(no subject)
Title: "The World Wide WHAT? (Part Six)"
Rating: R
Pairing: C/Z
Synopsis: When does one admit to their own insanity?
Links to first five chapters: One/Two/Three/Four/Five
The only thing Zeke saw the next morning was shocking pink. His eyelashes fluttered madly, scraping against something; the bright pink wasn’t a figment of his sleepiness, it was a note. Stuck on his forehead.
“Z- tried to wake you up, must have passed out. Silly git. I’ll call you before I have to head back to school. -C”
Zeke yawned heavily, blurring the note with the wet forming in his eyes. He grabbed his mouth and struggled with his sleep, wanting so desperately to return. The best thing to do was eat, so he made his dreary way to the kitchen, hoping he had some eggs. Eggs and buttered toast sounded great right now.
It turned out to be his lucky day; the eggs supposedly expired the week before, but that didn’t matter. He had just enough butter for both, making slightly burnt toast, just the way he liked it. Once finished he went to the table; he stopped however, glancing back into the sitting room, where the computer sat buzzing away. May as well, he thought. Haven’t got anything else to do.
He trudged his way back into the room, slapping his breakfast down on top of the books next to the monitor. The screen’s bouncing ball disappeared as he moved the mouse and pulled up his browser. Big surprise to where he felt like going…
Casey’s page came up, and the feeling in his stomach lightened in seeing that he was in fact, once again online. Zeke immediately pressed the button to chat and waited the small moment for the window to load.
CreatureVIIk: hey
MIT_Meanderer: Hey back
CreatureVIIk: miss me?
Zeke took a bite of eggs as Casey typed away…
MIT_Meanderer: As always. J
Zeke smiled; he wondered at whom Casey pictured him as; some beach bum surfer? That’s how Zeke saw everyone in California, anyways.
CreatureVIIk: when do you go back to school?
MIT_Meanderer: This coming Fri. I don’t want to though.
Zeke sighed. Casey still felt the same pangs he did the night before, though he really didn’t know why. What was all that talk about wanting to be here, instead of out and about, learning at some grand institution?
CreatureVIIk: lol, I never went to college. Sounded too much like hard work. ;)
MIT_Meanderer: I dunno. Considering applying for schools back home- I just wanna do photography, fuck physics. My brain is up for it, but not what I want.
CreatureVIIk: but you’re taking photography at mit, right? I say just stay where you are, relax.
MIT_Meanderer: There’s a lot here that I want though- that I can’t take with me back to school.
Zeke blinked in confusion.
CreatureVIIk: whats that>?
MIT_Meanderer: feels stupid to say. Kinda don’t want to.
CreatureVIIk: you can tell me anything.
MIT_Meanderer: can I? I don’t know you. Maybe you’re someone trolling around, having a laugh. How do I know who I can say anything to, I’ve never HAD anyone to say anything to.
If Zeke hadn’t felt self conscious enough before, the squirming in his stomach right now gave him reason to feel such things. He figured,
with much distaste that he should just play along as always.
CreatureVIIk: you’re right, ynow. Same goes for you. How do I know you’re not some kid screaming for attention? You
could talk to a hundred guys in the night, sayin the same stuff you’ve said to me. Im probably no one special. Right?
He wondered how good a move this was; Casey was taking his time in typing back, and he wondered if it was out of anger or if Casey was really thinking hard on what to type in reply.
MIT_Meanderer: sorry… I’m just in a mood this morn. Didn’t mean to take it out on you.
CreatureVIIk: s’all right. So what’s up? Talk to me, babe. J
MIT_Meanderer: I don’t even know myself. There’s just a lot I’m thinking on right now, having to do with school and home, everything. Looks like my mom and dad are splitting up, heard them arguing this morn about it.
Zeke sighed. Great.
CreatureVIIk: sorry to hear that, babe. I know what its like. Keep talking, get it outta your system. I didn’t do that when my folks split, wish I had.
MIT_Meanderer: thanks… kinda wish you were here right now. Gets lonely in this small town. I’ve been lucky though, getting to hang out with an old friend of mine. He’s great, takes my mind off of everything.
Zeke smiled, despite the fact that he was sitting right here reading this.
CreatureVIIk: everyone needs SOMEONE like that.
MIT_Meanderer: lol, he might think differently on things if he knew what went on in my mind. He already knows my ‘preferences’, and treats them just fine. Might go differently if he knew to what extent they reached.
Okay… NOW Zeke was definitely shaking. It took him a moment to reply to this, wondering if he truly wanted to know exactly what Casey talked about.
CreatureVIIk: what… you like him or something?
Great… big… pause…
MIT_Meanderer: yes.
Zeke was struck deaf, dumb and blind. Oh God… the sudden rush of every emotion he could hold- excitement, frustration, even anger, rose to his surface and wouldn’t let go.
CreatureVIIk: shit... can yo holds on a sec?. I hear someoned at my dor
MIT_Meanderer: what?
CreatureVIIk: brb
He sat back in his chair and clamped his hands over his face. His typos seemed to speak for him, if anything else. Peeking through his fingers he saw the dormant window, sitting and waiting for him to keep typing. He realized he couldn’t, at least not to keep up the conversation. His eggs and half eaten toast were going to end up in the trash now, his stomach doing flip-flops as he returned to type.
CreatureVIIk: I forgot… my friends are here. We’re going surfing.
MIT_Meanderer: oh. Okay. Talk soon then.
Casey was gone before Zeke could close the window.
****
The insistent knocking on his front door woke Zeke, making him realize that he’d actually fallen asleep instead of just lying there,
thinking. He didn’t know when his mind had stopped racing and shut down, but his body had probably needed it badly. Now it seemed
like someone other than his own self required his presence, looking towards the hallway.
He got up on shaky legs, shuffling his way to the front door. A shadow of someone stood past the dusty curtains on the small window, and he knew just by that who it was. Had he made too much noise already, or could he feign not being home?
He opened the door anyways, forcing a yawn to try and calm his nerves. Casey stood there, hair dripping and face soaked. Zeke frowned and looked past him, seeing rain coming down in torrents. “It’s raining?” he mumbled sleepily. Casey turned back to the sidewalk then back to Zeke.
“Wondered if you could give me a ride.”
Zeke blinked. “Huh?”
“A ride. Can you give me a ride?”
****
“Come with me.”
Zeke watched dumbly as Casey stepped out of the car, meeting up with the elements once again. Blinking wildly, Zeke opened his door and got out, staring ahead. “Case? Why are we here?” he asked the boy, retreating towards the football field of their old high school. Casey paused, turning around.
“Just follow me. No questions.”
All right, this was just fuckin’a confusing now. Zeke was trembling fiercely, but not from the cold rain splattering over his head and neck. He ran to catch up to Casey, who walked in great strides and purpose. “Case-“
“I said no questions,”
“But… come the fuck ON, Case, what the hell are we doing out here in the freezing cold of winter while it’s RAINING for fucks sake??” Zeke asked angrily, shoving his hands under his arms.
“Weather’s fine to me,”
“All right,” Zeke said with finality, stopping. Casey now stopped with him, turning to look at him as Zeke shook his head. “I have no idea what we’re doing, and frankly, you’re freaking me out right now.”
They stood for a full minute, staring at each other mutely. Zeke watched as drops of water hit Casey’s brow, trickling slowly to his lashes. He’d blink the drops away, nearly hypnotizing him. “Come on, Zeke. I’ll tell you when we get there.”
For fucks… fine. Zeke continued walking with him, cold frosty grass slapping his ankles now. Looking ahead he saw the field and bleachers and slowed his steps, wondering why in hell… oh… no, fuck no.
Casey was now at the bottom of the bleachers, going to its side. He leaned back on the metal bars, waiting as Zeke slowly made his way to him. Swallowing hard, Zeke stopped a few feet in front of him. “Yea?” was all he could say. Casey’s expression was unreadable as he reached into his coat pocket and took something out; Zeke didn’t have time to see what it was before it was thrown to him; he reached up with both hands and caught it before smacking him in the face.
Cold metal… looking down into his trembling hands he found a pair of handcuffs, glistening with drops of rain. He glanced up to Casey, back to the cuffs… then set his gaze on Casey hard. “What’s this about?”
“Next time you’re in Cali, try telling me the right time,”
Zeke stilled inside, swearing that his heart had stopped beating as he watched Casey slide underneath one of the metal beams of the bleachers. He stood up straight and looked back at Zeke, giving him a look that stated ‘come on in’ quite clearly. Zeke walked over, his feet feeling prickly as if they’d fallen asleep. “Case…” Zeke mumbled, trying to smile as he looked past the bars to him. He fucking knew. “What… are you talking about?”
“It’s dry in here. Come on.”
“No.”
Casey stopped; Zeke could only see his head, shoulders and feet now past the structure he moved into. He was in fight-or-flight mode now, scared beyond reasoning. There was no doubt what Casey had brought him here for and fuck all…
He was turning away quickly, hoping Casey’s back was turned. He’d leave him here in the rain, waiting for the rain to clear so he could walk back home. Zeke felt a little pang of guilt, but felt that there was no other choice as his steps quickened. He didn’t even hear the sloshing footsteps coming from behind; a hand grabbed his shoulder, making him falter yet not stop him. He brushed it away, growling deep in his throat.
“I’ll give you a ride home Case, let’s GO-“
“STOP, Zeke!!” Casey pleaded, grabbing his shoulder again. The small amount of force was enough to almost make Zeke’s feet slide out from under him; he steadied himself with difficulty, anger rising up in his chest as he whirled around to face him.
“You fucking played me!! You knew all the time that it was me, didn’t you??” Zeke bellowed directly into Casey’s face. Casey flinched the tiniest bit, eyelashes fluttering yet keeping his gaze firm on Zeke’s reddened face. Zeke huffed heavily, fighting the cold on his skin with his internal fury, warming him. “You knew all the fucking time.”
“Just like you did, Zeke.” Casey replied quietly. “Just like you did.”
“Knew WHAT?”
“YOU came to ME, Zeke. Fuck all, you come across my little corner of the web and wanna look? That’s just fucking fine. Did I ASK you to come by for a ‘chat’? NO. I didn’t, did I? That was all YOU.”
Zeke shook his head and chuckled nervously. “Is that what you tell everyone? Is that what you tell them, that it’s their own damn fault for perusing your little place and getting roped into talking to you?”
“Roped??” Casey said incredulously, mouth gaping open in a shocked smile. “Oh YES, that’s right. ‘Come look at me, and don’t you fucking dare THINK of not chatting with me’! Yes Zeke, I admit it, I was the one who told the site manager to trick everyone into pressing the chat button, disguising it as ‘Click here for one million dollars’. I’m so fucking sorry I tricked you like that, Zeke. SO fucking sorry.”
“You love it, don’t you?” Zeke blurted. He wasn’t thinking right now; the combination of chilled water falling onto his skull and the fact that he was still holding the handcuffs was enough to make his brain melt. “Little Casey Connor, goin’ off to college and thinking that EVERYONE just forgot that he was some puny dork from school, setting himself up with some website for everyone to see! What, do you like the idea of someone… like Gabe coming across it? Think he’ll think ‘damn, that Casey, wish I’d had a piece o’ that’?”
“I could care fucking less what Gabe happens to think of me. He can try to suck my dick to make up for every beat down he gave me, and I’d kick him in the face when he finishes me off,” Casey said, voice seething with rage, his eyes narrowed at Zeke. In the small pause made now Zeke was stunned. He’d never heard Casey talk like that, ever. The old Casey made one comeback to whoever bumped into him on purpose and got his face beat in for it, and nothing else was said about it. Casey broke the silence, taking one step to Zeke with anger flaring in his eyes. “But it wasn’t Gabe who showed up the other night, was it?”
“Wasn’t me, either.” Zeke said coldly, crossing his arms to keep from hitting Casey right now. It would be so easy; one hard punch, leave, get to the car and drive off. Not care. “Fuck all if I’m curious, Case. Jesus Christ, do you take EVERYTHING this seriously??”
“When I think it’s serious, yea, I do.”
“Well it’s not.”
“Tell me that then. Tell me right now that it was all some weird slip up when you clicked that chat button,” Casey demanded, making Zeke laugh nervously.
“So I wanted to chat with you, what of it??” Zeke stated. “Anything to make you feel golden and wanted. Right?”
“Why the fuck would you give a shit?”
“Hey look, Case- I gave you what you wanted. Some nameless, faceless fuckhead giving you some random thrill. Hey, just like last night, right?? Who’d you talk to LAST night, didja ever find out, eh??” Zeke said. “Betcha didn’t. Betcha took advantage of me falling asleep and jacked off right then and there. Face it, Case. I’m no one fucking special.” He watched intently as Casey sighed deeply.
“His name was Jack, and he goes to MIT.”
“Great. Set up a date and place, have some coffee. Have him nail you to some random wall.” Zeke replied callously, shrugging.
“I told him I was taken.”
“Stupid thing to do.”
“FUCK you, Zeke. All right??” Casey suddenly yelled, coming inches to his face. “Since fucking WHEN do you want to hold someone after sex?? Every particle of my brain tells me you’ve NEVER done that, no matter how many girls you’ve brought home! What, did you LIE when you said you’d hold me? Hmm? TELL me that and I’ll walk. We’ll go back to your car and you can drop me off, I’ll go back to school and live life just as I did before you crawled into my own little crawlspace.”
“So you CAUGHT ME in a MOMENT, Casey!!” Zeke bellowed, making Casey have to step back slightly. “YEA, I would have fucking held you! So the fuck WHAT?? Does that make me some romantic ‘Valentino’ type to your ‘Garbo’? If it gave you some thrill to think like that, then I’m extremely happy for you! I’m glad I could make your night, all right?? Thrilled! But I wasn’t there, Case. Let’s not go off and pretend that the ‘world wide web’ offers up real feelings and actions. It’s all typed out and plastered onto some viciously lit screen, making us think things are real when they aren’t.”
Another deadly pause arrived as Zeke huffed and puffed into the cold air, creating clouds of mist between them. Casey stood there gaping at him, eyes wide and staring at Zeke’s face. Watching Casey just standing there, his hair soaked and lying on his forehead and sides of his face, droplets running down his neck…
Why was Zeke doing this?
Eyes turned down, head bowed- typical Casey pose. Zeke felt struck in seeing the back of Casey’s head. “Don’t do that.” Zeke mumbled, shaking his head. He reached forward, trying to bring Casey’s face back up by his chin. Casey slapped his hand away angrily.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” he growled out, turning his head slightly. Zeke didn’t care; he wasn’t about to watch Casey go back to that little world of ignorance, no matter if Zeke put him there himself or not. He grabbed his chin again with more force and pulled his face to his.
“DON’T…. you look down. All right? You want some fucking confidence, don’t turn to some world of fiction and lies, just keep your head UP.” Zeke told him firmly. Casey glared, eyes narrowing again.
“Might trip on something. Stub your toe.” Casey replied, flinching his chin out of Zeke’s grasp. Zeke blinked.
There was no reason why he was grabbing the sides of Casey’s face, forcing it to his own, kissing him wildly. There didn’t really have to be. His knuckles clenched white around the cuffs, pressing them into Casey’s soft cheek as he forced Casey’s mouth to open wide, thrusting his tongue to find the warmth inside. Casey seemed shocked into stillness, his shoulders, neck and face gone tense. Zeke didn’t care suddenly. He plundered past Casey’s lips ruthlessly, wanting every single typed word he’d given him to go away, melt into the ground along with the snow and disappear, leaving nothing between them. He pulled back now, shaking, giving one last small flick of his tongue to Casey’s lips as he reopened his eyes.
Casey was shuddering like a leaf, he felt and saw that much. His own eyes fluttered open, gazing at Zeke with wild wonder and awe. “That’s…” he barely whispered. “That’s all I’ve wanted, all along.”
Zeke swallowed and bit his lip, running his thumb over Casey’s blushed cheek. “That’s all?”
“That’s all.” Casey muttered quickly.
“Case?”
“Yea…?”
Zeke felt like smiling, but held it back. For whatever reason, it didn’t feel quite right. “Back in the locker room…”
“Just you.”
Zeke’s insides stirred. He pressed his forehead to Casey’s, his breath coming out of his nose in loud hisses. He grabbed up Casey’s mouth again with his own, going even wilder than before. Now Casey reciprocated, their tongues meeting in a frenzy of rushed movements; ‘Making up for lost time…’ Zeke thought as they backed their way to the bleachers. Once Casey’s back was pressed to the bars he gasped, opening his eyes and drawing away from Zeke. Without taking his gaze off of Zeke, he crouched low and went underneath the first bar, then the next. Zeke followed, his body filled with an eagerness he couldn’t comprehend. It was like a dance now- under, around, through… back up… one leg over, the other…