Library List
This is an incomplete list of books found in the Carriero library, notably those out of the ordinary or with side-effects. If you have any suggestions for titles and descriptions, feel free to leave them here!
Alone With My Toast
Diary format, this details 365 days of the writer's obsession with toast. Possibly autobiographical, known to inspire hatred of toast in readers.
Attack of the Killer Dustbunnies
In a post-apocalyptic world, small groups of people struggle to survive in a harsh land populated by giant cockroaches and dustbunnies who just happen to make ruthless, bloodthirsty killers.
The Bridge
An emotional tale sent in 1920s Chicago: crime, love, and a surprising amount of Dixie through the eyes of a delivery boy.
The Cheese Aficionado
The tale of a reclusive old man and his quest to taste and collect every type of cheese in his world.
Don't Panic!
Title assumed, never been read. The contents are somewhat difficult to get at, as every time someone touches the pages, they are seized by the urge to find the nearest towel and figure out every single use of it.
Falling With Style: A How-To Guide
Complete with step-by-step diagrams and illustrations! In the later chapters, there are some suggestions on the theory of how to miss the ground when you do so, but in very vague terms and with fewer explicit guides, mostly consisting of attractive pairs of legs.
The Flatulent Fairy
A depressing, slice-of-life novel set inside the titular tavern (presumably named after a fairy with that quality), wherein every character introduced is killed off before the book is over.
LOLCATS: IN UR LIBRARY VERBIN UR NOUNS
A very thorough instruction manual on how to properly construct a language called 'lolspeak' from English. Illustrated with amusing photographs of cats.
Murder, And How to Get Away With It
A murder mystery that rather fails to live up to its title.
My Pony Likes Kitten
A rather fanciful story about a young boy lost in a large city. Note that there isn't a single pony or feline in the entire book.
Nosferamoo
The oddly happy tale of a bumbling, vampiric cow.
Onomatopoeia and You
A fascinating read!
The Optimistic Goldfish
The dark and depressing tale of a cheerful goldfish living in a small bowl on the coffee table of a messy living room.
The Running of the Penguins
A rather tasteless satire centered around the graphic sexual exploits of a convent of nuns. NOT for children.
Twilight Stalker
A young woman realizes she is being stalked by a vampire and promptly falls in love with him. For some reason, the vampire seems to sparkle in the moonlight
Why Blueberry Jam Doesn't Go There
A recipe book with an Icelandic focus.
Ye Olde Indexe
A book with a thousand pages. It is clearly rather old, and is hidden rather deep within the library. On the back cover is a simple table of contents - "1: Beer", "217: Wine", "408: Spirit", "752: Liqueurs", and "890: Cocktails". Each sheet of the book describes some beverage, along with tedious detail on methods of distillation, fermentation, recipies, or other techniques relevant to the drink in question, in tedious detail with miniscule print. So why does the book look so well read, to the point that its corners are growing round? Simple: Each sheet also bears the taste and effects of the beverage it describes. (Tearing off corners for your own use will not work - the paper loses its effect outside of the book.) About forty pages of the book altogether describe drinks that do not exist on Earth, most notably a page that is blank on one side and on the other only describes how to tie a lemon to a golden brick with cherry stems.
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Alone With My Toast
Diary format, this details 365 days of the writer's obsession with toast. Possibly autobiographical, known to inspire hatred of toast in readers.
Attack of the Killer Dustbunnies
In a post-apocalyptic world, small groups of people struggle to survive in a harsh land populated by giant cockroaches and dustbunnies who just happen to make ruthless, bloodthirsty killers.
The Bridge
An emotional tale sent in 1920s Chicago: crime, love, and a surprising amount of Dixie through the eyes of a delivery boy.
The Cheese Aficionado
The tale of a reclusive old man and his quest to taste and collect every type of cheese in his world.
Don't Panic!
Title assumed, never been read. The contents are somewhat difficult to get at, as every time someone touches the pages, they are seized by the urge to find the nearest towel and figure out every single use of it.
Falling With Style: A How-To Guide
Complete with step-by-step diagrams and illustrations! In the later chapters, there are some suggestions on the theory of how to miss the ground when you do so, but in very vague terms and with fewer explicit guides, mostly consisting of attractive pairs of legs.
The Flatulent Fairy
A depressing, slice-of-life novel set inside the titular tavern (presumably named after a fairy with that quality), wherein every character introduced is killed off before the book is over.
LOLCATS: IN UR LIBRARY VERBIN UR NOUNS
A very thorough instruction manual on how to properly construct a language called 'lolspeak' from English. Illustrated with amusing photographs of cats.
Murder, And How to Get Away With It
A murder mystery that rather fails to live up to its title.
My Pony Likes Kitten
A rather fanciful story about a young boy lost in a large city. Note that there isn't a single pony or feline in the entire book.
Nosferamoo
The oddly happy tale of a bumbling, vampiric cow.
Onomatopoeia and You
A fascinating read!
The Optimistic Goldfish
The dark and depressing tale of a cheerful goldfish living in a small bowl on the coffee table of a messy living room.
The Running of the Penguins
A rather tasteless satire centered around the graphic sexual exploits of a convent of nuns. NOT for children.
Twilight Stalker
A young woman realizes she is being stalked by a vampire and promptly falls in love with him. For some reason, the vampire seems to sparkle in the moonlight
Why Blueberry Jam Doesn't Go There
A recipe book with an Icelandic focus.
Ye Olde Indexe
A book with a thousand pages. It is clearly rather old, and is hidden rather deep within the library. On the back cover is a simple table of contents - "1: Beer", "217: Wine", "408: Spirit", "752: Liqueurs", and "890: Cocktails". Each sheet of the book describes some beverage, along with tedious detail on methods of distillation, fermentation, recipies, or other techniques relevant to the drink in question, in tedious detail with miniscule print. So why does the book look so well read, to the point that its corners are growing round? Simple: Each sheet also bears the taste and effects of the beverage it describes. (Tearing off corners for your own use will not work - the paper loses its effect outside of the book.) About forty pages of the book altogether describe drinks that do not exist on Earth, most notably a page that is blank on one side and on the other only describes how to tie a lemon to a golden brick with cherry stems.
Navigation