Reflections and Ramblings

[cat_o_wen]

I’ve been thinking about a bunch of things this week; reflecting on changes I’ve made, friends come and gone, career, family, the future. And I am going to use this journal entry to record those thoughts. And for once I am going to not ‘f-lock’ a personal entry because perhaps something I have to say might be interesting to someone out there beyond

Comments

[deloriage]

This was a wonderful entry. I too have learned to just let some things (and people/friendships) go. It’s not easy for sure, but it’s not a bad thing at times either. There comes a big sigh of relief when you realize that you don’t have to keep up the pretense of a relationship “just because”. Especially if you’ve known someone for a long time. Depending on the person sometimes I find what happens is that while I may not let the relationship “go” per se it just changes, which isn’t bad either. Yep, people grow and change..and it’s OK. It’s like that old saying where sometimes people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime

[cat_o_wen]

Thank you so much, Anne! I worried that it sounded a bit pretentious...but these things were bouncing around my head, so I just decided to stick them here on LJ as sort of a marker for where I am emotionally right now. I have a ways to go yet, but I think I have also come a long way in the past year. I know that I have changed quite a bit and I suppose I just wanted to acknowledge that fact and talk about it with the friends who have been along for the ride.

I have been so very lucky to meet you and others like you here on LJ (and the old forums). I am truly enjoying our correspondences even if I am slow as Hell in answering emails *laughs* Thank you for overlooking that. <

[deloriage]

You didn't sound pretentious at all. Putting things down in writing as you did is a great idea, for exactly the reason you stated: as a marker to see how far you've come.

And as the many other posters have said, you should be proud of your accomplishments, you have every right to be.

We,as human beings,are constant "works in progress". I don't know if we ever *really* figure out who we are *exactly* only because I think the sum of our ongoing life experiences help make us the people that we are.(Does that make sense? LOL.)

Thank you for your compliments! I sincerely appreciate your input and the suggestions you've offered to me.

No worries about the e-mails! Whenever you get around to it! : )

[cat_o_wen]

I truly do want to be able to read this months down the road and note the changes in my attitude. And I think the subject matter is a good one for discussion with you guys as well. We are all 'works in progress' - great way to put it! And I think self discovery is a lifelong journey as well because it is ever changing.

I finally emailed you *laughs* What a true and remarkable friend you are for being so patient with me. I adore our discussions though - just remember that!

[cat_o_wen]

Thank you, Mel *hugs* I suppose that I have been doing a lot of self examination and reflection lately and so I keep posting these long rambling LJ entries. *laughs* I do not think that I have quite yet discovered 'who I am' though...that is still a work in progress. But I do know that you, too, are working on being yourself and saying 'no' to others from time to time. It is very difficult, isn't it? *laughs* I have been blessed to have known you now for around 5 years and I know you are struggling with your own path in life. But you will get there. Just enjoy every day. Find something that makes you smile each and every day

[cat_o_wen]

*laughs* Nothing going right for you today, dear? I hope you make it to the weekend. *hugs* And yes, True Blood - will be your new addiction when you see it.

HAHA! Yes, you should have carved your name in the wall at NCM somewhere. *laughs* It was great fun taking you there too. I really loved that trip. And I am so glad that you enjoyed yoru time here with us. But I am sure your experience in NYC will eclipse it *laughs* There is nothing like that city anywhere else in this country *gg*

*hugs*

[blade_and_roses]

Words of wisdom from someone really wise. You've written so beautifully (not prattled!) the way we should live our lives, for ourselves, for the moment. Oh, how I hope things turn out well for you! Your designs are so wonderful.

And the more I hear, the more I think I need to check out True Blood.

[cat_o_wen]

*blushes* Thank you, dear. Very kind of you to say that. I am truly doing my best to live in the moment and let go of the old apprehensions that I always let consume my life. And I am blessed and very fortunate to know you!! *hugs*

True Blood is addictive! And I have never really been a big fan of vampire stories...but this one is original and fun. *g*

[sarmatianknight]

Well, what can I say

[cat_o_wen]

Oh where should I begin when it comes to my friendship with you? *smiles* I think we began talking due to a novel or was it only the RP? I think we both were reading The Winter King at the same time and that is when our friendship began to take shape. But correct me if I am wrong on that point. *laughs* You are one of the most interesting and charismatic people that I have met online and I am so very lucky to know you.

I am glad that you have seen the changes in me and you are still around. *g* Finding the balance is indeed very important in life. And not easy to do - I'm still working on that too as I know that you are as well. Does anyone ever figure out exactly who they are and find that perfect balance in their lives though? I doubt it. But I think we can come close enough to be content and find joy in our everyday lives.

I thank you for accepting me as I am and for the honest and open friendship that we have always had.

[sarmatianknight]

In all truth I cannot remember anymore why and when exactly we started to talk on Yahoo. Forgive me! Such things are not important for me and I never know when I met someone or when I fell in love with someone. I forget anniversaries and I never remember how many month a relationship lasted already. I think the best friendships are those you do not know when they started or why. They just exist and it is good to have them as a part of your life. I remember he Winter King though and that we had a great time to read and discuss it! We should do this again... reminds me that I wanted to write something about that book I mentioned the last time

[cat_o_wen]

So your memory is as bad as mine then! *laughs* Ah no, it isn't truly important why or when we began to talk. I am just so very glad that we did. We have enough in common to always find something to talk about, and we have enough differences between us to keep it interesting as well. I must say that you are a typical man though - forgetting anniversaries *winks* LOL

[shelley_stone]

Cat, my darling, you are the sweetest, nicest person I've met in a very long time and I am honored to know you.

You have come a long way and the growth was not always easy, but then, the best things in life seldom are. You have courage and strength. I will always cherish our "on line" friendship and, who knows, one of these days I just may pay you a visit. You will of course have the choice to leave town and change your name and face before I show up on your doorstep *hee*.

All my love to you and your family. Please take care and stay safe!!

Hugs and love,

Shelley

[cat_o_wen]

Shelley, you can visit me anytime! I think we would have a blast! You are another person that LJ has brought into my life that I am very grateful for. You are the kindest soul I know! You always offer love and encouragement and you have been there to support me for a long time now. I truly love you for it. It is ME that is honoured to know YOU.

Hugs and love,

Cat