Movie review - A Dog's Breakfast, part two
For the next "haunting" trick, Patrick finds Ryan's watch in his breakfast cereal box. The inscription on the back tells us Marilyn's nickname for Ryan is "Pepe". I can't imagine the reason why, and they never explain it.
Patrick tries to convince Marilyn that Ryan has left to look up an old girlfriend. She's not buying it, so he attempts to set her up with a guy he met through an internet dating site, DateMePlease.org...aaaand, enter Chris Judge.
Patrick cooks them dinner and hangs around acting as waiter, wearing what looks like senior prom leftovers. He gripes to Chris about how Marilyn has squandered her potential by going to make-up artistry school instead of doing something important, like "nuclear physicism". She reveals he jumped off the roof when he was 27, wearing a cape, a mask, and tights. Patrick has issues with reality.
After dinner, Patrick hears noises again and goes downstairs to find an outline of a body on the carpet, drawn supposedly in blood. Mars is busy licking it up, so it's more likely something else.
Several attempts at cleaning it up later:
Finally it's been 72 hours, so Marilyn is going to the police to file a missing person's report. She wants to talk to Ryan's aunt, who happens to be a police detective. Patrick protests, but is overruled. He also finally admits that Ryan wasn't so bad, and was kind of a nice guy. As soon as she leaves, Patrick starts hearing Ryan's voice again, calling his name and accusing him of murder. It's kind of hard to tell from the cap, but the book he's reading is Poe's The Telltale Heart.
Patrick barricades his room, but doesn't do a very good job of it.
Ryan's body, still wrapped in the rug, shows up again, resulting in a cute back-and-forth where Patrick freaks out and talks to himself. This time, Patrick dumps the body in the lake swamp. However, not only does the body show back up again in the house, but it brings along some crabs and what looks like a mudskipper.
He faints. Marilyn claims she brought in the fish and crabs for dinner.
The next morning, Ryan's aunt - Detective Morris, who speaks in a Scottish accent and is very obviously Paul McGillion in drag - shows up, while Patrick is taking a bubble bath.
He tries to escape through the window but ends up naked on the ground while being questioned by the detective. No wonder Paul joked about how surreal it was to stand there having to stare down at David's naked butt, while in drag himself. *snicker*
Ryan as Detective Morris questions Marilyn and Patrick about Ryan's disappearance, accusing Marilyn of committing murder in order to cash in on the insurance policy Ryan's TV series provided. She proceeds to search the house, finding the disturbed ground, electric ladder, and the body cutout in the carpet. She orders them both not to leave the house (calling Patrick "sweetcheeks" and getting all up in his personal space).
This time, the body (still wrapped in the floor rug) shows up in Patrick's bed and he finally confesses to Marilyn.
Marilyn: "You killed him?!"
Patrick: "Not on purpose."
Marilyn: "You killed him on accident while trying to kill him on purpose."
She yells at him for a bit, then has a go at getting rid of the body herself. She takes a more definitive approach, using power tools, because "little bits can't drag themselves out of the lake and up the hill."
And what do you do with all those little bits? Why, feed them to the dog, of course.
Finally Patrick snaps and asks her why she's acting so callously, saying that turning one's soul-mate into Kibbles'n Bits isn't exactly the proper actions of a grieving fiancé, let alone one who's vegetarian.
Patrick: "He had a face! He had a cute, fuzzy face."
He says he's sorry, admitting that Ryan was a keeper and he ruined that for her. She smiles and calls for Ryan, who of course walks in still in drag (showing off his very nice legs in the process). He pops his fake breasts with a nail file, rips off his wig, and wipes off his lipstick, while Patrick watches in increasing stages of horror. They explain that Ryan's not dead, that they choreographed everything to give Patrick "a little nudge", b/c they knew he'd never come around to liking Ryan on his own. They faked the ladder fall, and Marilyn pretending to go for groceries while really keeping Patrick distracted on the phone while she put "death" makeup on Ryan. The "body" Patrick buried was an inflatable sex man, who Marilyn filled with water.
Ryan: "Marilyn had him lying around; he was perfect."
Marilyn: "Yes, yes he was."
*both look embarrassed*
Marilyn: "Uh, perfect for staging my honey's death."
Ryan confesses he was the detective.
Patrick: "You saw me naked."
Ryan (as Det. Morris): *grins* "Oh yeah."
I love those two.
Patrick: *points at Marilyn* "You. You are evil." *hugs Ryan back* "And you, you're like Scottish evil!"
All is forgiven, hugs are exchanged, and they all settle in to watch Starcrossed.
Even better, Patrick finally changes clothes into something other than that dreadful sweatervest. However, all the surprises aren't over. Ryan's sister Elise is coming to meet Patrick. Patrick is immediately smitten and she seems quite keen on him as well, something both Marilyn and Ryan balk at. Marilyn whisks away Elise, while Ryan takes Patrick outside, hiding the penguin behind his back.
He leads him out to the swamp as the credits play.
Overall, I'm very impressed with this film. It was very enjoyable, making me laugh out loud or at least chuckle at almost every scene, and I was never bored. It didn't try to be too clever or too edgy, but told a good, old-fashioned funny story in a minimalist way. DH has said they made the film for around $120,000 - almost unheard of in modern day film-making. It's amazing how much was donated by the Stargate crew and how much fan support has really helped this happen. The great thing is that it won't even take all that many sales for them to make a profit, so I hope it does well enough for David to make more films himself.
The acting was very good in all cases, though of course it's totally David's movie. He's in fine form here, running around like a lunatic and displaying all those weird personality quirks he perfected while playing characters like McKay, Grant Jansky from Traders, and Dave from Nothing. Kate Hewlett does a very good job, and though her wardrobe is a bit weird IMO she manages to look good in it. Paul is hilarious and just as multifaceted as David - he has to play Ryan the well-meaning fiancé, Colt the overacting space soap character, and his aunt the Scottish police detective. He does a terrific job and proves he can't afford to be shy with David as a friend and director.
The cameos by Chris Judge and Rachel Luttrell were cute though mostly limited to short scenes. I'm not sure who the girl is who plays Elise, but everyone else is involved with Stargate in one way or another.
As to the quality of the iTunes file, I'd say it's passable though certainly not as good as the DVD will be. The film was shot entirely in HD, so the DVD should be amazing picture quality and well worth the $20. However, considering how limited iTunes files are (can only be played through iTunes or Quicktime, can't be burned to DVD, etc), I don't think the file is worth the $14.99 price tag unless one simply cannot wait to see the movie. I was unable to go to any of the screenings, so to me it was worth it to avoid the wait until September. However, I'd love to see some feedback from those who bought the Unbox file from Amazon, to compare quality and limitations of the files.
I've taken what screencaps I can, though I doubt I'll be posting these around to too many places. As the iTunes movie player doesn't have a capture feature, all of these are print screen captures pasted into Photoshop, and the quality isn't terribly good all of the time due to the finicky pause button on the player. You can find the caps at my Photobucket account, free for the snagging or icon-making or whatever.
Part one of the review found here. My previous reviews of David's movies are all listed here in my memories.
Patrick tries to convince Marilyn that Ryan has left to look up an old girlfriend. She's not buying it, so he attempts to set her up with a guy he met through an internet dating site, DateMePlease.org...aaaand, enter Chris Judge.
Patrick cooks them dinner and hangs around acting as waiter, wearing what looks like senior prom leftovers. He gripes to Chris about how Marilyn has squandered her potential by going to make-up artistry school instead of doing something important, like "nuclear physicism". She reveals he jumped off the roof when he was 27, wearing a cape, a mask, and tights. Patrick has issues with reality.
After dinner, Patrick hears noises again and goes downstairs to find an outline of a body on the carpet, drawn supposedly in blood. Mars is busy licking it up, so it's more likely something else.
Several attempts at cleaning it up later:
Finally it's been 72 hours, so Marilyn is going to the police to file a missing person's report. She wants to talk to Ryan's aunt, who happens to be a police detective. Patrick protests, but is overruled. He also finally admits that Ryan wasn't so bad, and was kind of a nice guy. As soon as she leaves, Patrick starts hearing Ryan's voice again, calling his name and accusing him of murder. It's kind of hard to tell from the cap, but the book he's reading is Poe's The Telltale Heart.
Patrick barricades his room, but doesn't do a very good job of it.
Ryan's body, still wrapped in the rug, shows up again, resulting in a cute back-and-forth where Patrick freaks out and talks to himself. This time, Patrick dumps the body in the lake swamp. However, not only does the body show back up again in the house, but it brings along some crabs and what looks like a mudskipper.
He faints. Marilyn claims she brought in the fish and crabs for dinner.
The next morning, Ryan's aunt - Detective Morris, who speaks in a Scottish accent and is very obviously Paul McGillion in drag - shows up, while Patrick is taking a bubble bath.
He tries to escape through the window but ends up naked on the ground while being questioned by the detective. No wonder Paul joked about how surreal it was to stand there having to stare down at David's naked butt, while in drag himself. *snicker*
Ryan as Detective Morris questions Marilyn and Patrick about Ryan's disappearance, accusing Marilyn of committing murder in order to cash in on the insurance policy Ryan's TV series provided. She proceeds to search the house, finding the disturbed ground, electric ladder, and the body cutout in the carpet. She orders them both not to leave the house (calling Patrick "sweetcheeks" and getting all up in his personal space).
This time, the body (still wrapped in the floor rug) shows up in Patrick's bed and he finally confesses to Marilyn.
Marilyn: "You killed him?!"
Patrick: "Not on purpose."
Marilyn: "You killed him on accident while trying to kill him on purpose."
She yells at him for a bit, then has a go at getting rid of the body herself. She takes a more definitive approach, using power tools, because "little bits can't drag themselves out of the lake and up the hill."
And what do you do with all those little bits? Why, feed them to the dog, of course.
Finally Patrick snaps and asks her why she's acting so callously, saying that turning one's soul-mate into Kibbles'n Bits isn't exactly the proper actions of a grieving fiancé, let alone one who's vegetarian.
Patrick: "He had a face! He had a cute, fuzzy face."
He says he's sorry, admitting that Ryan was a keeper and he ruined that for her. She smiles and calls for Ryan, who of course walks in still in drag (showing off his very nice legs in the process). He pops his fake breasts with a nail file, rips off his wig, and wipes off his lipstick, while Patrick watches in increasing stages of horror. They explain that Ryan's not dead, that they choreographed everything to give Patrick "a little nudge", b/c they knew he'd never come around to liking Ryan on his own. They faked the ladder fall, and Marilyn pretending to go for groceries while really keeping Patrick distracted on the phone while she put "death" makeup on Ryan. The "body" Patrick buried was an inflatable sex man, who Marilyn filled with water.
Ryan: "Marilyn had him lying around; he was perfect."
Marilyn: "Yes, yes he was."
*both look embarrassed*
Marilyn: "Uh, perfect for staging my honey's death."
Ryan confesses he was the detective.
Patrick: "You saw me naked."
Ryan (as Det. Morris): *grins* "Oh yeah."
I love those two.
Patrick: *points at Marilyn* "You. You are evil." *hugs Ryan back* "And you, you're like Scottish evil!"
All is forgiven, hugs are exchanged, and they all settle in to watch Starcrossed.
Even better, Patrick finally changes clothes into something other than that dreadful sweatervest. However, all the surprises aren't over. Ryan's sister Elise is coming to meet Patrick. Patrick is immediately smitten and she seems quite keen on him as well, something both Marilyn and Ryan balk at. Marilyn whisks away Elise, while Ryan takes Patrick outside, hiding the penguin behind his back.
He leads him out to the swamp as the credits play.
Overall, I'm very impressed with this film. It was very enjoyable, making me laugh out loud or at least chuckle at almost every scene, and I was never bored. It didn't try to be too clever or too edgy, but told a good, old-fashioned funny story in a minimalist way. DH has said they made the film for around $120,000 - almost unheard of in modern day film-making. It's amazing how much was donated by the Stargate crew and how much fan support has really helped this happen. The great thing is that it won't even take all that many sales for them to make a profit, so I hope it does well enough for David to make more films himself.
The acting was very good in all cases, though of course it's totally David's movie. He's in fine form here, running around like a lunatic and displaying all those weird personality quirks he perfected while playing characters like McKay, Grant Jansky from Traders, and Dave from Nothing. Kate Hewlett does a very good job, and though her wardrobe is a bit weird IMO she manages to look good in it. Paul is hilarious and just as multifaceted as David - he has to play Ryan the well-meaning fiancé, Colt the overacting space soap character, and his aunt the Scottish police detective. He does a terrific job and proves he can't afford to be shy with David as a friend and director.
The cameos by Chris Judge and Rachel Luttrell were cute though mostly limited to short scenes. I'm not sure who the girl is who plays Elise, but everyone else is involved with Stargate in one way or another.
As to the quality of the iTunes file, I'd say it's passable though certainly not as good as the DVD will be. The film was shot entirely in HD, so the DVD should be amazing picture quality and well worth the $20. However, considering how limited iTunes files are (can only be played through iTunes or Quicktime, can't be burned to DVD, etc), I don't think the file is worth the $14.99 price tag unless one simply cannot wait to see the movie. I was unable to go to any of the screenings, so to me it was worth it to avoid the wait until September. However, I'd love to see some feedback from those who bought the Unbox file from Amazon, to compare quality and limitations of the files.
I've taken what screencaps I can, though I doubt I'll be posting these around to too many places. As the iTunes movie player doesn't have a capture feature, all of these are print screen captures pasted into Photoshop, and the quality isn't terribly good all of the time due to the finicky pause button on the player. You can find the caps at my Photobucket account, free for the snagging or icon-making or whatever.
Part one of the review found here. My previous reviews of David's movies are all listed here in my memories.