[Audio]

[championoftime]

[Public]

My inmate seems to be missing.

[This is surprisingly light and curt. He's doing that thing that he does when he's unsure of where people have gone, or he feels left behind.]

He's still on my item, so I'm sure he'll be returning.

[He hopes he'll be returning....I never really thought about how sometimes I find myself measuring my age

Comments

[timesbureaucrat]

For a while I measured my political age in presidents. If I go by that reckoning, instead of by years, I think I'm the longest lasting Coordinator in Gallifreyan history.

[It's a useless sort of comment. It's Narvin's way of trying to be supportive and empathetic without actually saying or appearing so.]

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[timesbureaucrat]

[An expression of revelation crosses Narvin's face.] Flower petals on the bed. [And not coffee beans. Well. He won't make that mistake again. In a nanospan the Doctor gets Narvin total focus by mentioning that he has concerns that involve Brax and plots.]

Oh? [Narvin says as casually as he can.]

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[championoftime]

You recall I was livid when I realized Rassilon was under the impression he could leave whenever he wished. I mentioned to my brother that it was difficult to resist arranging insight. A part of it was my own guilt for having urged him to realize his relationship with Omega. I thought I might have promoted this prematurely.

But then, my brother's suggestion involved damaging Rassilon's mind. [He blinks hard. As if that was still boggling. He knew his brother was capable of things but it had been surprising at the time.]

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[timesbureaucrat]

Well, you have to admit that some judicious alteration would solve quite a few problems. And Braxiatel's done far worse to others who would be leaders of Gallifrey. Pandora...Darkel...

It's not practical, though. It wouldn't stick. And it would cause chaos. With Omega, with Rassilon's warden if he gets one.

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[championoftime]

It would just give him someone else to blame that's not him. [So angrily. He reaches across the counter and grabs a bottle and a glass, that pissy look just seared onto his face.]

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[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin raises one eyebrow at the statement and the vehemence with which is was spoken.]

Ah. So no one's yet convinced him that he could have chosen not to murder his fellow Gallifreyans, that he could have chosen to let true democracy decide Gallifrey's way? [There's an edge of tension in Narvin's voice, and frustration. There's still a small part of him that think in the voice of the hero-worshipping child he was in the Academy, "The Great Lord Rassilon isn't supposed to kill peaceful Gallifreyans for exercising their political rights."]

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[championoftime]

No. [He calmly fills up the glass.] He's still under the impression that love entitles him to inflict whatever discomfort he wishes on anything that maybe labelled a threat. [And instead of drinking that glass, he throws it against the far wall and gets another one to fill up.

Just as if that action had never happened.]

He even had the nerve to blame my next self for how he is now. I destroy his planet! Don't I have enough to live with without his insufferable madness and puerile rambling. [He takes a drink this time.]

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[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin's other eyebrow pops up to join the first as he watches the glass shatter.]

I used to blame you, the future you. I don't anymore. The line of cause and effect that leads to that moment is so long, and so many people are a part of it, pushing events towards that future... [Including Narvin himself. If he hadn't sided with Darkel and helped instigate a civil war who knows how different the future might have been.]

I'd rather focus my anger where it rightly belongs. On the Daleks. [Narvin pours himself a drink as well and takes a long gulp.]

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[championoftime]

Like I mentioned. If it hadn't been the Daleks, it would have been something else. [He takes a sip and stares hatefully over the rim of his glass.] It doesn't mean I'm any more fond of my role in any one of those destructions.

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[timesbureaucrat]

Yes, but hating the web of space and time is so unsatisfying. [By that he means that he can't fight it or blow it up or otherwise render it a non-threat by any typical CIA means. Which leaves him confused and frightened.]

Perhaps the Gallifrey I'm stuck on will be safe, barbaric and savage though it is. They never developed time travel.

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[championoftime]

I do hope so. [Offhandedly.]

I'm mostly ashamed of myself. I hate those choices, Narvin. They're terrible burdens to place on someone.

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[timesbureaucrat]

That's supposed to be the CIA's job--to do the unthinkable so other Gallifreyans don't have to. Unfortunately, do it too long and it becomes too easy. Atrocities happen.

Humans seem to help one keep a sense of perspective, though. I'd consider assigning one to every CIA operative, except I think I'd face an open revolt if I tried it. [A slight twitch to his lips is the only thing that indicates that the last sentence is (mostly) a joke.]

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[championoftime]

There likely would be. [He says with a slight twitch of his lips.] Did you ever meet my next self?

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[timesbureaucrat]

No, I never did. I heard quite a lot about him from my predecessor, though, just before his final mission. Coordinator Vansell considered him--all of you, really--quite the thorn in his side.

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[championoftime]

Unsurprisingly.

[He waits for a moment.]

...I've been considering... going through with it. I was here, chose to stay here, because I wanted more adventures as myself. I wasn't ready to become him yet. I died because of violence and carelessness.

But I'm hardly me anymore, I don't think. All the hate, all the anger, it's ruining me. [He finishes off his glass, inhales sharply, and looks into it.] I might be almost ready to make that leap.

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[timesbureaucrat]

[Narvin takes another deep gulp of his drink. This talk of regeneration makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't want to think too closely about it, though, or else he might come to the conclusion that he likes this Doctor and is distressed at the thought of him dying.]

Do you think your next self will be less angry? In my own experience, regeneration can bury things, but it doesn't make them go away.