Caitlin Gowdey was the only one I knew who still updated her livejournal...and she deleted it.. is there any reason to keep checking this? Someone better start posting about their life. lol
I am movin' and grovin'. I wish I were movin' straight to the top; alas, not true. Today, the TA told me "Out of curiosity, why are you in this class?" Of course, I took offense. Why? Don't I have the right to an education? Do I really appear that stupid? Surely, there must be people more idiotic than me in the world. Hell, there must be idiots in my class too! I can't seem like a moron! Then it hit me.
Maybe he is right, maybe I am not as smart as I would like to believe. I will never be good enough, not even for myself. There is no comfort in this truth. The only way I could cope was to move, and shake, and run until my body was too exhausted to run anymore. Due to some physical implications (perhaps a warning to slow down, and breathe, I mean really breathe) that was also taken away from me. I'm in pain. Physically and emotionally. Nothing gives me comfort, nor pleasure anymore.
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Then it hit me.
Maybe he is right, maybe I am not as smart as I would like to believe. I will never be good enough, not even for myself. There is no comfort in this truth.
The only way I could cope was to move, and shake, and run until my body was too exhausted to run anymore. Due to some physical implications (perhaps a warning to slow down, and breathe, I mean really breathe) that was also taken away from me.
I'm in pain. Physically and emotionally. Nothing gives me comfort, nor pleasure anymore.
My life is a tumultuous shithole. Truly,
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