Editors, help...

[chanaleh]

This poor sentence is trapped in the wrong language. It is in Marketingspeak and needs to be in English. Can someone please help me translate it?

“Throughout the organization, efforts are being redeployed around member-focused initiatives.”("Members" = our customers. This line would be tolerable if it were a marketing-internal document, but it's

Comments

[chanaleh]

[CUE SOULFUL BRYAN ADAMS PIANO SOLO]

[chanaleh]

"Throughout the organization" doesn't bother me so much. For the rest, I am thinking something as simple as:
"we're investing our efforts in initiatives that focus on our members."

[kelkyag]

Just switching to "we are" instead of the passive helps a lot.

[laurion]

I think they meant redoubled instead of redeployed. Efforts aren't like troops.

"In every part of the company we're working harder to make sure we're focused on your needs. "

[awhyzip]

Efforts can be like troops, in that there is a maximum amount available.

You are probably right that they meant "redouble", but reading it as written "redeployed" the message I got was "We are cutting all initiatives that benefit only employees, staff, shareholders, community service, PR..."

[firstfrost]

Mix and match from some of these?
We're going through everything we do to make sure our focus is on the members.
We've created N new initiatives, each with a specific member-focused goal.
We've made sure that every new program in the past six months is directed towards improving the experience for the members.

[anonymous]

"We're doing stuff for our customers."

Or, more cynically: "We really want you to believe we're doing stuff for you. Really. Trust us. Please!"

Or, more realistically, just omit it. If the customers can't see that efforts are being redeployed around them without being told, then telling them so just reduces trust.

[chanaleh]

Ha. I think the second is more the approach they're going for. :-} but I definitely see the merits of the third contention.