Believe Me I'm Lying - Part One
Reid sat at his desk in the office he and Luke shared in their new apartment, finally getting some paperwork done after another crazy day at work. Ever since the new neurology wing had opened a year ago, he was almost always behind on getting things done, but he didn't trust anybody else to do it. When he did have some time to work on it, Reid liked to take his paperwork home with him 'cause then he and Luke would sit in their office together, both of them working on their projects, while they still spent time together.
Noticing that his boyfriend would be home soon after a quick glance at his watch, Reid decided to start preparing dinner for them. They often just ordered in or went out to eat when both of them were exhausted from work, but today he wanted to do make one of Luke's favorites, macaroni and cheese. Luke had been kind of rushed and nervous lately and Reid wanted to do something nice for his him, hoping that his boyfriend was only stressed at work and that if it was something else Luke would talk to him about it.
When he had first arrived in Oakdale almost two years ago, it had been inconceivable for him to do even think about cooking something for anybody, but he loved Luke and he liked to surprise his boyfriend from time to time.
He was genuinely happy as he started to put together dinner. He thought about the times he and Luke had cooked together in their new home while he stood in the kitchen, preparing the dish. Reid had to smile, remembering that most of the times they had tried to cook something together it had ended in a disaster and yet it didn't really matter 'cause they had fun doing it together. But he could manage making simple things like macaroni and cheese.
Reid had put the casserole dish into the oven and was about to set the table, when he heard Luke calling for him from the living room. "I'm in the kitchen!" He shouted, continuing to lay the table.
"I need to talk to you." Luke said, stopping in the kitchen doorway.
Reid wasn't surprised to hear him say that since he had already assumed that something had been bothering his boyfriend in the past few days and he was glad that Luke finally decided to talk to him about it. "Sit down, I’ll get us something to drink and then we can talk." He said as he walked over to the fridge to get two cans of soda. "I hope you're hungry, I have macaroni and cheese in the oven."
The redhead finally turned to look at the blonde, when he didn't give any response and saw that Luke was still standing at the same spot. "Hey, what's wrong?" Reid asked and walked towards his boyfriend, noticing how pale he was. He lifted his hand to touch Luke's cheek, but the younger man backed away. "Luke?"
"Reid... I... I can't..." Luke stuttered; his entire body was shaking. He stepped back again, when Reid tried to touch him, holding up a hand "Don't."
"What is it? You're starting to worry me Luke, please talk to me!" Reid almost begged and he was seriously starting to panic. "Are you not feeling well? Is something wrong with you kidney? I’ll get tested and we'll find---"
"Reid stop it!" Luke shouted. He took a deep breath, lowering his head for a moment, before he looked up again. "Look I don't know how to say this without hurting you, so I guess I'll just get it over with" he exhaled "I can't be with you anymore."
There was a moment of silence between them, as Reid needed a second or two to progress the words Luke had just said, his heart pounding loudly in his chest. "What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?"
"Believe me, it’s better that way." Luke sniffled, wiping a tear away. He quickly turned on his heels heading for their bedroom, with Reid following close behind.
"How is this supposed to be better!?" Reid asked, who was close to tears by now. He couldn't wrap his brain around what was happening. "I don't understand this. Why are you doing this Luke? You can't just leave just like that!"
Luke silently grabbed his suitcase from under the bed and put it onto a chair near the wardrobe before he paused a moment to look at Reid. "I need to do this Reid." He opened his side of the wardrobe, starting to indiscriminately stuff some off his clothes into it.
"Where are you going?" Reid asked, with a lump in his throat.
"Derek offered to let me stay with him for a while." Luke replied, without looking up.
"Derek?" Reid asked, following the blonde into their attached bathroom. "Why him?"
"I really need to do this Reid." Luke collected his toothbrush and a few of his beauty products, avoiding looking at the older man the entire time. "I can't stay here any longer." He said and turned on his heels to walk back into the bedroom.
"Luke please, can't we talk about this? We just moved in together and..." His voice trailed off, watching as the blonde closed the suitcase before he finally turned to look at him. "Did I do something wrong?"
Luke knew he needed to lie and say something that would hurt Reid if he wanted him to stay away and had already concocted the words he was going to say. "I just... I can't do this anymore okay? We fight about the stupidest things all the time. Sometimes I feel like you don't even try to get along with my family, even though you know how much they mean to me and at times I even have to beg you to go out with me. I mean, I know that you're tired from work and all but..." his voice trailed off "it's just too much, I can't take it anymore. I tried but... I've been thinking about drinking again for the first time in a long time and that's how I know that it's time for me to leave. It's over Reid."
Reid was thunderstruck, his arms heavy on his sides, while he could do nothing, but watch Luke walk out of his life. He wanted to stop the blonde, telling him that he loved him; that they would work it out, but he couldn't move. His legs gave in and he sank down onto the bed, suddenly noticing that a tear was running down his cheek. It was an unfamiliar feeling, he hadn't cried since his parents died when he was still a kid. He attempted to wipe the tear away, but more were already following.
Nothing of this felt right to him. He remembered how Luke had told him the first time that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. It had been on a rainy Saturday morning, which they had spent in bed together and Reid would never forget that moment. So how could this be happening? He felt like he had tried his best to get along with Luke's family and that they even started to accept him and even like him. He hadn't seen this coming at all.
'Did I just miss the signs?' Reid wondered. Just this morning Luke had forgotten to kiss him like he usually did when he left for work. At that time Reid still thought it had only been because Luke had been stressed, but now he kind of felt like an idiot for believing that. How could he have been so stupid to believe that Luke would really spend the rest of his life with somebody like him?
He didn't know how long he sat there like that, when he suddenly heard a loud beeping sound. It took him a moment to realize that it was the smoke detector in the kitchen. Cursing, Reid quickly headed into the direction of the kitchen, smoke already coming towards him on his way. He opened the window and then the oven to put the smoky casserole dish into the sink, before he could finally intercept the smoke detector.
"Fuck!" Reid swore, kicking one the kitchen chairs over. He sank down to the ground, leaning back against the kitchen counter and closed his eyes.
How could he live on without Luke?
***
Luke headed back to the car at a hurried pace without looking back, repeating over and over again in his head why he needed to do this. He reached the car and got in, keeping his bag in his lap. "I did what you wanted," he said with a hushed voice, not making an effort to look at the guy in the driver's seat.
"I know. I heard you." Derek chuckled. "That was a good show. Very heartbreaking."
Clutching the bag tighter, Luke gritted his teeth and said nothing. He didn't want to start crying again. It seemed like Derek didn't even notice that he had remained silent or perhaps he didn't care. He was already thinking about his next step as he started the engine. Luke gazed into the distance after they took off and all he could think about was Reid. His heart was aching at the thought what he had just done to the man he loved, but he believed that he didn't have a choice if he wanted to protect him no matter what.
They drove in silence for a while, until Luke couldn't take it anymore. "Where are you taking me?" He asked, finally turning his head to look at Derek.
"You'll see. We're almost there." Derek said with a cheerful voice, darting a glance at Luke before focusing on the road again. "I'm sure you will like your new home."
Luke snorted. He leaned back in his seat and decided that it would be better to keep his mouth shut as he didn't have a plan on how to get out of this mess and not to piss Derek off right now. He wondered how this guy could go from furious to gleeful in such a short time and how he could really believe that he would stay with him any longer that he had to.
Derek suddenly slowed down and parked his car in front of a novel loft apartment building, which Luke recognized right away. He had never been inside of the stately building but driven past a few times when he and Reid had made one of their several weekend trips to Chicago. 'What are we doing here?' Luke thought. When they had hit the road he had been sure that Derek would take him to a secluded place, miles from anywhere, but today everything seemed to be the exception of the rule anyway.
"This looks amazing right?" Derek said cheerfully, touching Luke's shoulder for a moment. "Come on, let's go inside. I want to show you our new loft!" He grabbed the big envelope from the back seat, before he got out of the car.
Luke shook his head in disbelief. The content of the damn envelope was one of the main reasons that he was here right now. He sighed and reluctantly followed Derek into the building. He flinched and pulled away when Derek tried to put his hand on his back as they entered the elevator together and gave him the evil eye. Derek smirked in response.
"Hey, relax Luke. I'm not going to hurt you." Derek said, before he pushed a button.
Somehow Luke didn't quite believe him. Besides Derek had already psychologically hurt him by making him break up with Reid, but again he remained silent.
The elevator stopped on the seventh floor, bringing them into a narrow hallway with one door on either side. He followed Derek to the loft apartment on the right side. Derek unlocked the door and let him enter first. At a first glance everything appeared modern and valuable, what didn't surprise Luke one bit, knowing that Derek had inherited a lot of money from his father. Yet he knew right away when he looked around that he could never feel at home in this loft. He liked where he lived to be homey and didn't feel the need for of all this luxury. He watched as Derek locked the door and he slide the key into his jeans pocket, before the slightly older man took his bag from him only to put it down onto the black leather couch along with the envelope.
"Are you hungry?" Derek asked. "I don’t have much here yet, but I could make us a grilled cheese sandwich."
"I'm not hungry." Luke replied, crossing his arms above his chest. "And I don't want to be here."
"I'm not keeping you from leaving Luke, but you know what's going to happen if you decide to go." Derek said with a sardonic grin, pointing to the envelope on the couch. Luke sighed and his shoulders dropped, making Derek laugh. "That's what I thought."
"Just don't do anything to Reid, you promised that you wouldn't."
"Oh, I won't as long as he stays away from you, but otherwise I might have to pay him a visit to remind him." He smirked.
Luke clenched his fists, struggling to calm himself down. In that moment his phone rang and he quickly fished it out of his pants pocket, but before he could check the caller ID, Derek had already taken the phone from him. Luke sighed. "How long do you want to keep this up?"
"Keep what up?" Derek asked, moving closer to the blonde. "I saved you Luke! We belong together!" He reached his hands out to touch Luke's face, who stepped back from him. "Well, I guess you're still confused and it will take some time until you realize that we were made for each other."
"Never in a million years." Luke replied calmly.
Derek chuckled and picked up Luke's bag from the couch "Come on, I will show you where you're staying." He explained to the blonde that he would allow him to move about freely in the loft during the day, but had to stay in his room at night. He opened the door and stepped aside to let Luke walk in.
Luke took his bag from the brunette guy and grudgingly entered the room. The room contained a double bed in the middle of the room, a desk in front of the window with two water bottles on top of it and white wooden wardrobe. He walked further into the room taking a look at the attached bathroom, when he suddenly heard Derek lock the door. Luke put his suitcase onto the bed before he searched the wardrobe and the desk, but only found a few pieces of blank paper and realized that Derek must have planned this for a while.
He started to pace back and forth, running his hand through his hair. It dawned on him now how little he actually knew about his employee Derek Roberts and how he had somehow considered him as a friend. Come to think of it, Derek had mostly been the one who had asked questions, but never really told Luke that much about himself. Derek had showed up in his office one day a few months ago, offering him his help. He had told Luke that he had recently heard about the Luke Snyder Foundation and all he did was praise Luke over and over again about his work. Well that and that his childhood hadn't been the best having grown up without a mother and had a father who had cared more about his company than his own son. That in a nutshell was pretty much everything Luke knew about Derek apart from a few trifles. 'Just how stupid was I?'
(12 hours earlier)
Luke had a wakeful night behind him and still felt tired after his second cup of coffee. He had finally come to the decision that the time had come for Derek to leave, since he just seemed to ignore his friendly warnings and the 28-year-old started to make him feel more and more uncomfortable. Yet, he felt bad about his decision, since Derek had been a great help in the past few months.
"Are you okay?" Reid asked, after they had finished breakfast. He had noticed that Luke was pretty quiet this morning.
"Um, yeah sure." Luke replied, stuffing his phone into his pocket. "I just have this... thing at work today I'm kind of nervous about, but I'm sure it will work out fine. Let's talk about it tonight, okay?" He thought that his boyfriend didn't need to know about Derek's advances right now, not wanting to unnecessarily worry Reid, knowing that he could get pretty jealous at times.
"Okay. I think I might be able to make it home at a decent time today." Reid said and handed Luke his set of keys. "Here you go."
"Thank you." Luke gave him a warm smile, before he turned to leave.
"Um Luke, what about my goodbye kiss?" He asked with a light laugh.
Luke turned around again to face his boyfriend and saw that he was smirking. He moved closer to Reid, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night because I'm kind of nervous about the meeting I have this afternoon and I guess I'll need a lot of coffee today." He said, chuckling nervously.
Reid gave him a small smile, rubbing Luke's upper arms. "Are you sure that you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry Reid." Luke said; kissing his boyfriend goodbye before he finally left for work.
The meeting hadn't been just a pretense to distract Reid from the real reason he was so nervous. He actually did spent most of the day preparing for an unrelated meeting and then the actual meeting. That's why he only now, in the late evening, found the time to talk to Derek and asked him to come to his office for a moment while everybody else had already left.
"Thanks for coming." Luke said when Derek entered his office.
"No problem." Derek replied. "What can I do for you?"
"I need to talk to you about something." Luke got up and walked around the desk to lean against it. "Derek I'm really thankful for everything you have done for the Foundation in the past months but I think it's time for you to go. I've been thinking about this for a while and it's not easy for me to do this but I just don't feel comfortable working with you anymore." He watched as Derek's impression changed while he continued. "I told you to stop with the non-work related compliments and the invitations to go out to have dinner with you, but it seems like you decided to ignore it even after I told you that I'm in a committed relationship. So I feel like you don't give me any other choice but to ask you to go." The last word had barely left his mouth when Derek suddenly was right in front of him with two big steps, taking Luke by surprise. "Derek what---"
"Shut up!" Derek shouted. There was a moment of silence, their breathing the only thing audibly in the room. He lifted his hand, letting his forefinger trace over Luke's lips; he seemed to be thunderstruck. "I know you don't really mean that. You're just scared Luke. Don't you know that I'm in love with you? Ever since I first saw your interview on Oakdale Now a few months ago, I've wanted you for myself." He chuckled until he suddenly saw that Luke reached behind him obviously trying to reach the phone and quickly grabbed the blonde’s wrist in a tight grasp. The pain was getting worse as Derek continued.
"Ouch! Derek you're hurting me!"
"I said shut up!" Derek yelled. "I'll tell you what to do from now on." He made it clear to Luke that he had to break up with Reid and live with him from now on; unless he wanted his Dr. Oliver to lose his medical license. "I had enough time to prepare and I did find some interesting stuff about your doctor. So you might want to listen to me or Reid Oliver will never see the inside of an operating room ever again and you better make it clear to him to stay away from you, or I might have to hurt him."
***
That's how Luke's nightmare began.
Sitting down on the bed, Luke opened his bag searching for a t-shirt. It actually belonged to Reid, but he slept in it whenever his boyfriend had to work longer at Memorial and Luke had to go bed alone. When he found it, he clutched the t-shirt to his chest finally allowing himself to weep freely. He prayed that he would have a chance to explain everything to Reid one day and that he would forgive him for all this, that he would understand that he did it for him. He was torn between wanting Reid to fight for him and stay away from him because he didn't want Reid to get hurt.
Luke curled up in a ball, the t-shirt in his arms while tears silently ran down his cheeks. He needed to find a way out of this mess, as soon as possible.
***
Reid didn't know how long he sat on the cold tiles on the kitchen floor like that, his legs pulled close to his body, but he knew that it must have been a while since his mouth had long gone dry and his eyes hurt from crying.
For the first time in his life his work hadn't been the most important thing in his life anymore, after he and Luke became a couple. He had allowed himself to let somebody get close to him, to love somebody with all his heart even though he knew that sometimes love didn't last, what he now had to painfully experience firsthand. He had never felt worse in his life.
The vibrating of his phone in his trouser pocket pulled him out of his thoughts. His heart skipped a beat at the thought that it was Luke calling him to tell him that he already regretted the decision he had made, but his glimmer of hope was dashed in the next moment he saw Katie's number on the display. He hesitated for a moment but knew that Katie probably wouldn't give up until she reached him since he and Luke had planned to go over to her house after dinner today. So that he cleared his throat and answered the call. "Hi," he said with a faint voice.
"Where on earth are you two Reid? I swear if you and Luke are standing me up again because you can't keep your hands of each other, I'm never talking to you again!" Katie had been looking forward to a quiet evening with two of her best friends while her husband had to work at Memorial, but the two of them didn't show up at the agreed time. Her mood didn't get any better when she tried to call Luke who rejected her call, before his phone was suddenly turned off. "Reid? Are you still there?" She asked; when she realized that the redhead hadn't said anything.
"Luke isn't here." Reid admitted with a low voice.
"What do you mean he isn't there? Did something happen to him?"
"He is gone Katie. Luke left me." Saying it out loud hurt more than he thought it could and made it feel even more final.
"Oh my god! What happened?"
"I'm not really sure." Reid replied after a moment of silence.
"Don't go anywhere, I'm coming over." Katie said and ended the call before her best friend got the chance to protest.
Reid finally heaved himself up from the cold kitchen floor and put his phone onto the kitchen counter, before he dragged himself over to the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of beer out of it and downed it in one swing. Taking two more beer bottles out, Reid pushed the fridge close with his elbow and made his way into the living room.
Just as he was about to settle down on the couch, a loud knock resounded through the apartment. At times it could be kind of annoying that Katie and Chris lived in close by, but he had to admit that today it wasn't so bad. When Reid opened the door, he immediately was pulled into a tight embrace and he awkwardly hugged her back.
"You look awful." Katie said, after she pulled back to look at Reid.
Reid snorted. "Oh really? Because I feel great." He said; his voice heavy with sarcasm.
Katie rolled her eyes and followed her best friend into the living room, where they sat down on the couch next to each other. "What happened? Did you and Luke have a fight?"
Reid handed one of the beer bottles to Katie before he started to tell her how Luke suddenly had told him that he couldn't be with him anymore without any prior warning. "He said that he needed to do this, that it was better this way and..." He paused for a moment and let out a sigh, while Katie rubbed her hand in soothing circles on his back "...he said that he has been thinking about drinking again for the first time in years. I feel like an idiot Katie. I mean was I really that blind?"
"I don't know what to say. That just doesn't sound like Luke at all." Katie replied unbelieving. "Are you sure that there haven't been any signs?"
"Well if there were any I obviously missed them!" Reid snapped. He sighed, rubbing his sore eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry Katie, I didn't mean to snap at you like that", he said as he turned to look at the blonde. "Luke was kind of different this morning, but I didn't really read much into it. I just thought he was stressed because of work, but in fact he was probably thinking about a way to break up with me."
"I'm so sorry Reid." Katie said, squeezing Reid's shoulder. "To me it seemed like you two were so happy." Her voice trailed off. "If there is anything I can do..."
Reid snorted and got up from the couch. "There isn't anything you can do Katie. It's over and my life goes on." He mumbled. "You want another beer?"
"I don't believe this!" She got up from the couch, following Reid into the kitchen. "You can't just change the subject and act like it doesn't get to you!"
"Watch me!" Reid muttered as he opened the fridge, grabbing another bottle of beer.
"I can't believe you're giving up just like that!"
"What I'm supposed to do? According to you." Reid asked, leaving against the kitchen counter.
"First you should give him some time, give him a chance to calm down and think about what he did." Katie suggested. "Then you should call him and try to talk to him again. You need to fight for him Reid."
Reid swallowed, lowering his head. "I don't know if I can."
"Of course you can." Katie moved closer to him, wrapped her arm around his shoulders. "I will stay here tonight and we'll figure it out together."
"That's really not necessary."
"Too bad because you're not getting rid of me." Katie teased, playfully nudging Reid's shoulder, who gave her a small smile in return.
>> Part Two
Noticing that his boyfriend would be home soon after a quick glance at his watch, Reid decided to start preparing dinner for them. They often just ordered in or went out to eat when both of them were exhausted from work, but today he wanted to do make one of Luke's favorites, macaroni and cheese. Luke had been kind of rushed and nervous lately and Reid wanted to do something nice for his him, hoping that his boyfriend was only stressed at work and that if it was something else Luke would talk to him about it.
When he had first arrived in Oakdale almost two years ago, it had been inconceivable for him to do even think about cooking something for anybody, but he loved Luke and he liked to surprise his boyfriend from time to time.
He was genuinely happy as he started to put together dinner. He thought about the times he and Luke had cooked together in their new home while he stood in the kitchen, preparing the dish. Reid had to smile, remembering that most of the times they had tried to cook something together it had ended in a disaster and yet it didn't really matter 'cause they had fun doing it together. But he could manage making simple things like macaroni and cheese.
Reid had put the casserole dish into the oven and was about to set the table, when he heard Luke calling for him from the living room. "I'm in the kitchen!" He shouted, continuing to lay the table.
"I need to talk to you." Luke said, stopping in the kitchen doorway.
Reid wasn't surprised to hear him say that since he had already assumed that something had been bothering his boyfriend in the past few days and he was glad that Luke finally decided to talk to him about it. "Sit down, I’ll get us something to drink and then we can talk." He said as he walked over to the fridge to get two cans of soda. "I hope you're hungry, I have macaroni and cheese in the oven."
The redhead finally turned to look at the blonde, when he didn't give any response and saw that Luke was still standing at the same spot. "Hey, what's wrong?" Reid asked and walked towards his boyfriend, noticing how pale he was. He lifted his hand to touch Luke's cheek, but the younger man backed away. "Luke?"
"Reid... I... I can't..." Luke stuttered; his entire body was shaking. He stepped back again, when Reid tried to touch him, holding up a hand "Don't."
"What is it? You're starting to worry me Luke, please talk to me!" Reid almost begged and he was seriously starting to panic. "Are you not feeling well? Is something wrong with you kidney? I’ll get tested and we'll find---"
"Reid stop it!" Luke shouted. He took a deep breath, lowering his head for a moment, before he looked up again. "Look I don't know how to say this without hurting you, so I guess I'll just get it over with" he exhaled "I can't be with you anymore."
There was a moment of silence between them, as Reid needed a second or two to progress the words Luke had just said, his heart pounding loudly in his chest. "What are you saying? Are you breaking up with me?"
"Believe me, it’s better that way." Luke sniffled, wiping a tear away. He quickly turned on his heels heading for their bedroom, with Reid following close behind.
"How is this supposed to be better!?" Reid asked, who was close to tears by now. He couldn't wrap his brain around what was happening. "I don't understand this. Why are you doing this Luke? You can't just leave just like that!"
Luke silently grabbed his suitcase from under the bed and put it onto a chair near the wardrobe before he paused a moment to look at Reid. "I need to do this Reid." He opened his side of the wardrobe, starting to indiscriminately stuff some off his clothes into it.
"Where are you going?" Reid asked, with a lump in his throat.
"Derek offered to let me stay with him for a while." Luke replied, without looking up.
"Derek?" Reid asked, following the blonde into their attached bathroom. "Why him?"
"I really need to do this Reid." Luke collected his toothbrush and a few of his beauty products, avoiding looking at the older man the entire time. "I can't stay here any longer." He said and turned on his heels to walk back into the bedroom.
"Luke please, can't we talk about this? We just moved in together and..." His voice trailed off, watching as the blonde closed the suitcase before he finally turned to look at him. "Did I do something wrong?"
Luke knew he needed to lie and say something that would hurt Reid if he wanted him to stay away and had already concocted the words he was going to say. "I just... I can't do this anymore okay? We fight about the stupidest things all the time. Sometimes I feel like you don't even try to get along with my family, even though you know how much they mean to me and at times I even have to beg you to go out with me. I mean, I know that you're tired from work and all but..." his voice trailed off "it's just too much, I can't take it anymore. I tried but... I've been thinking about drinking again for the first time in a long time and that's how I know that it's time for me to leave. It's over Reid."
Reid was thunderstruck, his arms heavy on his sides, while he could do nothing, but watch Luke walk out of his life. He wanted to stop the blonde, telling him that he loved him; that they would work it out, but he couldn't move. His legs gave in and he sank down onto the bed, suddenly noticing that a tear was running down his cheek. It was an unfamiliar feeling, he hadn't cried since his parents died when he was still a kid. He attempted to wipe the tear away, but more were already following.
Nothing of this felt right to him. He remembered how Luke had told him the first time that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. It had been on a rainy Saturday morning, which they had spent in bed together and Reid would never forget that moment. So how could this be happening? He felt like he had tried his best to get along with Luke's family and that they even started to accept him and even like him. He hadn't seen this coming at all.
'Did I just miss the signs?' Reid wondered. Just this morning Luke had forgotten to kiss him like he usually did when he left for work. At that time Reid still thought it had only been because Luke had been stressed, but now he kind of felt like an idiot for believing that. How could he have been so stupid to believe that Luke would really spend the rest of his life with somebody like him?
He didn't know how long he sat there like that, when he suddenly heard a loud beeping sound. It took him a moment to realize that it was the smoke detector in the kitchen. Cursing, Reid quickly headed into the direction of the kitchen, smoke already coming towards him on his way. He opened the window and then the oven to put the smoky casserole dish into the sink, before he could finally intercept the smoke detector.
"Fuck!" Reid swore, kicking one the kitchen chairs over. He sank down to the ground, leaning back against the kitchen counter and closed his eyes.
How could he live on without Luke?
***
Luke headed back to the car at a hurried pace without looking back, repeating over and over again in his head why he needed to do this. He reached the car and got in, keeping his bag in his lap. "I did what you wanted," he said with a hushed voice, not making an effort to look at the guy in the driver's seat.
"I know. I heard you." Derek chuckled. "That was a good show. Very heartbreaking."
Clutching the bag tighter, Luke gritted his teeth and said nothing. He didn't want to start crying again. It seemed like Derek didn't even notice that he had remained silent or perhaps he didn't care. He was already thinking about his next step as he started the engine. Luke gazed into the distance after they took off and all he could think about was Reid. His heart was aching at the thought what he had just done to the man he loved, but he believed that he didn't have a choice if he wanted to protect him no matter what.
They drove in silence for a while, until Luke couldn't take it anymore. "Where are you taking me?" He asked, finally turning his head to look at Derek.
"You'll see. We're almost there." Derek said with a cheerful voice, darting a glance at Luke before focusing on the road again. "I'm sure you will like your new home."
Luke snorted. He leaned back in his seat and decided that it would be better to keep his mouth shut as he didn't have a plan on how to get out of this mess and not to piss Derek off right now. He wondered how this guy could go from furious to gleeful in such a short time and how he could really believe that he would stay with him any longer that he had to.
Derek suddenly slowed down and parked his car in front of a novel loft apartment building, which Luke recognized right away. He had never been inside of the stately building but driven past a few times when he and Reid had made one of their several weekend trips to Chicago. 'What are we doing here?' Luke thought. When they had hit the road he had been sure that Derek would take him to a secluded place, miles from anywhere, but today everything seemed to be the exception of the rule anyway.
"This looks amazing right?" Derek said cheerfully, touching Luke's shoulder for a moment. "Come on, let's go inside. I want to show you our new loft!" He grabbed the big envelope from the back seat, before he got out of the car.
Luke shook his head in disbelief. The content of the damn envelope was one of the main reasons that he was here right now. He sighed and reluctantly followed Derek into the building. He flinched and pulled away when Derek tried to put his hand on his back as they entered the elevator together and gave him the evil eye. Derek smirked in response.
"Hey, relax Luke. I'm not going to hurt you." Derek said, before he pushed a button.
Somehow Luke didn't quite believe him. Besides Derek had already psychologically hurt him by making him break up with Reid, but again he remained silent.
The elevator stopped on the seventh floor, bringing them into a narrow hallway with one door on either side. He followed Derek to the loft apartment on the right side. Derek unlocked the door and let him enter first. At a first glance everything appeared modern and valuable, what didn't surprise Luke one bit, knowing that Derek had inherited a lot of money from his father. Yet he knew right away when he looked around that he could never feel at home in this loft. He liked where he lived to be homey and didn't feel the need for of all this luxury. He watched as Derek locked the door and he slide the key into his jeans pocket, before the slightly older man took his bag from him only to put it down onto the black leather couch along with the envelope.
"Are you hungry?" Derek asked. "I don’t have much here yet, but I could make us a grilled cheese sandwich."
"I'm not hungry." Luke replied, crossing his arms above his chest. "And I don't want to be here."
"I'm not keeping you from leaving Luke, but you know what's going to happen if you decide to go." Derek said with a sardonic grin, pointing to the envelope on the couch. Luke sighed and his shoulders dropped, making Derek laugh. "That's what I thought."
"Just don't do anything to Reid, you promised that you wouldn't."
"Oh, I won't as long as he stays away from you, but otherwise I might have to pay him a visit to remind him." He smirked.
Luke clenched his fists, struggling to calm himself down. In that moment his phone rang and he quickly fished it out of his pants pocket, but before he could check the caller ID, Derek had already taken the phone from him. Luke sighed. "How long do you want to keep this up?"
"Keep what up?" Derek asked, moving closer to the blonde. "I saved you Luke! We belong together!" He reached his hands out to touch Luke's face, who stepped back from him. "Well, I guess you're still confused and it will take some time until you realize that we were made for each other."
"Never in a million years." Luke replied calmly.
Derek chuckled and picked up Luke's bag from the couch "Come on, I will show you where you're staying." He explained to the blonde that he would allow him to move about freely in the loft during the day, but had to stay in his room at night. He opened the door and stepped aside to let Luke walk in.
Luke took his bag from the brunette guy and grudgingly entered the room. The room contained a double bed in the middle of the room, a desk in front of the window with two water bottles on top of it and white wooden wardrobe. He walked further into the room taking a look at the attached bathroom, when he suddenly heard Derek lock the door. Luke put his suitcase onto the bed before he searched the wardrobe and the desk, but only found a few pieces of blank paper and realized that Derek must have planned this for a while.
He started to pace back and forth, running his hand through his hair. It dawned on him now how little he actually knew about his employee Derek Roberts and how he had somehow considered him as a friend. Come to think of it, Derek had mostly been the one who had asked questions, but never really told Luke that much about himself. Derek had showed up in his office one day a few months ago, offering him his help. He had told Luke that he had recently heard about the Luke Snyder Foundation and all he did was praise Luke over and over again about his work. Well that and that his childhood hadn't been the best having grown up without a mother and had a father who had cared more about his company than his own son. That in a nutshell was pretty much everything Luke knew about Derek apart from a few trifles. 'Just how stupid was I?'
(12 hours earlier)
Luke had a wakeful night behind him and still felt tired after his second cup of coffee. He had finally come to the decision that the time had come for Derek to leave, since he just seemed to ignore his friendly warnings and the 28-year-old started to make him feel more and more uncomfortable. Yet, he felt bad about his decision, since Derek had been a great help in the past few months.
"Are you okay?" Reid asked, after they had finished breakfast. He had noticed that Luke was pretty quiet this morning.
"Um, yeah sure." Luke replied, stuffing his phone into his pocket. "I just have this... thing at work today I'm kind of nervous about, but I'm sure it will work out fine. Let's talk about it tonight, okay?" He thought that his boyfriend didn't need to know about Derek's advances right now, not wanting to unnecessarily worry Reid, knowing that he could get pretty jealous at times.
"Okay. I think I might be able to make it home at a decent time today." Reid said and handed Luke his set of keys. "Here you go."
"Thank you." Luke gave him a warm smile, before he turned to leave.
"Um Luke, what about my goodbye kiss?" He asked with a light laugh.
Luke turned around again to face his boyfriend and saw that he was smirking. He moved closer to Reid, wrapping his arms around his waist. "I'm sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night because I'm kind of nervous about the meeting I have this afternoon and I guess I'll need a lot of coffee today." He said, chuckling nervously.
Reid gave him a small smile, rubbing Luke's upper arms. "Are you sure that you're okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry Reid." Luke said; kissing his boyfriend goodbye before he finally left for work.
The meeting hadn't been just a pretense to distract Reid from the real reason he was so nervous. He actually did spent most of the day preparing for an unrelated meeting and then the actual meeting. That's why he only now, in the late evening, found the time to talk to Derek and asked him to come to his office for a moment while everybody else had already left.
"Thanks for coming." Luke said when Derek entered his office.
"No problem." Derek replied. "What can I do for you?"
"I need to talk to you about something." Luke got up and walked around the desk to lean against it. "Derek I'm really thankful for everything you have done for the Foundation in the past months but I think it's time for you to go. I've been thinking about this for a while and it's not easy for me to do this but I just don't feel comfortable working with you anymore." He watched as Derek's impression changed while he continued. "I told you to stop with the non-work related compliments and the invitations to go out to have dinner with you, but it seems like you decided to ignore it even after I told you that I'm in a committed relationship. So I feel like you don't give me any other choice but to ask you to go." The last word had barely left his mouth when Derek suddenly was right in front of him with two big steps, taking Luke by surprise. "Derek what---"
"Shut up!" Derek shouted. There was a moment of silence, their breathing the only thing audibly in the room. He lifted his hand, letting his forefinger trace over Luke's lips; he seemed to be thunderstruck. "I know you don't really mean that. You're just scared Luke. Don't you know that I'm in love with you? Ever since I first saw your interview on Oakdale Now a few months ago, I've wanted you for myself." He chuckled until he suddenly saw that Luke reached behind him obviously trying to reach the phone and quickly grabbed the blonde’s wrist in a tight grasp. The pain was getting worse as Derek continued.
"Ouch! Derek you're hurting me!"
"I said shut up!" Derek yelled. "I'll tell you what to do from now on." He made it clear to Luke that he had to break up with Reid and live with him from now on; unless he wanted his Dr. Oliver to lose his medical license. "I had enough time to prepare and I did find some interesting stuff about your doctor. So you might want to listen to me or Reid Oliver will never see the inside of an operating room ever again and you better make it clear to him to stay away from you, or I might have to hurt him."
***
That's how Luke's nightmare began.
Sitting down on the bed, Luke opened his bag searching for a t-shirt. It actually belonged to Reid, but he slept in it whenever his boyfriend had to work longer at Memorial and Luke had to go bed alone. When he found it, he clutched the t-shirt to his chest finally allowing himself to weep freely. He prayed that he would have a chance to explain everything to Reid one day and that he would forgive him for all this, that he would understand that he did it for him. He was torn between wanting Reid to fight for him and stay away from him because he didn't want Reid to get hurt.
Luke curled up in a ball, the t-shirt in his arms while tears silently ran down his cheeks. He needed to find a way out of this mess, as soon as possible.
***
Reid didn't know how long he sat on the cold tiles on the kitchen floor like that, his legs pulled close to his body, but he knew that it must have been a while since his mouth had long gone dry and his eyes hurt from crying.
For the first time in his life his work hadn't been the most important thing in his life anymore, after he and Luke became a couple. He had allowed himself to let somebody get close to him, to love somebody with all his heart even though he knew that sometimes love didn't last, what he now had to painfully experience firsthand. He had never felt worse in his life.
The vibrating of his phone in his trouser pocket pulled him out of his thoughts. His heart skipped a beat at the thought that it was Luke calling him to tell him that he already regretted the decision he had made, but his glimmer of hope was dashed in the next moment he saw Katie's number on the display. He hesitated for a moment but knew that Katie probably wouldn't give up until she reached him since he and Luke had planned to go over to her house after dinner today. So that he cleared his throat and answered the call. "Hi," he said with a faint voice.
"Where on earth are you two Reid? I swear if you and Luke are standing me up again because you can't keep your hands of each other, I'm never talking to you again!" Katie had been looking forward to a quiet evening with two of her best friends while her husband had to work at Memorial, but the two of them didn't show up at the agreed time. Her mood didn't get any better when she tried to call Luke who rejected her call, before his phone was suddenly turned off. "Reid? Are you still there?" She asked; when she realized that the redhead hadn't said anything.
"Luke isn't here." Reid admitted with a low voice.
"What do you mean he isn't there? Did something happen to him?"
"He is gone Katie. Luke left me." Saying it out loud hurt more than he thought it could and made it feel even more final.
"Oh my god! What happened?"
"I'm not really sure." Reid replied after a moment of silence.
"Don't go anywhere, I'm coming over." Katie said and ended the call before her best friend got the chance to protest.
Reid finally heaved himself up from the cold kitchen floor and put his phone onto the kitchen counter, before he dragged himself over to the fridge. He grabbed a bottle of beer out of it and downed it in one swing. Taking two more beer bottles out, Reid pushed the fridge close with his elbow and made his way into the living room.
Just as he was about to settle down on the couch, a loud knock resounded through the apartment. At times it could be kind of annoying that Katie and Chris lived in close by, but he had to admit that today it wasn't so bad. When Reid opened the door, he immediately was pulled into a tight embrace and he awkwardly hugged her back.
"You look awful." Katie said, after she pulled back to look at Reid.
Reid snorted. "Oh really? Because I feel great." He said; his voice heavy with sarcasm.
Katie rolled her eyes and followed her best friend into the living room, where they sat down on the couch next to each other. "What happened? Did you and Luke have a fight?"
Reid handed one of the beer bottles to Katie before he started to tell her how Luke suddenly had told him that he couldn't be with him anymore without any prior warning. "He said that he needed to do this, that it was better this way and..." He paused for a moment and let out a sigh, while Katie rubbed her hand in soothing circles on his back "...he said that he has been thinking about drinking again for the first time in years. I feel like an idiot Katie. I mean was I really that blind?"
"I don't know what to say. That just doesn't sound like Luke at all." Katie replied unbelieving. "Are you sure that there haven't been any signs?"
"Well if there were any I obviously missed them!" Reid snapped. He sighed, rubbing his sore eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry Katie, I didn't mean to snap at you like that", he said as he turned to look at the blonde. "Luke was kind of different this morning, but I didn't really read much into it. I just thought he was stressed because of work, but in fact he was probably thinking about a way to break up with me."
"I'm so sorry Reid." Katie said, squeezing Reid's shoulder. "To me it seemed like you two were so happy." Her voice trailed off. "If there is anything I can do..."
Reid snorted and got up from the couch. "There isn't anything you can do Katie. It's over and my life goes on." He mumbled. "You want another beer?"
"I don't believe this!" She got up from the couch, following Reid into the kitchen. "You can't just change the subject and act like it doesn't get to you!"
"Watch me!" Reid muttered as he opened the fridge, grabbing another bottle of beer.
"I can't believe you're giving up just like that!"
"What I'm supposed to do? According to you." Reid asked, leaving against the kitchen counter.
"First you should give him some time, give him a chance to calm down and think about what he did." Katie suggested. "Then you should call him and try to talk to him again. You need to fight for him Reid."
Reid swallowed, lowering his head. "I don't know if I can."
"Of course you can." Katie moved closer to him, wrapped her arm around his shoulders. "I will stay here tonight and we'll figure it out together."
"That's really not necessary."
"Too bad because you're not getting rid of me." Katie teased, playfully nudging Reid's shoulder, who gave her a small smile in return.
>> Part Two