[open] mama we all go to hell

[mostcraftiest]

Curufin is not at his best right now. Of course, he has not really been at his best since arriving here, in one way or another, but just the same. Since being driven back inside (as he thinks of it) by Caranthir, he's locked himself in his room and pretty much hasn't stopped pacing.

And it's not just restlessness and pent up energy, either; he

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[i_hate_valar]

Feanor Does Not approve of this -- whatever it is. He's been looking for a son, not finding him, and generally hasn't felt very in tune with his boys.

And he's going looking for his favorite son - they need to have a talk of sorts, after all.

He knocks, tries the doorknob without waiting.

Typist willing, a father will poke his head in, then.

[i_hate_valar]

Feanor nods. And would argue that while he ... may not quite understand his son, part of him does - and part of him feels responsible for him and protective. (Of all his boys, really - but for Maitimo, this may be a bit of a change.)

He nods, then, and doesn't speak again for a moment. "It was -- a demanding encounter," he says at last.

[mostcraftiest]

Well yes, Feanor gets all of his sons a lot more than Curufin gets most of his brothers. Mr. Stunted Emotional Growth missed a train somewhere on the family emotions line, we guess. "--I can imagine," Curufin says, quietly. "I am - tempted to apologize, I confess." For my brothers. For our failure? He may not even be sure.

[i_hate_valar]

"To whom, and for what?" The question is asked lightly - Feanor can tell that his boy isn't well, and isn't going to be harsh on him.

[mostcraftiest]

"--to you," after a moment. "It is - a poor greeting for you to receive, here. And wherever the fault is, I am sorry for it."

Feanor is less in denial than Curufin, though! Not that there is really anyone in more denial about his current state of being.

[i_hate_valar]

Feanor sighs, and pauses. "Come now, son, and look at me." He really wants Curufin to look Feanor straight in the eye for this.

[mostcraftiest]

Oh no. He doesn't like the sound of that. He tenses, slightly, but only barely visibly, and turns to look slightly up at his father. "--yes?" He's not - certain what this means, but the uneasiness is there, if deeply buried.

He will be brave, always, before his father.

[i_hate_valar]

Feanor puts both hands on his shoulders, and says, firmly, not unkindly, but also very... clearly, "You are not responsible for your brother's doings, Kurvo. You are only responsible for you, and for that boy of yours. You hear?"

[mostcraftiest]

Of course I'm responsible for them, who else is going to make sure they do what they're supposed to? But - obedience, and he's drilled himself in that long enough to be able to nod, though with a little bit of difficulty. And trying not to - well, almost flinch at the mention of Tyelpe.

He doesn't quite look away, though perhaps the flicker of his eyes shows how tempted he is to. "I should - speak to you about him."

[i_hate_valar]

"Then do," Feanor replies, still... extremely calm, though there's a touch of apprehension in there as well. "I will listen, of course."

There's no judgment - he's broken his sons enough as it is.

[mostcraftiest]

There is...a bit of a sigh, and he does look away. It's all right, Feanor, this one, you don't need to judge to feel like a failure all by himself. "--I do not think," carefully, "That it is - likely that there will be any resolution between us. I am - relatively certain that any more attempt would be...fruitless and detrimental. I suppose that is all."

[i_hate_valar]

Feanor facepalms a moment. His next question is quiet. "Truly?"

[mostcraftiest]

It aches, saying it again, and to his own father, but he knows what he heard, and he knows what he is willing and unwilling to do, and knows that whatever else he did not inherit, Tyelpe certainly has his obstinacy.

"Truly." And there, though only ever for you, daddy, is a little bit of the weariness the finality of that loss brings.

[i_hate_valar]

This -- is not good news, and Feanor just pulls his boy in an embrace (yes, even if he resists).

Because there are no words.

[mostcraftiest]

He might tense, and perhaps twitch a little, but not resist. Not quite. Although it's hard, and he is a touch awkward. Hugs are not something that come easily to him.

But he lets it happen, even if he's not sure what good it does. Or is, actually: none.

I'm a failure as a father I'm sorry to disappoint you.

[i_hate_valar]

Feanor is going to hang on, though. Quietly, he'll say, "I'm sorry I did not teach you better."