Settle the Score (5/?)
Title: Settle the Score (5/?)
Author: cellochick92
Rating: Maybe R?
Word Count: 1334
Warning: Indirect account/discussion of abuse.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine =(
Summary: For xrainingsorrowx ’s prompt over at the rq_angst meme. “Quinn abused Rachel for so long, so she feels it's okay if Rachel returns the favor.”
A/N: Stupid need for character reflection and internal dialogue. It kills my soul, so I apologize if that's not your cup of tea either.
______________________________________
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four
“It’s going to be ok now, Q, I promise.”
The murmured words fell over and over from Rachel’s lips as she laid in bed with the sleeping blonde, a new mantra to mold her life around. Glancing down at the dozing girl, the brunette grimaced at the purple and blue bruises adorning her features. A soft whimper escaped into the silence, and Rachel felt her heart break just a little bit more with the sound.
Wrapping her arms around the blonde just a bit more tightly, she nestled her face in soft golden locks, whispering soothing words to the distressed girl. Quinn seemed to calm at her touch, and as she fell back into a peaceful sleep, Rachel felt the onset of more tears.
She had spent the better part of the night crying her eyes out over the consequences of her actions, but she couldn't seem to stop running through everything that had happened since she had stepped inside.
*************
“Quinn?”
Her voice seemed to echo in the apparently empty house, and she felt a worried tug in the pit of her stomach. She climbed the stairs slowly, hoping against hope that Quinn was just asleep.
Stepping into the blonde’s room, she called out for her again, and jumped when she heard a weak voice call, “Rachel?” The voice was coming from Quinn’s bathroom, and Rachel nudged the door open.
The second she saw Quinn curled up on the bathroom floor, a wave of nausea pounded through her, and she barely made it to the toilet in time. When her stomach was emptied, she leaned back against the tub, just staring at Quinn. The blonde was looking at her worriedly, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, and Rachel felt a pang of guilt.
Crawling over to her, she gently murmured, “Are you ok?”
Quinn shook her head, whimpering, “Everything hurts, Rach.” The look on the blonde’s face made Rachel feel like throwing up all over again, but she forced the feeling down. She couldn’t help Quinn if she was too preoccupied with her own feelings of guilt.
“Do you want to go back to bed?”
Quinn nodded at her question, and Rachel slowly moved closer. Slowly, carefully, she slid an arm behind the blonde, helping her to sit up. When Quinn tried to stand, however, her legs gave out and Rachel barely managed to catch her. Taking her time and trying not to hurt Quinn, Rachel helped her to the bed. The blonde fell back on the bed, breathing shallowly, trying to catch her breath.
When she finally opened her eyes she looked over at Rachel. She didn’t know why the brunette was here instead of at school, but then, she didn’t think she had ever seen the diva actually concerned about her before either. Painfully scooting over on the bed, she asked softly, “Hold me?”
Rachel nodded and slipped into the bed next to her, and Quinn exhaled as she felt arms gently encircling her. She didn’t know where all of this was coming from, but she knew that she had never seen the brunette like this before. There was something…different. Somehow, something had changed in the last 24 hours.
As she felt Rachel press a tender kiss to the side of her head, Quinn exhaled deeply, sinking into the other girl’s embrace. Mentally crossing her fingers, she prayed that her nightmares would stay away long enough for her to get at least a few minutes of peaceful sleep, so she could pretend that things with Rachel were going to stay better forever.
*****************
Rachel bit back a sob at how Quinn had clung to her like she was some sort of savior. She could still taste the bitter bile in her mouth from her first glance of what she had done- and god, it had been awful.
Even more terrible than the physical consequences, however, was the way Quinn had looked at her with those broken hazel eyes. It was obvious that she was shocked to see the brunette, which was bad enough, but the hesitance somehow made it even worse.
It had been glaringly obvious that Quinn didn’t believe it was going to last- she had murmured something in her sleep about how she wished she could just pretend it would stay better this time, and it had broken Rachel’s heart just a little bit more. She hated that she was the one to inspire such doubt in the blonde. She knew that it was her own fault for promising change and then never delivering god only knew how many times, but still…
The light coming in through the curtains was beginning to fade, and Rachel realized for what had to be the millionth time just what a horrible person she was. Normally, people would be coming home right now, maybe fixing dinner and talking about how their days had been. Instead, Quinn was left with an empty house, alone save for the girl who, until that morning, had been slowly killing her.
There wasn’t anyone to look out for Quinn, but as Rachel felt the girl cuddle closer to her, she silently thanked her lucky stars that she could at least work on fixing this without having to worry about a parent barging in. The freedom was both comforting and terrifying, because Rachel had, for the first time, begun to comprehend the true scope of her actions.
If she broke Quinn, there wouldn’t be anyone there to help pick up the pieces and put her back together. She was, ironically, the closest human connection Quinn had, and the thought that she was the blonde’s lifeline pained her. She didn’t want to screw things up any more than she already had, but she certainly couldn’t just leave Quinn to her own devices.
Nuzzling into Quinn’s hair and inhaling the sweet scent, Rachel thought about what she was going to do. She knew that she needed counseling, and that Quinn would need it too. She knew that she wasn’t going to be leaving Quinn’s side in the near future, and she knew that she was going to nurse the blonde back to health no matter how long it took.
Beyond those few things, however, she found herself at a startling impasse. She had no clue how to begin making things better with Quinn. Whereas she had been the one initially experiencing the terror of waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under her, now that was Quinn’s daily life. No matter what she did, there would always be a small undercurrent of concern that it was nothing more than another tactic. No matter what she did, there would always be a little bit of fear.
Looking down at the girl in her arms, Rachel shook her head, appalled at her own actions. She never, ever wanted Quinn to fear her again, and she didn’t care how long it took. She was going to keep trying until one day, maybe, things would be better. Without all of the yelling, without all of the push-pull tactics, and without all of the tears. Without all of the pain.
Quinn had suffered more than enough, and Rachel hesitantly admitted that she had played a far larger role in that suffering than she would have liked. Leaning down, she tentatively pressed a soft kiss to Quinn’s cheek before exhaling and pulling the girl closer. She would talk with Quinn when she woke up, but for the moment she found her eyelids drooping with every disappearing sunbeam.
Letting her eyes slip closed she prayed for the bliss of dreamlessness, waiting for the comforting darkness of sleep to overwhelm her.
Part Six
Author: cellochick92
Rating: Maybe R?
Word Count: 1334
Warning: Indirect account/discussion of abuse.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine =(
Summary: For xrainingsorrowx ’s prompt over at the rq_angst meme. “Quinn abused Rachel for so long, so she feels it's okay if Rachel returns the favor.”
A/N: Stupid need for character reflection and internal dialogue. It kills my soul, so I apologize if that's not your cup of tea either.
______________________________________
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four
“It’s going to be ok now, Q, I promise.”
The murmured words fell over and over from Rachel’s lips as she laid in bed with the sleeping blonde, a new mantra to mold her life around. Glancing down at the dozing girl, the brunette grimaced at the purple and blue bruises adorning her features. A soft whimper escaped into the silence, and Rachel felt her heart break just a little bit more with the sound.
Wrapping her arms around the blonde just a bit more tightly, she nestled her face in soft golden locks, whispering soothing words to the distressed girl. Quinn seemed to calm at her touch, and as she fell back into a peaceful sleep, Rachel felt the onset of more tears.
She had spent the better part of the night crying her eyes out over the consequences of her actions, but she couldn't seem to stop running through everything that had happened since she had stepped inside.
*************
“Quinn?”
Her voice seemed to echo in the apparently empty house, and she felt a worried tug in the pit of her stomach. She climbed the stairs slowly, hoping against hope that Quinn was just asleep.
Stepping into the blonde’s room, she called out for her again, and jumped when she heard a weak voice call, “Rachel?” The voice was coming from Quinn’s bathroom, and Rachel nudged the door open.
The second she saw Quinn curled up on the bathroom floor, a wave of nausea pounded through her, and she barely made it to the toilet in time. When her stomach was emptied, she leaned back against the tub, just staring at Quinn. The blonde was looking at her worriedly, her bottom lip caught between her teeth, and Rachel felt a pang of guilt.
Crawling over to her, she gently murmured, “Are you ok?”
Quinn shook her head, whimpering, “Everything hurts, Rach.” The look on the blonde’s face made Rachel feel like throwing up all over again, but she forced the feeling down. She couldn’t help Quinn if she was too preoccupied with her own feelings of guilt.
“Do you want to go back to bed?”
Quinn nodded at her question, and Rachel slowly moved closer. Slowly, carefully, she slid an arm behind the blonde, helping her to sit up. When Quinn tried to stand, however, her legs gave out and Rachel barely managed to catch her. Taking her time and trying not to hurt Quinn, Rachel helped her to the bed. The blonde fell back on the bed, breathing shallowly, trying to catch her breath.
When she finally opened her eyes she looked over at Rachel. She didn’t know why the brunette was here instead of at school, but then, she didn’t think she had ever seen the diva actually concerned about her before either. Painfully scooting over on the bed, she asked softly, “Hold me?”
Rachel nodded and slipped into the bed next to her, and Quinn exhaled as she felt arms gently encircling her. She didn’t know where all of this was coming from, but she knew that she had never seen the brunette like this before. There was something…different. Somehow, something had changed in the last 24 hours.
As she felt Rachel press a tender kiss to the side of her head, Quinn exhaled deeply, sinking into the other girl’s embrace. Mentally crossing her fingers, she prayed that her nightmares would stay away long enough for her to get at least a few minutes of peaceful sleep, so she could pretend that things with Rachel were going to stay better forever.
*****************
Rachel bit back a sob at how Quinn had clung to her like she was some sort of savior. She could still taste the bitter bile in her mouth from her first glance of what she had done- and god, it had been awful.
Even more terrible than the physical consequences, however, was the way Quinn had looked at her with those broken hazel eyes. It was obvious that she was shocked to see the brunette, which was bad enough, but the hesitance somehow made it even worse.
It had been glaringly obvious that Quinn didn’t believe it was going to last- she had murmured something in her sleep about how she wished she could just pretend it would stay better this time, and it had broken Rachel’s heart just a little bit more. She hated that she was the one to inspire such doubt in the blonde. She knew that it was her own fault for promising change and then never delivering god only knew how many times, but still…
The light coming in through the curtains was beginning to fade, and Rachel realized for what had to be the millionth time just what a horrible person she was. Normally, people would be coming home right now, maybe fixing dinner and talking about how their days had been. Instead, Quinn was left with an empty house, alone save for the girl who, until that morning, had been slowly killing her.
There wasn’t anyone to look out for Quinn, but as Rachel felt the girl cuddle closer to her, she silently thanked her lucky stars that she could at least work on fixing this without having to worry about a parent barging in. The freedom was both comforting and terrifying, because Rachel had, for the first time, begun to comprehend the true scope of her actions.
If she broke Quinn, there wouldn’t be anyone there to help pick up the pieces and put her back together. She was, ironically, the closest human connection Quinn had, and the thought that she was the blonde’s lifeline pained her. She didn’t want to screw things up any more than she already had, but she certainly couldn’t just leave Quinn to her own devices.
Nuzzling into Quinn’s hair and inhaling the sweet scent, Rachel thought about what she was going to do. She knew that she needed counseling, and that Quinn would need it too. She knew that she wasn’t going to be leaving Quinn’s side in the near future, and she knew that she was going to nurse the blonde back to health no matter how long it took.
Beyond those few things, however, she found herself at a startling impasse. She had no clue how to begin making things better with Quinn. Whereas she had been the one initially experiencing the terror of waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under her, now that was Quinn’s daily life. No matter what she did, there would always be a small undercurrent of concern that it was nothing more than another tactic. No matter what she did, there would always be a little bit of fear.
Looking down at the girl in her arms, Rachel shook her head, appalled at her own actions. She never, ever wanted Quinn to fear her again, and she didn’t care how long it took. She was going to keep trying until one day, maybe, things would be better. Without all of the yelling, without all of the push-pull tactics, and without all of the tears. Without all of the pain.
Quinn had suffered more than enough, and Rachel hesitantly admitted that she had played a far larger role in that suffering than she would have liked. Leaning down, she tentatively pressed a soft kiss to Quinn’s cheek before exhaling and pulling the girl closer. She would talk with Quinn when she woke up, but for the moment she found her eyelids drooping with every disappearing sunbeam.
Letting her eyes slip closed she prayed for the bliss of dreamlessness, waiting for the comforting darkness of sleep to overwhelm her.
Part Six