Comments | championoftime: [Audio]

championoftime

[Audio]

Nov 17, 2011 18:30

[Public]

[Set to right after the explosion.] You- the ship! There's something happening to the ship.

[He's sounding panicked. About as panicked as he was when Frostmourne was on the loose.] The old girl! She's scared! I can hear it! I need to- Admiral! Take me back at once! Admiral please!

They're eating it alive!.

( Private to the Admiral )

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Private // Later stopthat_destro November 18 2011, 05:23:32 UTC

[Rex is somewhere with Capa. IDK WHERE, but it's post-takedown. And he sounds utterly miserable:]

I'm sorry.

Private // Later championoftime November 18 2011, 05:43:56 UTC

[Of all the things, of how upset he's been and what he's been through. Where does he go first?]

You were going to leave without saying anything? Not even a letter?

Private // Later stopthat_destro November 18 2011, 05:47:28 UTC

If I told you, you would have tried to stop me. [Which would've been a damn good thing.] I don't... handle goodbyes very well.

Private // Later championoftime November 18 2011, 05:50:14 UTC

Did you think it wouldn't hurt me if you didn't see it happen? That I wouldn't notice you were gone?

Private // Later stopthat_destro November 18 2011, 06:13:48 UTC

No, I thought... that. [He hesitates.] It would hurt less.

Private // Later championoftime November 18 2011, 06:20:27 UTC

It certainly doesn't hurt less for me. It never hurts less for me. It probably didn't for your sister, either, when she was without the man she loved and the brother she needed.

You can't expect people to go out of their way to do properly by you if you can't do as much for them. [He's so upset. But still...] You're not hurt, are you?

Private // Later stopthat_destro November 18 2011, 06:27:58 UTC

[YAY called out on his monstrous selfishness. He needed that.]

What would have happened if I'd told you, Doctor? Or if I'd... waved goodbye from the communicator?

[Pausing.] No. [He swallows.] I never wanted to hurt her. I wouldn't have done it if I'd known they could have... [Eaten, but he won't say that.] damaged her.

Private // Later championoftime November 18 2011, 06:35:25 UTC

You're supposed to be a scientist, Rex. You ought to know the TARDIS shares a number of properties in common with the Barge. She may have been able to resist floods and breaches, but docked to the ship as she is she's still invariably connected to it.

At the very least, very least, your passion to be rid of this place led you to ignore very basic scientific principles you should have looked in on. -And good-byes. They're not just parting. They're letting someone know that you actually meant something to them. That's why they're difficult. That's what they're about, telling someone that you care enough about them that you're not casting them aside and they're worth a spare fault.

Private // Later stopthat_destro November 18 2011, 07:17:31 UTC

Of course I know she's similar, but I assumed she had extra protections. She struck me as more durable than the Barge. I wouldn't have-- I didn't want to do anything to her! [Slightly hysterical on those last notes there, because he may be feeling guilty. For hurting the Doctor and scaring the TARDIS, not for accidentally killing everyone.]

...

You do mean something to me.

Private // Later championoftime November 18 2011, 07:31:16 UTC

I didn't think you wanted to. But that almost makes it worse, that you avoided considering it all. You watched a man walk away from both you and your sister without acknowledging what he did to you. If you're going to be better than him, be better than him. Don't pretend superior science that accomplishes precisely what he did makes a difference.

Private // Later stopthat_destro November 19 2011, 06:05:27 UTC

I just wanted my freedom!

Private // Later championoftime November 19 2011, 06:16:42 UTC

Of course you did! You just wanted your freedom.

You could have had it! You could have stopped revelling in other people's misery and stop simpering in your own. You could have realized people just died to save you. THEY DIED TO SAVE YOU REX!! No mind control. No nanomites. They didn't even know you well. But they knew what that woman was, they knew she was dangerous, and they died and you came out of it.

How did you show your appreciation? You tried destroyed their home and nearly killed them again.

I hope the price of freedom was worth it. Worth me and worth everyone that tried for you, even after you used them as cannon fodder. But I don't want to hear you whining over your victimization again when you keep casting aside everyone who made your life better.

Private // Later stopthat_destro November 19 2011, 06:31:18 UTC

What, you mean by graduating? [He laughs sharply.] No, I couldn't have! I don't hurt people, I've admitted that mind control is bad and I won't do it again, and I waste all my time in the infirmary, tending to people-- what more could the Admiral want?! Even this, I planned to execute in a way that wouldn't hurt anybody!

And you're deluded if you think those 'heroes' rushed in there for me. They didn't do it for me; they would've done it for anybody. Why should I assign some special, personal significance to that?

You don't understand. They made my life better while in captivity. They made it tolerable, for a prison. Friendship on the Barge is a salve, something nice, soothing, distracting, but not a cure. At the end of the day, with all my friends, I was still a prisoner.

Private // Later championoftime November 19 2011, 06:48:28 UTC

Shut up. Yes you could have. You wouldn't let it be an option. You think Narvin didn't care about your safety? You think he would have risked his literal neck for anyone? You tell yourself this derogatory filth and fill your head with negativity to make yourself okay with the things you do!

Was Frances worth discarding too? Do you think I'm not a prisoner? I have access to resources but I'm bound to this ship because I'm dead. I was considering going ahead and proceeding with my death because I wasn't sure I could assist anyone anymore. I appreciate the argument in favor of it. It'll make my decision easier. The last thing I want to do is contribute to the making of another Master.

Private // Later stopthat_destro November 19 2011, 07:05:32 UTC

[That hurts, but unfortunately, Rex responds to hurt by lashing out more.] You want to dangle your death over my head and then compare me to him? Fine! If I'm as bad as him, then you should've paid more attention to the story of the Farmer and the Viper.

You're telling me I should have chosen to remain in a cage, that trying to free myself is comparable to genocide.

Private // Later championoftime November 19 2011, 07:28:37 UTC

LOOK AROUND YOU! It is! We just have the joy of having to endure it, and we could have been bound here for eternity. And why not dangle my impending demise over your head. You're proclaiming your eternal misery at imprisonment. The same thing that Rassilon gloats he has exceptions on. You even admitted to harming people that did nothing to deserve it in the past, and then telling them that they did. Here you're doing worse! You hurt people without caring.

The consequences might have been accidental, but you didn't care what the results were anyway. You just wanted to be free. What about Iago, did he know? Narvin? Wanda? Amanda? Frances? Trip? Robert? Shego? Your sister? What about me. ...Not only do we not get good-byes. We're not even worth an afterthought to you.

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