Feels Like Home - Part Two
Luke barely slept that night, tossing and turning in bed. Twice he had walked down the hall to his mother’s room, but had only gotten as far as the door, with his hand raised to knock, before returning to his own room. He knew he had no right to hold the fact that she had a relationship with another man against her, but didn’t understand why he hadn’t told him about it. Surely she must know that he’d find out about it anyway.
When he made his way downstairs the next morning Luke caught the scent of coffee and found his mom in the kitchen, standing by the sink with a steaming coffee mug in her hands.
“You’re up.” Lily smiled when she saw her son. She opened the cupboard, grabbing another mug to pour a cup of coffee for him. “I wasn’t sure if I’d see you this morning before I had to leave.”
“Leave?” Luke asked, taking the coffee mug out of her hands.
“I have to go to work. I’m a manager at the Lakeview hotel, you remember?” Lily explained. “I took a couple of days off, but I’ve got to go back in today. If you like, you can come by later and visit me later.”
“Maybe. We’ll see.” Luke shrugged his shoulders, avoiding looking his mom in the eyes.
“Are you gonna be all right here alone?” Lily asked.
“I’ve been all right alone for a long time.” He said in a soft voice.
Lily’s smile dropped. She turned around to put her coffee mug in the sink. “Yes, of course you have.” Taking a deep breath, she bit her lip to stop herself from crying and turned to face her son again. “I know, I have years to make up for Luke, but I hope you’ll give me a chance.”
“I want to. Just give it some time.” Luke replied and when he said it he knew that it was true. “I’ll see you in the evening.” He turned quickly and left.
***
After three hours of morning appointments, Reid spent his lunch hour driving to the hospital in the neighboring city to check out a few patients. An apple and a banana was all that needed to get him through the afternoon. During the day more than one of his patients mentioned him of the fact that Luke Grimaldi was back home and he tried his best to change to subject without letting on that he was affected every time it happened.
One of the drawbacks of living in a small town like Oakdale, Reid thought. Everyone knew everything about the people in a town like this. Luke and he had only been together briefly eight years ago and yet it seemed everybody remembered it.
Reid had tried to forget Luke but it seemed like it was impossible. He would see his name or picture in the paper or buy his new book even if he swore to himself that he wouldn’t do again; that he didn’t care anymore. Sometimes he even thought he saw a man that looked similar to Luke, but at second glance he’d always realize that the guy looked nothing like him. What happened between Luke and him never went past slow long kisses and gentle groping. He knew that the blond hadn’t been ready to go any further.
Thinking of him now, shouldn’t make his heart ache like it did. He had never been so in love as he had been with Luke even though their relationship hadn’t even lasted a year, even though they had never made love.
It would be difficult to try to be friends now, but he tried to assure himself that it was all that he wanted. Luke was a beautiful man who had once been his, but he couldn’t get his heart broken by Luke Grimaldi a second time.
“Dr. Oliver.” Nurse Gretchen poked a head in the door, waking him from his thoughts. “Your next patient is here.”
“I’ll be right there. Thanks.” Reid closed his eyes for a moment, briefly wondering if he’d find Luke in the backyard of his mom’s house again if he decided to stop by that evening. He smiled at that thought before heading for the examining room.
***
Luke knocked on the door of the Oliver house and waited. As a young boy he had spent so many hours at that house, that it held so many memories and it was a strange but at the same time a good feeling to be back. But what could he say to Dr. Oliver? The man who had comforted him more than once when he’d run away from home after his parents fought. The man that had become almost like a second father to him at the time. The man who was now in a relationship with his mom.
Frank Oliver opened the door and stood studying him for a moment, just like Luke studied him. His hair had turned gray, but other than that Luke couldn’t make out any difference. He offered him a hand but Dr. Oliver chuckled as he shook his head and engaged him into a hug.
“It’s so good to have you home.” Frank said over his shoulder as he squeezed him.
“It’s good to see you again.” Luke said, as he pulled back with tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry about what happened to your wife.”
“We all are.” He gave him a small smile, stuffing his hands into his jeans pocket. “She always kept track of your career, bought all your books, you know. More than once she said that you’d come back one day.”
Luke smiled at him. “I guess she was right.”
Frank nodded, stepping back to let him enter. “Come on in son. I’ll pour us some iced tea and I’m sure there is a piece of pie waiting for you in the fridge.”
Luke sat at the couch in the living room while Dr. Oliver served. The new couch was the only thing that he saw that had changed when he looked around, everything else seemed the same.
“I guess I don’t have to tell you how proud I am of you.” Frank Oliver said, as he sat down across from him.
“Thank you.” Luke scratched himself behind the ear. “I wish I could have gotten back sooner. I feel like I missed so much. I mean Kayla is married and she has a baby. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes...” His voice trailed off. “I hope to see a lot of them while I’m here. Of all of you. And I can’t wait to meet her husband.”
“I’m really proud of my daughter, of both of my kids.” Frank replied. “We’re all hoping that you’ll stay for a long time.”
Luke looked down at the glass of iced tea in his hands. “I haven’t really thought about it yet.”
“I know you lost your father a few months ago. That must have been hard for you.”
“Yeah, he had cancer. It was very difficult for him too.” Luke looked up again. “I mean he wouldn’t even admit that he was ill. There was little I could do. He refused to go to a hospital.” He sighed, blinking away the tears that were building in his eyes. “Dr. Oliver are you in love with my mom?”
“Yes, I am.” Frank replied without hesitation. “Does it bother you?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s just really hard to imagine the two of you together.” Luke took a sip from the iced tea before putting the glass down. “For as long as I can remember you and Mrs. Oliver always were so happy together, you were like a constant, while my parents were more like the opposite.”
“Life is unfair sometimes Luke. I think I know that better than anybody else. I had twenty-six wonderful years with Mary and had planned to spend the rest of my life with her, but it wasn’t meant to be. Your mother was Mary’s closest friend and that’s how I continued to look at her for several years until she became my friend and later I fell in love with her. At first I felt like I’d betrayed Mary but I know she’d want me to be happy.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Luke replied, suddenly feeling stupid for bringing it up in the first place.
“Lily mentioned that you aren’t eating well.” Frank said, pointing at Luke’s untouched plate with pie. “Or sleeping well.”
“The last couple of years have been pretty hectic but I’m fine Dr. Oliver. Don’t worry.” Luke assured him. In that moment Reid came through the connecting door. It annoyed him to see him here, but he guessed he should have expected it.
“Mr. Grimaldi.” Reid grinned at him, then glanced down at the pie. “Were you going to leave any for me?”
“You can have my piece.” Luke replied, folding his arms above his chest.
Reid took that plate, shoving the first bite into his mouth before turning his attention to his dad. “You wanted to see me before I left?”
“Yeah that file you wanted me to look over, it’s on my desk.” Frank replied, getting up from the couch. “I made some notes.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Reid replied, shoving more pie into his mouth.
“Well I’ve got to go back to work.” Frank walked around the coffee table to give Luke a hug. “I hope you’ll come back soon.”
“I will.” Luke promised. Frank stepped back and turned back to face Reid.
Frank Oliver squeezed his son’s shoulder, giving him a knowing smile before he left.
“I’m glad you stopped by see my father.” Reid said, as the door closed.
“Of course. I really missed him.” Luke said, watching Reid for a moment as he scarfed down the pie. “I see your appetite is as healthy as ever.”
“Yep.” He sat down on the couch and pointed for Luke to do the same.
Luke knew he should leave but he sat down anyway. “Where is Buster?”
“I left him at home.” Reid shoved put the now empty plate down on the table, rubbing his stomach.
“You don’t live here anymore?”
“No. I bought a house a little outside of town about a year ago.” Reid explained. “I’ll drive you out some time so you can see it. As a matter of fact how about right now?”
“Um, I don’t know.” Luke stuttered. “You probably have plenty of stuff to do.”
“Nope. I have the rest of the day off.” Reid took his arm and pulled him up from the couch.
“Fine. I’ll follow you with my car though. That way you won’t have to drive me back home.”
***
Four miles out of town Luke came to halt behind Reid in front of a small two-story place in the middle of nowhere. The only building that was within eyesight was an old farm that had already been uninhabited when Luke still lived in Oakdale.
The design of Reid’s house was kind of like a box shape with shingled siding painted a creamy-white color. There was a small front porch and four square windows on the front - two on the bottom floor and two on the top. And he even had a white picket fence around the front and extending around the back. Not what I expected but I like it, Luke thought as he climbed out of his car. Reid walked through a small gate in front and Luke followed him.
Buster came racing toward them, barking, and Reid quickly caught his collar before he could leap on Luke.
“It’s okay.” The blond chuckled, bending down to pet the dog. “This place looks fabulous Reid. I’m sure Buster appreciates the amount of space he has to run around. I can understand why you’d move out here.”
Reid smiled and took his hand, linking their fingers. “I’ll give you the tour.”
Luke let himself be led inside right into the main room: the large living space that held a fire place. The attached kitchen featured a large stainless steel refrigerator and white cupboards, while the walls were painted light green. A small table with four chairs was in the middle of the comfortable room. Reid, who hadn’t let go of his hand the entire time, showed him a nice sized bathroom on the first floor before he led him upstairs. There were three about equal rooms on the second floor. One of them was empty, another room held Reid’s office and the last room of course his bedroom which had a master bathroom.
“It’s a really beautiful place.” Luke commented as he looked out of the bedroom window into the woods. He had always dreamed of having a place like this himself one day.
“I know. I love it too.” Reid stepped next to the blond, shoulders brushing.
“I could live right here.” Luke said before he could stop himself and quickly added. “Anyway, thanks for taking me here to show me your house Reid.”
An impulse from within made Reid lift his hand to cup Luke’s face and he felt the blond shudder.
“Don’t.” Luke whispered, backing away from his touch.
“I have to...” Reid touched his lips to Luke’s, lingering. Again he lifted his hand to cup his face and then he felt the other man kissing him back, moaning into the kiss.
Luke pulled the older man closer, greedy for it. Like countless times before his hands found his way into thick curls. He was no longer kissing a boy and it had been so long since the last time, but when their lips parted he knew what he would taste like. It was all that he remembered and so much more. Panting, he pulled back and looked into Reid’s darkened eyes. Damn him. “We shouldn’t have done that.” He said, stepping back. “This was over a long time ago.”
“Yeah. Maybe we just needed to get it out of our systems.” Reid said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“I’m being serious Reid. I’m not interested in starting anything with you again.” Luke said. He turned away to leave, but Reid took him by the arm.
“You know what? After that kiss I don’t believe you.” Reid said, slowly pulling him closer. “And neither do you.”
Luke snorted. “Is that so?”
“Yes. I’ll take the time and make the effort to show you that I’m right.” He planted a kiss on Luke’s slightly swollen lips. “I still want you Luke and this time I’m won’t let you go again.”
“Go to hell.” Luke jerked away, rushing down the stairs. He could feel Reid’s eyes on him as he made his way to his car, but what Luke couldn’t see was the grin on his face.
***
Luke pulled himself out of his car and slammed the door shut behind him before walking into his mother’s house. He paced back and forth in the living room, trying to calm himself down. He was angry with himself that the guy, who had only been nothing more than Kayla’s older brother for a long time, but slowly became more during the time he struggled with his sexuality, could still make his blood boil.
Reid had no right to kiss him again. No right to force him to face feelings and memories he wanted to forget.
For a moment he touched his fingertips to his lips, could still feel Reid’s on them and regretted that he had made the decision to let the older man show him his house. ‘We won’t be anything more than friends, I can’t let him hurt me again’, Luke thought as he sat down on the couch. ‘He can turn on his charm all he wants, I’m not going to fall for it again.’
“Luke?”
He turned his head to see his mom standing a few feet away from the couch and cleared his throat before he spoke. “Hey. I didn’t know you were home.”
“I got back from work a while ago.” Lily replied, stepping further into the room. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Luke forced a smile.
“I... um... I just talked to Frank on the phone.” She said. “He told me that you stopped by at his place this morning.”
Luke nodded. “It was good to see him again. He almost looks the same.” He took a bracing breath. “Is there a reason why you didn’t tell me that you and Dr. Oliver are involved?”
Lily lowered his head for a moment before lifting it again to look at her son. “I swear didn’t try to hide it from you. I guess I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“If you say so.” The blond crossed his arms above his chest. “But maybe you didn’t want me to know because you think it’s none of my business.”
“No, that’s not true Luke.” Lily shook her head. She knew she didn’t have to explain herself or her relationship to Frank Oliver but wanted her son to understand. “I’ve been alone for a long time after you and your father left Oakdale. Frank and I slowly grew closer after Mary died and even though I felt odd about starting something with him because Mary had been my best friend for a long time, I don’t feel guilty about it anymore. We’re adults and both of us are free to do what we want.”
Luke remained silent for a long moment, letting his mother’s words sink in. He chose his next words carefully. “To be honest, I still don’t know what to think about your relationship with Dr. Oliver, but it’s safe to say that it surprised me. I mean when I came back into town, I thought that nothing had changed, but I’m starting to see that I was wrong and it’s difficult to accept that you moved on.”
Lily let out a sigh as she sat down on the armrest of the couch. “It wasn’t easy for me to move on Luke.”
“Not as easy as letting me go?”
Lily tried to fight back the tears that were building in her eyes. “Back then I tried to believe it was what was best for you and that it was what you wanted.”
“What I wanted?” Luke snorted. “Neither you or dad ever ask me what I wanted!”
“I tried. I called Damien close to a thousand times, begging him to let me talk to you but he always told me that you don’t want to talk to me. I didn’t want to believe him so I started writing you letters asking you if you were happy, if living with your father was what you really wanted but when you sent them back unopened, I finally gave up.”
“What?” Luke’s voice was barely above a whisper, his hands clenching. “Dad never told me about those calls and there were no letters either. I thought...” His voice drifted off. “Why would he do something like that? Why didn’t he want me to see your letters or would let me talk to you on the phone?”
“I guess in a way he was protecting you and punishing me.”
“Punishing you? For what?”
Lily took a deep breath to brace herself, her voice was strong when she spoke. “For betraying him with another man.”
Luke’s jaw dropped. “You had an affair?”
“Yes.” She admitted. “I was involved with somebody for a few months before you and your father left. I broke my vows and I’ve been paying for it ever since.”
The blond rose from the couch, pacing back and for in silence for a while until he stopped to face his mom. “I need some time to think. I’m going for a walk.” Without another word he rushed passed her, slamming the front door shut on his way out.
***
Luke wandered around aimlessly for hours, trying to clear his head. He was oblivious to anything around him, but kept putting one foot in front of the other, automatically, slowly making his way out of town without even noticing it.
Dusk was already approaching when Luke realized that he was miles away from his mother’s house but only minutes away from Reid’s place. Sometime during the past few hours he must have unknowingly made the decision to come back here. He paused for a moment, debating whether he should walk all the way back or not. He didn’t know why he’d come here, come to Reid of all people, but he knew now that he was so close that he could not just turn around and leave and soon found himself walking into the older man’s yard.
The dog was barking when he neared the front door and Reid opened the door before Luke even got the chance to knock, almost like he had been waiting for him to come back.
“Hi.” Luke stuffed his hands into his pockets, shifting from one foot to the other. “I wanted to take a walk, needed some time to clear my mind and somehow ended up here.”
“You walked out here all the way from your mother’s house?” Reid raised an eyebrow.
The blond sheepishly shrugged his shoulder, feeling completely stupid all of a sudden. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll just---” Luke turned away to make a quick retreat.
“No. Come on in.” Reid interrupted, taking Luke’s hand. “It’s getting dark outside and I’m not letting you walk back alone at this hour.” He said as he led the younger man into the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine.” Luke managed a smile.
Reid opened the fridge to pull out a bottle of water and held it out to the blond. “Here.”
Luke rolled his eyes, but took the water bottle anyway. He opened it and took a long, refreshing drink washing down the dust in his throat. “Thanks.”
“So are you not mad at me anymore?” The older man asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.
“I don’t know what I feel about anything.” Luke replied, hugging his arms.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened?” Reid asked, feeling pity for the blonde.
Luke needed somebody to listen and he knew Reid would listen. Just like he always had. “I don’t know Reid,” he said with a sigh. “It would be like reverting back into an old habit.”
“I don’t see why that would be such a bad thing and we did say that we’re gonna try to be friends.” Reid said, encouraging the younger man. “Look, how about we sit down?”
Luke shook his head. He walked to the nearby window, staring into the dark night. “My mother told me she had an affair before Damian took me to Malta.”
“I know.” Reid admitted with a low voice. When Luke turned to look at him, he saw the bewilderment on his face and quickly crossed to him, taking his hand. “I didn’t know about it back then. It came out a few months after you were gone. One of the disadvantages of living in a small town.”
“In all those years my father said nothing about it, but my mother said he knew.” Luke said. “And now I don’t know what to say to her.”
“Did you ask her why?” Luke shook his head in response. “I’ve known your mother a good while now and I think she must have had some very strong reasons for what she did. I think once you get over the shock and the anger, you should ask her about the details.”
“You’re probably right.” Luke felt the tears rise to burn the backs of his eyes.
“No leaking.” Reid joked, earning a smile from the younger man. He spread his arms and Luke gratefully went into them, letting himself be held by him. His arms were tight around him; his head nestled against his shoulder, still a perfect fit. He knew that this was what the blonde needed right now, that he needed him to be friend first and foremost.
Closing his eyes, Luke wondered how Reid still knew him so well that he was giving him, without even having asked, exactly what he needed. He pulled back just enough to look into Reid’s ocean blue eyes, realizing how terrifyingly easy it would be to fall in love with him all over again.
Reid thought if Luke looked at him that way for ten more seconds, he’d probably forget Luke had come here looking for a friend. It took all his strength of will to pull away from the blond. “I think you should go home. Get some sleep before you try to straighten things out with your mom. I’ll drive you home, all right?”
“I don’t want to go home tonight.” Luke stepped forward, taking Reid’s hand. “I want to stay here with you.”
Reid groaned. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“A few hours ago it seemed like you thought it was a pretty good idea.” Luke spit back, trying to pull his hand free, but the older man tightened his grip.
“You know I want you. I always have.” He finally said the words out loud, none of the tip-toeing anymore. Desire seared through him as he looked at the blond. He’d spent hours trying not to imagine what it would be like to finally really be with him, but right now the timing sucked. “But I’m not going to risk you hating me in the morning because I took advantage of you when you were upset and confused. So if you really do want to stay you can take the bed and I’ll stay down here and sleep on the couch.”
Luke looked down at their joined hands, knowing that Reid was right. “Okay. I’m sorry that I snapped at you. Thank you for just... thank you.”
“Well you know the way to my bedroom.” Reid said, dropping his hands. “Go.”
With a nod, Luke started toward the stairs. At the base he stopped and turned. “Good night.”
“Night.” Reid watched him go upstairs, fighting the urge to follow the blond. He probably wouldn’t get much sleep tonight, knowing that Luke was sleeping in his bed. With a sigh he turned to open the fridge, pulling out a can of beer. Couple of these will make not sleeping a little more bearable.
----> Part 3
When he made his way downstairs the next morning Luke caught the scent of coffee and found his mom in the kitchen, standing by the sink with a steaming coffee mug in her hands.
“You’re up.” Lily smiled when she saw her son. She opened the cupboard, grabbing another mug to pour a cup of coffee for him. “I wasn’t sure if I’d see you this morning before I had to leave.”
“Leave?” Luke asked, taking the coffee mug out of her hands.
“I have to go to work. I’m a manager at the Lakeview hotel, you remember?” Lily explained. “I took a couple of days off, but I’ve got to go back in today. If you like, you can come by later and visit me later.”
“Maybe. We’ll see.” Luke shrugged his shoulders, avoiding looking his mom in the eyes.
“Are you gonna be all right here alone?” Lily asked.
“I’ve been all right alone for a long time.” He said in a soft voice.
Lily’s smile dropped. She turned around to put her coffee mug in the sink. “Yes, of course you have.” Taking a deep breath, she bit her lip to stop herself from crying and turned to face her son again. “I know, I have years to make up for Luke, but I hope you’ll give me a chance.”
“I want to. Just give it some time.” Luke replied and when he said it he knew that it was true. “I’ll see you in the evening.” He turned quickly and left.
***
After three hours of morning appointments, Reid spent his lunch hour driving to the hospital in the neighboring city to check out a few patients. An apple and a banana was all that needed to get him through the afternoon. During the day more than one of his patients mentioned him of the fact that Luke Grimaldi was back home and he tried his best to change to subject without letting on that he was affected every time it happened.
One of the drawbacks of living in a small town like Oakdale, Reid thought. Everyone knew everything about the people in a town like this. Luke and he had only been together briefly eight years ago and yet it seemed everybody remembered it.
Reid had tried to forget Luke but it seemed like it was impossible. He would see his name or picture in the paper or buy his new book even if he swore to himself that he wouldn’t do again; that he didn’t care anymore. Sometimes he even thought he saw a man that looked similar to Luke, but at second glance he’d always realize that the guy looked nothing like him. What happened between Luke and him never went past slow long kisses and gentle groping. He knew that the blond hadn’t been ready to go any further.
Thinking of him now, shouldn’t make his heart ache like it did. He had never been so in love as he had been with Luke even though their relationship hadn’t even lasted a year, even though they had never made love.
It would be difficult to try to be friends now, but he tried to assure himself that it was all that he wanted. Luke was a beautiful man who had once been his, but he couldn’t get his heart broken by Luke Grimaldi a second time.
“Dr. Oliver.” Nurse Gretchen poked a head in the door, waking him from his thoughts. “Your next patient is here.”
“I’ll be right there. Thanks.” Reid closed his eyes for a moment, briefly wondering if he’d find Luke in the backyard of his mom’s house again if he decided to stop by that evening. He smiled at that thought before heading for the examining room.
***
Luke knocked on the door of the Oliver house and waited. As a young boy he had spent so many hours at that house, that it held so many memories and it was a strange but at the same time a good feeling to be back. But what could he say to Dr. Oliver? The man who had comforted him more than once when he’d run away from home after his parents fought. The man that had become almost like a second father to him at the time. The man who was now in a relationship with his mom.
Frank Oliver opened the door and stood studying him for a moment, just like Luke studied him. His hair had turned gray, but other than that Luke couldn’t make out any difference. He offered him a hand but Dr. Oliver chuckled as he shook his head and engaged him into a hug.
“It’s so good to have you home.” Frank said over his shoulder as he squeezed him.
“It’s good to see you again.” Luke said, as he pulled back with tears in his eyes. “I’m so sorry about what happened to your wife.”
“We all are.” He gave him a small smile, stuffing his hands into his jeans pocket. “She always kept track of your career, bought all your books, you know. More than once she said that you’d come back one day.”
Luke smiled at him. “I guess she was right.”
Frank nodded, stepping back to let him enter. “Come on in son. I’ll pour us some iced tea and I’m sure there is a piece of pie waiting for you in the fridge.”
Luke sat at the couch in the living room while Dr. Oliver served. The new couch was the only thing that he saw that had changed when he looked around, everything else seemed the same.
“I guess I don’t have to tell you how proud I am of you.” Frank Oliver said, as he sat down across from him.
“Thank you.” Luke scratched himself behind the ear. “I wish I could have gotten back sooner. I feel like I missed so much. I mean Kayla is married and she has a baby. If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes...” His voice trailed off. “I hope to see a lot of them while I’m here. Of all of you. And I can’t wait to meet her husband.”
“I’m really proud of my daughter, of both of my kids.” Frank replied. “We’re all hoping that you’ll stay for a long time.”
Luke looked down at the glass of iced tea in his hands. “I haven’t really thought about it yet.”
“I know you lost your father a few months ago. That must have been hard for you.”
“Yeah, he had cancer. It was very difficult for him too.” Luke looked up again. “I mean he wouldn’t even admit that he was ill. There was little I could do. He refused to go to a hospital.” He sighed, blinking away the tears that were building in his eyes. “Dr. Oliver are you in love with my mom?”
“Yes, I am.” Frank replied without hesitation. “Does it bother you?”
“I don’t know. I guess it’s just really hard to imagine the two of you together.” Luke took a sip from the iced tea before putting the glass down. “For as long as I can remember you and Mrs. Oliver always were so happy together, you were like a constant, while my parents were more like the opposite.”
“Life is unfair sometimes Luke. I think I know that better than anybody else. I had twenty-six wonderful years with Mary and had planned to spend the rest of my life with her, but it wasn’t meant to be. Your mother was Mary’s closest friend and that’s how I continued to look at her for several years until she became my friend and later I fell in love with her. At first I felt like I’d betrayed Mary but I know she’d want me to be happy.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Luke replied, suddenly feeling stupid for bringing it up in the first place.
“Lily mentioned that you aren’t eating well.” Frank said, pointing at Luke’s untouched plate with pie. “Or sleeping well.”
“The last couple of years have been pretty hectic but I’m fine Dr. Oliver. Don’t worry.” Luke assured him. In that moment Reid came through the connecting door. It annoyed him to see him here, but he guessed he should have expected it.
“Mr. Grimaldi.” Reid grinned at him, then glanced down at the pie. “Were you going to leave any for me?”
“You can have my piece.” Luke replied, folding his arms above his chest.
Reid took that plate, shoving the first bite into his mouth before turning his attention to his dad. “You wanted to see me before I left?”
“Yeah that file you wanted me to look over, it’s on my desk.” Frank replied, getting up from the couch. “I made some notes.”
“Okay. Thanks.” Reid replied, shoving more pie into his mouth.
“Well I’ve got to go back to work.” Frank walked around the coffee table to give Luke a hug. “I hope you’ll come back soon.”
“I will.” Luke promised. Frank stepped back and turned back to face Reid.
Frank Oliver squeezed his son’s shoulder, giving him a knowing smile before he left.
“I’m glad you stopped by see my father.” Reid said, as the door closed.
“Of course. I really missed him.” Luke said, watching Reid for a moment as he scarfed down the pie. “I see your appetite is as healthy as ever.”
“Yep.” He sat down on the couch and pointed for Luke to do the same.
Luke knew he should leave but he sat down anyway. “Where is Buster?”
“I left him at home.” Reid shoved put the now empty plate down on the table, rubbing his stomach.
“You don’t live here anymore?”
“No. I bought a house a little outside of town about a year ago.” Reid explained. “I’ll drive you out some time so you can see it. As a matter of fact how about right now?”
“Um, I don’t know.” Luke stuttered. “You probably have plenty of stuff to do.”
“Nope. I have the rest of the day off.” Reid took his arm and pulled him up from the couch.
“Fine. I’ll follow you with my car though. That way you won’t have to drive me back home.”
***
Four miles out of town Luke came to halt behind Reid in front of a small two-story place in the middle of nowhere. The only building that was within eyesight was an old farm that had already been uninhabited when Luke still lived in Oakdale.
The design of Reid’s house was kind of like a box shape with shingled siding painted a creamy-white color. There was a small front porch and four square windows on the front - two on the bottom floor and two on the top. And he even had a white picket fence around the front and extending around the back. Not what I expected but I like it, Luke thought as he climbed out of his car. Reid walked through a small gate in front and Luke followed him.
Buster came racing toward them, barking, and Reid quickly caught his collar before he could leap on Luke.
“It’s okay.” The blond chuckled, bending down to pet the dog. “This place looks fabulous Reid. I’m sure Buster appreciates the amount of space he has to run around. I can understand why you’d move out here.”
Reid smiled and took his hand, linking their fingers. “I’ll give you the tour.”
Luke let himself be led inside right into the main room: the large living space that held a fire place. The attached kitchen featured a large stainless steel refrigerator and white cupboards, while the walls were painted light green. A small table with four chairs was in the middle of the comfortable room. Reid, who hadn’t let go of his hand the entire time, showed him a nice sized bathroom on the first floor before he led him upstairs. There were three about equal rooms on the second floor. One of them was empty, another room held Reid’s office and the last room of course his bedroom which had a master bathroom.
“It’s a really beautiful place.” Luke commented as he looked out of the bedroom window into the woods. He had always dreamed of having a place like this himself one day.
“I know. I love it too.” Reid stepped next to the blond, shoulders brushing.
“I could live right here.” Luke said before he could stop himself and quickly added. “Anyway, thanks for taking me here to show me your house Reid.”
An impulse from within made Reid lift his hand to cup Luke’s face and he felt the blond shudder.
“Don’t.” Luke whispered, backing away from his touch.
“I have to...” Reid touched his lips to Luke’s, lingering. Again he lifted his hand to cup his face and then he felt the other man kissing him back, moaning into the kiss.
Luke pulled the older man closer, greedy for it. Like countless times before his hands found his way into thick curls. He was no longer kissing a boy and it had been so long since the last time, but when their lips parted he knew what he would taste like. It was all that he remembered and so much more. Panting, he pulled back and looked into Reid’s darkened eyes. Damn him. “We shouldn’t have done that.” He said, stepping back. “This was over a long time ago.”
“Yeah. Maybe we just needed to get it out of our systems.” Reid said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
“I’m being serious Reid. I’m not interested in starting anything with you again.” Luke said. He turned away to leave, but Reid took him by the arm.
“You know what? After that kiss I don’t believe you.” Reid said, slowly pulling him closer. “And neither do you.”
Luke snorted. “Is that so?”
“Yes. I’ll take the time and make the effort to show you that I’m right.” He planted a kiss on Luke’s slightly swollen lips. “I still want you Luke and this time I’m won’t let you go again.”
“Go to hell.” Luke jerked away, rushing down the stairs. He could feel Reid’s eyes on him as he made his way to his car, but what Luke couldn’t see was the grin on his face.
***
Luke pulled himself out of his car and slammed the door shut behind him before walking into his mother’s house. He paced back and forth in the living room, trying to calm himself down. He was angry with himself that the guy, who had only been nothing more than Kayla’s older brother for a long time, but slowly became more during the time he struggled with his sexuality, could still make his blood boil.
Reid had no right to kiss him again. No right to force him to face feelings and memories he wanted to forget.
For a moment he touched his fingertips to his lips, could still feel Reid’s on them and regretted that he had made the decision to let the older man show him his house. ‘We won’t be anything more than friends, I can’t let him hurt me again’, Luke thought as he sat down on the couch. ‘He can turn on his charm all he wants, I’m not going to fall for it again.’
“Luke?”
He turned his head to see his mom standing a few feet away from the couch and cleared his throat before he spoke. “Hey. I didn’t know you were home.”
“I got back from work a while ago.” Lily replied, stepping further into the room. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Luke forced a smile.
“I... um... I just talked to Frank on the phone.” She said. “He told me that you stopped by at his place this morning.”
Luke nodded. “It was good to see him again. He almost looks the same.” He took a bracing breath. “Is there a reason why you didn’t tell me that you and Dr. Oliver are involved?”
Lily lowered his head for a moment before lifting it again to look at her son. “I swear didn’t try to hide it from you. I guess I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“If you say so.” The blond crossed his arms above his chest. “But maybe you didn’t want me to know because you think it’s none of my business.”
“No, that’s not true Luke.” Lily shook her head. She knew she didn’t have to explain herself or her relationship to Frank Oliver but wanted her son to understand. “I’ve been alone for a long time after you and your father left Oakdale. Frank and I slowly grew closer after Mary died and even though I felt odd about starting something with him because Mary had been my best friend for a long time, I don’t feel guilty about it anymore. We’re adults and both of us are free to do what we want.”
Luke remained silent for a long moment, letting his mother’s words sink in. He chose his next words carefully. “To be honest, I still don’t know what to think about your relationship with Dr. Oliver, but it’s safe to say that it surprised me. I mean when I came back into town, I thought that nothing had changed, but I’m starting to see that I was wrong and it’s difficult to accept that you moved on.”
Lily let out a sigh as she sat down on the armrest of the couch. “It wasn’t easy for me to move on Luke.”
“Not as easy as letting me go?”
Lily tried to fight back the tears that were building in her eyes. “Back then I tried to believe it was what was best for you and that it was what you wanted.”
“What I wanted?” Luke snorted. “Neither you or dad ever ask me what I wanted!”
“I tried. I called Damien close to a thousand times, begging him to let me talk to you but he always told me that you don’t want to talk to me. I didn’t want to believe him so I started writing you letters asking you if you were happy, if living with your father was what you really wanted but when you sent them back unopened, I finally gave up.”
“What?” Luke’s voice was barely above a whisper, his hands clenching. “Dad never told me about those calls and there were no letters either. I thought...” His voice drifted off. “Why would he do something like that? Why didn’t he want me to see your letters or would let me talk to you on the phone?”
“I guess in a way he was protecting you and punishing me.”
“Punishing you? For what?”
Lily took a deep breath to brace herself, her voice was strong when she spoke. “For betraying him with another man.”
Luke’s jaw dropped. “You had an affair?”
“Yes.” She admitted. “I was involved with somebody for a few months before you and your father left. I broke my vows and I’ve been paying for it ever since.”
The blond rose from the couch, pacing back and for in silence for a while until he stopped to face his mom. “I need some time to think. I’m going for a walk.” Without another word he rushed passed her, slamming the front door shut on his way out.
***
Luke wandered around aimlessly for hours, trying to clear his head. He was oblivious to anything around him, but kept putting one foot in front of the other, automatically, slowly making his way out of town without even noticing it.
Dusk was already approaching when Luke realized that he was miles away from his mother’s house but only minutes away from Reid’s place. Sometime during the past few hours he must have unknowingly made the decision to come back here. He paused for a moment, debating whether he should walk all the way back or not. He didn’t know why he’d come here, come to Reid of all people, but he knew now that he was so close that he could not just turn around and leave and soon found himself walking into the older man’s yard.
The dog was barking when he neared the front door and Reid opened the door before Luke even got the chance to knock, almost like he had been waiting for him to come back.
“Hi.” Luke stuffed his hands into his pockets, shifting from one foot to the other. “I wanted to take a walk, needed some time to clear my mind and somehow ended up here.”
“You walked out here all the way from your mother’s house?” Reid raised an eyebrow.
The blond sheepishly shrugged his shoulder, feeling completely stupid all of a sudden. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come. I’ll just---” Luke turned away to make a quick retreat.
“No. Come on in.” Reid interrupted, taking Luke’s hand. “It’s getting dark outside and I’m not letting you walk back alone at this hour.” He said as he led the younger man into the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?”
“No, I’m fine.” Luke managed a smile.
Reid opened the fridge to pull out a bottle of water and held it out to the blond. “Here.”
Luke rolled his eyes, but took the water bottle anyway. He opened it and took a long, refreshing drink washing down the dust in his throat. “Thanks.”
“So are you not mad at me anymore?” The older man asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.
“I don’t know what I feel about anything.” Luke replied, hugging his arms.
“Why don’t you tell me what happened?” Reid asked, feeling pity for the blonde.
Luke needed somebody to listen and he knew Reid would listen. Just like he always had. “I don’t know Reid,” he said with a sigh. “It would be like reverting back into an old habit.”
“I don’t see why that would be such a bad thing and we did say that we’re gonna try to be friends.” Reid said, encouraging the younger man. “Look, how about we sit down?”
Luke shook his head. He walked to the nearby window, staring into the dark night. “My mother told me she had an affair before Damian took me to Malta.”
“I know.” Reid admitted with a low voice. When Luke turned to look at him, he saw the bewilderment on his face and quickly crossed to him, taking his hand. “I didn’t know about it back then. It came out a few months after you were gone. One of the disadvantages of living in a small town.”
“In all those years my father said nothing about it, but my mother said he knew.” Luke said. “And now I don’t know what to say to her.”
“Did you ask her why?” Luke shook his head in response. “I’ve known your mother a good while now and I think she must have had some very strong reasons for what she did. I think once you get over the shock and the anger, you should ask her about the details.”
“You’re probably right.” Luke felt the tears rise to burn the backs of his eyes.
“No leaking.” Reid joked, earning a smile from the younger man. He spread his arms and Luke gratefully went into them, letting himself be held by him. His arms were tight around him; his head nestled against his shoulder, still a perfect fit. He knew that this was what the blonde needed right now, that he needed him to be friend first and foremost.
Closing his eyes, Luke wondered how Reid still knew him so well that he was giving him, without even having asked, exactly what he needed. He pulled back just enough to look into Reid’s ocean blue eyes, realizing how terrifyingly easy it would be to fall in love with him all over again.
Reid thought if Luke looked at him that way for ten more seconds, he’d probably forget Luke had come here looking for a friend. It took all his strength of will to pull away from the blond. “I think you should go home. Get some sleep before you try to straighten things out with your mom. I’ll drive you home, all right?”
“I don’t want to go home tonight.” Luke stepped forward, taking Reid’s hand. “I want to stay here with you.”
Reid groaned. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“A few hours ago it seemed like you thought it was a pretty good idea.” Luke spit back, trying to pull his hand free, but the older man tightened his grip.
“You know I want you. I always have.” He finally said the words out loud, none of the tip-toeing anymore. Desire seared through him as he looked at the blond. He’d spent hours trying not to imagine what it would be like to finally really be with him, but right now the timing sucked. “But I’m not going to risk you hating me in the morning because I took advantage of you when you were upset and confused. So if you really do want to stay you can take the bed and I’ll stay down here and sleep on the couch.”
Luke looked down at their joined hands, knowing that Reid was right. “Okay. I’m sorry that I snapped at you. Thank you for just... thank you.”
“Well you know the way to my bedroom.” Reid said, dropping his hands. “Go.”
With a nod, Luke started toward the stairs. At the base he stopped and turned. “Good night.”
“Night.” Reid watched him go upstairs, fighting the urge to follow the blond. He probably wouldn’t get much sleep tonight, knowing that Luke was sleeping in his bed. With a sigh he turned to open the fridge, pulling out a can of beer. Couple of these will make not sleeping a little more bearable.
----> Part 3