FIC: The Beginning and the End (Thunderheart A/B/O, Walter Crow Horse/Ray Levoi, NC-17)
TITLE: The Beginning and the End
RATING: NC-17
FANDOMS: Thunderheart
PAIRING: Walter Crow Horse/Ray Levoi
SUMMARY: Taking the case in South Dakota changes Ray's life forever, and uncovers a secret he's been hiding for more than half his life. A/B/O AU.
Alphas took all the high powered jobs because they were biologically suited to them. It was just science. Occasionally a beta, working twice as hard, could reach the top, but never an omega. That wasn't just science; in a lot of industries, it was the law. It was too dangerous for omegas to be pilots or doctors or firefighters; they were unpredictable, slaves to their body chemistry, weak minded and weak willed.
The beta nurse showed Ray into the exam room, politely instructed him to completely undress, put on a gown, and wait for the doctor on the exam table. Once she'd left him, Ray complied with her instructions, waited, embarrassed and chilly in the thin gown.
After a few minutes, the door opened and the doctor came in. He was an older man, an alpha, and he'd known Ray since he was a child. The doctor had been a medic serving in the army with Ray's stepfather, who was now a colonel, when they were both young men. He closed the door behind him, glanced over Ray's chart for a moment before slipping the file into the plastic sleeve on the back of the door. He looked at Ray.
“How are you, young man?”
“Fine, sir, thank you.”
The doctor washed his hands, dried them, and approached Ray on the exam table. His hands were cool as they pressed gently against Ray's pulse points, as they held Ray's jaw in place to shine a pinpoint of light into his eyes. Ray breathed deeply as the doctor held the stethoscope to his chest, listening to his lungs and heart.
“Lay back,” the doctor said, and once Ray had, he palpated his abdomen.
“Still taking your injections?” he asked.
“Of course,” Ray said, breathing slowly, looking at the ceiling.
“Any side effects?”
“No.”
The doctor pulled out the stirrups. “Scoot down to the end of the table.”
Ray swallowed thickly. He scooted down as far as he could, put his feet in the stirrups, exhaled slowly as his legs fell open. He kept his eyes on the ceiling as the doctor snapped on some gloves and continued the exam.
“Are you sexually active?”
“No.”
“Good,” the doctor said. “The injections aren't magic. They'll work better if you do the work. Keep yourself--”
“Frustrated? Lonely?”
“Safe,” the doctor said. “Safe, Raymond.”
Ray gritted his back molars together, hard. “Yes, sir.”
“Relax. I'm going to examine your prostate.”
Ray breathed slowly as the doctor's lubricated, latex-covered finger probed inside him. It was uncomfortable, invasive… but it was the only time he was ever touched like that, once a year by a man wearing gloves, and he couldn't help but wish that things were different. He'd given up so much, and most of the time he could keep from thinking about it, but sometimes…
“All right, Raymond, let's finish up.”
The anal speculum was cold. Ray exhaled slowly as it stretched him open, and looked away from the look of concentration on the doctor's face. He looked at the plastic sleeve on the back of the door, his file peeking out. It was labeled with the first two letters of his last name, and inside, the first line was the same as the first line of every other file about him. It read: LEVOI, RAYMOND. DATE OF BIRTH: JUNE 22, 1954. SEX: MALE, BETA.
Ray felt pressure as the doctor swabbed his cervix. The first line of his file here was the same as the first line of every other file about him: a lie. Ray Levoi was an omega.
***
Ray's mother was an omega, and his biological father was a beta, so the chances of him ending up an alpha were slim, but his stepfather, a no nonsense alpha, had hoped. With Ray's thirteenth birthday came his first heat, though, showing definitively that he was an omega like his mother. Ray's stepfather, the colonel, had been more than disappointed. He had been heartbroken, and, in a fit of desperation staring down his son's likely future, he had made a decision.
There was a drug cocktail given to omegas in the armed forces that suppressed their hormones. It kept them from going into heat, it suppressed their scent and their slick, and it kept them from getting pregnant if they did breed. Ray's stepfather had made a call to his friend, a medic he'd served with during his youth, and he had asked for a favor. He gave his son his first injection, a long needle in the stomach, before his first heat was over.
He never had one again. He could never have passed for an alpha, but with the shots, and with discretion, he could pass for a beta. It would be a better life. Ray played sports, and excelled in school; he worked his ass off, and as a beta went to Quantico to train to be a special agent with the FBI, a position it was illegal for omegas to hold. He worked harder than anyone. He kept his head down. He didn't flirt and he didn't kiss; he took his injections every week, and he never got close to anyone.
Until South Dakota. Then everything changed.
***
Ray cut ties with the FBI. Not only was he a federal whistleblower, but he went on national television as a former FBI agent to talk about what Coutelle had done. His own face, his own name. He could never work undercover again.
He was more confused about who he was than he ever had been. And for the first time in his life, there was only one thing he knew he wanted for himself.
The night after the stronghold, Walter Crow Horse took Ray home with him, put his arms around him and dipped him back, and gave Ray the first kiss he'd had since puberty. Ray felt weak, dizzy, and hot, and God he wanted it, wanted more. He breathed in Walter's sharp alpha scent, Walter's hands still on him, and he wanted so badly it ached in his bones.
“I think you oughtta stay for a while,” he said, and Ray nodded, breathed, “Yes.”
***
Walter offered him a deputy's position under him at the Bear Creek sheriff's office. Ray didn't know what to say. He didn't know what to do.
“You don't have to decide right away,” Walter said, and Ray exhaled.
“Thanks,” he said.
Walter showed him around the rez. He let him sleep in his guest room, not pressuring him at all about leaving. He wanted Ray to stay. He took Ray to the general store to buy things he liked to eat, and they cooked together in Walter's kitchen. They ate together, and then washed up together after every meal. Walter flirted with him, and Ray tried his best to flirt back, and he kissed back when Walter kissed him and at night alone in bed, listening to Walter snore in the next room, Ray stroked himself slowly, thinking of Walter's mouth on his and his hands on his body, thinking of Walter slipping his fingers up into him, pushing his cock into him and knotting them together. He stopped before he came, because some part of him was terrified of all this, and because the injections dulled his feelings, dulled sensation, and sometimes he couldn't even get it up, let alone come.
“I need to tell you something,” Ray said one day. They were on the couch, tangled together, lips hot and swollen, Walter's scent made heavy by arousal like the way the air feels heavier after it rains. Walter pulled back, tenderly pushed hair from Ray's forehead, gave him his full attention.
“I, um, I haven't been completely honest with you,” Ray said. He explained about his stepfather the alpha, and about his first heat, and about the injections. He explained about lying on every personal form he'd ever filled out, about breaking the law to be a special agent, about how hard it was anyway, even passing as a beta. He explained about never feeling safe letting anyone touch him, about being afraid to get close to anyone, about always being afraid of losing control or being found out.
When he was done, Ray could hardly force himself to look at Walter, but Walter's expression was gentle, concerned.
“How long have you been taking these shots?” he asked finally.
“Since my first heat,” Ray said. “Almost 15 years.”
Walter shook his head slowly. “You poor kid,” he said, and something in Ray broke, and he burrowed into Walter's arms and cried.
***
Ray got the injections in six month lots. He looked into the box at the long, thick syringes, imagined the feel of the needle sliding into his abdomen.
“What if I hate it?” Ray asked.
“Then you can just start taking them again,” Walter said.
Ray nodded. He closed up the box, and packed it away under the sink. He was skipping a dose for the first time in his life. He might never take the medicine again.
He forced a smile. “Here goes nothing.”
Walter pulled him close, and pressed a kiss to his temple. “It's gonna be great, honey.”
***
It happened slowly, then all at once. At first, Ray noticed little changes. He woke up with an erection. He flushed when Walter smiled at him. He felt his heart race when Walter flirted with him. And then, a few days after he decided to skip his injection, he walked past Walter in the kitchen and caught his scent, and slick flooded his underwear, and before he knew it, he had Walter pressed to the wall and he was kissing him deep and desperate for his touch.
“Easy, easy,” Walter murmured. “We got plenty of time.”
He didn't understand. “Now,” Ray rasped. “I need you now.”
***
They were in Walter's bed, naked, close. Ray sat in Walter's lap, face to face, his knees to the side of Walter's hips. Walter's hands on his body were gentle but sure, and he held Ray close and kissed him, slowly, thoroughly, perfectly. They were hard together, their cocks between them. Walter's cock was shorter than Ray's, but a little thicker, and right then the knot at the base was just a bump, but Ray wanted to know what it would feel like inside him, he wanted to feel the knot expand and fill him, lock them together.
But Walter was right. They had time. Ray felt urgent desire like he never had in his life, but he was not in heat so he could control himself, and everything Walter was doing felt so good that he could wait.
Walter stopped kissing him a moment, pulled back to look at him. He threaded his fingers through Ray's hair, resting his palm at the base of Ray's skull.
“Is this good for you?” he asked.
“Yes. God, yes.”
Walter kissed him again. “You're so beautiful, baby. You feel so good.”
Walter took him in his arms, lifted him. Shifted them so Ray was laid out beneath him. Walter kissed his neck, his chest, Walter's long hair tickling across Ray's sensitive skin. Ray moaned, took a deep breath, tried to steady himself.
“Walter,” he said, and Walter nodded.
“I got you, baby, I got you.”
Walter positioned himself over Ray, and Ray found himself spreading his legs instinctively. He was slick and swollen and aching. Wanting. Walter kissed him, and his fingertips tickled down Ray's body until he found his hole. He traced the contours of Ray's hole with his finger, stimulating the outside without going inside, and Ray shivered.
“Easy,” Walter said. “Easy, now.”
“I want--”
“I know, baby. I got you.”
Walter kissed him, and gently wormed his finger up inside Ray. Ray groaned, and thrust against Walter's touch. Walter whispered gentle words in Lakota, and inserted a second finger, stretching Ray, rubbing inside him, the nerve-rich tissue, his prostate. Ray bucked and whined, desperate again, no longer handling it. He gripped Walter's shoulders, and Walter let him, shushing him gently, telling him it was okay, he was going to be okay. Walter shifted over him, reaching for something from the nightstand. He slipped on a condom, and rubbed two fingers of lube over his cock, and then the broad head of his cock was pressing against Ray's hole, and Ray wanted to thrust himself up onto it, but he knew he'd hurt himself, so he took in deep breaths and forced himself to be patient. Walter was careful, but not teasing, so Ray didn't have to be patient long. It was only a moment, Walter positioning himself over him, and then Walter's thick cock pushed inside the tight ring of muscle, filling him so gloriously, and Ray exhaled a breath he'd been holding for a very long time.
“God, yes, yes, please,” he moaned, and Walter began to move slowly inside him, long, sure strokes.
Ray felt it everywhere in his body, ticklish, tingling pleasure swelling up his every cell. Walter rocked inside him, his alpha scent heavy in the air, making Ray heady and hungry. His body felt alive in a way it never had before, all lit up with incredible sensation. He moaned and rocked, positioning his hips up, offering himself as much as he could, his hands gripping Walter's biceps but feeling boneless, weak.
“You feel so good, Ray,” Walter said. “You're taking it so good for me, baby, so good.”
Ray couldn't speak. He was doing his best to breathe. He watched Walter's face, met his eyes, and hoped that told him enough.
“You ready?” Walter asked, breathless, and Ray nodded. Yes, yes, he wanted it.
Walter's thrusting went erratic, short jerks, and Ray felt himself filled with Walter's come. And then he felt the knot growing, stretching and filling him so much, as big as a fist. Walter went still, except for his hand on Ray's cock, stroking him gently, and Ray came with Walter's knot binding them together. Their breathing slowed, and Walter gave Ray his weight to take, sternum to hips, and Ray felt Walter's pulse beating atop his own. Walter pressed his forehead against Ray's, and held him, and they stayed like that for a long time.
***
“Do you still have that deputy position?” Ray asked later, the two of them beneath the sheets, skin to skin, but cool and lazy and sated.
“Sure do,” Walter said. “And I got a whole bunch of other positions I'd like to put you in…”
Ray snickered. “Sure, but I meant…”
“You meant, do I have it for an omega?” Ray nodded, biting his lip. “Course I do. You're a helluva cop, and this ain't the FBI. No law against it. We got an omega on dispatch. He takes a few days off for his heat every month, other than that, there's no difference. I'll give you the same deal, if you want.”
“I don't know how I'm going to handle that part of this,” Ray confessed.
Walter kissed him. “We'll figure it out. Together.”
Ray smiled, and kissed him back. “Deal.”