[Crack Plot] Attack of the Vampire Melons!!!

[gardenwarlock]

A hot night in July, the kind of night when the air hangs heavy and still, not a breath of air to stir the leaves of the trees, or the curtains of windows left open in the Mansion, to let in what fresh air there might be. A full moon shines through the treetops, silvering the drowsy land and trees, painting every leaf in blue-white light

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[surfaceshine]

Okay, so, it's not like insomnia or drinking are new things to Dean; in point of fact, they've been his close companions for quite some time now, and he was well associated with them even before that. For the most part, he doesn't seem to have a problem with either of them, unless Sam is nagging him; it's kind of just how life is

[gardenwarlock]

He might hear something else growling, though this sounds human and it's uttering words. albeit curses in German. A tall, muscular but slightly rangy-looking fellow comes barreling across the lawn, wielding a hoe and chasing a melon. He strikes out at the thing with the hoe, but it eludes him, and a second one rolls up behind him, whacking him in the backs of his ankles, sending him sprawling on his face.

"Scheisse..." the German dude spits, pulling himself up on one elbow, as the melon rolls up his back and bonks him on the head.

[surfaceshine]

Dean wastes about thirty seconds just staring, because really, what else is a guy supposed to do? Besides, he can't see how any real damage is going to be done; they don't exactly have teeth. So while he does put down the whiskey safely out of bounds of anything that doesn't have joints or wings, Dean doesn't exactly feel compelled to strain his leg going racing to the rescue or anything. He picks up a broom leaning against the house instead, and uses it to ease himself down the stairs; once on even ground, he dodges the one he'd been watching to begin with - still angrily trying to storm the Mansion, which Dean wishes it luck with - and moves towards the faceplanted guy.

"Hey, dude." Taking the broom into both hands, the hunter swings it like a golf club to dislodge the fruit atop the stranger. "I'm no expert or anything, but your fruit salad is looking a bit lively."

[gardenwarlock]

The tall guy lifts himself onto one elbow. "Damned if I know how these melons came to stray from my garden: I put no spell on them aside from a spell to speed their growth. It should not have caused *this*."

[in_summer_leaf]

In his fourth-floor bedroom up under the roof eaves, Hisoka throws back the sheets and leaps from his bed, hurls the window sash up, and leans out into the moonlight. What the HELL...?

Below, he can see it. The wave of dread fruits rolling and bumping up to the very foundations of the house. The terrible growling, presaging who knows what ominous outcome. "Hey! What's all this racket?" he shouts. "Don't tell me we have a bewitched melon patch??"

[cute_shinigami]

Tsuzuki was dreaming about fresh melon, as luck would have it... he was dreaming of slicing one open and cutting it into sections, when the slice suddenly emits a loud snarl, bends around and clamps down on his mouth.

He awakens with a yell and sits there, sweating and panting, shirtless on this sweltering night. The growling is continuing though, as evidenced by the sound outside the window.

Grabbing an ofuda, he runs out the door and down the stairs, heading for the lawn...

[in_summer_leaf]

Hisoka is now half out of the window, elbows planted on the wide sill, a cool breeze ruffling his hair. Blissfully unaware of Tsuzuki's nightmare vision of the importunate melon, he calls, "What's up, Tsuzuki?--can a fuda strip double as a fruit knife?"

[cute_shinigami]

Tsuzuki pauses and turns to look up. "They're possessed! the melons are possessed!" he yells back. "Someone must have put a spell on them: I just dreamt I got bit by one!"

[whutobjection]

Phoenix has gone through (freakin') Morgoth taunting him in the middle of the night, so as soon as he hears the rumbling of those Angry Melons (spinoff much?) he bounds outside clad in his night clothes. (Which right now, consists of only boxers and a thin wife-beater.)

As soon as he sees the rolling, growing, melons he says only six words:

"What the hell is this shit?!"

[zhany_silver]

And just as Pheonix finishes his cussing, a melon leaps at him, only to be immediately cut in half by a silver flame that is vaguely reminiscent of a Jedi light-saber.

The Silver Ranger takes a defensive Kung-Fu pose, in front of the scantily clad man, and says, "Get back inside, sir, it's not safe!"

Oh yes, Zhane has been missing the action, can you tell?

[mal_badinlatin]

Mal has recovered from the wolf attack, and he's started keeping a closer eye on the stables after that incident. He was just on the way back from double-checking the latches on the doors when he heard the racket in the yard.

Thus he'll come running across the lawn, shirtless, and armed with a mallet, trying to whack at the darn things. But they keep rolling or bouncing out of the way.

[regency_twihard]

Cathy was dozing on a couch in the library, a copy of the first volume of "Varney the Vampire", draped over her chest. She was dreaming of a pale shadow leaning over her and said shadow was about to begin licking the hollow of her throat, when something startles her awake. She sits up, hearing something outside. Have the wolves returned?

She runs to the window, where she sees something rummaging about in the shadows, and hears something growling.

"EEK! The melons are alive!"

[only_paul]

Paul was out in the library too, burning the legendary midnight oil. When he hears Cathy's scream, he comes out, already brandishing a cross on pure reflex. "What is it?"

[regency_twihard]

She points a quivering hand at the open window. "Th-th-the melons... they've come to life and they're g-growling."

[only_paul]

Paul stares. "--- if my lore is anything to go by, so long as we don't invite them in..."

[lorien_gal]

Galadriel is far from pleased with this turn of events. She'll be out, weilding what power of her own she has, vanquishing, or rather, vegetating one melon at a time, and trying not to let anger take her over as she works.

[gardenwarlock]

The warlock who's unwittingly responsible for this strange set of affairs will come charging across the lawn, trying to whack at an especially elusive melon with a hoe. The thing charges under the blade and bangs into his ankles.

"Verdammt!" he snarls, trying to kick the thing.

[lorien_gal]

"Leave it," Galadriel says, gliding calmly to handle it.

She murmurs something unintelligible in Sindarin, to return the melon to its vegetable glory.

[gardenwarlock]

He stares at the melon for a moment, then pokes it a bit with one toe, then looks up at Galadriel. "Your ladyship has my thanks," he replies, bowing a bit. "But if you know how to silence these ambulant melons, do you know how they came to be so voluble in the first place?" he asks.