In Our Own Skins: Arthur II
Title: In Our Own Skins (6b/8)
Author: ceecee_05
Rating: R (this chapter contains swearing)
Characters/Pairings (In this chapter): Arthur/Gwen, Arthur/Michelle, Arthur/OC, Uther, Morgan
Spoilers: NONE
Disclaimer: MERLIN's not mine, just the grammatical errors
Summary: It's Arthur's birthday dinner, and the night quickly turns to shit.
Author's notes: Michelle is supposed to be Mithian, and Melvin is loosely based off of Melwas from the legends. Be forewarned that I'm the only one who's edited this. I apologize in advance for any errors.
Arthur II
Pure and utter agony is the only way to properly describe the night I've been having so far because father is certainly making good on his threat. He's only invited simpleminded girls of my age group and financial standing to this party. I say this party because I barely know or like most of the people in attendance, and this feels more like one of father's functions than something meant for me. I know I'm being auctioned off to the highest bidder, and no one but me seems to really give a damn.
After first being forced into meaningless conversations with several nameless girls I don't care to remember, I'm reluctantly reintroduced to Michelle Fair. Michelle is still as beautiful, kind, and as much of a laugh as I remember, but she's not Guinevere, and she never will be.
Eventually the butlers enter to escort everyone to their respective seats at the dining table, and of course Michelle is seated beside me. I try not to dwell on the fact that I don't mind half as much as I probably should; at least I know the company will be slightly better than Vivian, Abigail, Rosaline, or any of the other countless girls from earlier this evening.
Surprisingly dinner is actually going fairly well. Michelle and I have been arguing over football (how she can genuinely back Manchester over Arsenal is beyond me), discussing our classes at our respective schools, and just telling pointless observational jokes about some of the guests to pass the time.
Throughout all of dinner I've been successfully avoiding father's watchful eye, but Morgan and Melvin's sociable banter is far harder to ignore. Ever since the fallout between Morgan and Gwen I've only caught glimpses of Morgan. If she's not barricaded in her room she's out doing God knows what, with God knows who. I am somewhat saddened by our lack of communication, but I will not condone the way she's treated Guinevere.
"Arthur, Arthur have you heard one word I've said?"
"Hm"
I force my eyes away from Morgan and Melvin back towards Michelle. Her eyes hold amusement, so at least I know she's not angry with me.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
She laughs lightly to herself, and I can't help the slight tinge of red that appears on my cheeks in embarrassment. I'm making myself look like such a nob.
"I asked if you wanted to go for a walk in the gardens. I remember it being quite beautiful the last time I was here."
I hesitate for a moment wondering if the idea seems too much like a tryst between lovers, but quickly dismiss the thought when I remember that Michelle only thinks of us as mates. I mean all throughout dinner she's never made any indication that she wants to be anything else, so I shouldn't assume that a late walk through the gardens means anything but just a walk between old friends, right?
"Alright. I rarely go out there myself, but why the hell not."
Perhaps spending some time out in the gardens will be fun. It would certainly be nice to leave the confinement of this room, and all the girls leering at me.
We politely excuse ourselves from the table and at the sight of father's beaming smile I can't help but feel uneasy. It's only a walk with a mate. I'm not about to propose marriage to the girl.
For the most part our walk through the gardens is fairly quiet. Michelle seems quite enthralled with touching and smelling the flowers, while all I can think about is my mother. My old nanny used to tell me that my mother would come out here and tend to these very gardens when she was pregnant with me. Perhaps I should bring Gwen and our unborn child to visit?
"Arthur, where do you keep nodding off to?"
I quickly glance behind my back to see that Michelle has stopped walking, and once again I've been oblivious to her attempts at conversation. She must really think I'm a nutter now.
"I don't know. I guess I'm just a little distracted thinking about my mum."
Her smile falters, and she grasps my hand in an attempt at comfort. I'm a little uncomfortable with the gesture, but ignore the instinct to recoil at her touch. Michelle's only trying to help.
"My mother still refuses to come to the Pendragon Manor because it makes her remember your mother so profusely. She still hasn't completely recovered from her death."
"Really?"
"Yes, but to be fair they were very close. I don't think I still have any mates that I used to know since I've been in nappies. She says that your mother was the most beautiful person she's ever met, inside and out. Mum will always tell stories about their younger days. Unsurprisingly, she's always the mischievous one in them."
I laugh along with Michelle, and allow her to lead me to the two-seater swing set by the white marble fountain. As I sit I can't help hoping that Michelle will be willing to tell me more about my mother. Father doesn't really enjoy discussing her, so I don't know much about her life.
"What kind of stories did your mother tell you?"
"Well, supposedly my mum once convinced your mother to bunk off school so they could go to a concert in Albion."
"Go to Albion? I thought that mum grew up here."
"Oh no our mums were born and raised in Nemeth. You didn't know that?"
"No, father never said."
Obviously I don't know much of anything about my mother. Why didn't father ever tell me mum wasn't born in Albion?
"Well, maybe that's enough talk about that for the night then…"
"NO!"
I have to recollect myself when Michelle jumps a little in her seat at my outburst. I didn't mean to startle her. I just don't want to stop talking about my mum, not yet.
"I mean, please continue with the story. I'd like to know what happened."
Gradually she begins to relax, and gives me a small smile before she nods. I can't help but return a grin of my own. This is what I've dreamed about for years; someone who can finally give me some sort of information about who my mother was before she died.
"Well, while they were eating a curry at a small restaurant, who should approach them but one Uther Pendragon along with a couple of his mates."
"Really, my father? I can't imagine him in a small curry restaurant, even as a teenager."
I laugh at how ridiculous all of this sounds. Father is not the sort of person to enter into any place he deems common.
"Yes your father. Well back then he wasn't as wealthy and powerful as he is now. I think mum said he was working as a cashier at some sort of clothing store."
I try to maintain the allusion that I'm not angry at what Michelle has just told me. I don't want her to feel like she's done anything wrong because she hasn't; if anyone is truly in the wrong it would be my father. How can he tell me to stay away from Guinevere when he was once in the same position as her?
"I'm sorry Michelle, but I have to go."
"Wait, what, but I haven't finished the story."
I quickly rise from the swing, and practically sprint towards the backdoor. Obviously father thought he could hide his hypocrisy, but he's not getting away with this; I won't let him.
"Arthur hold on, please just stop for a moment."
I have to fight all of my instincts from continuing on my way to the house so that I can confront my father. He tries to make me feel like I'm bringing shame to our family by loving someone below my class when mother did the same thing for him.
"Arthur, what's happened? Did I do something wrong?"
I slowly close my eyes, and count to ten in my head in a poor attempt to quell my growing ire. I won't take it out on Michelle when she was only trying to be kind. I already feel rather guilty about the way I've treated her, and I know I need to apologize for my actions.
"You haven't done anything wrong Michelle. I just need to speak with my father as soon as possible. However, I shouldn't have just left you back there, and I'm sorry for that. Please allow me to walk you back to the manor."
I offer Michelle my arm, and she hesitantly wraps hers around my own, but remains immobile. Perhaps the wind is becoming too much for her? Recently the weather has been somewhat warmer than usual, but I don't know why I still didn't insist she wear a coat if she was going to be walking outside in April.
"Are you cold?"
I attempt to warm her naked arms with my own, but it doesn't seem to help. She just stares at me with uncertainty, and I can't help but wonder if my apology wasn't good enough.
"Michelle, I'm really sorry for just legging it back…"
I freeze when her face begins to inch towards me, her lips puckered, and eyes shut tight. I watch her in utter shock before I realize how close I've allowed her to get to me. Is she really trying to snog me right now?
I reach for her shoulders, and gently nudge her away from me. That was much too close. I can still feel the tingles of her breath on my face. Michelle's a pretty girl, but I could never hurt Gwen like that.
"Michelle, I'm sorry but…"
"No Arthur, I'm so sorry. Blimey, what was I thinking? I'm such a fool. I can't believe I actually tried to snog you just now. I'm not a slag or anything. I just thought that you know we have so many similar interests, and your father said…"
"What did my father say?"
"He said you wanted to reconnect with me, but obviously you never did. Oh I'm such an idiot."
I barely hear Michelle during her rant, all I can think of is how angry I am. I can't believe father would involve Michelle in his quest to destroy my relationship with Guinevere. Does he have no shame?
"Michelle I'm sorry my father deceived you, but I'm very much in love with someone else. He doesn't want me involved with her, so he's doing everything he can to split us up."
She nods softly, but keeps her eyes locked on the ground. I know it's not my fault, yet I can't help feeling responsible for unintentionally letting Michelle think there could ever be anything between us. A walk in the gardens was definitely meant to be romantic, and like an idiot I'd assumed she'd only wanted to be mates.
"I know I've already said it, but I truly am sorry Michelle. You're a great person, just not for me, at least not in that way. Though, if it's alright with you maybe we can be mates?"
She doesn't respond at first, and I begin to feel a chill go down my spine. Then she slowly lifts her head, and smiles before embracing me in a friendly hug.
"Of course we can be mates Arthur. Just admit Manchester is way better than Arsenal, and we can pretend none of this ever happened."
I scoff, and she smirks; then we both begin to laugh like mentals, and I know that Michelle and I will be alright.
"But best never to tell Guinevere about this. Don't really think she'd appreciate you trying to snog me."
"Don't worry Arthur, if she ever finds out I'll just tell her the truth."
I nod because I know that if Gwen knew the whole story she'd understand Michelle's actions.
"I'll tell her that I briefly lost leave of all of my senses, and gave into a moment of insanity."
I continue to nod until I finally process what Michelle has just said.
"Oie"
She begins to laugh, and I smile in return as I once again offer her my arm. This time we make it back into the Manor arm in arm, speaking companionably the entire way.
Once Michelle and I enter my home I excuse myself, and she waves me away with a smile. I think she knows I need to speak with my father. Not only does he belittle Guinevere every chance he gets, but he also tried to use Michelle to ruin my relationship.
I find father sitting on a chair in his office swirling an almost empty glass of scotch in his hand, and staring out of his window into the gardens. I slam the door upon my entry, and he immediately turns to me with a glazed look in his eyes. Of course he's drunk; he always gets pissed on my birthday.
"Father we need to talk"
"Not now Arthur"
I'm somewhat thrown by father's calm response to my insolence, but not deterred. Even when he chugs the last remnants of his drink I don't allow myself to feel an ounce of pity for the seemingly broken man before me.
"Yes, right now!"
His eyes harden, and his gaze quickly morphs into a glare. The man before me now is the one I know as my father. This is the man that hurt Guinevere, used Michelle, and who I've allowed to manipulate me for so many years.
"Well what are you waiting for boy? You walk in here acting the part of a man, so be one. Speak!"
I take a moment to compose myself before starting a row I know has no hope of ending well. I need to remember not to let father intimidate me anymore. I am not a coward, and even with father's ire seeping like waves from his skin I will not back down.
"I want you to acknowledge that I'm in a relationship with Guinevere, and though I realize you will never approve, you must accept it. No more attempts to throw debutantes in my face as if I will flock to them like some simpleminded fool."
"You listen, and you listen well Arthur."
I stand my ground when he stumbles towards me, and the smell of expensive scotch clouds my nostrils.
"I will never condone any sort of relationship between my heir, and his common whore."
"Guinevere is not a WHORE, and you will remember to refrain from referring to her as one ever again."
I'm utterly disgusted by my father, and it saddens me to think that a man who's supposed to love me more than all others could care less about my feelings.
"Or what Arthur? What will you do if I call your whore exactly what she is?"
I've never raised my hand to my father - even on the many occasions I knew he deserved to be struck in the past - but now as my fist connects with his cheek all I feel is satisfied. I watch in pleasure as he staggers to the ground, and the adrenalin continues to course through my veins. I'm glad that father's in pain, it's good to know that even if not through compassion or love I'm able to make him feel something.
"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL HER A FUCKING WHORE!"
I watch my father attempt to lift his drunken body from the floor with my fists still clenched, and a sneer on my face. I know he's probably winded. I put a lot of the anger and frustration I've been carrying into that punch. The years of doing what father wanted instead of what I did. The months being angry with Morgan for hurting Gwen when all she ever did was be her friend. The weeks spent worrying my best mate is going to die soon. And finally having the memory of Melvin saying the same horribly degrading things about the woman I love that my father is saying now.
"It's good to see that you're braver than I gave you credit for. I never thought I'd see the day when you had the nerve to strike me."
I try unsuccessfully not to tremble at the look of tempered rage gracing his face. I can't really rationalize why I feel a sudden bout of fear as my father finally rises from the floor and begins walking towards me, but irrational or not I do.
"Father I'm sorry, I should not have hit you."
"No Arthur, never apologize for your actions, justify them. I was always worried you'd be too gentle - you have so much of your mother in you, but just now I saw the man I've always wanted you to become. I saw a fire in your eyes that reminded me so much of myself."
"I'm not you, and I never will be."
A shiver runs down my spine at just the idea of being like my father. I have always looked for father's validation, but now as I watch his face beam with pride I can't help but feel sick.
"No of course not - not yet, but one day you could be. When you become the Mayor of Albion I know you'll make me proud."
"I will never give up Guinevere."
Father simply moves closer to me, and tightly grasps my shoulder in response. The eyes that were just bright with delight now have the fire father must have seen in mine before I punched him in his face.
"You do not have a choice in the matter Arthur. Either you stay away from that girl, or I marry you to whomever I choose."
"You can't keep me away from her father. I love her more than I can express, and I won't give her up."
His grip strengthens, and I force myself to swallow the wince back down my throat.
"I can make her life very difficult Arthur. If you go anywhere near that commoner I promise you I will get her put into care. I know she's an orphan, and is supposed to be living with her brother, but he's off gallivanting in America pretending to attend school."
"You had someone make a fucking file on her?"
I struggle to remove myself from my father's grip, but the action only makes him squeeze tighter.
"Watch your mouth when speaking to me. Of course I looked into her. I'm trying to help you Arthur. You still can't seem to realize that she's not good enough for you."
"You were once a cashier at a damn clothing store! You have no right to judge her when you were once in the same position as her."
Throughout my father's parenting he's rarely resorted to physical violence. Usually he'll blackmail, barter, or frighten to get his point across, but obviously now is one of those rare occasions when a smack in the face is the only way for him to properly assert himself. It isn't painful, just a little startling.
"Don't ever compare me to that peasant again. You know nothing of my past, so don't pretend to assume you know me boy."
I shutter a little at the crazed look in father's eyes, I've never seen him so out of control.
"Now I have given you your last warning Arthur. If I find out you have gone to see this girl even once from the moment you leave this office, I will have you walking down the aisle so quickly you won't even have time to learn your new wife's favourite colour until your honeymoon. Oh and perhaps I'll also have your whore get into a minor accident, the world is such a dangerous place who knows what can happen. Am I making myself clear Arthur?"
I'm seething, but there's nothing I can do. I can't risk Gwen and the baby. I'll have to wait until I know they're both safe before I try anything drastic. I briefly thought of telling father about the baby, but I know his first instinct will be to get rid of my child so as not to tarnish the Pendragon name, and I can't allow that to happen.
"Yes father"
"Good, one day you will realize I did this for your benefit Arthur, but for now, get out!"
He releases my arm, and pushes me towards the door. Even through all of this I still can't help but love my father, yet the respect I once had for him is gone. The things he's done, and the threats he's made are irredeemable in my eyes.
"Isn't it strange how you can have two children, but only see yourself in one of them? Genetics are fascinating."
What is he going on about? Has he actually lost his mind?
"I don't understand father"
"No you wouldn't would you. Tell Morgan I'd like to speak with her."
"Yes father"
I practically leg it out of the room just to be greeted with Morgan herself. I briefly scan the corridor and breathe a small sigh of relief that Melvin isn't with her. One altercation is enough for the day, especially the one I've just gone through.
"My excuse for a father wishes to speak with you."
"I know, I heard through the door. You two weren't really being all that quiet."
I'm not surprised to hear that Morgan's been eavesdropping (it wouldn't be the first time), but I am a little surprised by the perturbed look on her face. Although, I don't comment as she hesitantly makes her way into father's study. I have more important things to worry about than Morgan's strange behavior.
I quickly make my way to my bedroom, ignoring the noise from the party that's still going on downstairs. I need to talk to Gwen. I need her to tell me that we can get through this because love is enough. I need to know that she won't leave me again at the first sign of trouble, and that whatever happens we'll be there for each other. Essentially I just need her.
I force down the tears that keep trying to fall from my eyes as I ring Gwen. I don't want to worry her more than I need to.
"Hey love"
"Arthur, took you long enough to ring me. How's your birthday party so far? I hope everyone has been treating you well! Are you still coming round after because I could really use some cookie dough ice cream from the market before it closes? I must admit I rather like pregnancy cravings. I get to eat all the ice cream I want, and no one can judge me."
I can already picture the smile on her face as I listen to her soft giggles. I don't want to be the one to take that joy away from her, but I know I have to.
"Guinevere…I…my father…Ugh I don't even know where to start."
"It's alright Arthur, just start from the beginning. Whatever happened we'll get through it together, as a family."
I can't help the small smile that appears on my lips. God do I love this woman.
"You have no idea how much I needed to hear you say that."
I jump onto my excessively large bed and stretch out my tired body in an attempt to make myself as comfortable as possible for the long conversation ahead.
"Well of course tonight started terribly. You can't even imagine the amount of girly shrieks I've had to endure."
At the sound of Guinevere's laughter I relax a little more into the cushions. I know we'll make it through whatever father throws at us. We just have to make sure not to get caught for one year. Really, how hard can that be?
Thank you for reading!:)
Next is chapter 7: Morgan