Fic: Those Old Streetscapes 11/? (Glee, Puck/Kurt, PG)
Title: Those Old Streetscapes 11/?
Fandom: Glee/So You Think You Can Dance
Pairing: Puck/Kurt
Rating: PG
Word count: 8630
Warnings: Cheesiness. Lack of dance knowledge. Random Cat Deeley fangirling.
Summary: AU. Kurt's a classically trained dancer who has trouble connecting to his audience. Puck's a novice b-boy with loads of charisma and not a whole lot else. When they meet at the New York auditions for So You Think You Can Dance, both their lives change in more ways than they anticipated.
A/N: I am under the wire, as usual, and didn't have that much time for a thorough going-over of this installment. Feel free to point out any glaring errors.
Week Seven: Top Fourteen Perform
Puck wasn’t jealous.
He wasn’t; just because Kurt hadn’t shut up about Travis Wall since he found out Travis was Kurt’s choreographer this week, it didn’t mean anything. Puck already knew Kurt had a thing for Travis, just like he knew Kurt was probably going to get a chance to work with him eventually, so he’d sort of been bracing himself for a week of Travis’ Greatest Hits.
In a way he was sort of grateful for the timing, because things were kind of weird between them after Kurt’s family went home. So if landing Travis as his choreographer distracted Kurt from the sidelong glances he kept casting in Puck’s direction every time they were alone, it was probably for the best. It was safer, anyway, because the truth was Puck wasn’t sure how long he could pretend not to notice the way Kurt had been looking at him since his family went home.
Still, after two days of hearing what an awesome choreographer Travis was and how Kurt was grateful that he got to learn from him, and wow, he did this thing during rehearsal today that was totally amazing, every word delivered with the same little blush, Puck was pretty ready to be done with Travis Wall.
But he wasn’t jealous. Mostly he just wanted to talk about something - anything - besides Kurt’s hard-on for his choreographer.
Not that Kurt was willing to own up to his crush. Every time Puck so much as hinted that he might have a thing for Travis Kurt blushed even harder, then he launched into another lecture about Travis’ credentials, and every time it lasted a little longer. By the time the last one ended Puck was pretty sure his ears were never going to stop ringing, and he wasn’t really interested in hearing Travis’ name ever again.
He didn’t have much choice, though, because they were done for the day, and any second Kurt was going to walk through their door and start talking about Travis before Puck could say so much as ‘hi’. Puck sighed as the door opened and Kurt did walk in, but he wasn’t wearing his usual dopey grin and launching into a story about how Travis saved a bunch of orphans from a burning building and then hung the moon. Truth was he looked pretty freaked out, and Puck was halfway across the room before he even realized he was moving.
“What’s wrong?”
At the sound of his voice Kurt looked up, eyes wide like maybe he was surprised to find Puck there. Like that made any sense when Puck had beat him back to their room every night since Kurt found out Travis was his choreographer, and Puck was pretty sure it was because Kurt was hanging around after rehearsal to drool over the guy.
As soon as he saw the look on Kurt’s face Puck wondered if he’d been alone with Travis after practice. From what Puck knew about Travis he seemed like a stand-up guy, but that didn’t mean Kurt hadn’t accidentally gotten himself into something he couldn’t handle. The second he thought it Puck’s stomach turned, and he stopped himself just short of touching.
“Kurt? Seriously, did something happen at rehearsal?”
“He wants me to kiss her,” Kurt said, blushing hard at the sound of his own voice, and yeah, okay, that was better than Travis making a pass at him or something, but it still wasn’t what Puck was expecting.
“What?”
“At the end of our routine. He thinks it will make the story more powerful,” Kurt said, sinking onto the edge of his bed and covering his face with his hands.
“Oh.” Puck frowned and crossed to Kurt’s bed, hesitating for a second before he sat down next to Kurt. “But it’s just a kiss, right? I mean, it’s not like you have to make out with her.”
Kurt pulled his hands away from his face long enough to frown at Puck, and when Puck saw how red his face was he knew it was the wrong answer.
“Just a kiss on national television. Never mind that I have no clue what I’m doing.”
It wasn’t like Puck was so crazy about the idea of Kurt planting one on Tina. The thought made his stomach feel all tight and weird, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. Plenty of dancers had kissed during their performances; it didn’t mean anything, it was just that most of them had a little experience under their belt before they had to kiss their partner on live TV.
“Yeah, but you can practice that part too, right?”
Kurt turned a weird shade of green at the thought, then he put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. “We haven’t gotten that far. Tina doesn’t even know about it yet. I just…I’d hoped that my first kiss might actually mean something, and now...”
He wasn’t talking about how awesome Travis was anymore, but now that they were talking about Kurt giving up his first kiss to Tina, Puck kind of missed the hero worship routine. And yeah, the fact that Kurt was freaking out about his first kiss was exactly the reason Puck shouldn’t even be thinking about starting anything with him, but mostly when he thought about Kurt kissing Tina, Puck kind of wanted to punch something.
“Listen, Kurt,” he said, his arm sliding around Kurt’s shoulders, and he didn’t miss the way Kurt kind of tensed against him. “That whole first time thing…it can be kind of overrated, you know? I mean, it doesn’t have to be that big a deal.”
Kurt sniffed and looked away, but before Puck could get a decent look at him and see whether or not he was really crying, Kurt was shrugging out of his grip and standing up.
“You’re right,” he said, then he let out a weird, choked little laugh that made Puck want to pull him back down onto the bed and wrap his arms around him for real. “Not that I’d know or anything.”
He crossed the room to his suitcase, digging around inside while he mumbled something about taking a shower before dinner. And he still wasn’t looking at Puck, but even from halfway across the room Puck could see the flush on the back of his neck, and he knew Kurt was embarrassed. A second later he was gone, the bathroom door closing behind him, and Puck let out a heavy sigh and fell back on the mattress to stare at the ceiling and listen to the sound of the water running.
~
Kurt thought that admitting his painful virginity to Puck was the most humiliating moment of his life. Until Puck put his arm around Kurt and suggested that first times were overrated, Kurt assumed nothing could be more embarrassing than saying out loud that no one had ever touched him before.
Of course the joke was on Kurt, because it turned out having to fake enthusiasm while Travis explained the concept for his routine was nearly as humiliating, and telling Puck about it later was even worse. Maybe a little part of him had hoped that Puck would offer to help him practice the kiss, just so he wouldn’t completely humiliate himself in front of the entire viewing audience. And even that was humiliating, because at least part of him was willing to take a pity kiss from Puck in place of a real first kiss.
He didn’t want Puck’s pity. What he wanted…what he wanted he wasn’t going to get, and if he couldn’t have it he didn’t want to know what he was missing.
Travis didn’t bring up the kiss at rehearsal the next day, and Kurt knew it meant that he was letting Kurt decide whether or not to go through with it. And it would have been an easy decision if Kurt didn’t understand dance or Travis’ choreography. If he didn’t see Travis’ vision and know exactly how much stronger the routine would be if he just kissed Tina at the end the way Travis wanted him to, Kurt could say no.
But he knew the mood Travis was trying to convey, the story he was telling and the worst part was, Kurt could relate to it. He knew the song by heart; Travis had chosen a version by some band Kurt had never heard of, but he knew Beyonce’s entire catalog, and he’d sung along to “Sweet Dreams” more times than he could count.
He knew what the song was about, and he knew exactly how that kind of longing felt. He’d felt it every night since he met Puck, and for once Kurt was positive he could convey the emotions his choreographer was looking for.
The kiss at the end would make the entire piece stronger, and Kurt didn’t want to let Travis down just because he didn’t know what he was doing. That didn’t stop him from panicking every time he thought about it that he’d be terrible at it, that he’d go in for the kiss and somehow miss, or worse, break Tina’s nose.
Which was how he ended up knocking on Tina’s door that night after dinner instead of going back to his own room to face Puck. He wasn’t avoiding Puck, exactly, but he wasn’t about to ask for Puck’s help, and he had to ask someone, so his partner seemed like the most logical choice. Kurt took a deep breath and reached up, knocking on the door and then glancing down the hall to make sure no one was hanging around.
A few seconds later the door swung open, but instead of Tina on the other side of the door Kurt found himself staring back at Mercedes. He heard voices behind her, and when she stood aside to let him in Kurt spotted Tina, Rachel and Sunshine sitting cross-legged on one of the beds. His heart sank, but he pasted what he hoped was a convincing smile on his face and let Mercedes close the door behind him.
“Kurt,” Tina said, smiling and reaching out to pull him down on the mattress next to her. “I was just saying how amazing it is, working with Travis.”
“He’s great,” Kurt agreed, and he was, but Kurt wished he could enjoy working with Travis a little more.
“His choreography is so beautiful,” Tina added. “Wait until you guys see it. I think this is the best routine so far on the whole show.”
“Travis is an amazing choreographer,” Rachel said, “but the routine Mia choreographed for Noah and myself was phenomenal. Nigel said himself he’d be surprised if it didn’t get her another Emmy nomination.”
Kurt rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. The truth was Nigel spent a lot of time throwing around potential Emmy nominations that never came to fruition, and even if a choreographer’s routine was nominated, it didn’t do much for the dancers. Besides, Rachel and Puck’s routine really had been beautiful, and it didn’t really matter whether or not Travis’ was better.
“He wants us to kiss at the end,” Kurt said, the words escaping him before he even realized he was thinking them. As soon as he said them he blushed, turning away from Rachel to look at Tina.
She was staring at him, mouth open and eyes sort of wide, but as soon as their eyes met she blinked and forced a smile. “Really? He hasn’t said anything to me.”
“I think he’s waiting for me to decide if I’m comfortable with it,” Kurt said, blushing even harder, because he was pretty sure if it was Puck and Rachel dancing the routine, Travis wouldn’t even have asked before he put the kiss in.
“Oh. Well, if you don’t want to...”
“It’s not you,” Kurt said a little too quickly, then he forced himself to relax and give her a genuine smile. “It’s just...I haven’t really done that. With anyone.”
“Oh,” Tina said, blinking and glancing past him toward Mercedes. Kurt didn’t follow her gaze, because he didn’t really want to know what the rest of them thought of him. Mostly he just wanted to get this over with and then maybe go find a hole to hide in until the week was over.
“It’s no big deal, Kurt,” Mercedes said, sitting down next to him and putting an arm around his shoulders, and Kurt pushed the memory of Puck doing the same thing out of his mind. “Lots of people have never kissed anybody.”
When Kurt raised an eyebrow at her she had the grace to flush, then she shrugged and pulled her arm away from his shoulders. “Okay, so nobody here. That just means there are lots of candidates to practice on, right?”
“Mercedes makes a good point,” Rachel said, nodding and sort of bouncing on her knees as though maybe she was getting ready to volunteer. Kurt inched a little further away on the bed, his gaze darting toward the door before he turned back to them.
And okay, that was sort of the reason he’d come to Tina’s room, but he’d been expecting to find her alone. He hadn’t been planning on an entire entourage of girls willing to give him his first kiss.
“Guys, Kurt doesn’t want to practice with any of us,” Sunshine said, sort of pushing Rachel out of the way as she scooted a little closer to him. “Your first kiss should be special. You’d rather kiss a boy, right?”
Kurt blushed all over again, heat creeping down his chest and up his neck and he couldn’t quite stop himself from glancing at Rachel. The thought of her and Puck dancing this routine instead -- of standing backstage and watching them kiss at the end -- made his stomach roll, and he swallowed hard and nodded as he turned back to Sunshine.
“Obviously.”
“I bet Blaine would practice with you. He thinks you’re cute,” Sunshine said, and when Kurt looked up at her she was smiling in the way that made him think her parents had chosen the right name. “I could talk to him if you want.”
“Thank you, I...that...please don’t. But thank you,” he stammered, his face turning a little more red with every word, until he felt like his face was on fire.
Sunshine just shrugged as though talking to her dance partner about which of the male dancers he thought were cute was totally normal. And maybe it was, for some guys, but the thought had never even crossed Kurt’s mind. He talked to Tina about Puck sometimes, sure, but they were roommates, so it was only natural that he’d come up in conversation from time to time.
“Well, if you change your mind,” Sunshine said, and Kurt forced another smile without quite meeting her eyes and changed the subject.
~
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Kurt was avoiding him. Puck wasn’t even surprised; he knew Kurt was embarrassed about how inexperienced he was, and Puck knew he’d made it worse when Kurt told him about the kiss.
And that was the thing; Kurt told him stuff because he trusted Puck, and Puck kept fucking it up and making things weird between them again. So now Kurt wasn’t talking at all, at least not to him, and Puck wanted to be happy about it, because it meant there was less of a chance he’d lose it and just show Kurt how he felt. Except instead he mostly felt kind of...empty, like Kurt had taken Puck’s insides with him when he fucked off to hang out with the girls.
He knew that was where Kurt had spent last night, mostly because Rachel started talking about it the second he walked into rehearsal. She got as far as ‘Kurt and Tina seem to think their contemporary routine is going to be better than ours was’ before Tony started bitching at her to pay attention. And Puck was with him for once, because they were stuck doing the fucking samba, and their contemporary routine wasn’t going to help when they fucked up ballroom and landed in the bottom.
Which was exactly what was going to happen, because they sucked at the samba. Puck knew it and Tony knew it, and maybe Rachel was in denial or whatever, but once the judges told her how bad they sucked even she wouldn’t be able to pretend they were getting it.
He was trying to focus on keeping his toes pointed and extending his arms, getting the lifts right and not dropping Rachel on her ass. He tried to remember everything Tony told him and everything Kurt had taught him too, but every time he thought about the way Kurt had spent that whole afternoon at auditions teaching some dude he didn’t even know how to partner, Puck just felt guilty again for being such a fuck-up.
And now he was going to get sent home on something Kurt had tried really hard to make sure he could do, and Puck knew he wouldn’t get any more second chances after that. Nobody else was going to drop out and open up a spot for Puck to come back, and before long he’d just be a text message once a week telling Kurt to break a leg.
It sucked, and thinking about it just made his lines or whatever even weaker, so Puck shoved the thought to the back of his head and did his best to lift Rachel off the studio floor without breaking anything important. And he didn’t drop her, but it was a pretty close call, so Puck wasn’t surprised when Tony let out an exasperated noise and told them to take five. He was pretty sure Tony only wanted a break so he wouldn’t give in to the urge to kneecap either of them, and Puck couldn’t blame him for that either.
He sighed and followed Rachel to the other side of the studio, grabbing his water bottle and draining half of it while she babbled about their contemporary routine some more. When he came up for air he glanced over at her, frowning when he heard her say, “...personally I’ve always thought putting a kiss in a routine was a cheap gimmick.”
“He told you about that?” Puck asked, regretting it the second the words came out of his mouth, because as soon as he let her know he was actually listening, she was talking even faster.
“It’s not that I don’t feel for him. It has to be intimidating, thinking of your first kiss in front of a national audience. I was prepared to offer my services, purely for educational purposes, but Sunshine seemed to think he’d be more comfortable with a boy. She suggested Blaine, but really, I don’t see why it shouldn’t be me. I do have two gay dads, after all, and I’m sensitive to...”
“Hold up a second,” Puck said, hand over Rachel’s mouth to stop her from talking. “What does Blaine have to do with it?”
“Apparently he’s interested in Kurt,” Rachel answered when Puck pulled his hand away from her mouth. “That’s what Sunshine said. She offered to speak to him, but Kurt turned her down. Though if he’s really that worried about his first kiss happening on national television, I have to say, his options are rather limited. There’s only one more day before dress rehearsals.”
As soon as she said it Puck pictured it: Blaine’s stupid grin as he leaned in, and the way Kurt’s cheeks would go all pink as soon as he realized what was happening. He imagined the moment when Kurt relaxed into the kiss, when he reached up to let his fingers run through Blaine’s stupid, perfect hair. Puck felt his hands curl into fists, and he wasn’t that guy anymore, so he wasn’t going to break Blaine’s jaw or anything, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to.
“But Kurt said no, right?”
Rachel frowned at him, but before she said whatever she was thinking Tony was calling them over again. And Puck never thought he’d be grateful for the samba, but he was pretty sure he’d rather deal with Tony than anything else Rachel had to say about Kurt and Blaine.
~
For once Kurt beat Puck back to their room after rehearsal, a fact he attributed to practically sprinting out of the studio as soon as Travis dismissed them. He wanted to avoid another conversation with Travis about the kiss, but he also wanted to avoid more meaningful glances from Tina and hints about who he might want to ‘practice’ with.
At first he was horrified to think that she might be hoping he’d choose her, but it didn’t take long to figure out that she and most of the rest of the girls were on Team Blaine. Kurt was fairly sure it was because Team Blaine was the only viable option they could see, at least on short notice. And maybe they were right, but that didn’t stop Kurt from wishing he had another option.
The real problem was that he didn’t want to practice kissing. Maybe Puck was right and his first kiss wasn’t a big deal, but it felt like it. It felt important, and he didn’t want it to happen with just anyone.
He didn’t want it to happen at all, not like this. When Kurt thought about his first kiss it had always involved hand-holding and good lighting that flattered his complexion, the swell of violins in the background and a perfect, faceless boy who knew exactly what he was doing and didn’t mind that Kurt didn’t. The boy in his fantasy wasn’t faceless anymore, but the rest of it hadn’t really changed, and the thought of giving that up, even to keep him in the competition, made his stomach twist into a tight ball of dread.
He took a deep breath and let himself into their room, glancing in the direction of Puck’s bed as he tried to decide whether to wait for Puck or change his clothes and try to make it to dinner before Puck got back. Before he could decide he realized he wasn’t alone, and Kurt blinked a few times at the sight of Brittany sitting on the edge of his bed.
“Brittany? What…how did you get in here?”
“I can help you with your problem,” she said, and when he realized what she meant his whole face flushed. “I’ve had lots of practice.”
“Oh my God,” Kurt breathed, his hand slipping off the door to let it close behind him. “How did you hear about this?”
As soon as he said the words Kurt remembered who her partner was, and instantly he pictured Puck telling Mike all about Kurt’s ‘problem’. Laughing at his utter cluelessness, maybe, and Kurt blushed all the way to the roots of his hair at the thought.
Instead of answering Brittany stood up, crossing the room to stop in front of him and Kurt’s heart stopped when he realized what she was doing. He took a step backwards just as the door opened, and before he could stop himself Kurt was colliding with a solid chest.
Puck’s hands landed on his shoulders to steady him, warm and solid and Kurt leaned back into them for a second before he caught himself. As soon as he did he straightened up and took a step forward, but that just brought him face to face with Brittany again.
“What’s going on?” Puck asked, glancing between Kurt and Brittany and frowning as though he thought maybe he’d interrupted something. Which, okay, technically he had, but it certainly wasn’t an unwelcome interruption.
“It’s okay,” Brittany said, “I want to help. I’m good at it; everybody says so.”
Kurt really didn’t want to know how many people Brittany had been kissing to lead her to that conclusion. He didn’t even care how she’d gotten into their room; he just wanted her to go away, and preferably take Puck with her so Kurt could die of humiliation in peace.
“Thank you, Brittany, but that really won’t be necessary,” Kurt said, inching toward the door only to find himself met with Puck’s chest again. He turned and glared until Puck took the hint and got out of the way, then he pulled the door open and looked at her again.
“Did you find someone else to practice with already?” she asked, and she almost sounded…disappointed. Which was weird all on its own, but Kurt wasn’t going to think about it.
“I…not exactly,” Kurt said, not quite looking at Puck as he reached for Brittany’s arm and tugged her toward the door. Once he got her into the hallway she turned to look at him again, then she glanced past him, and Kurt blushed when he realized Puck was still standing right behind him. “I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”
He shut the door in her face before she could answer, then he pressed his forehead against the little sign on the back mapping out the nearest fire exits. And it was probably unsanitary, but the second he turned around he was going to have to face Puck, and Kurt wasn’t sure he could handle any more humiliation in a lifetime, let alone one day.
“Did she just offer to make out with you?”
Kurt blushed even harder and pushed himself off the door, turning to scowl in Puck’s direction. “Thanks to you, I’m sure.”
“Me? What’d I do?” Puck asked, and Kurt wasn’t exactly looking, but he thought he could hear something like hurt in Puck’s voice.
“Did you or did you not tell Mike about my pathetic lack of experience?” Kurt snapped, his whole face burning, and he was not going to cry and make it even worse.
“Dude, I didn’t say anything,” Puck said, and now he definitely sounded hurt. “Come on, Kurt, do you really think I’d do that?”
“Well how else would she have heard about it?” Kurt asked, but some of the anger drained out of him at the look on Puck’s face, and he crossed his arms over his chest and looked away. “Mike’s her partner; if she was going to hear about it from anyone, it would be him, wouldn’t it?”
“Seriously? She could have heard it from anybody. You told Rachel, and she’s got the biggest mouth I’ve ever heard. Hell, she told me about it today during rehearsal. Said Sunshine was trying to pimp you out to Blaine or something.”
And he’d thought this entire mess couldn’t get any more embarrassing, but obviously he’d been wrong. It was his own fault, of course, for telling Tina and the others that he’d never been kissed. If he’d just kept his mouth shut and kissed Tina on the day of the performance none of this would be happening, but now not only did Puck know exactly how pathetic he was, apparently all the other dancers did too.
“Kurt, come on. You’re not pathetic,” Puck said, and when Kurt felt a hand on his shoulder again he flinched. Puck pulled his hand away as though Kurt had burned him, but Kurt told himself it didn’t matter. He was pathetic, and now everyone knew it, so it didn’t matter what Puck thought.
“I have to change,” was all he said, crossing the room and grabbing the first clothes he laid his hands on before he locked himself in the bathroom and hoped Puck would be gone by the time he came out.
~
Puck could take a hint. One of the things about growing up in New York was that it meant he’d learned a long time ago how to read people, so he knew when someone was blowing him off. And Kurt was definitely trying to blow him off; that much was obvious by the way he barricaded himself in the bathroom. He couldn’t stay in there forever, though, and another thing living in the city had taught Puck was how to wait.
He’d been picturing Kurt kissing Blaine for most of the afternoon, trying not to picture it even more, and by the time he headed back to their room he was so on edge that he wasn’t sure what he would have done if he’d run into Blaine. Walking into their room to find Brittany coming onto Kurt…well, it bothered him probably more than it should have.
It wasn’t like he was worried that Kurt was interested in Brittany, but the thought of him kissing someone else - anyone else - still made Puck want to hit something, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it. It made him want to grab Kurt and drag him into the nearest room and show him exactly how good his first kiss could be. He wanted to leave Kurt wanting him so much he’d never even look at another guy, and even if it meant taking the chance that it wouldn’t work out, he still had to do it.
When the bathroom door finally opened Puck was sitting on the end of Kurt’s bed, and when Kurt spotted him and went even paler than usual, Puck knew he’d been hoping Puck would take off while he had the chance. And maybe he should have, but if he did there was a chance Blaine would show up instead of Brittany next time, and that was a chance Puck wasn’t willing to take.
“I thought you’d be at dinner already,” Kurt said, and the thing was, he was pretty cute when he blushed like that.
“Yeah, I figured.” He waited until Kurt finished fussing with his suitcase before he stood up, taking a few steps forward and then pausing when Kurt looked up. “So listen, what did you mean before when you said ‘not exactly’?”
“What?” Kurt said, nose kind of scrunched up like when he was concentrating really hard on a dance step he didn’t get, and that was pretty cute too.
“Before, when Brittany asked if you found somebody else to practice with and you said ‘not exactly’. You’re not really thinking about hooking up with Blaine, are you?”
He shrugged and kind of stuck his chin out like he was expecting an argument, and Puck’s stomach tied itself into a hard knot. “I considered it. At least he expressed some interest; that’s more than anyone else has ever done.”
And yeah, okay, so maybe Puck kind of deserved that. He’d been so busy trying to trying to protect himself that he hadn’t stopped to think about how all the mixed signals might be making Kurt feel, but obviously it wasn’t making him feel great.
“Kurt, come on. Just because most of Ohio can’t see how awesome you are doesn’t mean nobody can.”
“I’m not,” Kurt said, voice so soft that at first Puck wasn’t sure he’d really heard it. But Kurt was blushing again and looking at the floor between them, and Puck wanted to kick the ass of whoever it was that ever made Kurt doubt how great he was.
He took a chance and took a few steps forward, and when he reached out and took Kurt’s hand he didn’t flinch this time. He was looking at Puck like maybe he was a little worried Puck was going to hit him or something, but he didn’t put up a fight when Puck pulled him forward until they were barely a foot apart.
Puck reached up and curved his free hand around the back of Kurt’s neck, thumb tracing little patterns on his skin and he felt the shiver that Kurt tried to hold back. “Yeah, you are.”
Kurt started to shake his head, but when his mouth brushed Puck’s palm he let out a little gasp and looked up again. “What are you...?”
“I was wrong, you know,” Puck interrupted, because seriously, if Kurt couldn’t figure out what he was doing, he needed more help than Puck thought. “It should mean something.”
He leaned in, taking in flushed cheeks and blue eyes that were just a little darker than usual. He could feel Kurt’s breath against his lips, felt Kurt trembling but kind of leaning in at the same time, like maybe he was afraid Puck was going to change his mind.
“I’m not totally off base here, right?” Puck asked, pausing to breathe the words against Kurt’s mouth.
And he was pretty sure he wasn’t, but he didn’t want to make things worse by taking something Kurt wasn’t ready to give up. When he heard a frustrated sound and felt Kurt’s hand close around the front of his shirt to haul him forward Puck had his answer, and he grinned against Kurt’s mouth and slid his hand into Kurt’s hair to tilt his head just so.
Kurt’s fingers curled in the front of Puck’s shirt, holding on like maybe he was expecting Puck to put the brakes on before he was ready. Like there was any chance of that happening when Kurt was pressed against him, strong and solid and so much better than Puck even imagined. And yeah, they’d danced together often enough that he knew what to expect, but there was a big difference between teaching Kurt to krump and teaching him to kiss, breathing the same air and holding hands like maybe this did mean something.
Like maybe they meant something, and now that Puck had kissed him, he really wanted to believe they did. He pulled away just far enough to look at Kurt, foreheads pressed together and his hand still resting on the back of Kurt’s neck, fingers in his hair and listening to Kurt breathing hard.
“Okay?” he said, and when Kurt nodded and pressed forward Puck let him, turning into the kiss and parting his lips to give Kurt whatever he wanted. He figured they should probably take it slow, considering, but right now he just wanted to keep kissing Kurt and forget about everything and everyone else outside their door.
Kurt wasn’t some magically great kisser right out of the gate or anything, but he was pretty good at following Puck’s lead, and he wasn’t freaking out or changing his mind yet. The hand that had been clutching Puck’s shirt in some kind of death grip slid down his chest, stopping at his waist to rest there, like Kurt wasn’t sure he should be touching.
It was tempting to wrap his arms around Kurt and drag him over to the bed, to push him down onto the mattress and show him exactly how good Puck could make him feel. But that definitely didn’t count as taking it slow, and Puck wasn’t about to fuck this up by pushing for more than Kurt wanted to give. So he kept his hands above the waist, and when Kurt drug him even closer he swallowed a moan and didn’t rock their hips together.
When they came up for air again Kurt kept his eyes on Puck’s chest, like maybe he was kind of embarrassed to look at him. “Please tell me you’re not just doing this because of the performance tomorrow.”
“I’m not,” Puck said, his heart beating way too loud when he realized that at least part of Kurt actually thought that. “Kurt. I’m not.”
Kurt looked up at him then, and Puck slid a hand under his chin and brushed another soft kiss against his lips. When he pulled back Kurt smiled, kind of shy and Puck ran a thumb along one flushed cheek before he let out a little laugh.
“I mean, yeah, the timing pretty much blows, because we suck at the samba, so I’m gonna be in the bottom three this week, and I’m probably going home.”
For a second Kurt looked so miserable that Puck wished he hadn’t brought it up, but then he kind of squared his jaw and squeezed Puck’s hand. “I’ll help you. After dinner we can run through the technique again. It can’t be that bad; you’ve done fine in ballroom so far.”
It was pretty bad, but Puck wasn’t going to pass up the chance to dance with Kurt again, so he didn’t say so. Instead he said, “Yeah, okay,” then he leaned in for one last kiss before he dragged Kurt out of the room and downstairs to dinner.
~
The last place Kurt wanted to be was in the dining room with the rest of the dancers. Where he wanted to be was back in their room, pressed up against Puck and breathing against him, feeling the drag of Puck’s stubble against his cheek and the warmth of his hand on the back of his neck.
He imagined those hands on other parts of him and blushed bright and hot, and when he felt a hand on his thigh under the table he knew Puck had noticed. Kurt didn’t know what they were doing, but Puck had promised him it wasn’t just a pity kiss, and the hand resting on his leg was a pretty good sign. At least he thought it was; he was still pretty much clueless, but he wanted to believe it meant Puck felt something at least close to what Kurt was feeling.
Puck was talking to Mike, comparing notes on whether or not ballroom was worse with Tony and Melanie or Pasha as their choreographer, but when Kurt reached under the table to cover Puck’s hand with his own Puck’s fingers slid through his. His thumb traced little patterns on the back of Kurt’s hand while Mike talked, and it was distracting in a way that Kurt could definitely get used to.
It felt sort of strange, holding hands with Puck while the rest of the cast was still oblivious to the change in their relationship. But he sort of liked having a secret, too, something just between the two of them that they didn’t have to share with anyone else.
When Puck’s grip on his hand tightened Kurt blinked and looked up, his face flushing when he realized he had no idea how long he’d been staring into space, replaying their first kiss over and over in his head. It was a nice memory, but Kurt knew if he didn’t get a grip that he’d end up daydreaming himself right back to Ohio.
“You ready to head out?” Puck asked, and when Kurt blushed a little harder and nodded, Puck grinned and let go of his hand.
“You guys can come hang out in our room if you want,” Mike said, watching them push their chairs back from the table and pick up their trays.
For a second Kurt thought Puck might actually agree, just to save face, but when he glanced over Puck was already shaking his head. “Thanks, dude, but Kurt promised to help me with my samba.”
“Must be nice, having your own private instructor,” Mike said, but he was grinning, and Kurt felt his blush heat up even more.
“Yeah, Kurt’s awesome.”
Puck grinned right back at Mike, raising his eyebrows when Mike laughed, then he slid an arm around Kurt’s shoulders and dragged him away from the table.
They ditched their trays before they headed back upstairs, neither of them looking back to see if anyone was watching them go. Puck kept his arm around Kurt until they reached the elevators, letting go long enough to press the button. It felt like forever before the doors finally slid open, but when they climbed in and leaned against the back wall Puck’s hand found Kurt’s to slide their fingers together again.
He didn’t let go until they made it all the way back to their room, and then it was only long enough to slide his key card into the door before he was reaching for Kurt to pull him into the room. As soon as the door closed Kurt found himself pressed up against it, Puck’s chest warm against his and his hands on Kurt’s hips to hold him against the door.
Kurt’s arms slid around Puck’s neck when he leaned in, lips parted on a sigh and kissing Puck back as though his life depended on it. And he still didn’t know what he was doing, but Puck didn’t seem to mind, so Kurt was determined not to worry about it. Not yet, not while Puck’s hands were on him and he was murmuring Kurt’s name against his mouth as though maybe he’d been a little afraid he was never going to get a chance to do this.
Kurt wanted to laugh, because Puck had to know that all he’d ever had to do was ask and Kurt would have given him anything. He’d tried to hide how he felt, but it had been hopeless from the start and they both knew it.
“Noah,” Kurt whispered into the kiss, and he wasn’t even sure he’d said it out loud until Puck pulled back to look at him.
“Say that again.”
“Noah,” Kurt said, his hand on Puck’s face and tracing the sharp angle of his cheekbone.
Puck sucked in a harsh breath, then his hands left Kurt’s hips and he took a step backwards. “Yeah, we gotta take a breather here.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
As soon as the words escaped his mouth he wanted to take them back, but Puck just shook his head and reached for Kurt’s hand to pull him away from the door. “No, babe, but I’m afraid I’m going to if we don’t stop.”
When he realized what Puck was saying Kurt’s face flushed all over again, and when he realized Puck had just called him ‘babe’ Kurt blushed harder than ever. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Puck said again, hand on the back of his neck and just looking, like maybe he was thinking about some of the things he’d like to do. Kurt’s heart hammered in his chest, and just when he was starting to wonder if maybe Puck was going to do some of them anyway, he cleared his throat and turned away.
“Come on, help me move the bed so we can practice.”
Kurt nodded even though Puck wasn’t looking at him, mostly because he didn’t trust his voice not to betray just how much at least part of him wanted to find out what exactly Puck was thinking. He followed Puck across the room to his bed, not looking at Puck while they took the mattress off the frame and propped it against the wall. Once the bed was out of the way Kurt turned on his iPod, scrolling through playlists until he found something with the right beat for a samba.
When he turned around again Puck was watching him, eyes dark and the sight of him sent a thrill of want down Kurt’s spine that he had no idea what to do with. He swallowed hard and took a few steps forward, stopping when he reached the center of the space they’d cleared.
“I suppose I’ll have to dance Rachel’s part again. Why don’t you lead me through the routine once and we’ll go from there.”
Puck nodded, rubbing the palms of his hands on his thighs before he moved forward and reached for Kurt. “It starts with Rachel kind of hanging out on the stairs, so we’ll have to take it from a few steps in.”
Kurt nodded and took Puck’s hand, letting Puck lead him into the turns until he picked up the rhythm of the choreography. Once he had the basic idea it was easier to follow Puck, to anticipate each spin and the moment when Puck caught him and dipped him.
He lifted himself back up and rested a hand on Puck’s neck the way his own partner did every time he danced a ballroom routine, their foreheads touching for a moment and Puck’s eyes went dark again. “Damn, babe, you’re so much hotter than Rachel.”
Kurt flushed and let Puck spin him out of the dip, fumbling a couple steps before he found his rhythm again. When their eyes met again Puck was smirking at him, and Kurt rolled his eyes and let Puck spin him away, then draw Kurt back against his chest again. They stayed that way for a beat, then another, and Kurt was about to ask if he’d forgotten what came next when Puck leaned forward and kissed him.
For a second Kurt was too startled to respond, but as soon as he realized what was happening he pulled Puck closer and kissed him back. Puck’s hands were on his back, pushing up under his shirt just a little, and the touch of warm hands on bare skin made him feel like he was on fire.
“I assume that’s not part of the routine,” Kurt murmured when Puck’s mouth left his to trail along his jaw, then down his neck and back up again.
“I’m improvising,” Puck answered, and when Kurt let out a breathy laugh he felt Puck’s answering smile against his skin.
Kurt’s hands landed on the sides of his face, pulling Puck back to look at him. “Your samba isn’t that terrible. I don’t think you’ll necessarily be in the bottom three.”
“It’s better when I’m dancing with you,” Puck said, his hand coming up to cover Kurt’s where it was pressed against his skin. “Think they’d let us change partners?”
“Nigel would never stand for two men doing the samba,” Kurt answered, smiling when Puck laughed. “He’s far too insecure in his own masculinity. We’d be lucky to get a paso doble or maybe a hip hop routine at the end of the season.”
“If I make it that far.”
Kurt sighed and leaned in to kiss Puck again, lingering for a moment before he pulled back to look at him. “There’s no guarantee either of us will.”
“I keep telling you, you’re going all the way,” Puck said, and when Kurt saw Puck’s determined expression, he could almost believe it.
~
When they finished working on Puck’s samba technique he made Kurt help him put his bed back together again. Kurt didn’t seem all that happy about it, but considering the number of times they got distracted in the middle of dancing by a kiss or even a hand sliding just a little lower than strictly necessary, Puck figured it was safer if he slept in his own bed.
But the thing was, he’d kind of gotten used to sharing with Kurt, to the steady sound of his breathing and the way Puck could feel him there in the darkness, even though they never really touched.
Well. There was that whole deal with the hand-holding the last time they shared his bed, when he’d almost given in and kissed Kurt for the first time. It was all he could do to resist back then, and that was exactly the reason Puck figured they should go to their own corners, at least until Kurt figured out exactly what he wanted.
He thought Kurt got that - he didn’t like it much, but Puck was pretty sure he understood - until Puck woke up in the middle of the night to the feeling of the mattress dipping under him, then Kurt was sliding under the sheet and pressing himself up against Puck’s side. His hand landed on Puck’s chest, sort of tentative, like maybe he was afraid to touch. Like maybe he was afraid Puck was going to wake up and send him back to his own bed, and as soon as he thought it Puck reached up and closed his hand over Kurt’s.
Puck turned until they were face to face, hands trapped between them as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. He took his time kissing Kurt, sucking Kurt’s full bottom lip between his teeth and sliding their tongues together until Kurt was making these little whining noises that went straight to Puck’s cock. And he wanted to do something about it - knew Kurt would let him if he tried - but they still hadn’t figured anything out, and for once in his life Puck wanted to do this right.
When Kurt pressed even closer Puck pulled away with a gasp, closing his eyes until he was sure he could look at Kurt without losing it completely. He felt a hand on his neck, sort of stroking over his scalp, and when he opened his eyes again Kurt was watching him with a kind of awed expression, like he was still trying to convince himself this was real.
“Would you believe I couldn’t sleep?” Kurt asked when their eyes met, and Puck let out a soft laugh and squeezed the hand that was still wrapped around his.
“Here’s the thing,” he said, watching Kurt’s expression shift from awed and kind of amused and straight into nervous. “I have a kid.”
“I’m aware,” Kurt said, but Puck could hear the fear in his voice.
“Yeah, well, Ma’s always on me about how I have to put Beth first, how she’s my priority now and I can’t just screw around anymore. And she’s right.” He paused, thumb tracing little circles on the back of Kurt’s hand while he tried to find the best way to say what he was thinking. “I’m not trying to lay a bunch of pressure on you here, but if we’re just fooling around I kind of need to know.”
“Are you asking me for a commitment?”
Kurt sounded kind of nervous, or maybe surprised, but the thing was, he didn’t sound like he hated the idea. And Puck wanted to say yes, that he wanted Kurt to guarantee that he wasn’t going to change his mind, because Puck was already in over his head and he knew if things went any farther that he might as well just box up his heart and hand it over.
“No. I mean yeah, I guess I kind of am. I’m not asking you to say you’ll marry me or anything,” Puck added, his heart skipping a beat at the thought, because the thing was, they could get married, at least in New York, and if Kurt said he wanted to get married, Puck wouldn’t even have to think about it. “I’m just saying that you should know that’s where I’m coming from. This isn’t just because we share a room or because you have to kiss Tina tomorrow. At least not for me.”
“It’s not for me either,” Kurt said, his voice sort of soft, like maybe he was afraid to say it out loud. “This isn’t…I hope it’s not some showmance that will be over when one of us gets sent home.”
“Yeah?” Puck said, and when Kurt blushed and nodded against the pillow Puck let go of his hand to curve his palm around Kurt’s cheek. “Good.”
He kissed Kurt again, soft and slow and thorough enough to leave Kurt breathing kind of heavy when Puck pulled back again. “So you’re cool if we take things slow? I just…I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“Okay,” Kurt said, breathing in deep like there was at least part of him that wasn’t crazy about that plan, but he nodded anyway. “If that’s what you want.”
What he wanted didn’t have a whole lot to do with it, but Puck didn’t say so. Instead he slid his arms around Kurt’s shoulders and pulled him close, holding on tight and burying his face in Kurt’s neck to breathe in deep. Kurt’s hand stroked down his scalp, and when he turned into Puck and brushed a kiss against his cheek, Puck wasn’t sure how well this whole ‘going slow’ plan was going to work out.
Week Seven: Top Fourteen Results
Fandom: Glee/So You Think You Can Dance
Pairing: Puck/Kurt
Rating: PG
Word count: 8630
Warnings: Cheesiness. Lack of dance knowledge. Random Cat Deeley fangirling.
Summary: AU. Kurt's a classically trained dancer who has trouble connecting to his audience. Puck's a novice b-boy with loads of charisma and not a whole lot else. When they meet at the New York auditions for So You Think You Can Dance, both their lives change in more ways than they anticipated.
A/N: I am under the wire, as usual, and didn't have that much time for a thorough going-over of this installment. Feel free to point out any glaring errors.
Week Seven: Top Fourteen Perform
Puck wasn’t jealous.
He wasn’t; just because Kurt hadn’t shut up about Travis Wall since he found out Travis was Kurt’s choreographer this week, it didn’t mean anything. Puck already knew Kurt had a thing for Travis, just like he knew Kurt was probably going to get a chance to work with him eventually, so he’d sort of been bracing himself for a week of Travis’ Greatest Hits.
In a way he was sort of grateful for the timing, because things were kind of weird between them after Kurt’s family went home. So if landing Travis as his choreographer distracted Kurt from the sidelong glances he kept casting in Puck’s direction every time they were alone, it was probably for the best. It was safer, anyway, because the truth was Puck wasn’t sure how long he could pretend not to notice the way Kurt had been looking at him since his family went home.
Still, after two days of hearing what an awesome choreographer Travis was and how Kurt was grateful that he got to learn from him, and wow, he did this thing during rehearsal today that was totally amazing, every word delivered with the same little blush, Puck was pretty ready to be done with Travis Wall.
But he wasn’t jealous. Mostly he just wanted to talk about something - anything - besides Kurt’s hard-on for his choreographer.
Not that Kurt was willing to own up to his crush. Every time Puck so much as hinted that he might have a thing for Travis Kurt blushed even harder, then he launched into another lecture about Travis’ credentials, and every time it lasted a little longer. By the time the last one ended Puck was pretty sure his ears were never going to stop ringing, and he wasn’t really interested in hearing Travis’ name ever again.
He didn’t have much choice, though, because they were done for the day, and any second Kurt was going to walk through their door and start talking about Travis before Puck could say so much as ‘hi’. Puck sighed as the door opened and Kurt did walk in, but he wasn’t wearing his usual dopey grin and launching into a story about how Travis saved a bunch of orphans from a burning building and then hung the moon. Truth was he looked pretty freaked out, and Puck was halfway across the room before he even realized he was moving.
“What’s wrong?”
At the sound of his voice Kurt looked up, eyes wide like maybe he was surprised to find Puck there. Like that made any sense when Puck had beat him back to their room every night since Kurt found out Travis was his choreographer, and Puck was pretty sure it was because Kurt was hanging around after rehearsal to drool over the guy.
As soon as he saw the look on Kurt’s face Puck wondered if he’d been alone with Travis after practice. From what Puck knew about Travis he seemed like a stand-up guy, but that didn’t mean Kurt hadn’t accidentally gotten himself into something he couldn’t handle. The second he thought it Puck’s stomach turned, and he stopped himself just short of touching.
“Kurt? Seriously, did something happen at rehearsal?”
“He wants me to kiss her,” Kurt said, blushing hard at the sound of his own voice, and yeah, okay, that was better than Travis making a pass at him or something, but it still wasn’t what Puck was expecting.
“What?”
“At the end of our routine. He thinks it will make the story more powerful,” Kurt said, sinking onto the edge of his bed and covering his face with his hands.
“Oh.” Puck frowned and crossed to Kurt’s bed, hesitating for a second before he sat down next to Kurt. “But it’s just a kiss, right? I mean, it’s not like you have to make out with her.”
Kurt pulled his hands away from his face long enough to frown at Puck, and when Puck saw how red his face was he knew it was the wrong answer.
“Just a kiss on national television. Never mind that I have no clue what I’m doing.”
It wasn’t like Puck was so crazy about the idea of Kurt planting one on Tina. The thought made his stomach feel all tight and weird, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it. Plenty of dancers had kissed during their performances; it didn’t mean anything, it was just that most of them had a little experience under their belt before they had to kiss their partner on live TV.
“Yeah, but you can practice that part too, right?”
Kurt turned a weird shade of green at the thought, then he put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. “We haven’t gotten that far. Tina doesn’t even know about it yet. I just…I’d hoped that my first kiss might actually mean something, and now...”
He wasn’t talking about how awesome Travis was anymore, but now that they were talking about Kurt giving up his first kiss to Tina, Puck kind of missed the hero worship routine. And yeah, the fact that Kurt was freaking out about his first kiss was exactly the reason Puck shouldn’t even be thinking about starting anything with him, but mostly when he thought about Kurt kissing Tina, Puck kind of wanted to punch something.
“Listen, Kurt,” he said, his arm sliding around Kurt’s shoulders, and he didn’t miss the way Kurt kind of tensed against him. “That whole first time thing…it can be kind of overrated, you know? I mean, it doesn’t have to be that big a deal.”
Kurt sniffed and looked away, but before Puck could get a decent look at him and see whether or not he was really crying, Kurt was shrugging out of his grip and standing up.
“You’re right,” he said, then he let out a weird, choked little laugh that made Puck want to pull him back down onto the bed and wrap his arms around him for real. “Not that I’d know or anything.”
He crossed the room to his suitcase, digging around inside while he mumbled something about taking a shower before dinner. And he still wasn’t looking at Puck, but even from halfway across the room Puck could see the flush on the back of his neck, and he knew Kurt was embarrassed. A second later he was gone, the bathroom door closing behind him, and Puck let out a heavy sigh and fell back on the mattress to stare at the ceiling and listen to the sound of the water running.
~
Kurt thought that admitting his painful virginity to Puck was the most humiliating moment of his life. Until Puck put his arm around Kurt and suggested that first times were overrated, Kurt assumed nothing could be more embarrassing than saying out loud that no one had ever touched him before.
Of course the joke was on Kurt, because it turned out having to fake enthusiasm while Travis explained the concept for his routine was nearly as humiliating, and telling Puck about it later was even worse. Maybe a little part of him had hoped that Puck would offer to help him practice the kiss, just so he wouldn’t completely humiliate himself in front of the entire viewing audience. And even that was humiliating, because at least part of him was willing to take a pity kiss from Puck in place of a real first kiss.
He didn’t want Puck’s pity. What he wanted…what he wanted he wasn’t going to get, and if he couldn’t have it he didn’t want to know what he was missing.
Travis didn’t bring up the kiss at rehearsal the next day, and Kurt knew it meant that he was letting Kurt decide whether or not to go through with it. And it would have been an easy decision if Kurt didn’t understand dance or Travis’ choreography. If he didn’t see Travis’ vision and know exactly how much stronger the routine would be if he just kissed Tina at the end the way Travis wanted him to, Kurt could say no.
But he knew the mood Travis was trying to convey, the story he was telling and the worst part was, Kurt could relate to it. He knew the song by heart; Travis had chosen a version by some band Kurt had never heard of, but he knew Beyonce’s entire catalog, and he’d sung along to “Sweet Dreams” more times than he could count.
He knew what the song was about, and he knew exactly how that kind of longing felt. He’d felt it every night since he met Puck, and for once Kurt was positive he could convey the emotions his choreographer was looking for.
The kiss at the end would make the entire piece stronger, and Kurt didn’t want to let Travis down just because he didn’t know what he was doing. That didn’t stop him from panicking every time he thought about it that he’d be terrible at it, that he’d go in for the kiss and somehow miss, or worse, break Tina’s nose.
Which was how he ended up knocking on Tina’s door that night after dinner instead of going back to his own room to face Puck. He wasn’t avoiding Puck, exactly, but he wasn’t about to ask for Puck’s help, and he had to ask someone, so his partner seemed like the most logical choice. Kurt took a deep breath and reached up, knocking on the door and then glancing down the hall to make sure no one was hanging around.
A few seconds later the door swung open, but instead of Tina on the other side of the door Kurt found himself staring back at Mercedes. He heard voices behind her, and when she stood aside to let him in Kurt spotted Tina, Rachel and Sunshine sitting cross-legged on one of the beds. His heart sank, but he pasted what he hoped was a convincing smile on his face and let Mercedes close the door behind him.
“Kurt,” Tina said, smiling and reaching out to pull him down on the mattress next to her. “I was just saying how amazing it is, working with Travis.”
“He’s great,” Kurt agreed, and he was, but Kurt wished he could enjoy working with Travis a little more.
“His choreography is so beautiful,” Tina added. “Wait until you guys see it. I think this is the best routine so far on the whole show.”
“Travis is an amazing choreographer,” Rachel said, “but the routine Mia choreographed for Noah and myself was phenomenal. Nigel said himself he’d be surprised if it didn’t get her another Emmy nomination.”
Kurt rolled his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. The truth was Nigel spent a lot of time throwing around potential Emmy nominations that never came to fruition, and even if a choreographer’s routine was nominated, it didn’t do much for the dancers. Besides, Rachel and Puck’s routine really had been beautiful, and it didn’t really matter whether or not Travis’ was better.
“He wants us to kiss at the end,” Kurt said, the words escaping him before he even realized he was thinking them. As soon as he said them he blushed, turning away from Rachel to look at Tina.
She was staring at him, mouth open and eyes sort of wide, but as soon as their eyes met she blinked and forced a smile. “Really? He hasn’t said anything to me.”
“I think he’s waiting for me to decide if I’m comfortable with it,” Kurt said, blushing even harder, because he was pretty sure if it was Puck and Rachel dancing the routine, Travis wouldn’t even have asked before he put the kiss in.
“Oh. Well, if you don’t want to...”
“It’s not you,” Kurt said a little too quickly, then he forced himself to relax and give her a genuine smile. “It’s just...I haven’t really done that. With anyone.”
“Oh,” Tina said, blinking and glancing past him toward Mercedes. Kurt didn’t follow her gaze, because he didn’t really want to know what the rest of them thought of him. Mostly he just wanted to get this over with and then maybe go find a hole to hide in until the week was over.
“It’s no big deal, Kurt,” Mercedes said, sitting down next to him and putting an arm around his shoulders, and Kurt pushed the memory of Puck doing the same thing out of his mind. “Lots of people have never kissed anybody.”
When Kurt raised an eyebrow at her she had the grace to flush, then she shrugged and pulled her arm away from his shoulders. “Okay, so nobody here. That just means there are lots of candidates to practice on, right?”
“Mercedes makes a good point,” Rachel said, nodding and sort of bouncing on her knees as though maybe she was getting ready to volunteer. Kurt inched a little further away on the bed, his gaze darting toward the door before he turned back to them.
And okay, that was sort of the reason he’d come to Tina’s room, but he’d been expecting to find her alone. He hadn’t been planning on an entire entourage of girls willing to give him his first kiss.
“Guys, Kurt doesn’t want to practice with any of us,” Sunshine said, sort of pushing Rachel out of the way as she scooted a little closer to him. “Your first kiss should be special. You’d rather kiss a boy, right?”
Kurt blushed all over again, heat creeping down his chest and up his neck and he couldn’t quite stop himself from glancing at Rachel. The thought of her and Puck dancing this routine instead -- of standing backstage and watching them kiss at the end -- made his stomach roll, and he swallowed hard and nodded as he turned back to Sunshine.
“Obviously.”
“I bet Blaine would practice with you. He thinks you’re cute,” Sunshine said, and when Kurt looked up at her she was smiling in the way that made him think her parents had chosen the right name. “I could talk to him if you want.”
“Thank you, I...that...please don’t. But thank you,” he stammered, his face turning a little more red with every word, until he felt like his face was on fire.
Sunshine just shrugged as though talking to her dance partner about which of the male dancers he thought were cute was totally normal. And maybe it was, for some guys, but the thought had never even crossed Kurt’s mind. He talked to Tina about Puck sometimes, sure, but they were roommates, so it was only natural that he’d come up in conversation from time to time.
“Well, if you change your mind,” Sunshine said, and Kurt forced another smile without quite meeting her eyes and changed the subject.
~
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Kurt was avoiding him. Puck wasn’t even surprised; he knew Kurt was embarrassed about how inexperienced he was, and Puck knew he’d made it worse when Kurt told him about the kiss.
And that was the thing; Kurt told him stuff because he trusted Puck, and Puck kept fucking it up and making things weird between them again. So now Kurt wasn’t talking at all, at least not to him, and Puck wanted to be happy about it, because it meant there was less of a chance he’d lose it and just show Kurt how he felt. Except instead he mostly felt kind of...empty, like Kurt had taken Puck’s insides with him when he fucked off to hang out with the girls.
He knew that was where Kurt had spent last night, mostly because Rachel started talking about it the second he walked into rehearsal. She got as far as ‘Kurt and Tina seem to think their contemporary routine is going to be better than ours was’ before Tony started bitching at her to pay attention. And Puck was with him for once, because they were stuck doing the fucking samba, and their contemporary routine wasn’t going to help when they fucked up ballroom and landed in the bottom.
Which was exactly what was going to happen, because they sucked at the samba. Puck knew it and Tony knew it, and maybe Rachel was in denial or whatever, but once the judges told her how bad they sucked even she wouldn’t be able to pretend they were getting it.
He was trying to focus on keeping his toes pointed and extending his arms, getting the lifts right and not dropping Rachel on her ass. He tried to remember everything Tony told him and everything Kurt had taught him too, but every time he thought about the way Kurt had spent that whole afternoon at auditions teaching some dude he didn’t even know how to partner, Puck just felt guilty again for being such a fuck-up.
And now he was going to get sent home on something Kurt had tried really hard to make sure he could do, and Puck knew he wouldn’t get any more second chances after that. Nobody else was going to drop out and open up a spot for Puck to come back, and before long he’d just be a text message once a week telling Kurt to break a leg.
It sucked, and thinking about it just made his lines or whatever even weaker, so Puck shoved the thought to the back of his head and did his best to lift Rachel off the studio floor without breaking anything important. And he didn’t drop her, but it was a pretty close call, so Puck wasn’t surprised when Tony let out an exasperated noise and told them to take five. He was pretty sure Tony only wanted a break so he wouldn’t give in to the urge to kneecap either of them, and Puck couldn’t blame him for that either.
He sighed and followed Rachel to the other side of the studio, grabbing his water bottle and draining half of it while she babbled about their contemporary routine some more. When he came up for air he glanced over at her, frowning when he heard her say, “...personally I’ve always thought putting a kiss in a routine was a cheap gimmick.”
“He told you about that?” Puck asked, regretting it the second the words came out of his mouth, because as soon as he let her know he was actually listening, she was talking even faster.
“It’s not that I don’t feel for him. It has to be intimidating, thinking of your first kiss in front of a national audience. I was prepared to offer my services, purely for educational purposes, but Sunshine seemed to think he’d be more comfortable with a boy. She suggested Blaine, but really, I don’t see why it shouldn’t be me. I do have two gay dads, after all, and I’m sensitive to...”
“Hold up a second,” Puck said, hand over Rachel’s mouth to stop her from talking. “What does Blaine have to do with it?”
“Apparently he’s interested in Kurt,” Rachel answered when Puck pulled his hand away from her mouth. “That’s what Sunshine said. She offered to speak to him, but Kurt turned her down. Though if he’s really that worried about his first kiss happening on national television, I have to say, his options are rather limited. There’s only one more day before dress rehearsals.”
As soon as she said it Puck pictured it: Blaine’s stupid grin as he leaned in, and the way Kurt’s cheeks would go all pink as soon as he realized what was happening. He imagined the moment when Kurt relaxed into the kiss, when he reached up to let his fingers run through Blaine’s stupid, perfect hair. Puck felt his hands curl into fists, and he wasn’t that guy anymore, so he wasn’t going to break Blaine’s jaw or anything, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to.
“But Kurt said no, right?”
Rachel frowned at him, but before she said whatever she was thinking Tony was calling them over again. And Puck never thought he’d be grateful for the samba, but he was pretty sure he’d rather deal with Tony than anything else Rachel had to say about Kurt and Blaine.
~
For once Kurt beat Puck back to their room after rehearsal, a fact he attributed to practically sprinting out of the studio as soon as Travis dismissed them. He wanted to avoid another conversation with Travis about the kiss, but he also wanted to avoid more meaningful glances from Tina and hints about who he might want to ‘practice’ with.
At first he was horrified to think that she might be hoping he’d choose her, but it didn’t take long to figure out that she and most of the rest of the girls were on Team Blaine. Kurt was fairly sure it was because Team Blaine was the only viable option they could see, at least on short notice. And maybe they were right, but that didn’t stop Kurt from wishing he had another option.
The real problem was that he didn’t want to practice kissing. Maybe Puck was right and his first kiss wasn’t a big deal, but it felt like it. It felt important, and he didn’t want it to happen with just anyone.
He didn’t want it to happen at all, not like this. When Kurt thought about his first kiss it had always involved hand-holding and good lighting that flattered his complexion, the swell of violins in the background and a perfect, faceless boy who knew exactly what he was doing and didn’t mind that Kurt didn’t. The boy in his fantasy wasn’t faceless anymore, but the rest of it hadn’t really changed, and the thought of giving that up, even to keep him in the competition, made his stomach twist into a tight ball of dread.
He took a deep breath and let himself into their room, glancing in the direction of Puck’s bed as he tried to decide whether to wait for Puck or change his clothes and try to make it to dinner before Puck got back. Before he could decide he realized he wasn’t alone, and Kurt blinked a few times at the sight of Brittany sitting on the edge of his bed.
“Brittany? What…how did you get in here?”
“I can help you with your problem,” she said, and when he realized what she meant his whole face flushed. “I’ve had lots of practice.”
“Oh my God,” Kurt breathed, his hand slipping off the door to let it close behind him. “How did you hear about this?”
As soon as he said the words Kurt remembered who her partner was, and instantly he pictured Puck telling Mike all about Kurt’s ‘problem’. Laughing at his utter cluelessness, maybe, and Kurt blushed all the way to the roots of his hair at the thought.
Instead of answering Brittany stood up, crossing the room to stop in front of him and Kurt’s heart stopped when he realized what she was doing. He took a step backwards just as the door opened, and before he could stop himself Kurt was colliding with a solid chest.
Puck’s hands landed on his shoulders to steady him, warm and solid and Kurt leaned back into them for a second before he caught himself. As soon as he did he straightened up and took a step forward, but that just brought him face to face with Brittany again.
“What’s going on?” Puck asked, glancing between Kurt and Brittany and frowning as though he thought maybe he’d interrupted something. Which, okay, technically he had, but it certainly wasn’t an unwelcome interruption.
“It’s okay,” Brittany said, “I want to help. I’m good at it; everybody says so.”
Kurt really didn’t want to know how many people Brittany had been kissing to lead her to that conclusion. He didn’t even care how she’d gotten into their room; he just wanted her to go away, and preferably take Puck with her so Kurt could die of humiliation in peace.
“Thank you, Brittany, but that really won’t be necessary,” Kurt said, inching toward the door only to find himself met with Puck’s chest again. He turned and glared until Puck took the hint and got out of the way, then he pulled the door open and looked at her again.
“Did you find someone else to practice with already?” she asked, and she almost sounded…disappointed. Which was weird all on its own, but Kurt wasn’t going to think about it.
“I…not exactly,” Kurt said, not quite looking at Puck as he reached for Brittany’s arm and tugged her toward the door. Once he got her into the hallway she turned to look at him again, then she glanced past him, and Kurt blushed when he realized Puck was still standing right behind him. “I’ll see you at dinner, okay?”
He shut the door in her face before she could answer, then he pressed his forehead against the little sign on the back mapping out the nearest fire exits. And it was probably unsanitary, but the second he turned around he was going to have to face Puck, and Kurt wasn’t sure he could handle any more humiliation in a lifetime, let alone one day.
“Did she just offer to make out with you?”
Kurt blushed even harder and pushed himself off the door, turning to scowl in Puck’s direction. “Thanks to you, I’m sure.”
“Me? What’d I do?” Puck asked, and Kurt wasn’t exactly looking, but he thought he could hear something like hurt in Puck’s voice.
“Did you or did you not tell Mike about my pathetic lack of experience?” Kurt snapped, his whole face burning, and he was not going to cry and make it even worse.
“Dude, I didn’t say anything,” Puck said, and now he definitely sounded hurt. “Come on, Kurt, do you really think I’d do that?”
“Well how else would she have heard about it?” Kurt asked, but some of the anger drained out of him at the look on Puck’s face, and he crossed his arms over his chest and looked away. “Mike’s her partner; if she was going to hear about it from anyone, it would be him, wouldn’t it?”
“Seriously? She could have heard it from anybody. You told Rachel, and she’s got the biggest mouth I’ve ever heard. Hell, she told me about it today during rehearsal. Said Sunshine was trying to pimp you out to Blaine or something.”
And he’d thought this entire mess couldn’t get any more embarrassing, but obviously he’d been wrong. It was his own fault, of course, for telling Tina and the others that he’d never been kissed. If he’d just kept his mouth shut and kissed Tina on the day of the performance none of this would be happening, but now not only did Puck know exactly how pathetic he was, apparently all the other dancers did too.
“Kurt, come on. You’re not pathetic,” Puck said, and when Kurt felt a hand on his shoulder again he flinched. Puck pulled his hand away as though Kurt had burned him, but Kurt told himself it didn’t matter. He was pathetic, and now everyone knew it, so it didn’t matter what Puck thought.
“I have to change,” was all he said, crossing the room and grabbing the first clothes he laid his hands on before he locked himself in the bathroom and hoped Puck would be gone by the time he came out.
~
Puck could take a hint. One of the things about growing up in New York was that it meant he’d learned a long time ago how to read people, so he knew when someone was blowing him off. And Kurt was definitely trying to blow him off; that much was obvious by the way he barricaded himself in the bathroom. He couldn’t stay in there forever, though, and another thing living in the city had taught Puck was how to wait.
He’d been picturing Kurt kissing Blaine for most of the afternoon, trying not to picture it even more, and by the time he headed back to their room he was so on edge that he wasn’t sure what he would have done if he’d run into Blaine. Walking into their room to find Brittany coming onto Kurt…well, it bothered him probably more than it should have.
It wasn’t like he was worried that Kurt was interested in Brittany, but the thought of him kissing someone else - anyone else - still made Puck want to hit something, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it. It made him want to grab Kurt and drag him into the nearest room and show him exactly how good his first kiss could be. He wanted to leave Kurt wanting him so much he’d never even look at another guy, and even if it meant taking the chance that it wouldn’t work out, he still had to do it.
When the bathroom door finally opened Puck was sitting on the end of Kurt’s bed, and when Kurt spotted him and went even paler than usual, Puck knew he’d been hoping Puck would take off while he had the chance. And maybe he should have, but if he did there was a chance Blaine would show up instead of Brittany next time, and that was a chance Puck wasn’t willing to take.
“I thought you’d be at dinner already,” Kurt said, and the thing was, he was pretty cute when he blushed like that.
“Yeah, I figured.” He waited until Kurt finished fussing with his suitcase before he stood up, taking a few steps forward and then pausing when Kurt looked up. “So listen, what did you mean before when you said ‘not exactly’?”
“What?” Kurt said, nose kind of scrunched up like when he was concentrating really hard on a dance step he didn’t get, and that was pretty cute too.
“Before, when Brittany asked if you found somebody else to practice with and you said ‘not exactly’. You’re not really thinking about hooking up with Blaine, are you?”
He shrugged and kind of stuck his chin out like he was expecting an argument, and Puck’s stomach tied itself into a hard knot. “I considered it. At least he expressed some interest; that’s more than anyone else has ever done.”
And yeah, okay, so maybe Puck kind of deserved that. He’d been so busy trying to trying to protect himself that he hadn’t stopped to think about how all the mixed signals might be making Kurt feel, but obviously it wasn’t making him feel great.
“Kurt, come on. Just because most of Ohio can’t see how awesome you are doesn’t mean nobody can.”
“I’m not,” Kurt said, voice so soft that at first Puck wasn’t sure he’d really heard it. But Kurt was blushing again and looking at the floor between them, and Puck wanted to kick the ass of whoever it was that ever made Kurt doubt how great he was.
He took a chance and took a few steps forward, and when he reached out and took Kurt’s hand he didn’t flinch this time. He was looking at Puck like maybe he was a little worried Puck was going to hit him or something, but he didn’t put up a fight when Puck pulled him forward until they were barely a foot apart.
Puck reached up and curved his free hand around the back of Kurt’s neck, thumb tracing little patterns on his skin and he felt the shiver that Kurt tried to hold back. “Yeah, you are.”
Kurt started to shake his head, but when his mouth brushed Puck’s palm he let out a little gasp and looked up again. “What are you...?”
“I was wrong, you know,” Puck interrupted, because seriously, if Kurt couldn’t figure out what he was doing, he needed more help than Puck thought. “It should mean something.”
He leaned in, taking in flushed cheeks and blue eyes that were just a little darker than usual. He could feel Kurt’s breath against his lips, felt Kurt trembling but kind of leaning in at the same time, like maybe he was afraid Puck was going to change his mind.
“I’m not totally off base here, right?” Puck asked, pausing to breathe the words against Kurt’s mouth.
And he was pretty sure he wasn’t, but he didn’t want to make things worse by taking something Kurt wasn’t ready to give up. When he heard a frustrated sound and felt Kurt’s hand close around the front of his shirt to haul him forward Puck had his answer, and he grinned against Kurt’s mouth and slid his hand into Kurt’s hair to tilt his head just so.
Kurt’s fingers curled in the front of Puck’s shirt, holding on like maybe he was expecting Puck to put the brakes on before he was ready. Like there was any chance of that happening when Kurt was pressed against him, strong and solid and so much better than Puck even imagined. And yeah, they’d danced together often enough that he knew what to expect, but there was a big difference between teaching Kurt to krump and teaching him to kiss, breathing the same air and holding hands like maybe this did mean something.
Like maybe they meant something, and now that Puck had kissed him, he really wanted to believe they did. He pulled away just far enough to look at Kurt, foreheads pressed together and his hand still resting on the back of Kurt’s neck, fingers in his hair and listening to Kurt breathing hard.
“Okay?” he said, and when Kurt nodded and pressed forward Puck let him, turning into the kiss and parting his lips to give Kurt whatever he wanted. He figured they should probably take it slow, considering, but right now he just wanted to keep kissing Kurt and forget about everything and everyone else outside their door.
Kurt wasn’t some magically great kisser right out of the gate or anything, but he was pretty good at following Puck’s lead, and he wasn’t freaking out or changing his mind yet. The hand that had been clutching Puck’s shirt in some kind of death grip slid down his chest, stopping at his waist to rest there, like Kurt wasn’t sure he should be touching.
It was tempting to wrap his arms around Kurt and drag him over to the bed, to push him down onto the mattress and show him exactly how good Puck could make him feel. But that definitely didn’t count as taking it slow, and Puck wasn’t about to fuck this up by pushing for more than Kurt wanted to give. So he kept his hands above the waist, and when Kurt drug him even closer he swallowed a moan and didn’t rock their hips together.
When they came up for air again Kurt kept his eyes on Puck’s chest, like maybe he was kind of embarrassed to look at him. “Please tell me you’re not just doing this because of the performance tomorrow.”
“I’m not,” Puck said, his heart beating way too loud when he realized that at least part of Kurt actually thought that. “Kurt. I’m not.”
Kurt looked up at him then, and Puck slid a hand under his chin and brushed another soft kiss against his lips. When he pulled back Kurt smiled, kind of shy and Puck ran a thumb along one flushed cheek before he let out a little laugh.
“I mean, yeah, the timing pretty much blows, because we suck at the samba, so I’m gonna be in the bottom three this week, and I’m probably going home.”
For a second Kurt looked so miserable that Puck wished he hadn’t brought it up, but then he kind of squared his jaw and squeezed Puck’s hand. “I’ll help you. After dinner we can run through the technique again. It can’t be that bad; you’ve done fine in ballroom so far.”
It was pretty bad, but Puck wasn’t going to pass up the chance to dance with Kurt again, so he didn’t say so. Instead he said, “Yeah, okay,” then he leaned in for one last kiss before he dragged Kurt out of the room and downstairs to dinner.
~
The last place Kurt wanted to be was in the dining room with the rest of the dancers. Where he wanted to be was back in their room, pressed up against Puck and breathing against him, feeling the drag of Puck’s stubble against his cheek and the warmth of his hand on the back of his neck.
He imagined those hands on other parts of him and blushed bright and hot, and when he felt a hand on his thigh under the table he knew Puck had noticed. Kurt didn’t know what they were doing, but Puck had promised him it wasn’t just a pity kiss, and the hand resting on his leg was a pretty good sign. At least he thought it was; he was still pretty much clueless, but he wanted to believe it meant Puck felt something at least close to what Kurt was feeling.
Puck was talking to Mike, comparing notes on whether or not ballroom was worse with Tony and Melanie or Pasha as their choreographer, but when Kurt reached under the table to cover Puck’s hand with his own Puck’s fingers slid through his. His thumb traced little patterns on the back of Kurt’s hand while Mike talked, and it was distracting in a way that Kurt could definitely get used to.
It felt sort of strange, holding hands with Puck while the rest of the cast was still oblivious to the change in their relationship. But he sort of liked having a secret, too, something just between the two of them that they didn’t have to share with anyone else.
When Puck’s grip on his hand tightened Kurt blinked and looked up, his face flushing when he realized he had no idea how long he’d been staring into space, replaying their first kiss over and over in his head. It was a nice memory, but Kurt knew if he didn’t get a grip that he’d end up daydreaming himself right back to Ohio.
“You ready to head out?” Puck asked, and when Kurt blushed a little harder and nodded, Puck grinned and let go of his hand.
“You guys can come hang out in our room if you want,” Mike said, watching them push their chairs back from the table and pick up their trays.
For a second Kurt thought Puck might actually agree, just to save face, but when he glanced over Puck was already shaking his head. “Thanks, dude, but Kurt promised to help me with my samba.”
“Must be nice, having your own private instructor,” Mike said, but he was grinning, and Kurt felt his blush heat up even more.
“Yeah, Kurt’s awesome.”
Puck grinned right back at Mike, raising his eyebrows when Mike laughed, then he slid an arm around Kurt’s shoulders and dragged him away from the table.
They ditched their trays before they headed back upstairs, neither of them looking back to see if anyone was watching them go. Puck kept his arm around Kurt until they reached the elevators, letting go long enough to press the button. It felt like forever before the doors finally slid open, but when they climbed in and leaned against the back wall Puck’s hand found Kurt’s to slide their fingers together again.
He didn’t let go until they made it all the way back to their room, and then it was only long enough to slide his key card into the door before he was reaching for Kurt to pull him into the room. As soon as the door closed Kurt found himself pressed up against it, Puck’s chest warm against his and his hands on Kurt’s hips to hold him against the door.
Kurt’s arms slid around Puck’s neck when he leaned in, lips parted on a sigh and kissing Puck back as though his life depended on it. And he still didn’t know what he was doing, but Puck didn’t seem to mind, so Kurt was determined not to worry about it. Not yet, not while Puck’s hands were on him and he was murmuring Kurt’s name against his mouth as though maybe he’d been a little afraid he was never going to get a chance to do this.
Kurt wanted to laugh, because Puck had to know that all he’d ever had to do was ask and Kurt would have given him anything. He’d tried to hide how he felt, but it had been hopeless from the start and they both knew it.
“Noah,” Kurt whispered into the kiss, and he wasn’t even sure he’d said it out loud until Puck pulled back to look at him.
“Say that again.”
“Noah,” Kurt said, his hand on Puck’s face and tracing the sharp angle of his cheekbone.
Puck sucked in a harsh breath, then his hands left Kurt’s hips and he took a step backwards. “Yeah, we gotta take a breather here.”
“Did I do something wrong?”
As soon as the words escaped his mouth he wanted to take them back, but Puck just shook his head and reached for Kurt’s hand to pull him away from the door. “No, babe, but I’m afraid I’m going to if we don’t stop.”
When he realized what Puck was saying Kurt’s face flushed all over again, and when he realized Puck had just called him ‘babe’ Kurt blushed harder than ever. “Oh.”
“Yeah,” Puck said again, hand on the back of his neck and just looking, like maybe he was thinking about some of the things he’d like to do. Kurt’s heart hammered in his chest, and just when he was starting to wonder if maybe Puck was going to do some of them anyway, he cleared his throat and turned away.
“Come on, help me move the bed so we can practice.”
Kurt nodded even though Puck wasn’t looking at him, mostly because he didn’t trust his voice not to betray just how much at least part of him wanted to find out what exactly Puck was thinking. He followed Puck across the room to his bed, not looking at Puck while they took the mattress off the frame and propped it against the wall. Once the bed was out of the way Kurt turned on his iPod, scrolling through playlists until he found something with the right beat for a samba.
When he turned around again Puck was watching him, eyes dark and the sight of him sent a thrill of want down Kurt’s spine that he had no idea what to do with. He swallowed hard and took a few steps forward, stopping when he reached the center of the space they’d cleared.
“I suppose I’ll have to dance Rachel’s part again. Why don’t you lead me through the routine once and we’ll go from there.”
Puck nodded, rubbing the palms of his hands on his thighs before he moved forward and reached for Kurt. “It starts with Rachel kind of hanging out on the stairs, so we’ll have to take it from a few steps in.”
Kurt nodded and took Puck’s hand, letting Puck lead him into the turns until he picked up the rhythm of the choreography. Once he had the basic idea it was easier to follow Puck, to anticipate each spin and the moment when Puck caught him and dipped him.
He lifted himself back up and rested a hand on Puck’s neck the way his own partner did every time he danced a ballroom routine, their foreheads touching for a moment and Puck’s eyes went dark again. “Damn, babe, you’re so much hotter than Rachel.”
Kurt flushed and let Puck spin him out of the dip, fumbling a couple steps before he found his rhythm again. When their eyes met again Puck was smirking at him, and Kurt rolled his eyes and let Puck spin him away, then draw Kurt back against his chest again. They stayed that way for a beat, then another, and Kurt was about to ask if he’d forgotten what came next when Puck leaned forward and kissed him.
For a second Kurt was too startled to respond, but as soon as he realized what was happening he pulled Puck closer and kissed him back. Puck’s hands were on his back, pushing up under his shirt just a little, and the touch of warm hands on bare skin made him feel like he was on fire.
“I assume that’s not part of the routine,” Kurt murmured when Puck’s mouth left his to trail along his jaw, then down his neck and back up again.
“I’m improvising,” Puck answered, and when Kurt let out a breathy laugh he felt Puck’s answering smile against his skin.
Kurt’s hands landed on the sides of his face, pulling Puck back to look at him. “Your samba isn’t that terrible. I don’t think you’ll necessarily be in the bottom three.”
“It’s better when I’m dancing with you,” Puck said, his hand coming up to cover Kurt’s where it was pressed against his skin. “Think they’d let us change partners?”
“Nigel would never stand for two men doing the samba,” Kurt answered, smiling when Puck laughed. “He’s far too insecure in his own masculinity. We’d be lucky to get a paso doble or maybe a hip hop routine at the end of the season.”
“If I make it that far.”
Kurt sighed and leaned in to kiss Puck again, lingering for a moment before he pulled back to look at him. “There’s no guarantee either of us will.”
“I keep telling you, you’re going all the way,” Puck said, and when Kurt saw Puck’s determined expression, he could almost believe it.
~
When they finished working on Puck’s samba technique he made Kurt help him put his bed back together again. Kurt didn’t seem all that happy about it, but considering the number of times they got distracted in the middle of dancing by a kiss or even a hand sliding just a little lower than strictly necessary, Puck figured it was safer if he slept in his own bed.
But the thing was, he’d kind of gotten used to sharing with Kurt, to the steady sound of his breathing and the way Puck could feel him there in the darkness, even though they never really touched.
Well. There was that whole deal with the hand-holding the last time they shared his bed, when he’d almost given in and kissed Kurt for the first time. It was all he could do to resist back then, and that was exactly the reason Puck figured they should go to their own corners, at least until Kurt figured out exactly what he wanted.
He thought Kurt got that - he didn’t like it much, but Puck was pretty sure he understood - until Puck woke up in the middle of the night to the feeling of the mattress dipping under him, then Kurt was sliding under the sheet and pressing himself up against Puck’s side. His hand landed on Puck’s chest, sort of tentative, like maybe he was afraid to touch. Like maybe he was afraid Puck was going to wake up and send him back to his own bed, and as soon as he thought it Puck reached up and closed his hand over Kurt’s.
Puck turned until they were face to face, hands trapped between them as he leaned forward and pressed their lips together. He took his time kissing Kurt, sucking Kurt’s full bottom lip between his teeth and sliding their tongues together until Kurt was making these little whining noises that went straight to Puck’s cock. And he wanted to do something about it - knew Kurt would let him if he tried - but they still hadn’t figured anything out, and for once in his life Puck wanted to do this right.
When Kurt pressed even closer Puck pulled away with a gasp, closing his eyes until he was sure he could look at Kurt without losing it completely. He felt a hand on his neck, sort of stroking over his scalp, and when he opened his eyes again Kurt was watching him with a kind of awed expression, like he was still trying to convince himself this was real.
“Would you believe I couldn’t sleep?” Kurt asked when their eyes met, and Puck let out a soft laugh and squeezed the hand that was still wrapped around his.
“Here’s the thing,” he said, watching Kurt’s expression shift from awed and kind of amused and straight into nervous. “I have a kid.”
“I’m aware,” Kurt said, but Puck could hear the fear in his voice.
“Yeah, well, Ma’s always on me about how I have to put Beth first, how she’s my priority now and I can’t just screw around anymore. And she’s right.” He paused, thumb tracing little circles on the back of Kurt’s hand while he tried to find the best way to say what he was thinking. “I’m not trying to lay a bunch of pressure on you here, but if we’re just fooling around I kind of need to know.”
“Are you asking me for a commitment?”
Kurt sounded kind of nervous, or maybe surprised, but the thing was, he didn’t sound like he hated the idea. And Puck wanted to say yes, that he wanted Kurt to guarantee that he wasn’t going to change his mind, because Puck was already in over his head and he knew if things went any farther that he might as well just box up his heart and hand it over.
“No. I mean yeah, I guess I kind of am. I’m not asking you to say you’ll marry me or anything,” Puck added, his heart skipping a beat at the thought, because the thing was, they could get married, at least in New York, and if Kurt said he wanted to get married, Puck wouldn’t even have to think about it. “I’m just saying that you should know that’s where I’m coming from. This isn’t just because we share a room or because you have to kiss Tina tomorrow. At least not for me.”
“It’s not for me either,” Kurt said, his voice sort of soft, like maybe he was afraid to say it out loud. “This isn’t…I hope it’s not some showmance that will be over when one of us gets sent home.”
“Yeah?” Puck said, and when Kurt blushed and nodded against the pillow Puck let go of his hand to curve his palm around Kurt’s cheek. “Good.”
He kissed Kurt again, soft and slow and thorough enough to leave Kurt breathing kind of heavy when Puck pulled back again. “So you’re cool if we take things slow? I just…I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“Okay,” Kurt said, breathing in deep like there was at least part of him that wasn’t crazy about that plan, but he nodded anyway. “If that’s what you want.”
What he wanted didn’t have a whole lot to do with it, but Puck didn’t say so. Instead he slid his arms around Kurt’s shoulders and pulled him close, holding on tight and burying his face in Kurt’s neck to breathe in deep. Kurt’s hand stroked down his scalp, and when he turned into Puck and brushed a kiss against his cheek, Puck wasn’t sure how well this whole ‘going slow’ plan was going to work out.
Week Seven: Top Fourteen Results