Fic: Comfort - Ianto/Jack - NC17 - Torchwood - Part: 4/?
Title: Comfort
Part: 4/?
Author: Celebrian.
Web page: @ LJ http://www.livejournal.com/users/celebrian_lotr/
&
@ IJ http://users.insanejournal.com/_bad_wolf/
Pairing: Ianto/ Jack
Rating: R (in general, this chapter probably PG15)
Summary: What happens after sleeping with the boss.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: Angst - Spoilers for Small Worlds, Countrycide if you didn´t see it and eventually probably S1 in general-
Author’s notes: WIP. And for the record, I suck at summaries, sorry about that.
Part Five coming up, hopefully sometime during next week. SORRY it took this long to update the story. Lots of things happening all together. For those who are still interested in it, I´ve written up till chapter seven… so yes, more coming up, sooner or later ;)
Feedback: Is addictive and encouraging ;-)
Thanks to Beta xibalba who is a saint and reads stories about a fandom she’s only heard me rambling about and ru_salki99 and plotbunniesinc Any remaining mistakes, all my fault.
Ianto was the first one to arrive, he noticed Jack gathering the last things from his office while the rest of the team started to make it in too. Gwen was looking utterly sleepy whilst Owen was looking utterly annoyed. Tosh, as predicted the day before, started packing her equipment and making sure everything she needed would be at hand.
Ianto busied himself helping her out while hearing Owen going on and on about how they were losing their time while Gwen headed to meet with Jack in his office.
Ianto didn´t know why, but he couldn´t help but watching from the corner of his eye as they talked.
* * * * *
“Jack,” Gwen asked while looking at her boss with big expectant eyes. “Why did you put Ianto in this situation?” She asked, resting a hand on his desk.
“I wanted to know what he thought about this,” Jack said simply, looking up at Gwen and hoping she wouldn´t push the matter any further, but then again, she was Gwen. She always pushed it further to try find out more and more- sometimes Jack thought her own stubbornness would be the death of her.
“You put the responsibility on him, you´re making him come with us… He rarely ever leaves the hub. Unless it’s to buy food or supplies,” She pointed out seriously. “What if something happened? He could get hurt, or die- he could-“ She frowned a little and sighed softly. “He could be a liability for the rest of us.”
Jack prevented himself from snorting and smiled at Gwen patiently, or as patiently as he could manage. It was actually handy he was good at pretending most the time. “He'll be alright, and he's not a liability. Plus, he could make good use of the country air, we all could.” He assured her with a dashing grin before wrapping his arm along Gwen´s shoulders to lead her downstairs to where everyone was.
He had been the one to hire Ianto; he knew what the man was capable of. Was Jack the only one that still remembered Ianto had been the one to keep a Cyberwoman in their basement? And kept it running for God knows how long?
He might be the most selfless one of them all, but that didn´t make the man an idiot. On the contrary, Jack was only starting to grasp how intelligent he was. IQ asides, because he knew the IQ of each one of his team members, he needed to know who he worked with.
Looking at Ianto for a couple seconds when no one was noticing, he hoped, he deeply hoped this would make him see that he was as much part of the team as everyone else. Jack actually regretted not having done this before, somehow Jack himself was the one to have put Ianto where he was now.
The ´tea boy´ as Owen called him. He had allowed this, it was time it changed. If Ianto needed a nudge that would help him find himself, then Jack was more than willing to give it to him.
Not him, nor anyone else in that place was in the position to keep on mourning for long, they either moved or they were removed.
Jack was more than determined to keep him though, not because of what he was starting to discover he felt around him, he wasn't going to deny it, he did want to have the young man close, he wanted him for him- But that wasn´t it. Ianto was a very important asset for Torchwood. If it weren’t for him they would have being exposed long ago.
He cleaned up all the messes they caused and Jack was sure there was no one better than him for this kind of job. He wasn´t going to lose him. He was going to make him see just how valuable a part of the team he was.
Ianto belonged there, with them. He needed to see he was part of it all despite of the recent events in his life.
* * * * *
Ianto noticed Owen taking the front seat as Jack stated he was driving. Ianto offered to sit in the middle so Gwen and Tosh would be more comfortable, and that way, they started their trip to the countryside.
Ianto was half wondering why he was going out on what could be called a field trip but he was guessing Jack was relying on him to clean any possible mess they caused and kept them all as comfortable as possible whilst they stayed away.
Mid way Owen started to complain about the smell only for Gwen to point that that disgusting smell was actually grass.
Ianto was more than glad when they decided to make a strategic stop to get some food in one of the roadside burger vans because he needed to stretch his legs after sitting in the same position for hours and after asking who wanted something to eat he went to order burgers for them all minus Tosh.
He walked a little bit as he waited for them to prepare them while looking around the place. It was actually quite pleasant to leave the hub for a while; it was quite nice out there.
While Jack, Gwen and Tosh went through a map of the area resting on the bonnet of the SUV discussing what would be the best thing to do now that they were in the actual place where the disappearances had occurred. Ianto completely missed the way Jack looked his way for a couple seconds before he moved to hand Owen his burger.
“Careful, they´re hot.” He warned them and handed Jack his before Gwen followed. “Sure you don´t want anything Tosh?” He asked, just before he was going to give his burger a bite when Tosh made a remark about one of her friends catching Hepatitis. That caused Jack to leave the burger on the hood of the car as Ianto himself and Gwen gave it a bite.
Thinking it over it was rather amusing, Jack, the one who couldn´t die, not wanting to eat the burger while the rest went ahead nevertheless.
Studying the map while hearing the Captain talking about their next move Ianto practically rolled his eyes as Owen found another thing to complain about. Not a surprise - he didn´t find camping to be an exciting idea though.
Getting closer to the spot where the last victim had disappeared they unloaded the things from the SUV and started pitching the tents. A sudden thought came to Ianto´s mind whilst thinking about sharing the tent with Jack, but then he recalled Owen would be there too.
This also caused him to think about his own reaction: Why was he even considering the fact of possibly sharing a sleeping place with Jack when Ianto had determinedly made up his mind in pretending nothing of the previous days events happened?
Shrugging it off, he focused in pitching the tent he was working on before assuring Owen there were no pieces missing. Of course there were no pieces missing, Ianto had checked. Twice.
Gwen had the brilliant idea of cheering everyone up by asking who was the last person they had snogged and Ianto once again focused on the banal activity of getting a bench to the picnic table they had sat in the middle of the camp area.
Now he couldn´t help glancing up at Jack in the SUV checking some sort of map for a second before looking down at his hands until Owen admitted the last person he´d kissed had been Gwen.
Ianto felt like snorting at that, he wasn´t at all surprised, even though Tosh seemed to be quite upset about it. Now there was something Ianto hadn´t really noticed before and he rarely missed these things. She liked him- it was obvious now, he could read it in her eyes.
Soon Owen cut up with the awkward moment, decided to ask Jack who the last person he´d kissed was and Ianto decided it was best to just stare at his hands, it was the safest move, he couldn´t do a thing, he couldn´t say a thing, he didn´t want Jack to say it out loud. But then what if he did?
Much to Ianto´s relief Jack got out of the mess with a witty joke that left him last to answer the silly question Gwen had asked to all of them. “Is my turn isn´t it?” He asked glancing up, considering it to be best to be over with it as soon as possible. “It was Lisa,” he said looking for a second at Gwen before staring back at his hands, now able to look Jack´s way.
What was he supposed to say though? It was Jack? We snogged more than once and did much more than that? And now I'm battling with myself as to why I pushed him away the way I did?
Was he starting to regret it? Was he regretting pushing Jack away the way he did?
Sighing softly he shook the idea from his mind and focused on what mattered, Lisa. He missed Lisa, the rest had been a mistake. Clear and simple. A huge mistake.
“Ianto, I´m sorry,” Gwen said, and Ianto smiled bitterly to himself.
“Sorry she´s dead? Or sorry you mentioned it?”
“I just didn´t think,” Gwen added with obvious remorse on her voice.
“You forgot.” was all Ianto had to reply whilst smiling wryly to himself before he resumed his task of staring at his hands.
An awkward silence crawled over them all until Owen broke it by saying he would go get firewood and Gwen offered to help. It was when Gwen got up that Ianto raised his eyes to look at them all only to find Jack looking at him in a way Ianto couldn´t really read.
His eyes, locked with his- so much in that glare, the reproach- was he hurt?
Unable to take that look any further Ianto averted his eyes and looked into the distance before hearing Tosh starting to talk to Jack about something completely random, probably to distract them all from what Ianto had just brought up.
* * * * *
Soon enough they noticed Gwen coming to get them and Ianto found himself wrapping the scene of crime tape along the area where the body had been found whilst they started brainstorming about possible assumptions as to what might have happened there, when the noise of a car made them all run back their way to the camp to see their SUV being drove away after destroying everything they´d built.
Getting his GPS device Ianto started tracking the signal of the SUV, “Already done,” he said when Jack asked Tosh if she could get them a tracking signal, “I took the liberty,” He added and started to explain where the SUV had headed until concluding they had parked it not that far away from where they were.
A small village figured on the map and even though it looked like a trap, they were still heading there. They didn’t have many choices at this point. Whoever took the SUV wasn´t going to let them leave the place without coming back for more.
´Has the SUV moved?´ Jack asked, and Ianto checked the tracking device.
“Not for an hour now,” He replied whilst realizing that had to be the first direct question he´d received since the previous day… and all because he had the tracking device. No further reason than that.
Once they made it to the village Ianto was ordered to go with Tosh to find the SUV and complying he started following the signal until they made it to some sort of barn…
Looking around, Ianto tried following the signal but when turning to look at Tosh after saying they should go deep into the woods because the signal seemed to come from behind the trees he noticed her gone.
Getting his gun ready, he started yelling out for her, whilst despairing he had actually lost her from his sight having her so very close… “Tosh,” he called out but nothing, only sounds coming from nowhere, confusing his senses until all of the sudden, something seemed to come from where they had came.
Moving to explore, he noticed nothing un-usual and turning back again, attempting to get a clue as to where Tosh could be, all he could remember was his sight blurring until he blacked out.
* * * * *
After the chaos had ended in the village, and everyone had been taken to safety before the villagers were dealt with by the authorities, the Torchwood team made their way back to Cardiff and the Hub.
The positions in the SUV had somehow changed from the time the journey out there. Owen had insisted Gwen sat in the front because of the nature of her wounds. Without further complaining he went to sit in the back and Ianto was about to sit where he had before when Tosh suggested he took the window this time so he could rest a little against the door.
Ianto had smiled at her whilst nodding a thankful, though tired smile and soon they were all heading back.
Owen took another look at Gwen as soon as they were in the hub, getting some X-rays done to make sure nothing was left within her skin before he gave her another analgesic and sent her to home to rest.
Tosh and Jack busied themselves unloading the SUV whilst Owen took a look at Ianto to conclude he had been lucky too, he would be alright.
No broken bones, no sprains, only bruises, cuts and a scare that wouldn´t go overnight. After giving him a bottle pain killers along with instructions to give him a call later if he wasn´t feeling the pain recede, he offered to take Gwen home before either Jack or Tosh could manage.
Without being able to care much about what was going on at the moment, Ianto headed to the showers and grabbed a quick one before changing into clean clothes and went upstairs again.
The hub lights were on ´night´ mode which indicated everyone had gone home by now, but then Jack lived there. He ought to be around shouldn´t he?
“Jack?” He called out, while pressing a hand to his ribs because they seemed to hurt when he tried raising his voice to see if the Captain was somewhere around. “Jack, are you here?” He called out, but nothing- silence was the only reply he got.
Frowning a little to himself he looked around the place, not quite sure as to what to do and decided to go sit on the couch after getting a bottle water from the fridge and popping two painkillers into his mouth. He relaxed as much as possible on the couch, his head resting on the back as his long legs stretched by the box they used as an everyday table.
He couldn´t help licking his lower lip, it was feeling dry and he could feel it sting where it was split on the corner of his mouth.
The painkillers Owen had given him before heading home were proving to be rather strong. Ianto couldn´t recall the last time he had felt this relaxed, his muscles seemed to be giving way so easily and the sensations were almost addictive for someone like him, who barely even managed to relax when grabbing a shower.
Blinking awake when feeling a hand pressing on his knee, Ianto focused his eyes, wondering when he had fallen asleep and found Jack sitting before him on the box.
“Didn´t mean to startle you,” Jack said and Ianto nodded, knowing that to be truth. Slowly sitting up straight, he felt everything starting to spin a little which made him put extra effort on focusing on the man sitting before him.
“I´ll drive you home.” Jack offered, but Ianto shook his head, instantly refusing the offer.
“You need to go home, Ianto, you need to lie down and rest in a bed- the couch won´t do. You´re taking tomorrow off and so is Gwen. I will call you both if-”
“I was scared,” Ianto interrupted his boss and sighed deeply while sitting up fully to look at Jack better.
“One of the first things I saw when driving that car through the wall was a man holding a butcher knife to your throat and from what I´ve heard he wanted to bleed you to death. I think fear was quite a logical reaction to that… The whole thing actually was- we were lucky.”
Hearing Jack´s conclusion Ianto nodded because they had being lucky despite of everything, but still, that wasn´t what he wanted to say, “I didn´t mean that,” He added locking eyes with Jack. “What we argued about earlier, you were right. I am scared. Terrified actually, about this- whatever it is, that is happening now.” Ianto rested a hand to his ribs because they were hurting as he spoke and shook his head.
“Starting to find other meanings in my life, is at this point, as terrifying as Hell. After over a year taking care of Lisa- everything that was wrong, the routine I followed. I got attached to it, now that it’s gone I feel lost. I know ´this´ is as normal as it gets, working here. But there's a big hole in my life that I thought would take years to get filled again. But when I´m with you- the emptiness vanishes- I feel…“ He frowned to himself and looked down at his knees, “I feel safe,” He said in a barely audible voice.
“You make me feel like I’m home, Ianto,” Jack said quietly. “And that terrifies the hell out of me too.”
Looking up at Jack´s reaction, Ianto frowned slightly with confusion because he couldn´t quite really come to terms with what he was hearing. What did Jack have to be afraid of when it came to them? “What do you mean?” He asked, trying to make sure what was going on because he was feeling slow, he didn´t think he was following.
“I like you,” Jack put it simply to him.
“You like me?”
“More than I thought I would, I mean we all know for a fact you look good in a suit,” he grinned, “But yes. The more we talk, the more I ´see´ you, the more I like you. And to be honest I’m not sure what to do with that…”
“So we´re both standing in the darkness,” Ianto half stated, half asked, locking eyes with Jack.
“I guess you could put it that way, yes.”
Ianto nodded and leant back on the couch to rest his back against it because it was currently killing him and as he bit his lower lip he held back a small wince of pain for he had forgotten the cut on the side of the lower lip.
“You asked me what we were going to do before. It´s my turn to ask now.”
Looking back at Jack, for Ianto was momentarily staring at the ceiling to relax his neck a little, he thought for a couple seconds before reaching a hand out as if in an offering of peace, an invitation even. A smile blossomed on his battered features when Jack held his hand back before moving to sit next to him on the couch and unable to resist the warmth coming from Jack´s body Ianto lent to the side resting his head on the Captain´s shoulder.
“I take it this is a positive thing?” Jack asked with a grin as he carefully wrapped his arm around the younger man´s body, trying to hold him without causing him further pain.
“I think we have too much pain and ´holes´ in our lives,” Ianto said while relaxing further into the others arms now holding him safely, “Too much darkness. This-“ he said resting his hand over Jack´s chest, “This can be the flicker of light that keep us going, even if until we both find a brighter one.”
“Do the painkillers always get you in a poetic mood?” Jack teased good naturedly.
Ianto chuckled and smiled to himself when feeling the other´s lips pressing a kiss to his brow before Jack rested his head against his own. He could feel Jack´s cheek against his hair, “They might, I’m afraid I can’t accurately say.”
“You got a whole bottle; we might get to find out.”
“Can I stay the night?” Ianto asked glancing up into Jack´s beautiful bright blue eyes.
“You´re not going to take all this back tomorrow saying you were high, right?”
“Erm,” Ianto pretended to think and laughed softly when Jack gave him a small suspicious frown, “It was your idea,” He added with a grin and reaching a bruised hand up he caressed Jack´s face with care, “You know what I kept on thinking whilst I thought I was going to die?”
“What?”
“I kept thinking what a dick I´ve been to you. Especially after mentioning Lisa when Gwen asked about the snogging,” he admitted with a sigh, “I wanted to piss you off,” He looked at Jack apologetically whilst hearing the other sighing softly. Jack might never confess it, but Ianto did know he had done more than piss Jack off with that remark. He had been able to see the accusation and hurt hiding within those -back then- icy blue eyes, “I’m sorry.”
“Want to know what I kept thinking whilst you and Tosh were missing in action?” Jack smiled softly at Ianto and pushed his hair off his brow a little bit, “That I pushed you too far onto the edge. I was thinking you were never going to look back.”
“But I did,” Ianto said simply. “and we talked.”
“I know. I am lucky that way. Pretty and smart.” Jack grinned and his fingers brushed down the side of Ianto´s neck feeling the line of pulse against his fingertips. “Let´s get you to bed, you can stay the night but as soon as the alarm rings I'll drive you to your place. Whilst you´re asleep and partially drugged. God knows that´s the only way I´ll get you to take a day off.”
Ianto smiled when he noticed Jack roll his eyes in a dramatic way before he leant forwards to brush an extremely tender kiss to Ianto´s bruised lips to which he responded the best he could, in his current condition. Jack then helped him up and lead the way to the bed, “I’d rather come in, than discover the next day, whatever chaos you managed to create whilst I wasn't around to clean it.” He pointed out.
“I´ll make sure they behave as much as they can, plus it will only be Owen and Tosh. Owen- I guess I can keep him away from corpses for a day or two after what he saw. I’ll give him something to investigate so he doesn’t make a mess.”
Ianto sat down on the bed because he was feeling rather drained and allowed Jack to remove his shirt before the trousers followed.
“How many clean clothes do you have here?”
“Way too many, I'm afraid,” Ianto snorted to himself and complied by lying down when Jack helped him to do so.
Resting his head on the pillow he watched Jack stripping his clothes until he ended up wearing nothing more than his boxers and Ianto held the sheets up for him to join him. As soon as Jack settled, Ianto shifted closer instinctively and rested his head on Jack´s shoulder whilst his arm wrapped over the other´s chest, his hand resting against Jack´s shoulder as his eyes closed, “Your arms feel like home,” he whispered just before his body couldn´t take it any longer and he fell into a deep sleep that would most likely cause him to forget the last thing he said to his Captain that night.
One thing was for sure though; the things spoken that night were not going to be taken back. Not this time, not by either party…
TBC…
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part: 4/?
Author: Celebrian.
Web page: @ LJ http://www.livejournal.com/users/celebrian_lotr/
&
@ IJ http://users.insanejournal.com/_bad_wolf/
Pairing: Ianto/ Jack
Rating: R (in general, this chapter probably PG15)
Summary: What happens after sleeping with the boss.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Warnings: Angst - Spoilers for Small Worlds, Countrycide if you didn´t see it and eventually probably S1 in general-
Author’s notes: WIP. And for the record, I suck at summaries, sorry about that.
Part Five coming up, hopefully sometime during next week. SORRY it took this long to update the story. Lots of things happening all together. For those who are still interested in it, I´ve written up till chapter seven… so yes, more coming up, sooner or later ;)
Feedback: Is addictive and encouraging ;-)
Thanks to Beta xibalba who is a saint and reads stories about a fandom she’s only heard me rambling about and ru_salki99 and plotbunniesinc Any remaining mistakes, all my fault.
Ianto was the first one to arrive, he noticed Jack gathering the last things from his office while the rest of the team started to make it in too. Gwen was looking utterly sleepy whilst Owen was looking utterly annoyed. Tosh, as predicted the day before, started packing her equipment and making sure everything she needed would be at hand.
Ianto busied himself helping her out while hearing Owen going on and on about how they were losing their time while Gwen headed to meet with Jack in his office.
Ianto didn´t know why, but he couldn´t help but watching from the corner of his eye as they talked.
* * * * *
“Jack,” Gwen asked while looking at her boss with big expectant eyes. “Why did you put Ianto in this situation?” She asked, resting a hand on his desk.
“I wanted to know what he thought about this,” Jack said simply, looking up at Gwen and hoping she wouldn´t push the matter any further, but then again, she was Gwen. She always pushed it further to try find out more and more- sometimes Jack thought her own stubbornness would be the death of her.
“You put the responsibility on him, you´re making him come with us… He rarely ever leaves the hub. Unless it’s to buy food or supplies,” She pointed out seriously. “What if something happened? He could get hurt, or die- he could-“ She frowned a little and sighed softly. “He could be a liability for the rest of us.”
Jack prevented himself from snorting and smiled at Gwen patiently, or as patiently as he could manage. It was actually handy he was good at pretending most the time. “He'll be alright, and he's not a liability. Plus, he could make good use of the country air, we all could.” He assured her with a dashing grin before wrapping his arm along Gwen´s shoulders to lead her downstairs to where everyone was.
He had been the one to hire Ianto; he knew what the man was capable of. Was Jack the only one that still remembered Ianto had been the one to keep a Cyberwoman in their basement? And kept it running for God knows how long?
He might be the most selfless one of them all, but that didn´t make the man an idiot. On the contrary, Jack was only starting to grasp how intelligent he was. IQ asides, because he knew the IQ of each one of his team members, he needed to know who he worked with.
Looking at Ianto for a couple seconds when no one was noticing, he hoped, he deeply hoped this would make him see that he was as much part of the team as everyone else. Jack actually regretted not having done this before, somehow Jack himself was the one to have put Ianto where he was now.
The ´tea boy´ as Owen called him. He had allowed this, it was time it changed. If Ianto needed a nudge that would help him find himself, then Jack was more than willing to give it to him.
Not him, nor anyone else in that place was in the position to keep on mourning for long, they either moved or they were removed.
Jack was more than determined to keep him though, not because of what he was starting to discover he felt around him, he wasn't going to deny it, he did want to have the young man close, he wanted him for him- But that wasn´t it. Ianto was a very important asset for Torchwood. If it weren’t for him they would have being exposed long ago.
He cleaned up all the messes they caused and Jack was sure there was no one better than him for this kind of job. He wasn´t going to lose him. He was going to make him see just how valuable a part of the team he was.
Ianto belonged there, with them. He needed to see he was part of it all despite of the recent events in his life.
* * * * *
Ianto noticed Owen taking the front seat as Jack stated he was driving. Ianto offered to sit in the middle so Gwen and Tosh would be more comfortable, and that way, they started their trip to the countryside.
Ianto was half wondering why he was going out on what could be called a field trip but he was guessing Jack was relying on him to clean any possible mess they caused and kept them all as comfortable as possible whilst they stayed away.
Mid way Owen started to complain about the smell only for Gwen to point that that disgusting smell was actually grass.
Ianto was more than glad when they decided to make a strategic stop to get some food in one of the roadside burger vans because he needed to stretch his legs after sitting in the same position for hours and after asking who wanted something to eat he went to order burgers for them all minus Tosh.
He walked a little bit as he waited for them to prepare them while looking around the place. It was actually quite pleasant to leave the hub for a while; it was quite nice out there.
While Jack, Gwen and Tosh went through a map of the area resting on the bonnet of the SUV discussing what would be the best thing to do now that they were in the actual place where the disappearances had occurred. Ianto completely missed the way Jack looked his way for a couple seconds before he moved to hand Owen his burger.
“Careful, they´re hot.” He warned them and handed Jack his before Gwen followed. “Sure you don´t want anything Tosh?” He asked, just before he was going to give his burger a bite when Tosh made a remark about one of her friends catching Hepatitis. That caused Jack to leave the burger on the hood of the car as Ianto himself and Gwen gave it a bite.
Thinking it over it was rather amusing, Jack, the one who couldn´t die, not wanting to eat the burger while the rest went ahead nevertheless.
Studying the map while hearing the Captain talking about their next move Ianto practically rolled his eyes as Owen found another thing to complain about. Not a surprise - he didn´t find camping to be an exciting idea though.
Getting closer to the spot where the last victim had disappeared they unloaded the things from the SUV and started pitching the tents. A sudden thought came to Ianto´s mind whilst thinking about sharing the tent with Jack, but then he recalled Owen would be there too.
This also caused him to think about his own reaction: Why was he even considering the fact of possibly sharing a sleeping place with Jack when Ianto had determinedly made up his mind in pretending nothing of the previous days events happened?
Shrugging it off, he focused in pitching the tent he was working on before assuring Owen there were no pieces missing. Of course there were no pieces missing, Ianto had checked. Twice.
Gwen had the brilliant idea of cheering everyone up by asking who was the last person they had snogged and Ianto once again focused on the banal activity of getting a bench to the picnic table they had sat in the middle of the camp area.
Now he couldn´t help glancing up at Jack in the SUV checking some sort of map for a second before looking down at his hands until Owen admitted the last person he´d kissed had been Gwen.
Ianto felt like snorting at that, he wasn´t at all surprised, even though Tosh seemed to be quite upset about it. Now there was something Ianto hadn´t really noticed before and he rarely missed these things. She liked him- it was obvious now, he could read it in her eyes.
Soon Owen cut up with the awkward moment, decided to ask Jack who the last person he´d kissed was and Ianto decided it was best to just stare at his hands, it was the safest move, he couldn´t do a thing, he couldn´t say a thing, he didn´t want Jack to say it out loud. But then what if he did?
Much to Ianto´s relief Jack got out of the mess with a witty joke that left him last to answer the silly question Gwen had asked to all of them. “Is my turn isn´t it?” He asked glancing up, considering it to be best to be over with it as soon as possible. “It was Lisa,” he said looking for a second at Gwen before staring back at his hands, now able to look Jack´s way.
What was he supposed to say though? It was Jack? We snogged more than once and did much more than that? And now I'm battling with myself as to why I pushed him away the way I did?
Was he starting to regret it? Was he regretting pushing Jack away the way he did?
Sighing softly he shook the idea from his mind and focused on what mattered, Lisa. He missed Lisa, the rest had been a mistake. Clear and simple. A huge mistake.
“Ianto, I´m sorry,” Gwen said, and Ianto smiled bitterly to himself.
“Sorry she´s dead? Or sorry you mentioned it?”
“I just didn´t think,” Gwen added with obvious remorse on her voice.
“You forgot.” was all Ianto had to reply whilst smiling wryly to himself before he resumed his task of staring at his hands.
An awkward silence crawled over them all until Owen broke it by saying he would go get firewood and Gwen offered to help. It was when Gwen got up that Ianto raised his eyes to look at them all only to find Jack looking at him in a way Ianto couldn´t really read.
His eyes, locked with his- so much in that glare, the reproach- was he hurt?
Unable to take that look any further Ianto averted his eyes and looked into the distance before hearing Tosh starting to talk to Jack about something completely random, probably to distract them all from what Ianto had just brought up.
* * * * *
Soon enough they noticed Gwen coming to get them and Ianto found himself wrapping the scene of crime tape along the area where the body had been found whilst they started brainstorming about possible assumptions as to what might have happened there, when the noise of a car made them all run back their way to the camp to see their SUV being drove away after destroying everything they´d built.
Getting his GPS device Ianto started tracking the signal of the SUV, “Already done,” he said when Jack asked Tosh if she could get them a tracking signal, “I took the liberty,” He added and started to explain where the SUV had headed until concluding they had parked it not that far away from where they were.
A small village figured on the map and even though it looked like a trap, they were still heading there. They didn’t have many choices at this point. Whoever took the SUV wasn´t going to let them leave the place without coming back for more.
´Has the SUV moved?´ Jack asked, and Ianto checked the tracking device.
“Not for an hour now,” He replied whilst realizing that had to be the first direct question he´d received since the previous day… and all because he had the tracking device. No further reason than that.
Once they made it to the village Ianto was ordered to go with Tosh to find the SUV and complying he started following the signal until they made it to some sort of barn…
Looking around, Ianto tried following the signal but when turning to look at Tosh after saying they should go deep into the woods because the signal seemed to come from behind the trees he noticed her gone.
Getting his gun ready, he started yelling out for her, whilst despairing he had actually lost her from his sight having her so very close… “Tosh,” he called out but nothing, only sounds coming from nowhere, confusing his senses until all of the sudden, something seemed to come from where they had came.
Moving to explore, he noticed nothing un-usual and turning back again, attempting to get a clue as to where Tosh could be, all he could remember was his sight blurring until he blacked out.
* * * * *
After the chaos had ended in the village, and everyone had been taken to safety before the villagers were dealt with by the authorities, the Torchwood team made their way back to Cardiff and the Hub.
The positions in the SUV had somehow changed from the time the journey out there. Owen had insisted Gwen sat in the front because of the nature of her wounds. Without further complaining he went to sit in the back and Ianto was about to sit where he had before when Tosh suggested he took the window this time so he could rest a little against the door.
Ianto had smiled at her whilst nodding a thankful, though tired smile and soon they were all heading back.
Owen took another look at Gwen as soon as they were in the hub, getting some X-rays done to make sure nothing was left within her skin before he gave her another analgesic and sent her to home to rest.
Tosh and Jack busied themselves unloading the SUV whilst Owen took a look at Ianto to conclude he had been lucky too, he would be alright.
No broken bones, no sprains, only bruises, cuts and a scare that wouldn´t go overnight. After giving him a bottle pain killers along with instructions to give him a call later if he wasn´t feeling the pain recede, he offered to take Gwen home before either Jack or Tosh could manage.
Without being able to care much about what was going on at the moment, Ianto headed to the showers and grabbed a quick one before changing into clean clothes and went upstairs again.
The hub lights were on ´night´ mode which indicated everyone had gone home by now, but then Jack lived there. He ought to be around shouldn´t he?
“Jack?” He called out, while pressing a hand to his ribs because they seemed to hurt when he tried raising his voice to see if the Captain was somewhere around. “Jack, are you here?” He called out, but nothing- silence was the only reply he got.
Frowning a little to himself he looked around the place, not quite sure as to what to do and decided to go sit on the couch after getting a bottle water from the fridge and popping two painkillers into his mouth. He relaxed as much as possible on the couch, his head resting on the back as his long legs stretched by the box they used as an everyday table.
He couldn´t help licking his lower lip, it was feeling dry and he could feel it sting where it was split on the corner of his mouth.
The painkillers Owen had given him before heading home were proving to be rather strong. Ianto couldn´t recall the last time he had felt this relaxed, his muscles seemed to be giving way so easily and the sensations were almost addictive for someone like him, who barely even managed to relax when grabbing a shower.
Blinking awake when feeling a hand pressing on his knee, Ianto focused his eyes, wondering when he had fallen asleep and found Jack sitting before him on the box.
“Didn´t mean to startle you,” Jack said and Ianto nodded, knowing that to be truth. Slowly sitting up straight, he felt everything starting to spin a little which made him put extra effort on focusing on the man sitting before him.
“I´ll drive you home.” Jack offered, but Ianto shook his head, instantly refusing the offer.
“You need to go home, Ianto, you need to lie down and rest in a bed- the couch won´t do. You´re taking tomorrow off and so is Gwen. I will call you both if-”
“I was scared,” Ianto interrupted his boss and sighed deeply while sitting up fully to look at Jack better.
“One of the first things I saw when driving that car through the wall was a man holding a butcher knife to your throat and from what I´ve heard he wanted to bleed you to death. I think fear was quite a logical reaction to that… The whole thing actually was- we were lucky.”
Hearing Jack´s conclusion Ianto nodded because they had being lucky despite of everything, but still, that wasn´t what he wanted to say, “I didn´t mean that,” He added locking eyes with Jack. “What we argued about earlier, you were right. I am scared. Terrified actually, about this- whatever it is, that is happening now.” Ianto rested a hand to his ribs because they were hurting as he spoke and shook his head.
“Starting to find other meanings in my life, is at this point, as terrifying as Hell. After over a year taking care of Lisa- everything that was wrong, the routine I followed. I got attached to it, now that it’s gone I feel lost. I know ´this´ is as normal as it gets, working here. But there's a big hole in my life that I thought would take years to get filled again. But when I´m with you- the emptiness vanishes- I feel…“ He frowned to himself and looked down at his knees, “I feel safe,” He said in a barely audible voice.
“You make me feel like I’m home, Ianto,” Jack said quietly. “And that terrifies the hell out of me too.”
Looking up at Jack´s reaction, Ianto frowned slightly with confusion because he couldn´t quite really come to terms with what he was hearing. What did Jack have to be afraid of when it came to them? “What do you mean?” He asked, trying to make sure what was going on because he was feeling slow, he didn´t think he was following.
“I like you,” Jack put it simply to him.
“You like me?”
“More than I thought I would, I mean we all know for a fact you look good in a suit,” he grinned, “But yes. The more we talk, the more I ´see´ you, the more I like you. And to be honest I’m not sure what to do with that…”
“So we´re both standing in the darkness,” Ianto half stated, half asked, locking eyes with Jack.
“I guess you could put it that way, yes.”
Ianto nodded and leant back on the couch to rest his back against it because it was currently killing him and as he bit his lower lip he held back a small wince of pain for he had forgotten the cut on the side of the lower lip.
“You asked me what we were going to do before. It´s my turn to ask now.”
Looking back at Jack, for Ianto was momentarily staring at the ceiling to relax his neck a little, he thought for a couple seconds before reaching a hand out as if in an offering of peace, an invitation even. A smile blossomed on his battered features when Jack held his hand back before moving to sit next to him on the couch and unable to resist the warmth coming from Jack´s body Ianto lent to the side resting his head on the Captain´s shoulder.
“I take it this is a positive thing?” Jack asked with a grin as he carefully wrapped his arm around the younger man´s body, trying to hold him without causing him further pain.
“I think we have too much pain and ´holes´ in our lives,” Ianto said while relaxing further into the others arms now holding him safely, “Too much darkness. This-“ he said resting his hand over Jack´s chest, “This can be the flicker of light that keep us going, even if until we both find a brighter one.”
“Do the painkillers always get you in a poetic mood?” Jack teased good naturedly.
Ianto chuckled and smiled to himself when feeling the other´s lips pressing a kiss to his brow before Jack rested his head against his own. He could feel Jack´s cheek against his hair, “They might, I’m afraid I can’t accurately say.”
“You got a whole bottle; we might get to find out.”
“Can I stay the night?” Ianto asked glancing up into Jack´s beautiful bright blue eyes.
“You´re not going to take all this back tomorrow saying you were high, right?”
“Erm,” Ianto pretended to think and laughed softly when Jack gave him a small suspicious frown, “It was your idea,” He added with a grin and reaching a bruised hand up he caressed Jack´s face with care, “You know what I kept on thinking whilst I thought I was going to die?”
“What?”
“I kept thinking what a dick I´ve been to you. Especially after mentioning Lisa when Gwen asked about the snogging,” he admitted with a sigh, “I wanted to piss you off,” He looked at Jack apologetically whilst hearing the other sighing softly. Jack might never confess it, but Ianto did know he had done more than piss Jack off with that remark. He had been able to see the accusation and hurt hiding within those -back then- icy blue eyes, “I’m sorry.”
“Want to know what I kept thinking whilst you and Tosh were missing in action?” Jack smiled softly at Ianto and pushed his hair off his brow a little bit, “That I pushed you too far onto the edge. I was thinking you were never going to look back.”
“But I did,” Ianto said simply. “and we talked.”
“I know. I am lucky that way. Pretty and smart.” Jack grinned and his fingers brushed down the side of Ianto´s neck feeling the line of pulse against his fingertips. “Let´s get you to bed, you can stay the night but as soon as the alarm rings I'll drive you to your place. Whilst you´re asleep and partially drugged. God knows that´s the only way I´ll get you to take a day off.”
Ianto smiled when he noticed Jack roll his eyes in a dramatic way before he leant forwards to brush an extremely tender kiss to Ianto´s bruised lips to which he responded the best he could, in his current condition. Jack then helped him up and lead the way to the bed, “I’d rather come in, than discover the next day, whatever chaos you managed to create whilst I wasn't around to clean it.” He pointed out.
“I´ll make sure they behave as much as they can, plus it will only be Owen and Tosh. Owen- I guess I can keep him away from corpses for a day or two after what he saw. I’ll give him something to investigate so he doesn’t make a mess.”
Ianto sat down on the bed because he was feeling rather drained and allowed Jack to remove his shirt before the trousers followed.
“How many clean clothes do you have here?”
“Way too many, I'm afraid,” Ianto snorted to himself and complied by lying down when Jack helped him to do so.
Resting his head on the pillow he watched Jack stripping his clothes until he ended up wearing nothing more than his boxers and Ianto held the sheets up for him to join him. As soon as Jack settled, Ianto shifted closer instinctively and rested his head on Jack´s shoulder whilst his arm wrapped over the other´s chest, his hand resting against Jack´s shoulder as his eyes closed, “Your arms feel like home,” he whispered just before his body couldn´t take it any longer and he fell into a deep sleep that would most likely cause him to forget the last thing he said to his Captain that night.
One thing was for sure though; the things spoken that night were not going to be taken back. Not this time, not by either party…
TBC…
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3