Disjointed part 2
Title: Disjointed
Pairings: KangTeuk, EunHae, ShiHanChul, RyeoMin some others on the sidelines
Summary: SuJu has never had the best of luck, but when something truly awful happens, who will be able to pick up the pieces and carry on?
Author: Cassie
Chapters: 2/?
Rating: PG13 (this installment)
Genre: Angst
WARNING: mention of members deaths
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own any of the SuJu boys (which may be fortunate for them :P)
It is still dark and cold. Unusually cold. Why is there a space beside him where Eeteuk should be?
He rubs his eyes and yawns, he can hear quiet voices in the dark, murmurs, disbelief. Shock. Footsteps falling hard across the laminate floor.
He groans and rolls over. The phone is still on the bed, it’s light causes his eyes to ache. He picks it up.
“What?” he groans into the speaker, not even sure if he is forming words or just grunting into the phone. Who would call at this time anyway? What time is it….
Suddenly all thoughts are cut off. “Sorry?” confusion, realisation, fear.
“Teukie…” quick goodbyes, cut-off condolences and he’s up. Bare feet against cold floors. The dorm is silent, unusually still, cold. He wraps his arms around himself, rubs his shoulders hoping to beat the chill. The lights are all out and for a moment he wonders whether Teukie would… no… he wouldn’t. What made him think like that? But where…
He hears a noise, the familiar rattle of the loose toilet seat in the bathroom that no-one ever remembered to report and everyone whined about when they dropped by. Hankyung had laughed last time he came. He and Heechul had made a bet that it still wouldn’t be fixed the next time they visited, Eeteuk had looked scandalised and had sworn to report it… but as usual had forgotten with all the other, more important things he had to remember.
He feels a knot in his throat and his stomach churn. He knocks on the bathroom door. No reply. Instead he pushes the door open and has to bite back his tears at the sight.
Eeteuk is hunched over, shaking, vomiting, sobbing, but all Kangin can see are the scars down his back. He swallows and kneels on the cold floor behind the smaller man. He reaches out, but he’s not sure what to do. He’s never really been very good at comforting, that’s Eeteuk’s role, to be the gentle comforting one. Kangin keeps them all under control, reminds them where to be and when, and is strong for them when they need him to be, but he doesn’t know what to do now.
He bites his lip and reaches out again, unsure whether it’s to comfort himself or his lover. And the minute he touches that smooth skin, the warmth, he feels better, because at least they are here. He knows its selfish, that he shouldn’t think that way but he does. He’s almost lost him once. He’d die if it happened again. He tries not to think about the others, about the ones that wont come home and those that don’t yet know.
He wonders if they are dreaming about them. He knows about the presents stashed in the bottom of one of Heechul’s closets, back in the second dorm. He was there when they were bought. Thinking about Heechul caused him to choke and he could feel the tears begin to trickle down his cheeks. He pulls Eeteuk closer and is relieved to feel the other boy give in and lean on him. Warm skin against warm skin and he tries not to think
“Teukie…” He whispers, but he’s not sure whether he says it aloud or not.
“They’re dead…” the whisper is hoarse, broken and he barely hears it. It doesn’t sound like his Eeteuk. How do you reply to that? What is he supposed to say? He can’t take the hurt back? He knows that he can’t make it better, not right now, maybe not ever.
“I know.” His own voice surprises him, it’s strange, like Teukie’s, broken.
Eeteuk turns and holds on to his arms too tight. He knows that there will be bruises, but he doesn’t care. He needs the contact, he needs to feel, to know that the other man is there. He refuses to look at him, but that’s OK, Kangin doesn’t want him to see. He doesn’t want him to see the pain and the sadness and the sheet guilt and relief that are eating him alive. Not until he has more control.
“I have to tell them.” It’s a whisper, half a question, half a statement and so full of pain that he can feel himself starting to cry again.
“I know.”
“Together?”
He swallows and nods. Taking one of those delicate, pale hands in his own and squeezes. He feels the hand squeeze back and is reassured by its warmth and hidden strength. He laces their fingers together and pulls them both to their feet. They are both shaking, and he’s not sure if it’s shock, cold or the anticipation of what they are about to do. He stands back and watches as Eeteuk flushes the toilet, making the seat rattle, washes his face and rinses out his mouth.
They leave the safety of the bathroom and stand in the hall together. Wrapped in each others arms, not sure where to start. Kangin glances at the clock in the hallway.
It’s 4:45 and he has to break his friends’ hearts.
.