As you may have read on your flist some guy was randomly stabbed and beheaded while travelling on a Greyhound bus. It's shocking, horrible, tragic and many other strong words
( Read more... )
AIE. The 'better place' thing is ALWAYS ALWAYS going to be patronizing and, worst of all, dismissing. Like "Hey, he's in a better place! Why are you STILL so heavy about this, months later??"
When my best friend had a miscarriage, she heard a LOT of that. "Your baby is in a better place," (which was awful, so it's better for the baby to be ELSEWHERE than with her??) and "Your baby is with GOD."
Basically, I think death is for the living. You cannot know what happens after death or be able to really SAY, unconditionally, that after death the spirit is somewhere 'better' or 'good'. All you can do is be there for the living as they suffer loss, and be as useful and attentive as possible.
Anyway, people are so stupid about death! I don't get it, because we ALL die! So we're all going to know people who have died or die ourselves. I don't get how we can all have this common experience yet suck so bad at relating to each other.
fuck yeah. there is something so horrible about telling people that their loved ones are better off somewhere than with them - even if it's supposed to be with a higer being in a place of peace, yadda yadda ... love means you want to have your loved ones closed to you. it's actually the reason why my mother "quit" religion. she was at sunday school once (catholic) and the priest was ranting about the afterlife, and telling the kids that they shouldn't be sad when their parents die, because they'll be sitting right next to Jesus, and seriously, what more could someone possibly want ? I don't mean to be insulting to anyone with strong christian beliefs in here, I am just saying, when you are a kid, and your parents die, this is possibly the most traumatizing thing ever, and I don't think that telling them it's ok because they're better off where they are (implying that regardless of the fact they're leaving you lonely, hopeless, without support and possibly without care, it's a good thing) is going to make them feel any better
( ... )
haha, I actually have strong christian beliefs! But I think a lot of churches are based on very trauma-inducing, shame-inducing shit that has less to do with God and more to do with bad interpretation and power. What that priest said was APPALLING. Especially because children go through a very important, incredibly life-changing stage, when they realize their parents are mortal and have to learn to deal with that. Telling them not to be SAD is like, negating that ENTIRE experience
( ... )
I agree completely. The 'u' is so tacky. Especially when it's something as serious as that. I don't mind it in ims or text but this is just being lazy. Though I know there's people in this world that don't see the big deal with it. I'm not even gonna start on the religious aspect of the post because I could go on all day about that.
saying he's "in a better place" is a judgement passed on someone's own personal, individual belief system and should not be transmitted to someone else - especially in a period of grief during which no matter what your faith tells, you still love, miss the person and wish there were there with you. because it's human. granted, someone do seem to think that this "better place" thing helps the healing, but the man was stabbed and beheaded randomly on a bus, i think the healing will take quite some time.
Comments 29
Also, I've rode Greyhound before, and it sucks ass even more now than it did when I was a kid.
Reply
Reply
When my best friend had a miscarriage, she heard a LOT of that. "Your baby is in a better place," (which was awful, so it's better for the baby to be ELSEWHERE than with her??) and "Your baby is with GOD."
Basically, I think death is for the living. You cannot know what happens after death or be able to really SAY, unconditionally, that after death the spirit is somewhere 'better' or 'good'. All you can do is be there for the living as they suffer loss, and be as useful and attentive as possible.
Anyway, people are so stupid about death! I don't get it, because we ALL die! So we're all going to know people who have died or die ourselves. I don't get how we can all have this common experience yet suck so bad at relating to each other.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
saying he's "in a better place" is a judgement passed on someone's own personal, individual belief system and should not be transmitted to someone else - especially in a period of grief during which no matter what your faith tells, you still love, miss the person and wish there were there with you. because it's human. granted, someone do seem to think that this "better place" thing helps the healing, but the man was stabbed and beheaded randomly on a bus, i think the healing will take quite some time.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment