Fic: At Moments After (Brotherhood II, Harlan/Marcus, PG)
You know what's funny? On the IMDb listing for Brotherhood II, Harlan and Marcus' last names are both listed as 'Ratcliff'. Of course I know because I've seen the movie at least ten times that Marcus' last name is actually Ratner (which is curious in itself if you're a fan of Fast Times At Ridgemont High and the original Mark Ratner), but it's kind of funny that IMDb implies that Harlan and Marcus are married related.
Okay, maybe that's just me.
Anyway, more fic. This is short and transitional, but necessary to move the 'plot' along. Considering that the plot up to now has basically been sex, one wouldn't think there would be much to move along. I do have a master plan, I'm just hoping it'll make sense when it's all said and done. But for now, part ten (I believe) of the Harlan/Marcus series. PG, 1702 words. Follows Reckless Magic.
The engine vibrates under them all the way back to campus, and by the time Harlan pulls into the parking lot Marcus is half-hard just from the ride. There's a part of him that wants to tell Harlan to keep driving, to get back on the road and go until they're back at his house, away from school and their friends and everyone who knows them. He wants to go back to the beginning, to start all over again because he remembers every detail, but he knows it's going to start fading as soon as he gets out of the car.
He wasn't expecting to spend Sunday night too - he thought Harlan would take him back to school on Sunday, spent half the day waiting for the other boy to pick up his keys and tell Marcus it had been fun, but it was time to go. Only Harlan never said anything, and when he started pulling Marcus' clothes off again right after dinner Marcus got the feeling he wasn't going anywhere for awhile.
Not that he was complaining, because the longer he stayed at Harlan's the less time he had to worry about what happened when he got back to school. Only it had to end sometime, and he reaches up to tug the collar of his uniform shirt a little higher. He's not sure what happens now, if he and Harlan are going to go back to pretending they hate each other, or even if they do still hate each other. He's not sure how he feels anymore, but he knows as soon as he gets out of the car that's all he's going to think about.
He reaches for the door handle, half expecting Harlan to pull him back in for one last kiss. When it doesn't happen he tells himself he's not disappointed - he's not, because they're sitting in the parking lot where anyone could see them and he's not sure that he wants the whole school to know. But he has a feeling it won't take long for word to spread, because he's climbing out of Harlan's car wearing the same hopelessly wrinkled uniform he wore on Friday, and there are enough people walking by to guarantee someone's going to notice.
Once he's out of the car he pauses, glancing around and he's not looking for Matt, but he can't help being a little self-conscious about climbing out of Harlan's car in front of the whole world. Like he belongs here. But in a weird way it feels like he does, and when he looks over at Harlan the other boy's grinning at him like he knows exactly what Marcus is thinking.
"Meet me at the trailhead after classes," Harlan says, gaze wandering down Marcus' frame and making him even more self-conscious. "Unless you're not up for it."
"I'm up for it," Marcus answers, although he's not sure even he believes that. Still, Harlan wants to see him again, and he's more relieved about that than he expected to be.
"Good."
One last grin and Harlan's walking away, backpack slung over one shoulder and it takes a few seconds for Marcus to realize he's staring. When he does he shakes his head and looks down, digging in his pockets until he finds his cigarettes. He lights one before he looks up again, pushing his hair out of his eyes and exhaling a cloud of smoke.
By the time he makes it halfway across campus he's a little more relaxed, less worried about who saw him getting out of Harlan's car and what's going to happen when it gets back to Matt. He's not even sure why he's so worried, because they don't hang out that much anymore and chances are Matt didn't even miss him. He tells himself he believes that as he drops his cigarette on the sidewalk, grinding it out with his heel before he looks up and finds himself staring back at Matt.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"Nowhere," Marcus answers, doing his best to hold back a wince because it's pretty obvious they both know that's a lie.
"Give me a break, man, you dropped off the face of the earth for like three days."
Matt's watching him suspiciously, arms crossed over his chest and when his gaze strays to Marcus' neck Marcus finds himself reaching up to tug uselessly at his collar.
"Oh Jesus," Matt says, something like disgust in his voice and Marcus knows his collar's not going to hide the evidence Harlan left behind. "It's true, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Troy said he saw you getting out of Ratcliff's car this morning. I thought he was high or something, but…Jesus, Marcus. You and Harlan?"
He opens his mouth to deny it, to tell Matt he's wrong and Troy must have been high to think that. But the evidence is all over him, and he's going to spend the next week getting up an hour earlier than he has to just to avoid running into the other guys in the shower. There's no way he's going to convince Matt it's all some misunderstanding, and even if he does manage to get Matt to believe a lie, it's not that big a campus and the truth has a way of coming out.
So he takes a deep breath and braces himself, forcing the truth out before he has time to change his mind. "He's not that bad once you get to know him."
For a second Matt looks a little sick, gaze still fixed on Marcus' neck and Marcus knows he's probably picturing Marcus and Harlan together. This isn't the way he wanted Matt to find out; he didn't really want him to find out at all, but if he has to know Marcus wishes Matt could have heard it from him first. At least the part where it turns out his best friend is gay, because he has a feeling there's no good way to break the news to Matt about him and Harlan.
"Not that bad? Are you kidding me?"
"Look," Marcus says, and he wants another cigarette but his fingers are trembling and he's not sure he could light it. "Maybe I should have told you I like guys, but I wasn't even sure until…"
He trails off when Matt gets that look again, the one that tells Marcus he's picturing something he never wanted to think about. And at least now Marcus knows where he stands with Matt - he tells himself it's better this way, because he doesn't want to hang out with a guy who's disgusted by him. "If you can't handle it just say so."
"Fuck you, Marcus. If you wanna date a guy I don't care. Go out with Reed, he'd probably be interested. But not Harlan."
That's not what he was expecting; he expected Matt to take the out, to walk away and pretend he and Marcus had never been friends. He definitely didn't expect his so-called best friend to try to set him up with another guy. "What difference does it make to you?"
"Dude, did you forget the fact that his two best friends are dead because of us? Alex…"
"Don’t," Marcus says, looking around to make sure nobody's listening before he drops his voice and turns back to Matt. "That wasn't us, right? It was all Luc."
"You can keep telling yourself that, but we both know the truth."
It's the closest they've come to talking about what happened since Luc disappeared. There have been a lot of times Marcus wanted to bring it up, just so he could make sure he hadn't dreamed the whole thing. But he'd never pictured hashing it out in the middle of the quad where anybody could hear them, and he's grateful when the bell rings to let them know they're late for their first class, because it means there's less of a chance of someone overhearing them.
He knows Matt's right - he's told himself the same thing a million times - but it's really easy to forget that when he's with Harlan. Besides, he tried to tell Harlan the truth once, way back before any of this started, and Harlan didn't believe him. Nobody would; it's a crazy story, one of those things that sounds like the plot of a bad movie, and sometimes even Marcus has a hard time believing he really killed someone.
He's not even sure it would matter if Harlan did believe him, because as far as Marcus knows they're just sleeping together. It's just convenience, and if it wasn't him Harlan would find somebody else. And it's not like he's in love with the guy, but he likes Harlan enough to want to hold on to what they've got. He's not sure how to tell Matt any of that, though, and he has a feeling Matt doesn't want to hear it.
"Look…"
"Relax," Matt says, shaking his head and looking away like he can't even stand to look at Marcus. "I'm not going to tell your boyfriend your dirty little secret. Just don't expect me to hang around and pretend everything's cool."
Matt's walking away before he even finishes his sentence, and Marcus has to stop himself from following. There's a part of him that wants to go after Matt, to tell him he's right and Harlan's not worth throwing away their friendship. Because Matt knows everything about him, and that means that at least Marcus knows where he stands. With Harlan he doesn't know anything, and he's spent the past few weeks feeling completely off balance most of the time.
But there's a part of him that likes that feeling, and that part is what stops him from going after Matt. He's not sure how long this thing with Harlan will last - a few more days, maybe a few weeks until Harlan gets bored - but he wants whatever he can get. And he knows that's pathetic, that he should have enough self-respect to either find out what they're doing or tell Harlan to go to hell, but he knows he's not going to. He doesn't even want to, and there's no way he could ever make Matt understand why.
Okay, maybe that's just me.
Anyway, more fic. This is short and transitional, but necessary to move the 'plot' along. Considering that the plot up to now has basically been sex, one wouldn't think there would be much to move along. I do have a master plan, I'm just hoping it'll make sense when it's all said and done. But for now, part ten (I believe) of the Harlan/Marcus series. PG, 1702 words. Follows Reckless Magic.
The engine vibrates under them all the way back to campus, and by the time Harlan pulls into the parking lot Marcus is half-hard just from the ride. There's a part of him that wants to tell Harlan to keep driving, to get back on the road and go until they're back at his house, away from school and their friends and everyone who knows them. He wants to go back to the beginning, to start all over again because he remembers every detail, but he knows it's going to start fading as soon as he gets out of the car.
He wasn't expecting to spend Sunday night too - he thought Harlan would take him back to school on Sunday, spent half the day waiting for the other boy to pick up his keys and tell Marcus it had been fun, but it was time to go. Only Harlan never said anything, and when he started pulling Marcus' clothes off again right after dinner Marcus got the feeling he wasn't going anywhere for awhile.
Not that he was complaining, because the longer he stayed at Harlan's the less time he had to worry about what happened when he got back to school. Only it had to end sometime, and he reaches up to tug the collar of his uniform shirt a little higher. He's not sure what happens now, if he and Harlan are going to go back to pretending they hate each other, or even if they do still hate each other. He's not sure how he feels anymore, but he knows as soon as he gets out of the car that's all he's going to think about.
He reaches for the door handle, half expecting Harlan to pull him back in for one last kiss. When it doesn't happen he tells himself he's not disappointed - he's not, because they're sitting in the parking lot where anyone could see them and he's not sure that he wants the whole school to know. But he has a feeling it won't take long for word to spread, because he's climbing out of Harlan's car wearing the same hopelessly wrinkled uniform he wore on Friday, and there are enough people walking by to guarantee someone's going to notice.
Once he's out of the car he pauses, glancing around and he's not looking for Matt, but he can't help being a little self-conscious about climbing out of Harlan's car in front of the whole world. Like he belongs here. But in a weird way it feels like he does, and when he looks over at Harlan the other boy's grinning at him like he knows exactly what Marcus is thinking.
"Meet me at the trailhead after classes," Harlan says, gaze wandering down Marcus' frame and making him even more self-conscious. "Unless you're not up for it."
"I'm up for it," Marcus answers, although he's not sure even he believes that. Still, Harlan wants to see him again, and he's more relieved about that than he expected to be.
"Good."
One last grin and Harlan's walking away, backpack slung over one shoulder and it takes a few seconds for Marcus to realize he's staring. When he does he shakes his head and looks down, digging in his pockets until he finds his cigarettes. He lights one before he looks up again, pushing his hair out of his eyes and exhaling a cloud of smoke.
By the time he makes it halfway across campus he's a little more relaxed, less worried about who saw him getting out of Harlan's car and what's going to happen when it gets back to Matt. He's not even sure why he's so worried, because they don't hang out that much anymore and chances are Matt didn't even miss him. He tells himself he believes that as he drops his cigarette on the sidewalk, grinding it out with his heel before he looks up and finds himself staring back at Matt.
"Where the hell have you been?"
"Nowhere," Marcus answers, doing his best to hold back a wince because it's pretty obvious they both know that's a lie.
"Give me a break, man, you dropped off the face of the earth for like three days."
Matt's watching him suspiciously, arms crossed over his chest and when his gaze strays to Marcus' neck Marcus finds himself reaching up to tug uselessly at his collar.
"Oh Jesus," Matt says, something like disgust in his voice and Marcus knows his collar's not going to hide the evidence Harlan left behind. "It's true, isn't it?"
"What?"
"Troy said he saw you getting out of Ratcliff's car this morning. I thought he was high or something, but…Jesus, Marcus. You and Harlan?"
He opens his mouth to deny it, to tell Matt he's wrong and Troy must have been high to think that. But the evidence is all over him, and he's going to spend the next week getting up an hour earlier than he has to just to avoid running into the other guys in the shower. There's no way he's going to convince Matt it's all some misunderstanding, and even if he does manage to get Matt to believe a lie, it's not that big a campus and the truth has a way of coming out.
So he takes a deep breath and braces himself, forcing the truth out before he has time to change his mind. "He's not that bad once you get to know him."
For a second Matt looks a little sick, gaze still fixed on Marcus' neck and Marcus knows he's probably picturing Marcus and Harlan together. This isn't the way he wanted Matt to find out; he didn't really want him to find out at all, but if he has to know Marcus wishes Matt could have heard it from him first. At least the part where it turns out his best friend is gay, because he has a feeling there's no good way to break the news to Matt about him and Harlan.
"Not that bad? Are you kidding me?"
"Look," Marcus says, and he wants another cigarette but his fingers are trembling and he's not sure he could light it. "Maybe I should have told you I like guys, but I wasn't even sure until…"
He trails off when Matt gets that look again, the one that tells Marcus he's picturing something he never wanted to think about. And at least now Marcus knows where he stands with Matt - he tells himself it's better this way, because he doesn't want to hang out with a guy who's disgusted by him. "If you can't handle it just say so."
"Fuck you, Marcus. If you wanna date a guy I don't care. Go out with Reed, he'd probably be interested. But not Harlan."
That's not what he was expecting; he expected Matt to take the out, to walk away and pretend he and Marcus had never been friends. He definitely didn't expect his so-called best friend to try to set him up with another guy. "What difference does it make to you?"
"Dude, did you forget the fact that his two best friends are dead because of us? Alex…"
"Don’t," Marcus says, looking around to make sure nobody's listening before he drops his voice and turns back to Matt. "That wasn't us, right? It was all Luc."
"You can keep telling yourself that, but we both know the truth."
It's the closest they've come to talking about what happened since Luc disappeared. There have been a lot of times Marcus wanted to bring it up, just so he could make sure he hadn't dreamed the whole thing. But he'd never pictured hashing it out in the middle of the quad where anybody could hear them, and he's grateful when the bell rings to let them know they're late for their first class, because it means there's less of a chance of someone overhearing them.
He knows Matt's right - he's told himself the same thing a million times - but it's really easy to forget that when he's with Harlan. Besides, he tried to tell Harlan the truth once, way back before any of this started, and Harlan didn't believe him. Nobody would; it's a crazy story, one of those things that sounds like the plot of a bad movie, and sometimes even Marcus has a hard time believing he really killed someone.
He's not even sure it would matter if Harlan did believe him, because as far as Marcus knows they're just sleeping together. It's just convenience, and if it wasn't him Harlan would find somebody else. And it's not like he's in love with the guy, but he likes Harlan enough to want to hold on to what they've got. He's not sure how to tell Matt any of that, though, and he has a feeling Matt doesn't want to hear it.
"Look…"
"Relax," Matt says, shaking his head and looking away like he can't even stand to look at Marcus. "I'm not going to tell your boyfriend your dirty little secret. Just don't expect me to hang around and pretend everything's cool."
Matt's walking away before he even finishes his sentence, and Marcus has to stop himself from following. There's a part of him that wants to go after Matt, to tell him he's right and Harlan's not worth throwing away their friendship. Because Matt knows everything about him, and that means that at least Marcus knows where he stands. With Harlan he doesn't know anything, and he's spent the past few weeks feeling completely off balance most of the time.
But there's a part of him that likes that feeling, and that part is what stops him from going after Matt. He's not sure how long this thing with Harlan will last - a few more days, maybe a few weeks until Harlan gets bored - but he wants whatever he can get. And he knows that's pathetic, that he should have enough self-respect to either find out what they're doing or tell Harlan to go to hell, but he knows he's not going to. He doesn't even want to, and there's no way he could ever make Matt understand why.