Comments | chalion_ibra: April Flowers, prompt 18

shimotsuki in chalion_ibra

April Flowers, prompt 18 - "Lunge"

Apr 23, 2011 15:37

Title: Lunge (Thrust, Parry, Cut, part 7 of 7)
Author: shimotsuki
Rating & Warnings: PG-13, violence
Characters/Pairing: Martou dy Jironal, Cazaril
Prompt: #18, “No one's laughing at God / When they're saying their goodbyes” - Regina Spektor, Laughing With
Format & Word Count: Drabble | 100 words
Summary: Dy Jironal makes sure that he will never find Cazaril ( Read more... )

writer: shimotsuki, genre: general, genre: drama, challenge: april flowers

Comments 6

bookish_brownie April 24 2011, 16:47:27 UTC

Ooh, this is a nice end to your series. I love how Martou finally realizes what a threat Caz really is, but of course it's too late. Well done on all the drabbles.

shimotsuki May 1 2011, 03:29:24 UTC

Thanks so much. I had fun trying to keep to this structure all the way through.

gilpin25 April 24 2011, 18:31:58 UTC

This is one of those times it's very satisfying to know what happens next - perhaps it'll be of some brief satisfaction to dy Jironal that no one person does stop him. ;)

I've very much enjoyed your series (and admired the 100-word discipline), and this is a fitting end. It's a memorable description of Cazaril, helpless but still defiant; love that his challenge is really poisonous to dy Jironal at the last. It is indeed an ending for the right man.:D

shimotsuki May 1 2011, 03:36:13 UTC

What is honest truth to Caz is definitely poison to dy Jironal (not that he didn't being that upon himself). And one of my goals for this series was to hint at the gradual recovery of Caz's courage as he works past his terror and stays true to his integrity. Dy Jironal finally notices that, here...

I'm very glad and relieved you thought that this worked as an ending. I did experiment with writing dy Jironal's impressions of the death demon making off with his soul, but I couldn't get it to feel believable (heh), so I decided to go this way instead. It might not be quite as satisfying as to see dy Jironal get what he deserves, but I sort of liked the irony of his thoughts this way.

mrstater April 26 2011, 03:33:30 UTC

This time, no one could stop him.

Ah, that final, satisfying irony...

What a fantastic series this has been! Go you for pulling it off. It's been a deliciously evil ride. ;)

shimotsuki May 1 2011, 03:37:58 UTC

Oh, yay, I'm so glad you found that irony satisfying as an ending. I played around some with bringing in the death demon, but wasn't happy with what I came up with.

And thanks so much for the kind words. It may have been a little too much fun writing all this evil. ;)