him to tell him that he didn’t need to worry because everything would be okay. With a deep breath, Baekhyun opened the other letter. It was colorful and definitely not formal. In fact, it wasn’t a letter at all. Notes were scribbled on each part of the page in different colors.

‘Baek, I’m going to kill you for taking our punishment like that. You’re the bestest best friend I could ever ask for, and I don’t ever want you to forget that! I love ya, Baek! And I’ll always be standing right by your side. I don’t want you to shoulder this alone.’ - Jongdae

‘Baek, you ought to know how proud of you that I am. You’re so amazing, and I love you to death. And I want to apologize again for ruining your chances with Chanyeol in life. This was all my fault, and I’m so sorry you don’t even know. Baekhyun, I’m always on your side. Nothing can stop that. Okay?’ - Minseok (Xiumin) ^_^

‘Baekhyun, fighting! Before you go, know that Chanyeol’s happier than I’ve ever seen him before. I think that’s truly remarkable. I’m proud of you, you little weirdo. I’ll miss working beside you.’ - Panda-face Tao

‘Baekhyun, we’re going to get through this together, okay? Don’t regret this now because everyone’s cheering for you.’ - Sehun

‘Baekkie, you’re my hero <3’ - Yixing

‘Baekhyun I tried. I’m sorry. I wanted to get you out of this so badly but you make it so damn hard sometimes. We’ll make it up to you. We’ll always be beside you. We’re your friends, Baek. Never forget that.’ - Luhan

Baekhyun didn’t look up.

“Baekhyun… Baek, look at me.” Baekhyun took a small breath before glancing upward, and Luhan sighed, frowning to him. “I like you. I really like you, and you’ve been through a lot of shit, so I don’t want to do this, but I have to.”

Baekhyun looked away. “I understand.”

Luhan furrowed his eyebrows together and whined, “Why are you so damn compliant? This is making it so much harder to punish you.”

Baekhyun looked up with a grimace on his face. “But even if I said something, it wouldn’t make a difference now, would it?” Luhan paused before he bit his lip and looked away.
Baekhyun sighed, glancing downward as he responded, “It’s just weird to think of how much time I put into him noticing me… All my efforts… wasted…” He looked back up to Luhan. “I don’t want to be compliant. I don’t want this to happen. I don’t want to forget Chanyeol, and I don’t want him to forget me.” His frown deepened as he sighed and finished, “But I did it, so I have to deal with it, and I know that…”

Baekhyun looked back down to the letters and muttered, “So then why is it so hard for me to cope with this? Why does it seem like everyone’s congratulating me for doing something so wrong…? Is what I did wrong? It felt so right when it happened, and I just can’t…”

Luhan glanced back to Baekhyun and answered, “Because you’re amazing, Baekhyun. Destiny loved you back when you were in the council room. She was fighting just as hard as I was. Everyone knows why you did it. Everyone was secretly pushing for you to do it, but we were all so afraid of the consequences. We all wanted you and Chanyeol to have your fairytale ending. Everyone’s proud of you for standing up to a system that we’ve all wanted to lash out against for you.” Luhan paused and whispered, “And I can’t stress enough how much I want you to feel like a hero for doing so. Do you understand that?”

Baekhyun looked up and nodded slowly.
Luhan sighed before frowning as he knelt down to Baekhyun’s height and softly kissed his forehead. “So please…” he mumbled as he drew away, “please don’t hate me for this.”

Baekhyun’s eyesight trailed to the floor and he replied with an unconfident half-smile, “I won’t remember it enough to anyways, right?”

Luhan turned away to hide his frown.

“Selective erasing in 3… 2… 1…….”