April Flowers Prompt #13, All Too Much

[mrstater]

Title: All Too Much
Author: mrstater
Rating & Warnings: rated PG-13 for sexuality
Characters/ Pairing: Cazaril/Betriz
Prompt: #13, a story told through scenes in reverse chronological order
Format & Word Count: ficlet, 600 words
Summary: Being made Chancellor and becoming betrothed is a lot to happen to a man in one day. How does Cazaril cope?
Author’s

Comments

[luminare_ardua]

Well an extra scene would be welcome, but the story stands well enough alone as it is. Though a bit confused with what happened with Caz and Betriz... then again I'm running on fumes of 2 hours' sleep, so I'm probably slowed on the uptake today.

[mrstater]

Basically Caz got overwhelmed by all the honors being heaped upon him and needed to get alone before he lost emotional control in front of everyone, but Betriz misunderstood and thought he wanted to be alone with her. Caz tried to distract himself with sex, but that, too, proved too much for his emotional state and he sent her away before he humiliated himself by breaking down weeping in front of her. She was not happy about this.

Glad you felt the story stood as was, though. Thanks for reading and commenting.

[shimotsuki]

Oh, I'm so glad someone tried this prompt! I've seen a few stories written this way, and thought it was a really interesting idea. Not that I've managed to try it myself, heh. (The month isn't over, though...)

This piece really captures what must have been a very overwhelming evening for Caz, indeed. And I liked the way you built the suspense with the reverse chronology, so that we don't really know what went wrong for a while, but it gradually becomes clearer.

It hurts to think that Iselle's kindness, and Betriz's attentions, would have overwhelmed Caz in this way, but they might well have done just that, given all he's been through.

[mrstater]

I've only seen movies or TV episodes in reverse, so I wasn't entirely sure how a fic would work! The challenge was too intriguing to pass up, and I hope some more people try it before the event's over, although I'm sure they'll put this attempt to shame.

Though I'm very glad you think this works here! Poor Caz has gotten over a lot, but I think it's pretty obvious by the end of the book that he's rather emotionally fragile again, in a good way, so I didn't think it would be too much of a leap for the ultimate good fortune to bring him to his knees, so to speak.

Thank you for reading and commenting and putting some of my anxiety about this piece to rest!

[gilpin25]

Ooh, I knew you wouldn't resist this challenge!:D I've never attempted one of these myself, but I think you're right that getting a well-paced mystery of some sort in there is essential. This reads very well as a whydunnit: we find out what's happened in the middle section but not exactly why until the first one. Throughout the book it's gestures and words of kindness that Caz struggles to cope with so I can imagine that an over-emotional day might prove too much.

How can she consider me a boon, when she is the Daughter's greatest and most undeserved blessing to me?

I can certainly hear him saying that line to himself! Poor Caz.

[mrstater]

Ooh, I knew you wouldn't resist this challenge!

I think the main challenge I can't resist is attempting to write for every prompt! I'm so close! I think this one will prove the most difficult...And I'm very pleased you think I've managed to make it work as a whydunnit--a term that I really love! (Have I created a new genre?) And of course very relieved you don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility that Caz might have a meltdown after all of this.

Thanks very much for reading and taking the time to leave such thoughtful comments. :)

[bookish_brownie]

This is a very nice use of the prompt. I really feel for both Caz and Betriz here. It seems resonable that poor Caz would feel overwhelmed by all these changes in his fortunes so soon after recovering from his injuries. I also like your use of the words "too much" throughout the piece because they are very appropriate.

ETA: I would like to see a scene of their reconciliation, though.

[mrstater]

Thanks very much! I'm relieved you think the scenario is plausible! I know, I'm really conflicted about thereconciliation scene, but I can't think how to do it without giving away what the problem was right at the start!