Diversions, ch 4

[caithion]

previous chapters

Chapter 4 [Edit: Story down for a year, as it has been placed in the Iron and Silk fanzine.]

In which we discover that aviation and driving are not a good mix, and there is much conversation.

Comments

[sindeniirelle]

Thank you for another excellent chapter. I just can't get over how crisp and professional your writing is, and the plot is developing so wonderfully, it leaves me dying for the next chapter. It's a real pleasure to read your fanfiction. You have the characters down perfectly, and I can't wait for the next chapter!

[caithion]

Thank you very much! You're very kind, so I'm going to send you on a mission, if you ever have the time and inclination. Find something that doesn't work in my story. I just don't like the last chapter at all, but I can't put my finger on it, so I'd love some crit.

[sindeniirelle]

Well, I read the entire story again and I don't think there's really anything wrong with it. One thing I did sort of notice was that, whereas the prologue and the first three chapters each felt almost like their own self-contained stories coming together in a bigger arc, chapter four felt more like a link between chapters in that, while it was exciting it still really left me wanting to read chapter five to get to more of the plot. I don't think that's a problem, but it does make the last chapter a bit different, structurally, from the other three. Does that make sense at all? I couldn't find anything wrong with the writing, story or characterization.

[caithion]

That does make a lot of sense, actually. Thank you! It also explains why I was so torn over whether or not to include part of chapter 5 to give it more oomph instead of letting it trail off like it does.

Thanks again!

[caithion]

Thank you! I'm really glad you're enjoying it.