jeremiah_fic #050 - Dark

[cerebel]

It’s dark.

Dark, and stuffy. Markus coughs, spits grime, reaches up a hand to wipe his mouth - but the hand is gritty, dirty, covered in dust.

Markus shifts, presses a palm against the wall. Rough, irregular surface - oh, oh god. It’s the cave, the cave with the ammunition storage. And now it’s collapsed, and he’s trapped, he’s trapped

Comments

[mars_native]

This is really interesting. I love how you explore the different aspects of Markus' personality, his duties, his insecurities, through the people that have defined his life. And I like the ambiguity over whether it was really God or not talking to Markus in that cave.

[cerebel]

Thank you! The show occasionally tries for the same ambiguity, over whether God is really active in the world or not, and that's what I was trying for. I'm glad you liked :)

[belleferret]

Oh Cerebel, this is exciting and scary and wonderful! I love how each of the people in his life visit him and urge him on in different ways. Poor Markus, like Smith, he is a lonely man carrying huge burdens.

[cerebel]

Thank you! I was trying to keep all the visitors in character, show them the way Markus saw them. I'm glad you liked :)

[goodbyemyfancy]

O this was a very interestnig way to convey Markus and how he feels about his friends as well as himself. A hearty WELL DONE!

[cerebel]

Thank you! I'm glad you liked ^_^

[ex_lbilover]

This is truly, truly excellent. All of the characters were so perfectly drawn that I could see and hear them clearly. Thank you!

[cerebel]

You're welcome :P I'm glad you liked!

[cookiefleck]

Great idea for a story and very well done! Thanks!

[cerebel]

You're very welcome ^_^