An Envious Muse
Title: An Envious Muse
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~2500
Pairing: Castle/Beckett
Summary: One-shot set during Boom! (2x18). "Jordan Shaw is pretty cool, but she’s not the woman about whom I was writing tonight.”
She continued to toss and turn, a tangle of sheets around her feet and the comforter falling off the side of the bed. Kate Beckett knew she needed to sleep, but dreaded closing her eyes, aware that the scattered images of a fire-ridden bathroom, specially engraved bullets, and a brilliant FBI agent awaited her. She sighed, knowing she was being ridiculous. This wasn’t the first time she’d faced a dangerous psychopath, and it probably wouldn’t be the last. And she was fortunate to have a friend like Castle to take her in without hesitation.
A friend? She supposed that’s what they were now. While Kate had fought against him shadowing her when first faced with the prospect, she certainly couldn’t deny his helpfulness. When combined with his childlike joyfulness and his wholehearted generosity, it made Castle a pretty wonderful addition to her life. So, definitely a friend. Maybe more.
Kate had rolled her eyes when he showed up at her apartment to “protect” her. After all, she was the trained detective and could take care of herself. But she had felt so safe with him there and, though she’d never admit it if asked, it had been incredibly hard to turn down the glass of wine. To not relax and see where their conversation would have taken them.
She had feigned exasperation again when Castle offered to let her stay at the loft, and anger when Montgomery made it an order. However, while upset by the circumstances surrounding the case and her need for a bed, Kate acknowledged that his building was secure and was touched by his willingness to open his home to her. To her great relief, there had been no awkwardness throughout the evening; on the contrary, she had enjoyed her talk with Alexis and the hot chocolate with Castle. Unfortunately, all of the comfort had worn off and left her with the restlessness plaguing her now.
Kate finally conceded defeat and stood up, straightening her yoga pants and red t-shirt. She knew her hair was a mess around her face, but she wasn’t planning to enter any beauty pageants…she just wanted some warm milk and honey. Careful not to wake Alexis as she left the guest room, she padded barefoot down the stairs, surprised to see a light coming from Castle’s office. Was he really writing in the middle of the night? She knew nothing about his schedule, but supposed that it made sense. He was with her most days, and he had to write sometime. Turning away from the kitchen, she quietly made her way to his door.
As she approached, Kate saw him focused on his laptop, typing furiously. He didn’t seem to notice her presence and she took a moment to observe him for a change, enjoying seeing her favorite author at work. Finally, she took a deep breath and hoped she wouldn’t scare him too badly.
“So, do you always do your best writing at night, or are you just making an exception?”
Castle startled briefly, pushing back from the computer. “Kate? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just couldn’t sleep. I came down to get something to drink and saw that you were still up.” She moved inside the office and sat down in one of the large leather armchairs facing his desk. Kate curled her legs underneath her and hugged the decorative pillow to her chest.
He smiled, blue eyes twinkling in the lamplight. “And you thought you’d watch me for a while? Payback, perhaps?”
“Perhaps.” She got quiet, not knowing if she should say anything else. For once, he wasn’t pushing for conversation. “Are you going to write about her?”
Castle’s smile faded and he tilted his head in confusion. “Write about whom?”
“Shaw.”
“Um, as in a character based upon her? I honestly hadn’t thought about it yet, though I obviously include several of your coworkers in the Nikki Heat books.”
“She’s not my coworker.”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Well, no, not really. And again, I haven’t written anything about her yet.” He paused. “You don’t want me to write about her.”
Kate mumbled a response and look down at the pillow in her arms. He got up and walked around to the front of his desk, leaning back against it and crossing his arms. He waited her out, oddly patient.
“I don’t have a right to decide who you put in your novels. It was just a question.” She was regretting her decision to speak up. To stop by his office in the first place. Hell, to even get out of bed.
Castle stepped forward and dropped to his knees in front of her. He pulled the pillow away and set it down on the floor, before reaching for her hands. He held them lightly on her lap, bringing back a cautious smile. “You’re my muse, so you do have a say in my novels. And it wasn’t just a question. It bothers you that I’ve paid her any attention.”
“But why wouldn’t you? She’s smart and…”
He interrupted before she could continue. “Shh, Kate, listen to me. She is smart. She is a successful federal agent, who is balancing her career and her family. She has the respect of her team and some kick-ass toys. So, yes, she’s caught my eye.” Before he could think better of it, he lifted one of Kate’s hands to his lips, kissing it lightly. “But she’s not you.”
Kate wasn’t sure if she was more stunned by his actions or words, but he held her eyes as she adjusted herself in the chair, sitting up and placing a leg on either side of him. Castle let go of her hands, but slowly raised one of his to her face, his palm resting against her cheek. She couldn’t help but lean into it as he kept talking.
“You are the woman I want to see every day. You are the woman who brought excitement back into my life. You are the woman who has inspired the tens of thousands of words that I share with the world. Jordan Shaw is pretty cool, but she’s not the woman about whom I was writing tonight.”
His thumb trailed across her lips and she let her eyelids drift shut, a rush of warmth overtaking her body. When she didn’t move away, he leaned forward and captured her mouth with his with an amazing balance of tenderness and hunger. Kate responded by threading her fingers through his thick hair and holding him to her, while his left hand wrapped around her waist and brought her hips closer to his body. Castle moaned into her mouth as she opened it for his eager tongue and they took turns exploring each other; the tip of her tongue teased the roof of his mouth, his teeth nipped at her bottom lip.
They finally broke apart, but kept their foreheads together, breathing the same air. “Castle, should we be doing this?”
His right hand still cradled her face and he considered her carefully. “Only if you want to, Kate. I could keep kissing you for the next hundred years, but I will get you something to drink and send you back to the guest room if you’re not okay with this.”
“I’m more than okay with this. I want this. I need this.” As if her answer wasn’t enough, she showed him by tugging at his shirt until she was able to pull it over his head. He quickly returned the favor, tossing her t-shirt to the floor, his sharp inhale a sign that he was surprised to find no bra underneath. Castle cupped her breasts with his warm hands while their mouths met for another languid kiss. Kate couldn’t help but arch into him, searching for more contact.
Castle lowered his head to her chest, flicking her hard nipple with his tongue before gently sucking on it. He showed its twin the same respect and then moved down her body to lightly nip and kiss along the soft skin of her abdomen. When he tucked his fingers into the waistband of her pants, she lifted slightly, allowing him to pull them down her long legs. Again, he seemed thrilled to find her without underwear.
“You are amazing, Kate. I’ve wanted to touch you for so long, to show you what you mean to me.”
She moaned, needing to believe. “Please do it, Castle. Show me.”
He pushed her knees further apart, opening her up more than she already was. Kate felt overwhelmingly vulnerable and safe at the same time, nervous about such a big step, but knowing that he wouldn’t take it for granted. Castle sprinkled kisses across the insides of her thighs and nuzzled her skin with his nose. It was so like him to rush impulsively into every other damn part of her life, but take his time when it came to this. She needed him, but he seemed content to proceed reverently, every moment one of delighted worship.
Finally he moved to her center. He carefully spread her lips apart with one hand, able to see the glistening arousal that had already pooled there. He took a deep breath, an attempt to contain his own excitement, and dragged a finger from his other hand through her wetness. When he brought it back to his mouth, tasting her on his fingertip, she trembled. It had only heightened his own appetite; he bowed his head, and with amazing grace, he offered up a prayer of forever with his tongue.
Kate’s head fell back against the leather cushion and she writhed as her partner feasted between her legs. It seemed like his mouth was everywhere at once. His attempts to hold her hips in place as he rhythmically dipped his tongue deeper inside her drove her to the edge, the lack of control intensifying her reactions. Castle must have noticed that she was getting closer because he returned to her clit, perfectly working the sensitive nerves with his lips and tongue. He managed to keep the pressure on her, even as she began bucking into him in silent pleasure, gripping the arms of the chair with all her strength. The orgasm left her breathless and he let her recover while he slowly rose to stretch his legs.
She looked up to find him surprisingly less smug than she would have expected, especially given the way she was still panting. Instead, his look was one of adoration, and he held out his hand to her with a small smile. When Kate stood, welcomed into his embrace, she kissed him and hummed at the taste of herself on his lips.
Castle pulled away and she groaned in disappointment. She didn’t miss the amused look on his face.
“As much I appreciate the poetry of making love to you in my office, where I’ve spent hours with your extraordinary alter ego, my bedroom is just through that doorway. It may be significantly more comfortable.”
No more words were necessary and he led her into his room. The light from his desk shone through, and Castle quickly adjusted the covers on his bed to make room for them. She came up behind him and waited for him to turn, so that she could help him out of his pants, eager to feel him pressed up against her. Kate hurried to unfasten his belt and jeans, letting them drop to the floor as she reached for the bulge in his boxers. His hips involuntarily jerked into her hand when she palmed him, before rubbing him softly through the material. Then she slid the boxers down and let him kick them off with his socks and pants.
He looked like he wanted her lie down first, but she just shook her head and pushed him onto the bed. “My turn.”
Kate crawled on top of him, kissing him briefly before slithering down his body. She curled her long fingers around his length and looked up to him, maintaining eye contact as she took his swollen tip into her mouth. Overwhelmed by the sensation, his eyes slammed shut and he focused on not thrusting into her. She found a steady pace, twisting her hand along his shaft while she took him as deep as possible. While she knew he wouldn’t be able to handle this for very long, she wanted to give him some of the same pleasure she had experienced minutes ago. When Castle spoke, it came as no surprise.
“Stop. Kate…I can’t…”
She released him with a pop and moved up to straddle him. By then, they were both too far along for any teasing, so she simply positioned him at her entrance and sank onto him in one heavenly motion. Kate stilled and gave both of them a moment to adjust to the feeling. Castle filled her completely, physically and emotionally, and she couldn’t remember if there had ever been a time a man had touched her so deeply. Before the feelings could choke her, she started to rock against him, allowing his hands help guide her hips.
Kate leaned down to let her tongue dance with his, moaning as her clit brushed against his skin every time she slid forward. Normally she was more aggressive in bed, frantic and eager to explode, but Castle had kept everything so slow and tender in his office, that she was reveling in her responsiveness to each tiny movement now. She noticed things about herself that she never had before; the tingle of her nipples when they made contact with his chest, the fluttering of her muscles as he glided through her slick heat, the warmth of her skin under the calloused fingertips that were typing love letters along her body.
There would be plenty of time for her kind of sex, but right now, Richard Castle’s lovemaking was shattering her soul. When her motions got erratic, the stimulation against her center bringing Kate closer to her peak, he reached for her ass and pressed her against him. Whispered words of encouragement fell like blessings against her temple and she knew she was going to come. She bit down on his shoulder as she let go, muffling her scream as she clenched tightly around his length, pulling him deeper. Castle followed her with a groan, thrusting upward as he emptied inside her.
Neither of them was ready to separate, their hearts beating against each other as they calmed. She tucked her face into his neck and kissed him there, tasting the salt on his skin, as he ran his hands up and down her smooth back. Kate could feel him soften inside her, but the intimacy of their connection hadn’t lessened. She wasn’t sure how long it was before she moved to nibble on his earlobe and break their silence.
“So, maybe if you need an FBI character, it could be an ugly old man whose smart board and gadgets don’t work so well?”
He couldn’t help but laugh.
“Deal.”