Fairy Tale, er, Grading Hell Theater
Okay, so I lied. I'm behind in my grading.
Grading Hell Theater will be a little different today, for today, Grading Hell Theater becomes Fairy Tale Theater.
You see, at 5AM, in between waking up and realizing I could sleep for another hour, I found myself pondering a book of fairy tales that would sort of mix things up, gender-wise. Not all stories: the idea is to get diversity, so you'd leave some the way they were. But maybe have the miller's youngest daughter set out on a quest, and along the way teach the prince to laugh. Or a male version of Snow White who still gets kissed by a prince (although I'm having trouble keeping that one from falling into camp, which is really completely not the idea). The key is, it would be aimed at kids (because such things exist, of course, but they're mostly aimed at adults). Also, it would have racial and ethnic diversity in the illustrations.
In thinking about it, though, one story kept crystalizing, based ironically on what is perhaps my least favorite of the popular fairy tales.
The king and queen decide to throw a ball for the princess, who has been stubbornly refusing all the suitable princes and noblemen they introduce her to. They point out that she's the heir to the kingdom (special bonus points if she has a younger brother, and yes, that's a fuck you to Horton Hears a Who - the movie, not the book), and really, she needs to at least think about getting married. She sighs and agrees, but doesn't look happy about it.
When the word goes out, Cinderella, who is working long hours at the family shop under the direction of her stepmother, wistfully expresses a wish to go. Her stepbrothers (who are not really ugly, but bossy and lazy and petty) laugh at her, because, duh, it's for the princess, which means they're looking for a prince. Stupid.
The rest goes as you might expect: stepbrothers go off to the ball, Cinderella stays at home, fairy godmother, etc (although please, no mice). I'd love to have Cinderella's grand entrence and dance with the princess, but I think instead that she sort of stays on the sidelines (people assume she is there with a brother).
At some point, the princess sneaks off to get a moment to herself, and she and Cinderella meet in a little alcove, on a balcony, pick your location. They talk, and laugh a bit, then dance, and share one kiss before the clock strike midnight. Cinderella runs home, leaving the shoe, you know the routine.
The next day, the king and queen ask the princess if there was anyone at the ball she particularly liked. She hedges a bit, then finally blurts out, "the girl in the green dress." Or something similar.
The king and queen look at each other for a moment, then ask the princess if she's sure this girl is the one. The princess nods, and the king says, "All right, then. How do we find her?"
You know how the rest of the story goes. Searching, shoe fitting, etc. Eventually, the princess and Cinderella are married, and live happily ever after. The stepbrothers get to run the shop.
The End.
So, if you are so inclined, re-cast a fairy tale however it pleases you.
Grading Hell Theater will be a little different today, for today, Grading Hell Theater becomes Fairy Tale Theater.
You see, at 5AM, in between waking up and realizing I could sleep for another hour, I found myself pondering a book of fairy tales that would sort of mix things up, gender-wise. Not all stories: the idea is to get diversity, so you'd leave some the way they were. But maybe have the miller's youngest daughter set out on a quest, and along the way teach the prince to laugh. Or a male version of Snow White who still gets kissed by a prince (although I'm having trouble keeping that one from falling into camp, which is really completely not the idea). The key is, it would be aimed at kids (because such things exist, of course, but they're mostly aimed at adults). Also, it would have racial and ethnic diversity in the illustrations.
In thinking about it, though, one story kept crystalizing, based ironically on what is perhaps my least favorite of the popular fairy tales.
The king and queen decide to throw a ball for the princess, who has been stubbornly refusing all the suitable princes and noblemen they introduce her to. They point out that she's the heir to the kingdom (special bonus points if she has a younger brother, and yes, that's a fuck you to Horton Hears a Who - the movie, not the book), and really, she needs to at least think about getting married. She sighs and agrees, but doesn't look happy about it.
When the word goes out, Cinderella, who is working long hours at the family shop under the direction of her stepmother, wistfully expresses a wish to go. Her stepbrothers (who are not really ugly, but bossy and lazy and petty) laugh at her, because, duh, it's for the princess, which means they're looking for a prince. Stupid.
The rest goes as you might expect: stepbrothers go off to the ball, Cinderella stays at home, fairy godmother, etc (although please, no mice). I'd love to have Cinderella's grand entrence and dance with the princess, but I think instead that she sort of stays on the sidelines (people assume she is there with a brother).
At some point, the princess sneaks off to get a moment to herself, and she and Cinderella meet in a little alcove, on a balcony, pick your location. They talk, and laugh a bit, then dance, and share one kiss before the clock strike midnight. Cinderella runs home, leaving the shoe, you know the routine.
The next day, the king and queen ask the princess if there was anyone at the ball she particularly liked. She hedges a bit, then finally blurts out, "the girl in the green dress." Or something similar.
The king and queen look at each other for a moment, then ask the princess if she's sure this girl is the one. The princess nods, and the king says, "All right, then. How do we find her?"
You know how the rest of the story goes. Searching, shoe fitting, etc. Eventually, the princess and Cinderella are married, and live happily ever after. The stepbrothers get to run the shop.
The End.
So, if you are so inclined, re-cast a fairy tale however it pleases you.