Maybe you're skimming the headlines on the morning paper or studying the constellations in an observatory. You'll come across it eventually, your horoscope--a little section of the day's dos and don'ts buried under the editorial columns, or perhaps you can read them yourself as they're written in the stars. But it's just astrology, right? It's not something to take seriously. So what if your future is written in the stars?
Note: This is primarily an R18 meme, but G-rated shenanigans are also welcome. Hit up the
Random Number Generator (1-13) to determine your horoscope:
1 Aries ♈ Meteor impact; you have 24 hours to live; how will you spend them? In the company of this stranger? Or is it someone you've known forever? Either way, it's your last day, so make it count.
2 Taurus ♉ Earthquake; you're dangling from a crack in the ground, just out of reach of your possible savior. They reach out to take your hand but can't muster the strength to haul you up. Will you persevere or urge them to let go?
3 Gemini ♊ Evil twin; you are accused of a crime you didn't commit; this person says it was you, someone who looked exactly like you. They demand vengeance. What to do?
4 Cancer ♋ Zombie apocalypse; you've killed the ones closest to you and find yourself in the company of an infected individual. Put them out of their misery now or wait for them to turn?
5 Leo ♌ Blazing inferno; you caused it, but the one you saved thinks you're the hero.
6 Virgo ♍ Deformity; whether through an accident or some other cause, you've now lost your best talent (to wield a sword, shoot lasers out of your eyes, etc.).
7 Libra ♎ Incarceration; you are on death row and are allowed one last conjugal visit.
8 Scorpio ♏ Poison; you are heavily aphro'd, but if you give into temptation, death is what awaits. They do say lust is poison...
9 Ophiuchus ⛎ Anything goes!
10 Sagittarius ♐ Hunting; you are on the run, and someone's tasked to hunt you down no matter what.
11 Capricorn ♑ Vengeance; someone you stepped on when you were an up and comer has come to exact revenge. Maybe you took what was rightfully theirs: lover, job, etc.
12 Aquarius ♒ Outer space; you're both sharing an oxygen canister with a limited supply.
13 Pisces ♓ Drowning; wake up to someone giving you mouth-to-mouth.
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